Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - The Only Fans School Teacher...

Episode Date: May 30, 2024

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Today on the Wild Wild Web, what happens when your primary school teacher is filming her only fan's content in the classroom? Welcome to the untamed realm of the world's wide web. A swirling vortex of weirdness, bullying, and self-obsessed social media posts. In this digital jungle, Jono and Ben are your fearless guides. Leading you through the wildest parts of the wild, wild web. This is the wild, wild web. Hello. Kia ora. Welcome. Ahaya gozaimasu.

Hola. Namaste. It's a pleasure to have you on the wild, wild web, wherever you are in this wild, wild world that we live in. It is, some would say, quite wild at the moment. It definitely is wild. It just gets wilder. I mean, we've just been watching some footage of Donald Trump getting arrested.

So there you go. That's been on the internet today. Well, convicted. Convicted. Oh, sorry, no. Convicted felon. Convicted on all 31 charges of, what, paying off Stormy Daniels, the adult film star

who alleged that they had, well, not alleged not alleged, they must have had an intimate relationship because he's been found guilty. And now a convicted felon is running for president. Well it sounds like he'll still be able to, right? There's three criteria we're just reading up. That you have to be born in America, you have to be over 35 and you have to have lived there for more than 14 years to run for president. Tick, tick, tick. So it's interesting that they say 35, but it feels like the memo's probably like 75 or 85.

It feels like, you know, they've got a few more. They could have get some younger people, but anyway, there's two options. I've been 35. I wouldn't trust myself to run America at age 35. I may have 42 now, I still wouldn't trust myself. Okay, no. Well, it depends on the person really

it does yeah there are like there's some 20 year olds where you're like they are they could be running 75

like your daughter Indy she's an 82 year old in a lovey old zoo boarding yeah some people are very sensible yeah

you just yeah the trust is already there you know whereas you wouldn't probably yeah she's like I'm gonna make

I was saying yesterday she was like I'm gonna make some brownies pick this up and just leave it to it she makes it turns off the oven and is like,

cool, delicious. You know, I don't have to do one thing. Wham, bam, bam, delicious. Whereas my mum would have been like, what's the oven? Have you done this thing? She would have been so worried about.

You're right, there's some people you can trust. Yeah, and clearly they can't trust Trump. So what, so can he do prison time? Prison time is on the cards, but it's unlikely.

So they're all saying he'll probably get some sort of home detention, but his home is a Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida. Oh, his home could be the White House. His home is beautiful. He could have an ankle bracelet at the White House. And then he'll have a probation officer. So all that means is every time he wants to leave the country or leave the state,

he has to give permission, which he'll most likely get. So not much will change. He can still run. He can still leave the country. Paying off an adult film star probably seems at the lighter end of the scale of crimes. You wouldn't go behind bars for that, surely. I don't know.

I feel a little ignorant, but there must be a whole lot more than that, right? Yeah, there's 30-something charges. So it can't be like you paid her off. You paid her off. 32 times. Yeah, there's got to be a whole lot more. There's falsifying documents in there, which is fraud or something. Right, to try and cover up payments.

Yeah, right. I feel like that's the one that gets the most headlines because of the lady associated. You know, whereas probably there's a whole lot more other stuff, I'm guessing. Yeah, well, he's been guilty, convicted of all of them. So there we go.

Guilty of spray tanning, I think, was another one. I think one of the charges, I think. I thought when he came out and did a speech, I thought, oh my God, he's actually like laid off the spray tan. But then you look at images of him in court and you're like, oh no, it's still there. He still had time for a tanage before his case.

I saw a great social post from a movie website, well, social media account they follow. They said the actor Donald Trump from Home Alone 2, Lost in New York, has been convicted of. It's such a promising movie career. Oh my God. It's so funny. Isn't it crazy that America could have a convicted felon as president?

Well, not really. It's the US, isn't it crazy that America could have a convicted felon as president? Well, not really. It's the US, isn't it? Nothing really surprises me anymore, unfortunately. I feel like we're a bit numb to it. They've already had him. That's crazy. This will just, you know, the people who support him, it'll just make them more passionate.

People who didn't support him. It just kind of everything just makes them more of a martyr, right? Interesting times. Interesting times there. Interesting times around the world, isn't it? Well, we're going to stick with America, actually. Now, this story just broke yesterday. An elementary school teacher who's also on OnlyFans,

and that's fine. If you want to be on OnlyFans, that's your decision. No judgment from us. But she was filming her content in school in the classrooms, and I guess that's where the bone of contention comes in and This is what one of the local priests had to say outside of the primary school or elementary school as we should say But now we got a teacher in the classroom on school hours Stripping down butt naked bending over and showing everything on

the video and all you could see was cellulite hanging in pubic hair. This is a disgrace and a shame. There you go. Wait, is he, what's the disgrace that she's got cellulite and pubic hair? Well I mean he's like maybe she should have been maintaining and she's doing it in the classroom. It sounded like the pubic hair and the cellulite was a disgrace also lot That it was And he might have had to Review it a couple of times And go There's more pubic hair Yeah

I just like the way He says pubic hair Pubic hair Pubic hair Say it loud And pubic hair Sometimes I look on this desk And I'm like

Are these Pubes Yeah Surely they wouldn't be Do you know Every single studio I've ever been in It always seems like

These pubes on the desk Yeah Just little curly ones. They're not mine. No, you said you're not a pubic hair in your household. In your whole household. It feels like we know a lot. I feel a little uncomfortable that you keep bringing that up, John.

She told me. I felt like you were casting blame over my way. I don't even go over that side of the desk. It's closer to bed. One of the best things Megan told us. I feel weird that we know that. I know Andrew as well was like guessing.

Yeah, I don't know why I told you about him. That's fine. We were talking about pubes in the bar. That must take a lot of maintenance. Yeah, but you know,

you gotta look after. I go to, someone else does it, I get laser. Oh yeah. How is, doesn't laser, is that permanent?

For legs and armpits and things? Until like semi, unless you have like a dramatic hormone change. So like if you got pregnant or something, it might change. It might kind of grow back. Sizzle the follicle. Yeah. To oblivion. Yeah, I think so.

Just one treatment will get rid of them. It takes a few. Right. Because you'd get some hairs sometime and others another time, you know? Yeah, I see. I see. Yeah. Expensive?

Reasonably. But it's like a semi-permanent fix, you know? Yeah. We'll take a quick break from whatever this is and be back shortly. Thank you and welcome back. Saw yesterday tattoo removal on Instagram, which was, felt like the advancements in that game have changed. It was like getting rid of probably, I'd say, the size of a 20 cent coin, if you can remember the size of those. And a chunk just going over it once and it was disappearing.

Yeah, it seemed like, I feel like that, well, maybe it has advanced. You've done it. Yeah, it's not fun. It's not a fun thing. What did you get removed? I had a bird that I didn't like on my arm. I really not liked it. And had it multiple sessions over a year, like a good year and a half.

And yeah, geez, it hurts. It hurts way more than getting a tattoo. Why the bird? I just didn't like it. I didn't like it. I got in my head about it and I was like, I'm going to get rid of it. And I've got it covered up now. But I don't think that ever fully goes away though.

You know, like I don't think you can entirely get rid of it. You wouldn't know it was there though because you covered it up nicely. I feel like the advancements in laser have come a long way. Because even when I initially got... Because I had laser before I was pregnant with my two kids. And that hurt so much more. It was like a hot rubber band flicking on your bits. Whereas now, the lasers are better and they blast you with a cold breeze.

Soon you'll be able to take a pill. Boom. All your pubes will be gone. I know, but how do you control, like, not my eyebrows, not the hair on my head? Oh, do it. Some nerds will sort that out for you, mate. Oh, yeah. And same with tattoos.

I reckon tattoo removal will be... But then it's amazing that you can't take a pill. Hair on your head. Well, I know. I would love some great advancements in that area too not that there's anything wrong

not that there is anything wrong with not having hair on your head I'd dream for that if I could take a pill imagine if I took a pill today and I turned up

on Tuesday after a long weekend you're like oh he's got like a bloody do you know what I would be like you do you boo

I don't think I'd tease you about it would you bring it up I would definitely bring it up okay I've left on Friday I've returned with a full wig I've gone to the wig shop and I haven't think I'd tease you about it. Would you bring it up? I would definitely bring it up. Okay, I've left on Friday. I've returned with a full wig. I've gone to the wig shop, and I haven't told anyone. It's definitely noticeable.

Well, of course it is. But then if that was what you wanted to do, then you're like, oh, cool. I like to think I'm a better person than to tease you. No, but you're not. You're not. Because we're radio hosts, and I know that wig would bring us months of content but you probably it's probably in some ways

it's probably quite good to front foot it I imagine yeah you know you probably come in and go alright so I got this thing over the weekend

you take your hat off and go oh wow you know we'd have some things and then you'd be fine rather than going is he? is he? what?

you know like imagine those and as you say Megan there's nothing wrong either way you want to go but if that's your thing. I know a couple of people, well, I think they've got wigs.

Right. But you don't know really how to approach that, do you? You're not going to bring it up with them. Yeah. No. I don't know. Just let them do their thing. Yeah.

If I had a wig, you'd be on constant high alert levels, wouldn't you? Well, I think nowadays the ones that are real. They're glows very strong. Yeah, I think they're all good. I think Israel Dagg, you know, he's had some hair transplant and stuff like that. He's got a company. He's got a company, yeah. He's got a company, yeah.

And he's like, yeah, and his looks amazing. He's come to you for like Spond, like 20% off Jono's hair plus. Would you want this face representing your business, Megan? Influencing your business? Yeah, I would have thought days like, jeez, we had a real stormy day on Tuesday.

That would have been not ideal wig conditions back in the day. Yeah, but I'm guessing it works, right? I remember I went to a kid's party. There's a guy there.

I didn't know he had one because I wasn't really paying attention, but he was entertaining the kids and then bent down and it got caught on the branch of the tree and it was dangling there

Did he not know? No he noticed and he kind of got it and then had to put it back on in a rush and it was all obviously a bit off the centre line But why is that embarrassing? Well I don't know it's become a thing I guess

it's all how you like you, if you front foot it. If you're confident in it, you're like, oh, no, damn, this is it. I'm wearing a wig. I'm wearing a wig because I don't want to be bald then. Also, but like what's wrong with being bald? Like I know we tease you, but it's just for fun. But like there is so many. If I wasn't bald, I wouldn't have a career.

Yeah, neither. I've worked with some couple of bald dudes. You and I as well, yeah. You've thrived off bald guys for decades I have decide to get

you know whatever to their body and you know some people are really honest about their front foot and they're like yeah I had this done

and it doesn't matter I guess it depends on the person I appreciate that I always feel bad like because there's so many companies now and so many people

getting wigs and transplants it's like that's because we bullied them yeah we told them it wasn't good enough. It's all about how you own it, isn't it? I like the people who just fully own their plastic surgery and Botox.

Yeah. They're like, yeah, I've got some new lips. Yeah. What about it? Yeah. If it makes you feel better, go do it. Whatever, you know. If it's not hurting anyone, then just do it.

Okay. Have you seen that Ashley Madison doco on Netflix? Yes. I watched a little bit of that the other night. There was their slogan. It was like, life's short, have an affair. Life's short, have an affair. That's a great slogan.

It was kind of along those lines. It was kind of like, hey, it's short. You know, don't live to regret these things. Go on. Have an affair, life's short. Ashley Martin, the hair place, got a bit of confusion there too, didn't they? Oh, yeah.

A lot of those clients were like, dear God, are they going to release the client list? That would be a great thing and be like, you're on that list. And it's like, oh my God, I signed up thinking it was Ashley Martin. Oh my God, my bad. But I ended up sticking my penis into people

that weren't my wife. They told me it would make my hair grow back. Hair transplant. This is an interesting way. I was like, oh, this is the technology. I guess it's medicine. Scientists. Oh, I was like, oh, this is the technology. I guess it's medicine. Scientists. Oh, wow, I just see her.

Who am I to argue with science? They told me it would work, babe. I'm sorry. Yeah, no, that's crazy. Is that still going, that website? The affair website? I think it is. It is?

I don't know. Like, I didn't get all the way through the doco, so I don't know how it kind of ended. Was it on Netflix? Yeah, it's on Netflix. One of the top. That would have ended probably in a lot of book. Or Amazon?

Yeah. There's one on Netflix. Oh, it's there. Yeah, so maybe there's another one on Amazon. Ashmedicine.com. Pretty safe to tell you how. Married but feeling unfulfilled. Yeah, I know.

Still going. Still going. Wow. They had a lot more male clientele than female clientele, I think was the general thing as well Yeah and I think that was kind of an issue for them Weren't they paying some females in the end? Yeah

There was a whole lot going on So it was just like a prostitution website Pretty much I think Like details got kind of leaked and stuff as well That huge data leak Yeah Someone hacked into that But yeah interesting

I guess I tell you what If you were going to have an affair You wouldn't be registering your photo and details on a website would you well that's what

you had to do yeah I guess it was yeah it was like a dating profile it was meant to be off the grid

yeah but then a lot of people as well part of the LGBTQ community which is fine but like they were also married

and you know homosexual heterosexual relationships they got outed in the league as well yeah

people hack into that just ruined a whole lot of people's lives yeah yeah the internet

really got us all by the short and curlies isn't it just the details we've put in

there but everything everything about your life is on the internet

nothing unless you've just avoided going onto the internet yeah you're right we've just avoided going onto the internet. Yeah, you're right. We're all very vulnerable. Do you get those things on Google, like when you're on Google sometimes,

and it's like, this password has been identified in these data breaches, and it's like all these websites, and you're like, it's like, would you like to change your password? And you're like, oh. I can't be bothered. You're like, oh my God, everyone has my password. Yeah. That's the thing. How many people have your password? And You're like, oh my God, everyone has my password. Yeah. That's the thing.

How many people have your password? And I'm like, which password? I've got so many now. Which one have you got? You put your password into, for argument's sake, ASOS. Okay? And they've got all your credit card details. Yeah.

How many employees at ASOS or whoever runs that website for them if they contract the website out have access to that? And, like, is that where all the data breach come from? Like, people who are, you know, disgruntled and then they're like, ah, here's everyone's information. Exactly. Oh, yeah. Who's got access to all this information?

You're pissed off with the company, you grab everyone's data and you sell it on the dark web. Not that I've never done that. Sounds like you've hatched a plan. Seems pretty well thought out. You've got the bullet points there. But you're right. The amount of times you enter your credit,

it's pretty much unavoidable to not get stuff without entering your credit. I always think about never follow through on having just an internet-only credit card. We're like a tiny balance. Oh, yeah. That's probably a good idea. Yeah. I had mine the other day. I woke up in the morning and there was like two texts

because the bank sometimes texts you and it was like, here's your code of these are your purchases. So two things overnight. Oh, yeah. That wasn't mine, like quite massive purchases. And they hadn't gone through

because I hadn't texted back the thing. But then because the number, if someone's got your number, you've kind of got to go, I guess I've got to cancel the card and send out a new one. So did they have your phone number as well for the two-step? No. No, they didn't.

So the two-step came through. Yeah, the two-step came to me and I hadn't entered the details back in for these things to go through. But because someone had obviously got the account number, then you have to go, oh, get a new account. I always I always bitch and moan about two step

but it's probably it is actually really handy you know oh that's actually really quite handy I got an email or a text from Facebook the other day

being like oh this is your two step to log in I'm like that wasn't me yeah so actually it's probably quite a good

yeah good tool good tool if you don't know what we're talking about please set that up yeah boy oh boy I know we say this every time but we have covered some ground today probably quite a good tool. If you don't know what we're talking about, please set that up. Boy, I know we say this every time, but we have covered some ground today, guys.

We have. Why do we always forget where we started? We covered the Trump trial. We covered the Trump trial, then we kicked into pubic hair. Then we got into laser removal. Then we got into Botox. Pubic hair. Then we got into tattoo removal.

We've kind of ended up With scams And two simple Indications We started dirty and we got very wholesome So there you go That's the Wild Wild Web for another Episode