Jordan, Jesse, GO! - All The Main Fish with Judy Greer

Episode Date: September 22, 2022

Judy Greer joins Jordan and Jesse to talk what's up the fake stairs on a sitcom set, Jesse getting made fun of by Neil deGrasse Tyson and a Matthew McConaughey memoir quiz.Check out Judy's new show Reboot on Hulu now!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Well, don't you look pretty, Jordan? No. You're a pretty little angel. No.

You are a pretty little angel. Everybody knows that you're a pretty little... Look, you're such a pretty little angel, you're a regular Christopher Lloyd. Did he play an angel? Yeah, in Angels in the Outfield. In the Outfield! Yeah. Well, I'm not in the Outfield. Yeah.

I play shortstop. You are a pretty little angel. Thank you. It's nice to see you in real life. We're here in the same room. A special occasion. We had a special guest, and we're like, we're not going to relegate. We're not going to relegate this amazing guest to Zoom like some chump, like some Chris Fairbanks.

And then when the guest canceled, we kind of, we just stuck with it. Yeah. You know, we just. We'd already booked the studio. We already got Kevin come in and everything to help out. Yeah, it's a real room. Might as well. Yeah.

I mean, not all. Look. We already made the plans. I already got the babysitter just because Richard Kind isn't here. Doesn't mean we shouldn't do it. Sure. You know what I mean? But he could show up at any moment.

That's true. Much like Beetlejuice or the Candyman. He really is. Don't say his name two more times. Or two. God, what a dream it would be to be in a room that richard kind wandered into oh man just he just wandered in hey guys nice to see you richard have a sandwich don't mind if i do is what he would say should we just introduce the guest

and start podcasting oh our guest is a beloved i'm ready i'm I'm champing or chomping. I forget which one it is. A beloved guest on our program and a beloved actor for all of America. And you know what? Points beyond. I'll tell you this right now, Jordan. My therapist was delighted to hear that she's just as great in real life as she is on screen. Listen, your process is your process. Are you making the most of your time with your therapist? No.

You don't just try and amuse and impress your therapist the whole time. I try and be dry and unfunny. Okay. It's an exercise. Our guest on the program is a star of numerous films and television programs. She single-handedly for a time carried the Jurassic Park franchise. She's second on the call sheet on the television show Archer, after only me. She is one of the stars of a hilarious new television program called Reboot.

Our pal, Judy Greer. Hi, Judy. Hi. What a joy to see you, Judy. Wait, I want to say that again. Hi. Sure. Can we get three more highs?

Can we get three options? I felt like I limped in there. You know what? Let's get one that's just for you. Hi. Yeah, there we go. Hi. Kevin, use the first one.

Judy, I wanted to open up the discussion hole to the topic of, let's all open up our discussion holes. Guys. Here's your spade, Judy. Get the forceps. Daddy's gaping the old discussion hole. God. What a nightmare. To the topic of memoirs.

Yeah. I've been enjoying of memoirs. Yeah. I've been enjoying a memoir recently. Yes. Called I Don't Know What You Know Me From by Judi Greyer. Is that how you pronounce it? I've never heard the word out loud. I've only seen it written. No, I'm really enjoying your memoir.

Oh my gosh. Thank you. It's really great. Thank you. There's something that I just needed to ask you about before we, you know, keep going down the hole. Okay. The discussion hole. You give a very beautiful description of your hometown of Detroit, a place I've always wanted to visit.

Yes. And you say that, you know, it has a beautiful museums, a great music scene, and a zoo that has, and these are your words, all the main animals. and a zoo that has, and these are your words, all the main animals? I laughed at that for 45 minutes. I fell down some stairs. It does have all the main animals. I would just like to know, in your mind,

what are all the main animals? Like a tiger and a lion and a chimp and zebra. I don't remember if it had a giraffe. It definitely had a peacock. Oh, Judy, bad news. Bad news, not just for you, but for the city of Detroit. Is the zoo gone? Giraffes are a main animal and peacocks are not. Peacocks just should be wandering around botanical gardens.

I got a list of the main animals once and I thought I saw a peacock on there. It might be a main animal in Detroit. Detroit Public Schools is passing out that list and that's your problem now. I definitely went to public school. To me, the only main animal is the lion. The male lion. Thank you, Jordan. Here's to you, friend. Thanks. Nice to be in person. Anyway, I've got to go and find a new career. Sure. What is it like putting all of your like personal stuff down like that? It wasn't as great as I thought it would be when I said I would write this book.

And then I think it probably is a memoir, but that made me really uncomfortable when I kept talking about it. I was like, no, it's a collection of essays, but it's all about me. So I guess it's a memoir. But I was like at the time, I think I was like maybe 40, maybe not even. I don't remember. But I was like, guys, this is not my memoir. Like I'm halfway through my life, hopefully. But also I had two, I still have two stepkids.

So like, you know, I thought they might read it. I'm not convinced they have, but, um, but there was like, um, you know, I felt a little bit more like edity, especially at the time, like they were both living with us and they were in school. And like, sometimes I felt like I had to be a little bit, maybe more maybe more careful than maybe I would have. Which was a bigger concern, would you say? That they would read your memoir and learn something embarrassing, outre, you know, outrageous, something they could use against you, something like that. Okay, that. Or?

Or that they would not read your memoir because they don't care. Yes. The biggest concern was that I would write something that would embarrass them. What actually happened is I don't think either of them have read my memoir. And I think that, you know, I don't know. I wonder, I should ask them about it once. I know that they both have a copy. Can you let them know that Jordan and I have both read your memoir? A lot of people have read my memoir.

We've never even been to your house. Like, we don't just not live in your house. No. Well, it's just, it was like definitely a timing thing too because they were i think in high school and maybe middle school so those are just really selfish times for kids i'll give them a pass yeah also maybe it was weird to have a stepmom who was an actor i don't know they were only reading memoirs of like fallout boy hip reference and then pete wentz came up with the riff that would define a generation. Pete Wentz, like the Laurie Metcalf talking about Pete Wentz on Hacks.

Did you watch Hacks? Yes. Laurie Metcalf on Hacks is just, I mean, somebody said to me, like, there's not enough Laurie Metcalf on Hacks. And I think that that is a reasonable thing to say. But at the same time, there's a part of me that feels like asking for more would be disgusting.

Like to not be satisfied with the perfect Metcalf moments that I received in watching that of just her grumping and wearing a flannel shirt. I mean, it was incredible. I haven't seen it. What's the Pete Wentz thing? Well, it's just like that she is the tour bus driver for Jean Smart's character,

but she like drops Pete Wentz's name several times in the episode because she drove the tour bus for Fallout Boy. And Pete Wentz gave her a nickname that she introduced herself as. And she just kind of was always like throwing his name around. And it was just so funny. And are you going to ever watch it? Not to put you on the spot. Here's my journey with hacks. I watched a couple eps.

And I'm like, this is great. Everyone in this is awesome. Yes. I mean, Jean Smart, what a treasure. A gift. Firing on all cylinders. Jesse, maybe I think I don't know if this is on the show, but you talked about the fact that it's a show about stand up or the stand up a not comic, not a comic turned actor, a non-comic does stand up on that show. That seems like it's actually stand up. And so I watched a couple, I really enjoyed it. And then thought to myself, I will put this aside.

I don't know if I can watch a show right now where the premise is. It's hard to get a comedy writing job. Yeah, that's fair. It's, uh, you know, it just wasn't hitting the way they intended.

And we'll see how this year goes. And I got a lot of irons in the fire. I'm developing so excited. A lot of meetings and just there's some stuff coming out and I can't talk about it yet. So, yeah, this is why I have not watched Hacks. I have heard all of the shouting about Hacks. I believe it. Yeah.

I will watch Hacks at a later hacks. I believe it. Yeah. I will watch hacks at a later date. Thank you. Totally fair. I feel like the Laurie Metcalf episode could stand alone. Okay. Maybe I'll just watch the Metcalf app. Do you think there might be a Metcalf mega cut? Oh, see, what's fun is you go on YouTube.

Do people do that? Well, they've done it with Steve Harvey's funniest reactions on Family Feud. I have something important to say about Steve Harvey. I'm glad you brought it up. Okay, so I was watching, look, this is a lifestyle thing. I know that you guys are busy. You don't have the time to sort of luxuriate the way that I do. But I was watching Celebrity Family Feud.

I love Celebrity Family Feud. I love Celebrity Family Feud. And the celebrities were not the celebrity-ist. Sure. They run the gamut. But they were- Blank Apache's on one. Really? Yeah.

He's on Drew Carey's team. Ah, what a dream. So one of the celebrities was Jay Pharoah. Jay Pharoah's parents were a lot of fun. Oh, yeah. i think i saw this one his cousin did a very bad job and then the other celebrity was reese darby from oh yeah i totally saw this one yeah so what you reese darby folks probably know from flight of the concords or from our flag means death a very delightful new ze comedian. And I would say Steve Harvey did a four-minute bit

where he did like a little Lord Fauntleroy voice, which he was bad at. He was not good at doing an English accent. He was clearly trying to do an English accent. And I was thinking, is Steve Harvey doing a meta joke? And I was like, no, he just doesn't. Rhys Darby is just making a Rhys Darby face, which is a sort of broad smile and slightly uncomprehending stare. And that is his comic signature, something he's great at. And you can just see him. He's also thinking like, I'm maybe not that familiar with Steve Harvey being from New Zealand.

Like, is this man making fun of me, accusing me of being English? What's going on here? And there's a real moment of like, who's being mean to who? to guess maybe was of Indian heritage that is of India and Steve Harvey ended the bit by just going up to him and saying hey man you're the and did a back and forth wave you're the closest thing what did he say

and that bit was so good all the good bits what did he say? And that bit was so good. All the good bits. I forgave him for not understanding the difference between England and New Zealand. Completely. 100%. That I will look for on YouTube. Yeah. What's great about Steve Harvey, I mean, I know you're a nut, but like, you're a nut

for Steve Harvey, that is. Yeah. But like, what's great about Steve Harvey is he really captures the headlong energy of hosting a television show where you tape 12 of them every day. Right. Like the I'm just saying things who cares what happens.

It is both manic and exhausted. Yes. He probably shoots a whole season in a week. Yeah. You're probably right. We did. I did. What was the one that Alec Baldwin hosted?

Oh, didn't he do- Like a remake of a TV- Yeah, $10,000 Pyramid or something like that. Something like that. Yeah. I did that one. And we shot, they did like four episodes a day. Wow.

He shot the whole season in a week. How did you do? Well, they give you a lot of alcohol on that one. What? They got us so drunk wow it was crazy and i had to be there really early in the morning because i did the first two episodes and neil degrasse tyson was in my first episode and he was drinking red wine at eight in the morning it was so impressive i had irish coffee but i think i did pretty good a little more

appropriate i felt yeah i felt neil degrasse tyson's like excuse me i have to tweet why I had Irish coffee, but I think I did pretty good. A little more appropriate. I felt. Yeah. I felt. Neil deGrasse Tyson's like, excuse me, I have to tweet why Interstellar couldn't happen. No. I'm really strongly anti-Neil deGrasse Tyson. Really?

Yeah. Well, I mean, he maybe- Yes, he doesn't believe space exists. Yeah. But we're all stars. He's what we call a no spacer. Oh, a no spacer. Yes, that's right. How could stars like us exist?

Were there no space? But we're all stars. We're all made of stars. I think maybe there were some accusations that he had been like sexually harassing people. Oh, that I remember. But I have to say that the reason I don't like him is because before that was public knowledge, we had him on bullseye. Not because of that. Because before that was public knowledge, we had him on bullseye. And I asked him if he was ever unsettled or scared by the infiniteness of space.

And he said no or something. And I was like, oh, because sometimes when I think about it, like it kind of. And then he just made fun of me. Like he just picked on me. He pantsed you. I have a term for that. What's that? My friend Molly and I call it having the space weirds.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like if you sit and you really, really, really let yourself go there, it's the space weirds. I get ocean weirds. Oh, Jordan. Really? Yeah. You don't have to explain this to me.

Looking out at the sea really distresses me. What kind of treacherous down there? Angler fish? It's supposed to be all the main fish. All the main fish. Sounds like a book my mom would recommend to me. She's like, you need to read all the main fish. The new Joel Osteen book.

All the main fish, all the main loaves. Right. Back to the topic of memoir. Yes. Judy, I would say that your memoir is the best I've read this year. Second best. Wow. Matthew McConaughey's Green Lights.

Okay. Is it many green lights or just one? I think it is plural. Green Lights. It's about, it's a complicated metaphor. Wait, let me guess. Let's see if you can unpack it. Hold on. Hold on. Wait, let me guess. See if you can unpack it. Hold on.

Hold on. No, you go ahead. It's about all the movie pitches that he's put over the top by attaching his name. Oh, my God. No, listen, Jesse, it's about those times in your life where the universe tells you, go. Go. Go. Just go.

I don't know what's out there. It never occurred to me that it was greenlighting a project ever, ever, ever until this minute. I always was like, oh, it's got to be about. It is. He never attack. He never likens it to the filmmaking process. I would imagine if you're Matthew McConaughey. The filmmaking process is a sort of transparent one because you just kind of wander in Matthew McConaughey a little, everybody says thank you.

And then they approve the movie. And McConaughey is very open about that. And, and I think your, your book and his book share something that I really liked and it doesn't do that memoir thing where, where the person doesn't make a sweaty attempt to make themselves seem like an outsider or that they've had it tough. Like, you're both honest about the struggles you've had, but there's no, like, work done to kind of artificially, you know, put themselves in an underprivileged position that they weren't in. McConaughey is—

Everybody knows McConaughey and Greer haven't made in the shade. No, I don't think that's what they're saying. They're not saying, like, I've had it great. They're gorgeous. They're charismatic. But McConaughey is like, you know, hey, I've always been good-looking.

I've always been popular. I won some contest called, like, Texas's Best Boy when he was nine. He's, like, the best boy in Texas. I don't know what. The best boy? He's an electrician? He's an electrician.

That is some Hollywood humor. And my kids, where they went to middle school and maybe even high school, I think it was maybe high school. In their yearbook, there was, you know, like best actor, best hair, best smile. But there was a category of best all around. Best all around. That one lucky man and one lucky young woman, they would get best all around. Like I was voted best all around.

Like that's like Matthew McConaughey winning best boy in Texas. Best boy. Texas's best boy. Oh my God. I can't wait till I ever see but you've you've worked with him you yes you have positive McConaughey feelings so positive I have two magical stories about him I mean working with him was super fun he was awesome on set he was all the things you wanted him to be. He was like, like drinking like fresh yerba mate out of like the silver thing with the straw and being like, hey, like shows up in

pajama bottoms and Uggs. I mean, this is like a long time ago, by the way. So I haven't seen him in years and years, but this was like way back. He's probably still wearing the pajama pants, right? We did this table read at the Roosevelt Hotel for the movie. It's called The Wedding Planner. We did a table read and I valeted my car. I was a child and I didn't have enough money to get my car out of the valet because I didn't know to ask to have it validated and yada yada. because I didn't know to ask to have it validated and yada yada. So I was really embarrassed and I went to the ATM to take out cash to get my car out of the valet and I didn't even have enough money in my bank account. This is like an early role for you, right?

Like this is one of your first... I didn't even have enough money in my bank account to take it. I was like, I guess I'll surrender my car to the Roosevelt Hotel. Can I work it off? Can I pay towels by the pool? They throw you a hairnet and a sponge. They just make me like valet for an hour to work off the... So I go, of course, also pre-cell phone.

I have to find a pay phone. I call my friend Sean Gunn. He's an actor, an old friend of mine. So I call Sean Gunn and I'm like, dude, I need you to fucking sober up wherever you are. And like, you got to come and get me out of the Roosevelt Hotel. I can't get my car out. I don't have any money. Okay. This does tie back to Matthew McConaughey because his like driver overheard me on the phone and like gave me $20 so I could get my car out. And so then I was like, I will pay you back. I swear to God, I will pay you back.

And so, so at work that like first day I like had $20 to give to Matthew. And he was like, he's like, please, like you're not giving me $20. And then my second sweet story. He's like, I am very rich. I have as much yerba mate as I want out of the special yerba mate cup. They gave me $5 million when I won Texas's best boy. I'm the best boy in Texas. My entire life is roller skating downhill.

I also am pretty convinced you probably thought I was so poor because when we wrapped the movie one night, there used to be at the Chateau Marmont, like a little side bar called Bar Marmont. And it was really pretty. They had like butterflies everywhere. Anyway, fake butterflies. But I was in there having drinks one night with a girlfriend of mine and Matthew walked in and he was at the far end of the bar and he was there with friends and we waved at each other and then he like paid our whole tab.

Come on. Which also unrelated was the day I begged my friend to go have a drink with me. I really felt like going out. I had a wild hair and she had like her test for Mensa the next morning or something. And she was like, I can't be hung over for my Mensa test.

I can't because I'm like, I have my Mensa test. And I was like, yeah, but like, you're smart. Like you're going to get into Mensa or not. Like, like, like, I don't think it'll matter if you've had a drink with me. And I fully talked her into going. We had many drinks paid for by one Mr. Matthew McConaughey. And she did not get into Mensa. Wow.

Do you only get the one chance? Well, she told me you can only take the test like one time. Wow. So that's McConaughey's fault. McConaughey's fault that my old friend didn't get into Mensa. I'm writing a letter to Matthew McConaughey about this. Is that in the book? If he wants to be my governor, he's going to have to.

So it is not in the book, but something that is that I wanted to talk about is that he has these little chunks outside the narrative where McConaughey. Like David Foster Wallace? Kind of. Like favorite cookie recipe? No. Like list of 10 movies to watch if you're like home alone? No, these are great. Geez, I would love all of this.

Yeah. Home alone, not on the list. What to pack for a long weekend. I just got home alone. Judy, do you think that you could become Matthew McConaughey's literary agent? We love the first draft. We love the first draft. So these are like supposed to be

like bumper stickers or t-shirt slogans or like nuggets to live your life by. And I listened to this on audiobook. And McConaughey delivers these with such enthusiasm and with such enthusiasm and with such an earnest laugh at the end like he just fucking thought of it for a second

you forget that they don't make any sense at all and i i'll i love the book i had such a fun time with it and these things are a big part of it because they're so earnest. And I could tell he believes them, but I just don't know what some of them mean. So what I wanted to do is I wanted to present a quiz. Okay. I'm going to give you three quotes. One of them is from Matthew McConaughey's book.

You get a point if you guess which one it is. And then you get a point if you can explain what he was trying to say. Jesse? Yeah. You'll go first. Which of these quotes is from Matthew McConaughey's book? Like jazz, I prefer to see life as a river. When the ball's in your court, ask the coach where he got his whistle.

I've never been invited to a monster mash, but if I was, you'd better believe I'd ask that fish man if I could dump a beer into those neck holes. Okay, so... I'm going to talk this through real quick. Yeah, talk it out. Yeah, I think the monster mash thing, obviously monster mash season is right over the horizon,

whereas this book is designed to be evergreen. He wouldn't want to date it, so I'm going to... I mean, he would want to date the fish man if he had the chance, but not real. So, yeah, his interest in Shape of Watering a Fish Man aside, I think that one's not real. What was that second one again? When the ball's in your court, ask the coach where he got his whistle. Okay.

So that's the second one. I thought the first two were one whole one. Ah, no. So the first, I'll be happy to clarify. Like a Monster Mash coach? I thought that was a long analogy ending with the whistle. Okay. No.

Okay. First one is, like jazz, I prefer to see life as a river. Okay. Like jazz, I prefer to see life as a river. Okay. So I'm going to say that the real one is when the ball's in your court, ask the coach where he got his whistle because, and I'll tell you why this is. Yeah. Just so you know, Judy. to make a move.

Like when the light is green in front of you, when the ball is in your court, you can't let an authority figure try and control your life, right? Like when you see your opportunity, you have to say to that coach, like, why do you think that you can tell me what to do when I've got the ball and I'm about to shoot a slam dunk.

I'm sorry, Jesse. The real quote is, like jazz, I prefer to see life as a river. Well, that makes sense, too. I mean, what is Pharaoh Sanders if not a whitewater enthusiast? Oh, yes. Sorry, Jesse. No points for you. Judy, this one's for you.

Oh, boy. Okay. The outlaw don't live on the edges he lives in the center cruising through the slipstream that one sorry i'll read the other down on pap's farm all you needed was a horse a rope and the wisdom to know the difference that one's my favorite one you'll never see a cowboy eat and no one knows why. My theory is that those fuckers have photosynthesis and they're just not telling anyone. You still want to go with the first one?

I do. You're right. You're absolutely right. The answer is the outlaw don't live on the edges. He lives in the center cruising through the slipstream. Any theories as to what he was talking about? I just can hear his voice saying that. The outlaw don't live in the center. He cruises. The outlaw don't live in the center.

He cruises. No, he don't live on the edges. He does live in the center. That's where the damn slipstream is, Judy. Little Judy Goodshoes. I don't know. He doesn't know anything about outlaws like us, Jordan. Outlaws don't live in the center.

Like, they're not afraid of anything. They live in the center. Like, they're not afraid of anything. If you, if you, if you want to get something, you better go and get it. And not, and like make a commitment and be passionate. And don't, as my, I think dad said this, don't pussyfoot around. Get it. Get it. Take it.

Plan that wedding. Two points for Judy. Two points for Judy. Jesse, this one's for you. Life is not a popularity contest. Be brave. Take the hill. But first answer the question, what is my hill?

Wow. If you take the word impossible and put an apostrophe in it, you get I'm impossible. I think Judy just had an orgasm thinking about the possibilities of her life. It's apostrophes that get me really excited. Third answer. I'm the same with semicolons. I'll never forgive Tim Allen for making the Santa Claus. To suggest that you could kill Santa by pushing him off a roof is ludicrous.

I know that the only way to kill the Christmas beast is by separating the head from the body and burying it behind my shed. Right. Well, I mean, the third one. Fun. It is fun. The third one feels. It is fun. Like, I understand why you would suggest that McConaughey would say that. It feels more Clooney-ish to me.

Right. Talking super hunks. What are the first two again? Life is not a popularity contest. Be brave. Take the hill. But first answer the question, what is my hill? I mean, that would look good on a t-shirt.

What's the second one? If you take the word impossible and put an apostrophe in it, you get I'm possible. I'm going to say... Crazy enough to work. It's just crazy enough to work. I'm going to say that it is the second one, and I'll tell you why. Matthew McConaughey obviously seems impossible.

That's probably a big challenge in his life is it seems unbelievable that a man so handsome and charismatic could exist, that a man could seem to care so much and so little at the same time, that a man could just breeze into a room with a yerba mate and get all those films greenlit and so for him his great work in life other than the wedding planner is to just simply establish that he is real i'm sorry jesse no it was actually the first one my god the hill i would have bet my house it was the impossible. That's actually, fun fact, that was Pitbull. Pitbull said that. Thank you. Pitbull. Thank you.

Now, in the third one, that was DJ Khaled? That was DJ Khaled. Yeah. So we have one last question. We have a tiebreaker that could be a lot of fun. I think, Judy, you've already basically taken this home, so this is just for fun at this point. The next quote's, When you can design your own weather, blow in the breeze.

Sometimes the sock comes before the shoe. The first one was grew, I think. The Minions dad. Yeah. Sometimes the sock comes before the shoe. When I'm feeling sad, I curl up into a little ball and pretend I'm a banana. Bananas aren't balls, you say. Well, now who's being the asshole?

Yeah. Do you think that Matthew McConaughey would ever call us an asshole? In person, as a joke. Yeah. What's number two? Sometimes the sock comes before the shoe. I mean, doesn't it always? Well, if you're Matthew

McConaughey, you kind of do your own thing. I'm not even wearing a sock. Me neither. Judy's wearing fucking Dodgers Crocs. Dodgers Crocs. Let's go Dodgers. God damn it. What's the first one again? When you can design your own weather, blow in the breeze.

I think I might go with, I don't know why I did that. I'm sorry. That was really cool. I'm going to go with, I don't know why I did that. I'm sorry. It was really cool. Honestly, that's my favorite thing that's happened in the last three years on Jordan. Yes, you go.

Sorry. Fans, clip out the noise. Put a fat beat behind it. I just felt like a cow chewing in the, I want to go with number one. You're absolutely right. When you can design your own weather, blow in the breeze. God damn. You've already won, but if you want to take a crack at explaining it, you can. I mean, that one really doesn't make any sense.

That is completely unhinged. I think he's saying, like, let the universe guide you, man. Blow in the breeze. Oh, I see. Like, he designs his own weather? You know, these are all fun. The jazz one I particularly liked because it's really good. It's so ridiculous.

I will be listening to this book. In fact, I may download it on our break so that I can start it on my drive home. For bonus points, how long into the audio book do you think it is before he calls a drink a libation? Three minutes, 45 seconds. Jesse? I'm going eight minutes and 14 seconds. Guys, four hours, 15 minutes. He restrains himself from calling a drink a libation

and it's five hours, 20 minutes before he refers to someone he's dating as a lover. Can you believe that shit? The fucking restraint on Makana. He's out of control. But you know, that could have been his editor. Yeah, you're right.

I mean, not that I don't want to give it to him, but it could have been his editor. Speaking as his lit agent. As his new lit agent. Yeah. He's got some pitches. to give it to him. Yeah. But it could have been his editor. Speaking as his litter. As his new lit agent. Yeah. He's got some pitches. Got some pitches to offer. We guys want to download Matthew McConaughey's audio book and then come back for another segment?

Yeah, I'll be back in just a second. I'm Jordan Jessico. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, members of Maximum Fun. That's folks who've gone to MaximumFun.org slash join to support this show and all the Max Fun shows that they listen to with a few bucks a month. We're very grateful to all of you. Our salute to the fallen heroes, which is those Maximum Fun members who have died in the line of duty, like putting in their credit card information or whatever. It's perilous. Yeah. It can be perilous. Killed by an autofill. They're just killed by that part where like you put in your whole address and then it says, did you mean?

And it's because you didn't put in the plus four on your zip plus four. Right. Yeah. There wasn't a space after east or something. Yeah. Yeah. Our thanks this week also to Magic Spoon. Now, Magic Spoon, you've heard us talk about this product on

the program before. It is one of my faves. As you probably know, I like to eat it for breakfast. I like the peanut butter flavor. Jordan likes to eat it as a late night sweet treat. What's your favorite sweet treat? The cookies and cream, maple waffle? I mean, there's not a stinker in the Magic Spoon lineup. If you ask me, I just did a little blueberry this weekend. Had a real fun time with that. Cinnamon's great, cookies and cream, peanut butter, of course. There's so many awesome flavors. And speaking of, Magic Spoon just recently brought back two super popular flavors cookies and cream and maple waffle they're permanent when these flavors were first introduced for a limited time they sold out extremely quickly and we are letting you know that they're back for good

yeah i really like both cookies and cream and maple waffle super Super tasty. And hey, it's got zero grams of sugar, 140 calories, 13 to 14 grams of protein. That's great because you eat a bowl of cereal and you feel full, which is a nice feeling. That's incredible. I mean, that is like the amount of protein that's in like a protein shake. Like if you're out there in your bodybuilding, get yourself some magic spoon. And I know there's a lot of builders out there in the Jordan Jesse Go audience. I know that there's a lot of folks who are going for bulk. And you're going to need to add a lot of calories to this because there's not a ton of calories in Magic Spoon. But there's all that protein you need for after workouts.

I guess I'm only talking to Stuart Wellington. Yeah, get maple waffle jacked with Magic Spoon. Go to magicspoon. slash jj go to grab a custom bundle of cereal and try it today and be sure to use our promo code jj go at checkout to save five dollars off your order and magic spoon is so confident in their product it's backed with 100 happiness guarantee so if you don't like it for any reason, they'll refund your money. No questions asked. Remember, get your next delicious bowl of cereal at magicspoon.com slash JJGO and use the code JJGO to save $5 off. Thank you, Magic Spoon, for sponsoring this episode.

We're also supported this week by the folks over at Trade Coffee. Now, when it comes to coffee, everybody likes something different, okay? Everybody likes different notes. Everybody likes different roasts. Everybody likes different preparations. Jordan, you're one of the pod people. Yeah. So I use a pod. I just kind of make a cup of coffee in the morning. I'm not somebody who drinks the whole pot. So what I like to do is I like to buy myself some grounds. I like to fill my reusable pod, make my one cup in the morning. But yeah, some coffee just isn't for that. It's for a different amount. So what I like so much about Trade Coffee is you get in there, you take their

fun, fun, fun coffee quiz. I let them know I'm a pod brewer. If you're not, you let them know how you brew. Maybe you're a, I got the chemistry set type. Maybe you got a Mr. Coffee you're filling every morning. Let them know how you drink it and what you like. Do you like something sweeter? Do you like something bolder? Are you adding cream? Are you adding sugar? These are all questions you'll answer on the quiz, and they will send you a bag of coffee that will kick your ass with deliciousness. Yeah, my wife is a real coffee snob. She's a pour-over coffee preparer. We got the burr grinder. We got the ceramic pour over cup thingy filter deal. I don't know what it's called. Look, I'm not. It's a deal. It's some deal. She's got the deal. She's got her special

mug. She's got the little special water boiler that gets it to the right temperature. She puts it, burrs it up. She puts it in there. She pours the thing. And she loves her trade coffee too. In fact, there is now a Jordan Jesse Go collection. So if you want to check out Jordan's pod coffee or the fancy pour over coffee or whatever kind of roast or flavor profile you like, you can check out our collection of special stuff that their folks have helped us choose. So if you want to support small businesses and brew the best cup of coffee you've ever made at home, it's time to try Trade Coffee. Right now, Trade is offering our listeners a total

of $30 off your first order plus free shipping at drinktrade.com slash jjgo. That's drinktrade.com slash jjgo for $30 off your subscription to the best coffees in the country. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Judy Krieger, America's best friend.

God knows she's mine. America's lucky. America's lucky. We're lucky in this country. USA, I say. I mean, to some extent it speaks to the paucity of friends I see more than once every five years. But I would certainly say that you're my best friend. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Sorry, Jordan. We're colleagues. No, you're my best friend too. I need a ride to the airport, by the way. That's funny you should ask. I don't have a car.

Oh no. This fucking hotel kept it. I need a friend to walk with me to the airport because it's at night and I'm scared. It's scary out there. It is scary. I mean, LAX. Worse than any haunted house. Thanks, Jordan. You said it.

I mean, when you're talking about Spirit Airlines. Is that an airline? No, that's a Halloween store. No, Spirit Airlines. Spirit is a... Same company. Okay. And they have, yeah, Halloween Town.

Spirit was the one I would have to fly to the Midwest. Oh. Visit my Midwestern family. You know, one time I flew to, was it Detroit? Might have been Philadelphia. And I didn't know how to get there. And I have never felt more like a king than when I posted on social media, what is the best way to fly to such and such place? And our friend Rob Corddry DM'd me and he said, here's what you

do. You buy a ticket on, I'm going to say Braniff, but it wasn't Braniff, but it was a Braniff-like airplane brand that has since stopped flying. But truly like a TWA, a Braniff. It was one of these that was just barely still existed. Northwest. Yeah. He said, buy your ticket and then for 75 bucks you can upgrade to business class. bucks you can upgrade to business class and i have never felt more like a king than to have television and films rob corddry give me the secret to upgrading on a flight to either philadelphia or detroit i don't remember which the worst part about flying on spirit airlines

is when you're you're seated next to one of those 12 foot skeletons and they're man spreading. Those fucking skeletons. Boy, those 12 foot skeletons. Yeah. Hey, phone calls. We get them sometimes, right? Yeah. Well, Judy, you probably already know this about us because we're your best friends. Obviously.

On our show, a lot of people think that it's just a bunch of bullshit that we didn't even prepare for. And we're lucky that anyone listens. But the honest truth is that we work really hard and have a lot of great ideas one of the things is that we do a lot of our own segments that have their own premises and it's not just people calling in with something they wanted to tell us about and then pretending it's a segment on our show okay that's what um it's different ideas that we have that our audience recognizes and loves like Like this person. Hey, boys. It's Connor from Vancouver calling with another installment for your long-running segment,

Dumb Raps on Expensive Cars. If you remember my previous entry, it was Charizard on a McLaren. This time it's an all-over rap of that stupid fucking, like, corgi face print on, like, a Ferrari coming out of an artist's loft building. Have a good one. First of all, this guy's Ferrari coming out of an artist's loft building. Have a good one. First of all, this guy's energy is out of control. The vibes on this man calling us, they may exceed the volume of vibes of a corgi wrap on a Ferrari. Am I wrong? W-R-A-P wrap.

Am I wrong for not hating that? Is that good? I don't know. I literally don't know what he's talking about. I know what a Ferrari is. I know what an artist loft is. That's the one I didn't know. I know what a Corgi is.

A vinyl rap. Like when they put Kinko's logos all over a Scion XB. Oh, like, yeah. Like if they let you drive a car, but you have to, like, say you use Boost Mobile all over it. Yeah, exactly. Although, you know, you can also do it just to, you know, it's not just for that, but you can use it just instead of paint or whatever. Right. A lot of those cars that are matte black have a vinyl wrap rather than being repainted.

Oh. But, yeah, this one has a corgi. No, I feel like I would like it if it was a husky. That's a fun dog. So someone has put a corgi wrap on a McLaren? Yeah, that's what it sounds like. You know, I think I'll amend it and say that I like it if it's not about Bitcoin, which it might be. Yeah, it's probably about bitcoin corgi related to bitcoin it's again i'm listen i'm not the guy to talk to about this i like reg coin regular coins love i like wheat pennies sure uh oh those chocolate coins you get at hanukkah celebrations but yeah i think the corgi is kind of a meme. So I think they like to attach memes to Bitcoin and FT we turn to get on to the 110 North Freeway to Pasadena, of course, Jordan's town.

Jordan's the honorary mayor of Pasadena. Are you the best boy of Pasadena? Yes. I mean, the ballots are out. So if you're out there and you're listening. You have three months to vote. Yeah. That's right.

Then I get to own the breakfast burrito shop, Lucky Boy. Oh, wow. You get to own the breakfast burrito shop, Lucky Boy. Oh, wow. You get to own the Lucky Boy? Hopefully. But only at lunch, though. You have to buy the burgers. Right. Which are only okay.

No, they make those breakfast burritos all day. Oh, great. But I have one I like better now. It's at King's. Oh, well, I go to Beeps. Should we just list? Breakfast burrito places? Like weirdly old-timey drive-thru fast food restaurants in Pasadena.

Oh, yeah, Judy, you got one? Ooh, I still like McDonald's. Yeah. Sorry. As we were getting on the freeway, my wife yelled, Car Dog! Mm-hmm. And pointed.

That's that kind of campy old Sean Connery sci-fi movie, right? Yeah, Cardog. And I'm here, Cardog. I'm the Cardog now. He's dead, right? Yeah, he passed away. Rest in peace to apparently a shitty guy. We learned.

I'm with the Card dog in hell now. I love it here. Is that your New Zealand accent? Yeah. Yup. Yup. Yup. Yup.

Yup. Yup. That's your beat generation accent. Yup. Not car dog. She pointed just like a stunned, she had lost further words. Oh. And across the street, there was, I'm going to say a Toyota Avalon, a full-size sedan.

And there was a Husky laying prone across the roof of the car. It was the greatest, the single greatest thing I've ever seen in my life. And you know, Jordan, how strongly I feel about roof dogs, which are dogs that are on top of roofs of houses, typically. Oh my God, but all she could get out was car dogs. Car dogs. Because what more need be said? Wow. Where was it?

It was parked. It was parked. It was in a driveway. And the husky had somehow managed to get on top of the roof of the car and was laid out fully prone. Like a sphinx. Luxurious. Oh my god. Like a Sphinx. Luxurious. Oh my God.

Like a Sphinx atop a Toyota Avalon. You're so lucky. I know. I mean, this is what I say. Like a lot of people think that, you know, the luckiest people are, you know, are movie stars or whatever. People who need people. Yeah, really. I'm the one who's roller skating downhill.

I mean, seeing a car dog. There used to be a roof dog that lived in my neighborhood, but I think he's probably dead by now. Oh, he fell off that roof, didn't he? Oh, roof dog. Just old age, you know? Join me in hell, roof dog. I'm here. Yerp.

Kevin, we got another call in there. Jordan, Jesse hi I'm calling in for your long running segment weird banners seen at British roundabouts I was driving over a roundabout in England

and I saw a banner that said say no to cuck stye. Say no to cuck hyphen stye. S-T-Y-E. And I do. I don't think, I think cucks should be free roaming. I don't think we should put them in a sty. Love the show.

Love you guys. Thanks. Love you too. I'm going to go ahead and say Colin. Probably, right? Seems like four out of five, his name's Colin. Here's the thing. Here's my concern.

I mean, if you're getting cucked, you're not really in a position to say no to the sty. Right. Like, that's part of the thing. But, I mean, I think there's a certain amount of negotiation that goes on vis-a-vis cucking. So you want advance consent on styes to be part of the cuck thing. Right. It's like, you know, you're like, all right, honey, loving, loving partner. Yeah.

I'm a wee little limp dick baby and I need to go in my pen while you, you know. And the guy says, how do you like knowing that I'm filling your wife better than you ever will? Eat that slop. Sure. While you're out there in the sty. Yeah. So it could just be. Not an eye sty?

Oh, it might be. It could be. It could be. This could be like an. I'm just putting it out there. Yeah. I think it's worth putting out there. This could just be that someone needs a cream.

Sure. Right. Or. I mean, someone does need a cream here. There's no doubt about that. But someone may need an eye cream. Yeah. Okay. Someone may need a medical eye cream here.

Right. Right. And maybe there's a really bad one. Yeah. I mean, I personally love a free range cuck. Where they're just out there. Yeah. Well, the yolks are yellower.

Sure. Right. That's nice because of their are yellower. Sure, right. That's nice because of their diet. Running free. Almost orange. Right, yes. That's why you got to get those local cucks at your farmer's market. Local cucks.

I think globally, cuck locally. Similar to something I said on a previous episode. I want to change my nickname. Oh, sure. Local Cuck. Yeah, that's fine. Good enough. Why not?

Wah, says Local Cuck. I'm a baby boy. Get that sty away from me. Oh, my eye. Oh, my eye. Oh, does your eye hurt? Should we go to the eyewash station and then come back for more? Hello, it's me. I'm headed back

to New Zealand. That was that guy talking. Love that guy. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Oh my gosh, hi. I'm Dave Holmes, host of the pop culture trivia podcast, Troubled Waters. On Troubled Waters, we play games like motivational speeches.

It goes a little like this. Riley, give us an improvised motivational speech on why people should listen and subscribe to Troubled Waters. I look around this ad and I see a lot of potential to listen to comedians such as Jackie Johnson and Josh Gondelman. lot of potential to listen to comedians such as Jackie Johnson and Josh Gondelman, and they need you to get out there and listen to them attempt to figure out sound Reba's clues or determine if something is a Game of Thrones character or a city in Wales. I have chills. I'm going to give you 15 points. All that and so much more on Troubled Waters. Find it on MaximumFun.org or wherever you choose to listen to podcasts. Hey there, beautiful people. I'm Travelle Anderson.

And I'm Jared Hill. We are the hosts of Fanti, the show where we have complex and complicated conversations about the gray areas in our lives, the things that we really, really love sometimes but also have some problematic feelings about yes we get into it all you want to know our thoughts about Nicki Minaj and all her foolishness we got you you want to know our thoughts about gentrification and perhaps some positive question mark aspects of gentrification we get into that too every single Thursday you can check us out at MaximumFun.org. Listen, you know you want it, honey. So come on and get it. Period. It's Jordan, Jesse. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, play detective. And Judy Greer, America's best friend. OK, so, Judy, your show's called Reboot. Yes. The premise of the program is that it's a reboot of like a late 90s, early 2000s broad, multi-camera, full house-y kind of thing.

Yes. But it's a behind-the-scenes show about the people making that reboot. Yes. Your show's got, we're looking at Keegan-Michael Key, Paul Reiser, Jackass from the movie Jackass. We got Rachel Bloom.

Yeah. Past Jordan Jesse Go guest Rachel Bloom. Am I leaving people out? I feel like there's even more. Caleb Worthy. Oh my. This is,

it's obscene. The wattage. I know. The wattage in the program is obscene. I know. It sickens me. Thank you. I was actively angered. It's very funny and I think as

of the release of this program, it is now on your Hulu machine. We got to watch a few advanced apps and we laughed like a couple of dorks because it's so good. Now all we do, Jordan, our main thing now is loading up our Hulu apps that we got to see ahead of everyone else. Thanks, Hulu, Jordan, our main thing now is loading up our Hulu apps

that we got to see ahead of everyone else. Thanks, Hulu. You guys should be, are you, by any chance, Academy members? Yeah, I am because I wasn't until I won one and then they have to make you one. Dude. Sorry,

I won six. Dude! I can help you out with a SAG award or a WGA award. Also, my dad is cable ace. I'm in that too. I just like the app. The app on my TV. Do you get a television academy app that

shows you the shows? No, I'm talking about the Academy of Motion Pictures. Fucking Christ. That one. This is some Jurassic Park bullshit. There's an app now and you can put it on like, because every TV is so smart now and so then like all the movies are

just on it. So you don't have to get buckets of DVDs anymore. This is why people hate Coastal Elites. Yes. Greer's gonna be watching the Fablemans next week. Jesus Christ. Car Dog. I'm gonna see it before anyone else uh judy was the uh there's a really funny they like do flashbacks to the old show that they're oh my god and you got to shoot a fucking yeah like tgif friday Friday night sitcom intro. Yeah.

Was that the most fun ever? It was so fun. And it was, I think it might've been also our first day of work or something, but it was so fun and funny and doing anything like cheesy is always a good time. I have a serious show business question that one of the two of you might know. You worked on a regular sitcom for a minute when you first got to la you worked on living with fran on living with france my first pa job starring fran drescher it was her big comeback sitcom she was lovely i've heard nice things yes was very sweet and could just fucking nail those sitcom jokes. It was... Cancer Schmancer. Yes, the name of her memoir,

which maybe I'll read next. Judy, I don't know if you ever actually worked on a... I don't know if you've worked on like a multicam classic. Yeah. This is a very real show business question. I really don't know the answer to. Oh yeah, I did tons of tune have-mans. Did they just use the same houses and change the decor or do they make new ones that are, because that's like when I was watching the intro to your show.

Yeah. There's like a family on the couch scene of the kind where stage left is the front door and behind them there's a diagonal staircase up to the second floor. Yes. That is like the, you know, the Everybody Loves Raymond living room set. Yes. Modern Family living room set. The Two and a Half Men living room set. Is that like a thing where they just figured out some general formats that they can shoot comfortably on camera? Or is that a thing where they just, like, make one of them

and when the show gets canceled, they just repaint it? I mean, I would have to think number two. I don't have a real answer for you, but, like, I'm certain, like, so many feet, different famous feet, have been on those stairs back there. And when you go up the stairs, there's nothing. There's just, like, a platform. Like, you just have to stand up there and wait for the rest of the scene to be over because there's nothing there's just like a platform like you just have to stand up there and

wait for the rest of the scene to be over because there's nothing back there you know what are you a member of sag yes screen actors yes i am i'm i'm not but i am sag eligible oh and i think we should write a letter to sag and see if we could get a slide up there or a fireman's pole. Fireman's pole. Definitely want a pole. This is why is SAG so busy focusing on streaming residuals when they could be doing stuff that really affects the day-to-day quality of life of working actors like me and Judy Greer. Two equivalent working actors. Almost exactly the same type of working actor. Probably both did one episode of Comedy Bang Bang, and that's about where our careers end. Did it.

Yeah. So we have the same career. So you both want poles. We want poles. I want to slide down. I don't want to be stuck on that stair platform with the roof dog. Wait. Hey, this is my

roof. I do think they reuse a lot of that stuff. I think when I, my first PA job, they had a school set and one of the crew guys were like, oh yeah, these are the lockers from Buffy. So I think they do just have like, yeah, so I think they do just have a

store of, you know, bric-a-brac that they can slide in. I don't know if this is great material or not, but I had a meeting today with a producer for a movie. Basically, there is a high school, I've been told, in Syracuse, New York, that is now empty. It's for movies. And so this company, if I understand it correctly, American High, I believe, is the production company. And they, I guess, own this school. And so now there's just this, like, school set.

You can go and, you know, if you get financing, obviously, like, you can shoot your high school movie at American High in Syracuse, New York. I'll say this. When I was making the video series of Put This On, this is now, I don't know, 10, 12 years ago, something like that. I emailed Paul Feig, famously well-dressed Paul Feig, and said, can we come and shoot, you know, like a video profile of you and talk about outfits for a few minutes? And he said, well, yes, I'd love to do it. I'm making a movie right now. Turned out to be a little movie called Bridesmaids. Heard of it. And he's like, but, you know, we'll have a lunch break as long as you can do it in 15 or 20 minutes. I'm glad to do it

for you because he's the nicest man in the world. Taking a break from shooting his movie to be in our dumb web series. And we went and met him at the airplane where you shoot airplane. Yeah. I've shot on that airplane, like the airplane. Yeah. It's like, I think it might be the airplane from airplane. Like that's how airplane it is. And it was bananas because you're like well i mean how many airplanes do you need one maybe two you know so yeah there's just an airplane that's sort of like those dinosaurs in cabazon like if you need if you need giant dinosaur statues you head out to cabazon if you need to stand in for real dinosaurs and movies i don't know they use those to stand in for real dinosaurs in movies. No, test me. I don't know. They do. Oh, wow. Okay.

Wow. A hot piece of intel from a cast member of Jurassic World. I believe you said I carried the film in my introduction. No, I did not say that. Okay, good. I said you carried the franchise. I love that there's an airplane. I wonder if there's something I could buy, like a old ballot box or something that could

just be like the ballot box for the voting scene in the movie. Or like if you had... You could just coast off that one. Yeah. I became a king to my child at some point before the pandemic when I found I was in the thrift store. And one thing about being in the thrift store in Los Angeles is that Los Angeles thrift stores are like 85% regular thrift store shit, 15% unwanted crew gifts. And so I happened to find a Jurassic World like duffel bag.

Oh, my God. It was a pretty ritzy duffel bag, honestly. They weren't cutting any corners on the crew gifts on Jurassic World. And I brought that home to my child. And she basically was running through walls. She couldn't believe it when I explained to her that that had really been given to a best boy who didn't want it. Wow. To Matthew McConaughey? Every winter coat I have has the name of a movie on it that I've been in. Okay, let's go out on this.

What's your favorite swag? Best swag you've ever got? Well, I'm Midwestern and I'm very cheap and very practical. So, I got this giant Columbia Down jacket from The Village that is one of those big, warm, like Arctic type of jackets that as a Los Angelino, I do not require. So I would never spend the money on it.

But like, you know, when I travel or I go somewhere cold, like it's pretty kick ass to have. Like if you go to the village, for example. I go to the village. The funny thing about the coat is on our first day of work, they put those coats in all of our trailers with a sign on it that said this is your set jacket do not take it off of set it's never to be removed from set when the movie wraps you can take it home with you and that day when we were all getting back in the van to go back to the hotel all of us were wearing it like like none of the actors i know i read the sign and i was like fuck it oops can i say that yeah um so anyway we try and have a little more respect for m night shama on the night but

um anyway it was funny to see like i was like actors just like we don't care we were like we're freezing we need to take off one crew jacket and then put on another one you just throw on your wedding planner one i have ant-man winter coat i have halloween winter coat i have two i have a raincoat from the village and that winter coat from the village i have a winter coat from what was it john cena movie out playing with fire i have that winter coat i'm not kidding i saw these winter coats judy career fucking works i would love to see this pile of coats i would love half those coats what a physical manifestation of judy career's extraordinary success in show business this pile of winter winter coats my friend just went on an alaskan cruise and she was like do you have

a winter coat i can borrow for the cruise? And I was like, yeah, girl. What do you want? Halloween? Which movie? I got a rest of development one back here. I have my Living with Fran Chinese finger trap and it's all I need.

Well, it's all you can get your hands on because your goddamn fingers are stuck in there. I've been at this whole time. Well, Judy, it's always a joy to have you here. And I hope that everybody will watch Reboot because it's super funny. I mean, look, if it was just Judy Greer, but we got Keegan-Michael Key in there. All the funnies.

Jesus Christ, what a murderer as well. I barely have to do anything there. You're the best one, though. Look, everyone knows what a fan as well. I barely have to do anything there. You're the best one, though. Look, everyone knows what a fan of Rachel Bloom I am. She's incredible. Probably everybody knows how much I love Keegan-Michael Key. People might not know how much I love Paul Reiser,

but I talked Judy's ear off about how great Paul Reiser is on Red Oaks, on Amazon Prime. People know that I like these various actors. You know what I mean? Judy Greer is the best one on there. Aw. Yeah. Judy Greer gets to wear a duchess outfit.

Yeah. She looks both beautiful and hilarious. Oh, my God. In her duchess outfit. That's where you should have taken home from set. The duchess outfit. The duchess outfit. I know.

Oh, God. I also was excited that I got to wear pretty clothes, because usually I play, like, sad moms who shop at sad mom stores. I'm not going to say the names of them, because I don't want to offend anybody. But this one I got to wear pretty. Whataburger. Yeah. It's very

fun to see you a little bit playing against time as a kind of like a high status kind of shit talker. It's really fun. Thanks. Super, super funny. This show's called Reboot.

It's on Hulu. You should watch it. I had forgotten after two years of doing Jordan, Jesse, go remotely, Jordan, not how much I enjoyed seeing you in person.

I did remember that, but just how extraordinary your calves are. I mean, you really have powerful calves. Look have powerful calves. You always take the stairs. Holy cow. Our producer on the program, Daniel Zafran, Kevin Ferguson running the board for us this week. Thank you, Kevin. Thanks for making the trip. Our producer, Meredith, Brian, Sonny D. Fernandez. Our theme music is Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. Hey, Jordan, we're on Twitter now.

At JordanJesseGo. Yes, I think. I posted a meme of an animated gif of a vanilla milkshake. But because it's JordanJesseGo, Count the Vanilla Milkshake is actually human jisms. Oh! And people say

the internet's bad. Beautiful. people say the internet's bad. Beautiful. It sounds like it's good. Context transforms it. The context of our likely Peabody nominated program makes it

anyway. That's all I'm just saying. Beautiful gesture. Check out cool memes. We're also personally on Twitter at Jordan underscore Morris at Jesse Thorne. We're on Instagram at Jordan David Morris at put.this.on. And we're on Facebook at facebook.com slash Jordan Jesse Go.

All of those venues, what would you say is the dankest? I mean, they're all so dank. Don't make me choose. All right, Daddy. Don't make me choose. I shan't. Why don't you go back to England? I won't.

I'll go to hell where I live now. What is going on? I think we did the show. We did it. Thanks, Judy Greer, for taking a break from being a movie star. We did the show. To do whatever this is. We did the show. To do whatever this is. We did the show.

She's going to go on Letterman tomorrow. Oh, should we tell him? Carson, sorry, Carson. There you go. Have fun on Steve Allen. They're going to complain about rock lyrics. We did the show. Okay.

We did the show. We did it. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you.