Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - What turned up on a man's front lawn?

Episode Date: June 3, 2024

Welcome to the untamed realm of the world's Wild Wild Web!  Today, let's dive into the fascinating story of a live fish that mysteriously landed on a doctor's front lawn! We'll explore how the doctor went above and beyond to ensure its survival.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today on the Wild Wild Web, what a man found on his lawn and decided to keep it. Welcome to the untamed realm of the world's wide web. A swirling vortex of weirdness, bullying and self-obsessed social media posts. In this digital jungle, Jono and Vienna are your fearless guides. Leading you through the wildest parts of the Wild Wild Web. This is the wild, wild web. Hello, amigos. Hola, amigos.

Hola. Lovely to have you with us at the wild, wild web. We're back after a long weekend. Three days on the trot. I could get used to a three-day weekend. There's a lot of discussion around the four-day work week and whether that's a thing in productivity with the companies that have trialled it. It's gone pretty well.

Yeah, it hasn't dropped off. I don't think a five-day-a-week radio show really works like that. No, you need to be here Monday to Friday, don't you? Yeah. So I think there would be other jobs for us if you wanted to go to four days. It's all those companies that are like, oh, we're so good and great with all our employees. And could you trust radio people?

No. Yeah, very untrustworthy bunch. I think that's kind of why our big bosses want us all to be back in the work. Well, I think when the Zoom even said, hey guys, we need you back in the office. And when Zoom is the one calling the people back into the office. Zoom, that would have dropped tenfold, wouldn't it?

Zoom usage. Yeah, I mean, still people use it, but you're right. Not like it was during that lockdown and lockdowns. A prolific rise, wasn't it? Teams. Teams is another one. Microsoft Teams. Oh, stop trying to make Teams happen.

Hey, people send you Teams. I'm like, I don't even know what that is. No, I don't want to download another app. Oh, yeah. Every time I go to go on it, you're like, oh, I've got a minute to go. And you're like, this is not logging me on. I've got to reach, you know. Straining. Just tell you what's a game changer. Bloody Google Meets. Oh, yeah. Not enough people use that, right? No, it's just a simple click and you're there.

Like there's nothing, there's no downloading, going to another window. It's bloody, doesn't get any easier. I love the first couple of seconds when someone does pop up. It's always the, oh, camera, oh, microphone, you know.

Microphone. No matter who you're talking to. I can hear you, I can't see you. Hang on a minute. Yeah, well, we're through there. Luckily,

we're through that for the most part. Now, Megan, the story that you've brought to the fold today. Yes. In relation to a man's front lawn. So, this is a junior doctor in somewhere um

and he has gone viral location clearly not important not important no um he oh he's in newcastle there we go he found out on his lawn and the reason he went out to his lawn because he heard lots of crows and birds squawking and he was was like, what's going on? Went out to his lawn and he found a goldfish flapping about. So the goldfish was on his lawn and it was also alive. Well, clearly the birds have something to do with it. Yeah, maybe. They've obviously swooped into a lake somewhere. Dropped it, unfortunately.

Okay, so the internet has had a long time to go over this and everyone's like, we have no idea where this came from. Did it fall out of the sky? Jono's like, oh, clearly the birds dropped it off. Yeah, I'm with Jono on that one. I think it's probably a... The culprits were there. A likely scenario.

Yeah. It looks like it's a goldfish, though. Like, it's a pet, right? Yeah, well, sometimes they have those ponds and gardens, don't they? Yeah, right, true, true. Otherwise, Nemo's really got lost trying to find his way home. He'll be like, jeez, I took a wrong turn somewhere. So he's kept it as a pet.

He has. So he texted his friend and he meant to say it's alive and it auto-corrected to it's Alice. So he's like, okay, well, Alice it shall be. Yeah, that's a cute name. He kept it. Yeah, nice. So he's got this little goldfish called Alice

and there was birds and um his cats were all swooping around trying to get to it i came home during lockdown i came home to a like quite a good sized baby goose on the doorstep and it was really weird because gosling yeah it was yeah did you call it right i should have called it right and gosling so i didn't say it was, yeah. Did you call it Ryan? I should have called it Ryan Gosling. It would have been a great name for it. So I didn't say it was Ryan's. I came home, gave me a hell of a fright because it was, yeah, and it was that eerie time when no one's around and we've got, you know, kind of a large sort of fence gate at the side. So it was like, and it wasn't flying.

Do you live near a lake? Not really. Not that close. I mean, within maybe a couple of kilometers. It was so weird. I was like, first thing I was like, this is a prank. And I was like, this is a weird prank if it is. So I was looking for the cameras.

And then I was like, and I went inside the house, the family were in their lockdown. I was like, do you know what's outside? And they're like, no. And I was like, come outside. And it was just sort of wandering around. And then we were like, well, we need to take it somewhere. What do we do?

And it was lockdown time. We rang that bird, like a bird place. And they're like, well, don't bring it here. And we're like, well, what else do we need to do with that? And they're like, all right, bring it here. And then we had to do like a drop off and they're like well don't bring it here and we're like what else we went to do with that they're like all right bring it here and then we had to do like a a drop off without you know like oh non-contact yeah drop off with it with it with ryan yeah but it was really weird yeah it was part of thinking i wonder what they taste like it was like a gift it was quite cute it was quite cute. It was quite cute. It was sort of just wandering around. It was like really weird.

And he put it in the car. It's honking away and all sorts. It's like, huh, huh? Yeah, trying to take it. Yeah, but hopefully he went to a better home. You know how aggressive those geese are, like at Western Springs? I'd be like looking around because the mum's going to kill you. Well, that's the thing.

Yeah, it was like, where's the mum? Where's the thing? But so I don't know you got attacked by a uh a ravaged geese was a swan it was uh it was dark it was a dark uh duck mother where i tried to save the the baby duck and put it back and then when as i went to put it back the mother just saw it and went you've you've got my you've got my like liam neeson you've got my child i'll come for you and yeah and it came for me and jesus gave me a fright. Swans are the worst. Those beautiful creatures are terrifying.

I hate them. They've got a chip on their shoulder, don't they, the bird community? Is that just a Western Springs and Auckland thing? Or are all swans that aggressive? I feel like if they're in public environments where they get fed regularly and people are around them a lot, they get rather cocky. They get quite arrogant, don't they? It's like, give me your a lot. They get rather cocky. Yeah. They get quite arrogant, don't they? It's like, give me your bread, bitch.

Or just give me your sandwich. I don't care if you're eating it. There you go. I was just trying to make a video. It's just sort of wandering around. Can you make it talk? Turn the sound off? I don't know.

Was he honking? I'll see if he's honking in this thing. I thought he would look more scared. It's like walking around. It's just sort of wandering around, yeah. I live here now. It was really weird. It was just on the driveway, yeah. Rightio. sort of wandering around, yeah. I live here now. It was really weird. It was just on the driveway, yeah.

Rightio, on that pet note, we're going to take a break from the Wild Web back after this. Welcome back. Do you think you should keep him? Well, I guess I could have. I thought it was a show goose. Yeah, you had a dog, a cat, and a bird.

Yeah, I think the dog was very keen to get outside and never I bet he was meet the I was like what's going on out there like looking through the window

I was like maybe that's not the best idea my dog would try and hump it death by humping was very very keen so yeah didn't go out the dog didn't get to meet the goose

but yeah I wonder where Ryan ended up yeah so it was like yeah there's like a bird place that you'd take it to but they didn't want it they didn't want it at first they were like oh we up Yeah So it was like There was like a bird place That you'd take it to But they didn't want it They didn't want it at first

They were like Oh we get so many It was like I could take it back To a lake somewhere And put it there But then I was like Is that the right thing to do

Because I don't know You don't want to like Deliver me a thing Because there's nowhere Near where I live I feel like those other birds Are so aggressive They're just like

You know Peek it to death Be like You don't belong here I love it how the bird sanctuary Is like oh we get so many so many birds why so many birds it's almost like we found like the like uh one time we were flatting it was like there was like a rooster that was far you know there is like that lake western springs that has a lot of them around there and we're like oh it must have got away from that. And so we actually, it was quite far away, but we're like,

so we went and took it down to a, down there by the lake, and it just walked across towards the road. It's like, mate, what are you doing? And then it just kept walking across the road. The cars were like, yeah, yeah. It was like, jeez, mate. Some of them can't be helped. Yeah.

It's like, this way, this way. But anyway, so obviously it's somewhere it needed to be. I don't know. The kids always try and find other pets around the household. And Poppy and her friend Zoe, they found a lot of praying mantis. Oh, yeah, yeah. They do that thing where they put it in the glass and put the glad wrap over it. I'm like, airflow, you need some oxygen.

And then like literally three hours later, they're holding a funeral for the praying mantis. They sweated it to death. But you do try, when you're young, if you don't have animals, try and turn anything into an animal, don't you? And try and save some pets, right? Yeah. Here's my pet worm. Pet rock. Some kids always bring a rock to pet day at school.

I remember that. Oh, your parents don't love you. Did you have animals growing up, Megan? I had a cat. Yeah? I had a cat. Yeah? I had a few cats, which is weird because now I'm really allergic. All right. Dangerous around, because you had a nude family too.

Cats bloody clawing away at bits and pieces. And yeah, Flick was, I don't remember our cat being particularly friendly. No, they're not for the most part. You can get lovely ones. Do you know, like, I wasn't allergic when I was younger, and I have a feeling I might have found it dead. And so people were like, sometimes you can get allergies from, like, trauma. That's really sad.

Why do you have a feeling you might have found it dead? Because I think I remember seeing it dead. Oh, you're quite young. Yeah. Yeah. I was quite young. I think it was just down the side of the house, like, dead. And I was like, I found Flick.

Or sleeping. One of the two. Yeah. That's pretty old. But, yeah, I remember a doctor was like oh sometimes that can happen like for trauma when you're younger you get like an allergy because now i wouldn't dream of having a cat like my find it hard to breathe and get all like that and yeah yeah yeah do you get rashy around cats yeah yeah same it's the oil they secrete isn't it like their what they lick on their skin or something yeah your cat you he makes you play hard he's playing yeah but you do you get suck it

back into it when he does want you oh mate this is great all right we're mess mates like i don't understand you pat them and they're like yeah i love this i love this and then they're like oh it isn't really history or anything nah he doesn't i actually i've never heard him hiss but um but yeah but he'd be he just would rather like, all right, I just want to be fed now. Give me some attention. Now I'm hungry. And then they just bugger off for a while. You're like, oh, okay.

He's a good little mate at four in the morning when you're up there doing stuff in the kitchen. He's like, all right, we're up. What's going on? You know, like we're hanging out. Oh, so he's up with you. Oh, he gets up with me. He came around. He's like, I always want some stuff from breakfast or whatever.

He's like, what are you going to drop for me? What are you going to drop for me What are you going to drop for me Doesn't he spend a lot of time At the neighbours Yeah he does That's a kick in the guts As a pet owner You're like

Oh you like them better Sleeping on their bed Are they feeding Oh really Yeah I know They're like Oh he comes over They have two

Well they did have two rabbits Now they're RIP They only got one But he would like Hang out with the rabbit What happened to the rabbit Oh no But he hangs out

They were friends together They would just like Hang out and play in the backyard until they weren't lying all like lying next to each other and stuff it's quite cute and the dog and the cat get on sweet which is quite surprising because the dog they'll fight um play fight and the cat's like i mean the dog could really like if he wanted to again he could crush him yeah but he's just like all right whatever dogs definitely talk like that, eh? I like it when other animals become friends. It's always cute on the internet, isn't it? It's cute.

There's this deer and this alligator. Sometimes we've got a big bed because our dog's big, and the cat will sleep in it, and the dog will be next to the bed. We're like, mate, you've really been kicked out of your bed from a little cat. I saw it. Was it you that showed me the monkey patting the bunny? Yeah, that was a cute one Yeah it was like

Carrying the bunny Like a baby Yeah I've got A little baby Yeah No that's Bloody cute But then a lot of times

They maul each other too As well Those cute ones Are few and far between Yeah Hey well That's been the Wild Wild Web today Not that wild

Quite wholesome actually But a wholesome pet content There you go Megan There's a putter They're sleeping on their bed Together mate There you go Yeah they used to're sleeping on their bed together, mate. There you go. Oh.

Yeah, they used to hang out together. They have a great time. Racist. Your cat and your dog are very white. They are very white. Racist. The one's got a lot of ginger markings, the cat. Oh, okay.

Sure. He's definitely got the Ed Sheeran gene in there somewhere. Whiter than the line-up of the hits, mate. Those animals. All right. Well, hey, thanks so much forup of the hits, mate. Those animals. Alright, well hey, thanks so much for listening to the Wild Wild Web. Thank you.

And have a great day.