Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - The Burner Phone 26: 20 Dollar Keith!

Episode Date: May 23, 2023

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The Hits with John and Ben's Burner Phone It is the Burner Phone where you leave us a message We clear one every day And we like to do this We like to do this as our own special world podcast You can get involved by texting BURNER to 4487 We'll flick you back the number You can leave us a message

Clog up our voicemail and we'll clear it I like how you say our own special world podcast Worldwide, we're taking this thing international. No, it's a good thing. I didn't mean to say world, but it is worldwide, yes. Excuse me, I'm just navigating some chewy lemon meringue throughout my teeth there. We've got Rob Dickey

who works in the office. Exceptional baker. He is, and he's been bringing in stuff that he's baked at home. Yeah, he brought in like a four-tiered cake. A banana cake, beautifully frosted and iced, like almost, not almost, professional quality. Retail quality cake. You're right.

And years of working with you, like you put it on the table outside where we can see through from the studio. Well, I didn't realise it was from him. I just had it underneath, help yourself with a note. And I was like, oh, it feels like prank cake. I've worked with you for too long. I'm like, what this mean you know but your pranking days are over they're in the past mate you're a new person they're behind me now this was nothing but genuine beautiful cake

from rob so yeah i don't yeah so oh did you think i i had put it there i was just i'm always on i'm always unsure someone's like help yourself i'm like what is this what's happening i know you did try some and i was like oh because you're not a cake person. You're not a fan of the sweet goods. Well, yeah, sometimes obligated. I don't mind the banana cake out of all the cake. And that was banana cake. I didn't have the icing part of it.

Not just because I just wanted to try the banana. It was lovely. Yeah, I'm with you. My favorite cake is the banana cake. Carrot kind of comes from the same family. When you get into your sort of your chocolatey cakes and stuff,

that can be a bit rich for me, you know. Yeah. So I will have it under obligation. So try some of that lemon. So he's done lemon meringue today, a slice.

Good. She was, yeah. I'm a sucker for lemon meringue, sucker for an apple crumble. Yeah. Apple crumble with custard. Oh, that's good. Do you like that?

Yeah, yeah. Sometimes a little bit of whipped cream or a little bit of ice cream as well or Yeah, yeah. Sometimes it's a little bit of whipped cream or a little bit of ice cream as well or something, yeah. But it's really, I tell you what, it's a lot of benefits to having an accomplished baker in the office. Yeah, you're right. Every day, spreading his words.

Now, the burner phone. We'll need to clear the voicemail. Let's have a look at what we've got today. Received at 3.31 p.m. This isn't a question. I was calling because the song came up for the mortgage thing. So I'm going to call again. Thank you.

Oh, Adele's song. Okay. I'm calling again. Now what's happening? It's a misdial. Yeah, unfortunate misdial, isn't it? We've got a competition at the moment on the radio where you have to listen out for a song you get your rent and mortgage paid for

for an entire year with One Roof Property. And they were clearly going, the song's playing on the radio. I'll call the number. Miss comms from our part, we're firing out too many numbers there. And this person's called up the wrong number, left us a message, so hopefully they got the right number. 0800 the hits and they can get in for one of those keys to get their rent or mortgage paid for an entire year.

Great prize, that. Yeah, so some administration out of the way. We've got the next one. New voice message received at 12.28pm. Hey, who are you, little butthole? You owe me $20. I saw you out at the Pokes the other week. I'm going to give you $20.

If you don't give me my $20. All righty. Well, that's enough. I'll call you later in Hesley. I want my $20. Bye. Message saved. There we go.

Okay, so a half-hearted. $20 Keith, we'll call him. Yeah, $20 Keith. Impersonating $20 Karen, but what I do appreciate $20 Keith is the self-censoring there. Yes. Saves me on the beep machine. So thank you, Keith. Now, if you haven't heard the original... We don't know if his name's

Keith or not. No, no, we just made that up, because $20 Karen, and for our world audience, iconic New Zealand message that was left on a phone. This is a few years ago, probably a decade ago. Again, it was probably like that live free caller. It was on the wrong answer phone, right?

Hello, this is Karen. Rachel thinks she can ignore me and hide from me for her 20 lousy dollars that she owes me from like well over three months ago she won $600 at the pokey at the Stokes Valley bar and she said to Jade and Dion

don't tell Karen you've seen me because I owe her 20 bucks. I'll tell you what, I'll get my 20 bucks or she's going to get 20 fucking whacks. And it really escalates from there on in. It goes from zero to 100. She keeps going, yelling.

That was the message. It went viral here in New Zealand and she became a local sensation, didn't she, Karen? She did, she did. And then we ended up owing her $20, and we had to travel down. From a radio competition, we were giving away $20 every day on Queen's birthday weekend because the Queen's on a $20 note. And we were like, well, let's give Karen $20, and then just through sloppy administration, which, you know, the show is, it's our special brand of administration. We didn't actually get Karen her $20, and then she left us a joke message.

Hello, this is Karen. John O and Ben think they can hide from me for the $20 they owe me. So we embarked on a mission, didn't we? In a caravan, didn't we? Yeah, we did. The cash caravan. Yeah, we drove all the way down the country giving out $20 as we went to give Karen her $20. Yeah.

Financially, ridiculous. We gave away hundreds and hundreds of $20 notes just to deliver one lady $20. Radio, don't think about it too hard. It didn't make any sense, but we did it. We got there in the end. We met some lovely people on the way, didn't we? The man with the world's biggest spud, Potato,

which turned out to be not a potato. Yeah, that's right. My hands down favourite moment of the $20 Karen tour. You know what I'm going to say. I'm going to say. It's pitch black. We're traveling top of the South Island. I think we've just jumped off the Blue Bridge Ferry.

Did you have a great sleep? One of your great sleeps with the trip? I did. I had a wonderful sleep on the Blue Bridge where all the truckers sleep. They've got little cabins for them. Little bunks, mate. You spent your time having a snooze. It was beautiful.

It takes a long time to get across the Cook Strait, doesn't it? It does. Anyway, we were driving through the darkness at night and Ben Humphrey, our producer and myself, we're up the front, you're up the back. We see a sweet elderly lady in the middle of nowhere on the state highway, on the side of the state highway

hitchhiking, hand out. And we said to you in the back, hey, Ben, there's a lovely, sweet lady there, a hitchhiker. Let's pick her up. And you're like, I knew where your mind was at. You're like, I'm too tired to engage in conversation. So you're like, oh, no, I'm okay, thanks. Sort of saying, let's just keep driving past her.

And we did. Hopefully she's still alive today. okay, thanks. Sort of saying, let's just keep driving past her. And we did. Now, okay. Hopefully she's still alive today. Now, the story, yes, what you say is all. Any lies. There's no lies. But in my defense. Deserted her.

In my defense, Your Honour, I didn't know it was a sweater lay. I was lying down in the noisiest back of the thing. It's clang, it's big, it's. I'll give you that. It was noisy in the back of the caravan. And it would have been a long day. It would have been a long, long day. I hadn't slept like you.

I hadn't had a wonderful sleep on the bridge. I'd been, you know, and I just, I was just like, and you guys said, hey, there's a hitchhiker. Shall we pick the hitchhiker up? Correct. And I didn't know it was an old lady.

At that time, I didn't know. I was just expecting some smelly tourists. Defecating all over our country. Freedom camping tourists. But I was just in a long doubt. I didn't realise that. And I was just like, oh, look. And we driven past. We hadn't stopped or anything or slowed down. We were just hooting along.

And I went, oh, I'd rather not. And I did say that. I'd rather not. Because I knew I would have been, you know, and I do enjoy talking to people. It's not that I don't, but at the end of that moment, and then you guys, the rest of the trip was like, oh, it was a lady, it was an old, I'm like, let's go back.

Let's go back. No. You never said let's go back. It's too late now. I'm like, let's go back. So, yeah, so apologies. Now he's added the let's go back in. I did say let's go back.

I did. We got, we got, yeah. After we got, you're like, we said we could turn around and you're like, oh. No, this is where, this is where the lies come in. This is the discrepancy in the story. So yeah, but anyway, we left her on the side of the road and that was the end of the story. I didn't know it was an old lady. Would it have changed if we had said, hey.

You said there's a sweet old lady there and it's raining. I didn't even know it was raining. You couldn't see anything. It was loud. It was noisy old lady. Would it have changed if we had said, hey. You said there's a sweet old lady there and it's raining. I didn't even know it was raining. You couldn't see anything. It was loud. It was noisy. Dark. I was just lying down on the weird seat in the back. So, yeah.

It was noisy back there. I hear you. But, yeah. And I love it how we assume she's a sweet old lady. She might have been a monster on the run. Anyway, that was a fun tour. And thank you for listening to The Burner Phone. If you'd like to leave us a message.

If you want to join the Burner Phone podcast, text BURNERPHONE to 4487 and we'll send you our digits. You could be on tomorrow's episode.