Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - The Burner Phone 53: Does Ben Smell?

Episode Date: July 23, 2023

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The Hits with Jono and Ben's Burner Phone G'day guys, g'day Lovely to have you with us It's the Burner Phone I'm a Burner Phone And a Burner I've got Barbie in my head Took my daughter along on Saturday

To see the movie Fantastic It was good eh? I enjoyed it too Yeah, couldn't speak more highly of it Even suggested my mum Who's off to Oppenheimer today with Jon I was like, where's Jon? Just say Jon's your dad Jon's my dad mum who's off to Oppenheimer today with John. I was like,

where's John? Just say John's your dad. John's my dad. Just say your mum's off with John. Having a fear with some guy called John. Oh, I suppose she is. But,

no, I'm pretty sure she's not having a fear. No. Well, I imagine you get to a stage in life where you're like, oh, I just can't be bothered. You know?

Oh, no, I think it's the opposite, isn't it, towards the end of the thing? Oh, do they get a bit frisky? I think they do, yeah. I think it's more like, well, hey, end of the thing oh do they get a bit frisky yeah yeah i think it's more like well hey there's nothing else to do my schedule hey that's uh you know actually excitement in the life i think they had the some of the retirement homes it's like they're all just and why not it's very fertile at that

age you're like well what's the what's the losers like there's no gonna be no no unplanned pregnancies just all pure enjoyment. Yeah. Actually, he's saying that. And he did work in an old folks' home. And she said there was one guy there prolific. Yeah. He was all over the show.

And I think they suspected he might have been in a lady friend's apartment in the village. And it was in the middle of the night. And so they went around to inspect. They weren't about stopping the good times. But they could see him cowering behind a pot plant because they had the torches on. And they were like, oh, you know, Rex, Rex.

No reply. But then they could just see the shadow, the silhouette on the wall because the torch was expanding him. Just a naked guy. But yeah, what do you reckon you're going to be like in the retirement village? You'll be quite sociable. Yeah. Yeah, you'll get around. You'll be one of those people in the vans, you know,

they take down to the local mall. Yeah, doing all the stuff. You hope you're out of the stage. I mean, you don't know how physically fit you're going to be at that age, but you hope you can still do stuff. Yeah. It's sad when people probably be at that age, but you hope you can still do stuff. It's sad when people probably mentally are still good, but physically

their body is not quite what it used to be. And that's kind of sad. You know what is sad? It's a little fast approach. I mean, how quick has the first half a year life gone? It flies by and it gets quicker. It feels like the wheel just spins quicker and quicker each year.

Whereas Oscar, my son, he's like, oh, another term of school. I'm like, mate, it's eight weeks. It feels like eight minutes when you're this age, isn't it? Yeah, you're right. Anyway, burner fun. We've got a message. And if you'd like to leave us one on our voicemail, all you have to do is text BURNER to 4487.

It'll bounce back the number. And you could be like this person hey donno does ben's bum stink does ben's mum stink oh no hey donno does ben's bum stink oh ben's bum well i'm gonna say firstly jenny no smells i don't think she stinks no no but ben's bum to Well, I'm going to say, firstly, Jenny, no, smells magnificent. I don't think she thinks, no. No, but Ben's bum. To be fair, I've never smelled your bum. Give us a sniff. You've tattooed it. We talked about that today, actually, on the radio show, ahead of what I thought was a Margot Robbie interview that turned out to be AI. But Margot Robbie has seen my bottom.

She appreciates it. And Cara Delevingne. It was an interesting case. Because you've, okay, so full story, if you don't know, I guess we'll just, you know, we've got time to sort of run She appreciated it. And Cara Delevingne. It was an interesting case because you've, okay, so full story, if you don't know, I guess we'll just, you know, we've got time to sort of run you through it. When I started at the Rock Radio Station, it was kind of part of my initiation to sort of get a tattoo on my behind

and a lot of people, you've got one, you've got one from the Rock Radio Station, you've got Nick and Rog and Loveheart who were the breakfast show for many, many years on the Rock. And you got that professionally done. So the twist on it, you decided was you were the breakfast chef for many, many years on The Rock. And she got that professionally done. So the twist on it, you decided, was you were going to do my one, Jono and Ben, on my behind. And I think you put the end backwards, looked like a lightning bolt.

I mean, yeah, anyway. And a little stick figure. I mean, it wasn't your best work. Yeah, there was two stick figurines, and then Jono and Ben, and I wrote the J around the wrong way. Or something, yeah, did some letters wrong. It the J around the wrong way. Yeah, or something. You did some letters wrong. It's almost like it's in a different language or something.

Or shorthand or something. I've treated your bum like a Magna Doodle. Yeah. You know, where you just draw stuff on. But you can't erase, like a Magna Doodle, you can't erase what's on your bum. I mean, you can. You can get laser. I've got laser from other parts of my body.

And, geez, that was painful. So I'm like, ah. Then on the other cheek, you've got Dwayne Rock Johnson. Yeah, I know. I'll keep that. I've just been scribbled all over. But yeah, so we interviewed Margot Robbie for her movie when she was in Suicide Squad.

And one of the things that they'd been doing, they had a tattooed gun, which seems wildly, you know, wild, to have a tattooed gun on set. And she ended up tattooing some of the other cast and crew. And she did it, I think, she spelt something wrong, squad wrong on someone's tattoo. So you brought that up and then you were like, hey, I also tattooed him on his bum.

But we'd also just got in trouble for an interview we'd done with Jared Leto. Not that he didn't enjoy it, he loved it, but we got in a bit of trouble. And so I felt like we were skating on thin ice to be in the movie junket premiere. Sorry, in the interview. So when they went, can you show us? I was like, oh, I'm going to get in trouble.

And you could see them roll their eyes. Oh, he's going to get in trouble. Come on. And so I did. You got them to chant. Butts out for the girls. Butts out for the girls. And you did get your's out for the girls that's out for the girls and you did get your butt out for the girls and i thought we're going to get in trouble but we didn't i

think at that stage of the day they were like whatever that was fine but yeah that's good they enjoyed your butt too they said this is a nice little it's a taut little thing isn't it yeah it's a beautiful butt um what was this question at the beginning oh i just my bum stink yeah that was the long way to get around there is that was probably You've got close to that And you've tattooed it I have I've had my hands on it It's a lovely bottom

What do you think The worst thing Is you've ever smelt Whether it was on purpose Or Just something You caught a whiff of We had a

Decomposing something In the roof of our house Oh that's bad Yeah And it just permeates And then you get Pest control over And the last thing. And then you get pest control over. And the last thing you want to hear from pest control is,

mate, you're going to have to ride it out. He said you had to ride it out because he couldn't find what, I don't know what it was. It was in the roof. And for two weeks, you're just living with the smell of death. Oh, that's horrible. And we go, yeah, and it just pumps through. Oh, it's just, and it just, there's nothing quite like that odour and it just pumps through oh it's just and it just

there's nothing quite like that odor yeah is it it's just what's your day yeah it kind of sticks with you bad odors like i had one a couple of weeks ago where um the cat must have got uh accidentally locked in one of my my daughter's bedrooms and because the cat's pretty good it goes in and out the house doesn't have any accidents but at this occasion must have got locked in and tried in the middle of the night to get out. And in the morning, I just hear my daughter go, Dad, can you come in? And he'd done some business on a rug. It was very early in the morning, and I had to start my Sunday morning cleaning up there.

And I just got, oop. Starting my Sunday morning, like, I was just getting, oop. It was very, like, it was all. Stung the nostrils. The more I tried to pick it up, the more it sort of spread across the rug, and I was just like... It was a very low moment for the cat and a low moment for me, too. I was probably about six Sunday morning,

and I'm like... Nothing funnier than watching someone gag, is it? I don't want to watch you make me do that. Which reminds me, I put the rug... I tried to clean it off, put it outside. It's still outside. It's been outside for about two weeks. Let nature clean it off.

Yeah, so hopefully it's clean. Mother nature. Yeah, if not. So there you go. The thing I have about odours too is like you mentioned that odour and the smell of death or whatever body odour. You know, when you're born, you don't know the difference between a nice odour and a bad one, do you?

True. You haven't got those senses. So somewhere along the line, we make a connection between our nose and our brain and we decide what's good or bad. I wonder if you could rewire a baby. Oh, yeah. And you're like, hey, that odor of the cat on the road,

that's actually delicious. Yeah, that's what you want. Yeah. And you could train yourself to actually accept those as pleasant smells. I wonder if that could be possible. Yeah, that's what you want. Yeah. And you could train yourself to actually accept those as pleasant smells. I wonder if that could be possible. Yeah. Because, you know, when they're babies, you can do all sorts. And they don't react.

You're formulating all your sort of decisions and opinions. But the stuff that the dog has to put up with, too. Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't complain. No, he doesn't. So it's just another order to me. Hey, and that was just another episode of The Burner Phone. If doesn't know. He doesn't complain. No, he doesn't. You're right. It's just another order to me.

Hey, and that was just another episode of the Burner Phone. If you'd like to be part of it. If you want to join the Burner Phone podcast, text BURNERPHONE

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