Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Bone Yard, with Dan McCoy, Stuart Wellington, and Elliott Kalan of The Flop House

Episode Date: April 30, 2026

We're wrapping up the Max Fun Drive 2026 with our friends Dan McCoy, Stuart Wellington, and Elliott Kalan of The Flop House to chat about mushroom coffee, dynamic divas, and legendary NY destinations.  *Follow The Flop House Podcast on Instagram. *Check out Jordan Morris on The Flop House Podcast.  *Watch Jordan, Jesse, Go! Live stream replays on the Maximum Fun You Tube channel. *Check out what’s new on Bullseye with Jesse Thorn. *Check out more Amazing Spiderman content from Jordan. *Order Jordan’s new Web of Venom comic. *Check out Jordan’s comic Predator: Bloodshed. * Order Jordan’s new Predator comic: Black, White & Blood! * Order Jordan’s new Venom comic! * Donate to Al Otro Lado. * Purchase signed copies of *Youth Group* and *Bubble* from Mission: Comics And Art!   ~ NEW JJGo MERCH ~ Get  Bronto Dino-Merch! Get our ‘Ack Tuah’ shirt in the Max Fun store. Grab an ‘Ack Tuah’ mug! The Maximum Fun Bookshop! Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes! Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On. Follow producer, Jordan Kauwling, on Instagram. Thank you to engineer Gabe Mara!   Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/joinjjgo

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and sex and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I am Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. And this is Jordan Morris, mayor of Ozzy's Boneyard. Channel 38 on Sirius XM. Playing all the hard rock hits from Black Sabbath to Motorhead to anything else that would

make your dad say, turn that down. I'm trying to count my business papers. Here in the bone yard, we got all the bones you need. Femmer, tibia, his nasty little bitch of a wife, fibula, and a secret bone in your dick that only we know about. Go ahead while you're in the bone yard, do anything you want. No one can stop you. Not your mom, not your stupid boss who only got job because of who his dad is, not even the president of the United States, whose laws mean nothing to the sovereign nation that is the Boneyard. So kick back, crack a cold one at 10 a.m. and rock out to kiss, Metallica, and all the other hard rock artists that will make your ex-wife say, I'm sorry I made fun of your sword collection while we were together. It's Ozzy's Boneyard on

Sirius X-M. That's my new nickname. Jordan, my assumption is that your new nickname has to do with the fact that you recently purchased a Hyundai and it came with 90 days of free Sirius XM.

Yes. You've assumed correctly. I've got a three-month trial of Sirius XM. I put it on as kind of a goof thinking out, hey, I'll listen to this for the afternoon while I'm running errands and never again. And now I am fucking all about it. I love it.

I don't know what to do. I don't think I can subscribe to this. But for three months, I'm in the Boneyard. It's mostly the Boneyard. I've sampled a few of the other stations. But, man, I'm just, I'm locked in. I'm locked into the Boneyard. I'm surprised by this.

I would say aye-ai, but instead I'm going to say, there you go. I never knew you, Jordan, to be a hard rocker. I mean, that's not to say that you're not an enjoyer of punk rock, which certainly you have been for many years. And the occasional, you know, these heavy rock things that indie rock guy likes like Mastodon. I know you occasionally will check that stuff out, but I never pictured you listening to Metallica. Yeah, you know, it was always something I kind of enjoyed casually.

And yeah, some of this other stuff has kind of been kind of creeping into my listening lately. And I think the Boneyard just hit me at the right time. And there's, I don't know, something I kind of miss about just turning on the radio and seeing what's on. Yeah, I don't know. I like a DJ telling a bad anecdote. It's just a terrible anecdote. It's just an excuse to let people know that he occasionally texts with the bass player of Striper. Yeah.

The series, even when I worked at XM Radio, which was now 21 years ago or something like that, 23 years ago, every station only had three DJs. They were doing four-hour shifts that repeated overnight. And those DJs were chosen for their credibility, but they were just guys who could text the basest of a band. That was who the fans were. Did you know that in my house, my wife does not like jazz music? She actively dislikes jazz music. She stresses her out. She wants there to be a plan in place when a song starts.

Where is this going? And when she is listening. to her own music, like if she wakes up before me and she's down in the kitchen listening to music while she gets the kids breakfast together or something like that, she is invariably listening to Anni DeFranco. And while I have had Ani DeFranco on Bullseye and have immense respect for the work Ani has done to further the cause of independent music, to inspire a generation of young women to live the life that they choose rather than the life that others choose. for them to live wild and free and bang on acoustic guitars.

To my mind, it is a bad sound. I support it in every principle. Everything about it sounds right and good to me, but when I hear the sound of it, I say, I don't like that sound. So we have this problem, which is, if I want to like relax, I might want to put on a jazz album.

If my wife wants to relax, she wants to listen to Ani. And the intersection of our taste is only two things, and it's things that Teresa's dad used to listen to around the house. And Teresa's dad

loves heavy sound. So, I will put on Black Sabbath or Lee Perry. is either dub reggae, it's either heavy reggae or heavy rock. And I kind of like Black Sabbath.

Oh, yeah. I'm not a big rock and roll guy, but I do like slow heavy rock of the classic variety. So those are the things that I'm allowed to put on the stereo that will calm my wife because it is like her nostalgia for her childhood and that I can enjoy. occasionally I will be allowed to dip into less heavy reggae. So I'll listen to like the part of they come soundtrack or something like that. But generally, it's either like dub or heavy rock. That's when that slips into my house.

Jesse, I don't have a promo code for you or anything, but it sounds like you and the misses might need to take a trip to the Boneyard. I know, we might. You know what? We have some heavy rockers as getting. on our program. By the way, this is the final episode of the Max Fund Drive. So I'm going to ask you, as this episode is released, the Max Fund Drive is literally ending. We will give you till the end of the weekend. But as this episode is released, the Max Fund Drive is in its closing moments. So I'm just

going to say, right now, if you're out there, close the fucking deal. Close the deal. Make it happen. If you're already a member, go to Maximumfund.org slash join. If you're not a member, You can do this in two minutes. Maximumfund.org slash join JJ go. That's what's going to happen. Pah, pow, you'll be a member. I can remember a certain Alec Baldwin saying coffee is for closers, but in this case, bonus content is for closers,

because that's what you're getting, and that's like a coffee you listen to. And Jordan, can I add something to that? Yes. Coffee is for closers. If you're not a Max Fund member, you're not allowed to drink coffee anymore. No coffee.

No coffee for you. No espresso, no flat whites. Switch to Monster or something. No mocha choka, whatever that they're serving at these Starbucks. I can't even pronounce this thing. Can I just get a black coffee? Can I just get a coffee with two creams and two sugars, please? A grande?

Anyway. They even have this stuff at Dunkins. I'm just trying to get a donut here, and you're trying to sell me a lacquiano, whatever. Anyways, I don't know. my generation, we drink out of the hose. We drink out of the hose. I think lesbians are great, but should they be making our drinks? I don't know.

With their nose rings. I switch to character. I'm in character. I want to make clear. We're both in character. I haven't been introduced yet. So I shouldn't be talking about it. So I shouldn't be talking about.

I'll say you are so, the slippery slope from joke character to actually being that character is you're falling down fast. It doesn't help that Jesse and I both look like the guys who would do that. It doesn't help that it kind of tracks. We really, Jordan, I think that we truly live on the edge. Just an absolute razor's edge. It takes all of our energy to balance on this fine, fine point. You know, we're just standing on top of a flagpole with the ball of one foot.

And at any moment, we will fall either into guy complaining about Machiaato or guy complaining that the pour over is. isn't exactly the right temperature. Yes. We will become one of these awful men soon. Our guests, speaking of awful men, our guests on the program. We went from hard rockers to awful men. This is the most extraordinary crossover event in the history of Jordan Jesse Goh, because we have all three of the original peaches, the hosts of the flop house,

Elliot Kalin, Dan McCoy, and Stuart Wellington are all in the house with a. us. Gentlemen, welcome to the program. What a joy it is to have you here. Hello. Sorry. Here's the thing. I was anticipating. I'm sorry, Dan. Did you hear the energy I brought to the intro? That's why they call him Rarindigo McCoy. Did you need me to read the Boneyar thing again? I was anticipating so much chaos for the three of us being guests at the same time, plus the two of you that I'm like, I can't come in hot. Everyone's going to be cut. coming in, and then I was out there all alone on the field. I think what happened, Dan, if I can explain what happened, it's this.

The temperature got pretty hot on the show. You guys are familiar with our temperature, which is generally pretty medium. And Stu and Elliot thought about it for a moment, and they thought, you know what would bring this down? Dan. We said, we said Dan is the leader of the group. let him be the point person in introducing us saying hello hello yeah and and he did it yeah i'm i'm largely off coffee now does it now where does that place me in terms of maximum fun like what am i

allowed to do then if i mostly don't drinking loose leaf tea uh so i'm i've been drinking this mushroom coffee that my my my shaman came you transformation into a hobbit continues a pace so my uh My mother-in-law was telling us about this mushroom coffee. She was sitting there drinking her vodka tonic saying like, oh, you know, like looking at me and being like, oh, you know, if you're a drinker, you should have this mushroom coffee. I'm like, oh, really? She says, oh, it's very good for you. It's, you know, and it's got less caffeine. And caffeine had been bothering me recently.

So I'm like, I'll get, yeah, I'll try this mushroom coffee. And then Audrey reported back to me recently that her mom said to her, oh, did you get me that? mushroom coffee for Christmas. Apparently this was to incept us to know that like, oh, she wants mushroom coffee, but instead she did such a good job selling it to me that now I

drink the mushroom coffee. I stole her Christmas gift out of her brain. What is mushroom coffee? I think there is still a little bit of coffee in there, but it's mostly like mushroom dust. Don't oversell it, buddy.

It's not psychedelic at all, right? You're not using this to talk to God. I mean, there's not psychedelic. You know, all kinds of mushrooms purport to have these, you know, health benefits, these brain benefits. Who knows how much. Yeah, when you walk through the forest, they just whisper to you.

Yeah. Hey, brain benefits. Health benefits over here. Yeah. or bone zone pitch. Are you talking about Ozzy's Bone Yard, Channel 38 on Serious X-Im? You know, I am not a, you know,

a middle-aged divorced father of two yet, but I do feel like I fit within that demographic in some ways. I mean, as a married middle-aged father of two, when I get a serious free preview, I do mostly keep it on Ozzie's Boneyard. Ozzie's Boneyard rips so hard. But I haven't yet since Ozzie himself

went to the great bone yard in the sky. I'm wondering if you feel a little different. So listen to it now. Elliot, you're talking about the great bone yard in the dirt. He's in a bone yard. I mean, unless they burned him up into little ashes, he's in a bone yard right now. I think they did the thing where they leave the body out for vultures to the sky burial.

The vultures, not his wife in this case. or his two talentless children. I'm sure they're great. In my car, heavy music is mostly what gets played, and my wife does not care for it. So when she's in the car, we'll listen to music from her phone, which is often the kind of stuff that your wife listens to.

I know. My wife and Elliot's wife just bond over Anni DeFranco and Tori Amos. They're both teens who were self-actualized. That's a famous Amos. Through the medium of Ani and Tori. It's a famous Amos, yeah. I would say the three famous Amos is the best of them. It goes, Tori Amos is the best, famous Amos in the middle.

Then there's Amos and Andy. They're at the bottom of him. What about John Amos? John Amos figure into that. Oh, yeah, he's at that famous Amos level. Yeah, I think he's not quite Tori Amos, but, you know. My mother, in growing up in Washington, D.C., or as a young adult in Washington, D.C.,

There were three celebrities that she would bring up knowing. One of them was Famous Amos. I don't know how she knew Famous Amos, but she was friends with Famous Amos. I am now in the other half of the conversation I had with my younger son yesterday when I had to explain to him that Colonel Sanders was a real person. Okay, one of the three was Colonel Sanders. I did not know Famous Amos was a person. She will constantly bring up that one time famous Amos slept on their couch.

I mean, excuse me, Colonel Sanders slept on their couch. Colonel Sanders spent the night at my mom's house. John Kerry spent the night at my dad's house on the couch once. But Colonel Sanders spent the, and then she also knew Gil Scott Heron, which is a genuine, legitimate, impressive. I mean, he was a junkie asshole, to be clear, which I'm sure the other two were very nice people. No, no. I mean, I mean, Colonel Sanders was he on smack at the time because he had some problems with it too. Oh, he was strung out. Yeah, but he was... That's why he was staying there.

He was pretty steady, though. Like, as long as he got his shit, he was cool. I mean, you know, as long as he got fixed. Yeah, but his jazz albums just weren't the same after that he got clean, you know. Colonel Sanders. Yeah, it was missing one of the herbs or spices that he said. Right, yeah. One of the herbs was hoarse. But he, but my younger son, he was, I was pushing him on the swing in front of our house, and he says, to me, why does KFC have such a boring looking mascot?

And I was like, that's because that's a real person. That was, or it was a real person at one point. Also, that is a thrilling looking mascot. This is an incredible looking mascot. What are you talking about boring looking mascot? Gabriel. Yeah, exactly. Come on, Gabey, get your shit together.

It's on a sliding scale, though. Like, it's not a cartoon animal of some kind. But as humans go, it's a pretty exciting human-looking mascot. It's certainly a better human mascot than the general from those commercials with Shaquille O'Neal. For Wendy. From Wendy's. Wendy has a certain pippy longstock and quality about her that I like. Yeah.

Well, it's the hair. Yeah, that's pretty much it. And also that she can lift a horse. I will just always remember that brief time in Wendy's advertising where she was an adult and hot. It was probably like a year where there was just this like fucking smoking hot. hot adult Wendy. And every time I drive by one of those places, I'm like, I wonder how she's doing. Yeah, yeah.

His bedroom was plastered with posters of Wendy, yeah. I think it was after Dave Thomas died, they were like, finally we can sex up Wendy. The one guy who was standing in our way, he's no longer around anymore. He's in the bone yard where Ozzy will be someday. Ozzie and Dave Thomas founder of Wendy's, rotten in the bone yard. Stuart, I have a question for you because you are famously committed. to some very heavy music. Beyond the Boneyard is what I would describe it.

Yeah, you're not just listening to Judas Priest or something. You're listening to like specific sub-genreic metal bands where they only sing about Hobbits and play the guitar 20,000 miles an hour and shit like that. Yeah, you want to feel like you're caught in a whirlwind of razor blades. Yeah. So how does your wife feel about that? Is your wife as rocking as you?

My wife has almost no idea or understanding of what I'm listening to unless for some reason my phone accidentally connects to the car auto play first. And then she's like, what the fuck is this? No, my wife, our intersection, so she is big into like disco and dance music. And she, you know, she had a big punk phase. and she was, she was really into like the New York hardcore scene, but that was mainly because the guys there were less like creepy than in the other scenes when she was a teenager. But the one place that our musical tastes intersect is Faith No More,

the band Faith No More. Hey. That's a pretty good one. My college roommate, Mike, was really into Faith No More. And he was also into other, just like, even more like noise, brutal, weird. Who would like listen to like throbbing gristle or something? And I loved the guy, loved the guy.

He was a wonderful fucking guy. And he also loved the carpenters. And I was like, I am totally comfortable with having the carpenters in our dorm room. Like that is fine. It's not what I would choose to listen to, but, you know, there's not hurting your ears. Yeah, there's a reason they play it in a, you know, department store, right? When the Faith No More would be playing, I would say, I'm going to go to a friend's dorm room to give you some Faith No More time. Because, but I feel like the Faith No More guy.

Mike Patton. It seems like Mike Patton, seems like he has such a positive aspect. attitude and people who know I like rap music will constantly be telling me about things he is done with rap guys because they think that will convince me to like the music. Having heard it, it will not. Again, so not opposed to it existing in the world, so not opposed to what it means to others. But to me, it is not a sound I like. Yeah, the, the music. You're not the, you that Stewart listens to is so aggressive that even though I am very committed to the idea, like people like what they like, they should like what they like, it's their taste, it's not

hurting me, I should have no opinion on it. And yet, Stewart's music is so aggressive that there is a part of me that's like, what the fuck is going on? Like, how can you listen to this for pleasure? Didn't realize this was my intervention. Stewart, this is to support Stewart, not to, not to, I come to support Stewart, not to bury him in the bone yard. Up in the sky bone yard. Yeah, exactly. The up in the sky bone yard.

But he once, he said multiple times, he goes, I listen to music that is objectively unpleasant. And I think that if he gets joy from it, which is wonderful. But I think the, I think one of the many strengths of Stewart is that he can like something but also see it from another person's point of view. And he can say, I like this thing. And also he showed us his muscles. He's also his weightlifting.

Actually, you know, one of the weaknesses of Stewart is his need to. to constantly talk about how he's weightlifting. Incredible. But that Stewart is like, I love this. Other people should not like it. They don't like it. And I think that's... It's mainly...

I think it's very fair. In the words of Vinsvall, the front man and sole main member of the band Bluthaus Nord, that music is a solitary experience. When asked why they don't... Why Blutaus Nord does not perform live, or in the case of black metal,

do not perform live rituals, as they call it. Right. Well, Stuart and I, Stuart once took me, I think, might have been a birthday present. I'm sure. We went to see the band Carcass play. Happy birthday to you. It was a great show. It was a great show.

And there was a band before it, I don't remember which band it was, but it felt like there was something kind of off about it. And Stuart leans in me, goes, it probably won't surprise you to know that they play at the Warped Tour quite a bit. And I'm like, oh, okay, what's? And for Stewart, this is a mark of extreme distillery. Yeah. Just to close to loop, Dan, what's on in the McCoy house just casually on a Sunday when you're putting away the groceries?

Well, you know what? I used to like some more aggressive sounds. It was more in the punk, post-punk new wave, like the more aggressive of new wave stuff. But there's a lot of stuff that Audrey, I think, it's not like she finds it like abrasive, but it's too like repetitive. Like, you know, it'll get into like a groove. And I'm like, yeah, like, I will like a groove that just goes on without a lot of variation. But her main thing is like, is this a song I could sing at karaoke? Like, will this be pleasant to sing for me?

Like, so she likes a lot of more R&B and diva-e stuff. So I think that combined with my aging means that now I just like put on a lot of smooth sounds. Ooh. Okay, I got a follow-up question to that. And this is a question for the group. Who's your top diva? For me, Liza. No question about it.

My top diva, Liza Minnelli, I love her dancing. I love her singing. And I love that she always looks like she's both looking into your soul and looking for an exit. Oh, wow. Like an emergency exit, like a fire door. What about you, Elliot? Who's your diva? I mean, living or no longer living?

You can do, living or no longer live? Are you going to say Maria Callis? No, I was going to say, no longer living, Marlena Dietrich. Okay. Living Patty Lupeone. Yeah, Patty Lepone's a great diva. Although I saw, you know, I saw Patty Lepone in company. I thought she was good, but not great.

I don't need to hear that from you. Okay. I saw her in a Sondheim. Now, I'll say this. I saw her in a Sondheim review that I went to see here in Los Angeles. She was, that was one of the best things I've ever seen, and I did not expect it to be. I was like, I'm just going to, I'm just going to see this because it's in town and my sibling is here. I know they like musical theater.

So we're going to go, we're going to go to this Sondheim review. I like Sondheim. Fully staged, fucking three divas on stage, ripping it down. Everybody was incredible. Oh, it was so great. Jordan, who is your diva? Gotta be the alien xenomorph queen. Yes.

Yes, indeed. She lays eggs. She's frequently called a bitch. And, you know, she can go up against a power loader. So, yeah. And also, she knows when to fight and when to back down. When that flamethrower is pressed up against her eggs, she is not going to push it. You know, she knows that a div is going to take care of babies.

She knows the importance of, say it with me, family. Yes. That's why Bishop said diva down when she got sucked down. At the airlock, yeah. Yes, that famous line from Aliens, FIFA down. When Lance Hendrickson and as Bishop goes, no queen. No queen. No, do you think, Elliot, do you think that Patty Lepone could go up against a power loader?

I mean, in a singing contest, yes. I think she will win that. I think that's what we all assume he meant, a singing contest. She could probably say something like caddy in the press about the power loader. Oh, for sure. Oh, for sure. and people will be like, can you believe Pali Pone said that? I'll be like, yeah, I can.

She says what she wants. That's what she does. She's a diva. Okay, Dan, who's your diva? I had to, like, I really, I had to Google a list because I feel like div is such a fungible term. I'm like, where are we stopping here? But I'm going to go with the- You see settled on Hillary Clinton.

She came so close. Peter Ginsburg. Who my child wanted to dress up as for Halloween. I think I'll go with Aretha Franklin. Aretha Franklin. Aretha Franklin. Okay. Good.

Aretha Franklin had some excellent diva behaviors. First of all, she was a mean person. Truly one of the great singers of all time. I have nothing bad to say about Aretha Franklin as a singer. I love Aretha Franklin records. All she was asking for was respect, Jessica, right? I love, my favorite Aretha Franklin album is probably her gospel album, Amazing Grace. I really recommend that.

It's just a big gospel, it's a live recording from the, early 70s that just absolutely rips. And there's a film of it that's amazing that came out recently, too. But long been my favorites. I'm not putting down Aretha Franklin, but I will say that there is like this clip going around of Jill Scott talking about the time she met Aretha Franklin. And Jill Scott is obviously a fucking radiant human being. Like Jill Scott is somebody, she's like a walking hug.

You know what I mean? As opposed to Jill Scott Herron, who is difficult? Yeah, yeah. Very difficult. Gil Scott Aaron once told my dad that he wouldn't go on stage in the anti-war vets benefit unless somebody scored for him

and my dad was like, we're all clean and sober, we're fucking crazy vets. Anyway, but Aretha Franklin, like to watch Jill Scott to paroxysms to try and say

that Aretha Franklin was a bitch to her. She like met Aretha and Aretha was an asshole. But the other thing about Aretha Franklin is throughout her career, if you wanted Aretha Franklin to go on stage, you had to pay her in full. Right beforehand. Yeah.

In cash beforehand, she would put the $50,000 in her purse and keep it on the piano during the concert, which is fucking amazing. Like that is a, that is a crossover between diva and like chitlin circuit trauma. Well, that's what I was going to say, there must have been so many shows she did where they're like, yeah, we'll pay after the show. Oops, sorry.

See you later, you know. Yeah. But her keeping it on stage with her is the thing that gets to me because it's like, I don't even trust the people I came here with. Yeah, exactly. I just love that it's also that it's in her purse, that like she brings a purse on stage, puts it on the piano and that purse happens to have. That's like the setup of a heist movie, you know, like. Yes. We've got to steal this.

This purse has $50,000 on it. We got to switch the purse is for a dummy purse. We've got to do it on stage while Aretha Franklin is singing. This is going to be an amazing episode of leverage. That's why we need Jesse Eisenberg and his magician team to take care to this one. And now a team of younger magicians, I guess. Hey, I'm on one for the ride. Aretha Franklin never got paid $2,500.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, the last time Aretha Franklin got $2,500 was $1961, you know. And so if you're giving Aretha $100,000, like, it's hard to even fit that in a purse. You know what I mean? Like, you crisp hundreds, if you got $100, $100 bills in there, you know what I mean? I don't know that ever had a hundred crisp $100 bills. I don't know what you mean.

Go to the banking. Yeah, let's start your 401. We'll see how the pledge. Life goes, Maximumfund.org slash join. Stuart, who's your top diva? Obviously, uh, my, my choice is, uh, influenced largely by romantic interest, but of course, my top diva, Miss Piggy, no question. She's the best.

I, yeah, she's great. I had a, did you get, I had a friend who, uh, I had my one and share. Yeah. I thought she, close. Close. She's obviously in the running. I have a friend who, I was just talking to her this weekend who had a Liza story, which did involve a meeting. She was a PA and she met, she like got sat down next to Liza.

Liza encouraged her to sit down next to her while she was like holding court with Tony Danza as well. And Liza was like, tell me your story. Just two rates of Italian entertainment. Liza's like, tell me your story. And my friend who's like, you know, like 22 is like just does not know what to say. And Liza's like, wait, wait, wait, wait. And like picked up the candle off the table and lit a cigarette with it. and then was like, okay, so what's your deal?

What's your story? Have you guys seen all that jazz? Yeah, sure. This is, I found out after I watched this, this is one of our producer Jordan Cowling's favorite movies of all time. I watched it only recently. That shit isn't. I thought it was going to be, in my head,

it was like a fun musical review. I thought it was, I don't know why I thought it was just like a retrospective of Bob Fosse shows with dance numbers, like one of those, like, that's what I call entertainment. Yeah, well, like, the kind of show that, I think they did a show at one point on broad, I called Fossi. That was just that. That was just, like, numbers from his shows, you know.

All that jazz is a guy going insane on crank. Like, who Bob Fossey would tell you is not based on him, although everything about it is clearly him. And when he has a prescription medication bottle, it is his real address printed on the side of the bottle. But it is, it's, it, all that jazz is one of the few times that American mainstream studio cinema gets to the place that like European autobiographical art cinema goes. Whereas literally like, well, this is a movie about you. The way that eight and a half is about Falini.

Like this movie is about Fawsey. I would love to have a movie where Roy Shider plays me. Just with his fucking maniac eyes. Uh, you guys want to take a little break. see if we can get in touch with Roy Shider's agent and then come back for some more. Yeah. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go.

It's Jordan Jesse Go. I am Jesse Thorne, America's Radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Stuart Wellington, handsome drifter. Dan McCoy, Brooklyn's only bearded man. Elliot Kalin, cutest bulb in the cabbage patch. Three fucking bangers. at this. You guys have done the show before. You've done the show before. Are you a tulip or something?

Do cabbages grow from bulbs? Probably. Okay. I don't know. I feel like in a cabbage path, you could come up and be like, I'm a tulip, baby. Hey, guess so. Hey, guess what, guys, it's the Max Fund Drive, the very closing moments of the Max Fun Drive. And we are here to ask you to to become a member of maximum fun at maximum fun.org slash join. To put it in terms that everyone will understand, layman's terms, you are Indiana Jones. The Max Fund drive is on one side of a slowly descending stone door, and it has not gotten all the way to the floor yet. And your MaxFund membership, your hat is still on the other side. There's still enough time for you to reach under that closing door, pull that membership hat out, and put it on your head by going to maximum fund.org slash join before the start.

door closes all the way. One of the reasons that I am so glad that we are doing this episode with the three of you guys is that you guys have the same sort of long-term relationship with each other that Jordan and I have with ourselves. I mean, Dan and Stu, you guys literally went to college together. True, yeah. Which Jordan and I did. But also, like, with the exception of Stu is in the bar and restaurant business. The four of the rest of us are in the entertainment industry. And it means so much to have work like doing our shows. When you work in an industry where you never get to do the thing that you want. When you get to do the thing you want, it gets taken away from you after you've worked on it for two years and no one has seen anything. Like,

the idea that Jordan Jesse Go and the flop house are things that we are passionate about that like form deep long-term bonds with each other and our audience that no one can take away from us because we are max fun I think is something that I know I feel and I imagine you guys feel too especially at this moment when the industry is largely theoretical Yeah, I mean, I think that like, like Max Fun, Max Fun is a very cool special place. And I think that like as as big business, you know, gets its tentacles tighter and tighter around podcasting,

like I know a lot of people who do shows for giant tech companies, right? And, you know, would it be nice to have some of those amenities, like for instance, a Christmas party that Keshe a place? plays that. Yeah, would I like to see Kesha at the MaxFund Christmas party? Sure. But I'm sorry to interject, Jordan, but I think what you would prefer to do is brush your teeth with a bottle of Jack and then come in and do our show. Yeah, exactly. And I think that like, because we do shows for Max Fun and not, you know, a giant company that also uses our voices to train AI and gives Trump money for a ballroom, is that we can keep doing the show with a audience that, compared to some of these other

shows is is pretty small. And I think Max Fund's business model is that like, hey, you don't need a million people to listen to the show. You just need like a few hundred weirdos. And I think that I love that we make our shows for a few hundred weirdos. And yes, would it be exciting to have some of the things that these giant tech companies bring sure, but I would much rather do my show and keep doing my show for people that I like, knowing that the company behind it is a worker-owned co-op and not you know, the other thing. So, so yeah, it's, it's very cool that we're still doing these shows all these years later for a cool place like Max Fun.

I mean, I know, like, I'll give the example of Jordan's project bubble that I, that I helped produce a podcast of. Like, Jordan had written this script, and I was like, this is so funny. We should just make a fucking podcast of this. And guess what we did? We just made a fucking podcast of it. guess who owned it Jordan did you know what I mean like Jordan got to make a book out of it and Jordan worked on it in show business show business for years with good smart people who had connections to squigillions of dollars I mean like serious heavy hitters and at the end of years of work that we were all grateful that Jordan was getting no one gets to see it and so for the rest of our lives people will be coming up to us and saying, when is the bubble movie? Right? But Jordan Jesse Go and the flop

house are something that is sustainable for the long term that we can come back to every week and share something with an audience that is really deeply connected to us and to it. Because we are run by our members, because people go to maximum fund.org slash join and support us, this is something that will last as long as our hearts allow us to do it. I mean, you know, obviously bonus content wise, Jordan, you and I could only watch so many episodes of Alex Inc. Before we had a total emotional collapse. Yes, what would run out first, the episodes of Alex Inc. or our sanity? We answered that question.

And you can listen to us answering that question in real time in the bonus feed now. Our colleague, our Maxone colleague John Moe the other day, John hosts Depression Mode on this network as well as sleeping with celebrities. If you haven't heard these shows, Depression Mode is an interview show about mental health. And sleeping with celebrities is a great show that is an interview show about celebrities' special interests where they talk about them in a slightly interesting but ultimately slightly boring way so that you can fall asleep while you're listening to it. And, you know, John made a show for many years for American Public Media called Wits that he brought lots of our favorite friends in our friends, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy worked on the show. They put on incredible shows in Minneapolis and Maria Bamford would come in regularly, Paul F. Tompkins, John Hodgman, all are our favorite people, right? And it was doing pretty well, but APM's funding priorities to. changed, and that was just the end of it. And then John worked on a show called The Hilarious World of

Depression for American Public Media for years. And again, this is a wonderful public media institution, right? This is not even a rapacious Elon Musk operation. You know, he wasn't doing it for SpaceX. And one day they just said, sorry, we changed our funding priorities, you're done. And what When he was done, we literally had to call the people that make a prairie home companion, the nice people in Minneapolis who make a prairie home companion, and beg them, can we keep doing the show? Can John just keep doing it on his own? And they were like, no. And eventually they were like, well, maybe if you'd give us $100,000.

That's why it matters that creators own the shows. That's why it matters that Max Fund is supportive of creators. And John wrote a beautiful essay about this, you know, five or six paragraphs that's on its blue sky right now. But ultimately, like, the fact that creators own the show and the fact that creators are making their own creative choices because they want to do something that they're really passionate about and they really believe in shows in the work that we do, I think. And it shows in the connection that we have with our audience. like maybe it may be the fact that we don't like have a kid character that we bring in means that we don't have four quadrant podcasts right if you're a jordan jesse go fan you're a jordan jessie go fan because you're a very particular kind of person if you're a if you're a

flopper you're a flopper because you're a very particular kind of person but that is what max fun is for like that is what we do we enable that kind of passionate creation and the reason we're able to do that is because we are member supported. Like if we were supported otherwise, if we were just trying to sell sports gambling ads, it would not work. And so that's why we're so grateful when people go to maximum fund.org slash join and become members. But hey, so if you join Max Fund, you get a good feeling. You know you keep these shows coming. You know you support the network. You know you support a worker-owned co-op. These are good feelings. You also get hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hours of bonus content, not just from the shows you support,

but from all of the shows on the network. And the bonus content is, I think we've, you know, we talk about the weird stuff we do for Boko a lot because it is. It's weird. It's fun. It's, it's off format. And yeah, I think all the creators have a lot of fun with like doing special weird, cool stuff during bonus content.

Floppers. What is coming up in the world of Flop House bonus content? And what have you done in the past that you've really liked? It's funny that you mentioned that after that format format format, because this year is probably our most on-brand bonus content that we've done in years and years. But in the past years, we've done all sorts of different stuff. We did, we've done audio commentaries for movies. We did a lot of live kind of role-playing game episodes. In fact, I think just recently another episode of our Slop Tales series that where Stuart ran us through a game where Dan and I and our friend Jubin were playing characters.

were running a beachside restaurant in a sort of sitcom-type world, which is one of my favorite things we ever done. Classic Dungeons and Dragons setup. I mean, we started as a crossover with the Adventure Zone where we were just playing D&D, and since then we've done, I think, like, three or four variations where they're basically playing the same, like variations of the same characters, but in different settings.

It's kind of like my, like Michael Morcock, Eternal Champions, but they're cartoon dogs sometimes. I was going to say, the last one weren't you barnyard animals? We were dogs that live on a farm. We did two, the first one of those, we were just trying to get the chili that was being prepared for a wedding taking place on the farm. But we played those characters in a kind of weird, weird mystery fiction series where we were investigating a kind of alien HP Lovecraft type mystery. And this current one is basically those same characters again. But yeah, we work at a seaside beach restaurant.

I would say this one gets the furthest away from the, original characters maybe. Although as you've been always, because it is his comedy fastball plays a character that thinks he is very high status and insists upon it with everyone else and gets very

angry if he's not given the deference he requires. That's true. Usually I play a character that's more like me which is kind of like a annoying fast talker. But in these ones I'm playing more of a stoner long talker and it's been, it was

freeing to be able to play a character who does not have to keep on target at all. And part of my job as a character is to get things off target. Jordan and I had made, so we made Gracie's Game Gauntlet. This was a show where my daughter, Grace, picked horrible video games for us to play. And then we made podcast movie movie podcast, which was a podcast where we watched movies about podcasting and podcasters and also shows. We watched every episode of the podcasting sitcom Alex Ink starring Zach Brass. And we had a great time traveling through that nightmare with our audience friends.

I think the shows are very funny and I think everyone will enjoy them. We did a vote on what we should do next. And we had some ideas for new, let's say, trials for us to endure, Job-like. but ultimately I think our audience wanted us to do something that we want thought was good. And so our new show for this year is going to be TBW to be watched. And Jordan and I are going to be watching movies that we've been meaning to watch forever, but have never gotten around to watching. And I'm really looking forward to that because as the parent of three,

I only get to watch movies that I have to watch for work. So by saying that I have to watch these movies for work, I can go and abandon my children and the rest of my family and maybe skip cooking dinner for tonight. Floppers, what's this year's flop bonus content going to be? Well, we are committed to at least three of the Transformers movies. We've already done one, arguably the finest of them all, the 1980s animated one. The Transformers, the movie. Yeah, Elliot was at my house telling me that movie's kind of. of good.

I don't know if I'd say kind of good. I clear, but I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. But what I was just, I think you're honing in on the scene that is the best moment in the movie, which is when the Transformers and the Junkion robots, the, or the robots that live on the junk planet are just dancing to dare to be stupid by Weird Al. Which is, which goes on for a while and you're like, I can't believe this made it to be a movie. But we are, we are committed to doing three bonus episodes at least. We're going to do Transformers the movie, the first Michael Bay Transformers. movie and also Transformers

One, the Transformers prequel about how these robot cars, what they were like as kids. And if we reach... Wait, it's like a Muppet Babies? Not exactly. I think it's them in school or something like that. It's them going through the training or something. They're hanging out behind the school smoking cigarettes, trying to get late for the first time.

Exactly, exactly. It's called Everybody wants some transforming. It's like an American graffiti, but with Transformers. They turn into the cars that then drive up and down the strip just, you know, all night long. Got it. You're just wandering across bridges. But, uh-oh, the train is coming.

Astro train, yeah. We have a couple of stretch goals, and the more members we get, the more, the more Transformers movies we'll have to watch. The very furthest stretch goals was perhaps optimistic for a year in which everything is falling apart. But I do think that we are within a possible for the first goal, especially if those who you, who are, you who are, listening here toward the end of the drive decide yeah yeah you know what yeah this is important to me let's uh let's do it i want to say this everything around us does feel like it's falling apart that i would like to ask you to consider to be more reason to support something that you love and is comforting to you and feels good and uh makes your life feel more secure and better

and i think i feel that way about the flop house i'm sure there are people people listening right now who feel that way about Jordan Jesse Go. I would say of the 12 people listening probably three, four, maybe even five of you feel that way. If you feel that way, go to maximum fund.org slash join. Of course, you can join at any level, just $5 a month, get you all that bonus content. This year, we just added an ad-free feed of Jordan Jesse Go that you can get at the $10 a month level. So think about kicking it up there. You get that plus the enameled keychain, and the prizes at levels above that are even better,

and they're all cumulative. You get all this stuff, and you get all this stuff at your prize level plus the lower prize level. So go to maximumfund.org slash join. Become a member right now. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. It's Jordan Jesse Go.

I am Jesse Thorne, America's Radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Stuart Wellington, handsome drifter. Dan McCoy, Brooklyn's only bearded man. Elliot Kewan, cutest bulb in a cabbage patch. Oh, look. It's Elliot. It's all these unpleasant cabbages that my mom is making me eat,

plus this one beautiful tulip that I look forward to eating. This will be a treat. Yeah, that's right. I'm a tulip eater. find me in Solvang eating all the tulips. Expensive hobby at one time. That's what the tulip craze was all about, tulip eating. Right.

Elliot, since you moved to Southern California, have you been to Solvang, the Dutch theme town? I've heard of it, but have not been there, but I kind of want to go to it. I kind of want to go to Solvang. Will you guys come to Solvang with us? Boy's trip. We're going to the Hans Christian Anderson Museum.

We're eating a brought worst. Yeah, it's the guy's trip. No girls allowed. Can I pack my later hosen? Is that fitting or is that... Oh, you better, motherfucker. But it's not staying on long because we're all getting laid. Wow.

I have to ask my wife, but... I don't know, yeah. Pack your later hosin? Pack your beer helmet. We're going to the Dutch themes down of Solvang. And we'll put a fine chardonnay in the beer helmet because it's also wine country. Yeah. Yeah.

It's also wine country. Dutch wine country. When something momentous happens to you, like you finally hit that Dutch wine country in Solvang. You finally get to go to Solvang and live your dream. For a while, my handyman lived in Solvang. He's just driving down to Los Angeles to do Handyman shit and driving back up to Solvang. A real nice guy. Had some teeth mithing.

I mean, that doesn't stop someone from being a nice guy. Or from handymanning. Yeah. You know. Don't need teeth for that job. Unless you're trying to bite things in, like a bite off like a bit of cable insulation. Yeah. I mean, that's going to contribute to the tooth loss.

It's probably how he lost those teeth. Anyway. Wrench, I don't need a wrench. Ah. No, don't do that. That's not good for your teeth. One time we wrote letters of support for. him in his child custody case.

He was such a nice man. His story is getting sadder and sadder as it goes on. Trying to get people to go. Look, if you go to Maximumfund.org slash... Anyway, he tried to shoot Bill Clinton at one point, but he had his reasons.

Yeah, that guy had his reasons. Who wouldn't try and shoot a guy with a communist wife? Okay. Oh, whoa. Once again, once again, Jesse is testing the barrier. Okay, when something momentous happens to you, give us a call.

at 206-984-4-Fund or just send us a voice memo at JJG go at maximum fun.org. Guys, are you ready to hear one of these? Because we have them on tape. Please. Yes. No. Okay. Okay. Jordan, what's your vote? You know what? We do it in every episode. So I say

let's do it in this episode too. Okay, great. Here we go. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. This is Terran calling from New Westminster, British Columbia. I have a momentous occasion that I am covering from breast reduction surgery, which means I got to medically dump them out. Also, when you have that done, they draw all over your boobs with Sharpie. And my surgeon said to me, this is where your new ariola will be.

So that's pretty exciting. I love the show. Thank you. Bye. I have a question about breast reduction surgery. I'm the one to answer it. It is my business. I mean, my wife literally had it done.

I'll handle this one, Stuart. Stewart could get her. She's in the other room. No, no, no. I think I know what I'm talking about. I forgot that Elliot was her boob dula for this whole situation. I don't think that part of breast reduction surgery is getting new ariola, right? My assumption is that since it's changing the shape and dimensions of the breast, you know.

You will have smaller breasts and will help you with your back pain and a lot of other things. And while you're doing that, why not upgrade the aureole? Charlene's going to be so mad listening to this. We're going to give you four aerosans. You're getting your bathroom. Stuart, Charlene's never going to listen to this. They go, while you're at it, while you're at it, why don't we replace this window?

Yeah. Yeah, sure. Okay. Yeah, let's do that. You know who does a lot of breast reduction surgeries? My handy man, he lives up in so. Oh, yeah. Dieter up there or whatever.

Yeah, he told me a story about how he hit a guy on the high. highway had never told anybody. Oh, Jesse. Geez, man. We're trying to do a comedy podcast. Trying to be funny here. Well, I hope everything went okay with the surgery. Yeah, I hear that that's...

The folks that I know that have gotten the breast reduction of surgery have been very happy that they did. Yes. I don't know anyone that I know of who has regretted it afterwards. My penis reduction surgery went great. Yeah, yeah. You don't regret it. I don't regret it. And I can play hockey.

They're the same thing, by the way, penises and breasts. I can see steam coming off of Stewart right now. Jordan, when you got your penis reduction surgery, did they draw in your penis where your new peel would be? Oh, I did that beforehand at home. Well, the way you, because you asked them to add a couple extra so you could play it like a flute or a recorder. Hot cross buns. I mean, based on what I've heard of Jordan's. penis, it's more of an ocarina, right?

Right, yes. Well, after the surgery, certainly. Yeah, yeah. When I got my penis reduction surgery, they were drawing on there and they asked me where I wanted my new pee hole. I said, put it on the bottom faucet style. You know, try something new. I'm tired of peeing out.

I want to start peeing down. But that must have been a hard adjustment the first few times, yeah. Well, I mean, I usually pee in flower pot, so it worked out really. Good. Sounds handy. I grow tulips at home and cabbages. Oh, well, you know what they love is fresh pee. Yeah, you're right.

That's what they're looking for. They call it nature's rain, yeah. That's why those Dutch are always pissing outside. Is that a thing they do? We see you nasty Dutch folks pissing outside. It is wild, though, that when you get surgery, they just draw on you with a marker. Yeah, but it's like going to a tailor, you know? Just put chalk on those clothes, you know?

The main thing. that I find distressing, that I think I should logically find comforting, but I do find a little upsetting, is that if you're getting surgery on one part of your body, and it's a part that is bilateral, right? Like, look, you've only got one tum-tum or whatever, but if you're getting hand surgery or something, they mark which one it's on in case they forget when they get in there. I'm going to be real glad they did mark that. I was about to bring this up because when I got my knee surgery, like, I was asked about... When they gave you the knee of a serial killer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did have a cadaver graft. So a dead man's, you know, cartilage was in my knee. Now it's mine. Now it's been replaced by mine. But, yeah, like 10 times I was asked, like, and which knee is it? And, you know, like, it got past the point where I'm like, oh, this is comforting and just being like, come on, guys. Like, we've done it.

We've done it. There's been enough redundancy. You're going to do the right thing. They should just do both, right? I mean, didn't a surgeon just recently removed the wrong organ and tried to convince the other doctors that they had removed the right organ? Wasn't that a story that was in the news

just within the last few weeks? Did not see that. That seems right. The thing about a surgeon is they're a fucking maniac. Like, all surgeons are fucking maniac. Judging by the surgeons in my family, yes. You have to have a certain amount of dangerous confidence to be like, yeah, I'm going to cut this person open

and mess around with what's inside them and make it better than it was before. My surgeon drew on me, but I had it saved and graded because my surgeon is Todd McFarlane. Oh, that's nice. I went in for an appendectomy, and when I came out, somebody had drawn a dick on my forehead. I was going to say, how many surgeons had their, like,

epiphany aha moment where they're, like, drawing a dick on a drunk person's fore. They're like, I should be a surgeon. I'm kind of a maniac. Great. J.K., we got another call in the old call box. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and I'm going to get Swozy Kurtz. I have an entry for your long-running segment,

Star Wars character accidental Kaiju cosplay. I was riding my bike through Eagle Rock, and I was going past tacos via Corona. And they had outside, like most taco places do, a Shibaka statue only the sun had done something to it so it was turning green

so it looked a lot like a green gargantua from War of the Gargantua and yeah I know it's a Frankenstein don't get into it with me I knew it is Gargantua please please okay thanks so I'm attaching a picture

so you can judge for yourself Elliot I'm gonna go to you for the reaction on this one I can't wait I want to see this picture yeah I guess I can see see it kind of like a gargantua. It still looks like Chubacca to me. He's still got the bandolier.

His fur has become patchy, which is more of the gargantua thing. So are those like bowcaster bolts or are they like packs of cigarettes? Those are bowcaster bolts, yeah, and cigarettes, yeah, a little bit of both. A Chubaka heavy smoker. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's why it sounds like that. You should have heard his voice before the cigarettes, yeah. Yeah, hello, I'm Chewbacca. Chewbacca and tobacco sound very similar, and that's why. That's true. That's true. Although the thing is, his name's Chewbacca, he should be doing Chaw, right?

Just stick a lump up in your lip there, Chavaca. Go on. Chubaga was a minor league baseball player in the 60s. I believe it. I got to say about this Chewbacca, as we've been shown the photograph by Jordan Cowling, our producer, I have to say

this Chewbacca is dramatically greener than I anticipated. I know that he said that this Chubaca had turned somewhat green. This looks like a man in a gilly suit. See, I don't know.

I was expecting, like, Statue of Liberty green, so it's a little bit less green than I was expecting. You thought that this Chewbacca was made out of copper? Exactly. I thought it was a classic

copper Chubac. Yep. It needs a haircut. I think if he lost the bandalier, I'd say it's a little bit more gargantua-e. But the gargantua,

as anyone who's seen the war the gargantua's knows, do not accessorize. Ah. Famously, famously. Do you think they have problems at the Statue of Liberty with tweakers getting on the ferry boat going out there and hacking off pieces of a copper to sell at the metal yard? I mean, if it wasn't so difficult to get out there, mainly because the tickets sell out very early, I would say, yes, that would be a problem they have. I mean, the tweakers are up early.

That's true. Yeah, I mean, it's more like they sell it like months ahead of time. And I don't think, I don't think of tweakers as people who can plan that far ahead. No, they do make a lot of plans, though. Is there room on a ferry for, uh, is there a room on a ferry for, like a shopping cart to carry all the copper you hacked off? Oh, there's, I bet you. I would imagine. So you can fit that on a gangplank.

That feels like, that feels like the, uh, that's the heist movie is. It's a bunch of weeks. And they want, it's the ultimate heist that people have been dreaming about for years is the entire statue of liberty. We'll get it piece by piece and bury it in our yard. I have a question for the three of you. New Yorkers and one former New Yorker who grew up in the greater New York City area. Right. I was right. It took me less than half hour to get to New York by train from my home. So what are the legendary New York tourist destinations that really deliver?

And what are the legendary New York tourist destinations that fail? I mean, I'll definitely rep Katz's delicatessen. I think it's really great. It's a experience. It's crazy. It's like kind of dirty and the food is great. I thumbs up to that. Yes. You want to go to Katz's right before lunch. You don't want to go at lunch because you'll have to wait online. If you go a little bit before lunch, you can get in there much quicker. Like an 11 a.m.? Yeah, exactly. And, but yeah, it's a great experience. No, I like to go at night when they're like, drunk guys are getting chucked out by the bouncers. Yeah, that's a good idea. That's a good idea. It turns into a nightclub after 11. It kind of does. It kind of does.

It kind of does, yeah. Speaking of the Statue of Liberty, I feel like going up to the crown in the Statue of Liberty is overrated. But seeing the actual statue itself is always magical, you know. Like looking out from the shore? Looking from the shore. Take the Starry. Take the Ferry. And like you look at it from the ferry.

Yeah. The Staten Island Ferry is the ride out to Staten Island is so fun. You see the statue and everything. The ride back feels a little bit like, yeah, I did this. And you're not going to spend that much time on Staten Island. But seeing it from the ferry is always really excited. You can take, like, the ferry to Red Hook, and it's like half the time, and you can still see the statue. Yeah, that's true.

I feel like, when I'm in New York City, I'm like, get me to Staten Island. I got to do, I got to see all my Staten Island peoples. I got to do all my, go to visit all my favorite Staten Island stores. I got to use the least used subway train in the city. What do you think, Dan? What's the thing that you would tell someone from out of town to go do and not do? It's a newer tourist attraction. The Museum of Sex.

We get it, Dan. Is there a Museum of Sex? There is. It's called Dan's apartment. Oh, shit. Let's just say this. All the exhibits are pretty dusty. Am I a dance apartment or Sol Deng?

Boystrip. Boy strip. Boy strip to Dan's apartment. Where am I in the episode? I've come on stuck in time. Yeah, so, Dan, what is the newer tourist attraction? The high line, the high line, I think, is a very nice walk. You know, it's pretty crowded, but it's pleasant.

There's always something different to see. For non-New Yorkers, what is the high line? Describe it. It's an old elevated subway line. Well, obviously, it's not subway if it's elevated. It's an elevated train line that has been, you know, converted. It has been landscaped and converted into

a trail you can walk with beautiful like plants all around and you get sort of elevated views of that part of the city. Not that elevated because, you know, it's a train. You're like 20 feet up, yeah. Yeah. They're decommissioning that fucking giant pigeon though.

My youngest child, Frankie, loves pigeons. And when I go to New York City always demands that I name a few pigeons and send back pictures of the pigeons that I've named. That's fun. And Frankie is not impressed by anything that I ever do, but was so impressed when I met the giant fiberglass pigeon

that is on one part of the high line. There was like a 12-foot-tall pigeon sculpture. And I just found out that pigeon sculpture is being taken down. It was a temporary pigeon sculpture. Thanks, Mom Donnie. I would say also, though, don't bother with going up in the Empire State Building. it is expensive and you know once you're up there it's like

it's okay. King Kong grabs you. Yeah. Waves you around. You get a pretty good view of the helicopters though. Yeah. Yeah, I mean they'd be like, you know,

biplanes. Oh yeah, by planes that are buzzing past. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Maybe it's helicopters in like the 90s King Kong, you know. I'm talking about 70s King Kong probably. Yeah. Are they?

I guess they probably are like a person. I don't remember. It's been so long since I saw the 70s King Kong. I'll say this is also like kind of like an insider New Yorkers tip. You wouldn't know about it unless you're from New York. They have this art museum called the Metropolitan Museum of Art. That's a good art there.

Only New Yorkers know about that place, though. I hadn't been to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, probably since I was a kid or something. And two New York trips ago, I went to the Met with my friend Mario. We had a fucking blast. It's a great museum. I was like, this museum whips ass. No wonder. It's the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

It's a great museum. You want to see John Singer Sargent's. They got a whole room. John Singer Sargent's. They got everything there. You know what? I haven't had an orgasm in 17 years because I can only come if there's John Singer Sargent's in the room. Hold on.

All this talk of John Singer Sargent's got me thinking, boys trip. Hey, Boneyard, baby. Okay, let's do this. Let's take a minute, plan our boys trip, and then come back for some. of more. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. La La La La La La La La La La It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheartedly. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

Stuart Wellington, handsome drifter. Dan McCoy, Brooklyn's only bearded man. And we're in the cutest whittled bulb in the carriage patch. You're becoming widow and widow. I keep getting widower. Cuda for out the episode. Is someone Benjamin Bartonning how we have the two-whip?

Yeah. This is how I'm going to talk for the west of my wife. Oh, wow. The west of his wife. I'd like to go east of your wife, if you know what I mean. I don't. I don't know if that was insulting or sexual. I don't know what it means.

Elliot, I don't know either. I'm just saying. things on a podcast. That's what is you say things. I have a question for you guys, and take it in any order you please. What does it mean to you to be part of maximum fun

and to be directly supported by members of maximum fund? You said taking it whatever order you please and you looked right at me. So I'm going to go first. They're inside a computer. Help us. Help us. Help us. Well, I'm IRL. Yeah. They have have no Maldiobos scream when I'm right here. So I, what it means is kind of a lot of what you

were talking about earlier, that to be supported by MaxFund members means that we know there are people who listen to and appreciate what we're doing. And it gives us the freedom to do it without worrying that someone's going to come along and say, you can't do this anymore, or here's what you have to do now. Something that has always been important to me about the flop housing is even more so now is that we really don't need anyone to. permission to do it and that the membership support is what gives us that financial permission to have the creative permission where we don't have to worry about someone saying, oh, well, this is what the show is about now. Or this show is successful, but it's not successful enough,

so you're going to stop doing it. And that we can, there's a, you know, we do, uh, outside of the regular podcast, uh, we do a thing called flop TV, which is a, uh, video online thing. And it means a lot to me that Dan and Stewart and I could say, why don't we try to do this thing? And we don't have to send it through a ton of different committees and layers of bureaucracy. And for someone to finally say, no, we don't want to commit any resources to that. And it's because of our member support that we can do that, that we can try new things. And we can also keep doing the same thing in the way that our members seem to enjoy it. We're getting the permission from the members to keep making the show that we want to make. I mean, I have to say, like, when I talk to a

director on Bullseye. The thing they say is directing the movie is easy. Getting to direct the movie is hard. That even the most successful directors spend years trying to get someone to let them make a movie that they want to make, going to fucking dinner parties with rich people at them or whatever. that like the work of direct, just like sort of they say the work of touring is the, you do the shows for free and you get paid to get on the bus. Like the work of making many creative projects is about the years you have to spend trying to beg people with money to let you use it to make something. And it is really special that at maximum fun, we spend, you know, this two weeks a year asking listeners to pay for the these shows. And when listeners come through for us at maximum fund.org slash join, we spend our energy making the stuff. Indeed, part of the point of maximum fund is that maximum fund supports us

as a network, this worker-owned cooperative company, supports us as a network with all the things that aren't the creative parts of making the podcast. So that we really spend our creative energy doing stuff to make our shows better. What about for you, Stu? What does it mean for you? Well, I mean, one of the big things of the member support has been just allowing us to prioritize doing the show. I have a very complicated life, running multiple businesses.

And when, like, for instance, when Elliott moved to L.A., having member support encouraged us to, you know, like, you know what, even though it's going to be a challenge, let's keep doing the show, even if it requires us to do it over Zoom, if we have to manage schedules, manage it with Elliott's work schedule and Stewart's work schedule and dance work schedule. And then when the pandemic hit, we started doing a weekly release schedule. So we further committed, and we're only able to do that because members seem to like it and they're showing us with their money. What about for you, Jordan? It just means a lot to me that we can make these shows like we want to make them,

Like we can book who we want to as guests. We don't have to run it by a ton of people. And on Jordan, Jessica, we like to pay our guests too, which is something nice that we've been doing with that member support.

You know, the last time I was on the flop house, we made a bunch of jokes about the character select music in Marvel versus Capcom too. Now, it's a narrow group of people who would enjoy this joke.

You're not going to get that on Abbott Elementary. Thank you. You're not going to take you for a ride. We're not going to... They did do a whole episode about that on Tracker, though. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Well, Tracker is pretty niche. Tracker's pretty niche, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I mean, I think we're all, like, we're all weird men with weird interests, and I like that we are not trying to make something for four quadrants of people. We get to make something for other weirdos who like the stuff that we like, and I like that the shows don't need a million listeners to stick around. I think there are a lot of shows and things made by big companies where you just need a million people to listen to it or watch it or stream it or whatever or it doesn't make sense to make it.

And I think in that case you cannot make jokes about the character select music from Marvel versus Capcom too. You have to make jokes about normal things or how there's oat milk in lattes now. What? Yeah, I know. So I like that we can do these shows and make this. the jokes we want to make. And, you know, if it's just a couple of hundred or a couple thousand sickos who laugh at it, that's fine and it's cool and we can make these shows.

And like, and I think Stu, the stuff you said about like being able to continue the shows, even though it kind of doesn't make sense to continue them is really like is a great point. I think that like sometimes you see grousing when we do the pledge drive about like, why do they need money? It's not hard to make a podcast. Like, it's not hard to make an episode of a podcast, but, like, it's hard to consistently make a podcast. You have to plan it into your life.

And once you have kids and other things, like, I mean, I don't have kids. I got to get a son. I'm working on it. He's working on it. I'm working on it, everybody. Hold on. I think the website just broke. Too many people logged on.

Start mailing checks. Start mailing checks. Yeah, that people can make this podcast part of their lives. I think both of our shows come out on the same day every week. You know, maybe one or two breaks a year, but like basically every week. And yeah, and I think with member support, you can make sure the shows stay consistent. You can make sure they keep coming. And you can make sure they come out even though, you know, we're not getting smart list numbers over here.

And I, you know, obviously, I don't know if it's embarrassing to you guys to say we're not doing smartless numbers, but I'll go ahead and say it. We're not doing smartless numbers. One of the things that's exciting is what you guys have kept talking about. I know Dan hasn't had the chance to answer, so I don't interrupt. But that the, that, uh, we're like, I don't want to hear from Dan. Like you guys have said, we don't have to do smartless numbers. And in that, in a traditional entertainment ecosystem, which no longer exists, but even, but still runs by similar laws. And when it did exist, it's not just that you have to have something that, in theory,

you get millions of people. You have to get something that appeals to the one or two people at the company that is giving you money that they might understand or like it. And it means that occasionally it is a barrier to more interesting things, more niche things, new ideas, sillier ideas to get into the world, to get into existence because it doesn't pass the test of the person who happens to have the job of giving out money understanding it. And this support means we no longer have to rely only on entertainment that can be understood by a person whose job is to look at the numbers of a, you know, of television viewership or ad rates or things like that and understand, oh, I get this show. They should, their, their taste should not be the only one that gets to come into the world.

Ellie, I'm glad you mentioned this. And Dan, we might let you talk in a second. But I want to say. This is just like our podcast. We know what Dan talking. In the case of Jordan Jesse Go, not only do we not have to convince some executive to like the show, not only do we have to find an executive who understands and likes the show. In our case, literally no one knows why someone would like our show. It's completely inexplicable.

It is literally impossible to explain to someone why anyone would want to listen to this program. and the fact that it still exists is a testament to our members who presumably have had broken iPods that can only download one show or that kind of thing and sort of got used to whatever it is that we do. We're listening to it out of spite or some sort of masochism. Yeah, exactly. What about you, Dan? I mean, look, my other co-hosts at this point are fortunate enough to sort of have other jobs as well. but that's not always been the case. Like we've all been through our times where, like, you know, Elliot, during the strike in particular with me, could not work and has had periods of non-work for other reasons.

Stuart during COVID, you know, people weren't going to bars during COVID for reasons we can all understand. And, you know, right now. Cowardess. I mean, that's why I moved to Florida briefly. it's been my turn to not really have much else going on despite my best efforts and the podcast is a is a lifeline during this and the drive lets it keep going like it's it's hard to do entertainment right now for all sorts of reasons of consolidation uh shitty anti worker politics uh you know like even if you do have things uh the government is like pressuring

people to say certain stuff, being an independent media organization is really nice. And, you know, God knows I'm in a privileged position to be able to do this podcast and contribute to the household through that. But, and if I had to, I would go out and get a more normal job. But, you know, I have spent my life. building up the skills of doing broadcasting, doing comedy, writing, all these things. It would be nice to think that we lived in a world where you could still do those things.

And Maximum Fun helps make that possible. I got to say this. Max Fun became a worker-owned cooperative a couple years ago. I am no longer the owner of Max Fun. Ding, Dong, the witch is dead. I'm not even on the world. I'm not even on it. Let it now.

Toss him in the bone yard. I knew there was a reason I wore these striped leggings. His feet are curling up. I am no longer the owner of Max Fun, but, you know, I still own my shows. Jordan and I own Jordan Jesse Go. John and I own Judge John Hodgman. I own Bullseye. And I still work with the board here at Max Fun.

I have an eye always on how the internet media business is developing. and over the past five, eight years, we've had a sort of quickening pace of the crushing of independent media on the internet. It has become more and more and more and more difficult to make independent media on the internet. And the reason simply is that there are huge tech companies who have very highly skilled engineers whose goal is to run your entertainment time like it was a casino. Like to not have any windows to the outside world,

to have direct lines to your dopamine, that they are A, B, testing, and to make an economy where even if you do choose to connect to your favorite creators on social media, it is an economy where those creators are punished if they try and take you out of those social media infrastructures, right? If I post a link, if we posted a link to the new Jordan Jesse Go episode on a Facebook post, that guarantees that no one will see it unless we are paying for people to see it. And even if we did find audience through those platforms, which, you know, we are forced

to work very hard to do, that money is not really going to us. That money is generally going to those platforms. Those platforms are very good at keeping the money rather than letting the creators have it. And so we are clinging to this form in podcasting that is still based on one of the last open standards on the internet. RSS feeds, the technology that underpins podcast, one of the last open things on the entire internet. But we have to fight every day to make some room in people's lives for what if you listen to a thing that was an hour long that you chose to listen to rather than having it

served to you by an algorithm that's only goal is to get you upset, you know, so that you'll stick around. And that's tough sledding. That is tougher sledding than it's ever been. I've been doing this 20 years. It is tougher sledding than it has ever been. And what that means really is that we have to rely more than ever on you who are listening right now. And that's why we're asking you to become members of Maximum Fun, because we are working so hard to hold up this corner of the independent internet. And, you know, this is a corner of the independent internet where we're mostly doing dumb stuff. like the most high-minded thing we're doing at maximum fun is, you know, interviewing artists on bullseye and feeling scene and stuff, you know. And the dumbest stuff is what we do on the flop house.

Yeah, the flop house in Jordan Jesse Gore. Talk about crap and be silly. Yeah, absolutely dumbest shows on the network. These Chinese might be the dumbest shows. Yeah, we're even dumber than the McElroy's. I mean, no offense to the McElroy's, but we're dumber enough. They're just not dumb enough. No.

Dumber. Scoop. But I do think that the shit that we do, even the dumbest shit that we do, even the dumbest shit that we do has real value. I mean, I talked about if you're out there and you're one of the many people who feels anxious about the world and find some comfort in what we do, I know, like, I can very sincerely, directly say because you guys are here, that that is something that means a lot to me in my life about the flop house, that I have a lot of anxiety from the outside world, you know, from the government and its relationship to my family right now, and the government and

its relationship to what's going on in my neighborhood right now and people I care about, that causes a lot of anxiety. And when I am feeling upset, I listen to the flop house. I mean, I'm, you can see here on my phone, uh, there are some podcasts about the San Francisco giants. And then there is the flop house. Elia, can you confirm? Jesse listens to the flop house? Yeah. I mean, I can't confirm you didn't just add that. Okay. While I was talking, I spoke pretty eloquently for a guy. You've got decades in radio.

But I have a similar relationship with Jordan Jesse Go. There are times when I'm like, I need to shut myself away from the things that are stressing me and that are making me worried and listen to be in this kind of space where it's friends being dumb. You know, like friends just having fun being dumb. And it is a, yeah, it's a really important thing for me in the same way. So really value the show. My hope is that if you value that in your life, and if you think that there should still be room on the internet for people to make things independently that are really owned by their creators, where the people who support them are the ones keeping the work, not the people who provided the capital, I hope that you'll go to maximum fund.org slash join and join, upgrade your membership, make your voice heard that this shit is worth existing in the world because somebody else ain't going to do it for you. So we need you to do it. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go.

It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio, sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Stuart Wellington, handsome drifter. Dan McCoy, Brooklyn's only bearded man. I've had to be breastfeeding Elliot Cahlin during the break now. He's gotten so young he can no longer eat solid food. No, I'm just so glad that they drew that new ariola on you so I could paint mine where to latch.

Can I tell you guys a secret? So I usually listen to every flop house when it comes out. I am that guy with the flop house. You're a devotee. You're a day ever. I'm a passionate. I'm a very passionate flop house listener. Jordan was on the flop house recently, and that is still sitting on my podcast player,

unlisted to. this is the reason it is not because I don't want to hear my friend Jordan that's the reason why my wife doesn't listen to Jordan Desicose as she said to me once I've heard you guys talk this is the exact same thing that my wife says

I go do you want to listen to Flav House she goes I can hear that when I want anytime I don't hear it right now yeah we haven't been around for years no but the memories are still burned into her brain of our amazing banter yeah yeah it's still a recurring dream Like other people dream that they have to make a presentation in class, but they're not wearing any pants.

Danielle dreams that she has to listen to you guys talk. Anyway, I have been saving that because I know there is going to be a day where I need to have my four favorite friends to be my friends. And so it is like my nuclear option for sad day. However, because I have not yet heard it, I want to know what movies. the four of you guys watched together? Because this is not that old of an episode. This is a month or two ago. Yeah.

What is the movie that you guys watched together? It has a very generic casino. High rollers? Is it? High rollers? High rollers. I was getting confused because we watched, it's a sequel to a movie that none of us have seen called Cash Out.

We did not realize it was a sequel when we started watching it. This is, yeah, Jordan, tell us about this. tell us about this movie. Sure. I think this is a genre. I think maybe we could all refer to as Travolta Slop. John Travolta in recent years is kind of doing what maybe Nicholas Cage did in the early 2000s, which is just be in any movie.

Yeah. And they seem like movies that aren't for release, but something to show at an office Christmas party. Yeah. That's about the quality of I roll. It's like a cameo of a movie. Exactly. Me's my quote.

and I will be there. There's a certain bar mitzvah video feel to it, where it's like the family made like a parody video to show at the bar mitzvah. You know what? Instead of a bar mitzvah video of John Travolta, I would like to see bar mitzvah caricatures of John Travolta where he's riding a skateboard and chasing girls with hearts for eyes.

But you know he's going to be dancing in that white suit. Oh, yeah, that famous white suit. I don't know. I think he's more known for his skateboarding, Elliot. That's right. I forgot that John DeVolda did start in gleaming the cube. Is he completely given up on his like weird wig lifestyle? Because for a long time he was pretending he was not bald.

And this one he is extremely bald. And he's wearing, he has a beard which accentuates his baldness. Yeah. Yeah. And the... It looks like every guy who comes up to talk to me at the gym. I mean, it's,

it's one of those beards that in my imagination, it goes straight from like mid-level of the head all the way down the the neck as if he's trying to convince you, no, your heads on backwards. I have my hair in the right place. It looks like he has glued steel wool to himself. In this one, he's the leader of a group of amazing thieves, one of the FBI's most

wanted list, and they've got to rob a casino during a big, high-stakes private poker game. I'm not going to lie. So far, this sounds like a great movie. I'm on board for John Travolta leading a group of amazing thieves to rob a casino. I think we all had a good time. I don't want to spoil anything, but I think that, like, in terms of

enjoyment of movies that we've watched on the podcast, cast we all pretty much like had a blasts. If you want to see a movie, if you want to see a movie where John Travolton is crew, they're being chased by the feds, uh, they're at a hotel, they reach the pool, they jump in the pool and the feds stop at the edge of the pool as if, well, we have no jurisdiction in pools. Nothing we can do now. And Trovolta just seemed to get away. And I believe that, you know, mild, mild spoilers ahead for high rollers, but that, you know, They plan this elaborate heist that involves, like, you know, them all having, you know, these alternate identities and entering this, like, high stakes poker game. And, you know, so they have this plan.

It goes awry. And so John Travolta improvises his way out of the situation by flicking the lights off, grabbing the thing they're there to get and running out the door. He just turns off the lights and grabs it. It's amazing. This is, there's actually, it's a pretty fun movie. There's a, they're incredible heist. Their multi-stage heist involves one member of the group wearing the cheapest wigs I've ever seen in a movie. Terrible.

And another member of the group just putting on a fireworks display outside the hotel so that at a certain moment, a hotel casino, that a certain point the bad guys can be distracted by the fireworks. Wait, so he's the pyrotechnics specialist on the heist team, but he just specializes in like fireworks displays. He just as fireworks, yeah. There's one member of the team where we couldn't figure out why he was on the team When he's not doing he just works at minor league baseball stadiums.

Yeah, exactly. And also the, like, it's supposed to look like, you know, an exotic playground for the rich and famous, the hotel casino, it's supposed to be like, oh, you know,

the top one percent of the richest of the world go here. It just looks like an airport Hilton. Yeah. It looks like a pretty nice Hilton you would stay at. Yeah, it's not that. It's not gross.

It's not bad. No, it's not a bad. And in movie continuity, this wealthy Babylon for the rich, this, this, you know, this, this, this, this, this, this, sin citadel is right next to and connected via ducks with a shrimp factory. The guy is a shrimp magnate. The big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the casino is a shrimp magnate, yeah. So it's a, yeah, that's a good episode. That's a funny one side, there's a shrimp factory. On the other side, there's a steak factory.

You can have a little surf and turf and get they meet in the middle. The casino, yeah, $9.95. Can't beat that price. Oh, yeah, that's a great price. I feel like there's any Jordan Jesse Go listeners out there who have not listened to the flop house yet.

First of all, you're making a horrible mistake in your life. Second of all, what a place to start. Your friend Jordan going on the flop house. The things that I love about the flop house are, number one, you are all the funniest guys and all the best guys. That's the number one reason.

I love the flop house. But I also love the generous and caring attitude that you show towards some of the shittiest movies in existence. Because you have all this show business experience and you know that making a movie is so fucking hard. And usually it fails. And it's not everyone's fault. And lots of great people work on terrible things. And so you are able to talk about how shitty and awful something is, unless it's like racist or something, you're able to talk about how shitty and awful something is with a kind of bon-homie, a kind of fond regard for show business and its failures that speaks to what kind of decent fellows you are. Thank you.

I think that's something we've developed over time. And speaks to your ability to work in show business in the future. There are many times when I'm about to go into a meeting and I look at the posters on the wall and I'm like, oh no, we did like three of these. Oh, no. But luckily, because we are members supported on maximum fun, most people do not know this show exists and it does not cause that much trouble for us. It's the exact level of fame that is convenient. It really, can I just say the level of fame that we have achieved hosting our respective podcasts, the perfect level of fame. It is the level of fame.

where if someone is coming up to you and you see that they recognized you, you never have to be worried that they're mad at you. Even I was once, I was getting on a plane once, and a guy walked up from me, goes, are you, L.A. Kaelin? I go, yeah, and he goes, oh, I love your podcast, even when you're talking about movies I made. And I was like, um, uh, uh, and it turned it to be a producer who was very nice, very often. And then we ended up doing another one of his movies later, uh, by accident. But, uh, but even then it was like, there was no hard field. Yeah, we did it by accident.

I mean, we didn't know it was another one. We tripped and fell on his movie. I mean, he also and the second time is a movie that I know Stewart was a big fan of, so that helped too. Mafia Mama. Yeah, the greatest movie.

Well, guys, it's been a joy to have you here. This is our final chance to let people know. This is the very end of the Max Fun Drive. If you're listening to this, look, maybe you're going to tune in on Friday evening for the Max Fun Drive finale show that Jordan is going to be in that John Hodge and I are hosting.

And we do encourage you to do that because it's going to be a lot of fun. And we're also doing a stream earlier that day on the MaxFund channel. Yeah. Well, there you go. So go to Maximumfund.org slash events and check out all those streams. However, given one opportunity to ask people to join, what will you say to them? What is your briefest, tightest, most beautiful pitch to ask people to join Maximum Fun? You know, capitalism makes us think, like, you know, capitalism makes us think, like, you know,

Like you got to pay for something and get something. Here it's a very kind thing. We've given you something. If you like it, maybe it's worth supporting it. Hey, a lot of cool people put a lot of effort into making these fun shows and we put it out 100% for free. Why don't you support this cool stuff? For $5 a month, minimum, you can stick your thumb in the eye of AI slop corporate tech media crap. That's all those punks out there.

Taste thumb with your eyeball. Tell those, tell those, tell those big companies that want to decide what you like, take them to the bone yard. You're Jack Horner and they're a pie. Pull a plum out of that fucker. That's what punk's like. I love plums. Yeah, one more time. Maximumfund.org slash join.

Support Jordan, Jessica. Support the flop house. Get a bunch of cool stuff. And that's all. Jordan Cowling is our producer. on the program. Gabe Mara on the boards this week. Our theme music is Love You by the Free Design,

courtesy of the free design and light in the attic records. And guess who we love? We love you. All of you out there who are members of Maximum Fun, you mean the world to us. Thanks for making it possible for us to do our work. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you.

Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Maximum Fun. A Worker-owned Network of Artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.