Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Why Ben Was Trusted to Do a Gag Free Speech | FULL SHOW

Episode Date: May 26, 2026

On today’s show: The return of Le Snack sparks a chat about discontinued foods Kiwis want back Producer Grace’s chaotic car breakdown drama and roadside meltdown Ben's high school teachers trusted him to do a speech without any gags... The Principle was MAD Megan’s parents help with the kids but spoil them far more than she was growing up Listeners suggest excuses to convince partners about unnecessary purchases Ben calls his wife live on air to pitch the jersey and gets hilariously shut down Megan returns to run club (kind of) with a chaotic attempt involving her kids Join the Itty Bitty Hitty Committee HERE!Instagram:  @THEHITSBREAKFASTFacebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono, Ben & MeganSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The John O'Ben and Megan podcast, thanks to Dilma. Goodness really does taste great. Dilma, making the world a better tea. Snack, the Kiwi snack is back in supermarkets being made in New Zealand after it was discontinued in 2020. Apparently some supermarkets were importing some from Australia. That's why you might be confused that you might have seen it a little bit, but we haven't been making it since 2002. Until now, we brought the domestic product. Yeah.

So we are making a... Return of the snake. Come on. Return of the snake. Hey, day. Return of the snake. Produce the Troy. Return of the snack.

That's going on. He's written some songs. Return off the schna. You can get a snack. I like the background pad area. Here we go. I'll see what you've been doing. Oh, you're so good at a half.

You're so good at that. It was worth it. We've been to hope that. Green Party, new parody laws pass because we might be getting to see. A really French-sounding product, too, isn't it, LeSnack? You can imagine some marketing genius going, let's just chuck Lee in front of it. Right at the sophistication levels. A backbone of many school lunchboxes through the 90s.

Totally. Always felt like there was not enough cheese back in the day for Cracker ratio. But that maybe was just a teenager boy, being greedy, you know, wanting to, you know. But it was great. It was a staple. And, yeah, you're right. It's back again. we wanted to know what snacks would you like to return.

They'll have snacks back. What was something you'd like to resurrect? Bring back. I think we're all going to say tangy fruits, aren't we? Don't mind tanning fruits? Yeah, but the problem was we obviously didn't buy enough of them for them to keep tangy fruits on the shelf. Yeah.

So even if they came back, how many tangy fruits are you going to buy, you think? Like all the tangy fruits. For a little bit. Did you buy them outside? Because for me, they were really a movie snack. You'd go to the movies and they were a real... Well, I don't remember them being anywhere else. I remember like Blockbuster and United

Video and had them and stuff, but again, that was in that movie world. Was that their issue? You weren't supplying them everywhere. Like you only put them at the movies. You couldn't get them in the movies. Yeah, true. They really did, they've pigeonholed themselves, didn't they, for the distribution.

Yeah. Master had wooden floors at the movie theatre at the time. They were like sort of stairs that go down, and you'd stood at the back and you'd drop a, drop one and see if it could roll. You hear it, it's going, it's going, it's going. Oh, and it'd stop as it would go under the seats all the way, see if you get it to the bottom. That was a fun long ago.

That must have been the bane of the preys. owner of the Masters and Movie Theatre. Just cleaning up the 300... Maybe that's the reason. Maybe that's why it stopped. Got the little weapons too in the darkness of a movie theatre. They were tasty, eh?

Were they? But, like, maybe they could just bring them back in a packet, you know? Like, they don't have to be in that plastic tariff. And the plastics are the thing that would rattle around and stuff. But yeah. Geez, if I could bring anything back, it'd be the boom of chewing gum, airwaves.

Oh, I love me in airwaves. Oh, is that gone? Yeah, that disappears. Yeah. Oh, geez. It was quite burny. Yeah. Yeah, it was.

It really was like pepper spray for your nostrils. It really did, yeah, they took it off. Maybe it was too powerful. Too powerful. Too much menthol running through the airwaves. It was an interesting thing, wasn't it? It was like chewing gum butt combined with Vicks. Just to clear out your system.

You're like, tiny, can I do one or the other? But they decided that we'd combine it. Yeah. It was really powerful. You're right. Because all of a sudden like hair colors, it was so strong that stuff. So maybe there's a good reason it's not on the market. So this is what we're going to do.

0800 of the hits 4-487. You're bringing snacks back. The snack back to reality. Oh, there goes tangy fruits. Oh, there goes seasies. They choke them so mad. What? What a snack would you like to bring back?

John O'Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Now about what snack you'd like to bring back after the snacks and return to Kiwi supermarket shelves. The snack back. Goal on the floor. A snack back.

Give me some more. The snack back. Producer Joyce has made some parody songs. us. Have we done them? Oh, one more to go. There's a genius. Yeah, we asked for two. He's still a little bit five. He's still a genius, but they've done this very funny. Oh my God, I think that's up.

Snack, city chips. Snack, snack, city chips. 10, 10, 10 dollars for some chippy chips. Thanks to mustard being on the beat there. So good, so good. So what snack would you love to return? There's so many calls and texts coming through. We might have to come back to this later. All right, listen, good morning.

Happy New Year. Happy New Year. What are you bringing to the party? What are we bringing back? Snifters. I love sniffters. Oh, I missed them so much, man. I used to love sucking the chocolate right down to the centre.

They're the best. Yeah, suck the chocolate off and then it has the chewy centre. Well, it was a box of sniffers you'd get for a while there too. And then you could get a bag. Yeah, exactly, yeah. There was just so many elements to them. Yeah. Quite minty sort of thing, weren't they?

Minty chocolate. Who doesn't like mint chocolate? No, I'm not saying. didn't like it. I was just trying to describe the taste for those who haven't tried it. It is slightly controversial, McCholet. I'm scared to say I don't like McCholk right now. Okay.

But it's how it's all different tastes. It's for different people. Exactly, yeah. Obviously, not enough people. We clearly weren't going to. RIP, yeah. The Mars bar ice creams comes through from Ken on the text. Yeah, that wasn't bad.

That we're good. That wasn't bad. Brendan, morning, mate. Good, mate, how you going, all right? We're bringing snacks back. What is it going to be? Well, we're not. We probably won't, to be honest.

Oh, come on. The old clinkers. Oh, clinkers, yeah. They brought them back for a bit, eh? And then they went. Yeah, they did. Massive in Australia, the clinkers, because the TikTok trend. Yeah.

Do you know what, Brendan, at the New Zealand Lolly Place, Macy's, they make great, like, gummy lollies. They make a version of clinkers. They're called fruit crackers. So you can buy them from Macy. Do they have different colors inside? Because the TikTok trend was like, if this clink is pink, I'm going to do whatever, and they bite it. into it and they'd have to do something.

So that's why it became big on TikTok. Yep, all different colors. Well, there you go. We can do that. The other things I was going to say is the old milk bottles for Pascal. They changed her recipe ages ago. They did, didn't they? Yeah, and they're just, they're horrible.

There goes to feedback for Pascal's there. It's not eating plastic. Some of the pods, they disappeared recently, didn't they? But you can still, there's some entrepreneurial dairy owners who are selling pods for $13 a packet. Oh, wow. 13 bucks. Rita, morning to you. Morning.

What are you missing, mate? We're bringing snacks back. Yeah, Monster Munch Chips. Oh, Monster Munch. Oh, like a little, they were kind of like Biggin's style. Yeah, little, little feet, round circles. Yeah. Yeah.

Was it, Biggins gone too? Biggins. I think so. I think they're gone, yeah, but Monster Munch. Also, in the Chip Wheelhouse, do you remember, Aztec Corn Chips made the natural way? Yeah. Do the song with the voice.

As Tech, Corn Chorn chips. Made the natural as Howard's singing in 2026. Same as CCs, I think, they went from New Zealand as well. Doritos came in. Oh, is that what happened? The other really good one was Pac-Man chips. Oh, I don't remember those. What were they?

Oh, back in the 80s. Okay, and what? They looked like Pac-Man. Pac-Man, yeah, Pac-Man and Ghosts. Oh, that's cool. I remember there was a pink packet of chips and you used to get them often at tuck shops in schools, and it was sweet and tangy flavour.

Oh, yes. They were the best. Yeah. I don't know why they get rid of certain chips. Well, probably because they're not selling enough of them. Keep her around just for us. Return of my snack. Come on.

Return of my snack. Well, the snack is back. Because it's coming through. What snacks? Would you love to see return to Kiwi Shelf? John O'Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits.

Grace, shocking day. Well, we don't know, haven't heard this firsthand, only through Megan and the comms you had with her. today. I was driving my flatmae. We were like, oh, let's go supermarket shopping. We have no food at home. Still not have any food at home.

No food at home. Let's go. And we... Okay, it started... Maybe you can take a breath. Take a breath when you tell you this story. The worst part that started is I was stuck behind the oldest person who's driving 30 in a 50. So I was already a bit like, oh, my God.

So where was that, so you were driving? I was driving to the supermarket with my climate. And then we stopped at the lights and I was like, that's not funny. And then I turn back on again. And then it turns off. I'm still stuck behind this old person who clearly hasn't moved forward enough so the lights aren't like... Oh, trigger.

So I was like, oh God, and about 10 times my car turned off and I was like, I have no clue what's happening. I started, oh my gosh, reversed, pulled over. As soon as I pulled over, smoke started coming from the front of my car. I was like Amelia, get out, get out, get out. So I know who Amelia is, but Sarah. Mealy's my flame maker. I'm loving the regaling of this tale. So I got out, I called Luckily Roadside assistance.

Love it. The guy came, he's like, you're going to have to be towed buddy. And I was like, he's like, your belt is gone. And I was like, what is about? You can belt. Okay, whatever that is. My dad's gone. This is about an hour in.

He's like, you have to wait for the tow truck. To truck takes up an hour. So I'm just like, I was like, you go home, Amelia. Like, I'll sit by myself on the side of the road. So I'm absolutely spiraling. This is not slow. This is not sorry. I'm spiraling on the side of the road.

I waited like about 40 minutes into my, one hour and 40 minutes into my whole debacle. I got the worst text ever being like, grace, it's time for your cervical exam because you're 25. And I was like, this is not the time. I'm, it was just like the one. And then I sent Megan a message, be like, because I was just really stressed about my cervical exam after all of this. And it was that fast. I played it to my parents.

It was that fast. I was in a voice message. Yeah. I wasn't sure if she was crying or not or laughing. I couldn't tell. I think I was crying laughing. I was a lot of emotion. So finally about two and a half hours I got back home with no groceries.

And where's the car now? At a auto shop. Oh, got towed. Yeah, got towed, guys. And so you're getting a new cambell? Yeah. Well, someone said, who was saying you pulled out of the car park yesterday? your car was making big screech.

Yes. When you turn it on, it's like, yeah, so it didn't sound great. Well, because I actually topped it up with a bit of oil yesterday. I put a little bit of it in because I was like, it's screeching. It's probably the oil. Why would the oil be screeching though? I googled it.

I googled it. And I was like, can it screech because of low oil? Because my car runs through oil quite quick. And it was like, yes. So turns out no, because the bell was just like just degrading. Yeah, sometimes it was car noises. Just intergrading. Just turn the hits up a little bit louder.

when you're driving. And hopefully the noise will go away. It'll sort itself out. I was so embashed because I could hear it was squeaking that I did exactly that. I was like, you didn't like think to ask someone who knows about cars. No, I was going to go home and call my dad. So, because in my head, he knows everything about cars. But you didn't?

Well, but I got to the point where my car broke down. Megan, okay, I was getting there. We'll take a breath. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hit. My daughter's been, kind of like your husband, been in a musical theatre production recently.

Which one? Lamez. She did Lamez. She'd been away for six weeks? No, no. But they had eight shows. It was pretty, yeah, it was full on. It's made a show.

She played. She played Epinine. Yeah, so one of the leads of that. Yeah, the kids were incredible. But it's part of it, as part of it, they had to do just four of them. So two from the boys school and two from the girls school had to go and perform for the assemblies. Oh, both schools. Yeah, both schools.

Oh, God. So, yeah, so no, you know, when you go see the show, there's lighting, there's orchestra, there's all the bells and whistles and stuff. And people are going to it, you know? Yeah. You haven't accosted the audience. Yeah. And this is turning up going a cappella. Yeah, like, lights.

With people that haven't asked for it. Lights on, you know, nothing, you know, in the middle of the day, assembly, she had to do that when we were talking about it. And it went, you know, relatively, well, as far as those things can go relatively well. But she was a little bit nervous, not, you know, performing on stage, but just like this is a really. Having to go to an all-boy school and perform. And they get up and do that. Good on her. Same thing again.

What a hero. Yeah. So, but she asked me if I'd ever done anything like that at school. And I mean, I was no singer. I said, and I never did anything. And I went, you know what? And I've forgotten about this. I ended up, we did like a geography trip, I think, year 11, which in fifth form or whatever.

And when they came back, they were like, someone needs to get up and talk about the trip in front of the whole assembly. And Ben's like. Oh, no, I didn't volunteer myself. You'll do it. You do it. You like getting up. You can talk. I was like.

I could talk. Yeah. So I think they wanted a bit more of a serious sort of thing about the clay, your rock formations that we learned about. You know, we did a lot of hiking and a lot of things up in our mountains. Well, if that's what they wanted Ben, you're the wrong guy. But I went gag.

You're like, this isn't what the people want. They want to be entertained. And I went gags. They went nothing but gags. Kind of like the roast of Kevin Hart sort of thing. And I was like, jeez. With less racism, I hope. Yeah, a lot less racism.

But what would happen is when I went to do the sort of speech, you're standing in front of the whole school. It's quite a nerve-wracking thing, but you've got all the teachers behind you. So I couldn't gauge their reaction. And so I just went, and I did it. I was thinking about it. I went gags.

I was a friend of mine, good friend of mine. He was quite salivary when he talks and stuff like that. And so I was like, you know, we walked up this mountain, but it was great because we just had him at the front and he talked lots and we just had like a slip and slide on the way down. You know, things like that. They were gags. And it was killing it with the audience.

But not killing it with the teachers. And part of the funny stuff, because I thought I was getting great laughs. but mainly they were just laughing at the principal getting madder and madder and madder at me behind. And I had no idea. And you know what other then? I was just like, jokes that I was like, maybe I won't do that. I was like, no, I'll definitely do that because this is going great. I got in so much trouble afterwards.

Was this before or after you set the hall on fire? This before too. That was just, again, for entertainment purposes, not trying to cause issue. But, geez, he was not happy. He just pulled me aside to us. He was like, no, one thing was serious in that whole speech. Not one. I'm like,

you're right, actually. The saliva slide's quite a funny. The slippet slide. That was what I remember. There was other stuff. Ben will do anything for a gag. Anything for a gag. But I was like,

oh, you look at the numbers. How many were out in the audience and how many were behind you? Exactly. That's probably 1,000 in the audience. There you go. Yeah, they were laughing.

Mainly because the principals getting really, really mad at me. So, yeah, I said to my daughter, I was like, that's the worst that could happen. So, yeah. Don't do any gags, you'll be right. John O'Benn and Megan, the podcast.

The hits. Comedian Ursula Carlson, she was, ran into her in the street yesterday. So she's on one side of the road, I'm on the other. It's your classic pedestrian crossing scenario at an intersection, okay? And I don't know what on earth came over the both of us. But we started having a conversation on opposite sides of the road. Right. So she's seen me, I've seen her.

Hey, how are you going? Good, thanks. And then, I don't know, who continued the conversation on? What are you up to lately? Probably be. Probably me. And it got to a point where you were like, this is ludicrous. It felt like the car, the motorists in the cars were watching a game of tennis,

watching the conversation bounce back and forth across the road. Did you have to wait for cars to go past? No, they were all waiting at the lights. Oh, stationary cars, okay. The other lane was going. And it got to a point where both of us, I think, internally went, this is utterly ludicrous. We can't have a conversation 30 metres apart,

yelling across the road at each other. And so then you do what most adults do when anything awkward happens is, avoid eye contact. And you're just like, I'm looking at buildings, I'm looking at the white lines on the road, just staring around, just praying for the button to go, the crossing to,

and it never came. It felt like it never came. Phones one too, the people often will do, yeah, you'll know, so just go to their phone. Lovely little diversion.

Yeah, something to just, look like, I've got something important to do all my phone. It's the ultimate safety blanket at the phone now, isn't it? It's so awkward, like, to have a conversation and then when it's ended,

you're still there, like, I know. It's so awkward. And there wasn't much more we had to say in that environment. You're not really peeling back the layers across the road from each other, are you? And then so the buzzer, obviously, the crossing finally went. And then we kind of hugged in transit. Still moving.

Still moving. Talking over each other. You know, all text, you get to zh-o-d-d-d-d-lumble in a way. And then you go on your way. And I was like, that was one for the books. How do you mindy end up in a stand-up bit? Yeah, true. Supermarkets, the other one, we talked about many times,

when you run into someone. It's great. And then you see them every aisle as well. That's always that. The lady the other day was really good. I ran into her. And then the next aisle, she goes, oh, we're doing the thing.

And she's front foot in. I acknowledge it. Yeah, we're going to see each other. Well, I'll see you in the next aisle. And I was like, great. Then we were like, oh, we sort of get. And that was good. Because we were like, we didn't have to say anything more.

I made it a bit. I appreciated it. So we go again. Sometimes you find yourself jumping here to the Frosons, don't you? you go to the opposite end just to work your way back. Yeah. It's worse when that's someone you don't want to see

and you're like, God, it's a maze now. I'm going to definitely connect somewhere. Somewhere, yeah, right. Well, because all the conversation you'd ever have in that setting has done, it's done in the produce. Yeah. We've first seen each other. Yeah.

And for that point, huh. Yeah. I know. You make that. You only say words. Yeah. Oh, it's just, it is. Hey, next, your parents, Megan, they're staying at the moment,

helping you're out. and they're doing something that's John O'Benn and Megan The podcast The Hats. Morning Megan, your parents are kindly helping out at the moment at your household.

Yeah, we've mentioned a couple of times my husband's away and my parents have come up to help me. How are they finding because they're usually based in Nelson. Yeah. How are they finding it? That's weeks and weeks away from home base.

Yeah, mom was quite worried about her plants. Yeah, I'd imagine they'll be, all they'll be thinking about is all the chores piling up at home, all that grass growing. Yeah, that's basically. Yeah, the babies are in a bath of water. So hopefully they're still alive when she gets home.

The plants? The plants. Not your kids. Oh, no. No. No. I was like, probably should get the kids out of the bath. But it's been a while since they've dealt with young ones.

And I've got a three-year-old and she is a three-nager and I feel bad because she, there's a lot of big feelings happening. And my parents are like, ah. But. How are they going? They're coping all right? Yeah, they're navigating it well. but there's one thing

because they take them to school they do every morning they do the school run my parents I like to think that the kids act a bit better for them

yeah sometimes that happens with the kids right yeah because they you know they don't play up as much to

they can get away a bit more with the parents they kind of know yeah hopefully well you end up with two different types of new people

in the house you don't know who these kids are acting in front the grandparents and you don't know who your parents are

yes that's what I want to talk about so my parents we did And all I ever wanted when I went to school was like bought things. My mom used to make these like epic meat and salad sandwiches with like pepper on them. And I was like, I just want peanut butter. And I was really ungrateful.

Mom used to do heaps of baking and I was like, oh, I just want a roll up or, you know, what do everyone else have? Packets of chips. I just want that. And we never got it. And now, like, I've been doing, but you know me, I bake the kids cookies. Handware, everything. I made some biscuits.

I made some biscuits, like chocolate marshmallow biscuits for Bastie. Like, I spent ages on them and for his lunchbox. Could have just bought a pack of marshmallows. Didn't. Well, that's what my mum's done. Ah, wow. She's buying them all kinds of biscuits, the hundreds and thousands one. Like, kids love those because it's got pink icing and sprinkles.

They've become the fun version of themselves. Yeah, they do that, though, I, they're great-prints. I'm like, excuse me, where is all the, and they're, like, playing with them. I was like, I don't remember you ever doing a puzzle with me. but that's fine. Would you like to do this puzzle now? There's Thomas the Tank Engine puzzle. I'd like you two to sit down and do that tonight.

And they're like navigating, you know, like I said, big emotions like in a calm way. But I remember being told like, shush, seen and not heard. And I'm like, this is not someone I recognise. Yeah. It's a sick form of punishment, isn't it? They high impact players off the family tree, the old grandparents. They come in, the diet plan goes out the window. You're like, I remember being forced fed asparagus.

Brustle's grass. shoving timetams in their gob at nine o'clock at night. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Where was my hundreds and thousands? Yeah. And I dare not say that right now because they're helping me out, but it's in the back of my mind.

Mom will do that now. Oh, one more won't hurt them. And I'm like, well, it was this for a bit when I was. You ever get there? Let them live. Let them live. Oh, he's straight. You didn't let me live.

Yeah. Okay. So are your kids getting better treatment than you did from the grandparents? How are they spoiling your kids? And you're like, excuse me. I never got any of this. John O'Ben and Megan The podcast

The Hits We're on the hits And we want to know What are your grandparents doing to the kids That may be They're getting special treatment They spoiled them More than they spoiled you

When you were young That's what you're dealing with right now In real time Was your parents pretty strict on what you ate Like in comparison Even we weren't allowed much tomato sauce Like they'd police the tomato sauce You get a little squirt

Oh right The distribution was Would they squeeze it themselves on to the, you didn't have control of the bottle. As we got old, we were allowed control, but they supervised. They supervised. I remember my mum exactly same,

very strict on what we sort of had of all the healthy foods and stuff, which makes sense. But then when she becomes a grandparent, and you'd get a little sleep and she's like, I'll do it with the kids in the morning when they're young. And I'm like, what have they had for breakfast? And she'd be like, oh, we just had a hot chocolate and a couple of biscuits.

I'm like, first thing in the morning. What's this? What are you? And she'll say, oh, that's what they wanted. Just a little treat. Just a little treat. You raised me like a military operation. It's like, there's never any of that for me.

Vicstar, happy new year to you. Happy New Year. Are your kids getting treated better than you were? Well, I just had the one, but me and my siblings have all had children. When we were growing up, our dad would buy us one happy meal for the three of us to share, fighting over who had so many sips of the drink and who had so many. chips and we had the biggest bite of burger. Who got the toy?

Oh no one got the toy because we would fight over it until we'd get discarded. He managed to turn a happy meal into a sand meal. He's just chucking a grenade in the car. Yeah, but no, grandkids all get their own happy meal now. Oh, right. So they get their own

one. You guys have to share. And they get the toy. Three to one happy meal feels like that's good. How long would you evenly distribute the chips? but, you know, then it was the length of the chip meant that maybe you get too shorter chips if someone had a longer chip. Yeah, really launched a grenade into the back of the car

your dad did there. How do you cut a cheesy bee into thirds? Yeah, yeah. Someone's always going to have a big bite. Yeah. Hey, Vicki. Appreciate you coming on the show, are you going to have a wonderful Wednesday.

All right, man, Nikki. How are you? Oh, yeah. Good, good. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. We understand from the grandparents' POV. Yeah.

Yeah, just going to do whatever is required, really, just to keep the happy grandchildren. To be, in my defence, in my defence, my grandbabies live in Sydney, so I don't get to see them often, so they're not kind of used to me. But, yeah, Bex leaves, that my daughter Becky leaves instructions, and I'd laugh, I smile, and just go, yeah, I'll do whatever. Smile and nod. You come over like a generous hurricane. You'll make it rain.

Absolutely. And then you don't have to deal with any of the fallout, though. What's the wildest thing you've done for the grandkids that you know your daughter wouldn't appreciate? To be honest, I'm not probably as bad as all that. But they get loads of rubbish little presents from Timo just for fun, and they're not about the clutter, so we've had to cut out that. The naughtiest thing really was we had a movie night. So I set the kids up on their beanbags with a little.

treat and they were wonderful all night in the next morning that they said oh man I really gave us treats last night I gave them a little bowl of lollies like with a snake and maybe a couple of blocks of chocolate and you know a couple of m and ms and they thought they were spoiled and I'm like what do you give them and she said they would have got one snake I'm like geez oh geez you're running a tight regime here. Is this North Korea? Wow. Hey, good on you, Nicky.

Grand parents are going to keep spoiling. That's what's going to happen. John O'Ben and Megan. The podcast. Now, Megan, I feel like maybe you can help me out here. You know, when you want to buy something and, you know, you're in a relationship. And, you know, I can buy stuff. I work on my own money.

But at the same time, I'm also conscious at the moment that things are tight around the place. And so maybe this isn't an essential purchase. A new warrior's top. I'm going to say it's not. Having looked at every part, every bit of your Warriors merch that you brought into the studio, I've got a bit. You're well catered for.

The problem is not my problem. It's the problem it's the problem. Because they are just making some great top after great top. And they're bringing out some great merch at the moment. That's not a good argument. And I can't help it. I'm like, I've got tops I love. And then I see a new one.

And they've got one for the Christchurch game coming up with, you know, it's a throwback, a bit of a red and a black top. And I'm like, oh, that's cool. Is that what you said to your wife? dynasty's fault they keep bringing out good tops because that's not a good argument. It's almost like they want to turn a profit or something. I don't know what's going on. So I haven't broached this

subject with my wife yet. Because you know the answer. Because I know the answer. I know I probably could sneak out and try and buy one but I feel at the same time she's going to know that. I've tried that last time going and I've had this one for ages and you know she knows.

I don't want a stereotype but I imagine there's lots of women that can help you right now including myself. Yeah, what do you do in this situation? So I, for you, I would pitch it like, you don't, you're not a heavy substance user of any kind. Not heavy light. It's not like your... That would actually be more beneficial to the family because leaf house six beers, you'll be quite agreeable.

He's like, yeah, yeah, you can do that. You can do that. That's better than a warrior's addiction. You know, there's nothing in your life that you're spending a lot of money on. No, I'm not out of golfing all weekend or, you know. Although can I pitch that? Probably should get Botox, right. No.

You're not, you know, you're not doing like a lot of beauty treatments or any kind of. kind of treatments. Sounds like I should be, yeah. So you want him to lead a conversation, go, listen, I'm not an alcoholic. No. I don't play golf. I think you should say this is your only vice. This is the one thing that you want to spend your money on and is like special to you.

That's quite good. Along with relentless pranking. Yeah, pranking. That's the other thing as well. And costumes. Yeah, true costumes. Funco pops. I mean, it's not as if you're not even spending lots of money on your hair.

You're just like, like, we would go get cuts and colours and all kinds of things. Yeah. He's saying it all evens out on the spreadsheet. This is the one thing, you know, that you can keep as your luxury item in this time. I like you. You've sold me. You've sold me. But it's enough.

Plus, do you ever read and black one? No. No, don't, Megan. You're right. I'd use that. Megan's convinced me. But is this the way, would this work on my wife? Now, what are you, yeah, what, like Megan, is this what you would use to your partner?

Yeah, I try and find an angle every time. So, do you know, like, I don't know if he's cottoned onto this, but every time he buys clothes, I buy clothes straight afterwards because I feel like he can't say anything It's in the slip stream of his purchase He's like I bought a couple of t-shirts And I liked and then some shorts And I was like

And he goes, I hope that's okay And I'm like, that's totally fine babe And then the next day or two I'll go buy some clothes Because he can't say anything That's really good So encourage a manner to buy something Yes, you could do that

There geez, we're learning a lot here Also the classic, I got it on sale Yes I've had this for ages Yeah So, 0800 The Hits, what's the excuse you use? I think what we can do is we can get our wonderful audience on the phone. We'll have three of the best excuses.

You phone Amanda and we'll just, we'll send them in for you. John O'Benn and Megan, the podcast, The Hits. I'm learning a lot this morning about how to try and see if I can justify a purchase for a Warrior's Top that I want to buy. I don't know deep down, I don't need it. Genuinely, this would be like the, what number piece of merch if you were to add it to the connection. Oh, merch-wise, lots of merch. Top-wise, maybe.

8, 8, 8, 9, you know, like tops of tops. You know, I've got track suits and all sorts of that. He could come dressed as a warrior every day of the year in a different outfit. But it's a cool top. You guys were looking at yesterday. It's a cool top. And I'm like, oh, it's cool, but it's, yeah, I know. I don't.

How much is it? I think it's 150, probably. Because we kind of have a rule. He's already rounding down. He's already rounding down. I know how much it is. You know. I don't know.

You're not trying to, you don't have to convince me. Yeah. I don't know, I don't know what it is. I mean, I got on sale, Megan. I got it in sale. So this is we want to know this morning. It's a new toffin. It's already on sale.

Funny, I got it on sale. I used a discount code. Oh, yeah. Is that good? That's not bad. That's not bad. So we're trying to come up with excuses. Reasons that you pull out to bring new items into the household to convince your partner.

We've got Cassie with us. Happy New Year to you, Cass. Happy New Year. What do you use? So what could I say? Well, this might be more of a plan B, but if your justifications don't work, then you've always got Father's Day coming up in the future. and I use Mother's Day

when I see something that I want I just ask the son and the husband to buy that for me so it's your backup win-win That's a good idea Okay we've got Father's Day's all sort of To be honest that they don't really do Yeah that's nice they appreciate it

But it's not Maybe I could start with this tradition Of Warriors tops of Father's Day Why don't you go You've never treated me on Father's Day Put the gilts on And you can also compare it to you How many pillows have we got in the house?

Oh yes, despite pillows Yeah That's variations of the same thing. This is just like the display pillows. I feel like that's going to start a separate argument. You don't want to make her angry. No, true. It's a good example.

Get her on side. Yeah, someone's texting through saying, I say you need it for work has come through as well. Megan said obviously that I don't have any other real vices or anything. But then I remembered your costumes. You've got multiple vices. Let's her jump to that conclusion. Those are the ones that we only know about.

Yeah, exactly. Michelle with us, what do you use? Michelle, what can Ben use to get this Warriors top across the line? Well, it's not me, it's my husband. He loves doing up old cars and currently is doing a 68 Mustang. And he convinced me that he found a better motor, but the catch was he'd have to buy the entire car to get this better motor. It's a great backstory.

Great backstory. Yeah. Apparently he's selling the car to get some of his money back. But you'll believe it when you see it. sort of thing. Exactly. We have three cars now that he's got here at the moment. It's an investment.

It's an investment in your future, Michelle. That's what that is. Uh-huh. That's what he tells my daughters too. Yeah, this is what you'll take. You know, these will be worth hundreds of thousands of years to come. I just see his three cars and think of all the shoes I could buy. Yeah, that's true.

I don't have a red one as well as that, you know, I've got warreous, but I don't have red one. I don't wear them with red on it. Yeah, it's not as if it looks the same as the other ones. Should we try a couple of these? Should we try and call my wife Amanda and see if this work? I don't hold much hope. Good luck.

We'll stay out of it. Oh, geez. She might be a bit suspicious. She's calling her midway through the radio show. Do you want me to jump in if you need help or not? Yes, yes. Oh, absolutely. I'm going to flout.

I don't even know where to start. You know who we're getting to do this, right? Someone's saying just buy it and then ask for forgiveness later. If you record your name and reason for calling, I'll see if this person is available. Tudence to call her. Never been screened before. Hey, it's me.

It's your husband. Don't scream me. What happens now? Is this going through to her? Just stop talking. It's just got to register. For how long for? Thanks.

Please stay on the line. Right. Hello, Amanda speaking. Hey, how's it going? Hey, good. How are you? Hey, good. Sorry, just a quick call at the moment.

Yeah, look, I was thinking about, potentially getting a warrior's top. Just wait. Just wait. What's it? I've been in the car. They've just dropped out door to school. The entire prelude to this chat.

He's not an alcoholic. No, I've got no vices. Megan, you're dead to me. Oh, Amanda! Oh, my God. I don't have a read one. All the way, the girl girl calls. That's true.

I'm sorry, Amanda. I need it for work. I need it for work, Amanda. Blah, blah, blah. Darling, you have. got over 10 Warriors Teess tops. And it's not like I don't wear them, which is great. But if you're going to get one, get it in my size and get the orange one, because I love the

dark one. But you've got a tacksuit. You've got beanie. You've got a scarf. You've got hats. Undies. You've got drink bottles. I only know that because we bought them for a warrior.

That's weird. No, that's weird too. Anyway, I think you would look great in the red one, Amanda. I think the orange one, it glows in the dark. Go with that one, Ben. How many pillows are in the house? Yeah, how many of those are in the house? Who let the mantel?

I do love you. I do love you. Okay, okay, so that's not a no, but it's... She's my favourite boys. No, it feels like a no. It feels like a no. Anyway, Father's day's coming up, so, you know, hey. It's coming in a size small, which we're probably both fit, to be honest, and I go on the dark one.

Yes, but otherwise... You are so full of warriors gear. Okay. No, I guess that's right. You're like a walking advertisement for them. All I'm hearing is yes, Ben. It's all right. What would happen if he bought it?

Nothing much. I'll get that to what I need to know. It's not grounds for divorce. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. Megan, speaking of highly tuned athletes, finally tuned athletes. Thank you.

Over to you. I mentioned, while I was on my little holiday a couple of weeks back. I started run club. So it's a community activity where I am. You put it on social media. You put it out to the world. Well, because I was running. You could have just run club just to yourself. Dude, if I'm ever running, I'm putting it on social so people can see. See why Maddie does it now. Maddie McLean, right? I know,

but everyone knows Maddie runs. I need people to see that I ran once. You do need to do it a little bit more consistently though. You can't have like five weeks between runs. So yeah, you guys were like, oh, you're never going to do it again. So it's every Tuesday. And last night, I went along. to Run Club. You might remember I went to five on Monday night. I had four hours sleep. I was naked.

I was not primed for this. But I was like, you guys are going to give it to me if I don't go. So I went along and I took my two kids, five-year-old and a three-year-old. And my son loves it, the five-year-old. He was... He did.

It's a 5K run. He ran it in 30 minutes. I don't know how. That's really good for Bessie. He's really into it. So that's why I was like, I'm in a dream. wasn't into it you wouldn't have been there probably not so you're being a good

mother yeah um so went along and i i go with i am my three year old she has like tiny little running shoes and she wants to join in so she usually manages usually one time she managed like a k and then she jumps in the buggy and i push her the rest of the way like kids and stuff yeah yeah right yeah there's lots of kids it seems like a lot to wrangle for her wrangler she is the youngest um and i did offer her to stay home and she didn't want to so i'm i was so proud of myself for making it and I was like, I'll just chuck her in the buggy when she gets tired, and I'll push her the rest of the way. We got 10 metres down the road,

and she insisted on wearing Elsa tutu dress and carrying her sleeping bunny. And I was like, this is not prime running conditions. And she, of course, she tripped over near the start. Might I say, not there was like a couple of little grazers on one hand. So, like, she was fine. And I'm trying to talk to her. her.

It's dark. It's like six o'clock at night. And I'm like, just get in the buggy. I'll push you. Just get in the buggy. Meanwhile, everyone's gone. My son's gone. And I could not get her to go in the buggy.

We ended up walking back to the tab where we start. And the whole way she's like, I don't want to do run club again. I just want to do ballet. You bastion can do run club. I don't want to do this. The whole way home. You had an option. You had an option.

I was like, well, it did it. Meanwhile, this woman walks past and she's like, are you okay? I was like, yeah, this is my every day. Are you done club with Roan Club now? I think this is going to probably wait till my husband gets home and he can take back. I feel like, yeah, yeah. So technically you still have only done one run club. No, well then everyone came back, everyone came back and I took a head torch.

I looked like an absolute dork. No one looks cooler than they do win the head torch. bloody head torch and I went for a run myself. Oh yourself? Just approved. Did you? It was actually like so nice. So I wasn't being abused by anyone.

There's no toddlers wanting me. But I technically I still did a run. Okay. We'll give you two. We'll two for a club. We'll get done. We'll keep a telly.