Jordan, Jesse, GO! - A Complete Fool with Chris Estrada

Episode Date: September 29, 2022

Chris Estrada joins Jordan and Jesse to talk favorite sandwich shops, Jesse's death tree and the dorkiness of rock and roll.Check out Chris' hilarious new show This Fool on Hulu today!This episode brought to you by Lumi Labs. Ever tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use JJGO for 30% off + Free Shipping. 

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Jordan, I know that longtime Jordan Jesse Goh listeners miss when I just didn't have anything to say, So I would just describe the weather in Los Angeles at the top of the show. Yeah, that's a bummer now. Nobody wants to hear that segment. When I had run out of content literally at the beginning of the program

and I would just describe the weather. Anyway, here in Los Angeles, we had a tropical storm. here in Los Angeles, we had a tropical storm. Yeah, it's been... What the fuck? Yeah, it's been weird and not fun, the weather. It's so weird and gross. Last year, I tried to adopt a philosophy of hot positivity. Yeah, well, you were living, I mean, was one year ago, you were still living in your non-air-condition conditioned apartment, right? Right. So it was, uh, yeah, it was a survival move.

The hot positivity. Yeah. It was like a trauma response. Sure. Exactly. Uh, and now, you know,

and now I have a wall unit, God bless the wall unit and I'm a little more air conditioned, but the heat has just gotten so intense. It has eroded. It has eroded the hot positivity that i had built up the love of you know the love of jean shorts the love of you know taking a soda out of the fridge and sensually rubbing it down my neck all these things that i was taking pleasure in during last year's hot positivity i just i i couldn't do do it. I'm bummed. And yeah, then

it was like, you're getting some rain, you're getting some rain. And we were excited, but like, oh, but it'll also be hot. It'll also be hot and weird. And you'll be itchy a lot. I'm so itchy. Yeah. One good thing happened to me. One of summer summer thing happened to me i was at this the desert gas station one vending machine you know the convenience store is closed it's dusty i don't even know if these pumps work let me let me see if i can guess a couple things in this machine is this drinks only or is this drinks is a snacks it's just a drinks machine it's outdoors i don't even honestly know what it's plugged into you got a squirt in there i only saw one thing being ordered so cindy crawford

happened to be there she orders herself a diet pepsi right i don't know what supermodel cindy crawford is doing out in the middle of the desert honestly i don't know what i was doing out in the middle of the desert she but she ordered this diet Pepsi. And I think I'll be thinking about the way she drank this Pepsi for the rest of my goddamn life. And then crisscross was there and they wrapped about Sprite. Anyway, so miserable weather. And I got to see, you know, there's this ancient tree in front of my house that keeps dropping murderous branches. I didn't know that. No. Tell me about this death tree. Well, maybe do we want to introduce our guest and see if he has any experience with death trees, murder bushes.

Sure. Doom Tree, the Minneapolis rap collective. Sure, let's hear it. Why not? Our guest on the program... Stabgrass. Stabgrass. You know what? great rap collective stab grass i'm gonna take that tax incentive and i'm taking out my whole lawn and putting in native stab grasses right it's they're you know they're they're water wise yeah our guest on the program is a stand-up comic and he is the co-creator and star of one of the funniest new shows on you know what the funniest new show on television fucking hilarious show called this fool chris estrada hi chris what's up jesse what's up jordan thanks for having me yeah thanks for

coming what a joy what's the most murderous plant you've ever encountered? What kind of thing is the most murderous plant? I don't know. I mean, is meth derived from a plant? Yeah, probably. Yeah. I did that for a few years. I don't know if that's... I mean, that'll do it, you know? If you're looking for self-harm,

that's a good path. At the end of the day, meth is just an herb, man. The founding fathers did meth. And I don't want to sound snooty, but you got to go to the farmer's market to get the real farm-to-table meth, the stuff you're getting at the grocery store. Yeah, I only take local meth. Yeah.

That's what Alice Waters always does when she needs to stay up all night at Chez Panisse. You know, think globally, meth locally. That's what the bumper sticker on my Tesla says. That's what I go, you know, why buy cocaine that's coming from another country? You know, why don't you buy meth that you know is being cooked in a garage in Pacoima? Yeah. Support Pacoima. another country you know why don't you buy meth that you know is being cooked in a garage in pokoyma yeah support pokoyma man i feel gosh i feel that so deeply chris i feel like i feel like in today's busy high-tech world we're all just connecting on social media and eating industrialized foods. I think so many people forget the importance of Pacoima.

Oh, come on. Home of Richie Valens. Richie Valens. La Bamba. Home of Richie Valens and my cousin Gilbert and Javier. Oh, three legends. Two cousins. It was a shame what happened to them all on the day the music died.

Yeah, they were in the plane with Buddy Holly and the Big Bopper. Yeah. And Sugar Free, except he's from Pomona, which just sounds like Pacoima. It's easy to confuse them because they sound similar, but only one has Gilbert. Yeah, only one has Gilbert. Chris, what's your heat tolerance? Like we're, we're currently in the middle of the most unpleasant heat. Uh, how do you, how are you handling it? You know, I was fine in the beginning when it was dry ass oven heat.

I can, I can handle that. You know, I grew up here. Dry ass oven heat is all good with me. It's this humidity. I can't do it. I mean, that mugginess, it messed my brain up because I remember looking outside my window like three days ago or two days ago and like going, yo, it's cloudy. It's going to be kind of chilly outside. Then I went and it was hot. It was disgusting. It's the humidity messes me up. When I lived in Washington, D.C., which I did for a couple summers as a young man, the main thing that I remember is that I would walk to the metro and it was like a three block walk. Like it was not a long walk. And I'd be making this walk at to go to work. So it'd be 830 in the morning or whatever. And I would, between the apartment where I was staying and that metro

station, I would become wet, like not just sweaty, but full body as though I had gone swimming in my clothing. Yeah. And absolutely just a miserable, horrible experience. And like even getting, miserable, horrible experience. And like even getting, what did we have? 40 hours of that, maybe? I'm telling you. Yeah. I don't mind my own sweat, but getting atmosphere on me, like. Yeah, sure. It's no good. When God is sweating. Yeah. This is why I'm always sorry. I know this is a hot take, but we need to erode the ozone faster. Get rid of all this atmosphere. I mean, that's literally a hot take, Jordan. Thank you. Yes. Did Jordan just go there? Yeah, I went there. That's a good point, Chris. I think Jordan did go there. I know we've just met, but something you'll find about me is that I go there. Yeah. I remember I looked you up on Twitter and your Twitter bio was, I go there.

Yeah. ENFP. ENFP, I go there. Jesse, tell us about this tree. What's going down? This is an aged eucalyptus tree that's outside my house. I live in a very old house. And I think this tree might be...

Wait, so you got koala problems i mean no i have tree branch problems and koala benefits the koalas i love the koalas and you know what because they'll fuck you and they don't want a relationship koalas with benefits thank you jordan they're not gonna like text you like hey just thinking about you another great thing about the neighborhood that i live in so i have the eucalyptus tree to the left to the right i got a gum tree where old kookaburras oh boy you know they're they're clingy they're the clingiest australian bird they are very clingy. They're the clingiest Australian bird. They are very clingy. This tree is giant and old. And every time I call the city of Los Angeles about it,

have you guys ever called 311 to get services? Yeah. It's a nightmare. It is. It's a nightmare. But they will come. What's crazy is if I call 311 or i often use the app and i say that giant tree branches have fallen out of the tree by my house and they're going to kill someone and they've already dented a car before my very eyes they will come and clean them up and an arborist will come and if i catch normally the arborist doesn't like ring my doorbell but

i've had them come out like three times at one time i caught them and i'm like oh my god are you the arborist from the city he's like yeah and i'm like giant fucking branches have fallen out of this tree like a like a six inch wide branch an eight inch wide branch had fallen from this tree. He looks at it and he goes, yeah, it's an old tree. And then he just got back in his car and left. Then he tipped his shades like on CSI. Yeah, exactly. He just shined a black light on it and floored it. It's not much of a catchphrase. I got to see a giant branch fall out of it onto

the commercial building next to me's roof with my son, Oscar. It was just a real thrill, a real opportunity to see nature's majesty and to learn that God hates us and wants us to die. Very true. That's the whole tree story. I mean, I don't have more about this giant eucalyptus tree. Chris, you're raising your hand. I mean, I don't have more about this giant eucalyptus tree. Does it provide shade? Chris, you're raising your hand. I'm calling on you, Chris. Such a polite guest. Does it provide shade? It does provide some shade, but with the shade comes real danger, Chris.

Like, I don't want to, I don't have a garage. I don't have a garage. I have a very small driveway that my wife had to sell her car and buy a different car to fit the car in the driveway. And so there's only two parking spaces in front of my house. Across the street from my house is a metal shop. So these guys in the metal shop, they take up the parking spaces. I mean, God bless them. They're at work. But they take up the parking spaces. I mean, God bless them. They're at work. Yeah. But they take up the parking places.

And there's the one spot that's often open is the one under this tree. And I would park under this tree until the day that I came out of my house. And there was like a 12-foot long tree branch on top of a Civic that literally had like a broken windshield and, you know, like as though someone had karate chopped the hood of the car. And I decided that it was worth parking in the one hour zone and moving every one hour for the rest of my life rather than parking under that tree. I just think eucalyptus trees for the most part are kind of like shitty, ugly trees. They're not robust and they don't really give the kind of shade that you imagine a tree should give you know what i mean non-native tree too that's an

invasive tree invasive tree non-native they catch on fire easily from what i hear is that what you heard or is was that your experience back in your meth days chris uh that was all i just heard that you're like you know you know where there's a lot of eucalyptus trees? Pacoima. Well, used to be a lot of them. Funny you mentioned Pacoima. Used to be a lot of eucalyptus trees there. I chopped them all down at three in the morning. Nice eucalyptus tree here.

It'd be terrible if something were to happen to it. Can you please go back on drugs, Chris, just overnight and chop down this eucalyptus tree outside my house? I'll clean up your yard, too. Oh, thank you. Yeah, Chris, I actually need some holes dug. Not for any particular reason. Yeah, would you mind burning some insulation off some wires for me?

I'm on it. I'm calling my connect right now. Thank you so much. Really appreciate it. Operator, get me pacoima uh guys i know that this is unusual for the show chris you wouldn't know this you haven't been on the show in the past but we actually have some segments i would like to get to on the program do you mind no so on twitter uh twitter user named at k Cato Catonian tweeted this at me the other day. I just recalled I had a dream last night that I was hosting a podcast with that Jesse Thorne. Chris, for your benefit, that's me.

And our segments were tall people we know, sandwiches of the Bay Area, and what's up with Ray Romano? So I just thought we'd just hit it from the top with tall people we know. Of course, Steve Agee is one. Very tall. What's he about? Six, five, six, six? Who's a tall person you know, Jordan? Let's see. It's my friend Ian, Let's see. It's my friend Ian. Pretty tall guy. Oh, Ian Waltersdorf.

That guy's very tall. We had a little breakfast the other day. It was fun. Ian Waltersdorf, not just tall. One year he was in two commercials in the same Super Bowl. Chris, you can see why this is probably our most beloved segment. Oh, no. It's going great.

Chris, you know anyone? Hot fire. You know anybody tall kind of thing it's currently somebody i know is he's six five that's yeah sure you know do you ever have this feeling when you're watching a basketball game and like the smallest guy is six three and you're like literally the tallest person I've ever met is six, five. Yeah. Like six, six, maybe like there's multiple seven foot tall guys in that. Yeah. That's all. It's really a giant scheme. Yeah, it really is. A lot of people think that football and baseball are a giant scheme because of the New York Giants and San Francisco Giants. But the honest truth is that all basketball teams are giant teams. Next topic here is Bay Area sandwiches. Sandwiches of the Bay Area, of course. You guys know me. I'm going to go with Tommy's

joint, the legendary Tommy's joint. Second place is going to be the sandwich place in the San Francisco State University Student Union. It's nice. They have a nice sour roll and a good Dutch crunch. And then, and this I don't think is going to be controversial, Jordan, Lee's Delicatessen. Because you know why, Jordan? It's very affordable. You work an office job downtown, you can get yourself a $5 sandwich. You know what I mean? You don't have to pay those fancy hotel restaurant prices. Do you guys have any top sandwiches? I don't think sandwiches.

Grocery store sandwich is always a winner. I love a good Whole Foods sandwich. Should order at the Whole Foods counter. You know, grilled chicken, grilled chicken sandwich. That's pretty ritzy. That's not a sandwich you're going to get at the Kroger. Your boy has a TV show. Yeah.

It's true. Slice me up a chicken breast. This one's on Hulu. Yeah, give me some of that tapenade, baby. No, you know what's a good sandwich place? It's Tamarind. Have you guys had Tamarind on Hollywood Boulevard? No.

What kind of sandwich is there? Just old school, kind of like deli cold sandwiches. The one that's not cold is they have a meatball sandwich. It's kind of old school sandwich spot. Closes at like five every day. It's not open late. Just open from like nine to five. Great. Yeah. closes at like five every day it's not openly just open from like nine to five great yeah usually

if a place has weird hours it's gonna be pretty good yeah yeah it's such a just a great restaurant truism it's either pretty good or inedible yeah that's a good point there's a sandwich place that is between my house and my office called Eastside Italian Delicatessen. And the food there is good. It's not extraordinarily good, but it's good. But if you ever, like if you're walking around, you think East Los Angeles is, you know, it's a bunch of hipsters and, you know, just a bunch of ladies pushing strollers with six children. That is a lot of this part of LA.

But if you want to meet every firefighter and police officer in all of Los Angeles, Eastside Italian Delicadescent is your spot. Like you'll be in line at this deli and there will be 12 giant men in line with you. Six of them in fireman t-shirts and six of them in police uniforms. I think that this is the place, Chris, that you should go and then just announce that you know Michael Imperioli.

Yeah, that's where I'm gonna go. They're gonna love that. Michael Imperioli is really funny on your show. Yeah. He's such a cool... Were you a Sopranos fan? Oh, huge, huge. I was you a Sopranos fan? Oh, huge, huge. I was a big Sopranos fan.

I remember when like they asked us to offer it to someone. And I was like, I had no idea who to offer it to. And I was walking around and at night with a friend. And he said, you should offer it to Michael Imperioli. And I was like, there's no way he would do this. And then he'd be like, no, you'd be surprised. He probably doesn't get offered that much stuff because like he probably gets stuff offered in the vein of like a gangster, you know? And I was like, yeah, let's see. And then we offered it to him and he got back to us like five days later and was like, yeah, I'll do

it. Quick turnaround from Imperioli. I like that. Quick turnaround. Were you worried, Chris, that he would hear that you had already been turned down by little Stevie Van Zandt? Yeah. Him and Big Pussy. He was really... We're just going down the Sopranos call sheet. Yeah. Him and Big Pussy turned us down. And then I said, well, guys, get the theater rolling.

Edie Falco's a maybe. She would be electric in that role. Honestly, she would be great in that because she's fucking amazing. One time I was joking around with him. We had been shooting for about a month now and felt pretty comfortable with the guy. And I thought he knew that I would be playing around. We were doing a scene and the action line said, Julio, my character, looks surprised.

So I went up to him and I said, hey, Michael, as a veteran in the game. No, I said, hey, Mikey, my man, as a veteran in the game. It says Julio looks surprised. What do you think is better, this face or this face? I would say for the listener at home yeah they were both surprised faces one of them i would call an open face yes one of them i would call a closed face yeah and i thought he would know that i was for me personally split the difference but the difference oh wow and this is Now, Chris, this is something that you should take pretty seriously.

Oh, I am. Because Jordan was in the movie all about Steve. Yeah. Big fan. Would someone say... Thank you. This is probably huge for you. Yeah.

That is always something, if someone's asking you to choose between two things, like, you can just fucking exit that conversation by saying split the difference. And they will think that you're saying it for a good reason. I love just saying split the difference and fucking ejecting from whatever's going on. I'm excited, Jordan, to learn about a new that's a great age from you. Because I know that as a childless man, as far as we know. It's a fun age. Yeah.

That's a fun age is something that you're... Gotta get a son. Always. Have you thought at all about getting a son, Jordan? No. I mean, and my... And I'm so mad. I mean, I've been saying on this show, Chris, for you, I always say I gotta get a son. I'm trying to get a son. Yeah.

And it's a shame that they stole that concept for the new Game of Thrones, which is basically, I got to get a son, the show. It's a big problem for us. They took that from you. They did take that from me, yes. George R.R. Martin.

They will claim parallel thinking. Yeah. They will claim parallel thinking, but we see past their fucking... What's the guy who was the star of action you know the television show action i don't know yeah i don't know he was on saturnette live and he stole a bunch of jokes oh i don't know jay moore jay moore is the name i was looking for buddy hackett was on that show holy cow wait that's a lineup uh you you need to finish your story so you're okay so you're talking to michael imperioli you're like what yeah what do you want a or b you give him two

faces two great faces but i intentionally i'm kind of talking like a douchebag i'm calling him mikey my man and then i say as a veteran in the game i was trying to evoke like an entourage character you know right and he i thought he knew i was joking so he just looked at me he goes he sighed he went are you fucking serious i thought oh shit he doesn't know i'm joking but then i could tell that he caught himself feeling bad and then he said he just went into like advice mode and he goes hey listen man we've been doing this for a month you're not bad at this're pretty good. Like you shouldn't ask questions like that. And then he just said, look, started giving me advice on acting. And he went on for like almost two minutes.

And I just kept thinking, Oh shit. He thinks I was honestly asking him this. And then finally, I was just like, Hey, I'm really sorry. I really appreciate all the advice you just gave me right now. Like the invaluable, really invaluable advice, you know, but I was actually just joking with you. And he was just like, are you fucking serious? I think about that a lot because I feel like, you know, a lot of times you will see a comedy show that has one or two, like, actors from the world of serious acting. Andre Brower will be on there yeah that's a great example it's like as a comedy person we we move through the world doing these

dumb little bits you know they give us energy um it prevents us from having an emotional honest conversation this is something our friend na Naomi Ekperigen calls bit boys. Yeah, sure. The concept of a bit boy. But yeah, I imagine like doing that kind of between take fucking around with someone who has a process is probably very, very different.

It made me feel like a complete fool. It's almost like he saw through me and he was just like, you don't read your lines like when you're at home, do you? Excuse me, I need to call Edie Falco, who I know, who I'm close with. Her child's having a christening. Jesse, there was a third segment segment on that uh tweet yeah thanks for bringing that up jordan i'm going to close this loop the third segment on the tweet is what's

up with ray romano um so first of all i just wanted to take this opportunity to acknowledge that get shorty the television show, was pretty great. Underscene because it was on Starz or some shit, but it's on streaming somewhere now. If you get a chance to watch it, it's a fucking great show. Ray Romano's great on it, like he is on everything. Oh, yeah. So that's first and foremost.

I just want to credit him for that. And, of course, I'll go all the way back to Men of a Certain Age, another profoundly underrated Ray Romano program program i'm glad you brought that up i was about to bring that up love that show really really great show co-created by mike royce yep uh who is i think hasn't mike been on jordan jesse oh he was on jordan jesse go one time right oh i don't know i don't remember i think he was on jordan jesse go one time He's a executive producer on Everybody Loves Raymond and co-created Enlisted and helped run One Day at a Time. Wonderful man. Wonderful man. Ray Romano also has a film coming out that he wrote and directed. So I'm very excited about checking that out. I think it's going to be a lot of fun. That's all I got on Ray Romano.

He also was in an HBO Max show that was canceled because of that whole mess over there. I don't know if you heard about that. Somewhere in Queens is the name of the film. He was also in that. You know, rock shows can be pretty bad. He was in Vinyl. Do you guys remember Vinyl? That was created by Cameron Crowe, maybe?

No, that was Rhodey's, and that was equally bad. That was really cringy. Yeah, and I was excited for Vinyl. I really liked... Yeah, I was like, awesome. Like, I'm on board for this. You know, love the era, love the cast. And yeah, and it just like i think i think rock and roll is

just not cool and will never be cool again i think it is just like yep i think everyone everyone like i think if you are participating in rock and roll and i you know rock and roll is great music i'm not but i think if you're participating in rock and roll is great music. I'm not, but I think if you're participating in rock and roll and exuding any kind of rock and roll style or attitude, you are just such a fucking dork. Now, I think now it is just so dorky to rock. And I'm not saying that people should not. You're in the 1976 or something. I'm not saying that people should not rock or produce rock music. I think it makes a lot of people happy still,

but like having a rock and roll vibe is, I mean, it's just like now I think if you are like have an open shirt with chains and a lot of scarves, you might as well just be a 1989 nerd with your pants pulled up and pocket protectors you know like it is that dorky that are i think chris is going to disagree with this this is a guy who offered little stevie van zandt a job on his program yeah no you know i gotta agree with you though because i think you know what it is music now, if you know somebody that's really into rock music,

people go, oh, you're a fanboy. You're familiar with records. You're familiar with years that things came out. And that's not like cool. Years things came out. Yeah, you know, you're just like, oh, I can tell you why the year 1977 is important, you know? And nobody wants to have that conversation.

My girlfriend doesn't want to have that conversation with me. She, you know, countless times has told me I don't care about the year 1977. Chris, this is a safe space. Please tell us all why 1977 was such an important year. Well, let me tell you, let me get into it. No. I think I can make a counterpoint to this argument. And it's funny that I would make a counterpoint because I'm probably the least rock and roll guy in this room. Jordan, you're a punk rock guy. We've discussed you like a melodic punk rock song. Ted Leo. Chris, you're wearing a PIL t-shirt right now.

So you're a certified post-punker. Yeah. But I'm going to throw a few names at you. And then I want you to say back to me that rock and roll isn't cool anymore. Talking about Donnie York, Gene Jaramillo, Jocko, Downtown Michael Brown, Rockin' Randy, Screamin' Scott Simon, Keith, Circus Music, Reed, Tim Butler, and Ty Cock ty cock guys that's shauna rock and roll will never die i thought these were going to be people who were in gary sinisa's band

these are the session musicians that played on the return of Bruno. Right, yeah. These are the guys who needed a paycheck, so they were Russell Crowe's band for a tour. But I have a question for you guys sincerely. Do you think that the reason that rock and roll, that rock and roll bullshit isn't cool to you anymore? You know, whatever it is, be it Aerosmith scarves or Alice Cooper Frankenstein's, or do you like that my reference for Alice Cooper is just Wayne's World, Wayne's World era,

Alice Cooper? I don't know that Alice Cooper has gone through a lot of phases. Well, he's into golf now, right? I don't know. Maybe that should be next week's segment. Instead we can swap out Alice Cooper for Ray Romano. I think he's a Republican and he's into golf. Makes sense. But do you think it's possible that the reason you guys don't think this is cool is because you're both punk rock guys and so, you know, your aesthetics are based on rejecting the majestic glamour of rock and roll music? You know, possibly, but I keep thinking about even big bands that I like that were like popular. Like, you know, if you think of, I don't know, just think even thinking of-

Like Woody Herman? Woody Herman, yes, Woody Herman. But even thinking about like, I don't know, when will you see another Nirvana again? I think that thing, I think it's cool. I just think everybody else thinks it's dorky now, you know, or when will you see another Rage Against the Machine or even thinking about bands that are pretty big like smashing pumpkins i don't know when are people gonna see that again i don't think they care that guy's too busy writing wwe storylines yeah isn't that crazy i love that becoming a cat celebrity yeah yeah i

think it's just over and that's fine yeah Yeah. And I think we can still see these bands when they come around on tour as part of a package tour where there's a craft beer garden. I don't know. Maybe it's not that. I don't think that it's that. I don't think anybody thinks it's cool anymore. But I have friends, they went to go see Pavement over the weekend and all those shows were sold out. Yeah. No, I think there's yeah i think

there's still like okay i went to see super chunk a few weeks ago uh yeah another like great crowd there for this like super chunk is an amazing band they still like they've put out the best albums of their career i would say as someone who's loved them since high school i would say that i think their most recent albums are their best albums. And that's like, who can you say that about? Basically, no one who's been around since the 80s is still making that high quality of music. So I'm stoked to be there. Great crowd. And I'm getting my pre-show drink. And I'm finding a space at the bar. And there's a young like very hip Gen Z bartender working this venue. And she is pissed.

She's just fucking pissed. I can tell like, and I'm like, why is this woman so agitated? Like, and I'm trying to get the drink. And then she just kind of yells to the whole room. Guys, guys, you don't have to line up. This isn't England. This thing was just so full of polite glasses, cardigan men who were lining up to get their drinks

like nice school boys. They're there to rock out in a respectful manner. Exactly. Yes. Rock out in a respectful manner and be in the lift by 11 so they can take the sitter home at 1130. Yeah. Is it possible, Jordan, that they weren't lining up for drinks?

They were lining up for Tom Sharpling's autograph? I totally saw Tom Sharpling there. I totally saw Tom Sharpling there. I have this thing on Bullseye, my NPR show, where I will book music acts on there once in a while that I'm really excited about. And sometimes it'll come out in a way that I am just totally fucking thrilled with. And then I will not hear from anyone about it. And then I will have a conversation with Bonnie Hunt and people will be over the fucking moon. Now I'm not saying that people should not be over the fucking moon about Bonnie Hunt because she is so fucking cool and hilarious. But I'm just saying I had a great conversation with G Parico. And so I'm always

like not sure what to do about this. Like, I'm not sure whether I should just stop having musicians on because they're too, you know, it's too compartmentalized in terms of audience. I was like, I feel like it might just be who's listening. So I went on Twitter and I made a poll that just said, who is best? And I put Frank Sinatra, Beyonce, The Replacements, and The Replacements got 50%. The Replacements didn't just win, dominated the poll. So maybe rock and roll is still cool. Yeah. Is the moral of that story. I think people are trolling you, Jesse. I think people are trying to piss you off. It's just John Moe voting a thousand times.

Jesse, I love you, but you're an easily trolled man. I also like to imagine that everybody that took that poll, it was living in Minneapolis at the time. That's true. Do you have your Twitter set to Minneapolis? Yeah, I think so. Look, some of the people are in Portland. That's true. Oregon and Maine, Chris. Oregon and Maine. But, you know, interviewing Jeep Perico, that's pretty cool. I mean, that guy has a crazy-ass story.

He got shot one time and then still went to go perform. That guy is out of control. Yeah. That guy is amazing. Yeah, he's amazing. Sometimes what's crazy is, like, I interview on Bullseye, just interview people from, you know, from all walks of creative life. Right. And like you interview Michael Stipe and it's like, this guy's in fucking REM. And then

you're like reading about REM or whatever. And you're like, oh, right. REM sold 70 million albums or whatever. Like, it's not just the guy from Band of Horses where you're like, this is good music that people who like music like or whatever. It's like, oh, right. This guy is a mega celeb. You know, movie stars and shit like that. But fucking Jeep Rico comes into your studio and this guy has so completely invented his entire life. Oh, yeah. Like 100% invented every aspect of his life and now has a Lamborghini. Yep. That is unbelievable to me.

You know, like with all due respect to John Darneil, a wonderful man, you know, had many tough years of poverty to build his career and stuff when g perico comes in and just like tells you about how he doesn't stop at stoplights in case someone shoots him you're just like and he means it like he's not just saying that you can tell he's not just saying that but also he's like immediately your friend you're like holy shit and he has like juicy ass hair yeah oh this is a this is coming at me left and right he's rocking that easy perm oh man chris did you see public image limited when they came they were like in a music festival recently right oh? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I didn't see them at that, but I saw them a few years ago beforehand when they came

around. Around the time that that documentary came out, there's a documentary on Public Image Limited called Public Image is Cracked or something. It's a really great documentary. But yeah, it was cool. He's just a weird guy, though. Johnny, Johnny Lydon is a weird guy. We were talking about punk rock on Bullseye, Chris, when you came on the show, was there a point when you stopped mixing

it up at a punk rock show? Was there a point when you decided that you're going to sit at the bar? There was a point I, you know, a few years ago, I went to go see the bus cocks and this was like maybe six years ago. And they were playing at the Mayan in downtown Los Angeles. And I just remember I tried to slam dance. And then I thought to myself, I'm 33. I just thought, I'm going to go. My knees hurt. I was like, I'm going to go get a drink and then just really enjoy this show.

Standing from a safe distance. There's like a lot of, you know, here in Los Angeles distance there's like a lot of you know here in los angeles there's like there's like surfer dudes that work at ad agencies and talk about their punk rock 45s and that's fine i don't have a problem with that but i really admire just like a 54 year old punk rock dude oh yeah who's just all in and he's like yes forever it's like i got a knee replacement this week but i will never stop having contempt for artifice or whatever type of punk rock they're into oh yeah because you made so many of these guys who are now like yeah you know i'm a head of a studio but i use this i'm a head of a studio. I'm the head of a network, but I love, you know, I was a big germs fan.

You want to see my germs burn? Yeah. Still got the germs burn. So they got the back of the bus. Eva Mendez is coming in later. Yeah. I just love those guys. And then they're also still telling you, well, this is what the audience wants from this show.

My wife's cousin, Chris, very lovely man, very wonderful man. It was a few years older than us. And in some ways, he defined punk rock to me. There's a lot of punk rock kids at my high school. And, you know, it was like the peak of, of Berkeley punk rock and, you know, a lot of gutter punks, that kind of thing. Yeah. But like Chris was the apotheosis of it. And it wasn't because he was the most punk rock dude. In fact, you know, he's, he's probably around a Jordan level of punk rock dude, which is to say also like some indie rock and that kind of thing. Not a pure punk rock dude. But I remember that he represented punk rock to me because at some point my wife told me that he washed his hair with bar soap. And I don't know why that meant that he was. I don't know what specifically about that, but that seemed like a specific that meant that he was for real.

It's just not letting the man tell you what to put the soap on. Yeah. I don't know. I kind of feel like Pert Plus is pretty punk rock. Mike Piazza uses it. That's true. No, he uses Selsun Blue. Sorry.

I take it back. Well, yeah, it can destroy the dandruff as if it was the system we'll be back in just a second on jordan jesse go Hey gang, this is Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. I thought we'd try something a little bit new, a little bit fun, a little bit funky this week. Yeah, that's right. I'm going to do the business portion of the show by myself. Look out. This could get wild. All right. As you may know,

this episode of Jordan, Jesse Go, like all episodes of Jordan, Jesse Go, and all the shows on Maximum Fun are brought to you by everybody who went to MaximumFun.org slash join and became a member. We thank everyone who has done that. And if you haven't done that, maybe check out that URL. You can keep the shows here going and get some cool bonus content while you're at it. But we've also got some other great folks we want to thank this week. Now a word from our sponsor, BetterHelp. So both Jesse and I have talked a lot on this show about how much therapy has helped us. Just speaking from personal experience, I was a little bit nervous to try it. You know, I had some preconceived notions about how it would go. But once I did, I can really say it's one of the best decisions I

ever made. I feel less stressed. I handle problems better. It's a great way to talk out not just huge life-changing problems, but little day-to-day problems. It's great when you're having a tough time. It's great when you're not having a tough time. It can help with anxiety and depression. If any of this sounds good to you, there's a lot of great ways to get therapy, but one option you can check out is BetterHelp. It's convenient, accessible, affordable, and entirely online. You can get matched with a therapist after filling out a brief survey and switch therapists at any time. That's actually a really great feature. For some reason, you don't jive with the first therapist you get. It's easy to switch.

And that's a really cool feature. And it being entirely online is also really cool. I actually do my therapy online. Sometimes I do it via video chat. Sometimes I do it while I'm taking a walk. If you do it at home, your pet can be with you if you have a pet. So yeah, online therapy is really, really cool. I definitely recommend it. When you want to be a better problem solver, therapy can get you there. Visit betterhelp.com slash JJ Go to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash JJ Go. And now another word from our other sponsor, Lumi Labs. So you've probably heard about microdosing. If not, just know that all sorts of people, yours truly included, are microdosing daily to feel healthier and perform better.

Our show today is sponsored by Microdose Gummies. Microdose Gummies deliver perfect entry-level doses of THC that help you feel just the right amount of good. I don't know if you've ever tried edibles and had an unexpected reaction to them. I know that's something that has happened to me. They can be kind of tricky. You get too much, you don't get enough, and you get a reaction that you're not expecting. But I really, really like microdose for those reasons. I got these LumiLabs microdose wild berry gummies. They really, really taste good. You take one if you just want a little bit.

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your first order. Links can be found in the show description. But again, that's Microdose.com, code JJGO. All right. I think that went pretty well. Yeah, solo ad reads, they're fun. All right, back to the show. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart jordan morris boy detective this is chris estrada la cutie pie yeah no doubt about it everybody knows that about fucking estrada it's true can confirm no this guy's a regular fucking uh judy garland yeah

yeah that's what they say about me yeah Definitional LA cutie pie, right? I've been called the Mexican Judy Garland. Well, I mean, you're a triple threat, singing, dancing, and math. Yeah, I'm sorry your mother did that to you, Chris. I'm sorry your mother made you take all those diet pills. When something momentous happens to you, we ask you to call us. our phone number is 206-984-4FUN although at this point it's 2022 and you should just send us a voice memo from your phone at jjgoe at maximumfun.org here's one of those people that did that hey jordan jesse uh guest

uh here to report a momentous occasion um i'm driving home from work right now, and I just drove by a Jeep with the door, the driver's side door off, as you can do. And as I got closer, I noticed that the driver was driving just with his pants down around his ankles. He looked to be wearing underpants, as far as I could tell. Wasn't doing anything interesting he was there with his buddy in the passenger seat and nothing

else interesting or exciting was going on but he was just I guess enjoying a ride in his jeep with the door off and his pants down around his ankles just enjoying the afternoon so I thought I'd call him and let you guys know. have a great day

thanks for thinking of us this is the best thing i've heard about in months is it is it fun or wrong like is is he is he doing this for like flasher reasons does he does he want people to see what's going on but he has his undie pants on yeah but i i don't know i'm i'm i i want to love it i want to love it i just worry i worry i worry i worry worry about undie pants consent and i i can see it you know what this this seems like the tamest frat boy type of like like, these are older, like, frat boy guys. They're in, like, their 40s. They're frat brothers. And they were like, what if you do something crazy right now?

Okay. All right. So. I got to do it fast. Ava Mendez is coming in later. So I could do a keg stand on the Dean's lawn, but I got yoga later. Can I ask you guys a question yeah so we've talked about my little league coach tim whose car only had one door and when i talk about that the reason that i

bring it up is because it's so ridiculous, dangerous, because there was eight-year-olds in this car. And it reflected that Tim made poor choices in his life that led him to be possibly a little drunk, coaching Little League, and driving a one-door Cutlass Coupe. and driving a one door Cutlass coupe. Now, a Jeep Wrangler has doors that you can take off of the car.

Why is that allowed? For its utility vehicle. You know, thank you, Chris. Right. And to go off, off road,

you know, now technically, you know, Tim's trunk was full of, uh, aluminum baseball bats and, you know now technically you know tim's trunk was full of uh aluminum baseball bats and you know maybe a sliding pit if we were lucky does that not make it a sports utility vehicle you know you just fucked my world up right now sorry chris i don't know what a sports utility vehicle is anymore yeah where am i am I? What year is it? You used to have a TV show and you don't anymore. Sorry, Chris, you're doing Shakespeare in the Park in Vermont now.

Yeah. I think I've figured out how I'm okay with this call. All right. And again, we don't have all the information. We only have what's ruling in our mind palaces. Yeah. We only have eyewitness reports. And I think if we've learned anything from criminologists, it is that they're highly unreliable.

Exactly. Memory is a funny thing. It is. It's sort of like a reverse Jordan Jessico. Right. I think I'm okay with this if the guy is wearing heart boxers. Heart boxers or similar. Classic comedy boxers.

Because then I can do the work and convince myself that this is a yuckster. Okay. Let me ask you this. And not some sort of Jeep Jackoff guy. A real Jeep-off. How do you feel about the fact that he's got a buddy in the car? And how do you feel about the fact that his buddy's holding a big cream pie? I feel great about that.

I would love it if he was getting pied while he was driving with his pants around his ankles, heart boxers out for the world to see. Every time he checks his side view mirror, his buddy gets hit by a two by four in the back of the head. Sure. He goes to change the radio. He gets a spray of seltzer. This guy doesn't have any deviant sexual interests.

He just wants to make America laugh. One stoplight at a time. Which of these is more interesting or more appropriate to you? He's driving his Jeep Wrangler. He's got the doors off. His pants are down around his ankles. All he sees is undie pants. Or he's driving his Jeep Wrangler. Doors are off. his jeep wrangler doors are off he's not wearing any pants and you see his undie pants all you see in this situation is his probably wingtip shoes and and sock garters i i'd like to imagine i'm gonna go with the latter i think that'll be more interesting yeah is it more appropriate which one's more appropriate oh it's more appropriate you know i mean let's not be perverts about it i want to be yeah

let's not yeah be uncouth it would be uncouth yeah i think i think undie pants is like uh swim trunks kind of thing unless the pants are around the ankles, in which case it becomes a jack-off thing. Maybe I'm confused. What's the distinction? What are you saying? Whether or not there's pants. So in one of the scenarios, he's just driving around. I thought there were pants. Yes. So that's why I'm offering these two choices. One of them is what this man observed, which is, is this guy driving the car with his underpants on, but his pants down around his ankles. The other option is he's driving the car, he's wearing his underpants, but there's no pants to be found. I think the pants make

all the difference. I think in my, in my mind where this is okay okay and he has heart boxers, his pants are definitely around his ankles. So you like the pants being there. Yeah, that's a classic pantsing. No, the pants being down around his ankles makes it a jack off situation to me. That implies that he's a pervert and he pulled them down. What if you get in your Jeep with no pants on? That's better. No, maybe you got barbecue sauce on him.

That's what happened to me. To me, that implies that that's a man having a mental breakdown. That's possible. This is definitely true either way. And his buddy's like, you're having a mental breakdown. You drive. Yeah. OK, let's take another call.

Hey, Jordan and Jesse. This is Brian again. I just called about a man driving his Jeep with his pants down around his ankles. And right after I got off the phone with you, I got off the highway and pulled up to a stoplight, and he pulled alongside next to me, and now his underpants are down around his ankles too. He's not doing anything interesting, and it just looks like he's just enjoying the day and the breeze in his Jeep, I suppose.

And, you know, nothing else interesting going on, but, but first pants down around the ankles and now, now pants and underpants. Anyway, that's,

that's about it. Thanks. Talk about fallen heroes. Who can we trust anymore? Yeah. It's like behind every white picket fence, there is a darkness. Yeah. Like, wouldn't it be funny if like, you know, and God, what was the Tim the Tool Man Taylor

show? Home Improvement. You know how like Wilson, his neighbor over, always talked to him like over the gate and you only saw the top of his head. But if one day there was like the last shot of Wilson ever was him like walking away from the fence and you can see he was in his underwear the whole time, that'd be kind of creepy.

What if he had his dick out, though? That'd be even creepier. Let me ask you guys this. Wilson from Home Improvement. What kind of crank you think this guy's working with? home improvement what kind of crank you think this guy's working with well i don't know that there's any evidence so i mean i think i would just have to take a wild uneducated guess would you say this guy has small medium or big dick energy oh that's that guy has that guy has a hog that guy's swinging a bat.

That's how I feel about it. With that much sage wisdom, come on, you got to be swinging. Yeah, I think Big Dick Energy implies a kind of a calm, you know, kind of a, at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter what happens to me because I've got this. Yeah. Th thick old boy. T.O.B. I'm Tobin. Mm-hmm. So, yeah.

No, I think I agree with you, Chris. I think that, yeah, his cool demeanor, his knowing what kind of folksy advice to give Tim for any situation. Yeah. Suggests that Wilson is packing. Oh, he's any situation. Yeah. Suggests that Wilson is packing. Oh, he's packing heat. Yeah. What about the family feud guy from Home Improvement? Richard Karn?

Yeah. I think Richard Karn's doing it. Yeah, I think Karn's got a little nubbin'. But he can eat pussy. He can eat pussy. He can really... He's made up, so he's... I don't think you'd be upset to go to bed with Karn, because, you know...

He's a foreplay man. He's a foreplay man. Yeah, Karn will lay down a trail of rose petals, light some candles, and he will attack that box. Can I say one other thing yeah i think we can all agree on this the best hog in hollywood richard kind sure right yeah richard kind is this guy's probably i mean just imagine the majesty yeah he's packing yeah a little bit of a hang dog look though yeah should we go go down and just list tertiary characters from 90s

sitcoms and say what we think their genitals look like uh niles niles from fraser i think a medium yeah i think mediums medium sounds good to me. Yeah. I didn't actually want to do it. I just thought it'd be funny to propose it. Well, look, I said medium. Would it be funny to do it? I don't know.

No, it wouldn't. We're done. We're done. It's done. But why did we do it in the first place? No one knows. We might as well do it more or not. It doesn't matter.

We're just making a podcast jordan sure you're right we're not writing a book about world history here that's what matters is books about world history right yes thank you because if we don't learn history we're doomed to repeat it thank you jordan you know i'm i'm gonna teach that to my son. Such a wonderful father. I think it's going to be such an important lesson for him to learn. I'm going to teach him about why 1977 is the best year. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica.

Hi, I'm Hal Loveland. And I'm Mark Gagliardi. And we're the hosts of We Got This with Mark and Hal, the weekly show where we settle the debates that are most important to you. That's right. What arguments are you and your friends having that you just can't settle? Apples or oranges? Marvel or DC?

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on the Trivia Game Show podcast, Go Fact Yourself. Twice a month, every month, on Maximum Fun. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Chris Estrada, LA cutie pie. Nothing but, nothing but a cutie pie.

So we recently started using a social media website called Twitter for the program. I think I've heard of this. Yeah. Well, it's some pretty hot new shit, Chris. If you ask me, it's just people posting pictures of their lunch. Okay. Well, all right. Someone told me Donald Trump was a real hoot on there. Yeah.

He's a lot of fun. The guy from The Apprentice? Yeah. Yeah, he's great. Yeah, he's having fun with fun the guy from the apprentice yeah he's great he really he's uh yeah he's having fun with rosie o'donnell so this podcast is actually taking place in the year 2012 yeah this is a period piece this podcast yes we're at jordan jesse go on there and we have offered ordinarily for your benefit on the program, we ask that people, because we care about customer feedback and quality, we do ask people to tweet corrections to us, but we ask them

to do it through our proxy, J.D. Power and Company. So we usually ask people to tweet corrections at J.D. Power. But at this time, because we have this new Twitter account of Jordan Jessica, we are taking corrections directly. We have one this week from at Bailey S or Bailey's could be Bailey's just named after the Irish cream drink.

Yeah. Are brands trolling us now? Are we getting our break? Yeah. Can we get a correction from Wendy's? We've got something here from at carnation, instant breakfast. The correction just says there are no vitamins in me.

You are a fool to drink so much of me as a child. So at Bailey's on Twitter writes, in relation to a spider's supposed cloaca in the recent Riley Silverman episode. And I don't remember discussing a spider's cloaca, but I mean, I presume it's we did, right? It's on brand. I don't want to encourage this, but I think you could probably get through with a fake correction at this point, just like something we probably said. Yeah. I mean, I think somebody who was trying to fake correct us would write in with something about a cloaca. Yeah, no, I think... You got a 50% chance on a given episode of Jordan, Jesse, go that we've brought up cloacas and gotten something wrong about it.

So yeah, I mean, you know, don't go out of your way to fake correct us, but if you do, you'll probably have success getting it on the show anyway. Yeah, I mean, Daniel picks these. God knows he's not listening. I must clarify, says Bailey S, that spiders do not have a cloaca. Like most arthropods,

they have separate openings for reproduction and waste elimination. Boy, so I guess we owe spiders an apology. Yeah. Do you think Spider-Man has a cloaca? No, I think he has separate openings. Really? Yeah.

One for reproduction, one for waste elimination, and one for producing tears for when he remembers how his Uncle Ben was killed before his very eyes. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. You know that jizz that comes out of his hand? Where does that come from? That's a separate opening. Yeah. Okay. The jizz, yeah. I guess depending on what

Spider-Man you're talking about, what universe we're in, but sometimes it's like a scientific device that he's created. In most Spider-Man stories, it's a a scientific device i guess they changed it for the sam raimi trilogy that it's a natural product which i think was a fun anyway i'm i i want to leave should i text elliot calen real quick and just sorry he warged into my body for a moment. I saw the defeat in your eyes when you caught yourself going into the Sam Raimi trilogy,

and then you were just like, I know too much. Yeah. If I keep this up, I'm not going to want to fuck me. You know, J. Jonah Jameson is an older man. Do you think the reason that he... Chris, for your benefit, this is a newspaper publisher who hates that damn spider-man oh yeah why would it menace do you think that it's possible that jay jona jameson just resents spider-man because jay jona jameson can barely get it up whereas spider-man shoots jizz out of his wrists. I think so. Yeah. I think, yeah.

The story of Spider-Man is one of penis envy. Yeah. I think he hates his virility, you know? Just like, bro. Yeah. People hate the virile. Yeah. Yeah.

We've been prosecuted. You can tweet your corrections at Jordan Jesse go Chris Estrada thank you so much for making the time to come on our program we know you're a big television star you got the funniest show on television this fool and thank you guys for having me this was a lot of fun it's a real honor and look if you're out there in Jordan Jesse go land and you got the hulu service make time right now to watch this pool because this fucking show is tremendous i fucking love this shit absolutely recommend and you know what if you don't have hulu get that shit yeah it's like eight bucks i don't know 12 bucks i don't know just get it email me i'll send you screeners send you screeners. Chris will send you screeners. Email Chris Estrada.

He will send you screeners. You will have to get a unique code via text message. But you know what? It's worth it. DVDs, flash drive with MP4s on them. Yeah. These are all great formats to watch.

This fool. Laser video disc. Oh, yeah. Great aspect ratio on that thing. incredible send it out on you know what chris you should be sending this out on film strips for people to watch uh in like double features with stag flicks oh yeah i'm gonna start sending that out it's just a little like flip books you know oh? Oh, yeah. That's fun. That could be. Have you thought about doing a zoetrope at all? That's what I think. That's exactly what I was thinking.

Just the world's biggest zoetrope. Can I recommend something to you, Chris? Yeah. This is just an idea. What if you brought it to schools to teach kids not to do drugs? Oh, that's interesting. Like a little school tour. You could put together a

little stage show yeah maybe you could get slim good body involved yeah keep them away from the meth sure yeah you know what i always say if you want to keep kids away from meth you got to keep them close to michael imperioli oh Yeah. Nobody's doing meth on that guy's around. He'll just knock it out of your hands. The middle schoolers are like, boo, we, we wanted little Stevie. Where's the big pussy at? This will, it's on Hulu. It's so fucking funny. You can also watch Chris doing standup comedy on your YouTubes and specials and live in person. Chris is a hilarious standup comic. Thanks for making the time, Chris. You can find us on Twitter at Jordan, Jesse go at Jesse Thorne at Jordan underscore Morris. We're on Instagram at Jordan, David Morris at put.this.on. Daniel Zafran is our producer on the program.

Brian Sonny DeFernandez, our producer emeritus. Our theme is Love You by The Free Design, our thanks to The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records for letting us use that music. You can find us on Reddit at maximumfun.reddit.com. And if you're on Twitter, you want to talk about the show, use the hashtag JordanJesseGo. You're going to find, Jordan, this is something we're saving for a future episode, but you're going to find somebody did the math on that malt cup full of jizz. What a treat. Do you think if it's a jizz malt, oh God, we should be saving this, but I just, something to think about. You don't have to answer this. Something to think about. Do you think if it's a malt, that changes the math because you got to put malt powder in there?

Or is it like an asparagus pea thing where you eat some malt powder or like a pineapple thing and it makes it malted? Jesse, it malts. Did we just become the Mythbusters? I think we did. Wait a minute. What's this beret on my head? And why do I talk so much less? Okay.

We'll be back next week on Jordan, Jessica. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you.

Maximumfun.org. love you.