Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - The Burner Phone 47: Pick Up Lines With Producer Tay

Episode Date: June 29, 2023

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The Hits with Jono and Ben's Burner Phone It is our Burner Phone, you can leave us a message at any stage and we'll clear it, clear one a day and we enjoy finding out what your messages are Now Ben, you're heading into the weekend today? We are heading into the weekend, yeah You going to the Warriors tonight? Tonight, yeah the weather's not looking amazing, it's looking right out there at the moment but the weather forecast is not amazing so so we'll see how that goes.

And sold out stadium. Yeah, although they've released some extra seats now, apparently, so I don't know. The extra seat thing always weirds me out. It's like, well, just tell us how many seats you got from the get-go, you know? Yeah. They always do that at concerts.

Oh, we managed to pull out miraculously another 1,500 seats. Yeah. I ended up sitting next to Ed Sheeran when he was singing. It was a bit awkward. I was like, I'm just going to go to the bathroom. Is that all right? He's like, yeah, no. No worries.

I'm just in the middle of bloody Eyes Wide Shut or whatever the song is. Yeah, so that was a bit awkward. But hey, it was an extra seat. And Taylor Swift has announced more shows as well. Yeah, she's got some more shows. I guess that's the tactic from artists. They kind of... You probably want to test the waters, don't you?

Yeah. What's the demand like for me in this territory? Well, you don't want to come in and Taylor Swift doesn't want to come in and go, I'm doing 12 shows. And then everyone goes, oh, I've got heaps of time. We'll look at that one.

I can't go to that one. You're like, I'm only doing a couple and then... Get demand. Get the public frothing. It's a good tactic. We were accosted the other day from traffic by a carload of Taylor Swift fans.

Have you got Taylor Swift tickets? And we don't. No, we don't. So we could have emailed Taylor Swift and go, man, there's carload of Taylor Swift fans. Have you got Taylor Swift tickets? And we don't. No, we don't. So we could have emailed Taylor Swift and go, man, there's a lot of demand out there harassing us for tickets. We don't even look like we'd have Taylor Swift tickets. Let's have a look at today's message. Hey, Jono and Ben.

Hi. So I'm nearly single, back in the dating game game and I've been on, you know, the apps a couple dates and I'm just, I'm struggling and I want to know if I'm just being picky or if you guys agree with me. I was just wondering what your thoughts are onup lines because I've heard some absolute shockers and it's just putting me off the whole experience. Thank you. Pick-up line. Well, listen, you've asked two guys

who've been married for about 98 years. Yeah, yeah. So the last time I used a pick-up line, it was like, my good father, my good sir, would you mind if I take your daughter's hand in marriage? That was how I... Yeah.

I always feel like pick-up lines wouldn't work, but there was something actually I'll find it. There was something the other day that I was reading that basically says the opposite of what I just said there. Yeah, no, they're an icebreaker. They're like you kind of get the vibe for the type of humour that person has. Here it is. They did a survey through a whole lot of people in Britain, Gen Zers,

and some of the things that came out of it was that pickup lines, a lot of them said they were great, and a lot of them said that was male and female would also use pickup lines. It wasn't just, oh, it's the males, so it was females as well. They actually ranked. I'll run you through. They actually ranked some of the of the you want to go how many you want to go there's that goes all the way up to 25 so i don't know if we want to do all 25 i don't want all 25 you want to walk slowly and safely i can't do all 25 as well okay they rank they rank them as far as the

ones that were like oh that's that yeah there's no limitations on a podcast we can be here for three days reading out okay up lines Okay, number 25 Okay, pick up line Actually, I'll get producer Taylor in here as well Because it would be nice to have A female part of this conversation What, you don't want to pick me up? No, I'm just saying I'm trying to pick up

Am I not pick up-able? No, you guys can just both rate the pick up line I'm not trying to pick either up Ben wanted to get you in here, Taylor So he can pick you up with pick up lines No, I don't want to pick either up. Ben wanted to get you in here, Taylor, so he can pick you up with pick-up lines. No, I don't want to pick any up. She's married, Ben. So am I.

This is just for you guys to rate the pick-up lines. Jono wants all 25. Oh, really? I've got a meeting soon, so I'm going to do top 10 maybe. I can rattle through them. Okay, number 25. Are you a keyboard? No.

Because you're just my type. Well, that's good. Do you like that one? I don't like that. You don't like that one? No, that's not impressive. I'm going to like all of them. I'm desperate.

Okay. Are you Nemo? I'll sleep with you. Are you Nemo? Because I've been trying to find you. That's good. I don't get it. Finding Nemo?

Finding Nemo. Oh, I thought you said emo. But that's a good one because then that opens up a conversation. I don't get it. Oh, you're Nemo the fish. Okay. Yeah, true. It didn't go down well.

Do you have a map? Nope. Because I get lost in your eyes. Oh, that's nice. That would work. That would feel so cheesy, though. Even saying that felt weird. But no one would be delivering them seriously, surely.

Yeah. You're not coming in thinking these are actually... Do people still use... Have you had pick-up lines used by you before? Yeah, I got one just recently the other day. I was out and a guy came over and, like, have you had pick-up lines used on you before? Yeah, I got one just recently the other day. I was out and a guy came over and was like, oh, do you mind just a quick two minutes of your time filling out this survey?

And I was like, oh, yeah, whatever. And then he handed me his phone and it was to create a new contact. That's good. And I was like, oh, that's a good one. Hard buy. That's a good one. That's a good one. What's the one that we like?

Oh, I wish you were My little toe So I could bang you On every piece of furniture It's quite full on that one I don't know if it's on the list I'll rattle through the rest Do you still want to keep going With the rest of them?

Yeah, keep going I'm not religious But you're the answer To all my prayers That's good You spend so much time In my dreams I should charge rent

I feel like you're Trying to get money out of her Are you a time traveller? Because I can charge rent. I feel like, you know, I'm trying to get money out of her. Are you a time traveler? Because I can see you in my future. Oh, these are good. Do you know what my shirt is made from? You guys don't know?

Marriage material. Oh, that's good. That's my favorite. That's number 19. Okay, that was your favorite. Do you know CPR? Because you look, oh, you just took my breath away. Yeah, done.

Been there, done that. Wow, you look a lot like my next girlfriend slash boyfriend slash, yeah, okay, yeah. Do you have a name or can I call you mine? Oh, okay. Sorry, I should have pre-read these. These are the confidence that Ben would deliver pick-up lines with, though. I'm not a photographer, but I can picture us together. That's cute. Okay, that's a 15.

A number 14. Aside from stealing hearts, what else do you do? See, that's good because it opens up conversation. It does, yeah. What do you do? Interested about what you do? If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you and I together. You do that one.

Is your dad a baker? Because you're a cutie pie. I like that. Yeah, that one got a good response as well. Is your name Cam and Mile because you're a hot tea? Hot tea. Oh, I thought you were going to say Cam and Beer. I thought it was cheese.

You know, you could go with something like the Dilma. Is your name English Breakfast? Because you're a hot tea. Do you work at NASA because your beauty is out of this world? That's good. I believe in following my dreams, so lead the way. Oh, that's...

Yeah, there you go. It's now too late to go. I regret doing all 25. Yeah, we're in the top eight now. Okay, good, good. We're getting to the end of it. What number should I use to text you goodnight? That's okay.

No. How's that better than the other one we left? Oh, yeah. Number seven, if I said you had A beautiful body Would you hold it against me That one feels like It's been around forever

I think that's a Britney Spears line Oh is that from her song Would you hold it against me Ah What one have we liked So far I've forgotten I'll come back to that

It was 15 Cutie pie Yeah Cutie pie was good Yeah Oh no I've kind of moved on. I've moved on now.

If being beautiful was a crime, you'd be on the most wanted list. Okay. Are you alone? As you've got my interest. Okay, here we are. Top four. Oh, are you alone because you've got my interest? That's nice.

Okay, top number four. We'll give this one a bit more effort. Should we get coffee? Because I like you a latte. I like that one. A bit of a pun. That would be one. If I was in the game, maybe I'd use that one, but I'm not.

Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got fine written all over you. That's a good one for Jono. Jono likes his parking tickets. Is your name Google? Because you're what I've been searching for. Yeah. Oh, that's not bad.

And number one, is your name Wi-Fi because I'm feeling a connection. I feel like there was one earlier on that you guys were a

lot more interested in. It was like number 15 or 16 which was really good. Oh marriage material was that

well it was good. Do you know what my shirt is made from? Yes. Marriage material. Yeah that was fun.

Yeah that one should be way up the list. There you go pick up lines. Because if someone said that to me

automatically I'd go to feel their shirt. Now tell me, Marcello, your husband, how did he pick you up or how did you pick him up? So I was a cheerleader for the Bulldogs where he was playing at the time. And what they do is the cheerleaders have a dinner with the players. It's called etiquette training. And then you get sacked when you date someone apparently. But anywho.

What, you have an etiquette training dinner? Yeah, because he was in 20s at the time. So it's like you teach them how to have dinner manners and what fork to use. So you go to a lot of functions and stuff and you want to make sure that they're representing the club, right? Exactly, like brand ambassadors. So yeah, I met him there and then hit it in the DMs straight after.

Yeah, right. And so it was part of the etiquette to bag one of the players? I feel like I took the challenge really seriously, yeah. And so what did you learn at the etiquette dinner? I imagine you learned all sorts. I'm probably breaking all sorts of rules. Yeah, so it was you get like knives, forks, which one to eat the entree with, which one to eat the main with.

I can't remember anything. And then you each have to go up and say a two to three minute speech about yourself as kind of like media training, I guess, as well. Oh, that's worse nightmare stuff. It was worse nightmare stuff. I talked about my dog at the time for three minutes. Oh, that's a tough thing to do. I imagine, yeah, it's all the stuff my dad bangs on about there.

Elbows off the table. Yes. No hats, hats at the table. We the table. No hats. Hats at the table. We have to cross our legs. Insulting for a lot of people. Yeah, and you have to learn how to have a nice conversation with someone. So like, oh, what do you do for work? Even though we already

know. Yeah. We don't eat enough around the dinner table in my house. We'll just go on the couch with a plate and it's better. Like when you do eat around a dinner table it's actually quite nice isn't it? Have formal conversation

well not formal conversation just conversation. Yeah because otherwise you're right you're distracted by something else. Yeah. Are you dinner table

every night? Dinner table or like we've got like a breakfast sort of area you know bench and we'll sit around the bench. Yeah like a bench.

Yeah we never really eat on the couch unless maybe a weekend or something like that. But no I probably actually bench all their table. Yeah, we sit around the four of us each time. And I always see Oscars, I've got tomato sauce on the couch, and I get really angry.

And I'm like, well, actually, I've let you eat on the couch. That's on me. That's on me. There you go. And so did the Bulldogs frown upon this? Seems like a Disney romance. Yeah. Did the club frown upon your romance?

Yeah, so as a cheerleader, you have to sign a contract saying you won't fraternise with the players. Yeah, so I obviously take contracts very seriously. Yeah, you fraternised. So yeah, I got pushed out. Well, that was the end of the cheer squad. Yeah, so I moved to the opposition. I went to Parramatta.

Oh, okay. So you're having a relationship with him, but you're actually cheer squatting another team. Well, after they found out the Bulldogs. But he's still playing for the Bull he was still playing so what happened when the bulldogs play paramata and you're cheerleading for paramata yeah secret kept things exciting um and then i got to the point where i realized maybe his career probably has more longevity in this than mine in cheerleading

yeah right so you backed out of cheerleading. Yeah, right. So you backed out of cheerleading. Yes, and I was like, oh, I'll set aside this time out. Yeah. What did you, like, honestly, when he said, I've signed with the Warriors, were your honest thought of like, dear God, we have to move to New Zealand?

I imagine there was a process the two of you would have talked about it, was it? When was the first thing to say, hey, I've been offered the Warriors? Well, he told me, so his manager reached out and said, oh, the Warriors are interested. Do you want to have a meeting with them? And then he was like, listen, I'm going to do it. And I was like, yep, cool, you do you.

Didn't think anything much of it. And then that day they offered the contract after they met him. And I was like, oh, God. New Zealand. Where is it? The heck country. Five days later he proposed to me. Oh, great playboy. Some would say I had no choice. And so are you liking New Zealand? Yeah, I love it. Does he like it here too? He loves it. He wants to stay forever. He wants to go buy land after he's done and live on a farm somewhere where we can't reach. You don't look like farm material.

I'm not farm material. You saw me at field day. Do you look like marriage material? The shirt's marriage material. Yeah, yeah. Ben's going along to the Warriors tonight as a fan and you're going along as a marriage obligation. Yes. Enjoy the game.

Thank you. Thank you guys. And thank you for listening to the Burner Phone today. If you'd like to leave us a message. If you want to join the Burner Phone podcast, text BURNERPHONE to 4487 and we'll send you our digits. You could be on tomorrow's episode.