Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - The Burner Phone 56: The Brown Eye

Episode Date: July 27, 2023

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The Hits with Jono and Ben's Burnaphone thing. You don't know where it's going to head, Ben Boyce. No, you're right. It is all dictated by you. If you want to leave us a message, I think we've still got some challenge petrol service station vouchers to give away for the people that we use, their messages. Every day? Yeah. How much do they get? I think so. I think they get a $50 voucher. $50? Yeah. Jesus.

So the person the other day said, hey Jono, what does Ben's bum smell like? That was a $50 message. That was all they did. day said Hey Jono, what does Ben's bum smell like? That was a $50 message That was all they did Really? Hey Jono, what does Ben's bum smell like? We gave them $50 to spend on gas money Just for that

You know, that's how we reward I mean, it really feels like it's You know, all the things you get You know, you're like I just rang up and said How does his bum smell? I got a $50 voucher Yeah, that seems like

If I'd known that going into that one, we could have got another one. No, but it was fun. It gave us a laugh, and we had a conversation about it. And we ended up doing, what did we talk about there? We talked about Margot Robbie. That's right. I ended up showing her my bum.

That's right. That's right. And for the record, it smells delicious. For an interview. I didn't just show her randomly. Remember the old classic, the brown eye? It had a period in life, didn't it? I remember vividly on a bus on the way to school,

a guy did it and he pressed his cheeks against the window of the bus. The bus driver had had enough. Oh, he was angry. And was like, get out. Oh, wow. Get out. And, you know, I went to a private school, St. Kennington's College.

Oh, right. Presbyterian school for privileged white people. And he got dropped off in an area that maybe a private school boy wouldn't want to get dropped off in. Oh, really? He was just like, get out. Get out. Get out of my back. Before cell phones, I imagine, too, when they had a phone.

He was. And the bus driver Took off and left him Wow Yeah It was the thing There was always Some got one On a school trip

Back of the bus Situation Either pressing Their flesh up Against the back window Or the side window Of what it is You know

I never got I never sat at the back I wasn't too phased About whereabouts On the bus I sat No I was more about You know trying trying to sit with your mates or whatever. If they were towards the back suite, if they were, you know, it was fine. I also vividly remember my first day of school walking on and just seeing.

They look like men, don't they, the 18-year-olds when you first start. Oh, yeah, like year 13 or whatever, when you're year nine. And they all line up in the back seat. Terrifying. It's amazing how, you know, when you're year nine. And they all line up in the back seat. Terrifying. It's amazing how, you know, it's just five years. Like it's five years difference, but they're just a huge five years. It's amazing. Puberty.

It's amazing. Puberty takes off. When you become adults, you know, like let's say a 35-year-old compared to a 30-year-old. There's not a huge amount of difference, usually, generally. But you go from 13 to 18, huge amount of difference. And again, you go from a 2-year-old to a 7-year-old. It all happens through childhood. Those first 20 years are prolific.

You're really going places. Then you kind of slow down and sort of spread out. You kind of widen. And then somewhere along the line, you go downhill. And they're like, oh, geez, they're looking old now, aren't they? That widen. Yeah. And then somewhere along the line you go downhill and they're like, oh, jeez, they're looking old now, aren't they? You know, that's what happens. We saw Paul Henry the other day.

Yeah. Said the same thing. What? He said, oh, you're looking old. Yeah. Yeah. He told me I was looking skinny as well, too. That's a nice compliment.

Jeez, if you lost weight, you look skinny. I don't even know how to take that because. Take that as a compliment. Yeah. You don't like it when I call you tired. So you look tired. Because I do look tired. You find that easy. My daughter told me that day when she went to take a photo, she's like it when I call you tired so you look tired because I do you find that easy my daughter told me

the other day when she went to take a photo she's like oh good I'll put a filter on you that was her thing to make me feel better and it did make me feel better

filters definitely make you look better I have those people like we're putting no filters on us I'm like well good on you but I need some put five on me

yeah it's not what I look like normally but that's fine put an emoji over my face. Anyway, here's today's message for the burner phone. Oh, there's some loud masticating. It's like it's hot. Whatever.

Hi, John. I'm just here. I just saw you guys when you go in the beep. And that is really, really, really my jam. What's your favorite podcast in the show? What's your favorite HelloFresh recipe? Okay, so we'll cover that. Hello, Jono and Benno.

I love a Jono and Benno. Yeah, I love that too. Usually the boomers come in with a Jono and Benno. But, okay, so what's your favorite podcast? And then what's your favorite HelloFresh recipe? Interesting. To be honest, to answer the second question first, we've done the HelloFresh before.

We've done all the MyFoodBag stuff in the household from time to time. But I don't know off the top of my head that I would go, that's my favorite recipe. They all, and this isn't a slight on those food services, but to me, again we've done them, you know, just sporadically. They all kind of taste the same. Oh, you reckon? Everything's got

a similar flavour. Okay. It's not bad, it's delicious. Right, yeah. But I felt, oh, you could definitely tell oh, that's a HelloFresh meal just because of the flavours in it. Okay, yeah, right. Yeah. But like, oh, you could definitely tell, oh, that's a HelloFresh meal just because of the flavors in it. Yeah, right. Yeah. But I enjoyed it when we did the bargain box and stuff like that.

But the only thing I found that I was never good at keeping, they'd go, this will take you 25 minutes. And sometimes it wouldn't. I'm not as quick in the kitchen as maybe some other people. I love being in the kitchen. But yeah, so that would always go. Well, they said it was 25, but I couldn't quite do it. But I did enjoy it. Yeah.

I love the, because you can get gourmet on some of them. Yes. And I'm like, who's getting home on a bloody Wednesday night after, you know, you've been busted your chops all day. You get home. Who's getting home and making a flaming, flaming yonk? Yeah, well, someone is. Someone is.

Probably someone without kids living a great corporate life. They've just come from some cocktail drinks, I imagine, Ben. Six o'clock and they go back to their high-rise apartment. They're like, oh, I can spend two hours making a flame. I'll drink a wine, put some music on, make this lovely thing. No cares in the world. Imagine if you could actually go, we've got this apartment. We're together as a family, as a couple,

but once a week you get to enjoy the apartment and live the life of just a single person well not fully no but i know what you mean yeah you can go like my mate was saying the other day she's like i wish what babysitters that i take the kids out for a bit you know so i could be at home she's like i didn't want to go home i don't want to go out that night i just wanted to be by myself for a night without the kids just watching you know tv yeah whatever do whatever i wanted to do i love my kids but i just would like one night so i was like where is there a babysitting service they could come around take the kids out for the night and then have the night we should get a show apartment the show apartment you can everyone can rent it out you can you listening to can rent it out we'll have

a spreadsheet yeah okay uh denise has got it booked Thursday night. That's great. It's just a show, but you can just go there and do what you want. Sit down, whatever. No questions asked. Whatever goes on in there. We'll get a cleaning service. We can all pitch in for the cleaning service.

What do you reckon? Yeah, we'll think of something. Yeah, it's quite a nice idea. There was someone, I can't even remember who it was, but a very well-known New Zealander had like a sort of a basement or a den in the middle of town. And you had to be a member of the club. I can't remember who it was.

I can't remember. I know what you mean. Obviously, we weren't of the status. No, but you'd hear about it. I went to such and such's thing. Club? Yeah. Do you know who it is?

We won't say who it is. No, I think I heard. I don't want to say names because I might be wrong, but I had heard Yeah And it seems cool Like a place you can kind of hang out And it had like

I heard Dodgy No no But it had like A cricket net and stuff A cricket net and a bar This is in the middle of town Yeah

Like you wouldn't even know it was there So that sounds awesome And like arcades And a pool It just sounded like a fun Adult playground Yeah But you had to be a member of it

Yeah It was always my dream To get invited along But yeah But how do you get invited? I don't know I. But you had to be a member of it. Yeah. It was always my dream to get invited along, but yeah. But how do you get invited? I don't know. I feel like you need to know the right people. Kind of like the bloody Masons, isn't it? The Free Masons.

That club. Yeah. Yeah, you've got to be arsed, don't you? Yeah, well, yeah, you're probably right. I can get you into Scientology. I can get you into that. I can get you into that? Yeah, do you want to join that club?

Oh, I'm curious to know what it's all about. That's all we want. All we want is curiosity. Oh, in? Oh, I'm curious to know what it's all about. That's all we want. All we want is curiosity. Oh, I know what I'm saying. I am curious to know what it's all about, because I just don't quite understand it. That's the sign on the front door that says, are you curious?

Oh, I am. And that's how they get you in. I am curious. I am. And then you get in there and you're like, oh, sheesh, 10 years later, you're in deep. You're out there promoting Tom Cruise's latest movies. Kind of Mission Impossible this weekend, actually. Tell us how it is

on Monday. I'm curious to see that one as well. What was the first question? The first question was Oh, podcast. What's your favourite podcast? You always mock me because it's always sporting related. Analytics for the NBA. I do. I like it. Bill

Simmons does a great podcast they had the ringer he has his own little network kind of like the ACC here in New Zealand you know like they have the

alternate he runs those I do like his podcast oh so he covers off a range but then he does the rewatchables where they watch

an old they watch a movie every week an old movie and then they watch it again for the second you know for the time they haven't seen it

in 20 years and then they talk about watching it now what's stacked up, what didn't stack up, what things were good about it. Like those movies are always, sometimes they're better in your memory, and other times you can watch an old movie and go, oh, that's still really good. No, that's very, very few and far between.

God of it feels very slow now, eh? I do that with the kids. I take it back. Now, they've just come fresh off watching the bloody The Avengers Endgame and I'm like well let me take you back to the very first Star Wars

and the intro with the words going up the screen yeah looks like a word document or something that someone's scrolling on for the time

it was incredible but yeah there are some good ones we've watched recently the Truman Show the kids really enjoyed that that still works yeah the concept of that

is quite interesting that was quite interesting. That was when it was... Jim Carrey was like, he was caught in the world. A TV show. Yeah, he didn't realise he was in a TV show. That's not really spoiling anything because, yeah, but he works out this whole thing. Everyone's been lying to him.

He's in a TV show. And Cast Away we actually watched the other night too and that was good actually too. Yeah. Although I won't spoil the ending. Oh, I know. You haven't seen it by now, I can't. Turn off if you haven't.

But it's a bit sad, the ending, in a lot of ways. It's not the happy ending that you all thought it was going to be. Do you remember the Gods Must Be Crazy? Was that one where the Coke bottle fell down to Earth? And they'd come from America, but they ended up in Africa. And I always remember that scene where the lady fell through the bottom of the plane and you could just see her legs. Do you remember that?

Was that a scene? Yeah, vaguely. I just remember the Coke bottle being discovered and then that was like, where's this come from? It came from a plane, I think. Yeah. And they thought it had come from the gods.

Yes. I don't know how that would stack up. No, there's a lot of stuff now that wouldn't quite. I mean, maybe it does. I don't know. I haven't watched it, but that's the sort of thing they do on that rewatchables. They'd watch something like that again. do you remember the sauciest scene

ever in cinematic history for a period was Sharon Stone uncrossing her legs and she didn't have any underwear on and basic instinct I saw something about the other day saying that she um she what she she didn't consent to having that filmed or something like that or something or wasn't it was something like that yeah I was like yeah it was something going on that's a major yeah that's a pretty major or didn't know about that was good i don't know yeah so i was like oh now i've said it i feel like no go and have a google yeah yeah but so she was just not wearing underpants that day well i don't know yeah so she yeah she unfolded her legs and uh silly silly sharon she forgot to put underpants on that day i do it regularly uh And there just happened to be a film camera capturing it all.

But if she didn't consent to that, that is... She was gravely misled when filming the interrogation scene. She's been adamant that she didn't consent to such a graphic scene and said she was led to believe that any nudity in the scene would be strictly implied. So there. She's been, yeah, I read something really sad about her the other day that she's, I don't think she's been yeah I read something really sad about her the other day that she's I don't think she's

fit very well or something and she's been basically yeah she's been kind of almost

excluded from movies why I think because now because she hasn't been that well she can only work a certain

amount of time during the day and she's like there's already a million reasons why people don't get selected for things you add in something

else on top. Then you just get nothing. She's like, yeah, this is just. Blacklisted. Yeah. Oh, that's terrible. Yeah. But yeah, I did read that.

So that's a bit of a. What, because you'd be at the premiere. And you'd be like, oh, that's my. Yeah. On the big screen. Yeah. But anyway, I don't know. Yeah, I hope that wasn't.

Yeah. Well, there we go. Yeah. So that was, you're right. That was a very saucy. Different time in Hollywood too yeah hopefully things have changed over there

I do remember another one with the cake scene in was it Under Siege with Steven Seagal Steven Seagal

Under Siege Under Siege where he was a chef and he was but he was also like an amazing martial artist yeah

but for some reason he was a chef making my food bag meals at night, I think, as well. Yeah. And then he was caught in the boat. He was the only one left there, and he killed a couple of people. But there was a scene as well.

That was a saucy scene where a lady had fallen asleep in a cake, and she ended up jumping out of the cake at the rock. But it was like, where is everyone? But they'd all been taken out. Taken out, and it was just Steven Seagal. And the lady, I think, was on Baywatch at the time and they ended up saving the day. So did he go, hey, cake lady, should we fornicate?

I don't know if they fornicated. I can't remember if they fornicated, but I remember they teamed up together and the bad guys had taken over this naval ship, whole naval ship, and then they were like, we've got it all sorted, guys. We've got rid of everyone on the ship, except for some sleepy cake lady. We didn't even know the cake lady who was

coming out of the cake like yeah she popped out later and then together they ended up you know they ended up saving the day you know i wonder who the celebration was for yeah i don't know yeah and if they were like hey you guys promised to the cake lady what's she yeah she's a got narcolepsy yeah so yeah i don't know why she was asleep I suppose it'd be sleepy conditions backstory I feel like she was

asleep maybe I'm wrong again if we did that podcast of watching old movies you'd go oh that's what happened but you vaguely recollected

anyway that's been the Burner Phone for another week if you want to leave us a message you can get yourself potentially a $50 challenge petrol

service station voucher if you want to join the Burner Phone podcast, text BURNERPHONE to 4487 and we'll send you our digits. You could be on tomorrow's episode.