Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - The Burner Phone 74: Star Signs or Hot Drinks?

Episode Date: August 23, 2023

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The Hits with Jono and Ben's Burnaphone What do you think of? I don't know I always I never know I never know how we're judged Perception of us How we're judged Appearance of us How we actually are We've got a massive window here That leaks out into a foyer

Looks out onto a foyer Not leaks And It probably does leak To be honest Might be a leaky building But yeah People have got a full view in here

You do feel At times like Some sort of Zoo creature yeah this is what it would be like if you were in a zoo yeah if i was uh tuatara tuatara yeah uh or a gecko or something this is their view back yeah you'd be like oh those people there and you know do i wave or whatever because we do wonder for you we first started i was always like i need to wave at everyone but there's hundreds of people that go in yeah daily i can't just keep waving the whole wave or whatever, because we do wonder for you. When we first started, I was always like, I need to wave at everyone, but there's hundreds of people that go in

daily. I can't just keep waving the whole time. And again, now you feel like an animal at the zoo. You see what the lions just sit there going, oh, FML, mate. It's the burner phone today, but you've had a good day so far? Yeah, it's been alright. It's been a busy day. A bit of a cake fest here at work here.

Double cakes. I know. It was Sam who does a wonderful job of reading the news in the morning. It was her birthday, but also Megan from the day show, Megan Puppers, she brought in a carrot cake that was made out of a carrot you got from the supermarket. What a wonderful transformation. Who would have thought just that Sunday afternoon shopping excursion would result in, four days later, one of the most delicious carrot cakes I think I've ever witnessed. Yeah, Megan and her husband, Andrew, you were saying up until 11 o'clock last night.

He's like, why am I doing this? No, because she came and she saw the carrot. She's like, that's a big carrot. And we're like, we don't know what to do with it. We wanted to give it to someone who was going to put it to good use. And she's like, I'll get Andrew to turn it into a carrot cake. He's really good at it. And boy, is know what to do with it. We wanted to give it to someone who was going to put it to good use. And she's like, I'll get Andrew to turn it into a carrot cake. He's really good at it. And boy, is he what?

He really is. But I didn't mean for Andrew to stay up until 11 o'clock at night, which he did. I wasn't factoring in. They went and bought ingredients for the cake. This is costly. It's a costly exercise. They've got kids. They've got, you know, all this sort of stuff going on in their day.

I didn't need this. And then they're probably like, if I was Andrew, I'd be like, why am I doing this? Like, what benefit am I doing? But lovely lovely lovely cake and he's right hey andrew if you're listening to this you're probably not but you could have pulled out at any point mate and we would not have been we would not have judged yeah yeah uh wonderful wonderful uh wonderful cake that was really delicious do you know what i genuinely forgotten we'd given them the carrot yeah and when megan turned up with the cake i was like wow, wow. Yeah, it's from your carrot. Follow through.

I'll tell you, like, because in the past I've often said, hey, I'm not a big cake person. Publicly. Publicly, I've said. I just feel like, I don't know, I feel obligated to have it. And, yes, I did feel obligated to have it today. Absolutely felt obligated. Andrew had been up and Megan until 11 o'clock last night.

So, yeah, that was our carrot. But it was a really, really good, I feel like that's now my favourite cake. Carrot cake is my favourite cake. Well, I guess if you were ever going to dabble, you Ben Boyce lover of celery sticks, carrot sticks, hummus, the finer things in life.

If you were ever going to dabble into the cake world, then probably a vegetable-based cake would be your one. It shouldn't work. When you say, hey, I'm going to make a cake with a carrot, you're like, oh, God. But it's actually delicious. It's really good.

Same with banana cake. Well, probably less so with banana, but banana cake's one of my faves. Really do. That's probably up there with my favourite cake, the old banana one, too. And when it's done well, boy, oh, boy, it's done well boy oh boy it's

really like carrot cake it's in the same family it's the distant cousin of not even distant the very close cousin of the carrot cake like so close that if the cake got married to the other cake you'd be like no that's too tight that bloodline yeah uh so it was a delicious cake so yeah i'd put it above for me above chocolate cakes and all that sort of stuff would be a carrot cake i always do it and if i was like hey you want a cake and all that sort of stuff, would be a carrot cake. I always do it. And if I was like, hey, you want a cake? I'd probably go, yeah, carrot cake would be my – that's after that. That's good. I'm glad we found you a cake.

Everyone likes some cake of some variety. Carrot cake for me was delicious. So there you go. Thank you to Andrew and Megan. Let's clear a message. You get it, John Owen Bairn. It's Mike here. I just want to know what you think about my personality based on my coffee order.

I have a long black every morning. Cheers, lads. Very specific question. I think I've seen this bouncing around the internet as well. What do I think of a guy who has a long black hair? I reckon no nonsense. No nonsense. Straight up the guts.

Doesn't have time for any of the other riffraff in life. I'll Google it because I'm sure there's answers on it. What is a long black? Long black says I'm busy. Give it Google it because I'm sure there's answers on it. What is it? Long Black says, I'm busy. Give it to me and I want that hit instant. Here's an article. Would you say, okay, well, sorry, if you have a black coffee, a person who drinks black coffee tends to be single-minded.

Oh, yeah. There you go. Determined. Fitness-orientated, self-sufficient, empowered. Yeah. Bordering a little bit selfish selfish It says here This is not This is their words I could sense a bit of selfishness

From that voice But that's what they think This is quite interesting There's a whole lot here Including our faves as well Tea drinkers are in there Because Del Marti Big supporter of the show

Yep right Okay what do they say about The different varieties of tea drinkers Yeah well it says here Darren Whoever's Darren is in this article Darren says Thanks Darren

With too many flavours to mention Tea is reserved for when you want to break from the norm. Put yourself forward. It's the most civilized of all drinks. Afternoon tea, whatever, exotic flavors, grounded people. These are the people you go to for advice in a situation. They're stable and they're consistent with their routine as well. So they're good. Tea green kids are good. What are you? What's a piccolo going to say about you? they're stable and they're consistent with their routine as well so they're good good tea green

kids are good what what are you you're a oh now what's a piccolo gonna say about you so you're you're you're you know when you have a coffee as well as a wonderful dill martini that we do have um you will go auckland and then outside of auckland yeah i've got my two orders yeah i've got the acceptable metropolitan order and then uh I've just got my raw rural order. And that was actually, you made me quite self-conscious about that one because back story to my piccolo drinking. Dr. Chris Warner, Michael Galvin, the actor, came in for an interview one day, and he ordered a piccolo.

And I said, what's a piccolo? He's like, it's like a flat white, just stronger with a little less milk. And it comes in a small cup. And I was like, oh, that sounds nice. And he had a piccolo he's like it's like a flat white just stronger with a little less milk and it comes in a small cup and I was all that sounds nice and he had it and he's like hmm now he was he was a bit angry because it was a bit too much he wasn't angry but he was a bit like oh there's too much milk in this this is just a flat white so it's kind of like a stronger smaller flat white and so in Auckland I ordered the piccolo and it comes in a tiny little cup which is the bane of your life too, isn't it? Because if you buy me a coffee, come back across the road with this thimble. Thimble for that spelling everywhere. Yeah, and so that's what I do there.

But then we went to Palmerston North, and we went to a cafe and ordered coffee. And the wonderful waiter said, or the barista said, what would you like? And you said, it's not a piccolo town, mate. It's not a piccolo town mate it's not a piccolo town that's what you said to me whispered it to me yeah you're like you're like don't even think about ordering a piccolo um but what is it so i don't even think it'd be on the list well there's something called a quarter a cortado um which seems like a small a small seems along the same lines again i haven't heard of that. What is it? Pretentious, arrogant, narcissistic, self-obsessed?

Every one of those. Isn't he an intelligent type? Or someone at least thinking they're intelligent. Now, if we're going to take the only two people who I know drink, then Michael Galvin, he's a doctor. He's intelligent. And then I'd be the other end of the scale. So, yes, covering the bases there.

And although it's a more unique order in a way, this person won't tend to be a true extrovert. However, they know their opinion matters, apparently. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. I mean, let's roll through. This is falling into the star sign category for me. Yours is a flat white.

So latte, it says they're middle of the road type people. I guess so. That makes sense. Let's go ca Cappuccino. People who order cappuccino are slightly more adventurous than latte drinkers. Oh, really? Overall. In what way?

We're just willing to take a bit more of it. What about the Jenny Boyce? Big bowl of latte. Big bowl of latte. That is a big milky bowl. Yeah. So Mild Manners, agreeable. That would be my mum, a latte drinker.

Happy to go with the flow. Therefore, do the same with hot milk and a bit of coffee because what could go wrong with that? A big bottle of coffee. Yeah, that's true. Okay. We'll go flat white. Yeah, there we go.

People who order flat white tend to think they're a bit more sophisticated than others. Particularly the fact white is a much stronger coffee than something like a latte. Probably single-minded, fairly outspoken, almost arrogant in some cases. Oh, see, I would have put the arrogance in the Piccolo category. Yeah, I would definitely be putting that towards there. Then you've got your hot chocolate. Most indulgent of all the drinks, according to Darren, whoever Darren is, as I say.

They're people that will go, what do they say here? Hot drink is using someone's beverage to zone out from the world. They're using it to zone out from the world. Recuperate. Okay. All right. Can I just say, Darren, you wasted a lot of time. Yeah, I did.

I'm sure he's a lovely guy. He's obviously got a family, people who love him. But Darren, there's probably better things you could have done with your day. Yeah, he's gone through. For what result? Yeah, you're right. For some people to go, oh, yeah, that's you're right so some people to go oh yeah that's a bit of me oh yeah that's not a bit of me yeah he's a humoral uh behaviorist uh as darren um yeah poor police detective i mean he's like 26 years i'm just reading about darren now it's like for 26 years i was in like i

solve murders solve cases actual hardcore detective and now uh oh darren and now someone's asked me to go well what does your coffee order say about you well yeah so I apologize

Darren's better than this I reckon this was an assignment Darren was given yeah he probably even went oh well this is a low

yeah yeah you're right 26 years in the police my skills far exceed psychologist police detective he's an expert

in analysing deception emotional signals yeah so Darren's like oh Darren mate yeah so Darren we did a wonderful job of this

but yeah albeit you could have been investigating far more important things I think you're right it kind of feels a bit like the star signs

that you kind of some people will go oh that's me and others will go oh no that's not me so there's some hardcore star sign people though aren't there

yeah who really who really they really get into it and i don't know if their lives alter or are lived any better than anyone else's lives maybe it's just the motivation some people need to read something go that's and that means i need to do this thing i don't know i don't know i've never followed that but yeah i've never followed star sign yeah tarot you done tarots oh we did we did did yeah only I say for radio purposes yeah taro the taro said

you were going to be a bloody oh yeah it was like a chief chief Bezos or something so maybe that's still to come because it's

not it's not it hasn't happened so far but yeah it's funny those things I think you just people that really believe it again

will take things out of out of out of stuff and go oh that's what that means and almost feels like it kind of leads you into that.

Yeah. Well, you've got to do what you do to get through life, right? Yeah. And whatever makes you happy and makes you get through life, you do that. Yeah. If you believe in tarot cards and star signs, then that's cool. Who are we to judge? If you want to get Darren to go and go through coffee orders and decide what that means.

Who are we to judge? Exactly. So, yeah. So there you go. So what your coffee order says about you is what you want it to say about you. Really, I think. I think it boils down to that. So what does that render these last nine minutes?

Absolutely useless. Apart from the carrot stuff at the top. If you want to join the Burner Phone podcast, text BURNERPHONE to 4487 and we'll send you our digits. You could be on tomorrow's episode.