Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - The Sure-Fire Sign Your Partner Is Cheating!

Episode Date: September 18, 2024

We chat to Julia a private investigator specialising in infidelity, scams, and child custody! The sure fire sign your partner is cheating... What causes repeat offenders Her CRAZIEST story that involves nudity! What is the common reason someone strays? And most importantly... Can she find Ben's missing sock? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. Cheers to Dilma, making the world a better tea. Good morning to you, Julia. Good morning. Lovely to have you on. It's lovely to hear your dulcet tones again. Oh, please. Yes.

Have you missed us or you've been privately investigating us on the side? I'm always investigating you guys. You know that. Oh, what have you found? Oh, it's Megan's here. I found a whole pile of socks. Have you found my socks, Julia? Because we got in touch with you and you were like, look for my sock.

Have you found it? I've found more than your sock. Oh, okay. Got some dirty laundry, does he? Bit of a pun there. What is the main reason why people get in touch with you? Let's put socks aside for the moment. What's the main reason people get in touch with you? Let's put socks aside for the moment. What's the main reason people get in touch with you?

Because they know something's wrong. They feel it with every sense of their body, no matter what it is, and they just want someone to confirm it for them. What percentage of people who come to you with an inkling are actually correct? Pretty much 99%. Wow. But the one thing is, and I don't know whether I've mentioned this to you guys before, the reason probably we tend to talk about men more or people assume men play around more, which they don't. Women play around just as much.

We're cleverer. Look, you're onto it. And guys, they are the ones that don't have a plan, and that's why they get caught, whereas women tend not to get caught. So women are harder to catch. So do you get the percentage of your clientele? Is it a split between men and women coming to you to investigate their partners? Well, it's probably more women because men don't realise it, but they give the show away quite quickly, quite easily.

They'll say things. And they'll say things that make a woman think, oh, I wasn't even thinking about that, but now you've mentioned that, maybe I should. Whereas a woman knows, try and keep your behaviour the same as it's always been. And if you want to talk about it, talk about it to a girlfriend so you're not going to say anything you shouldn't at home. Women's intuition. The problem is we're dealing with a smarter species and we cannot compete.

Do you know what, I'd like that to go on record because that is actually the truth. And I think as time goes on, more people will really realise that. Also, I'd like, men aren't, you're not great at picking up on the cues. Even down to, you know, like us dropping hints on what we want for our birthday or whatever. You're just not really picking up on the hints. So I guess that's part of it too. Oh, totally.

Look, you know yourself. You could come home and you've changed your hair or you've done something and your husband or your significant other just wouldn't even notice until you say, what do you think? And they, oh, well, I was going to mention that, you know, as if they did notice it. But of course they didn't. So that is why women pick up on subtle little things really subtle things that men just

don't and and obviously and look we do deal with a lot of men but often they'll come to us when it's perhaps the affair or the relationship is coming to an end because that's how long it takes them to pick up on the cues and i'm not and i'm not being disparaging or it is just a fact of the differences between the sexes that's all what what is the you know you've caught so many cheaters pick up on the cues and I'm not and I'm not being disparaging or it is just a fact of the differences between the sexes that's all what what is the you know you've caught so many cheaters over the years uh what what is the common the common theme the common reason that people stray from the relationship I think it's um well look it's I think it's in your DNA because often and other the way you say I have been doing this.

I run the company. My investigators are out there doing the catching. You don't get your hands dirty. No, I'm not silly. But I think what it is, we find, I think it's more in your DNA, a bit like people like Tiger Woods. You know, people like that, that it's there. No matter what you do, it's not going to stop. So I have clients that are repeat clients,

and they might have started. I've been doing this for 30 years now, so they may have started off in their 30s coming to me, but they're still dealing with the same thing, you know, 30 years later. And what we find is people get older. If you put up with this and you continually put up with it and you try and forgive and make it work and that your partner knows you can get away with it,

usually at the end they do leave you for the last one of their flings. They actually do leave you. What do you think about the old adage, once a cheater, always a cheater? Cheater never changes his spots. I think cheaters can change their spots, but it comes down to something really simple. You know, we do a lot of Christmas parties,

and you see some odd stuff going on. Yeah, you do. Awkward conversation, not knowing how you're meant to talk to your boss, that sort of stuff. Probably more odd than that, but that's right. That's slightly odd. And the thing is, you know, we had one guy that did do something that he shouldn't have.

But what I thought was so good about him is he actually fessed up to his wife and he said, I totally screwed up. I really did. And he told her. Now, that marriage survived and that marriage is fine. It's really good. It actually got stronger because he fessed

up she didn't have to find out she didn't have to plead with him to go to counseling she you know he made all the changes himself yeah on his own and that's where you know you have got someone who is going to work it out and not do it again so you've got people obviously that work for you finding evidence and stuff what sort of evidence are they finding is it sort of like they're taking photos like sitting outside people's properties I mean how does that sort of work these days? Well it's interesting because the Privacy Act is pretty tight here so the one thing that does work is surveillance you know the eyes on it's the it's the it is the best form of investigating is to have the eyes of the investigator on the

subject. So it's actually, yeah, it's surveillance. That's what turns up everything. And like I say, at Christmas parties, people tend to have a few drinks and wander out to the car park and open the car door and perhaps keep their foot in the car, leaves the lights on and kisses someone that they shouldn't be. It's easy stuff like that. And bang, there's your photo.

That's it. Has there been an instance where you've been on a case and you've been tailing the person and it's like, oh, no, they just have a secret addiction to badminton or something that they didn't want to share? Well, funny you say that because we had one case that was quite funny where this guy would go through a child's playground into the bushes and disappear. And one of my investigators looked like a viking, and he said, I can't hang around here, I look like a bloody pedophile.

But anyway, he followed this guy, and this guy went on a 20-minute bushwalk, came out to a nudist beach, and for 25 years he'd been married, and he was going to this nudist beach. His wife had no idea he was a nudist beach and he for 25 years he'd been married and he was going to this nudist beach his wife had no idea he was a nudist and so and so well the positive he wasn't having an affair that's right he was just running around naked yeah there we go picture to your wife she might be into it both my parents love it it must be hard it must be heartbreaking for you and i imagine it doesn't get any easier having to go back to the person and confirm their worst fear. Well, but you see, it's not really, because that's what I said in the beginning.

These people actually know. They have lived with this for months or years before they call me. They really thought long and hard about calling a private investigator, and it's got to the point where they, to save their sanity, because they're being gaslit, they just know they need to do something. And so for them it's like a relief that they know, oh my God, I'm not nuts after all. That's right.

Yeah, yeah. What's one thing, one surefire sign someone's straying? Hiding their phone. I was going to say taking your phone into the toilet, taking your phone everywhere you go, not allowing, you're being super protective of your phone or deleting, deleting, deleting. You know, that's pretty much because, hey, look, the old adage, if you've got nothing to hide, you hide nothing.

Great adage. What if I'm planning a surprise party or something like that? Oh, there's text coming through. What if that's, you know? But you know what? The thing is, you know when there's something right and something wrong. You know when there's something wrong in your marriage or in your relationship. You instinctively feel it, but you'll keep trying to deny it and trying to justify it. But I think we all know when things are not going right

and no matter how much you want them to be better, if that niggle just doesn't go away, you know you've got to do something about it. Yeah. And do people go to extreme lengths to hide affairs? Women do. Do they? What's the most extreme case of?

I think they kind of, women just, you always usually get the help of a girlfriend, and that's a great cover, because, you know, the girl's night out, or the girl's going away to the beach, or the girls are doing this,

and it's not the girls at all, it's only one girl. Really? So the girls weekend, we need to be a bit more suspicious of. Girls are really, you know, because look, you know as a woman that we

have great friendships, deep friendships with our friends. Where you can tell them anything and you can disclose stuff and you talk about stuff. You go right down into the depths of situations where men tend to flitter around on the surface. They don't really go deep, whereas women go deep.

I've got a bury my body friend, a friend that's going to help me bury a body if I need to one day. Well, we all have those friends. Yeah, see? We do, yeah. Yeah, and she told us that the first day she was working with us too, which kind of put us off a little bit. So we might be hiring your services. Well, my husband keeps wondering why there are these humps in our garden. There's these odd mounds in the garden.

And I have been married four times. He's like, we're trying to mow the lawns, really. Private investigator. Thank you so much for your time and answering our questions. We really do appreciate it. You guys are welcome.