Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - The showroom sh*tter

Episode Date: March 18, 2024

Show Highlights: Megans lawn moving injury. Do you want to run in the mascot race!? Jonos embarrassing encounter! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. Okay, Middleton spotted for the first time in public in two months yesterday, Megan. Was she who by? Paparazzi? Was it her whole body? It wasn't like an AI version of her. Was it Photoshop? No, it wasn't Photoshop. It was her out and about as well. Was she talking to people? There's meant to be a big palace announcement wasn't there? Well that was the rumours

on Twitter but maybe it's not legit Is it? It was to Taylor, it was in our WhatsApp chat group, came in and said someone I know in the know and I'm thinking firstly, red flag, who does she know in the know in the royal palace? Come in here Taylor with her theory that there's some sort of colostomy bag

situation and they're just trying to respect her privacy around a colostomy. Well, she was out in public yesterday, apparently, in Spotted. So I don't know if that's... Is there a bag attached to her? I don't know. You can have it under your clothes, right? Yeah.

No, so there's this Instagram person I follow. So not in my friend group, but it's like I know her. And everything she says is true, right? And she's come out saying that from four reliable inside sources is saying that this is what's happened. She's had surgery for her bowels. It's obviously kind of very, like it's embarrassing to have a bag outside you. And that's why everyone's keeping a low profile in the Royal Palace,

just don't want to expose that side of her. She was watching her kids play sport yesterday out and about in the community. Turns out Prince Andrew's not the only shitbag in the Royal family. Very true. Well, I hope that's the case. And I think I even said on the message last night, I'm glad we didn't let those wild Prince William affair rumours

get away with us. We love wilding in, don't we? We love Rose Hanbury. She did nothing wrong. What? But no one actually knows. The only people who actually know are the people in the family.

True, true. So just tell us. But they don't have to tell us. Yes, they do. That's the thing. That's their business. Now, apparently you're bowed up about something yesterday, Jono.

Well, yeah. Actually, you stay in here because this brought Taylor a lot of joy. We're filming. She's already laughing. So, being yesterday, we were filming, because we're doing a 24-hour marathon with How To Dad, Jordan Watson, for KidsCan,

raising money for KidsCan who provide food, lunches, jackets, shoes, and clothing for kids at schools and early childhood centres who can't afford it. Yeah, we're playing handball for 24 hours in a couple of weeks. Actually, you can donate now if you, you know, you can go to kidscanball.org.nz

Yeah, or you can text kids to 933 for an automatic $3 donation This is very wholesome. What have you done? I did nothing I was just being myself, but kids you know, kids hashtag no filter. Yeah. And I was, we were filming with some kids yesterday for a social video for it, Ben.

And I was walking towards this child and he goes to me, have you got cancer? What did he say there? And Taylor was, and I looked around, I was around I was like Please Please Lord let no one else That I know and love Hear that And then I looked behind And the smile on Producer Taylor's face

That was the best day of my life Yeah I've never seen her so happy Look at her Have you got cancer? A little kid I was like Excuse me

Do you have cancer? Yeah No filter the kids No filter Yeah I mean. No filter, yeah. I mean, the world would be a great place if we all had the honesty of children. It'd be a lot more people offended. Maybe a lot more wars would break out if the honesty was around. But I was kind of like, so I want to ask you guys, do I look like I?

What did you say? I said, yeah, I do. Things aren't good. I haven't got long to live. No, I didn't. But do I look like I do. Things aren't good. I haven't got long to live. No, I don't. But do I look like a... Do I? At what stage?

Like in the process do I look like a... I reckon you need to eat more. Yeah. Yeah, because you do give sick vibes because you're scrawny. You need to put more muscle on. Maybe a tan. Maybe a tan. A tan, okay.

Colour your eyebrows in for goodness sake. You need to dye your eyebrows. We might be able to use it to the shows about it Oh jeez Get some donations The Hits The Jono and Ben Podcast It's kind study has revealed

Some of New Zealand's drinking habits And it feels like The smaller towns in New Zealand Are bigger boozers than the city dwellers It seems to be some of the findings that's come through Early text We said we'll just run a text poll 4487 who do you think owns the crown for the biggest drinking?

Dunedin. A lot of texts coming in for Dunedin on 4487. Top three. They're in the top three according to the survey. South Island have taken it out on a large, if you want to take it out. I don't know if this is a prestigious thing or not. It does feel like New Zealanders are drinking less, they say in this, particularly the younger generation, they're saying in the survey as well.

But the younger generation are just a bit more health conscious, right? More sensible. Can we get the results of the MDMA testing in the wastewater? Probably looking up towards, I reckon, looking at parents and going, oh God, you don't want to be like them. I reckon there's a lot of that as well. And all the zero percenters that are out now in the market and the healthy low-carb options as well. I think that side of things is important for young people.

Zero percent doesn't taste like what it says. It doesn't taste bad, but it doesn't taste like wine. It's disappointing. It is. I mean, it's like you're battling through the poor taste of alcohol without the benefits. So the top three places, according to this survey, that is consuming the most amount of alcohol on average.

Megan, you picked the correct place. Number one, I said South Island. Yes, they are taking it out over the two islands, but I picked West Coast of the South Island. Westport. Westport, Queenstown and Dunedin are the top three at the moment, just ahead of Palmerston North as well.

So the biggest North Island town. But I love they've got some drinking spikes coincided with sports matches and public holiday. And the highest consumption recorded in Queenstown was the day the Stallions male strip review gave a one night only performance. The Stallions came to town. And everyone drank out loud as well. So when the Stallions come to town, you know, it's a big night.

Man, I'm gutted. If we were ever to start a male strip review, Ben, I would have loved the name the Stallions. But yeah, the Stallions, you definitely, you've got to be like confident in your own abilities to be called the stallions also are you offended that everyone's getting really drunk when you are performing like i'm going to google this this is rubbish i need to be trying to enjoy this yeah stallions what does it take to join the stallions oh you know that they they deserve the name The Stallions They do look like Stallions There's a Stallion There's a Stallion In the shower

Oh Goodness me He hasn't got his Underpants on properly Someone should tell him Half off I think he's getting Ready for the shower

Yeah but Yeah Someone took a Yeah they shouldn't Have posted that photo The hits The Jono and Ben podcast Jono's internet wormhole

Lost again Like a little child At a school fair Now Crazy, crazy article, but not, I don't know if it's that surprising that 11 companies worldwide pretty much own every item that you buy in the supermarket. So like if you take Coca-Cola, for example, they've got the brands Coca-Cola. They've got a whole lot of water brands. They've got Fanta, Sprite. It always blows my mind that you get a water and it's, like, owned by the Coca-Cola company.

Yeah, they've got juice and stuff as well. I guess it's kind of like radio, you know, like one, you know, well, there's two companies that own most of the radio stations. Yeah. You know? And people go, oh, you're in the same building as such and such you know as zm or haraki and you're like oh yeah it's all part of the same yeah you know so it's yeah that's how that's why i was reading this article and beer as well it's kind of like that one company owns a lion owns a little bit of brands and db on the other ones yeah so i didn't know how how surprised i should have been by this article

yeah but worldwide there's a lot of people in the world. So you've got Coca-Cola's a big one, Unilever, which has a lot of the deodorants. Christopher Luxon used to work there, apparently. Did he? Yeah, Unilever, in Canada, I think. Did he? Yeah.

What, was that the boss? Doing what? I don't know. I remember we talked about him. I think we talked about him, selling deodorants and all sorts. Pepsi Co. They've got more brands than Coca-Cola.

Pepsi. Really? Oh, double the amount. Kellogg's cereal company's got about 20 under their wing. Mars. Is that Nestle or is it another one? No, Nestle's doing its own thing. Nestle's the biggest out of all of them.

Owning about, probably looks like 30 brands. Is it Nestle the one that owns like Weight Watchers but also makes chocolate? I always found that quite funny. You've got, well you're catering for everyone. You're like,

hey, chocolate, we also got this option here. It's like the tattoo parlor you go to that's also got laser removal. Yeah, it's true. A lot of irony in that.

Johnson & Johnson, they're big players as well. Kraft, Heinz, the source company. But that's it, that's the wheel of the in that. Johnson & Johnson, they're big players as well. Kraft Heinz, the source company. But that's it. That's the wheel of the 11 companies that own pretty much everything in every supermarket in the world.

But again, I'm like, is that surprising? Probably not. Yeah, well, it probably is at first. And then when you think about it, you're like, oh, no, I guess it makes a lot of sense. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Cash and Car, we'll be running that for the last few weeks. And yesterday was a big day.

Someone was going to take home that brand new Skoda. And this was the epic moment with Maddie and Morgan. I am here to tell you, with my good friend Morgan, that you are the winner of the brand new Skoda Karate. How does that feel, Rachel? I'm a little bit lost for words. I've never won anything like this before. I've always said that this year was a new me,

a new beginning, a new start, a fresh start for me, and this is just the icing on the cake. There we go, and joins us us now 24 hours later, Rachel in the Hawke's Bay, do you feel like a better class of person already? Oh, I still don't think it's quite real yet. Definitely real, Rachel. Yeah.

What's the best thing you've won before this? I mean, this car's worth pretty much pretty close to $47,000. What's the best thing you've won before this? Probably a gift package worth maybe up to $1,000 maybe. That's a good gift package, though. It was a little beauty spa treatment jobby. What was it?

Oh, that was to do with Valentine's Day. And so Hubby and I got a few little goodies there. Got a few treats. Sexy stuff. Yeah. Okay, stuff. Yeah. Okay, bits and pieces. Lubricants and the whatnot. Okay, John.

Not quite that far. Okay. Now, Rachel, did you have a feeling? I always want to know, like, you know how you sometimes just have an intuition that you're going to win something or something's going to happen to you. Did you have that when you look back now in hindsight? Well, slightly. I mean, I was actually, I was the, originally the first caller that called through when the competition started and I wasn't successful in getting any cash.

I was a little bit too slow in saying stop. Oh, really? But that was all right. And hubby was coming home on the Friday that I managed to call through again and he was coming home on the on the Thursday night from work doing a night night shift and he heard the ad on the radio twice be listening in the morning for cash and car so you can call through and get in the drawer and so Friday morning I was in between finishing my old job and starting my new job. So I thought, right, here's a go. I'm going to give it a go. I called in. I was one of the two earlier callers. So they said, try again, call back. and I just managed to get through and it was just things like that and

hubby on yesterday he he had a he had a a weird feeling and it was just and I sort of thought I would love to win it but I wasn't getting my hopes up I thought no because I'm just gonna I'm just gonna drop from a great high well I didn't get in. Well, that's incredible. You had a weird feeling yesterday and it wasn't constipation. It was the feeling of victory. Yeah, well done. Amazing car. Obviously, replacing the car that you've

got, worth just under $47,000, the brand new Skoda Karoq. Enjoy that. It's going to be amazing. Oh, I will. I'm thinking, I'm dreaming of all the places we're going to go and travel now. Well, you enjoy that car and RIP to your old POS, mate. Have a great day. Absolutely.

Thank you very much, guys. See you, Rachel. Thanks, Corsair. Go to Karoq, a travel partner you can count on. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Just a couple of weeks. The two of us jono we're going to be playing handball for 24 hours uh to raise money for kids can uh handball or four

square whatever you want to call it uh all with how to dad jordan watson who does some very very funny videos on the internet if you want to help out kids can you can text kids to 933 right now to make an instant three dollar donation And he joins us in the studio. Howdy, Dad. Jordan Watson, welcome. G'day. G'day to you. Now, do we say howdy, Dad, Jordan Watson, or Jordan Watson, howdy, Dad, or just Jordan

Watson? I don't care. Whatever you want, mate. Yeah. We'll call you Jordan because we're going to get to know each other a lot better. I thought we already knew each other, but we're getting to know each other a lot more, aren't we? A lot more.

A lot more. Right now, I'm sitting here with some ball. A ball in my pocket. Yeah, good. Because we're talking balls. We are. We are talking balls. We're talking to know each other a lot more, aren't we? A lot more. Right now I'm sitting here with some ball, a ball in my pocket. We're talking balls. We are. We are talking balls. We're talking handball, the handling of that ball. If you stop thinking about it,

I think 24 hours of this is going to slap us in the face. So I've been a little bit of training. Hopefully, you know, I've been sending you guys messages. They just stay on scene like I don't get a reply. But I've been saying, guys, you've been warming up. You've been out in the courtyard. You've been playing handball with the kids. It's on my to-do list.

I'm going to get out. That means he's done nothing. But he does have a to-do list. Now, Jordan, how's the donations going so far? We have just officially opened the donation page. We're up to like $20,000 of our goal of hitting $350,000. So there's a bit of a way to go. So you guys are going to tell your lovely listeners today

that look we want some pre-donations that takes the pressure off of us okay we don't want to be stressing on the day that our donations are way below so we're letting people to donate right now i mean the ideal is we go into the challenge with 349 000 we play handball for about an hour and go home that's the dream result yeah definitely ideal. So what I really like about the website as well, it's kidscampbell.org.nz. You can go there as it kind of breaks down how much you can, where that money is going to go towards,

which is pretty cool. Like for 10 bucks, you can get one kid a week at breakfast. $30, you can support a child for a month. Like you can just, you can see where that money is actually going to go to and actually help, which is pretty good. Yeah, it's an awesome way to kind of visualize it.

It's the things that so many parents out there, we all kind of take for granted sending our kids off to school with lunch in their lunchbox and shoes on their feet. And the reality is there's one in six kids in New Zealand living in hardship. You don't have that. And a long list waiting too. A massive list waiting. Waiting for Kids Can's help.

Yeah, that's the main driver of doing an epic marathon is because there's the longest waitlist kids can have ever had since 20 or since 2018. and so when you say waitlist there's schools registering you mean yeah there are schools screaming out for support so they don't quite make the government's threshold but they still have so many kids that are coming to school without food in their lunchbox so they hit up kids can and kids can are like sorry guys we've got to check on on the wait list. We don't have the funds right now.

So fingers crossed, if we can hit 350K, we take a lot of schools off the wait list. Yeah, it's awesome. It's crazy that it's happening. We've said this many times in New Zealand. This is happening in New Zealand. Yeah, it's my classic line and I'll keep on saying it, but I grew up with a mum that would always say,

eat your food, did you know there's kids in Africa? And now I've grown up saying to my kids, eat your food, did you know there's kids just down the And now I've grown up saying to my kids, eat your food. Did you know there's kids just down the street? That really sits with them and they take it on board. I'm like, you know you have kids that go to your school who might not have food today. I'm like, no, no, seriously, you do. And it sits with them for a bit and they kind of, they get it.

Kids get it more than I think a lot of parents out there who roll their eyes. That's not happening in New Zealand. It is. It is happening. We talked to Julie, the founder of Kids Can the other day, and she was just saying, Megan, right about,

you know, a pair of shoes, what a difference that can make for a kid who doesn't have it and then can join in on things that they couldn't take part in. All those things affects their day

and affects the way their life is almost shaped. Even mentally, like you imagine being the only one at school or feeling like the only one who doesn't have shoes on. Feeling left out at school

is such a big thing. Yeah, I went to a school a couple of years ago where we got to hang out the raincoats to all the kids and the cool thing is that when a school does get sponsored by kids can um every like everyone's covered so there isn't this level of who's got the coolest range they've all been given and they just the first question out their mouth is do we get to keep this can we take this home and i was just there forming on the day because they're like come along you're the ambassador

we'd love you to hand out some jackets and I'll be just holding back tears you get to keep these jackets they're your jackets it's raining for the rain I'm crying

I'm crying it's awesome well thank you for bringing us into it it's going to be epic it's all happening in just a couple weeks time yeah 4th and 5th of April

the 24 hour Kids Can Ball Marathon and donations yeah kidscanball.org.nz. You can head there now and make a donation as well. And you can text too. Text KIDS to 933 for an automatic $3 donation.

Jordan Watson, lovely to see you and look forward to seeing a lot more of you. Yeah, sweet, mate. Back to training. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. The Riddler. And now it's sponsored. It's sponsored by the great supporters of the show, Dilmar Tea.

We call it the Dilmar Teaser. Dilmar handpicked and packed its source for freshness. Dilmar is making the world a better tea. Do try it. And we've got $100 and a hot and cold tea prize pack thanks to Dilmar with great teas like Earl Grey and iced teas as well. The iced teas are awesome, actually.

We've really been getting into those. Earl Grey is underrated. Yeah. Ben iced teas are awesome, actually. We've really been getting into those. Earl Grey is underrated. Yeah. Ben, you've shunned the black devil, which is coffee. Yeah. And now all tea. This lasts a new infected elbow. Two weeks of just, yeah.

No coffee? Tea. I mean, I was enjoying tea before this, but just a tea. Yeah. English breakfast? Yeah. Do it like an English breakfast. And then go back here.

Now, we do always, let's not try and get unnecessarily upset or angry with the riddle once we find the answer. Because I feel like it's a weekly thing where Taylor tries to make us all look like idiots and then we get frustrated that we didn't. I do get a bit aggressive. 0800 the hits. There's one riddle today, right? Yes. 4487 0800 the hits. It's very hard, this one.

Okay, if you get it correct, you get that $100 cash in the Dilma Hot and Tea Cold prize pack. Another warning, too, before Taylor reads it out. Don't let her derail with detail. She kind of bamboozles with all these details that don't actually matter in the end. Derail with detail. Okay, here we go.

You'll be glad to know that this one has barely any details. All right. Okay? So I'm just jumping straight in. Okay. Apples touch. Oranges don't touch. Tables touch.

Chairs don't touch. Plants touch. Trees don't touch. So there's a trend there. And I'm happy if you guys want to throw words at me to see, what's the question? To see if they touch or don't touch. What's the question? What's the trend? Why does, yeah.

Well, things not touching. Some touch and some don't touch. That's the trend. Give me words and I'll tell you if they touch. Jono and his wife. They don't touch. They touch. Touch you last night.

It's a girl again. Jesus. Appropriate touching. Conceitual. again. Jesus. Appropriate touching. Consensual touch. Jen, Jen, if you're listening, phone up and tell them that I touched you last night. So go through the question again.

Apples touch. Oranges don't touch. Tables touch. Chairs don't touch. Plants touch. Trees don't touch. Tables touch. Chairs don't touch. Plants touch. Trees don't touch. Jono and Jen touch. Okay.

So there's a lot of people calling through already. I have no idea. Well, throw words at me. So there's a common theme that we're trying to figure out. Yes, yes. So if you guys, lights, they don't touch. What? Oh, so if I just say words like headphones.

They touch. Sausage rolls. Oh, so there I just say words like headphones. They touch. Sausage rolls. Oh, so there's obviously something in there. They don't touch. Pies. They touch. Okay, there's something in the spelling. Something in the spelling.

Something in the words. All right, let's go. I'm going to have to see if someone's smarter than us. Should we get Emily on from Taranaki this morning? Welcome, Em. How's things in New Plym? Oh, it's a little bit wet today guys oh thank you for the uh weather update we have no well we're slowly figuring out it's obviously got to

do with some spelling of words what what do you think you know vowels connecting together or something it's something to do with the words yes what do you think em um i think it's to do with your lips when you say the word apples. Well, there you go. You are a star. You are a star. Instead of complaining like these guys do, you solved the riddle. I didn't get angry at that either. We're impressed.

That was cool. Apples. Wow, you're so smart, Emily. I actually heard it recently. Oh, okay. You didn't need to tell us that. Anyway, Emily, you've got $100 and a Dilmar

hot and cold tea prize pack coming your way as well. Fantastic. Thanks, guys. Taylor, what are your best, I'd say the best riddle thus far. Thank you. Well done, the riddler. So Jono and Jen don't touch. I see where you're going with that. I took it in a whole other direction.

Yeah, gotcha. Okay. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. You're taking your son, well, just turn your back for one second. Then you often hear people say this about their kids, but my son's three years old and we were going shopping. I'll say the store because nothing bad happened, but we were in shopping. I'll say the store because nothing bad happened but we were in Cotton On Kids and

I had my daughter and literally he was with me one second and the next minute he was gone. So I was like where is he? So you say you turned you back for one second when does it go from turning you back for one second into negligent parenting where you've lost sight of your child. It feels like one second

might be, I'm picking about five minutes. But kids move quick, though. They do move quick, but you're right. So fast. But yeah, you hear people say, oh, turn me back for a second. You're like, sure you did, mate. But I found him, Bastion, in the changing rooms. And in the time one second to me, he had grabbed a gold heart handbag.

It was across his shoulder. He'd got some flower sunglasses, and he was standing up on the seat in the changing room doing some kind of performance and jumping up and down in the mirror. Showman. Kind of like Elton John with big sunglasses on. He was like a tiny toddler Elton John. Tiny dancer. He's the tiny dancer.

And he's yelling out something. I was like, what are you doing? He got such a fright. And he was like, let me get out. I'm performing here. He did a lot in a second though, didn't he? Full costume change. Yeah, I literally really wanted to take the handbag home,

but he wasn't allowed any of it. Anyway, again, I go back to my original point. I felt like you had your back turned on him for longer than a second i felt like it happened to me when when the kids were little were downtown uh in auckland where there's these outdoor fountains and i i was looking in a shop window felt like it was only a second turn my back around one of my daughters had whipped off pretty much a dress whole dress just in her knickers running through the fountains like just she didn't want to get her dress in her knickers running through the fountains. Which she didn't want to get her dress wet. And she was running through and then I sort of chased her

and I was like, this is a bad look looking like you're chasing a kid. It's my kid, just so everyone knows, but it just looks like a bad look chasing a half naked kid around. Well, that sounds like something someone would say that wasn't their kid. Yeah, exactly.

But kids get naked real quick. Yeah. I mean, you put a kid against, we were talking about the Stallions male strip review in Queenstown. Yeah. Don't they? I mean, you put a kid against, we're talking about the Stallions male strip review in Queenstown. Yeah. You put a kid against the Stallions, tell you what, they'd smack him.

Yeah. Like, in the time trial of getting clothes off, you turn your back for a second, boom, turn around, a kid's naked, mate. It's like they just go, whoosh, naked. My son does it at daycare, right when all the parents come for pickup. Suddenly he's naked.

Like, why? What happened to your clothes? I did the same thing, the same fountain as Sienna. daycare right when all the parents come for drop for pickup suddenly he's naked like why what happened to your clothes i did the same thing that same fountain as sienna i got done for public indecency exactly what age does it become indecent to chase john around with me come back here come back here the hits the jonah and ben podcast turned it back for one second and your child bastion uh was performing. In the changing room of Cotton On, with a gold handbag and some flower sunglasses on. Pretty much Elton John, tiny Elton John.

I love it. Yeah, well, Ben's a sucker for a costume change. Yeah, appreciate it. And a quick one, too. Yeah, very good, very impressive. Jeana, I remember she was saying when she was four years old, she was sitting in the car, her dad's car, and he turned his back for a second. It was on a driveway that was on a hill, and she undid the handbrake. Boom.

Through the garage door. Oh, jeez. Turn you back for a second. Cheyenne, how are you? I'm good. How are you guys? Listen, we're doing a box of fluffies on a Tuesday. Now, you turn your back for one second.

What happened? I don't have a child myself, but I used to work with special needs children. I was on a one-to-one ratio with a young boy, and I was told he can be a bit of a monkey. I turned my back for not even 30 seconds to grab my walkie-talkie from my pouch, and by the time I turned around,

he had scaled the walls up the pipes, and he was on the roof. Oh, my goodness. How old? How old are we talking here? He's seven at the time. What do you do? Do you have to scale, get up there yourself?

Well, no, because that's not good for my health and safety. No, that's true. I managed to get up the stairs, go to the upstairs window and coerce him in with a cookie time cookie. Yeah, great. So a hostage negotiation sort of went down. Yes, yes, every time. Wow, good parkour from him, though. Yeah, very impressive.

I'm glad everything worked out all right. Let's go 100 of the hits. Who's next? Barb, you're on. Peter Parker, his mother would have suffered the same fate. Yeah, very impressive. I'm glad everything worked out alright. Let's go 100 of the hits. Who's next? Barb, you're on. Peter Parker, his mother's would have suffered the same fate.

Barb, you're on from Auckland. You turned your back for a second and? Good morning guys. We were in a plumbing showroom, you know,

a bathroom place and they had all these lovely set up and beautiful little arrangements of bathrooms. Had our two and a half year old

and he disappeared, and we found him around the corner proudly with his pants down, sitting on the toilet doing a poo. Mummy poo. And the display model. Hey, it's a toilet. He's proud of himself. He did it where it's supposed to go.

Except it wasn't fun doing what? No, who has to deal with the fallout of that? What was falling out there, Barb? Was that you? Oh, well, we debated about running away. Definitely. What are our options here?

We had a complaint, so to speak, and couldn't tell the people, and they said, right, we'll deal with it. And then we walked out of the shop and didn't go back. No, don't blame you. Or a barb at the moment, I think she's got the tickets. Let's see if she can be beaten, though.

Felt like you should buy that toilet. A toilet guilt purchase. Let's get Pip on. You turned your back for a second, Pip? Yes, yes. My kids were toddlers at the time. I thought I'd go and have a quick shower. While I'm in the shower I can hear my son going, mum look what Kai is doing. I knew it was a bad idea, so I got out of the shower and I come out and I find that my daughter had used an

entire tray of eggs for target practice with the toilet and she was in a onesie with feet and it stomped them um broken up eggs all through the house as she ran back and forth dry like glue yeah come on november so that was just starting to get hot and we couldn't get rid of the smell of eggs for three weeks oh listen was the shower worth it? Some great calls Great call But it's no poo in a toilet Yeah we're going to go to Barb Yeah

Is Barb still with us? I am Oh Barb you've got the double pass To see David Williams That is fantastic Thank you Hey the kids They've got fully plumbed facilities

Barb The hits The Jono and Ben podcast Good news Kate Middleton's been spotted Out and about At her kids school sports games Facilities, Bob. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Good news. Kate Middleton's been spotted out and about at her kids' school sports games. I love how you're waiting for me to say something. Well, we kind of handed over to you to check out some wild internet conspiracy theory.

You don't believe any of this? No, I mean, it's a great thing that she's okay. Just leave her with that. It's great. The latest was she's running around with a colostomy bag and they were just trying to respect her privacy, the royal family. Well, that's from someone that Taylor follows on TikTok or Instagram or something. Who's never been wrong, apparently. He's never lied.

There's nothing to be embarrassed about with a colostomy bag, right? No, this doesn't probably require the cover-up that it's had, but hey. No. No, but if you were having one, I feel like I wouldn't really want to turn up to work with, you know? Yeah, but it doesn't have to hang outside. Like, I'm not, like, wearing it like a handbag. You can tuck it under you.

Oh, it's radio. We'd mock her for weeks about a colostomy bag, Ben. Show where we were. Listen, a bit of a near-death incident last night in the household. It was all full-blown panic stations at Casa del Pryor. As the dog Ate chocolate Now I've seen the stuff that that dog's put in its mouth Any dog

Wild things they eat But chocolate is their kryptonite Chocolate's the one that can really There's a whole list, I think avocados Are no good for them as well Raisins in that family too But look, the nicest Tasting food in the history of food that we could invent is the one thing that ends dogs.

It's so unusual. You're right. Yeah. Very unusual. How much chocolate are we talking? Well, we measured it out in the grams. We phoned the vets. Yeah.

Because you do have to break it down in their weight size with how much they've had. He'd eaten some of those like LJ's raspberry ones with the chocolate outing. Oh, yeah. Chocolate outing, yeah. Too bad. Yeah. Wasn't too bad.

Yeah, you would think that the stuff I've seen him eat would kill 10 grown men. Yeah. But then just a little bit of an LJ's raspberry chocolate. Yeah. It's all go. Sometimes the dogs have to get their stomachs pumped. Other times it's just a wait and see situation. We've had a few wait and see situations and they've been fine.

You've pulled a sock out of, you've tugged a ball with a sock coming out the other end, haven't you? Yeah, one of the kids' socks. So why's the dog got another tail? I pulled the sock out. That was a low moment for me and the dog. Both of us were like, let's talk about this again. Did you put that back in the circulation? What happened to that sock?

I feel like that sock went to the bin. Put it back on the kids straight away. If you ever wondered what happened to the second sock, we now know it's inside Ben's dog. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Studies have revealed a small town in New Zealand has bigger boozes than the city dwellers and the

number one spot, Westport. Westport. South Island is the number one spot for, yeah, enjoy a drink. Do you attribute the small town alcohol consumption to the activities available in those areas? Maybe a little bit from time to time. I mean, that's, it's. Yeah. I mean, Parmy North up there as well.

Ben, you're a big backer of Parmy North. A plethora of entertainment. You were trapped there for how long? Two weeks? Yeah, I was over. Yeah, when the cyclone hit, I was there. I had a North. A plethora of entertainment. You were trapped there for how long? Two weeks? Yeah, I was over. Yeah, when the cyclone hit, I was there. I had a great time. Plethora of entertainment.

Did you hit the bottle? Did you feel like you needed to? Oh, a bit of both. Entertainment and the bottle as well. Now, speaking of entertainment, halftime entertainment at the Warriors. We talked about this yesterday. We were like, it would be so good to do this again.

Last year, we got a mascot for the Hits radio station, a hippo costume. We called it the Hittopotamus, and we got it to race in a halftime race against 20 mascots at a Warriors game halftime, and it was broadcast on Sky Sport. This is for the Hits radio station, Jono and Ben, and they are trying to find the best and fastest mascot.

Oh, good lord. Oh, my gosh. But I tell you what, that pineapple's got some work to do. The Hidipotamus has done it. That's the new official mascot for the Hits radio station. Let's talk about some massive collisions, of which there could have been a few in that mascot race, but no, there wasn't. There we go.

Thank you to Laura McGoldrick from Sky for that beautiful coverage of last year's mascot race. But back Easter Sunday, the Warriors have confirmed they want the Hidipotamus back out there with 19 other mascots. So if you'd like to nominate your company's mascot as well, you can text 4487. But you had an issue that we, because we won last year.

Which was great, but it looked a little set up, and then we're doing it again. And it was set up. To be honest, we've got an ex- professional athlete who's made for the Warriors to run it. So we're doing it again and it was set up. To be honest, we've got an ex-professional athlete who's made for the Warriors to run it. So we're like, well this time let's take a professional athlete out of the mascot costume and get someone else to run it. One of you listening right now.

Yeah, but Megan's cancelled herself out of it. Not a runner, but I do have an arm injury. A lawn mowing arm injury. She pulled a muscle in her arm. I get bad flashbacks getting in mascot costumes so I've been I got attacked by a guy with a golf club once

in a mascot costume on the golf course did you? yeah and that was my own fault from a TV show we were doing what did you do? we tried to pretend

it was like a Grinch costume and the gag was you go up there and you make friends with a person in a Grinch costume just a random stranger who's playing sport

and then at some stage you run away with their sporting gear. Oh, like a basketball. Yeah. You pass the ball to me and then you run away. And then you always give it back, but they don't know that at the time. So, yeah. And a guy was on the golf course with his mate and I went up there and I said, Hey, how's it going?

You know, and then I just ran off with this trunder of golf clubs. And I just heard this oh you're dead bro and I was like uh oh and the guy jumped on me and in the end a golf club got broken over my back but fair enough fair enough I was just like fair enough classic big boys

oh you're so special golf club over my back but fair enough I keep going it's for TV it's for TV I don't care mate you've taken off with probably $2,000 worth of golf clubs. Yeah. Fair enough, fair enough. And we did pay for the golf club and everything was fine in the end.

But yeah, so I don't really want to be in a mascot suit too much these days. Yeah. That was a different time, wasn't it? That was a different Ben Boyce. Yeah. You're not doing that nowadays. No. Just antagonizing people as they go about their day.

Yeah, just enjoy the golf club The golf game Secretly How awkward was them having to get them to agree to be on camera after a moment like that? A little bit awkward, yeah But we got there We got there We paid for a golf club

I think about $700 that golf club No wonder he was chasing you He smashed it over your back and you made a repairer The Hits The Jono and Ben Podcast Alright, now the Hidipotamus is back. The halftime mascot race of the Warriors, Easter

Sunday. It's going to be happening and we want someone to race inside the Hidipotamus costume, so you can phone us, you can text to 4487 the phone number 0800 the Hits with your athletic credentials. Now, must warning too, whoever is in the Hidipotamus costume as well, you don't really factor in the amount of time that you need. Now, must warning too, whoever is in the hippopotamus costume

as well, you don't really factor in the amount of time that you need. Well, you're obligated to stop, hug,

children, pose for photos, any mascot. Kids will come up and hug and want a photo and a high five. No matter who,

what monster is behind that costume. I know, exactly. But yeah, we've got to factor that in. So the hippopotamus goes nowhere fast. Exactly. So you could be there. It's pretty costume? I know, exactly. But yeah, we've got to factor that in. So the hippopotamus goes nowhere fast. Exactly.

So you could be there. It's pretty prestigious. I mean, not many people get to run out in the middle of a Warriors game. You know, you're on the ground at a Warriors game, and you're not going to be sent off or taken, you know, like trespassed or anything. I'm surprised they let us do it. Like, what if we messed up the grass?

They take that very seriously. They do take grass seriously. Bob Marley. I was watching Doc on him. Big runner. I was going to say, he took grass seriously as well. Did you? Very seriously.

He would gather his family every Sunday afternoon and have sprinting races and beat all of them. What? Really? Yeah, beat the kids. He's a good footballer too. Yeah, Bob Marley. Yeah. Wouldn't pass the drug test.

Are you right though, Ben? No. We're going to get Anne on. You want to nominate yourself to run in the Hedipotamus costume, Anne? Oh, hi. No, I'm not too sure if I'd like to run, but I have a competitor to run against, your mascot. Oh, you've got another mascot.

What's the mascot? We do. We have Roly, the lovable Shar-Pei dog that's featured on toilet paper. Oh, hey, hey, Roly. Roly, hey, hey, that dog, yeah. Probably a Sharpay is not known for its speed, but I'm sure he'll be a tough competitor

on the field. We'll take him as long as he doesn't deposit any droppings on the field. It's the only rule we have for Rolly. He's got toilet paper to clean himself up afterwards. Hey, well, thanks, Anne. We'll keep in touch with you.

Thank you. Go rolling. Go rolling. The only dog that's toilet trained. You're right. It's pretty awesome, actually, that dog. Holly, you want to put yourself in the Hedipotamus costume? What?

You want to put yourself in there. What's your athletic CV, Holly? What have you got? Absolutely nothing. We love it. Could be yours. How what have you got? Absolutely nothing. We love it. Could be yours. How often are you training? Are you doing any running?

No. Okay. So I love it. You just rug up. I'll be really good with the children and do hand high fives and keep the mana alive. That's the less important part in the racing aspect of the mascot race. and you know, keep the mana alive. Yeah, I mean, that's the less important part in the racing aspect of the mascot race. It's great to keep the mana alive

out there, but we need the hippopotamus to run at an average pace. We do. It needs to have a good personality too. It does. You sound like you've got a great personality, alright. You're in the draw for that. Keep your nominations coming through. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Just reading, a woman who was bullied, sadly bullied for You're in the draw for that. Keep your nominations coming through.

Just reading that a woman who was bullied, sadly bullied for having a five head, a very large forehead, has got forehead reduction surgery. Age 29. She said she doesn't regret it at all. Costs 9,000 pounds. She's confident now to walk around with a fringe,

without a fringe covering her forehead. So my daughter always gives me grief that I've got a large forehead and I've given it to her. You were like, good news for me, a woman's been bullied in John Iwan. I'm like, what? No, that was the sad part of the story. But the good part of the story is she's feeling good now about that and you can get forehead reduction surgery. Some people suit big foreheads.

Yeah. You're all right. You suit a big forehead. To be honest, it didn't even bother me either way. I didn't really know until my daughter pointed it out. So anyway, that's fine. Does she still play on it on your insecurities? Yeah, totally.

That's what you do, right? We never lose you because it's like a shining five head. Good advertising space if anyone wants to buy it too. I definitely get a billboard-sized space across my forehead. Well, you can take out my whole head if you want to. Yeah. You have advertising options available. Now. Well, you can take out my whole head if you want to. Yeah. You can have advertising options available. Now, Megan, you injured yourself yesterday.

Yeah, you had an injury. Well, you're still sporting your injury, and we gave you crap about how it wasn't a very good story. You just did it at the gym. Mine's even worse. Yesterday, I was mowing the lawns. I mow the lawns, yeah. Yeah, you do enjoy mowing the lawns.

You talk about it. It's kind of cathartic, yeah. So I was mowing the lawns, and where it's kind of cathartic yeah uh so i was mowing the lawns and where i tip the hold on hold on if you're mowing the lawns who's cooking the dinner mate i cook the dinner you do that as well yeah what's andrew doing in this whoever's home like at the time yeah we don't buy into those gender stereotypes good on you mowing the lawns is cathartic you're right. Yeah. Andrew will do it. To be fair, he will do it and he does it better than me. And when I told him yesterday I'd done it, he was like, oh, thanks.

Are you doing the lines? No. Right. I go by my own buzz, whatever I'm feeling at the time. Sideways. Sometimes I go round and round. Whatever I'm feeling. Oh, there's no consistency to the law.

Just get it done. That would have warmed me up. And so, yeah, he's like, thanks. You've done it. But it's weird. A bit patchy. Yeah. Yeah, right.

Okay. But anyway, yesterday where I tipped the, ah, I just did it then. Oh, you did, yeah. Where you tip the clippings is kind of like up and over the back of my fence. It's still my property. I'm not tipping it onto the neighbors. But I did it with my left hand and I've like torn my tricep or something.

Lawnmower injury. I can't lift it past my shoulder. You're about a week away from having a fall. Where does it go from falling over to I've had a fall? She's had a fall. So now I've got an injury, but I probably need to come up with a better...

Can I say Monday is a very unusual day to be mowing lawns? Why? It just feels like an odd lawn mowing day. Yeah, so I don't mind doing it during the week. Then you don't have to worry about it. I've only got a very small lawn because most of mine is astroturfed. So I've only got, like, it takes me 10 minutes.

But I'd rather do it during the week and not on my weekend. Massimo's astroturf. Well, because I got so sick of mowing it. He hates mowing lawns, yeah. He went full buddy Dr. Seuss. What was that movie? The Lorax. The Lorax on it.

Oh, he wouldn't like that, the Lorax, right? He was all about keeping the natural state. But yeah, it's handy. Yeah, I don't want to do it at the weekend. It's like a chore. I want to do as many chores during the week so I don't have to do it at the weekend. Wow, look what it's done to you now.

Oh, yeah. Coming here with an old lady arm. Saying you've injured a muscle, but you're not quite sure what you said. Is it a tricep? Is it a tricep? It's not my bicep.

It's down the side of my arm, but I can't lift it past my shoulder. Jesus, someone was mowing the lawn the other night. It would have been, I was last looking at COVID, 10.30.

No. 10.30. I was like, that's someone who doesn't want to do it on the weekend. No, definitely. Did they have the lights on? You wouldn't see anything.

I guess you could have a head torch. One of those cool head torches. Yeah, they look badass, don't they? No, that's not okay. When's too early to mow the lawn as well? That's always a bone of contention. Especially in the weekend too, right? Not before nine, right?

Before nine? Yeah. It does feel like if you want to be nice to your neighbours, that's it. Why, what are you thinking? Eight. No, I'd be throwing something at you. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast.

Jono and Ben are the dragons. And this is Dragons Ben. Yeah, if you're a kid listening right now with a business idea, we can turn your business idea to life with a $10,000 business startup package. That's thanks to Square One. Now, Square One is your child's first bank account and card managed by you, the parents, teaching kids to be great with money in a digital world. An amazing prize pack, too.

It involves a whole bunch of Apple products, cash to get the business off the ground as well, some advice from the Square One team who helped design logos and marketing campaigns. So we're not beating around the bush, Ben. I don't know who came to beat around the bush, but it wasn't me today, my friend. No, you can register right now at the hits.co.nz. Some great entries already coming through. Yesterday, mess-free slime.

They weren't willing to part with the intellectual property, sorry, intellectual, what's the word? I thought property was the right word. The IP. The IP. Yeah, of the actual, of how it worked, but apparently it doesn't leave a mess, this slime. So that was the first one.

And Jack. Good. How old are you, mate? 12. 12 years old. Now, you've got a big business idea. What's your idea? Selling worm wee.

Selling worm wee? Yeah. How do you extract the urine out of the worm? Well, they just pee. And then it goes down into this little container. A tap at the bottom of the container. So you started this in lockdown, from what I understand. Getting worm wee, you used to capture it into your mother's empty wine bottles?

Did you? How many litres of worm wee have you got? Oh, a capture it into your mother's empty wine bottles. Did you? How many litres of wormweed have you got? Oh, a lot. And what do you do with it? Sell it. It's good for the garden, isn't it? Yeah, sold it to neighbours, sold it to the neighbourhood as well. It's apparently great for plants, trees, lawn, vegetables, indoor plants, liquid, all that sort of stuff.

Yeah. Oh, I wouldn't have known that. Because I imagine it would just come out of tiny, tiny little droplets. Minuscule. How long does it take to fill up a wine bottle? Yeah. Like, normally we harvest like every two weeks. Two weeks you fill up a whole bottle?

Yeah. And how much, what's your price point, Jack? How much would it set me back to buy a wine bottle worth of wormwheat? $5 a bottle. $5. Now you've been on Breakfast TV with Manny McLean, haven't you? I've heard of Manny McLean. Yeah, he's on the hits now as well. That's pretty cool. How can we confirm that it is in fact the urine from a worm?

And not your urine. It is from a worm. It is? You're not topping it up, mate, when you're having a dry fortnight? No, it is. It'd probably be more than one bottle every two weeks if that was the case. Oh, what a really cool idea. So what would you do if you got this amazing package

thanks to Square One? Because it obviously comes with money, comes with a logo, comes with support, comes with some Apple products. What would you like to do with your business? Well, the website would be good. Wormwee.co.nz or something? Yeah.

Yeah, from all around New Zealand have been asking from like Christchurch and stuff. Mate, guess what? The domain name's still open, baby. Nice! You can try and lock in the website you're right, and be able to send it around the country, that'd be pretty cool. You could expand production, get more worms, Jack?

Yeah. So this probably should have been one of the first questions, but asking that, so how did you know about this? How did you know that wormweed was good for the garden? We were learning about it at school, and then we went home for lockdown, and then I didn't want to go back to school after lockdown. Right.

You're like, how can I get out of this school thing? I know. I'll extract the urine from a worm. That's pretty impressive. It is. Really entrepreneurial. How many worms have you got at home that you use? Thousands.

How have you collected them all? I buy them from a place down south. You have to get this special type of worm called tiger worms. You can't just get any worms. Right. Do they send them in the courier? Yeah. Gee whiz.

Ice cream container. I like that. Really cool. And so have you got a giant patch of dirt where all these worms just pee? There's like a little

container sort of thing. And it's got all the dirt, the bedding and stuff. Right. How do you get the actual, but does the urine just like, does it just dribble out the bottom of the container?

Yeah. It just drips through the dirt and down into a little tray. Wow. Jesus. So what area of the country are you in? Marston. Oh, my. Hometown Marston.

So people in Marston can get you wormweed, but you want to take it nationwide if you win this competition. Yeah. I love it. Global? Want to do a global? No. No, no, just domestic weed.

A cool name, like Jack's Worm Wees? Yeah. He's like, that'll do. That's fine. Thanks, Megan. That'll do. He's like, we've got the name sorted. Well, Jack, lovely to talk to you, buddy. What a really cool idea that you're doing, and good luck for winning this grand prize. Thank you.