Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - The Jono Pryor Podcast! | THE GREATEST HITS

Episode Date: July 9, 2026

Our favourite Jono moments of the year... (00:00) Jono’s Wellington trip turns wholesome when a random family invites him to their dinner (02:40) Jono tests if he’s fit to be a police officer and the results are humbling (07:00) The IRD if after Jono... (10:00) Jono's ongoing battle with a $55 court fee spirals… now the Ministry of Justice is involved (13:30) The lamest injury ever? A neck injury… just from walking (15:40) Overheard in a cafe... a VERY public divorce strategy session (18:30) Jono witnesses a confrontation and refuses to testify as a star witness (21:35) Mystery of “Liam Rankin” — the guy losing EVERYTHING while Jono gets all his calls   Join the Itty Bitty Hitty Committee HERE!Instagram:  @THEHITSBREAKFASTFacebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono, Ben & MeganSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Jono Ben and Megan podcast, thanks to Dilma. Goodness really does taste great. Dilma, making the world a better tea. You know, we went to Wellington on the weekend for the Wheatbrook's triathlon yesterday. It's fun day, fun morning, as it always is. But, you arrived, the flight was delayed a couple of times, and we arrived semi-late. And you two were like, I would just get an Uber or something to the room. Yeah.

I water food into, you know, it was like 8 o'clock or whatever. Yeah, it was dinner time. Yeah. It was dinner time. And so I was like, oh, just go, there was a sort of a restaurant bar area in the floor of the hotel. I was like, okay, I'll just go there. And so I'm sitting there just all of my lonesome, just waiting. And lovely family next to me.

They're from the Cook Islands, and they were having a family celebration of an auntie's birthday. And they must have felt I looked like a bewildered, lost old man. You know, when you see an old man sort of standing in the middle around about, and you're like, oh, the dear fella, he's got loose from the retirement village. You need to take care of them. Yeah, and they're like, come and dine with us. Oh, I know. Had you chatted to them beforehand? I just said hello.

Oh, right. Yeah. Come and dine with us. And I'm like, oh, no, no, I won't interrupt. You know, you do that thing because I didn't want to interrupt their family engagement. Yeah. Of course you did. Oh, geez, we covered some ground.

We covered some ground. I remember like, oh, God, what would we ask this guy ever? You know what I love, though, is they had a couple of family members turn up a little later. And there was no explanation as to who I was. was at the table. And I could tell they were looking at me like, have we got a long-lost white cousin? How was this guy fitting into this? She definitely needs like, okay, this is Jono.

He's our new friend. You know, it's a big table though. So they didn't want to stop and go, hey, meet this guy. And I could tell they're just trying to have long-lost relative. How was he tied into this family reunion? So that was lovely. It was a lovely male with these people. You were so random.

I didn't bully myself into that situation. I just, I actually didn't know you were going to. to eat at the restaurant too. You could have invited us. We didn't know there was another option. Oh, it felt like you guys had made your orders in the Uber. That was fun. You could have done as well if you wanted to.

Ben ordered himself beers on Uber. That's a great. I've never done. I've never done that before. They come in, they just scan your license. They check you're not intoxicated and all that stuff. The Uber driver, yeah, which all makes sense. How does he prove you're not intoxicated?

I guess they're looking at me. I hadn't had any beers before that. Like walk on this line. But then obviously scanning your license and stuff as well. We can just become the laziest species now, can we? We don't have to do anything for ourselves. You probably pay another two bucks. They'll pour it into your mouth.

Come to the room and pour it into your mouth for you. You're right. A little surface feet, yeah, yeah. I'll do that. Jack, John O'Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hats. Now, Ben, we were at the netball the other day.

Megan, we were looking for you, actually, when we arrived. We're at the ANZ premiership. We've had a bit of a check-at history, all three of us of all, you know. Turning up together. To be up together. To be honest, you haven't had a check at history. It's been on me. And Megan's done some last minute.

Oh, things have, you know. Excuse me. I've done a couple by myself while you guys were on holiday. Yeah, listen, I feel on the core issue when it becomes to the shambles at the netball. I forgot it was on one time. I haven't lived that down. So we're all, yeah, we all love it. We're there, A&Z Premiership.

It's so great. And head along and we do a little half, three quarter time activity out there. And all three of us were doing it on Saturday. It's only taking us half the season for all three of us to turn up. We arrived and someone's like, oh, Megan was here, but I don't know where she's gone. And we're like, oh, great play Megan, arriving, then leaving. No, I was up and I actually saw you guys when you arrived because I was up in the stands looking down on you. I said to our promo guy, Wyatt, I was like, where are the boys?

And they were like, not here yet. Anyway. So I beat you. I feel this is a very passive aggressive conversation amongst the three of us. started it. But we were just hanging out, watching the netball, and then a police officer came up to us. And he was like, hey, do you guys want to come and look at our activation? And they have a thing at the netball of the police where you can see if you'd be fit enough

to become a functioning police officer, or at least make it to police college. Yeah, well, some of the things. I don't think this is all of the things. It's a full-on, like, fitness test, right? Yeah, I wouldn't say full-on, but it was like they had a... I think they do that. No. Oh, the actual thing.

I don't think you can do these two things. You're going to get straight into the clubs. They're like, first question is a moral one. Would you accept money from an organised criminal? And I said how much? Apparently that was the wrong answer. Second one was a physical test. So they had like a jumping stick.

You know when you see like the NFL combine and things and all the athletes like jumping as high as they can and whacking the stick? Yeah. And I did relatively okay at that. And after the jumping one, I'm like, maybe I'm built for the police. Apart for the fact I'd probably be a corrupt cop by morning tea, I would be built for the police.

And then they're like, you need to go over and do the gripper test. See what, you did one jump that was okay. You're like, maybe I could be in the police. 100%. Yeah, like your track record of not speeding tickets, fines. Yeah, until they ask you guys questions, have you ever been arrested or had a court summons? And you both have to say, no.

I'm not claiming I'd be any good. I'm not confident at all. one who's getting all cocky about the police. I'm not brave. That's probably part of it. You'd be like a member of the public you go over to the house. I think there's an armatured, you'd be like, well, can you just go and get? I'll wait out here in the car.

Yeah, let me know how it'll go. Text me when you're done. So then they're like, oh, now you've done the jump one. We need to send you over to the gripper test. I'm like, well, I've been called a giant gripper for many years, so I'll be good at this. And it was like one of those things that you do with one hand and you're having to pull as hard as you can. And she's like, you need to get over 120 to qualify to... I feel like you'd be great at that.

I would thought my forearm strength would be right up there, Megan. All the workout these forearms get, push-ups, etc. And then I was like going as hard as I could. And she's like, oh, she was really... The disappointment in the constable's eyes. She's like, I've never seen anyone get so low on this test. And there's like, like, seven-year-old girls and boys. You're going to go.

And I'm just going to go. She's like, use your core. I'm like, I'm using my core. Her veins are popping out of my neck. And she was like, oh, unfortunately. She's like, oh, you'd get in potentially at the very, like, low end if we were desperate. If the police were really desperate, we might consider you. What do you need, like, a hard grip for?

I got the grip of a bloody arthritic 90-year-old. So, yeah, no, not made for the police, guys. It's not going to happen, unfortunately. John O'Benn and Megan The podcast The Hits We found a lot of the rings It's really cool to know

There's more A lot of the Rings and movies being made a couple more including one by US talk show host Stephen Colbert He's writing one with his son As well Sir Peter Jackson's still involved

And hopefully all going One will be filmed in New Zealand That's cool Trump got his job cancelled didn't he Donald Trump's Stephen Colbert Basically That's right

Yeah It felt like Yeah he said that He's done in a video He's like I wrote the script Or this idea for a movie I was like

I never have time to write it properly and he was like, oh, all of a sudden. I've got time on my hands. I've got some time somehow. So, yeah, it's cool. Listen, the bloody inland revenue are after me again, man. Again, you're not paying your taxes? Well, I thought I had.

But they think otherwise. They're thinking otherwise. So, yeah, I've got a 1115 AM phone meeting with the inland revenue today. That's always going to be fun. I'm pretty sure I did. Now, this leads me on to, so we have to have a meeting with, you know, the money people, the accountant who's like how have you ended up in this position sometimes you can pay it in the wrong year uh that i've done that before you can put it oh so they've got the yeah and i'm like well

you know what it is for just put it back in there like it's in your account it's like i put something in there and i'm like but i paid and they're like oh what happened on that occasion were they they had to move it across but i still get you get fees for whatever it is because you still get fined because it wasn't yeah i think i might have done that put it i put it in there yeah you've got the money yeah anyway so talking to uh the accountant And it was about a half an hour conversation, all right? And they, you know, all sorts of stuff. Market volatility, you know, floating rates.

I was just, and I sit there and I politely smile and nod. Right. And I get to the end of this meeting. We're walking out. My wife, Jennifer's like, you didn't understand a word of what was just said in that meeting, did you? And I didn't. I just sat there like a smiling golden retriever, nodding politely. And one of these things isn't at, I don't think I'm ever going to be good at.

You know, you reach a point where, like, I can't be bothered being good at that. Well, yeah, that's a lot of it. Like, I feel like sometimes you're like, if you really wanted to, you could. But you obviously don't want to. No, I don't want to. And it's probably putting a lot of mental load on Jen, my wife. She's like, she literally said, Joe, she's like, I can never die. I can never die.

The house, the lights will be off. There'll be no food in the fridge. So, yeah, that's what I'm dealing with at the moment. Tax woes. Well, yeah. You think you paid it or are you not sure? Pretty sure. I'm pretty sure.

Like, if I was to give you a percentage, 82% confident that it's in there somewhere. I just can't find, I can't find it. Okay, you're going to have to get a bit of a story before whatever time this morning. Oh, well, yeah, we'll rehearse. I don't know. Take my word, I'm good for it. You know, let me have a word to it. What can I say?

So it's your problem now. And they'll be like, no, it's not. No, it's, I've paid it. Like, how much tax are you guys getting? Just let this one slide. Yeah. They're not really, they're not really a let it slide. No, they're not, unfortunately.

I found that out before. But yeah, so adulthood, it's just sort of sitting in rooms and for me, pretending to you know what other people are talking about, nodding your head politely. John O'Bin and Megan, the podcast, the hits. Thank you for hanging out with us. Now, I really want to keep this recap quick for you, Megan, because I know there's nothing more excruciating

than someone talking about an issue they're dealing with and you have zero interest or care for it. Long story. I've had it multiple times, to be honest, I don't. I don't care. You can go and get a cup of tea if you want. I'll be part of the recap. But listen, I said a goal this year not to get any parking tickets or infringements through the year of 2026.

That was going to be turning over a new leaf. Have you got one? Yes, but the story is it's backdated. So it's not from this year. Okay. November 25. Okay. Now I receive a letter at home from the courts telling me that there's a speeding infringement,

plus we've chucked on top $55 of court costs. and I haven't seen, I have never seen any of these fringes or tickets been sent. My eyes have never seen them. They haven't come across my desk. Now, I went back to the courts I was like, oh listen, happy to pay the 80. Fair enough. But first I've heard of it. How about we wipe the 55 court costs? Where do we go to from here is what he said.

Where do we go? And she came back and she said, nothing I can do. It's reached the court and you just got to pay the fine. I was like, well, I reckon you can wipe the court costs. Where do we go to from here? And then all she did was copy and paste her original email and send that back to me on how to pay the fine. So what are we talking? How much is this? 55 total.

55 total. So really, I mean, yeah, it's $55, but really for the amount of back and forward you're doing. Oh, that's what my wife says. She's like the amount of resource, time you've wasted on this, and resource you've made them waste on it. It's well exceeded $55. Much like I exceeded the speed limit. But did you check the malware here because your car is registered to work?

Who knows why? Purely to hide the fines from his wife. Unless I would get into Samantha. But did you actually check? Because you said it hasn't come across. I have checked multiple times. Yeah, and I've asked reception and everything. There's nothing.

And they usually give you three. I'm a veteran of receiving these. You get three reminders before it hits the courts. Right. But then obviously the courts have my home address. So then they set the letter to my home address and it was the first I've heard of it. Rady, righty, right. So the point being, I've reached a stalemate with the courts.

Now the Ministry of Justice have got involved. And they've made me. Well, who got them involved? You? They didn't just go, we can help out on this one. You pulled them into it. Yeah. Oh my God, you're wasting so many people's time.

Just paid $55. I can imagine there's a lot of sighing going on. Anyway, they sent me a 7-8B form that I had to print, fill out, write all the details, scan, and send back to them. No, you gave up. No, damn no. I'm fighting the good fight. This is going to be a win for the little people.

No, it's a win for you. No one else. I did that last night. 45 minutes it took me. And I've set it back. It's principal, Ben. I don't know if I'm, like, proud of you or embarrassed for you. Be proud.

Be proud. But in your defence, $55 hasn't gone to the court. It's just gone through the court. So someone's had to send a letter. Why is it $55 to send the letter? Oh, you're telling me, mate. You're telling me. But I am starting to feel like one of those crazy people

that dangles propaganda signs out their front fence with cable ties tied around them, you know? Start to feel like that a bit. Well, you don't sign up to any loyalty programs because you're scared that they'll get your details. Don't want to be tracked. Not even more worse. Didn't it be tracked?

You, John O'Ben and Megan The podcast The hits Welcome. Welcome to Winter Now, I know we talk about You know, lame injuries on this show We've done it in the past as well But I think I might take out the trophy

For the lamest one Last Thursday, I was just walking I was walking from here To our car park Across the road, it's two blocks Did you have a fall? No, I just walked and I pulled my neck Walking, you don't even walk with your neck.

Did you turn around suddenly? No. I know, you're groaning now. So they're like, how do you... What happened? You're just walking and you're like, ow. Yeah, I was like, tweaked it and I was like, oh, that's no good. And then it just got increasingly worse and worse over the day, you know,

to the point where you're lying in the middle of, you know, sort of like you're paralyzed and bed. So then I had to go to Physio the following day and it's going to be, oh, we're going to have to lodge this, if you want to, you know, get ACC to pay for it. You can pay for it in full or... You can get government assistance. And ACC, wonderful. Like, you don't get this in many areas of the world, ACC, do you? No.

So he's like, what happened? And I was like, well, I was just walking, bro. Just like, walk. And he's like, and you pulled your neck? Walking? I was like, yeah. He's like, okay, sent that one off to ACC. Did someone hot walk past or anything?

No. No, there was no neck turning at all, just full. Was there like a, like, was uneven in the road or something? Did you step down? No, I didn't step down. I know for you sometimes that can be a bit hard on your weak bladder too, can't it? But that's how I hurt my hip. I step down the curb.

Yeah. Even for the physia, I mean, I know, and they'll be the first people not to try and make false claims. But they'll be like, can we just sex us up a little? A little. You're playing with some sort of activity. We do something? Someone walk past and I turn, you know. Were you walking faster than usual?

Just normal pain. I know, I know. No one's more embarrassed and ashamed by this than me. Don't you worry about that. But, yeah, I feel like I'm scared to sneeze now. I don't know what's going to happen if I do a powerful sneeze or something. Put my spine out. So, yeah, I don't know.

You can text 4487 if you've made a lame a Claim, but I think you're going to be struggling to beat that one this morning. No, no. I've got to go back for my second physio. I was going to say, is it better? It's getting there. It's getting there. We're working through it.

Next week you're going to be like, he's had a fall. The poor guy. Yeah, that sounds like it. Yeah. John O'Benn and Megan The podcast The hits Went to a cafe yesterday

And a lot of people There's a range of different conversations You know just going on at cafes People there for various reasons You got some solos You've got some group meetings situations It's a good place for a meeting a cafe writer Yeah

And then I was kind of sat at a table or so away From two ladies who were having a chat And I didn't have headphones or anything So I was just tapping away on my phone Trying to concentrate on something but I could not help but listen, Ben. You try and turn your ears off, but your ears, they don't turn off, didn't they? You just...

You love a bit of gossip, you do. And it's even better when you don't know anyone involved, but it was really, it was no better drama than real-life drama. That's what they say. But from what I gather, this lady A was planning on divorcing her husband. Right. Okay, she's talking to her friend. I'm gathering though of friends, but she also was in the area of legal expertise.

So she was giving her blow-by-blow advice of what she needs to do to protect herself. Heading into the divorce proceedings. And I was like, this really should be in a meeting room. You should not be having this conversation right now because I'm going to talk about all the radio. Oh, no, yeah, all the people would be sitting next to it. Not only did you listen, but now you were talking about it on the radio. Yeah, I felt like because I was trying to tap away on my phone, like a court reporter, you know, like writing down stuff, listening to the information.

but, you know, juicy goss, hopefully it comes off okay. She wasn't like bad-mouthing the husband or anything. I don't know what the back story? I almost turned to say, what did he do? Why you didn't even come? Very invested in the situation. You find that in public places, though, don't you? You can kind of just stare.

Well, maybe it's just me. Yeah, you're just. I like people. I like putting headphones in and stuff, you know? And ignoring, yeah. But you're like just a smile and looking at people. Especially when you're out, when you're without a device, you feel like you don't have trousers on, so you don't know what to do.

where your eyes need to go. Yeah. Because looking at the ground looks... Yeah. You look like you're mourning someone. Yeah. She won't look engaged? Yeah.

Well, yeah. How can you stare at someone before it starts to get uncomfortable, you think? Well, look, there's people out there through the window right now. I'll give them a stare. Okay, these two are having a conversation. Oh, there's a lady already looking. Yeah, she's waving. She took a little dance back to us.

There you go. That was two seconds before I got weird. She was like, they're looking, they're looking, and she did a little dance back directly. Yeah. She didn't know what else to do. She didn't know. We're like, we'll get into the lift now going, did I just do a dance?

Why did I do a dance? I don't know what else to do. Because I made it weird staring. Yeah, see, that's how quick it is. So you think about when you're looking at someone for longer than that. They'll start dancing in five seconds, mate, just to distract. John O'Bin and Megan. The podcast.

The hits. I took actually a page out of the Ben Boy's playbook yesterday. I had to wait for my daughter, and I was like, oh, Ben always talks about going to a cafe with his laptop. You know, and getting stuff done. Yeah. So I did that. I went to them all, sat in a cafe

who's charging away at the laptop. How do you find too? Because the laptop takes up quite a lot of real estate on your small cafe table. Then they come along with your drinks. Then if you order some food, you're really juggling with the balance of that. It can't be a little bit of a juggle,

but yeah, you make it work, you get through it. Anyway, that's a side. That was a side. I just wanted to ask the expert on the cafe laptop work. But then opposite me was, another lady she was having a coffee and then two young kids walked past her on their way to

the counter. Now one of their bags accidentally knocked the empty chair on her table, thus sort of jolting the table, rattling the contents of the table. Stuff spill and stuff or not? Just, I mean not a wild amount, you know, just sort of

into a saucer. Could have been worse. And then they walked off but not on her watch. Oh no. Not on her watch. Oh no. Excuse. me, they turned around and you know when someone calls out, excuse me, you don't know if they're talking to you, they had that

confused. Well, they probably had no idea if a bag hitter, you wouldn't feel it necessarily. She's like, you've just knocked my table. And I would have thought you would have apologised. And they were like, oh, said exactly what you said. I'm so sorry, I didn't realize. She's like, you knocked it with your bag. And they said, did we? And she's like, you did.

And then she turns to me. It looks me dead in the eyes. And goes, he saw it. Were you looking up at this state? Did she see you looking? If you were looking at your laptop, locked in zone in, you wouldn't have been involved in this. But you would have been like, oh, what's going on there?

I saw it. I saw it. I saw everything. Because you're nosy. She was wanting me to be a star witness in this trial. And I said, I didn't see anything. She looked at me and she's like, the look of betrayal. I didn't want to be, it was Thursday afternoon.

I couldn't be bothered involved. That's not what I think. thought you were going to say. No, I was just like, oh, I didn't see anything, sorry. Well, you'd just diffuse, be like, oh, yeah, it was just a little knock. It was, you know, no harm, no foul. No, I tried just to, yeah, I didn't want to get, I didn't want to get Motosin. And she was like, you were meant to come in here and testify against a war criminal.

You dirtied me. You're poking the bear, though. And you're, yeah. Because those kids were walked off and you were sitting. And now you're stuck with it, the wrath of. You chose the wrong person in that. Yeah, but that's 100%. You're right.

I back the wrong team. For awkward reasons other than they're just going to be in your vicinity. Yeah. Then I was locked into my laptop and I could feel eyes. I could feel. She just wanted to catch my eye and be like, anyway. Do you jump on the horse that's chill or do you jump in the horse that's like bucking around? You jump on the bucking one, don't you?

Jump on the bucking. So, yeah, I won't go back there. John O'Benn and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Michelin Stars, that were restaurants we have in New Zealand now, as official Michelin Star Restaurants, as a big ceremony went on last night, which was very cool.

I went past the Conference Centre and it looked all fancy, was all done up. 14 restaurants around the country. And one of them in Queensland getting two stars. Two Michelin Stars. And we've mentioned multiple times. It's actually the Michelin Tire Company started this many years ago. And on stage, they've got a big giant, inflatable Michelin Man.

Ben Vesk, and he's like, that is my dream gig. I know, I was just like, everyone's like, look at that thing, just waving the whole time. I'm like, I'd love to be that. It's so weird that it's such a prestigious, like it's the highest honour. And then you've got the Michelin Man.

It's a blow-up costume. It's one of my wheelhouse. It's great. And always just got a big smiley face. He's doing big thumbs up to everyone, and he's buddy happy. How long was that dude, or girl, standing up there? Yeah, have been costume

in costumes too, Megan? I'm sorry. They don't want to be. Don't just assume a gender a costume is... I'm sorry. I just assumed when they see Michelin man,

but it could be a woman underneath. The costume community very welcoming. Yes, exactly. Racism is. I'm so sorry. Now, with work,

I think our office, when we go away for like, you know, trips for work to Wellington or Pami or whatever, it goes through like a corporate travel place. I assume. Yeah, it does.

They create their itinerary and stuff. So they look after the admin, which is fantastic, and they do a bang-up job. But I think somewhere along the line in The Matrix, my number, my phone number has been assigned to someone called Liam Rankin. And over the last month and a half, two months, I keep getting phone calls and messages for Liam Rankin. So I'm using this platform to try and pass these messages on to Liam. Because they clearly can't get hold of the poor fella. I don't know, Liam. But what I do know about him is he's incredible.

forgetful. Have you searched? There's no Liam Rankin in this building. Have you searched? Of course not. No. Have you gone back to the travel company

and gone, hey, just so yeah. I've told everyone who's called. I'm like, I'm not Liam Rankin. His number must be under in my thing. But I got a call for me in New Zealand saying, oh, good-day Liam. I said, oh, it's not Liam. And she's like, oh, you left your AirPods on the plane.

We found your AirPods. I said, I'm sorry, this is not my number. And she's like, okay, well, we'll correct that in the database. Then I got another phone call from a hotel. That was about a week and a half later saying, Gday, Mr. Rankin, we found your laptop charger. Oh.

You left your laptop charger in the room. There's a shambles of an operation. He's just dropping breadcrumbs. Yeah, and then I got a text yesterday when we were in a meeting. I said, Mr. Rankin, just confirming your booking at the hotel restaurant. Tonight for 7.30, so I can't wait to see what he's left behind at the restaurant. whether it's wallet or keys or something so if anyone does know Liam

can you please pass on that in New Zealand's got his air pods Richard Rogers has got his lap tower chop charger cable and hopefully he didn't forget his booking last night at the restaurant I don't think I've ever had so many phone calls from establishments as Liam has

no he must be a big player in the domestic travel business game and lost property game