Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - The Burner Phone 93: Can We Promote A New Business??

Episode Date: October 10, 2023

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The Hits with Jono and Ben's Burner Fold Kia ora, welcome along to the Burner Fold So Ben I've done it to you again, you're eating, I'm sorry It's alright You're mid food, what are you having today, what's going on? Just a bun I made at home You do bring in your own lunch? Yeah I do, yeah

What is your favourite item that you make for yourself when you bring it in for lunch? Because everyone's got their favourites I don't know about whatever favourite. It's just putting together some stuff, really. Yeah. At the same time, yeah. You know what? I can't go past a good old-fashioned bread roll.

Yeah, well, it's kind of what I've got today, a business bread roll with some coleslaw, cheese, and salami. Ooh, nice. Yeah, good combination there. Yeah, so it's all right. Are you mayonnaiseing? Are you mustarding on that? Well, it didn't seem good because the coleslaw was sort of already had-

Saucy. Yeah, yeah. So I was like, well, maybe it's too much. You don't want to double down. Sometimes I go over the top on the sauce where it's like dribbling down my fingers. And yeah, overdose on the sauce. I find that in, I don't know. I don't know how I take that.

When you make a meal, like I make a meal at home. And before anyone's ever tried it, they're dousing it with stuff. They're putting stuff. I'm like, just try it. Do you know? It needs sauce on this? You know, like, I find it a little bit... Just, like, try it. Like, humor me first before you put tomato sauce.

You haven't even taken a bite of this thing and already you're, like, cracking salt and pepper on it and doing stuff. I'm like, oh, just try it first. That's a really good topic. Isn't it an offensive act that when a meal is presented, you just cover it with more flavours?

More flavours, yeah. I mean, I get it. People like their flavours, and I do, you know, too. If I'm having, like, a sausage or something, I'm going to put some sauce with it. But, you know, sometimes I'm like, I haven't even tried it. Spaghetti bolognese full of rich sauces and flavours already. You just looked at it and gone, oh, jeez, that needs something.

That's a very good point. That's a very good point. It's a very good point. Some people don't even like condiments. No, true. I mean, I do, but I don't. I don't. Yeah. Like I always, my wife, she loves condiments.

She's like yourself. So I'm like, ah. Yeah. I can sometimes do without, but yeah. I was just trying to, I'm sure, I was looking back on our text machine, that there was someone who's like, I've never had a condiment.

Never. And don't want to have a condiment. Oh. Because you do, okay, you assume that a meal is, you know, flavor some regardless. You're right, Ben. Yeah, but then, you know, there are certain things, as I said before,

like, you know, sausages, fish and chips, things like that. People are like, well, I can't have it without tomato sauce. No, you're right. And then the tartare sauce or vinegar or this thing. You're like, oh, jeez, you can really get carried away with condiments, can't you? I was talking on the show today about how I've got my condiments sort of lined up

into international sections around the world. Oh, yes. Travelling the globe of condiments. Got the hot sauces and the salsas in the South American Mexican category. The wasabis and the do you know that sort of sesame seed oil sauce?

It sits in the Asian aisle there. But I was just going to go, how many condiments in the world? There would be thousands. There would have to be, right? How many condiments are there? How many condiments in the world? There would be thousands. There would have to be, right? How many condiments are there? How many condiments in the world?

Okay, let's have a look. How many types of condiments in the world? 63 condiments. Oh, so not... This is broken down into 10 classes. I see. Yeah, okay. Yeah, 63 different types of condiments around the world.

So they've categorized them into thick sources, liquidy sources, spreads, pastes. You would say surely in the thousands. Yeah, within those ones, you'd say so, right? Yeah. How many actual condiments are there in the world? Let's have a look. Surely there's got to be some number here. Maybe they

couldn't even put a number on it. I'm going to hazard a guess and say thousands. But they've got the number one condiment in the world. Turns over $2 billion in annual revenue. Have a guess as to what you think that condiment would be. Something that spans the

globe. For some reason I thought ketchup was the first one, but maybe it's not ketchup. Maybe it's like soy sauce. No. No? Okay. It's sort of a distant cousin of ketchup, maybe. Right. Mustard.

No. Sort of in the same family. Producer Joel, you've got your hand up next door. A relish? A little sweet chilli, no. Not a relish. It's bloody mayonnaise. Oh, yeah, okay. Mayonnaise. up next door? A relish? More sweet chilli? No? Not a relish? Oh. It's bloody mayonnaise.

Oh, yeah, okay. Mayonnaise. Two billion dollars of annual revenue a year, mayonnaise. Mayonnaise. Mayonnaise is making bank. Yeah, aren't they just? Yeah.

Spreading it out. Yeah. What? Yeah, mayo's good. And versatile as well. Yeah, yeah. Chuck that on in. You speak of fish and chips,

you get mayonnaise with fish and chips. Mayonnaise on a sandwich, mayonnaise with fish and chips mayonnaise on a sandwich mayonnaise on steak just mayonnaise on everything you sound like you like it see that

yeah see that again I'm like someone's putting mayonnaise on a steak without even trying I'm like jeez you know

yeah I would put mayonnaise only in either oh sandwich maybe potato or sandwich no just sandwich or a wrap

would probably be there that's as far as my mayonnaise she's a mayonnaise in everything if you ever make me a meal, I'll promise not to mayonnaise it immediately. Immediately.

You put it on after one bite, that's fine. Yeah, but lacking in flavours. All right, here's the burner phone today. This is apparently, we've got a brainstorm happening here. Bring the word, Charles. Good evening. Oh, good morning, John.

Burner phone, legal. Okay. Some would call it a drug phone, I guess, but Ben, that's good. Hey, why I'm ringing is I just need some ideas on how to promote my daughter's new business in Pukakau. You can contact her directly to ask questions. Her name is Kiana. She's just opened up a nutrition business in Pukakare. Loaded teas, protein coffees, protein shakes.

All the protein, the loaded teas are all sugar-free. Everything's sugar-free and good for you. Hence why probably I'm not using them because they don't sell beer. But yeah, look, I just need some ideas or give her some ideas. I'm not using them because they don't sell beer but yeah look I just need some ideas or give her some ideas because you guys come up with some wild and wacky and ridiculous things that

seem to keep people attracted and doing things so yeah if you could maybe have a chat with her and give her some incentives, some great ideas some just some ideas on how to maybe have a chat with her and give her some incentives, some great ideas, some, yeah, just some ideas on how to promote your new business.

Oh, okay, this is a first. Yeah. This is a first. What a lovely dad. What a lovely father. Okay, so it's a business selling protein-based drinks. Yeah. Good for you.

Like usually we'd go oh yeah 24 hours of protein or you know we'd go on a marathon of some description. Teas as well.

This is like a live brainstorming system. Yeah. It's all healthy for you. You can buy it and here's an idea.

Do you want an idea? What's that? That's pretty base level. What? Not as in rude but base level in terms of a concept. Yeah. She goes around all the gyms handing out free samples,

signing people up, getting their credit card details, and saying, I'll send you six bottles of this per week, every week. Sign up to an annual plan. Oh, okay. You know, $135. Your protein, your nutrients, they'll be sorted for per week. Every week. Sign up to an annual plan. Oh, like, okay. You know, $135. Your protein, your nutrients,

they'll be sorted for the week. Yeah. Because you're going to your market at the gym, aren't you? You're right, yeah. Okay. Would that work? It might work, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Why doesn't she set a... Oh, let's have a look here. Oh, it looks really good. Good vibes at Pukekohe. It looks... Oh, yeah, they look really good. Good vibes at Pukekohe. It looks, oh yeah, they look really good.

I've always wanted to do, and it's probably, I mean, you could stand outside the gym when people are like on exercise cycles and things

and they're out through the window. You could be like with a sign going free if you come out now. Oh, that's a good idea.

People are like, oh, I'm in the middle of a run, but I can come out for a drink. If she wants to create some attention, maybe, you know, two weeks on a treadmill.

Oh, yeah. Living on a treadmill or something. Yeah. She could do that as a bit of a stunt. Yeah. Again, just brainstorming here. No idea is a bad idea, but I can tell when I do a bad idea because Ben goes, oh, okay.

Yeah, it's all right. Hey, I'm not living two weeks on a treadmill, so that's, you know. It's a commitment. Producer Joel, you want to chuck in here? I've got a good idea here. I reckon she needs to target people at the start of next year who are, like, really trying to make a good year, their good...

Change in their year. Resolution. Year-year resolutions, yeah. Get people, like, after a New Year's Eve night or festival or something, and just go down, go down to R&V, target all those people, and you'll probably get people, like, guilt signing up and guilt buying all their products. Yeah, like, you've caught me at a low point yeah uh catch the

vulnerable people that's the best way to make business isn't it i mean you could also speaking of your like your idea of going you know on a marathon type thing i always thought that song that song a thousand miles you know vanessa calton a thousand miles is pretty much the length of new zealand you could walk with Vanessa Carlton. Oh, so we're going to get Vanessa in there. Get her over there. Get her over there. Obviously a talent fee involved with walking.

Or just walk the length of the... You know, while playing 1,000 miles and, you know, like... It'd be great for us to get Vanessa Carlton on the back of a flatbed truck or something with a piano playing that song over and over. Maybe she could be on the... Yeah, because she was on the back of the truck in the video, wasn't she? Yeah.

So maybe that's another idea. I don't know what the fees are for Vanessa Carlton. She was a great song, great song. So those are some spitballers. Yeah. Yeah, all the very best. Keep us up to speed with how the business goes. Sounds great.

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