Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Weekend Best Bits: The Wedding Disaster...

Episode Date: March 31, 2023

Some of the best bits from the week you may have missed!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Okay, something that's going on in our house at the moment. Board games. We're getting back into the board games. We kind of stopped. What happened to devices, mate? Get the family on the devices. Try to put down the devices, try to get together as the family and play some board games. But sometimes I feel like the devices,

maybe things were happier with the devices. They are, 100% of the time. I think everyone probably is, right? Because you're either a board game person, you're either one of the people that don't really care what happens, you're in it for a laugh, bit of fun, that's me, or you're in it to bloody win it and it's competitive and I'm going to take the win at all costs.

And that's my wife and I get it. That's fine. She's very competitive. She's very good at board games. She's strategic. She thinks about those things and it's got to the stage. But you can't have one competing against the other. Yeah, well, I guess, yeah.

Yeah, the equilibrium's off. If you're giving, if you're just in it for a laugh and she's in it for blood i know the game's never gonna end well so yeah so because cluedo we've been getting into cluedo recently we played it a bit in america do you know it's called clue in america we're playing it why did we add a dough i don't know i was like i was like that's the first mystery to try and solve where that went maybe it's just this part of the world where you've got, you know, Rico, Devo, Cluedo. Maybe, yeah. So you obviously have to solve guesses.

You make predictions along the way to see who committed the murder, what room it was in, with what instrument and stuff. And normally you make your predictions, you think about your things, but my wife's like a detective. She's writing down everyone else's. She's like, okay, John is guessing that. Why am I a suspect? Well, no, but everything you say, she's like, oh. She's writing down everyone else's. She's like, okay, John is kissing that. Why am I a suspect? Well, no, but everything you say, she's like, oh, he's thinking that,

so he's going to be thinking this thing, so I haven't got this one. It's like she's thinking so many steps ahead. You're in too deep, mate. I'm like, everyone's now like, it's too much. It's too much. We need to walk away. And she'll like, no qualms about beating the kids too. Like just, she's like, they need to learn.

At some point, you realise a murder hasn't taken place yet. I'll get the investigation team over. She's pretty much on it. But yeah, but I do remember my grandparents, Sylvie and Bill.

They would have some parties. Beautiful grandparent names. They're just gorgeous names. Love, they would love a game. But then my grandpa Bill, he'd get so frustrated and then he'd put the cards out.

He'd just be, Jack, King, Queen, Ace, I'm going to bed. He'd just throw them down and then he'd say that pretty much like clockwork. Every game, he'd get so frustrated and then he'd put the cards out. He'd say, Jack, King, Queen, Ace, I'm going to bed. He'd just throw them down and he'd say that pretty much like clockwork. Every game he'd get frustrated if he was losing.

Throw the cards down and storm off. It was like a walk off. Now, was this Sylvie and Bill and they refused to sleep inside the house? No, these other ones were in Christchurch. Yeah, they slept in a caravan outside of the house. Yeah, Sylvie and Bill slept inside like people do. Did they have the bookshelf and the toilet? No, the other ones, Leonard and Joy,

they had a caravan outside. They slept outside the caravan, even though their house was lovely. And then they had the bookshelf in the bathroom. Like you'd go to the bathroom, sit on the toilet, and there was a full books, carpeted floors too, which I'm like risky as a young kid I was definitely

that was an era and you're like wow jeez this is carpet is soaking up a lot of stuff flood damaged carpet and a full bookshelf

of books that are like oh the books they could be in a library they could be in somewhere more prestigious did Leonard and Joy and Sylvie and Bill ever cross paths

yeah they did did they get along like a house on fire? They'd get on all good. Yeah, they would actually get on lovely as well. But yeah, some lovely old people names there for you for your Friday heading into the weekend. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. On your Friday heading into the weekend and on Sunday it is Daylight Savings

and we wanted to know over the weekend who's having the best weekend. Every year we confuse it. Every time Daylight Savings comes around, we confuse ourselves as a show. We're all here. Now, is it four till back? Joel's like, no, you missed the two o'clock hour in the middle of the night. What's happening? I think you do the two o'clock hour twice.

Oh, so you go. Just let me know. The cocks go back. There we go. I think. Yeah. We get more. I don't know. Anyway, and I don't know why we do it all the back. There we go. I think. We get more. I don't know.

Anyway, and I don't know why we do it all the time, but we're doing it anyway. But if you are having what you think is going to be the best weekend, give us a call. Oh, 800-THE-HITS or 4487 right now. Next, we'll give, we'll side on the best one and we'll give someone a prize. Yeah, and we just thought, you know,

someone who's going to be working really hard this weekend, the owners of the Clock Museum in Whangarei in Northland. Just a wonderful amount of clocks on there and you'd imagine Sunday they're just going to be Oh, for days going around. Thousands of clocks

just changing the time on all of them. We're just holding, I think we're on hold are we at the moment? We'll just go through the Clock Museum. I think we're on hold, are we, at the moment? We'll just go through the clock museum. Welcome to Clapham's Clocks. You're talking to Katja. The clock museum. Yes.

It's Jono and Ben from The Hits here. How are you? Good. Now, you don't need to take a big deep breath before you talk to us We're just thinking about daylight savings this weekend and it's a busy time for all of us changing our clocks but you at the clock museum it'd be a busy time

Oh not really Take it back Our clocks are all so old they can run their own pace and their own time. Oh, so all the clocks aren't even running the right time there? Not all of them. Oh, so it's not a nightmare for you. We thought you'd be turning them all back.

No, no, we don't have to. Oh, you've made it very easy for yourself then, haven't you? How many clocks have you got there? Over 1,400 pieces. Wow, so if you did have to change them, that would take you probably the time you changed them, you'd have changed them again six months later. But you have to see some clocks are so old they don't even work anymore.

They are nearly 100, 200 or 300 years old. So they did that duty. My grandparents used to have a couple of old clocks in their house. Every time I'd stay at their house, I did the ticking noise. Once you hear that tick, I found it really hard to go to sleep, so I'd take out the batteries. What are you like? Are you all right with the ticking?

Well, to be honest, I go home at night. I don't have to sleep here, so it doesn't affect me. What? You don't live in a clock museum? Way to ruin my childhood dreams. Yeah. It's lovely. Yeah, it's just nice.

It's all good. It's lovely along there, isn't it, where you guys are located, along by the water. You've got the lovely new toilets, I think, that's been opened to talk. It's lovely along there, isn't it? Where you guys are located, along by the water. You've got the lovely new toilets, I think, that's been opened up with a new building. Have you used the new toilet? Is it a new toilet or there's a new building? What's the guy who made the famous artist?

He's got a design. Oh, no, that's not a toilet. That's a proper museum. Oh, dear God, I made a bad mistake. That's a wonderful museum. Yeah, that's all right. Now you're telling me it's not a toilet. It's a cover, mistake. That's a wonderful museum. Yeah, that's all right. Now you tell me it's not a toilet. It's a cover cover.

That's not here. We have toilets as well if you're interested in that. I am interested in that. Even a lot more interested in knowing now that I went to it inside a museum. Yeah. Well, listen, quickly before you go too, a little debate, being that you're a professional timekeeper. I hope so.

I'm actually more here for the entertainment. Not from us. You're not getting any of that. How long does, when I say I'm going to be a jiffy, how long does that buy me? I would say probably five minutes. Five minutes. But then sometimes when you say I'll see you in five minutes,

you're never there in five minutes. How long does that buy you? I don't know. You guys here in New Zealand, you take a little bit different to other European countries, so you're there when you're there. Oh, we're there when we're there. Five minutes buys you 10 or 15.

Just park at the car, that's another one. That's another fiver. Where are you from? I'm from Germany. Oh, you guys, your precision. You know, you'll be on time. Yes, of course. You have to be working at the clock factory, I'm sure. Open the doors on time. Well, you're precision. You know, you'll be on time. Yes, of course. You have to be working the clock factory, I'm sure.

Open the doors on time. Well, we're not a factory. We're a museum. Yeah, German precision, mate. Okay? Don't you dare call it a factory. Did I? Sorry.

Apologies if I did. I'm lovely talking to you, and I won't be as busy as we thought it was going to be for you this weekend. Thank you, guys. Have a good day. Lovely to chat. See you. You too. See you. Bye. Oh, I ate 100 of the hats. There we go. That's what the clock museum people for you this weekend. Thank you, guys. Have a good day. Lovely to chat. See you. You too. See you.

Bye. Oh, 800 The Hits. There we go. That's what the Clock Museum people are doing this weekend. What are you doing? It's the best weekend. A vicious, no-holds-barred competition as to who's having the best weekend. You think the UFC's brutal?

Wait till you hear this. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We want to know who's having the best weekend. 4487, you give us a text or give us a call right now and you'll win a prize if judged who deems the best of having the best weekend. A lot going on this weekend right around the country. Big Super Rugby matches, Blues Chiefs in particular. Sympathy's going on in the domain and Ice Cube is even playing with Cypress Hill.

It's just going to be pretty awesome. Remember we interviewed him. It was thrilling but also I was worried that we is going to be pretty awesome remember we interviewed him it was it was thrilling but also like I was worried that we were going to for some reason

offend him or something but he was actually lovely he was awesome yeah you see well he gives off the vibe this you know he's easily offended you

I rapped in front of him I think my name's rapping Jono and I'm here to say this sort of stuff and he was like get the hell out and then I was like

delivered a joke that I found on the internet about an ice cube. It was like, I got into a fight with an ice cube once. Didn't last long because things got heated. And he was like, get out. And then that was kind of the end of it. It was good, you know. Yeah.

It was lovely. So yeah, best weekend. Welcome to the country, Ice Cube. It's lovely to have you here. Yeah, it's awesome. He definitely won't be listening to that message. So you can call us 0800 THE HITS. We've got some hell pizza up for grabs if you'd like to.

Maybe you've got recreational party, recreational playing, recreational recreation. We take it all. Debra, what is happening with you this weekend? Why are you having the best one? Oh, good morning. Well, we're off to Bali on Sunday for a month. Hang up on her. A month a month. Hang up on her. A month?

Wow. Hang up on her. I hear so many wonderful things about Bali. Everyone's like, oh, so good. It's so cheap. You can do this. And I was like, oh, it sounds awesome. It is awesome.

And so we've tried three times since 2020, and it's been cancelled. So this is the third time lucky. Oh, mate. Listen, Keaton, do me a favour. I've got a boogie board bag on mine. Yeah, no worries. You're getting back into boogie boarding. It's the best way to take a boogie board in a bag.

That's what I've heard. I thought if you take it over for me when I eventually get to Bali, the boogie board will be there. Ready to go in this bag. Ready to go. How about that? Deborah, you hold there, mate. That sounds like an amazing trip you're heading off on.

Briar, you're on from fielding. Welcome to the best weekend. Morning. How are you? We're doing well. What's happening with you this weekend, matey? Well, it's not actually me. I think I'm going to have a busy weekend, but my son Liam is here,

and he's going to have a pretty good weekend. Do you want to tell them why you're having a good weekend? Yeah. Yep. Having a birthday party. Oh, awesome. What is it? Is it a sleepover? Yes.

Oh, nice. Fun for you, shocking for mum. How many bodies have we got coming over? Five eight-year-old boy bodies. Oh, good luck. Good luck. We might need to prize for the pizza. This is where I believe there should be legal sedation for children.

Okay. Moments like this. Save that for the platform, mate. I'll get Plunkett onto it. We'll start it. We'll get some groundswell happening. Hey, hold there, Briar. Hayley, welcome from Christchurch.

What are you having the best weekend? I'm turning 40. Oh, happyar. Hayley, welcome from Christchurch. What are you having the best weekend? I'm turning 40. Oh, happy birthday. You having an eight-person sleepover or not? Oh, no, no. It's just me and a few friends having a get-together. Did you just describe? I'm trying to get very drunk.

Oh, you're going to get drunk. That's good. Maybe eight people might end up sleeping over. Maybe. Who knows? Hey, well, listen, we'll get you all back on. Briar, Deborah, Hayley, we're not going to go through this dance again. You're all going to win Hell Pizza, okay?

Oh, awesome. Thank you. Thank you. Well done. You guys sound like you're having a wonderful weekend. Enjoy. It's all thanks to Hell Pizza. Contactless delivery and pick up Home of the Best Damn Pizza.

I love that. We'll do that again next Friday. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Ben, someone's reached out to us, and this is a problem that needs to be solved before the weekend. We're joined by Lauren now. Good morning. I'm good.

How are you? Yeah, we're doing well. We're doing well. Well, better than you. You've got a hell of a conundrum on your head as well. Firstly, congratulations. You're getting married this weekend. Yeah, that's awesome. Thank you. Very excited. Well, better than you. You've got a hell of a conundrum on your head as well. Firstly, congratulations, you're getting married this weekend. Yeah, that's awesome.

Thank you. Very excited. Well, yeah. You're just sneaking in before, you know, the last weekend, before Daylight Savings. So, you know, nice time of year to be doing it. Weather's always more stable, they say, in March. But anyway, I don't know if that's the case this year.

You would have thought it would have been Jan Feeble to be a nice time of year to do it as well. Yeah, but so what's the situation? So basically, a few of my friends have given me a bit of a heads up that potentially another one of our friends is going to propose to her boyfriend at my wedding. And I don't know how to feel about that. Why?

Yeah, so taking the shine off your big moment. Yeah, that's kind of how I feel. So were you not meant to know about this? It was going to be a surprise, but it's sort of come back to you? Yes. Yeah, basically a few of my friends are a bit worried about it as well, so they've given me a bit of a heads up. Well, I guess it really, like you and your fiancé,

I mean the people that matters because it's your special day, how do you feel about it? Well, that's how I feel like it is our day and I feel like, you know, them getting engaged takes away from it being about us. Wouldn't you want your own special day, you know, when you get engaged? Yeah, I don't know.

But then I'm also like, should I just be happy for her and she's doing something really big and, you know, she's turning the tables, so I don't know. Here's my question. How close are you to her? We're pretty close. Right.

Could you do without her in the future? I mean, look, that's looking likely, isn't it? Yeah, because, I mean, if you're going to – it's probably a relationship destroyer, isn't it? Well, if you feel that way about it, you're kind of taking the shine off your day. Great play by them, though, to basically that you're funding their engagement party in a lot of ways. Literally, yeah.

I mean, they're going to have a beautiful setting, aren't they? Or are they splitting costs? Are you like, okay, well, you get everyone's meals and then you can do it? Then they can have, yeah. So obviously you know about it, but they don't know you know about it. Are you thinking you'll say something? I mean, where are you at? I honestly, like, help me. Give me some advice because I really don't know you know about it. Are you thinking you'll say something? I mean, where are you at? I honestly, like, help me.

Give me some advice, because I really don't know what to do here. My advice is, next, we call your friend. We hit her up on the radio. That's my advice. I don't know if that's advice you want to take. No, probably not the advice you want to take. That's where I'm at, Ben.

I see why you've got there, because you're doing this radio. A bit of juicy content. Yeah. If it's an issue for you, then you've got to confront it. You've got to mention something to her. But then it does make things awkward, doesn't it? And what if they decide on the day not to do it?

Then you kind of had this awkward conversation for nothing. Yeah. So what, are you taking the opposite to me? Has that ever been done on radio before? No. Someone's taken the opposite opinion? But what if it does happen, though, at the wedding? Then how does...

He's just got, I guess, I don't know. Me, personally, I don't like conflict. I would just roll with it. I'd be a little miff, but I'd be like, oh, well, it's my happy day. I'm going to keep ploughing on. But I understand there's a lot of people that would feel different.

Listen, we'll throw it out there. 0800, that, 4487. Lauren's got this intel. Does she confront her friend? Or does she just roll with it? If it happens on the day, then you can spend the next six months bitching about your friend behind her back. That's also another solution.

Option number three. Thank you very much. You tune in next. We'll try and get some results for you from complete strangers calling up a radio show. right thank you yeah help lauren out oh 800 the hits 4487 what should she do she needs to know new zealand so let's get to that the hits the jonathan ben podcast it's you and me life house it is the hits jonathan ben on your thursday morning 8 41 a cold morning right around the country and what i love about radio is we can get together and we can kind of help people out with things that they've got going on. So if you want to get in touch with us, you can do 4487.

What I love about radio is it pays me. For how much longer, who knows? Lauren, she got in touch with us. She's getting married this weekend and just found out through Intel, through friends, that her close friend is planning on proposing to her partner at her wedding this weekend. She's like, I'm not meant to know this. Do I hit her up about it? Do I be chill about it?

Don't worry. You know, there is a part of me going, life's a marathon, not a sprint. Yes, it's a blip. You'll be like, you'll be over it by the time you're 60, you know? Yeah, you're probably right. But again, it's a funny you can see. There's a lot of text correspondence coming through. Huge amount of text correspondence coming through.

A great one here. Well, let her do it. And then you just announce you're pregnant at her wedding. Bit of revenge. Tit for tat, eye for an eye. That's what we're after. I did suggest that we call the friend and confront the whole scene on the radio.

Yeah. That was my soulless radio brain thinking. A lot of text backing that in as well. Let's hear the results. Let's hear the results. Let's go to the phone. Chevelle, you're on from Auckland. Does she hit her friend up or leave it alone?

Oh, no. I think it's a hard no. And I think if the friend was that close with her, she should have asked her directly herself. If she doesn't want to hit her friend up, I think maybe she should be able to convince the friends that do know to tell the other friend that she should ask her herself. Yes, I see what you're saying.

That's a very smart play. The other option, too, is she then takes the bull by the horns. She goes talks to the friend's partner and says to him, say no. Oh, no, but that's not great. That's great. That's great. It's going to be more. You're waiting for me to know there's one that was.

Oh, that was a rejection. She ran out crying. Oh, no, you don't want that. So you're saying no, the friend shouldn't do it, and she should talk to the friend and say, hey, I'd prefer it not happening at my wedding. Yeah, or she doesn't want to let her know that she knows. Maybe convince the friends that do know to talk to her and say,

hey, maybe you should ask your friend. I don't think it's a great idea. That's a great idea. Chevelle, if you could stay on the phone too right now, we can just conference Chevelle up with Cheyenne. Cheyenne. Chevelle, if you could stay on the phone too right now, we can just conference Chevelle up with Cheyenne. Cheyenne. Cheyenne. Now, producer Humphrey, he's like, this is the greatest day of his life.

He's got a Chevrolet truck and he said, Chevelle and Cheyenne are both models of Chevrolets. Yes, and that's also my sister's name. Oh, really? It's only models he cares about too. He's like, models of cars. Leo DiCaprio, he's got his eyes

on other models. Producer Huffrey, eyes of Chevrolets. So there we go. This has been a bogan moment on the hits. Thank you very much. It has.

So Cheyenne, we'll keep chatting with you. The proposal at the wedding, does she talk to her friend about it, leave it alone? What's your thoughts? Talk to her friend.

Yeah, it's an absolute no for me so she hits her up as well but then that's the ben your nightmare the awkward conversation it's not my sweet spot you can do it nicely just like take her out for lunch and say hey look i've just been told and i really am feeling uncomfortable but uncomfortable about this. Who told you? You know, that's what that'll lead on to. Yeah, so that, Cheyenne, that's pretty reflective of what the audience is saying. It's not kosher to do, but we'll go to Ruth,

who's a wedding planner and not a model of a Chevrolet. Ruth, welcome. Hi there. You've planned weddings. Have you seen this at any events you've hosted? I have twice. People have proposed. Yeah.

And how does it go down? Well, one, so the guy that was going to propose had talked to the bride and groom, and they were completely on board because they'd been best mates forever. Gotcha. Okay, well, that's great. So that was perfect. The other one, let's just say, crap hit fan major. Oh, no. They still haven't talked 20 years later.

Really? Oh, that's so sad. You didn't plan that part of the day. Yeah. My biggest thing would be, look, talk to her and say, how would you feel if someone did that on your wedding day? Yeah. You're right. If you're fine with it, then that's all good all good but obviously in this instance lauren's not so cool with it so it's going to go down badly yeah and it's such a

personal thing like come on make it your own day go and organize something yourself don't be that bloody lazy sorry um no no no it's fair enough it's not hard. Do you know what? Ben thought he was getting married one day, and he was walking up the aisle, and then it turned around, and I was there. I was the bride. And I was, like, sucked in. It's a prank. And you started crying, and you're like,

I thought I was going to get married. And that's why we're together on the radio each day. Hey, Ruth, that's some good advice. So it seems like don't. Don't ever propose at someone else's wedding if you haven't spoken to them prior. Yeah, unless you've got permission. There we go.

Not to say that there's plenty of other days in the year that you get done. Maybe the next day or something is fine. Now, Jono, I want to give you the choice right now. Do you want to know what Brooklyn Beckham's up to?

Do you want to know what Johnny Depp's up to? There's your choices. Is there a third option? No. Not unless you want to. There's your choices. Is there a third option? No. Well, no. No. Not unless you want to play some ads.

Okay. Yeah. I always like to hear what Johnny Depp's up to. Okay. Yeah. Is he back on Pirates of the Caribbean? I'm not sure entirely about that, but he's living in the British countryside. He's gone to a place called Somerset. It's a really small little place.

He's bought a countryside mansion. Very small, sleepy little town. He's just gone off the grid, basically. He's like, I like it. I can go into the shops. I don't get pestered for selfies. I'm kind of a shy person, really, when it boils down to it. And yeah, he's just living in the British countryside.

Somerset, it sounds like a retirement village. Does he, so what is, but I imagine like if China, he's very free-flowing, like open shirts and scarves and mascara and earrings and bandanas and leather pants and things like that. He's wandering into the general store in Somerset. He's going to stick out like a... The locals, they probably look like the cast of Emmerdale Farm. Exactly.

It does look like a very countryside little town, and that's where Johnny Depp is these days. Far, far from Hollywood. Oh, good on him. When would you like to retire? Once all is said and done, Ben Boyce and I know you don't want to stop. You don't want to stop doing stuff. If you're employed or not employed until the

day you die, you just want to be doing stuff. But just imagine you've done all the stuff that life can do. Done everything. Where would you like to settle? I don't know. It's hard. Everyone always says for some reason I want to be by the beach, but I don't know. Do I want to be by the beach? I don't know. Do you like to settle? Oh, I don't know. It's hard. Everyone always says for some reason, it's like, oh, I want to be by the beach. But I don't know. Do I want to be by the beach?

I don't know. Do you like the beach? It's all right. I don't like sitting still on the beach. Like, we can do some stuff. We'll go for a walk. We can go check out some stuff. We'll play some activities.

I've got it for you. You're a camper van guy. I could be. He likes being on the go. He likes having other stuff to do. So you're just constantly on the move in a giant, inconvenient camper van, holding up other motorists, but that would wind you up too. It would.

You have to get up early, get on the road so you don't wind up too many people. You're right. You're going to drag a poor Amanda around in the camper van. That's exactly how you're returning. She'll want to just stay one place. She'll be a beach person. Yeah. She loves the beach, She loves the books.

Sit down and read them. What's better than one beach? Nine beaches in one day? We'll only see them briefly. Ten minutes per beach.