Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - The Burner Phone 68: The Apology!

Episode Date: August 15, 2023

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The Hits with Jono and Ben's Burnaphone No, you're right. Vodafone. They put it with an F, didn't they? Vodafone, didn't they? They spelled the phonetic, didn't they? And to see why they did that. Because the English language can be very confusing. I reckon it would be a tough language to learn if you were coming in cold, wouldn't it? Because there's so many like, look at the New Zealand dialect of English. We're very lazy. We've got all the yeah, nah, yeah, oh, yeah, nah, yeah, yeah, nah,

all good, all good, yeah, yeah. I was playing something the other day that i saw on uh i think it was tiktok or something where a guy was demonstrating and he was kind of having sort of slides and he'd say he'd sort of take a letter away and go oh you think you pronounce that like that well then you add this and it's like oh you change the pronunciation of the start of the word to something you know it's like it just doesn't make sense when you say it like that i reckon the uh the russians would have a pretty black and white sort of language, wouldn't they? Yeah, probably.

Probably. If you went to learn Russian, you'd be like, oh, well, this all makes perfect sense. No confusion whatsoever. But you can. And with ours, you know, you've got words that can mean, sound exactly the same, but mean multiple things. Oh, no. Which I reckon throws a spanner in the works. You're right.

But we're not here to dissect the English language. No, we'll leave that for Shakespeare. Shakespeare's already For other podcasts. More sensible podcasts than us. That's all the dissecting I could probably do of the English language. Do you think you've got a good grasp on it? No, not, I mean, okay, okay. But every

day you will hear something and you're like, oh, what is that? And then. I go through phases of using really big words, but then the problem is I overuse it in a period of time where you're like, well, he's clearly just learned that word. He's saying excruciating a lot. Do you find you do that? We used to say bamboozle.

That used to be our one. We'd say bamboozle all the time. And then bamboozle's dropped off. We're not saying bamboozle at all now, you and me. No, you're right. We're bamboozled by it, yeah. It used to be a very popular one. I knew Aaron, our old technical producer, was like,

jeez, you guys overuse bamboozle. And he got inside my head. So I haven't put the bamboozle thing. Easily bamboozled. Now, to bamboozle you again, Ben, I'm going to play a message that we've already played on the burner phone. If you'd like to leave us one, text 4487 and burner phone. We'll bounce back the number.

You can call and leave a message. Now, we received this message from the wonderful Leone. Not but two days ago. Jono. Jono and Benjamin. I remember. It's Leone speaking. Do you remember this one?

Yeah. Yeah. You might remember me for the person who outed Jono for clipping his toenails at the Sheraton poolside in a CD last year. Now, that's fact. We were on holiday there together, actually, Ben. I wasn't clipping my toenails at the time. You were solo. Leonie's daughter saw me clipping my toenails poolside.

Decided that was the perfect place to be clipping your toenails. My bestest times you, Benjamin. Ageist, sexist, not sure where this is all coming from, but about six weeks ago you were talking about your daughter, Indy, and how she doesn't like her swearing, which is great. And you made a comment on air and you said that Indy just looked at you like she was a 50-year-old woman, and I just kind of thought it sounded a bit disparaging.

So there you go. That was the first one, 50-year-old woman, ageist claims there. So what does a 50-year-old woman look like? Fair enough. The other one was you presented Jono with his cake-making tools to make the green pool, and you suggested that popping could help with making the cake, not Oscar.

Why would the daughter be the one that would help? Just wondering. So there you go. Those are the two. They were good points. They bamboozled me. They bamboozled. Can I use that word?

You can. You can. I think we're filling out our quota now in this podcast. But you went on to apologize. I did went on to apologize because I didn't word? You can. I think we're filling out a quota now in this podcast. But you went on to apologize. I did went on to apologize because I didn't want to upset anyone. I think there was tongue in cheek from me. I only threw that thing. But at the same time, I just wanted to be clear that I made mistakes.

One of his worst fears in life is having to touch door handles with unsanitized hands. Yeah, true. And offending people. Those are his two big ones. So now, what would you say if, after you've just apologised, an apology was to come back from Leonie? What? Leonie joins us on the phone. You've got nothing to apologise for, Leonie.

Oh, look, I feel really bad. I was only ringing as a bit of a joke because I love listening to the burner phone. And as I said in my text, I've done quite a marathon of listening to you two. And I just had a giggle because out of all eight hours of listening, I picked up on two things that Ben had kind of said. I was genuinely joking.

But I sounded really grumpy when it played back. And I thought, oh my goodness, here's another thing. I'm awful. Not at all. No, don't be. I'm awful. Not at all. No, don't be a bitch. You've got nothing to apologise for. It was great entertainment for the burn of phone as well. You put me in my place, but in a nice way,

and I bamboozled her. That's the word of the day, bamboozled her. Bamboozled. So now Leonie feels bad that she thinks you felt bad, and so it's kind of like an inception of apologies here. We're all apologising. the eternal circle of apologies so i do apologize i hope you just took it as the fun it was supposed to be absolutely absolutely um the only one that hasn't apologized is jono for cutting his toenails by the pool have we noticed is that gone

that hasn't gone unnoticed yeah and i will never apologize for that there is no location where i won't cut my toenails, Leonie, and if you don't want to watch it, look away. Well, I didn't watch it, my daughter did. Out for dinner is a bit weird, he puts his feet up on the table, it's like, oh God, but he's doing it. Oh no,

funny. No, look, I really, I love you guys so please keep doing what you do and don't let me be the grumpy old person who puts you off saying stuff. You weren't grumpy at all, we got you. I tell you what, do, and don't let me be the grumpy old person who puts you off saying stuff. You weren't grumpy at all. We got you, John. I tell you what, now, how is this for a turn of events? Ben, you came out with an apology.

Leonie's come out with apologising. Now, we're going to give you a prize, Leonie. Oh, yeah. Okay, what prize are you going to give me? Well, it's a little bag of toenails that Jonathan collected for months. Some vintage Jonathan Pryor toenails there. There's a Fiji trip, there was a Whangamata trip. The Lone Star dinner.

But no, we're going to send you out some hell pizza there. You got a hell pizza in Wanaka? No, we don't. Well, enjoy that. I'll take it to Queenstown Drive all the way to Queenstown and you can use it there Sounds good Keep safe Leonie and thanks so much for listening

Lovely thank you See you mate bye There you go and that was the Burner Phone today If you would like to participate Maybe you can complain Maybe you can apologise Or maybe you can just phone up with I don't know I've given up Maybe you can complain. Maybe you can apologise. Or maybe you can just phone up with...

I don't know, I've given up.