Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Threesomes?

Episode Date: April 22, 2024

Welcome to the untamed realm of the world's Wild Wild Web!  The chat starts with buying stockings on Temu and ends with airport security pat-downs..   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Coming up on the Wild Wild Web today, Megan has an awkward question to pose to Ben Boyce. Oh, it might not be as awkward as the question I asked to Kanye West in an interview. We'll get to that as well. Welcome to the untamed realm of the world's wide web. A swirling vortex of weirdness, bullying and self-obsessed social media posts. In this digital jungle,o and Vienna Your fearless guides Leading you through The wildest parts Of the wild, wild web

This is the wild, wild web Welcome along to another edition Of the wild, wild web Where we get actual news stories That are making news Around the world The wildest of them And we talk about them

And see where the wild Conversations end up. Now, Megan, you said you were going to ask Ben to buy something for you on Timu. Yeah, I actually got to this because of Kanye West, which we'll talk about in a minute. But I googled Kanye and his wife because she went to dinner recently

wearing just stockings. So nothing underneath. And a bra, which I show nothing underneath. And a bra. Shall I show you? And so she was covering her hoo-ha with her purse. With her purse. I mean, you know you're really underdressed if you're having to use a purse to cover your genitals.

Yeah, but I mean, her butt was visible. That's her thing though. She sometimes wanders out in like glad wrap and things like that like clear plastic raincoats. Yeah.

How you dress how you want to dress. Yeah. But when looking at that photo I was like those stockings are cool. I would wear them

with undies and with something over top. Yeah. You're probably not wearing that outfit to a parent teacher interview. But I was like

I want those stockings. I was influenced by Bianca. So I was like I'm going to Google and see if I can find these stockings somewhere. I found myself on Teemu. Right. And it has a little, I'm not on Teemu.

I don't have an account or whatever. But it has a little spinny wheel that comes up. And it's like, spin for your discount. There's like, try again. There's like 90%, 20%. There's all sorts. I spun it and I've got 100% discount. You don't get any better discount.

That's a great discount. Is that a trick? Is that to get me to sign up? Yeah, they're probably trying to get you in there. But would I actually get it for 100% off? Because I want to find something expensive. That's a good point, yeah. Have they specified how much you're allowed to spend?

Maybe there is in the little asterisk. I don't know. It's amazing though. That's a hell of a bargain though. 100% off an item. Also, Ben, you did say that if I wanted anything off Timu that you could buy it for me on your account.

Yeah, I end up doing that. Then I had to drive out to buy the airport the other day to return something that my daughter wanted me to return. Is it weird if I get you to buy me some lace stockings? It's weird if my wife sees it. Who's these for? And you're like, Megan.

It's Megan, mate. Megan asked me to do it. It only gets weird if another wife becomes involved. Up until then, it's all kosher. Now, speaking of other wives. Oh, yeah. Kanye West was doing an interview for a podcast. And Kanye West, he's outspoken at the best of times.

And the worst of times. Yeah, the worst of times times there's some things that he says every now and again you're like okay um but he got asked who would have a famous person he'd have a threesome with him and his wife and he he came out with uh straight away michelle obama uh he's like you've got it if the president's wife is how he added that now i mean obviously currently not the i'm about currently not the president but still i'm sure added it. Now, I mean, obviously, currently not the president, but still, I'm sure they would have met each other, known each other. So just a bit. What's old mate's wife's name?

Jill. Why, he's not putting out. Oh, Jill Biden. Jill Biden. Jill Biden. Because technically that's the president's wife. Yeah, but they also say, yeah, they all kind of stay as Mr. President, don't they?

And also, he's a Trump fan, so why wasn't he saying Melania? Oh, yeah. Because then that would be awkward. Because he's friends with Trump. But he's met the Obamas, too. He knows Michelle. I feel like this is one of those moments where he was just doing a dumb gag, and now it's been written into an article.

It comes across a little more controversial than maybe it was intended. I don't know if he's that self-aware to be making gags. Most of it just comes out. I feel like he meant it. Okay. I'm going to pose this to you. Which former Prime Minister's partner would you welcome into your bedroom? Well, I've got two.

Your marital bedroom. I've got two that I can choose from. Has there been two female? Oh, no, three. Oh, Clark Aitford. Clark Aitford. Okay. Your marital bedroom. I've got two that I can choose from. Has there been two female? Oh, no, three. Yeah. Oh, Clark Aitford. Clark Aitford. Okay, he's an option.

What's Helen's husband? Peter. Peter. And Ships. Who is Shipley's husband? I don't know who Jenny Shipley's husband was. I think I'm distantly related to Jenny Shipley, too, so I don't know if that's... Might be a bit awkward at the next family reunion.

I tell you, you're just saying welcome into the bedroom. It could just be like, hey, have a look around, have a seat. We'll talk about some stuff, watch some Netflix or something. Let's have a look here. We kind of know Clark too, so I don't feel like I can say Clark. So that leaves me with Helen Clark. Peter. I have to say Peter.

Going to go Peter. University lecturer. Auckland University. Okay, there you go. Thanks for playing that game. And Ben. No, no no that was the game yeah yeah thank you john because i feel like yeah you can't really go around and go oh you know you know like hey yeah equal right okay we've got bruner key i'll go clark clark aphid i'm not around i'm allowed to do it it's 2024 mate i can do it

anymore so yeah you've you've opted out of that. I used to make a TV show for many years with Clark. You've just gone with your mate. It doesn't work. So while it was an option, it would have been the least awkward out of all of them. Jono, what about you? She's too much. Okay, I'm trying to think.

We've got Brona. We've got, who else was in there? Who's Christopher Lux? Amanda. Amanda, she's very attractive. Amanda. Same name as your wife, Ben. You wouldn't be any issues there.

You wouldn't say the wrong name. Well, yeah, if I'm buying the lace stockings for Amanda, they'll be like, okay, yeah. Bit weird, eh? It's all just getting a bit weird, this conversation. John, I started it. I'm going to go Norman Kirk's wife. Let's have a look.

Norman Kirk, wife. Oh, no, but then you're going to go Norman Kirk's wife. Let's have a look. Norman Kirk wife. Oh, no, but then you're probably talking about someone who's no longer with us. This is the best thing. Lucy Ruth Miller. Married in 1943.

What about Michael Joseph Savage? What is he? He was back. I just love that last name. He's a savage. Joseph Savage. Wasn't that

the dance in TikTok? Oh, yeah. So he never married, mate? So just him. Yeah. No, never married. He's a savage. Yeah.

He's a savage. Maybe he was a pants man. Oh, God. I'm so sorry. He's the Prime Minister. I know. It feels like we're really disrespecting Prime Minister. There's no two ways about it.

That's exactly what I'm saying. Sorry. I'm not comfortable with this conversation at all. And I don't think anyone listening is right now. Well, I've chosen Lucy Ruth Miller, okay? Just so you know. Just to round out that game. Interesting though, a threesome, I would imagine. Isn't it?

Because just the logistics. Like, if you're welcoming a third party into your already formed relationship, you would always be like, are they giving a bit more attention to that third person? Am I feeling left out? Absolutely. I'm way too jealous. Yeah, I imagine you couldn't go into it being that type of person. No, no.

You'd have to be in. Do they stay the night? Do you have to wake up in the morning and, well, do you like my modern toast? Or, you know, what happens? Yeah, it'd be analysing everything. They've got more time than me. You don't do that with me. It's just like everything.

Like you're just sitting in the corner. Can I tap in now? Like, hello, I'm still here. No one know I've left the room for 20 minutes. That's the thing, because you'd have two people, they're doing their little thing, they're getting wrapped up, and you're like, okay, well, I'm clearly a spare one at the moment. And it'd be like, my time will be on.

So put me on. You know when you watch WWE from time to time and there's the tag teams, you're like, tag me in. And they're like, oh, they can't. You're like, tag me, tag me in. And your hands are. Guys, guys. And they're like, they're too far away.

They're like, I can't tag you in. Shush, Ben. You're like, no, you can tag me in. Any stage, you can tag me in. I'm right here. No, I can't. Just tag me in, tag me. You're like, no, you can take me in. Any surgeon can take me in. I'm right here. No, I can't. Just take me in. Take me in.

Oh, he's not taking me in. Oh, my God. You're still here. Let's go take a quick break from the Wild Wild Web. We'll be back after this. Welcome back. And, you know, obviously the end, the ceremonious ending of those events. The closing ceremony.

Yeah, like who does that go to? How does everyone join in on the closing ceremony yeah too jealous i reckon you'd have a pretty open conversation before heading into it yeah well if you didn't ground rules yeah there'd be some things afterwards you know i mean yeah you couldn't go in with you'd have to be free free you know free thinking free thinking yeah No, it's so, and hey, fair play to anyone. You know, anything you want to do in your bedroom,

you do in your bedroom. Yeah. Each to their own. Within reason. Yeah, true. We don't need a yucky yum if you're into it. That's right.

Damn right. Damn right. So we'll move from threesomes on to, okay, Kanye West. I honestly think when Kanye West departs this earth, and maybe in years down the track, that he will be one of our greatest artists.

Oh, no doubt. I love his albums. But I just wish he would just know when to draw the line with the things he says, you know? Yeah, and you sometimes wonder if he's just saying them to get attention, to get, you know, because he is to stay relevant. But also he is mentally unwell.

Yeah, and that's the sad part. He's really close to his mum if you watch the documentary on Netflix. That rattles him. There's trauma there. Oh, that's horrible the way his mum passed away sadly and they were really, really close, you know. She seems like a sweet lady. Yeah.

So you wonder if some of these things would be happening if she was still around. And then you also wonder about friend groups as well, the people saying. And it's isolating being that famous. How do you think you would handle that level of fame? Not well. Incomparable. I don't like social media where I'm at now because I spend too much time looking at people's comments. Would you be so famous you wouldn't even look at it? You'd have people running your social I don't, I spend too much time looking at people's comments and.

Would you be so famous? You wouldn't even look at, so you'd have people running your social media. Yeah, I guess, but it's still, if you still hear what people say about you, you're just sitting in a whole other level of this elite club of people who. Well,

even like yesterday, Taylor Swift album, I saw that she got a great review on Rolling Stone and she put it on her social media saying, I'm screaming with delight. And you're like, I don't think Taylor Swift was too, I don't think she'd be beyond that. You know, that's amazing. She gained five out of five, five stars or whatever. But you think she'd be like, not even delving, you know, she still obviously cares about that thing.

But then have you seen all the negative headlines where everyone's like, can you just shut up? I'm sick of Taylor. I'm like, oh, how dare she put her art out to the world for you to choose to buy or not buy yeah you don't have to buy you don't have to get you don't have to and like she's just being celebrated for something she loves to do interesting you said today also that's when we were talking off the air that she's not the most followed person on instagram not by a long way which is i would have thought just this is off the top of my head 260 something million maybe maybe. And then there's Selena Gomez, who is in the 400 millions.

I wouldn't have picked Gomez. No, she's like the most followed ever, right? Yeah, up there with Cristiano Ronaldo. Yeah, Kylie Jenner maybe from time to time. But I don't know, like, love her, but I don't even think she runs her own social media because it affects her mental health. Yeah.

So, like, I just don't, why her and not Taylor, when Taylor's just huge right now? Yeah, she's number four out of all – so Instagram, as in the Instagram, Instagram account is the most followed. Is it? Yeah. Isn't that Kevin? A bit self-indulgent.

Who's Kevin? Kevin is the Instagram founder. I don't think I – do you follow Instagram? I don't. Was it a thing? Am I imagining this, that when you Do you follow Instagram? I don't. Was it a thing? Am I imagining this, that when you started Instagram, everyone followed Kevin?

Maybe. Anyway, they've got 672 million. Cristiano Ronaldo, footballer, 628 million. Then it goes to Lionel Messi, 502 million. Selena Gomez, 429. Maybe Instagram's like when you, remember years ago you bought the computers and that came with U2's album. Oh my God,

I still can't get rid of that fucking album. It's U2. Again, U2 just trying to give you your music, mate. They just put their art out there for you to like or not like. No, they forced it upon me. Oh, now it's changed, eh?

I don't get people that are going to criticize Taylor or U2, get that bloody album. Taylor didn't force her album upon everyone. Did you pay for that U2 album? It's free. It's free, mate. It plays automatically in my car.

I'm like, no. Just delete it. Shush. I probably could do that, Jono. It was quite tough to delete from memory, I think. At first, maybe they made it easier. But U2, just try to get their album out there. I think we bullied U2 out of music after that, didn't we?

Also, didn't they have a tax scandal in in ireland do they yeah i'm done i think so all right yeah no you two i don't think they're like skiddly d we we don't live in ireland anymore last hour really yeah what was your last album you two songs of surrender 2023 is that the last one no that, that was before that. It was last year. This year? It still automatically plays on my phone. My son's like, what is this? I'm like, dude, I don't know. They forced it upon us. You didn't consent to your music.

No, I did not. Well, nowadays you probably have to consent to it, wouldn't you? Yeah. You know, it's funny. I went through airport security last week and beeped, you know, you beeped through the machine. Yeah. And the lady's like, oh, there's something buzzing on Jen, my wife's arm. She's like, do you consent to me touching your arm like her bicep?

She's like, yeah, that's fine. You do your job. She's like, would you like to go to a quiet room for me to touch your arm? He's like, no, you can just touch my arm here. Do your job. But even. But also what happens if she said no? This is what I'm thinking.

Ideal for drug mills. No, I don't consent to anything. Don't pat me down. There's drugs in there. Looks like you're carrying something there, sir. Well, I don't consent to you touching it. Well, I better catch my flight. I wish you a good day.

I bid you adieu, my son. Surely there good technicality or they can't get around there right so if you are padding your junk with cocaine and they're patting it down and they're like there's something there and you're like no that's just me like yeah awkward scenario but then you'd have to consent to the padding to begin with yeah and you're, don't touch my bits. A point where someone can unconsensually touch you. No, not this day and age, mate. Someone's going to come away and go, alright, mate, it's my job. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I don't consent, you're like, I don't care. You're being accused of, you know. Then they do pat you down and they're accusing, that's not your situation. You're like, no, that is how big it is. It's definitely not padding. Well, it wouldn't be our situation. No, no, I'm not sure i mean you've got room to put stuff down there if you want me get some stuff through customs i've got room i wouldn't do it though because a blemish free record now at the airport that's what i made me for definitely have the pants space well i thought

yeah i thought exactly the same thing as you where Where's the line drawn? Yeah. It makes it very hard for them to do their job. What did she have on her bicep? What was it? Drugs. Oh, no, it was like a tiny little... Like a dome or something on her... A metallic on her top. Oh, yeah, right.

Yeah, like just a little logo, but yeah, that was... Not smuggling and... Thoughts even the consent going into the patting down game. And the bicep. Interesting, isn't it Well that has been today's episode of the Wild Wild Web We've covered some ground Don't know if anyone listens to this So are you going to buy me those stockings

Yeah we'll take it back to the beginning You need the stockings Sorry I was actually just lost in the aviation crime chat It does seem like you can There is a point where you're like Sorry, no, I was actually just lost in the aviation crime stats. It does seem like you can, there is a point where you're like, well, they would deny you going on the plane, things like that. They also will, yeah, it goes, yeah, they've basically got a whole section under a pat-down search. Yeah, I'm glad there is.

And the authority to be searched if, you know. I'm pretty sure they would have covered that off somewhere. It's all there. Section 8, B, 1, 2, and 3. Ben's got it saved on his phone. Don't worry about that, mate. 1972, they had that, the Aviation Crimes Act. Oh, there we go.

1972. Yeah, that's where this bit came out. Well, there we go. A lot of information to download, and we'll wrap up the show for a second time. Have a wonderful day.