Jordan, Jesse, GO! - A Real Born Nut, with Matt Apodaca

Episode Date: September 10, 2026

This week, we’re joined by host of Get Played and producer extraordinaire Matt Apodaca to talk about Warhammer 40k, train freaks, fun shroom names, and so much more *Check out Matt on Instagram*Check out Matt on Get Played*Get the JJGo X Stankus merch!*Preorder The Amazing Venom*Check out more Amazing Spiderman content from Jordan.*Order Jordan’s new Web of Venom comic.*Check out Jordan’s comic Predator: Bloodshed.* Order Jordan’s new Predator comic: Black, White & Blood!* Order Jordan’s new Venom comic!* Donate to Al Otro Lado.* Purchase signed copies of *Youth Group* and *Bubble* from Mission: Comics And Art! ~ NEW JJGo MERCH ~Get  Bronto Dino-Merch!Get our ‘Ack Tuah’ shirt in the Max Fun store.Grab an ‘Ack Tuah’ mug!The Maximum Fun Bookshop!Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes!Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On.Produced by Christian DueñasHelp support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinjjgo Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinjjgo

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and sucks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, I read it online. So if you're online... There sure is a lot of stuff to read on there.

If you're online using web, you know about the website Reddit. This is a popular discussion forum. Well, people chat about everything from minerals to what racists are good at things. Various things. The real breadth. The breadth of human endeavor. Everything. How to steal nudes from celebrities.

That was a while ago now. Sure. Anyway. From air friars to 3D printing a gun. They're talking about it. on Reddit Okay, so on our segment

I read it I read it on the internet On the internet Jordan sometimes when we're out in the world Not being in the world But rather just sitting in our house on Reddit Instead of anecdotes from our lives

We just have a thing we saw on Reddit That's right, we read it And we react Because people love it when people react to things Can I just say? Yeah. Jesse Thorne, first time hearing Reddit post reaction. Right.

Just like a Gen Z kid hearing Led Zeppelin for the first time and going, what's this? To, okay, so this is from. Just so you know, I'm going to make up my own drum part before you play me the original drum part from the original recording of this Reddit post. Incredible. Hey, you know, we usually don't do it this quick, but we love. love this guy. You want to bring in the guest and we'll all react together. This guy is a beloved regular Jordan Jesse Go guest. Yes. He's running for office.

You can tell by the way that he shakes hands as he, when he enters, when he enters your workplace, he is, of course, one of the hosts of Get Played, as well as a podcast super producer, Matt Apodaca. Thank you. And I currently don't have a platform, so I'm up for grabs. You can just tell me whatever you want. And I'll say I'll do it. Here's a spicy one. Especially in L.A. Okay, great. Where I imagine you'll be running.

That's right. Just where you live. I'm going to run for president of Los Angeles. How about this? Just to mix it up, come out as pro pothole. You know what? There's more of these things out there. I haven't read all the information.

I do think that, like, I'm hearing a lot from one side in particular that people think these potholes not too good. I'm going to sort of have to maybe take the other side on this. They were there first. Can I just say, you say, we're on their land. That's right. You say, I'm going to run. for president of Los Angeles.

Yeah. As though that is a ridiculous thing to say. Right. When 100% that's what Spencer Pratt said before he decided to run for mayor. I sort of forgot all about him, which was very fortunate of me until this very moment. And now I want to choke somebody. I just, I just, I mean, I miss so many things about Spencer Pratt being gone from the new cycle. I think the thing I miss most, those beautiful AI billboards all around.

board's really, really great. Him as Batman. I kind of just think if he just kept two wearing hummingbird feeders, that would have just been fine. I would have been okay with that. What was that? There was a period of time on Instagram where he was like wearing hummingbird feeders. Oh, this is like before he started to run.

Before he started to run. He had like a fun weirdo internet presence. Yeah, yeah. He's like, now I'm a little kooky. I'm like, you know what? More power to you. Be a kook. That's absolutely fine with me.

don't try to you know make laws or whatever yeah open a frozen yogurt store it's fine we all like it hell yeah I voted for him back to you Jordan okay I'm not gonna tell you guys who I voted for it's a secret ballot and we respect

Jordan what did you find on Reddit oh before I dive it actually this is from I should say I'll tease it a little bit this is from one of our favorite subreddits of course we really like subreddits with specific interests where people are drilling down on one thing that they love. And of course, we keep coming back over and over again to R-slash model trades. Yeah, we love our slash model trades.

I can't imagine that that subreddit is not, not without its own controversies as well. You know, like it can, but I feel like it's probably a little more on the pleasant side. It usually is. Yeah, I mean, things will get spicy every now and then, you know, amidst the foamers. is what they call themselves because they shape things out of foam. Oh, I thought they foam at the mouth at how much they love trains.

Yeah, I love this caprice. I was happy to hear it was at the mouth. Sure. These guys will foam for wherever. Can I tell you a post I just saw on R slash marbles? Oh, sure. It was a guy who had bought two bags of marbles at an estate sale for $10.

And he poured them into a bowl and he said, anything good in here? And somebody replied, it was the top reply. It said, look, two bags of marbles for $10, you can't lose. Okay, go ahead, Jordan. I do want to ask Matt, I don't know how on Reddit you are or just when you're just aimlessly, you know, surfing for something while you're waiting for food to come.

Yeah. Do you have a place on the internet you like to go to just look at random shit? I mean, I am on Reddit, but I sort of like am pretty intentional with like the subredits that I'm following, so it'll be a lot of, like, R-slash Eldon Ring, for example. Sure. I'm probably going... People are chill in there. People in there are pretty chill.

I just like watching, like, gameplay clips of people, like, just getting owned or doing the owning themselves, you know? So it's a lot of, like, video game subredits. I'm trying to think if there's one... I was a big fan of R-slash obscure media for a while. Oh, yeah. I've had some fun on there. Just because it's, like, they're showing me a video I could have never seen before or something.

That's, like, where they'll post, like, uh, the... the less famous equivalent of that video where the friends from friends are talking about Windows 95. Yeah, it'll be stuff like that or it'll be like a training video for like a regional Taco Bell or something. Yeah, you get a lot of like training videos

about once a year they post the pilot that Conan O'Brien wrote for Adam West. Oh yeah, look well? Yeah, that's what that was called. I just watched that. From on our slides from obscure media? No, I was just watching it on YouTube. I was just thinking.

about it. I'm like, I'm going to go back and watch that. Yeah, yeah. That kind of thing pops up there a lot. That stuff's great. But R-slash Model Trains has a lot of fun. This post, I will warn you, has a little bit of a baby shoes for sale. Never worn. Okay, so it has a tragic edge? A darkness, yeah.

And we do get more information here, but I think just, you know, prepare yourself for you know, the breadth of the end of town. Sure. Born in the USA. This, The title of this post is, has your ex-wife tried to take your trains in the divorce? Has your ex-wife tried to take your trains in the divorce?

A little more information here. Well, fellas, dot, dot, dot. And he's right to say fellas. Yeah. He knows who's there. There might be a couple NBs in there. Could, yeah, could be, could be. But largely overwhelmingly fellas.

Yeah. Well, fellas, I'm sorry to say my worst nightmare has finally come true. I know that she has no interest in the actual art I've created, and she's only trying to maximize emotional damage. Anybody been in a similar situation or have any helpful advice? So this guy is going through a divorce and this woman who doesn't care about his art. And perhaps, I'll go out on a limb, has been annoyed by it or inconvenienced by it during their marriage. Sure. I mean, I think it's fair to say it's taken over a whole part of the house. Sure. There's a portion of the house that's gone, you can't use for other things.

And she's taking the trains. Now, the fellas and one or two NBs of our slash model trains, by and large, are being fucking great about this. I love it. They're just, they're like, hey, it's just trains. It's just trains. It doesn't matter. you know, move on. And this is their community. They're being like, hey, it's not that big a deal. These are our favorite thing. It's fine. This is like in R slash male living spaces when somebody posts like just a really

fucking dire picture, just a truly dire picture. And then underneath it says, in the military for 10 years, homeless for two, just got a new place. And everybody is like, man, awesome. Looks good, King. One day at a time. Yeah. Like, I love your dog. I do just remember a good subreddit R slash TV too high.

And it's like people have, that amount to TVs. And it's like, you know it when you see it immediately. And it's immediately embarrassing for some reason. Yeah. It's really good. Oh, but it's just a little too high too. It's like barely too high. Oh, yeah.

I have seen some though. We're like, what's that doing all the way up there? Like that's like, sure. What is this doctor's office waiting? There's one response in this. It's a little long. I feel like it's worth a read. Please.

Okay. Jordan, give it everything you got. I will, thank you. It's a little long, but I think it's worth it. Jordan, yeah. If you're going to do this, okay. Make it count. I got to give it everything I got.

I'm here to win. I am not going home tonight. You don't have a go home to go home to. Right. It's that bitch-ex wife Took all your train Yeah, you don't even got a caboose to live in Oh boy

I wish I had a caboose to live in Fellas you ever wish you were tiny You could live in Hey guys I was just wondering Do you want to live in the little town you've created? I was watching miniature wife And I got to think it

Matt Can I tell you what I like to say on this show? Please It's just a little bit of advice for you Yeah Just remember miniature wife, miniature life. Yes, yes.

How have I never heard that before? That's so good. Happy miniature life. I'm gonna go say that to my wife when I gave home to that. I mean, she's not that tall. She's smaller than me? Okay. And I'm a little guy.

You're a little guy. All right, Jordan. Okay. Rip and run. That's what I say. Let's hear this thing. Give it everything. Oh, boy.

Have I been here through things ended up working out in an unexpected way? Weird grammar here. Twelve years ago, my second wife decided she wanted to become more active and took up tennis, dot, dot, dot. She had me paying for these private lessons with a coach twice a week. Well, needless to say, I was paying for this guy, hand over fist, and they weren't playing a lot of tennis. Let me tell you.

When she decided she wanted divorce, things got ugly and fast. While we were dividing up assets, things became petty, and she tried to take every train I had along with all of my gundams. To be fair, I had tried to strong arm my way into getting her collection of mini-mouse years, both shares of the Disney Vacation Club and her healing crystals or whatever. Well, long story short, she just whined... Did you say both shares of the Disney Vacation Club? Both chairs of the Disney Vacation Club. Okay, continue.

This train guy is also a Disney adult. Important to know. I need those ears. Well, long story short, she's whined her way into getting the whole collection, and the judge sided with her, even though she didn't even know a caboose from a steam engine. Fucking sick, burn. They go on different ends of the train, lady. Well, that's how little she knows about trains.

I kind of wonder if she even is a lady if she's fucking this tennis. instructor instead of her own husband. Three years later, I'm burning the candle at both ends to pay alimony and rent because things have really gotten off the rails. That's fun. Rails. Oh. I had become depressed and was spending a lot of money. I miss my wife's caboose.

Yeah. My engine to keep living had run out. She was fucking her tennis trainer. Oh. I had become depressed and was spending a lot of... This guy's a no brakes, men. Yes I'm running out of Steve

I don't like this bit Well it's not funny We're just saying things I'm having fun But it's not good No no no There's fun and then there's good Sure

And they're both on two separate islands Yeah absolutely They don't even know the other one exists They just cut off They wave Hello, good Hello, fun Hello, fun

Hello, the pit I'm a I'm a YouTube video about improv So The Pit is fun? Yes, and the video about improv is good Three years later I'm burning the candle at both ends

To pay alimony and rent And things had really gone off the rails I had become depressed And was spending a lot of money On pornography, I know I know. I was at the local farmer's market where I'd go to pick up chicks when what do you know I ran into her

we got small talking in a civil enough manner and I asked her how much did she ever end up getting for the trains? Well it turns out she never sold them and had become somewhat of a foamer herself. It's people who shaped the foam into little mountains and stuff. Are you sure it's not people that foam at the mouth? Don't think so Christian can you look up

foamer for us? Thank you. I'll just finish this. I asked her if I could see them and the next thing you know I'm at her place and there's some locomotion. Let me tell you. Things smoothed over and we actually ended up reconciling over the trains. We've been back together since 2017, and these have been the best years of my life. Trains can be a powerful vehicle for healing, understanding, and mutual respect.

Holy shit. This is fucking awesome. Now, did it happen? Maybe some of it happened, the part where he got divorced and the other stuff didn't happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But the rest of this was typed in like a padded room or something. This might have been generated by some kind of pornography. AI that he was paying a lot of money for.

Yeah, sure, sure, sure. I know, I know. That's what he said about the pornography. Yeah. I know, I know. Don't come for me. Sure, I'm already coming for me. Because I'm spending all this money on porno.

Hello, good. Hey, fun. We're over here. I know, hi, hi, fun. Yeah. Christian, do you get any information on an offshore boat? Called interesting. That's interesting.

Christian, what do we got? I have two things to say. Yeah. Oh, no. Pick one. Foamers is because of they're foaming at the mouth. They're rabid for trains. They're horny for trains.

But I also wanted to say I'm reading the same thread that you are. Hold on, Christian. Yeah. And now I'm kind of feeling like I'm not sure I can trust you on the rest of this stuff. Me? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, I was wrong about foamers. I thought it was people who made the little models out of foam, like the hills and the...

Anyway, I'm wrong. Apparently, it's a mean term. According to it's R-slash trains, not model trains, it's just R-slash trains. Okay. And that is a, there's a, I feel like a discernible difference because, like, you can go on, like, R-slash gamers and R-slash gaming. Uh-huh. Two completely different vibes talking about the exact same thing. Shout out to R-slash-M-L-L.

be in our slash baseball. Oh, sure. There's people in our slash baseball like, they swear, they're like, this fucking subreddit is for discussing the best way to throw a slider. Yeah.

And then everyone else is just like, here's a video of show Hey, Otani. But the other day somebody, there's a new women's professional baseball league. Somebody posted some highlights in there. And somebody was, you know,

when, someone posts a thing about women's sports and not specific to women's sports venue. People behave cool and normal. Yeah, a lot of people get weird. Somebody was talking shit and they were like, get out of my fucking subreddit. And somebody was like, I think you're in the wrong subreddit because this is R slash baseball. And that's what they're playing in this clip.

That's good stuff. I love that. There you go. Can't argue with the facts. You can. That's just real talk. Speaking of. Anyway, was there anything else you were lying about or?

No, apparently just that. Any other yarns you want to spin over there? There are huge lies. You want to tell us about what it fomer means? Christian, is there a number two item? I think I made a leap, but I'm sorry. I thought I had this figured out. I'll take it in a notes app.

Thank you. It happens to everybody. Wow. Just screencast that. It's been a wild couple of days. Yeah. I've been listening and learning. Yeah.

I'm going to be quiet for a while. You won't hear from me for three days. Until I emerge. I'm doing stand-up now. Right. until I win a Grammy. You won't hear from me until I'm playing the Hollywood Bowl

for I am a canceled man. The second thing I want to talk about. Oh, yes, two things. Oh, right. There was a reply to this comment. And I thought it was good words of wisdom from grinning dog, grinning underscore dog.

Sometimes you take the train and sometimes the train takes you. Wow. Wow. And sometimes, come on, ride the train. Come on and ride it. Yeah, chew, chew. As the Vanga boys once said,

in Soviet Russia, that train takes you. That's sort of the bridge between good and fucks. That's the Yakoff boys. That famous 90s dance pop group. I hope this did happen. Me too. I like that it had, even if it's fake, Who doesn't love a resolution like that?

Yeah, it's perfect. I feel like even if this is just the worst kind of AI slop lie, at least it's the uplifting kind and not the kind that just says like Somalis are stealing public benefits. Yeah, yeah. Or maybe we'll see this very, this very plot appear in one of these fruit videos. Have you guys seen these fruit videos? I have seen these, yes. This is a, yes, this is a vertical, right?

That's what this is. Yeah, yeah, it would always be like, you know, some, like, it's always a pair of fruit, and then they have, like, a baby, and then the baby is a different fruit, and that's always some sort of, you know, that's always a cause of some sort of conflict, because they're like, okay, like, somebody stepped down on somebody. Right. So these are, like, these are anthropomorphic fruits, but they're having these, like, melodramas. Yes. And nothing fun, there's no fruit puns in it.

No. But sometimes there'll be. like their names will be like Straubelina or something. Sure. But that's related to the fake Italian talk that children like for a while. Oh, like the tomb tomb. Yeah, it is sort of like, it feels like an option of that. I did see one about baseball.

And it was like a baseball bat and baseball family. And they were dressed as the Padres. And they're like, this is a Padres house. We do not. You're only ever going to play for the Padres. And then this kid grows up. He's playing baseball. He gets scouted from the dang Dodgers.

And it's a big deal. It's a big deal. This AI baseball family was not taking that well. Honestly, the biggest deal to me, fruit playing baseball. Because normally that's something people do. Right. And the occasional golden retriever. Yeah, well, yeah, there's no rule against it.

Nothing in the rule book. It says banana can't play baseball. Man, they got these in minor league baseball. A lot of minor league baseball teams. they got dogs to bring the balls to the umpires. Love that. We all love it until this year a guy tripped over the dog and had a season-ending injury. Oh, my God.

How's the dog? Yeah. Dog's fine. Dog's fine. They put the dog down. A person, not sure. A dog immediately put down. Public execution.

With the pitching machine. It's awful. Somebody ran on the field with a giant net on a stick. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Okay, let's take a quick break. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I am Jesse Thorne, America's Radio sweetheart. And every single episode of Jordan Jesse Go is brought to you, the person listening right now by you, the person listening right now.

If you're a member of Maximum Fun, if you are not a member of Maximum Fun and you're listening right now, it's easy to join. Go to Maximum Fun. Go to Maximum Fun. dot org slash join jjgo and you'll be a member at the $5 a month level almost instantly. I mean, I'm talking about a snap of the fingers. That's maximum fund.org slash join JJGO and you will get access to lots of bonus content. We are also supported this week by our friends at Factor. I will tell you what, I am in the middle of moving. And when you are moving, everything is all over everywhere and you do not know.

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And hey, not only can you shop from me in my vintage and antique store at put this on shop.com, but because I'm moving, I am having a garage sale. So, if you're in Southern California, you can stop by on Saturday, September 12th, starting at 9 a.m. And the best way to get there is just go to video tech and you will see us and our signs. So go to video tech and basically Highland Park, Lincoln Heights, Cypress Park, in northeast Los Angeles. Stop by, say hi, and buy some sporting goods that I don't want to bring with me. And other stuff, antiques. Anybody need a bed or a dining room table? I got to get rid of both of those.

Okay, I'll see you Saturday, September 12th. Again, go to video tech and look around 360 degrees. You'll spot us. And we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. It's Jordan Jesse Go. sweetheart. Jordan Morris boy detective. Manapadaka sipping a nice cold glass of water in these in these times. I say, I saw Christian gave you cubes. I'm concerned about mic noise.

I know because here's the thing too. I'm a bit of an ice crutcher and I'm going to try to not to get it in there because I just chew on ice and I know I'm not supposed to. One, because we're talking to microphones. Two, teeth. You're not supposed to do that. You're not supposed to do it because of your teeth? My dentist is always like chewing on ice And I'm like yeah all the time They're always like you gotta stop doing that I love to crunch the stuff

Yeah Your dentist says that to you The things that they notice Shock me Does your dentist have a DDS DDS degree? That's not your goddamn business Jesse Okay

Fair enough We're not talking about who we voted for We're not talking about where our dentist Went to school I believe they do But I'm also in the middle of switching dentists Because your dentist was busy

Running for Mayor of Los Angeles That's right My dad just wasn't from an AI video It was an AI banana He did not talk about being a banana He just called me Cuh Yeah Oh good

How are things over there It's further and further away Christian has an important Fomer update Christian what's the Fomer update So Fomer is A slur basically For people

Like the actual like to term I guess That they like to call themselves Is rail fan Who's not a fan of getting railed? That's what I'm talking about. That's my ex-wife. I've never been married. And if I was married and I did get a divorce, I would wish her the best.

We're still friends and dedicated to co-parenting the children we never have. You know what, Jordan? I am married and I still wish my wife the best. That's great. and this is wonderful man this is like that's like it's good i just you know i've been married now almost two years that's thank you so much that's you know sometimes when you're new you got to see stuff like that that's huge that's huge that's a good example for the the young guys out there they're married now yeah i was sure you were going to say i have a Pokemon tattoo yeah and i still have a wife

yeah that is true well hang on hold on Unfortunately, that's the newest one. Jesse, he also has a kingdom hearts tattoo. I mean, I was actually looking at the available space that I have because I think something that I think about is that there's just actually not enough skin for the amount of... It's more skin, buddy. I got to get some more skin.

But every time I'm thinking about getting a tattoo, I'm always telling my wife that I want to get a lot, like a lot more. And she always very sweetly sort of talking. me into, how about just one for this time? Just like, just one. You don't got to go nuts. And you're like, how they can't get hard otherwise?

Yeah, that's right. I got to have a long conversation with a stranger while they're working. Right. That's the part I like. Bothering someone at work. I'm glad that your enthusiasms came up on the program. Yes. And I'll tell you why.

I have been spending a lot of time in Glendale, California with my friend Kyle, the general manager of the Warhammer 40K store there. Okay, great. Yeah. My nine-year-old, obsessed with Warhammer 40K. Awesome. Likes to go there by a little tiny guy for $40. Yeah, yeah. And then hang out with the adult men who paint their figurines there.

And I, as I've said on this program before, couldn't support it more enthusiastically. All of these people are the fucking sweetest. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It is such a sweet and lovely place for my nine-year-old to spend time. He really puts a lot of attention into these and a lot of care and has been gaining a lot of new skills from doing it. It's wonderful. Now, that said, Warhammer, there's a lot of little guys. Yeah.

And then in addition to there being a lot of little guys, there's a lot of proprietary paints that you use. to paint the little tiny guys. So the guys come in pieces, you glue the pieces together. I mean, you would know this from your ex-wife's Gundam collection. She didn't get in my Gundams, I'll tell you that. I'll burn them.

I'll burn them first. You glue the little pieces of the guys together. Yeah. And then you paint the little guys. Yeah. And you use the proprietary Warhammer paint, and there's opaque paints and translucent paints. There's matte and glosses.

and gloss finishes, there's all different kinds of paints. And each of the paints, there's a whole wall of paints. And that entire wall of paints, each paint has its own name. And so that's why I'm going to have the two of you play this game that is called Fun Little Guy, Fun Guy, or Fun from this guy. Okay, great. Okay, I like this. Hell yet.

We were talking about fun earlier, so this is a nice little tie. I'm very aware of fun. Oh, yeah. What you'll get is a list of three names. Yeah. One will be the name of a type of proprietary Warhammer paint. Great. One will be the name of a mushroom or fungus or lichen or moth.

Sure. One will be some shit I made up. I love it. Because you're having fun. And you're, because I'm having fun. It's fun. It's a fun thing from this guy. Yeah.

So your job is to identify which is a paint, which is a fungus, and which is some shit I made up. Hell yeah. Makes sense, Matt? It makes perfect sense to me. Christian, are you ready to keep score? Because I'm not. Yes. Okay.

He said yes. He was so busy being ready that he didn't turn on his microphone. But we heard him. That's how ready he was. We heard him from down there saying yes. Matt, since you're the guest here, I think I'm going to give you the chance to go first. Great. here are your choices which is butter

nergles rot titty's twist tough which is rot is the mushroom that's not one of the choices which is butter which is butter or nergles rot okay which is butter is the mushroom

nergles rot is the paint and titis twist is the fun thing you made up that's what that would have been my guess too man You know what, Jordan? Matt's right. Three out of three. Wow, strong, stark. Hell yes.

Strong. Hell yes. Now you think you're pretty smart, Jordan. Oh, I do. You think you're hot shit. Oh, yeah. You're over there on smart island. That's true.

Yeah. With Diane Rame. Me and Audie Cornish, feeding each other coconuts. Get me to that island. Sorry, too dumb. I wish I could. Please get me over there. Well, okay.

My friend Neil deGrasse Tyson recently passed. away. So there's a spot. I think he's fine. Remember that time I interviewed Audie Cornish and then I accidentally got her mad at me? Oh, no. And then just like for years afterwards, people were like, that asshole, the fucking idiot that got Audie Cornish mad at him.

Anyway. Yeah. Okay. You want to read the mushroom thing? Since you're such hot shit. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Mr.

Smarty Pants. Oh, yeah. Screaming. You're a smart island. Screaming bell. Uh-huh. Destroying Angel. Uh-huh.

Fapping lad. Okay, give me that first one again? The first one is screaming bell. Okay. Destroying Angel, fapping lad. Screaming Bell, I believe is the fungus. Destroying Angel, I believe, is the paint. It's pretty metal, pretty dark, heavy metal fantasy.

And the last thing. Fapping lad. Thank you. I believe that is the thing. That's Jordan when he was talking to you. Okay. And also earlier today. He spends,

he spends a lot of money on pornography. I know. I know. I know. I know. Just the fuck up, I know. There's just no way to get it for free. There's no.

And I have no imagination. I can't think of anything to jack off to. Jordan's screaming bell is a paint. Oh my gosh. destroying angel is a fungus. Really? Man. Fapping Lad is indeed something I made up.

Or it's more of a... It's the title of my autobiography. Sure. Wow. I fucking blew it. I'm Christian era. Oh, boy. We got some videos of picks of mushrooms up there on the screen.

Destroying angels are gross. I don't want anything to do with that. If I saw one of those, I'd kick it. Kick it away. As I'm concerned. I mean, can I say one thing? I'm looking at this thing? You know what I'm?

The first thing I'm thinking? without a base, without a trace. Yeah, those look like butt plugs. Oh, they do. They look like the buck. Oh, they look like the buck plugs. Jordan's new character, the butt plug identifier. Oh, yeah.

Actually killing me. Oh, yeah. I'm dumb enough to love that. Well, I got a podcast for you, the one you're on. I can wait to go back and listen. to this shit. Oh, you're going to be cracking up at the car later. Okay.

Here are your choices, Matt. Hell yeah. Bleeding tooth, port noise complaint, rat skin flesh. Ratskin flesh is the paint. Portnoy's complaint is the fun thing you made up. And the first one is the mushroom. Bleeding tooth is a mushroom.

rat skin flashes of paint and port noise complaint is an acclaimed novel by Philip Roth. Three out of three for Matt Apodaca. Damn, I'm looking good. Duke Nukem's here? Oh, baby, something from Evil Dead. Take your pick. Christian, can you say shit from Evil Dead? Duke Nukem, he just said other people's catchphrases?

It is very funny that he just is like, I say this now. That's mine. Yababababoo. That's my thing. I am not a crook. Port noise complained. Just saying titles of books? I thought that was like when, you know, he takes a bite of the pizza and doesn't like it.

Ooh. Christian, can you confirm, I believe that gives Matt Apodaca commanding six to one lead. Is that correct? Yeah, I gave Jordan an extra point because he looks nice today. Oh, thank you, Christian. That's really nice, Christian. I don't remember giving you that power, but... And you kind of have to then...

You kind of have to do that for everybody? Because I kind of feel like it's not fair. Do you not feel like Matt Apodaca looks nice today? Okay. That's tough. Look, that's just Christian being real with your... I don't really, and I respect it because my man's got that shit on. So I have to then, you know, I have to sort of take what I, you know, what I can get.

You know what? Maybe I didn't earn it today. Hold on. What's that sound? Drip. Drip. Oh, that's Jordan's fucking drip. That's my drip.

I think maybe Christian was setting me up to say that I am wearing the stankest the rat t-shirt that you can buy at maxfundstore.com. Our collaboration with the stankest boys. Yeah, from the stankest boys' ex-J-J-Go collection. Maxfundstore.com. It is a nice shirt. Hell yeah. It's a great shirt. Thank you.

It's got a cool s on it. Jordan, you ready to catch back up? I am ready. Okay. Here are your choices. The Fang. Harry Curtin' crust. Arthur Fonzarelli

Okay Harry curtain crust I think is the mushroom Arthur Fonzarelli is the thing you made up I mean that's like the Fonz's legal name And what's the first thing? The first thing was the fang I think the fang is the paint

That's three out of three Jordan Wow We're back baby We're back baby Yeah I'm thinking I'm back Duke Nukem said that, not John Wick. Kawabunga, Homer. I mean, it's incredible that Duke Nukem anticipated John Wick's catchphrase.

Yeah, he's like, I'm going to say that I said this. I guess I did. And it's going to be a guy. Later. A guy will, count of Rees will have a comeback. Okay, you ready? I'm ready. Okay.

Wolf's milk. Garagax sewer Fattie's bong rip Okay I'm gonna go mushroom paint fun You know

There's a part of me that thinks I should have anticipated That Matt Appadaca Would run the fucking table Oh my God Three out of three again for Matt Apataka Wolf's milk is indeed a mushroom Geregack's sewer is a paint and Fattie's bong rip is just me having a fond memory of a time that

my friend Tyler was driving us down from the UCSC campus to downtown Santa Cruz. And we took on a hitchhiker and he was quiet for a while. And then he said, so do you guys pull fat bong rips? What a cool guy. What was the, what was a, had the conversation go after that? I don't know that any of us pulled fat bong rips. wrong rips at the time. Not to his satisfaction.

But the thing is... That rip wasn't fat enough. I'm getting, I'm walking. You said you... Some rib wasn't fat. He just had such a purely positive attitude about it. And it had been clear that he had spent some time considering what a good opening line would be.

Because he was quiet for two, three, four minutes. Like, it wasn't like he got in or he like made the roll down the window motion, you know, one of us rolled down the window and he said it was like hey do you guys pull fatty bong rips yeah that would have been the like that could have been the first thing he said and then you'd be like oh no sorry and then not pick him up or whatever i mean but it it was the first thing he said he just waited quite a while to say yeah he's working up the courage he probably said thanks hey thanks for the ride yeah pretty gracious guy by the way okay jordan yeah back to you what do we got nip slicer mopswalker uh-huh

Dead Man's fingers. Okay, I have a pretty clear feeling of where I want to go for this. Sounds like Madadapadac has got a pretty clear feeling of what it would be like to be nipslice. Youch! No thanks. That's going to leave a mark. They're sensitive. I mean, they're sensitive.

They're sensitive. They're sensitive, Homer. Galabunga. I'm Bart. I don't really know anything about Duke Nukem. Didn't it come after Wolfensstein 3D? Jesse, you're doing it. You don't need to know.

Just say someone else's catchphrase. You can just say shit. Oh, that's what a podcast is. There you see. You're fine. You're doing the bit. I understand because I know what podcasts are. That's right.

Yes. Nip slicer thing you made up. Second thing. Pox Walker. I think that is the paints. And the third thing is... Dead man's fingers. Oh, yeah.

That's a shroom. Can I just say a one, a two, a three points for Jordan who got all. We're back, baby. Right. And I'm not going to lie. Dead man's fingers looks upsettingly like the fingers of a dead man. Yeah, they look like they're crawling out of, you know, climbing out of the ground, reaching out from the depths. Like a character from the evil dead.

Yes. Or those hand things Jordan would know from Eldon Ring, those big hand things. They walk around like spiders, but they're big ants. I hate those freaks. Sick. And they have ostentatious rings. How rude of them. Yes.

To have such an ostentatious ring that fires a laser beam at you. Anyway. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. You know, because I actually don't know Skyrim.

I don't either. Get to say some Skyrim stuff if you want to. Yeah. I don't really want. We all kind of know what. We understand the general vibe of that. It'd be really cool and fun. for you, I think, to play Eldon Ring.

I think it would be a really fun thing for you to talk about. It sounds too hard. It is hard, but it becomes... I would probably get... Yeah. You might get... Oh, shoot. You might have a skill issue. You might have to get good? But spell G-I-T-G-U-D.

Yeah, that's right. Sounds like a skill issue. Yeah. I do have a skill issue. On the, like, Eldon Ring subreddit, if someone is asking for advice, like that's the... Is my build wrong? It looks like a skill issue. That's the biggest dick thing you can say.

Yeah, yeah. You know what? You know what my skill issue is? What? I have a hard time identifying the clitoris. Well, don't worry about it because it's not real from what I understand. I've been talking to some of my train running, buddy. I see you've read my e-book, Matt.

Thanks for reading my e-book. My self-published e-book about how the clitoris is fake. Let's talk about rail fans. What is the score right now, Christian? Matt has nine. Jordan has seven. Wow. I took the point away.

What's crazy about this is that this is the last question. And you would think that it would be for Matt because Matt is the one that, because Jordan just went. Right. But the last question doubles back. Wow. The last question doubles back. So you can go fuck yourself. I'm out of here.

This one's going on my buddy, Jordan. He's leaving. He's taking off the headphones. Come on, Gallagher. Can I just, can I just say, Matt? This is our. This is our. Would Matt Alpenter back, bro.

That's R Gallagher. Podcast lore. Getting into some podcast lore here. I just want to say, Matt, sorry, but Jordan and I have been fucking friends since college. So you're on the outside looking in on this one. Hey, look, and I like what I see. Oh, yeah. So, Jordan,

I'm going to give you Last Licks. Oh, yeah. All right. Don't make me jealous. Slurp. I know you're a bit of a foamer. I'm a bit of a fomer,

which apparently means I'm foaming at the mouth for trains and not shaping scenery out of foam. And now I, like, the fact that it's like a quote unquote like slur in their community, I'm sort of like, I kind of get it. Yeah. I would hate to be called a foam. I guess I would too, yeah.

Called a rail fan. But I feel like I've heard it non-pejoratively. Like I think maybe it's just like a thing that people have taken on and like they're saying it. And maybe they don't know that it's not their preferred nomenclature. You know, our old friend Davy Rothbart, a creator of Found magazine. Okay. Once found it a cassette tape in like an answering machine or something in a thrift store. Somebody sent it in.

What a gift. And it was like a 12-year-old girl's audio diary from the late 70s. And the part that I remember most vividly from this cassette tape is just at one point the girl goes, oh, gee, I'm a nut, a real born nut. And you know what? I think that when the foamers are calling themselves foamers, what they're really saying is, oh, gee, I'm a nut. A real born nut.

I love that. A real born nut. Oh, gee. A little girl voice. Oh, gee, I'm a nut. A real born nut. And committing it to tape. Sure.

I think about it all the time. It's so sweet. It's the only thing that can compete in my head with that part from the documentary spellbound where the kid says, do I sound like a musical robot? Some great to live. You know, there's some all-time great deliveries.

Sometimes kids are cool. Yeah. Hell yeah. All right, Jordan. Yeah. This is for all the marbles. By all the marbles, I mean the shockingly expensive tiny vials of paint. Yes.

I really do. Can I just emphasize, you know, Kyle might be listening to this. Yeah. What a lovely place the Glendale Warhammer story is. I'm sure it sounds great. That's like a world that I would like to be part of, but I just know I don't need another thing like that. that in my...

Sure. In just like expensive hobbies. In a thing filled life. Yes. Yeah. Like I just started, I'm like dabbling, getting into Magic the Gathering. Oh yeah. And that feels dangerous.

That already just feels like I shouldn't be doing that. Pretty soon you're going to be a regular John Darniel. You're going to be upset about land destroying decks or whatever they're called. I built a... I just built a deck off of a card from the Final Fantasy set that, based on, uh, Una from Final Fantasy 10. I built an entire deck around her. Because, like, what was I supposed to do?

Not do that? You're supposed to do it, Matt. I got the card, and I was like, I got to do this. I did it. I do like all those. And now in the world of magic, Jesse. They got like Spider-Man magic cards. Yeah, that to me was very appealing.

That is what might get me. I don't know if it will happen. I do like to purve out over that art sometimes. The art is very nice. It's very pervable. It's very pervable. I know, I know. I know.

Anyway, but yeah, those licensed magic cards. are really cool to me. It's nuts. Yeah. Anyway. I'm going to have less Star Wars card game cards. And I think there was a Star Trek one too. You might be right.

This was like at the dawn of this phenomenon. It was like magic cards was what other, was what we had in sixth and seventh grade. And I feel like in eighth grade, it switched to Star Trek and Star Wars cards. Yeah. And then those just like went away. After that, I went to arts high school. Okay, great. Yeah.

And I think now, making out. Making out with girls. Now I think that like instead of, if I'm wrong, clerk me if I'm wrong. Instead of creating your own collectible card game, you just had to get absorbed into the magic sphere. It's the same with like Fortnite. There used to be like so many licensed video games

where you would put, you know, these characters from movies and TV in their own video game. And now it's like just licensed the skin to Fortnite. Sure. So Ariana Grande can shoot them with a shotgun. Exactly. It's crazy.

Yeah, I'm so mad. I just feel like it stole my. dream of playing an American Dad themed platformer. If only the Stan plays different than Roger. Rogers has floaty controls. Right. Yes.

Shout out to Matt Apodaka for naming characters from American Dad. The two that I could pull. I would have just been like, yeah, well, I mean, the controls of American Dad are different from the foreign dads. Italian Dad. They're DLC. You can't, you can't, they're not in the base game.

You have to pay to unlock. Yeah. It's against the ultimate edition. 80 bucks. I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, with these, with this art on these Spider-Man, collectible card game cards? Yeah, I'm doing a few micro-transactions. I know, I know, I know.

I know, I know. I know, I know. Okay, Jordan, you ready? Yeah. Golden Griffin, Scarlet Elf Cup. Crystal Pepsi. Golden Griffin That's correct

Is the mushroom Scarlet Elf Cup Oh Well Maybe I think Golden Griffin is the paint Scarlet Elf Cup Is the mushroom

And what's the last thing? Crystal Pepsi It's like a clear Pepsi It's the choice of a new generation Yeah it's otherwise What now? No tomorrow identical to the other Pepsi

Maybe it was like a little fruityer or something Maybe. Maybe they use sugar instead of corn syrup. Maybe. I can't remember. Maybe. But I think that's the one you made up.

Matt Apodaca. Let us have it, Jesse. Come on. We're on pins and needles. Jordan just kicked you square in the arts. Just because I got a whole extra turn. That's all it took. That's why I'm friends with Jordan.

And I'm not friends with Matt Apodaca. Hold on. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse. He's crying. He's crying. We're friends, man. Hey, I love it. He loves it.

Well, gang, it's that time of year again. That's right. Labor Day is here, which means you can't wear white anymore. No. Well, yes, but no, it's great British bake-off season. Oh, right. And that means it's time to draft your teams and play along. There's a new judge in town, but the guys,

games the same. Draft your bakers, score points like it's fantasy football, and talk smacking a group chats. I wonder what Nigella Lawson would think about the scriptal double. So, listen to TV Chef Fantasy League with me, Mike Caballon. If you wadiway. And Sierra Cato. New episodes every week at maximum fun.org,

or wherever you get your podcasts. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I am Jesse Thorne America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, Boy, Detective. And I'm Matt Apodaca. And I'm still friends with everybody. We're all still friends. You know what?

We're all three of us friends. Friends three are we? Even those of us with skill problems. Sure. Yeah, I lost the game. Well, here's the thing. I didn't lose the game because of a skill issue, actually. You lost because of cheating.

The rules being fucked up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Trump called the president of FIFA and had shit changed, and now I lost. Yeah. Matt, I just checked the memes and, I I'm pretty sure you got poned. That's in the memes? It made it all right to the memes already?

Yeah, the meimos is going off. Reading memes is the new reading runes. Yes. Memes are sort of the runes of our day, are they not? That's a really good point. Well, put, my sir. I'm wearing a pointy cap with moons and stars. Welcome to Smart Island.

You've passed your test. Gina Davis will show you where to get your robe. I feel like everything I learned about Gina Davis, I can't get enough. I love every new piece of information I get at her. She's super intelligent. Wait, is there an area on Smart Island for archery? There is, yeah. With Gina?

Yeah, well, there wasn't before she wasn't there. Before there was just an area for all the smart owls to shit. Owls are really smart. They're all wearing their little graduate caps. They still drop all those pellets, though. Full of mouse bones. You remember when you had to, did you ever have to dissect one of those in, like, anatomy in school?

Yes. Kind of nasty, right? It's pretty nasty. Touching poop? That wasn't a mouth, an owl's fucking mouth. Yeah. Yuck. As far as I can say, yuck.

One of my favorite of other people's jokes was an old Kevin Neeland joke where he said he and his son went hiking and his son was in Boy Scouts and they found some deer. skat and they knew that if they dissected it they could find out what the deer eats and it turns out a deer eat leaves berries but mostly shit it's great joke great joke Kevin Eland funny guy really funny guy uh Christian when someone when something momentous happens to our listeners we ask them to record a voice memo and send it to us a JJ go at maximum fun.org or just give us a call at 206 984 for fun use their landline telephone.

Christian, what do we got? We have two calls. Okay, well, let's hear one and see how it goes. Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and Gus. I'm going to go with classic X-Men writer Chris Claremont. Close. This is Andy from Brooklyn, she her pronouns, and I have a moment of the occasion for this in August

that we're experiencing right now, which is after, I guess we're probably about seven years after I first brought it up. My spouse and I finally looked at some strap-on-dil-dos on an adult e-commerce website, got overwhelmed and didn't bar one. But, hey, you know, baby steps or something. Adult steps. Hard as a rock.

Heart as a rock. Light as a river. Hopefully soon. Bye. Andy, you're doing great work out there. Congratulations. Well, I have... You have notes?

Yeah, not notes, but I'm just like... Do you have to use the e-commerce sites when there are local sex shops going out of business? So, Jordan, I'm so glad that you brought this up, because obviously, adult triple X, right? Just a few stores down, which has a variety of other names as well, is either out of business or possibly just renovations. Okay, yeah. Could just be renovating. It's either out of business or renovating. I mean, local sex shops are such an important part of the economy.

But I just want to say, what is the point of living in one of America's great urban centers or even living in one of America's hip college towns? Yeah. Having all of these friendly lesbians and not patronizing. their well-lit sex stores. Yes. I don't know if we know where our caller was calling from.

I mean, we can assume... Maybe Fun Island? Fun Island. I mean, sounds like it. Honestly. It sounds like she's swimming out there anyway. Yeah.

She's headed for the beach. She's headed out to Fun Island. Yeah. Yeah. I just want to say, like, I think most of our listeners live within driving distance of a well-lit sex shop

owned by friendly and helpful lesbians. Yes. And these lesbians are going to be 7,000 times more helpful when you're trying not to get overwhelmed by strap on dildos than any fucking clawed AI website. Thank you. Thank you. We're just a banana guy's telling you what dildo to buy. He's not even talking about being a banana? He's just like trying to get you to buy this damn thing.

I don't know. This banana guy has a certain appeal. Jesse? Fuck yes. Hell yes. We made it. Welcome to the dark side. I'm friends with appetite. Yeah.

Oh, man. Let's take one more call. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and guest? I'm going to guess Ozzy's Boneyard host Shannon Guns. This is James in San Antonio. I'm calling for your famous segment. Serious XM hosts that sound like they've given up. Like Jordan, I bought a car recently that came with the free trial.

I think I'm going to extend it another three months. I was listening to Willie's Roadhouse while walking the dog one morning, and the DJ came on after a song and said, I don't know what's happening. Somebody turned off all the lights in the studio. I think I'm still on the air. Anyway, here's the next one. Love y'all.

The DJ literally said who turned out the lights. Radio DJs like that, because there's a lot of celebrity sort of like radio DJs. It used to be more of a more rarefied air, right? Before, you know, you needed to fill out a roster of thousands of channels, right? There was a time when America's radio stations were filled with like Wolfman Jack style, high-skill, high personality performers who knew how to rhyme their way directly into that post and stopped talking just as the lyrics came in on. a fog hats. Yeah, yeah. And now it's like people like I feel like Rick Springfield had

a radio station for a while. He's horrible at it. He's so bad at it. On Sirius XM, which I am now totally obsessed with. Yeah. Yeah. There are a bunch of like, there are some really good DJs on it, but you do have a lot of Rick Springfield where someone's like, wouldn't it be fun

if we gave this person a radio show? And it turns out it's not fun. They just kind of like shrug and just kind of like, yeah, this song's fine I guess I like it here you go and it's just like I don't know I miss there being like excited people on the radio wanting to share

like I because I grew up in Southern California so I was listening to K Rock like my whole life and just like I feel like I learned so many cool things from Cat Corbett sure I learned so much cool stuff Richard Blade or striker like any of these guys like uh uh Rodney on the Rock late at night like any of the Redney on the Rock is on Sirius XM now He's on, oh gosh, he's on Little Stevens Underground Garage. Jonesy?

From Jonesy's Jukebox? Is Jonesy's jukebox? Is he, is Jonesy somewhere? I mean, I hope Jonesy's still with us. Where's Chewy Gomez? And also, maybe Matt, Southern California. Did you ever listen to Shotgun Tom Kelly on K Earth 101? K Earth 101.

Los Angeles. Yes. He's also on, he's on 60s on 6. So it's good to hear. Shotgun Kelly, the murderer. I just assumed it was the quarterback, but no. Anyway, so you do some of those guys, those, you know, those high-skill guys are still out there. But yes, you do have a lot of Rick Springfields, and on Ozzy's Boneyard, you definitely have a lot of, like, maybe this guy played bass in Rat for an album and now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For a while, 50 Cent had a channel. Oh. I think it eventually became the Eminem channel. Oh, yes. But when 50 Cent had a G-unit radio channel, it would just be like Tony Yeo's cousin. Great. Just be a level of fucking messy that I don't even, and this is now 20 years ago, I guess, was when I had satellite radio.

But a level of messy that I can't even begin to describe that was ultimately, I think, highlighted by the time that I listened to an entire interview by. Tony Yeo and some other G-Unit guys of Dan Aykroyd. Wow. At the House of Blues. They were all live together at the House of Blues. To be a fly on that wall. On the wall of my 82L Camino as I drove from Santa Cruz to San Francisco and listened to satellite radio. I don't want to be anywhere near the radio station.

I got to be in the car. You want to take a little break? We'll be back. There you go. Yeah, I'm going to see what Bunny Whaler has to say for himself. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse. La La La La La. What's more action-packed than prestige television?

With more continuity than comic books? And more reality than reality television? It's professional wrestling. And to better understand wrestling, the ultimate form of entertainment, you need the Tights and Fights Podcast. This is the perfect wrestling show with a lot of love, a lack of toxic masculinity, and just the right

amount of butts, cats, and spandex. Listen to Tights and Fights every Saturday on Maximum Fun. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio, sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Man Upadaka. Oh, yeah. yeah.

Don't you mean, oh yeah, oh yeah. Damn, I'm looking good. They got to have the Kool-Aid man in Fortnite, right? Oh, do they have the cool? Because everybody's hitboxes have to,

the thing that you probably don't know about Fortnite, Jaze's, is that every character regardless of their actual size has to be the same size, so when you're shooting at them, it's fair. So it's got to be balanced. It has to be balanced. So like Peter Griffin, they make Peter Griffin

buff so that his hitbox is the same as, like, Ariana Grande as the same as John Wick is the same as Homer Simpson. Sure. They'll do Stewie on like a robot so that he's not little and it has a, you know, there's no disadvantage. Everybody's the same size. These are all just skins. They're all just skins.

But I think, we've been talking about this on my show, they should get rid of that. I think it should be a little fun to see a little Stewie running around or full size. Sonic's in the game right now. Yeah. Sonic, and Sonic is long, tall. It's a tall Sonic? Tall Sonic. Are people horny for that?

They should have just kept Sonic the same height and made him pregnant. Well, they should have just made him pregnant. Yeah, yeah. Talk about a hit box. Yeah, they made him tall. And we all agree that that doesn't look 100% right. It doesn't look too wrong. Yeah, but it is unsettling.

It's a little unfortunate, I think. Can I just say, I'm tall? Yeah, and that's fine. I'm six foot four inches tall. Yeah. But I'm slow. So leave something for me, Sonic. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like Sonic is so fucking fast already. He's got to be tall, too. Right. How do you feel about chili dogs? I mean, I eat him at standard speed. Yeah. And this is the thing, he's eating them really fast. He's eating him really fast.

It's like you're just never going to be able to compete with him in anything. You're right. He's got to leave you something. Listen, none of us are as good as Sonic. No. Do you like him, though? I've had sex with a lady hedgehog. Sure.

Okay. and I can only Well, I don't know that Sonic has Sonia's got you beat there He's kissed a human woman before Yes He has kissed a human woman

See, that's what I thought would happen when I went to arts high school Just a lady hedgehog All you had to do is be a blue hedgehog That goes fast and eats chilly dogs That's all you had to do Well, Matt, I know, I don't think we need to tell our listeners

to check out your hit podcast get played Oh, please. But I think our listeners will probably check out your hit podcast got played, especially since they got a little taste of the kind of Duke Nukem humor that you love to bring to the table. Talking about Sonic kissing,

Macing on chicks, we're talking about that. It's all that kind of good stuff. You know, Jordan's been on the show, a lot. Love it. Such a fun guest spot. Did you know that the song Return of the Mac is about Sonic Bayesian? It's about his further dalliances with human women.

Yes, yeah, yeah. And you know what? I love that. Do you know what song? He puts on Lay Your Head on My Pillow by Tony, Tony, Tony, when he's getting ready to back a human woman. That's a hot song. He has a remix that goes,

Lay your head on my pillow, Human Woman. I'm a hair talk. And I'm blue. Tony, Tony, Tony, and song. I don't know. Get Sonic in there. Why not?

Get Sonic on the remix. Let's do this. Okay. Anyway, man is one of the hosts of Get Played. Yes. All the hosts have been on the show. Nick Weiger, Heather Ann Campbell, three of the funniest people in the world. And very bright and insightful as well.

You got it. And yeah, I think no matter what level of gamer you are. Yes. From a Tetris fiend to an asteroid's nut. You're going to find something to love on Get Played. I'm a centipede foamer. Oh, Jesse. You're going to love this show.

Thanks for having me, guys. I always have so much fun when I cover it. This is a true treat to be chopping it up with two of the Titans of Podcasting. Two real fun guys. That's right. That's right. Absolutely. And Christian.

And Christian's here, too, and he's great. Not to mention sweetening the deal over here. Get Christians over here. Hell yeah. Chris and Chris of Chris. He's doing a great job producing the show. We're all wearing shorts. That's fun.

That is fun. Because guess what? It is hotter than hell outside. It's warm, to say the least. You know that feeling when you're like... It's like, Sonic, yes, Sonic, he runs pretty quick. When you're like... It's a little hot outside.

When you're like, fuck me, when is it going to get cooler and you take out your 10-day forecast and it's all hotter? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went on a walk this morning with my wife. We're like, let's get out there early. That's your first mistake. Well, yeah, it's right. I was like, I'm trying to sleep all day.

I don't even want to wake up today. I know it's going to be too hot. He doesn't want to go take a walk by himself. He doesn't know what his wife's going to do with his Gundams while he's gone. I did want to say. Yeah. Thank you. You have something to say about Gundams.

I'm not too familiar with Gundams. I've seen some of the, I've seen some of it, but not, I wouldn't come to be a lot of it. There's a lot of it. Heather Am Campbell, that's your Gundam guy. That's my Gundam guy. She convinced me to buy a kit and make it. And it's like the thing that I, I think everybody should do it.

I think it is like the, like I spent four hours making a Gundam one day, and it was the most at-piece I had felt in years. I was so happy doing it because it was just like so, like, just so intentional and the instructions are so clear, and you're just kind of just like doing it. And then you're making this little, and mine was one of the easy ones, so it probably shouldn't have even taken me that long. But I really took my time doing it, and I think everybody could get something out of it. That's what my wife has told me about making Warhammer 40K guys. She's made a few with Frankie, my nine-year-old. And she's like, you know what? I thought it was kind of fun.

It's a flow state. It's really cool. And then I think especially in the Warhammer community, that seems like a really welcoming community. The fact that then there are nice folks trying to help you is the easiest way to get into anything. I feel like the older you get, the harder it is to get into a flow state, especially you start having prostate. Okay. Christian Dwayne is. in the bathroom every well.

You don't need to hear that. I can't piss. He's Genduanians. Wow. I mean, look, Duke Newcomb's getting older. Yeah, Duke's. Duke's not as young as he once was. The nurse has been stealing by pills.

I gave all my money to a guy on the phone. They said my nephew was in jail and I had to send them Google Play cards I got from 7-Eleven. It's sad. It's sad. Don't scam the elderly. Or the beekeeper is going to get you. Yeah, that guy's going to fuck you up.

You can't believe how bad that guy. Christian Dwayne, yes, is the producer of our program. Our theme music is Love You by the Free Design, courtesy of the free design and light in the attic records. And join us on social media. And you know what else? Can I just say, maxfundstore.com. Maxfundstore.com. That's where you get your stankist there at merchandise.

We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.