Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Why Oprah was waiting for Chelsea Handler in her dressing room...

Episode Date: February 26, 2024

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The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. You would have seen her hosting shows on E! or hosting big awards shows, US comedian Chelsea Handler. She's coming to New Zealand in July, Wellington and Auckland bringing her show Little Big B, and she joins us right now, the hilarious Chelsea Handler. Welcome.

Oh, welcome. Thank you. Good morning, good evening, good afternoon. What is it? We'll go off. Good afternoon. What is it? We'll go off your time zone. What is it in your time zone? I'm in Whistler, Canada at my little ski chalet. So it's around noon here. Oh my God.

Look at the beautiful snow on the trees behind you. I'm just sitting here. I'm getting ready to go skiing for the day. But you also do it like with no tops on. That's right. Actually, I have my birthday video coming out this weekend, which we filmed the other day. So I do have a top.

I have some clothing on, but not a lot. Yeah. I see you on your Instagram and you're just like, you've never fallen over. You know, it's funny you mentioned that. I never have had an accident or fallen when I'm in my bikini or I'm topless. Only when I'm fully clothed. That's good. I love your personality. Your spades are spayeded. That's good. I love your personality.

Your spade's a spade with you. You say what's on your mind. Has it got you in trouble before? Always. Always gets me in trouble. I think it's important to speak your mind and be honest. Everything's a lie these days. Everyone's full of it and no one wants to tell the truth or get involved or say the wrong thing. And I just don't have that self-consciousness. I think it's important to tell people the truth, especially women to women. You know what I mean? Women have been lied to our entire existence. We have been marginalized and treated like we're idiots and that our only value is having a baby or getting married. And I just think that's such a crock. Do you think you get told off more and get in more trouble because you are outspoken as

a woman? I only get to, I mean, you can only get told off if you're listening to people telling you all the time. And you were talking, actually, I saw on another interview recently about how great it has been for females with the likes of yourself, the Barbie movie, Taylor Swift, Beyonce. Yeah. I mean, I think women are driving the economy right now. You know, it's a cultural like reset what's happening. You know, all of the success that women are having, you know, dominating culture, dominating the economy. It's nice timing to go, hey, hey, hey, hey, you don't get to tell us what to do. And don't forget pink. Pink is also dominating. It's a bloody great time and that's the way it should be.

But, you know, more importantly, what's going to happen to us? The middle aged white man, Ben and myself, we're here. You're going to happen to us, the middle-aged white man, Ben and myself, we're here. You're going to become extinct. Unless you guys figure out something that you're good at besides planting seeds in us, you're going to become extinct. It's called parthenogenesis. Animals are starting to procreate without the male sperm. We are only a thousand years evolutionarily behind animals.

So all men need to get their acts together. We need to get good at something. Yeah, mansplaining. I'm pretty good at mansplaining, but that's about it. Chelsea, last time you were coming to New Zealand, you put out a little video saying you're here with your cousin for three days afterwards. You're looking for a man. I mean, what did you do with those three days? Oh, we traveled up the coast. We went to this great lodge and it was beautiful. We went on these hikes and it was gorgeous. New Zealand is gorgeous. Also, last time I was there, I did not get penetrated.

Yeah, I'm hoping this time will be different. So please play this interview a couple times. What did you actually think of New Zealand mean when you were here? The most interaction I had with them was at this golf course that we stayed at, which I really have no interest in golf. So that wasn't the right place for me. So I stick around after my show and, you know, have sex with a fan, I guess. There's a place in Auckland called the Chelsea Sugar Factory. So I'm like, oh, you know, you can see how sugar's made. I thought, well, that could be perfect for you with your name like Chelsea. That's perfect. Yeah. Thank you for thinking of me. That's very thoughtful. He's got a use. You can just plan your day. That'll be good.

Listen, we've only got a couple more minutes left to go, Chelsea. You've had such a wonderful career. I used to watch you back on E! Television. What do you think has been the one moment of your career where you've gone, wow, this is, I've made it? I don't know. There have been many moments where I've gone, whoa. I mean, most recently I hosted the Critics' Choice Awards

this year and I got off stage after my monologue and Oprah was like sitting there with her arms open and just embraced me. And she's like, you need to host every award show. You're incredible. And I was like, that was a moment. Like being held by Oprah felt like God was hugging me. I don't care about what a lot of people think of me. I do care what Oprah thinks. Yeah, I can imagine. Well, that is a great moment. I woke up the next morning. I'm like, okay, well, I mean, that's done. Now I've made a good impression with Oprah. Literally, I get in the car the next night. I fly back to Vancouver the

next morning after the Critics' Choice Awards. My driver's driving me back. It's like a two-hour drive and I can't, all of a sudden I have to go to the bathroom. There's nowhere to pull over. There's nowhere to pull over. And I'm like, sir, you got to find something. You got to find something. I'm like, I have my hand between my legs. Like I'm in third grade trying to prevent myself from urinating in someone's car, you know? And then finally we get to my friend's house. I'm like, just stop here. Just stop here. And I get out of the car and I'm standing there looking at my driver and I just pee. I pee right in my jeans outside standing up making eye contact with him because i didn't want to know what was happening so i had to remain strong

and all i remember thinking is well i guess the critics choice awards are over and this is a new day what would oprah say now exactly i'm like anytime you get too excited about yourself the universe steps in and reminds you, watch it. Chelsea, it's awesome. We're huge fans of you. It's great to have you coming back to New Zealand. Can't wait to have you here. And everyone should go along and see you in Auckland

and also Wellington. Thanks, guys. Appreciate it. Nice to see you. And I'll see you in New Zealand, I hope.