Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Cheese Type Thing, with Dave Schilling

Episode Date: January 9, 2025

On this week’s episode, we welcome back writer and comedian, Dave Schilling, to chat about Aerosmith, Chicago winters, the latest capybara updates, and so much more.Want your Capybara roasted? Send to our Instagram!#RoastMyCapyJustice for migrants. Please consider donating to Al Otro Lado this holiday season.Jordan is writing an official Spider-Man comic!Be sure to get our new 'Ack Tuah' shirt in the Max Fun store.Or, grab an 'Ack Tuah' mug!The Maximum Fun Bookshop!Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes!Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On.Go see Free With Ads and Judge John Hodgman LIVE at SF Sketchfest!Come see Judge John Hodgman: Road Court  live in a town near you! Jesse and John will be all over the country so don't miss your change to see them. Check the events page to find out where!Follow brand new producer, Steven Ray Morris, on Instagram.Listen to See Jurassic Right!

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. So, in the spirit of the holidays, I thought I would share what's been happening at my house.

I'd love to hear that. My mother-in-law is visiting and she brought a... Mother-in-law. I love them. They're great. I know. Oh, I love it when they hit me with a frying pan. What a wonderful member of the family. I love how they nag. My mother-in-law... That's our thing here. We love mother-in-law. Yeah. Yeah. My mother-in-law, Beth, she thing here. We love mothers-in-law. Yeah. Yeah.

My mother-in-law, Beth, she's wonderful. I've heard Beth is amazing. Beth is just the best. I hope to meet Beth someday. Beth is so great. So grateful to have her in my house. She brought with her, because it's the holiday season, she brought with her a gingerbread house construction kit.

Fun, fun holiday activity. her a gingerbread house construction kit. Fun, fun holiday activity. So this is icing, this is sheets of gingerbread printed with house parts. Gumdrops maybe? Gumdrops stick on the roof? And those little like sugar balls that will hurt you if you bite them. And there were five little buildings and so I have three children so my wife and I and each of my three children put together a

little tiny gingerbread house. And everything worked out great and you had fun. Yeah so everything was perfect there was no problem and that's the end of the story. First of all, this is a nightmare for me. So this is the first thing that I want to cover before I get into a cute thing that happened. I just want to say this things I am bad at. Sure, sure, sure. And I am bad at making stuff. Crafty stuff. Anything that's supposed to look nice or that I have to pay attention to while I do it.

Why are you doing a boob honking motion with your hands? I could have just not said it, but it stuck out to me. I don't know, this is more of a... If I'm honking anything, it's like a cow's teats. Oh, okay, sure. It's pointed upward. You know, I guess it is more of a testicle fondling. Yeah.

Giant wide testicles. Exactly. So Jesse, why are you fondling those balls while you're talking about your gingerbread house? So the gingerbread house, like... I'm kind of with you on this. I was like, this is like never something I've excelled at. I would like feel bad if it didn't look like the picture. I would feel bad.

People would make fun of me. Yeah, I would have a hard time like putting that away and just like having a good time. Yeah, I can't deal with that. However, as it turns out, my daughter Scarlett does not have this problem. So I was working when they did their portions. So I sat down to do mine and there were four already settled. Right. My wife- You kind of know where the bar is though. I could see how that would be kind of comforting

You're like, okay if I do like as good as this. Yeah, I don't look like a fucking bozo My wife had made one that was really quite lovely as my wife told me at dinner tonight She said I am good at meeting expectations Is Teresa crafty? She's not crafty, but she can draw. She's not like an extraordinary, she has such a high level of skill at drawing for someone for whom drawing is not their hobby. Okay.

Like she can just draw nice things if she's careful and pays attention. I cannot be careful or pay attention. So, she did a beautiful job. Hers really looked lovely. Like she's not somebody that- All the fixtures worked, all the plumbing. Exactly. She's not the kind of person-

Central AC in the gingerbread house? Who has different kinds of decorative scissors, you know, the different crink, one's wavy and one's jaggedy. Why are you making a boob honking motion? No, that's a scissor motion. This is a dick cutting off motion. Right, yes. Okay.

And I don't have to mention your hand motion. This is me bopping. I am. So I saw that one. Yeah. My daughter, Grace, age 13, had made a genuinely impressive one. Really? OK. Grace usually, I was surprised even that she began anything that was not her special interest.

I was going to say, given Grace's interests, were the gingerbread men decapitating each other? I know. And pulling out little gumdrop organs? I would have expected that the theme of the gingerbread house would be the theme of my life right now, which is Grace watching all of the children of the corn movies in one day. Okay.

There's seven, by the way. There's more than seven. There's a couple remakes. Okay. Well, I, by the way. There's more than seven. There's a couple remakes. Okay. Well, I think she watched seven. Okay. I noticed Eva Mendes in one. Oh, really?

Oh, it's nice to see her beautiful face. Of course. You know, she touched my knee once. Yeah, I've heard. Linda Hamilton in the first one. Speaking of people you like to see in poppin'. But she's never touched my knee. Sure.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'll only bring up people who have touched your knee. Thank you. So Grace had done a- So Clint Howard is in one. Yeah. I don't. I'll only bring up people who have touched your knee. Thank you. So Grace had done a- So Clint Howard is in one. Yeah. I don't know that he is. Grace had done a very nice job with hers.

Right. No horror. No horror. Frankie, my youngest child, had made an impressively coherent abstract version. Which is to say, it was broken into various pieces and they were reconnected in unusual ways, but it nonetheless took the form of a home. It was sort of pomo. It was a very Disney animation headquarters type building. You know this building in Burbank,

it's got a Mickey Mouse hat on it. Right. Yeah, it's that kind of thing. That but gingerbread. So that leaves my child Scarlett. Scarlett is 11 years old. And on Scarlett's tray, maybe these are lunch trays, on Scarlett's tray was all of the different pieces of her gingerbread house slightly crookedly slabbed together into a pile that then had each with each of them cemented to the others with frosting. So if you imagine like a pile of wood at a construction site, that's sort of what it looked like. Or like it had been piled in the back of a pickup truck, but then the pickup truck had

driven around a little bit, so it had gone around and different. But it was, as I said, it was like Masonry together. So it was a solid block, roughly. What are we looking at? About six inches high, five, six inches high somewhere in that neighborhood. Looked a little bit like a pyramid, like a Central American pyramid, like an Aztec pyramid. Right. Ziggurat? Could have been a ziggurat, sure. And ramekin, I don't know.

And it did have some frosting and candy on the outside as well. And I'm just looking at this thinking like, what the fuck is this supposed to be? A lot of effort was put into this weird thing. And I was sitting down at the table, it was dinner time, and Scarlett came to sit down for dinner. I said, Scarlett came to sit down for dinner I said Scarlett I saw your gingerbread house and she says yeah it's the ultimate summer vacation home bring a tent go swimming go fishing you'll have a great time. Wow.

Okay. So I guess her idea is that as long as you bring a tent. You're fine, you don't need a home. You don't need, and then Jordan, she picked it up and ate it like a sandwich. Beautiful. Should all the quaintance we've forgot, make sure you bring a tent. She said, you'll have a great time. Have a great time.

You'll have a great time. Amazing. Bring a tent, go fishing, go swimming. How did yours turn out? Well, mine had already been a little broken by the time it appeared to me. And when I pulled it out of the package, one of the broken pieces fell on the ground

and my dog ate it immediately. I mean, a lot of funny stuff happened, a lot of cute funny stuff funny stuff happening a lot of cute funny stuff happening over there at the Thornhouse. So I tried to put it together without four walls and we're with three and a half walls basically. You can see that where's my fourth wall I guess Deadpool was here. I know exactly. Probably why the fourth wall is broken. It's probably because of- Deadpool.

This guy is always making remarks. Or She-Hulk. A lot of folks can break down that fourth wall. But I... It was so hard, Jordan. I bet. I don't like crafts either. Because if I hadn't done it, I would have hated Christmas.

To my children, I would have ruined Christmas for everyone. You know, I'm sure a lot of things, being a father probably, I mean, I wouldn't know. I don't have a son. I gotta get a son. I'm working on it. Hold on. I gotta check. I already did it.

Hold on. I already did it. Hey, Stephen. Oh boy. Stephen Ray Morris, sorry for the noise. Can you run a check on something real quick? Sure, anything. Does Jordan have a son? I already said I don't.

I already said I don't. I already said I don't. He doesn't have to check anything. I'm saying I don't. What calculations are you? What are you running? What are you looking at? Jordan, you should get a son.

I'm working on it! Okay. Anyway. I imagine a big part of being a parent is, you know, for the sake of the kids, for the fun of the kids, you do something you maybe wouldn't do on your own. I bet there's a lot of that. One year at my wife's family's house at Christmas,

it was before we had children. We had had sex by then, but unproductively. 05.00 Just wasteful sex. Wasteful, selfish sex. 05.00 And we were at my in-laws' condominium in Mill Valley, California. And my father-in-law's sister was there. 05.00 I love father-in-laws. 05.00 With her children. With her wonderful children.

One of whom's Sarah Rogers, you know from our college radio days, from our days at KZSC. And they're all great, love them all. And Aunt Lorette brought out a guitar and said we were going to sing Christmas carols. Yep. And you know what I did? I just left. I couldn't bear it. Walked out into the woods.

I couldn't bear it. I just, and this is Mill Valley. There's nowhere to go. This is not a city. Sure. We were in a condo development on the side of a hill. I just walked off the hill. Wow.

And it was a genuine emotional crisis. I believe it. It wasn't me being like, fuck these people. It was like, I can't do this. I can't be here. Sure. What do you do when you can't be here? You walk out the door.

I didn't have a car. I excused myself. That was your first family. The family you have now car. I excused myself. So that was your first family. The family you have now is a new family? Exactly. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Let's introduce our guest on the program because thank God he got the memorandum about the fact that we have asked everyone, given that it is the holiday season, to come to this, our holiday party, in black tie thank you dave shilling hello it's good to be back on a prairie home companion i love this show when are we singing the hymnal yeah it's going to be all

him yeah robin and linda williams are here Lutheran's speaking of music you were talking about honking yes sorry jordan. Sorry Jordan. I think things about about Lutheran You're mentioned honking. Yeah, and I thought I was my favorite Aerosmith album, which is honking on Bobo That's interest. Yes. Should we go on? Uh, you know, I don't know Aerosmith well enough to know what songs appear on what albums Was there a hit on honking on Bobo that I might know? I have no idea, but I do know that the album is called Honkin' on Bobo.

That is a funny name. And I believe that it is a euphemism for fellatio. Is it? I think so. So a Bobo is a... I think it's a ding-a-dong. A ding-a-dong, a big wiener. Aerosmith.

Ding-dang-dong for Eryzaka. Aerosmith, traditionally very chaste right as you know Never talk about sex now and so this was a certainly would never make love in an elevator Absolutely, not no that's that's a public place when I went to see Aerosmith at the age of 12 12 years old with Gabe Zitrin and Gabe's dad Richard had honking on Bobo come out by then This was p conking on Bobo

This was I mean, I don't know if you remember this but do you remember h Ross Perot Yes running for president. All he could talk about was honking on Bobo Deficit America is going was honking on Bobo. That's the deficit. America is going to honk on Bobo starting in 1992. Now, I'm a businessman. That's why I know how to honk on Bobo. Let me tell you what, they're talking about a penis. Bill Clinton, obviously. Who does the better role?

Stephen Ray Morris, can you clip those H. Ross Perot impressions and send those to the Peabody Awards, please? They're looking for more content Send them right to the capital steps. Yes, January 6th. They're gonna release this Talking about the singing group that appears on PBS Charge the capital they were they were Although we were gonna charge the capital. Yeah, they were they were at January's Sorry who wasn't yeah, it was like our Woodstock was it not

Oh you're not a patriot Now it's not the time to be saying this stuff. No, you're right. You're right. Anyway, Mark Russell couldn't be there on account of being dead right? Capital steps had to fill in Dave you like let you were at various parties Yes, I was at three before this and so you would you consider this the wait? Hold on I have to say the thing about Aerosmith. Oh, yeah, when we were at the Aerosmith concert Someone started blazing a J. Yeah, and Richard Zittrain yelled at them That's Gabe Zitrin's dad Richard's a fucking NARC. My mom also did this we were at a reggae concert in In Fresno, okay, okay, and that I think is illegal now in Fresno, but at the time you could do it

It's the only place in California where reggae is illegal At the time, you could do it. It's the only place in California where reggae is illegal. Where reggae is illegal, yeah. Exactly, but it's like the Footloose Town for black music. It's medicinal. You have a note from your doctor, you can get some reggae. And she was like, is that reefer? Someone's smoking behind me, and I'm like, mom, I'm 12,

and this is still embarrassing to me. Why would you say this to this man? He's just trying to have a good time. Never, if you're a parent, I'm a parent, you're a parent, you're not, apparently. Steven looked it up, he parent. I'm a parent. You're a parent. You're not apparently Stephen looked it up He said nope. No the sperm does not work and That's what I heard in my cans Jism and

Even you didn't tell me that's why you needed that come in a cup you were testing my sperm I was trying to keep it a secret, Dave, come on. My bad, I'm sorry, I didn't know that this was private information. Anyway. It's gonna be like a Morrie reveal, you're gonna let me know I'm sterile halfway through the show.

He's not the father of anyone. He can't, cannot be. It's literally physically impossible. And then I dance. When you're a dad, you can't narc people out. Oh yeah. Even if your kid's like a kid, cause they'll be like, oh, dad's not cool.

I'm seven, but dad's not cool. Yeah. Cause he just said that guy shouldn't smoke weed. Always let people smoke weed around their children. I couldn't agree more. It's important. Thank you. Just let them do it, it's fine.

Okay, you don't have to name names here. Okay. Obviously, you were going to insiders parties, like- Cool people. Hollywood insiders parties. Top dogs. Dave, I would call you- Rob Schneider had a party, I was there.

Let's see, Dean Cain at the event, which was really nice. Dean Cain is on every bus in Los Angeles. What, really? Oh, he lives on the bus. No, he's- He gets off and he lives on the bus. No, he's... He gets off and he gets on the next one. He's always moving buses. We can't say forever.

Every bus advertisement on the side of a bus in LA is for the Hollywood Christmas Parade. Which is apparently hosted by Dean Cain. I thought it was Eric Estrada. No. He's been replaced. I think Eric Estrada does the Malibu Christmas Parade. No thought it was Eric Estrada. No. He's been replaced. I think Eric Estrada does the Malibu Christmas Parade. No, he used to do Hollywood. Oh, I didn't know that.

So maybe he got bumped or maybe he moved up. I don't know what the Parade hierarchy is. The hierarchy of Christmas parades. Yeah, which one is this? It's Dean Cain now, huh? I once saw Eric Estrada eating, of course, the listeners probably know him. This is the Star of chips. I saw him eating dinner at a restaurant, like a cafe style restaurant once. And I lived in Los Angeles for 15 years and have seen

no celebrities that I'm, other than like Andy Daly, other than like someone I know in real life. I have seen no celebrities at all and I Was walking down the street. I saw Erica Strada eating dinner and I thought to myself I know what Erica Strada looks like He's very noticeable I recognize Erica Strada I've never seen chips before This is a time when there weren't a lot of people of color on television Yeah, and he was the one Latino guy on TV.

It was him and that's it. Who else was there? All the people over in, I guess? I don't know. Yeah. So what were the, you obviously know a lot of Hollywood insiders. So I don't want you to have to say Gwyneth's name. What types of parties were you attending?

How would you characterize the parties that you attended today? Well, there were many yoni eggs passed around. And lots of leafy greens. And everyone was very anemic. And that's all that I can really say about the party. You should take iron supplements. They should. We were also at a ski lodge, which was nice.

Are you? Okay, here's a question. Yes. I said you're wearing black tie. Not really. You are literally wearing a black tie. But it's a long tie. It Here's a question. Yes. I said you're wearing black tie. Not really you are literally wearing a black tie Yes, but it's a long tie. It's not a bow. No, and you're wearing boots Yes, so you wouldn't wear boots with the black tie off. No. Yes, and this is not a tuxedo It's not a satin lapel, but it's not a tuxedo. So this is the thing. So Jordan

You'll do Dave Schilling knows about these things. I don't have to explain this to Dave Schilling. You're a hillbilly. Orange County hillbilly. Some of the unusual elements about this suit are it has patch pockets. That would be very unusual for a tuxedo. It has a notch lapel. That would be very unusual for a tuxedo. And it has a two roll three button stance there. Which is very unusual for a tuxedo. And it has a two roll three button stance there.

It does, yeah. Which is very unusual for a tuxedo. More common in a blazer or an Ivy League suit. This is a Tom Brown blazer. Oh, there you go. The three roll two is cool, I guess, but most people wouldn't notice, Jesse. He loves that. Tom Brown loves that. He does. Yeah, he likes an American preppy nod. Well I bought this specifically because it was advertised as oversized and I'm like, oh, so it's a normal-sized jacket. I will be able to wear this. Otherwise I would not buy this.

Nice. Jacket-sized, I see. Oh, cool, adult man. When you entered, you had on also an overcoat and a scarf. I would call the look going to a gala that the Riddler is about to ride. Yes, no, the idea is I'm like escaping from a Raymond Chandler novel. Oh, okay. But I'm the one black guy from a Raymond Chandler novel.

So I'm pressing the elevator buttons for someone. Sure. That's it. So barrowsmith doesn't get in there, huh? Oh, don't honk on my bobo. Not in the elevator, for God's sakes. I think the difference between going to that gala and loading someone's luggage is just a white sign with a name on it.

That's why I always carry a white sign with a name on it in the car. Yeah. It's in case. Very glamorous. Thank you. Dave Schilling is very glamorous. Are you a Christmas celebrator in general, culturally speaking? Did you grow up celebrating Christmas with your family?

I am Jewish. My mother is Jewish, and so we never once in my life celebrated Christmas. And my mother thinks it's a sinful thing, a horrible thing for me to do, but she lets it go. So I purposefully do nothing. This year, I'm going to Chicago with my girlfriend. And we're going to go see her mother and her sister and her other sister and not her dad

because her parents are divorced too so her dad is in Pittsburgh her mother's in Chicago so it's kind of a split family sort of deal it'll be lovely but it's gonna be very cold and that's why I bought boots because I have never experienced true cold in my life. In your life? Well New York I mean I've visited New York for a couple days. Yeah, Chicago Christmas. That's like next level. This is bad.

This is like, it's gonna be 18 degrees at one point. It's gonna snow. For a week, I can't do this. I remember maybe like 10, 15 years ago, I had a show at the Second City in Chicago in February. And I remember going there and I had only ever been to Chicago before in the like springtime or something and thought, God, it's the greatest city in the world. Why doesn't everyone live in Chicago? And I just remember stepping outside

and being like, what? This is a place where humans live? Like, my, everything hurts on me from weather? That's why you have to eat meatballs all the time, to get your blood pressure up to warm your body up enough to survive. They're functional meatballs, you don't enjoy them. No. You just eat them to live. Nobody has fun in Chicago. They're just unsauced, unspiced balls.

So I bought a coat, I bought boots. Check it out. I have to get a hat of some sort to cover my ears because apparently your ears are the thing that really It's cold when you're in Chicago. I'm from California. Just like you you're from California to more California Yeah, oh see okay, so hang loose, dude What are you gonna? Do like how I don't know what this is gonna be like my nose might fall off I don't want that gonna be like my nose might fall off I don't want that that would be awful

I want my nose then you look like a fucking skeleton no where I get it like a metal nose like a cartoon villain oh that would be great if you got a metal nose well then now now he's there to rob the gala yeah now Mr. Metal Nose sure

then you'll really be honking on Bobo yeah that's right Bobo is actually a metal nose. That's what they're talking about What what guys want to do a little honking and then come back for more? Yeah, take a quick break. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan. Jesse go It's Jordan Jesse go Ih. I'm Jessi Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris. Boy detective.

Every single episode of Jordan Jessi Goh is made possible by the members of Maximum Fund. You the listeners of Jordan Jessi Goh who become members of Maximum Fund by going to MaximumFun.org slash join. We thank each and every one of you for Fund by going to MaximumFund.org slash join. We thank each and every one of you for being the lifeblood of this program. We are also supported this week by our friends over at Factor. It's a new year, Jordan, and our listeners may be ready to optimize their nutrition. Oh, you gotta do it. 2025, optimal nutrition. Let's go.

Yeah. Factor meals are chef-made gourmet meals that make eating tasty food that is good for you easy. Dietitian approved, ready to heat and eat in two minutes so you can fuel right and feel great no matter what life throws at you. Factor meals, they are really, really tasty. They are really, really easy. Jesse, how many times does this happen to you?

You're going about your day, hither and yon, errands, emails, just, you know, life's dumping all its life gunk onto you. Hither, yon, thus so. Tell me about it. And then, you know, one o'clock rolls around, you get those rumbles, you're like, I forgot to eat, you don't have anything in the fridge, so you just eat a handful of change.

Yeah, it's so many times it's happened to me. It's constantly happening to me. I literally, I can literally take a light bulb, screw it into my ear, and it lights up because I've made a change battery inside my stomach with the stomach acid and the coins. Because you don't have any easy, easy good food around, so you're just eating what's around.

It's usually change, but if you have that, yeah. Can I say something? So a lot of times, I'll have a bullseye interview at like one o'clock, 1.30. I'll be at home preparing, realize I gotta go into the preparing, realize I got to go into the studio but I got to eat first, okay? I look in the fridge, do I have a factor meal? If I have factor meal, I can just heat it up in two minutes, it's going to be tasty,

it's going to be ready for me. If I don't have a factor meal in the fridge, not only will I often end up eating a handful of change. Often, I find myself eating paper money. If there's no change on hand, I'm eating bills. Or what if I end up eating two twenties or three twenties because I went to the ATM recently, but I don't have any change in my pocket. I'm losing money fast. That's one way that Factor can not only solve your rumblies, but also save you money. Yeah, so listen, save your change for purchases. Eat Factor Meals instead. Here's what you do.

You get started at factormeals.com slash jjgo 50 off and use code jjgo 50 off to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. That's code JJGO50OFF at factormeals.com slash JJGO50OFF to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. We also have something up on the Jumbotron. That's where our listeners can talk to our listeners by going to maximumfund.org slash Jumbotron. A message for Tyler from Samantha.

Tyler, happy 41st birthday, happy first year wedding anniversary, and congratulations on the new job. You rocked 2024, Moopsy. Now let's live long and party. Did you have any doubt, even a moment of doubt, that Moopsy was gonna rock 2024? Jesse, I did. You did?

I did. I have no faith in Moopsy. Wow, well, you feel like a real asshole now. I do, I do. Moopsy showed me. Speaking, by the way, of having faith, so a quick update. Yes.

Quick fucking update on our little charity project. Okay, so if you didn't hear recently, my wife and I decided to put up a $25,000 challenge grant, they call it, to ask people to donate to an organization called Al Otro Lado, who do direct services for migrants at the border, on both sides of the border. Family reunification and bringing refugees to the point of entry and services for people who have been recently deported and people who are in deportation, classes on your legal rights for people who are going to cross the border, so on and so forth. And we put this up thinking, is this going to work? I don't know. In fact, I specifically told the nice woman from Alotrolado, I don't know if this will work.

I said, please do not count on this working. Within like five days, we were up to $25,000 on the precipice of $25,000. And I couldn't believe it. This was something I thought six weeks maybe. Then I get a text message. It's a guy I know wants to remain anonymous. Jordan Jesse Goh listener, by the long time Jordan Jesse Goh listener says to me, my family has noticed that you're about to hit the challenge. We would like to offer a second $25,000 challenge. I'm like, you're shitting me. This person is like, I'm not shitting you. All of a sudden, it's four, five, six days after that,

we're about to hit $50,000. We're about to fulfill both $25,000 challenges. Amazing. Totally amazing. It's so cool. Wait, hold on. Then I get to fulfill both $25,000 challenges. Amazing. Totally amazing. It's so cool. Wait, hold on. Then I get a message on Instagram. Oh my God.

From another listener. Sure. Saying they have a job opportunity. You can text them. This other listener says, our family foundation wants to add a third $25,000 challenge. $75,000 in challenges, Jordan. Guess how many, as of this recording- Okay, what do we got?

Guess how much money has come in from listeners of Judge John Hodgman and Jordan Jesse Goh and folks who follow us on social media. Currently, as of this recording, $89,000. Hey, okay. Way to go. That means we are up to about $165,000. Wild. For El Otro Lado.

You can join in, go to elotrolado.org slash let's do something. We'll also put that in the episode notes for this episode. So you can just click on it if you want to. You can set up a one-time donation, you can set up a recurring donation. It is a really good cause. It's folks that... Their legal director is somebody that Teresa and I used to work with back when we worked in an immigration law firm. Very well respected. And it's the folks that... Like folks who are really serious in the immigration community are like, you want to make direct impact, this is who you do it with. In fact, we had one, you know, they come with,

I've been reading all the little notes that people put when, because you make your donation, you can put a little note. Thank you to everybody who leaves a little note. I love seeing them. But someone told me, my uncle volunteered a couple of years ago with Al Otrulado and came back talking about how unbelievably effective they are. Amazing. Yeah.

So there you go. AlOtrulado.org slash let's do something. It is like beyond my wildest imaginings. I mean, I don't know. You probably figured. I guess your plan probably was just to write the $150,000 check if we needed to. Sure. I had the pen ready.

Yeah. But now you don't need to, so don't worry about it. No, I don't need to. You just make a regular donation, which you did. Sure. And we're all set. Like, unfucking fathomable, right? So cool. Yeah, very cool. Yeah, it's so nice that we have such nice listeners who take this stuff seriously and who want to give back. It's so cool. It was like a shitty depressing time of year for me in general.

And I was so just miscellaneously bummed out. And then like the thing that I did every time I was bummed out was I just opened up that tab in my phone browser and hit refresh and texted my wife, $72 fucking thousand dollars. Pretty cool. $48,000 fucking dollars. Just the greatest.

So thank you everybody. It is so, so cool. It's awesome to be associated with you all. If you haven't joined in, it is five or $10 hits the same. Just fucking $10, $12, whatever you got in your pocket that you can share. Alotrolato.org slash let's do something. I love to see that scroll, scroll on up. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jesse Go. It's Jordan Jesse Doe.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Dave Schilling, the sweetest cheeser. What does that mean? I don't know. I just like cheese and what if it was sweet? Do you like sweet cheese? Yeah, why not?

Like a cream cheese but with like a raisin in it? Yeah, let's give it a shot. You know what? let's do it let's eat it you know what I don't want to eat it I don't like sweet cheeses oh okay well I guess you and I can never be friends oh that's me I do we try we tried I wasn't really trying honestly no okay I was just gonna let it lay I just want being friends moving forward uh-huh we try to move forward. We have a show to do. I think of you as sort of like Jordan's my friend

and I think of you as Jordan's friend. That's better, that's how it should be. We should spend time together. At this point now we really need to close the door. Are you guys gonna be friendly for the remaining 30 minutes of the show? Are you just gonna be like weird dicks to each other? I think Sybil is a weird. Sybil's a weird.

That's all we can do for it. That I would use to describe the situation. I would call it Sybil. Sybil Shepherd? Sure. Dave will be the Christine Baranski. Wait, no, I'm Christine Baranski! I'm Peter Bogdanovich.

And I'm someone else from the show! We watched a lot of Sibyl. What show? We watched a lot of Sibyl, although I don't remember anybody. Wait, was Peter Bogdanovich on Sibyl? No, he dated her. He cheated on his wife when he was making last picture show ah Yes, with civil shepherd you I get it. Yeah, I mean his wife was

I would have never I would have never cheat on his wife, but I tried But she was I understand the appeal of dating Sybil Shepherd me too now I mean I'd rather I'd rather date Baranski though, right? That's a solid woman. You date Sybil, you marry Baranski. Lock it down! Okay, let's fuck Mary and kill the characters on Sybil. Okay, Christine Baranski, but she's in the Grinch Who makeup. Fuck Anne Mary.

Yes, I'm gonna do all three. In no particular order. Sure. I would say, hey, hey, I didn't know this. We're all a couple, we're all some who boys over here. Just some nasty who boys. Who dat, who dat, who dat. Oh yes. As they say in New Orleans about fucking Christine Baranski. Baranski in a little mouse nose.

Yeah, you know what Rose Beast is? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, I've honked on BoBo before I went down the chimney with care All right, that's enough well anyway, yeah Dave this helps if this helps you understand what's going on here. This is I guess what a podcast It's I've been on the show like four times. I know that there's no

Ultimately anything that we're gonna talk about where it's gonna continue doing this thing and it's okay podcast I've been on the show like four times I know that there's no ultimately anything that we're gonna talk about where it's gonna continue doing this thing and it's okay we should mention we script out our parts I'm the subject of the experiment yeah it's like that jury duty show oh okay way more joke no only Way more jerking off jokes. No. Cut that out. Only we would fucking love to get on 2B or whatever that's on. It was on Freebie. It was on Freebie. RIP Freebie. It's gone.

They killed it. They killed Freebie? Yeah, because everything on Amazon Prime Video now has commercials. And now it's in Hell with Quibi and CISO. Hell? Yes. Super Deluxe. That's where apps go.

Can I just say? Hell. See so hell yes super deluxe. That's where yeah, that's where Can I just say that free V and quibi Are making beautiful children in heaven right now. That's okay. So you think they went to heaven? Yeah. Oh, well, we'll see I think they're in heaven. They got the little see when we get to one of those places They got their little harps. they got their little beautiful little wings, and they got their gowns. They like to PV on each other. They got their gowns hiked up to the waist and they're rutting like dogs. Oh, just rubbing their genitals on various objects. And Quibi's just yelling, there was an Idris Elba show on me! Oh, huh. You got Idris Elba on on me. Yeah. Oh, huh.

You got Idris Elba on you, huh? Nice. He spent a lot of money on Quibi. I'm sure. None of it on us, weirdly. Right before the death of Quibi, I went in to do a day. Death of Quibi, by the way,

is my favorite prestige miniseries. Yes, I know. Michael Sheen is Prince Andrew in Death of Quibi. Coming soon to free fee The year is 1991 why is Berlin wall is in crumbles Sure and Mormons like it I think yeah,. Well, right before Quibi quepped the dust. Mm-hmm. Um.

You know, quepped the dust. Yeah. They queefed away. I got asked to do two days of punch-up on a clip show that obviously they never made because I think people were in production on stuff when they're like, oh, it's not happening anymore. So I got my 500 Quibi bucks or whatever.

So it was your fault? It was my fault. They're like- They saw JM come in, they're like, no thanks. Yeah, they're like, well, if the scripts for this clip show are good enough, the apples stay. But if they're not good enough, everybody's out of a job. The bottom- Except the people who made it, they'll fail up. The apples stay. But if they're not good enough, everybody's out of a job.

Except the people who made it, they'll fail up. The bottom of the barrel was higher than we thought. Yeah. So yeah, and I think I did get like a similar 500 bucks from CISO while it was still open. $500? Yeah. For how much work?

I was the highest paid person. Were you just faxing them in? Yeah. When something momentous happens to you, give us a call at 206-984-4FUN or just send us a vo-vois-memo. Vois-memo. That's how you say it. Vois-memo. That's what Nosferatu sounds like in the movie. Yeah. Bring me a vois-memo. It's a good film by the way. I will encrumble the wall after I get my vois-memo. Yes. Yeah. Come to me with your robux. I love that fucking Nos for a two. Okay, fucking rocks whoo that upset me

It's beautiful movie. Is it out yet? Fest the things happen you go to the movie and they show you a movie that you wouldn't otherwise see comes out on Christmas Day Okay, this is not an ad But it's very good. It's the horniest movie I've seen in a long time really very sexual the sexuality the horniness in this movie was bananas I am going to honk as part of it he's got those long fingers yes at the honk honk my bobble sorry we're going to the call now the whole movie the whole movie basically is like that kind of pornography where it's just a really tight shot of a woman's face Having an orca yes. Yes. It's the ecstasy on her face is remarkable and good for her for having such a look

She does she does great work excellent work. Let's go to the call. Let's go to the telephone call JJ go at maximum fun org Hey Jordan and Jesse, I'm calling in for your long running segment. People who were also fake guests on the Lisa Gibbons show. Okay, pause it for a second. So we should explain. Yeah. Oh, I understand. Dave, so we sort of introduced this as momentous occasions. That's one of many segments that we've thought of on the show. Dave, so we sort of introduced this as momentous occasions. That's one of many segments that we've thought of on the show.

So a lot of people think that we only thought of one segment 15 years ago and have just been doing that every week since and have never thought of anything else. But actually, we're really creative. That's why CISO gives us $300. And by us, I mean only Jordan. And I hosted a television show that I found

out two years later was still airing on Virgin America airplanes. Anyway. Those are gone too, by the way. Yeah. But we're so creative that people, we have a lot of segments that we've thought of. So this is an example of someone calling in to a segment that we've thought of. It's not just them thinking of something they want to tell us about and then claiming that it's in a segment. So you own the IP. So this is us and we work very hard. We don't just show up here and fuck around. I assumed you did but here we go. The caller gets nothing when we adapt this into a feature film. Yeah. The caller gets nothing.

They've signed a release of some sort. When you call our phone number, we write it down and mail it to ourselves. Then it belongs to us. Well, like in the movie, we'll like name a street after the caller and like that's, like that's our nod to the caller. Todd Avenue. And they should, yeah, exactly. And they'll thank us for it. That's weird that his name is Todd Avenue.

Yeah. Hey Jordan and Jesse. I'm calling in for your long running segment, people who were also fake guests on the Lisa Gibbons show. You had John Glover on and he mentioned that he was a fake guest on the Lisa Gibbons short-lived TV talk show. And it made me remember that back in 2005 maybe, I was also a fake guest, but on her short-lived radio show, a friend of mine that I worked with had an uncle who was a producer or something, and they asked if I would be a pretend call-in listener. The idea was that it was a Valentine's show, I think, and they wanted to ask me what I

did for Valentine's Day usually, and then give me a gift certificate for a local restaurant. And so I did it, and then I talked to the producer afterwards, and I was like, so when do I get my gift certificate? And he's like, oh, there's no gift certificate. And he's like, oh, there's no gift certificate. But what I did get, which was really cool, was for that show or maybe a previous show, Sam Simon had been on, the Simpsons writer and producer. And he had brought in, at the time, the most recent DVD release with season six. So I got a Homer clamshell copy of season six, which is pretty badass. So, you know, no complaints about not getting the gift certificate. But anyway, the brotherhood and sisterhood is strong of people who have been on Lisa Gibbons short-lived

various shows. So anyway, love you guys. Bye. Love you too. Is this fake? No. Okay, so he really was on her radio show? Yeah. Guess so. I thought it was a fake thing. No.

Although why would we believe someone who is admitting to have been a fake caller? I know, the late Sam Simon gave him a DVD. The late Sam Simon. Here's the thing. Jennifer Tilly's husband. Who's now on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. He put in... Wait, he's on the Real Housewives? No, he's dead. Jennifer Tilley is on the cast.

He passed away tragically. James L. Brooks is on Real Housewives. He's fucking Jennifer Tilley now. He's a friend of. He's not in the cast. Jennifer Tilley is on Real Housewives now. And, he's a friend of, he's not in the cast. No, Jennifer Tilly's on Real Housewives now. Really? And she told the whole story of Sam and her getting divorced and then he dies and how

she lives off of his royalties. I thought he gave all his money to animal charities or something. But she still gets some money up here. Oh, well. I mean, I imagine. The new royalties. Well, she's got Chucky Bucks coming in. She's got Chucky, she's got Robucks.

She's got Robucks. Chucky B robux no kids, but she loves the game Yeah, I had she already divorced Chucky by the time that you married Sam no the characters married to Chucky Okay, she's single as far as I can tell got it. Okay, not married to a doll of any. Oh, you can't tie Chucky down That hound dogs never getting married He loves getting his bobo honked on Was she also a professional poker player at one point? Yes she was Jennifer Tilley's lived

Yes she has had a life and I think she's one of the most fascinating people in Hollywood What's her story? What's going on there? She's a professional poker player Dave tell us the story of Jennifer Tilley There is a Vanity Fair profile of Sam Simon I think either right before he passed her or after he passed and they it tells the story of her and Sam playing poker together and like being a couple and then getting divorced and all this stuff

And now she's on housewives and she was in checky stuff. Like I just think she's an interesting girl What does she do on real housewives? She's a friend of. Okay. She's not in the cast. She's a friend. And so she pops up here and there. She goes on the trips. Start drama?

She starts, maybe she responds to the drama. She has some fun comments. She's kind of Mystery Science Theater 3000, the show. So she'll pop up and she'll be like, I can't believe that lady did that. That's so funny. Wouldn't you love having somebody just show up in your life every once in a while, talking a funny voice and making, that would be amazing.

That's what Jordan does with me. I see him every once in a while, he's like, hey! Ah, Dave! And I'm like, all right, we've had enough. That's true, Dave and I do run into each other. We've talked about this many times on the show. It's a lot of fun to run into each other. It's sort of like, of course Jordan's there.

There he is. There he is, there he is. Talkin' weird with my crazy voice. Here's a momentous occasion. Hi Jordan, Jesse and guests. This is Darcy from Calgary. I just got back from a family vacation to Japan and while we were there,

we got to hang out and pet three capybaras. Their names are Punch, Yanbo and Vanilla. We got to hang out with them, feed banana leaves carrots cabbage sweet potatoes and some oats It was really an awesome experience. Thanks Canadian people are so cool. Yeah Wonderful country. I'm gonna tell you about my vacation. I met some animals. Anyway, take care What I I really appreciate that Darcy took the time to take notes on this I really appreciate that Darcy took the time to take notes on his encounter. I would have forgotten every animal that I encountered. I'm imagining him like licking his finger and flicking through one of those reporter

notebooks. Right, yeah. All right. Okay, we got oats. One of them's name was vanilla. I am going to get on Jordan Jesse Goh if my life depends on it. It will happen, I swear to God. And it's going gonna be one of these

Monumental moments and hopefully it'll be about these animals. I'll tell you this a lot of listeners have been sending me viral videos of capybara cafes My capybara is my favorite animal. No interesting. I didn't know that. I thought you're a moodang guy. No Okay An animal no interesting. I didn't know that I thought you're a moodang guy. No no Dang's a piece of shit right now Dang voted for Trump The price of eggs is too high all right fuck you you don't even eat eggs a piece of shit yeah What is that in What is moodang? Hippo okay, you're just a hippo hippos don't eat eggs. Yeah, those are deadly as fuck. They don't need to eat eggs

No, but for whatever reason inflation really bothered the moodang just wants to own the libs Hippos are like all these new Star Wars showsppos are too busy taking out the femoral arteries of people fucking trying to wash their clothes on the tampopo or whatever. That's why they were at January 6th, because they were weapons for us folks. Sure, yes, the deadliest animal. Yeah.

Hippos always carry bear spray. Shh. Okay, anyway, I don't remember what the premise of that is, but I was just gonna say- Yeah, you're getting a lot of cappy videos. I was gonna, isn't there a new viral baby cappy? I haven't remember what the premise of that is but I was just gonna say you're getting a lot of cappy videos I was gonna isn't there a new viral baby cappy. I Haven't seen this Stephen. This is it feels like you're you're you're a man who knows a meme tapped into the yet The meme averse. Yes. Yeah, you jack into the net. Yeah always Johnny mnemonic over here

Call him Johnny mnemonic Yeah, it's my classic nickname. Yeah. Yeah, that's why we call him Johnny Mnemonic. Yeah, it's my classic nickname. Yeah, yeah. Do you know there's a new there's a new baby Cappy on the scene, right? Oh, I honestly have not kept up with since Mudang voted for Trump. I haven't kept up with the meme animals Famous Cappy Bar. This is gonna be intense. Let's see. There's Cinnamon is oh, that's the world's most famous Cappy Barara. Excuse me. Yeah, no this one's like top 10 Yeah, have you gotten any good vanilla is one of the biggest? No, it's great Cardamom the thing about all spice

Clubs is a goth capybara I There are these videos that are of Clubs is a goth capybara. There are these videos that are of capybara cafes, in which there are a number in Japan. There are also, there's also at least one in Florida. They got a cafe for everything over there. Fucking great country. Way to go, Japan. It really is.

The greatest country in the world, in my opinion. I really like that the reductivist American perspective on Japan has really shifted from businessman by used panties out of vending machines. Which exists, let's be real, but people are out there. But was a racist form of reductivism of an entire nation culture.

Yeah, there's plenty of people out there who don't buy underwear. Too, they got every kind of cafe. Which honestly, you could hardly complain about that being what your culture is boiled down to. That sounds great, that's wonderful. What a lovely thing. It's better than the underwear machine, but sure.

I mean, yeah, it's great. Anyway, people send me the videos of the cabbie bar cafes And I have to say you seen one video of a cabbie bar cafe. You've seen them all so you pay You sit down the animal rubs up against you do you get coffee or soda pop or I think something like that Some sort of tea you pay it for a table dance And if you sit near the stage, you got a tip. You got a tip. An aura, but it's a capybara.

Sure, yeah. You gotta get bills. I just wanna be your girlfriend. Steven, you have some information on new capies? Yes, meet Toopy, San Antonio Zoo Baby Cappy Bar. It's so tiny. Look how tiny it is. So that baby's right down the freeway in San Diego.

Toopy. Toopy does sound like a failed app that I would have gotten $500 from. Quibi, Toopee. Those are Jeffrey Katzenberg's I'm too now. Making baby Cappy Bar. It's all Cappy Bar content. It's not Cappy Bar, it's for Cappy Bar. So what I would like to say is.

Joel Kim Booster had a 40 episode show on Toopee. Really funny. He's great. I'm glad. Yeah, it's too bad. Ahead of its time. I would love for, if you're going to send me a Cabbie Barra video, I'm going to want to see the Cabbie Barra doing something cool or great. What do you consider cool, I guess?

Snowboard? Like fun, natural fun. Bobo honkin I would say a good example would be swimming in a swimming pool Sliding around a hardwood floor in someone's house And I think the best one anyone has sent me was just a bunch of cabby baras jumping off a little cliff into a lake That was incredible. How many? Because they were they were just going like flying off. Yeah like it was as though they had like springs in their boots. Are they an athletic animal

typically or? They certainly don't appear to be one so should they? I would think so. It's a little bit like Charles Barkley or something when they when they show some athleticism your that's why they call them the round mound of rebound sure and they were going for a joke sorry I was gonna say they fought guts a little Anyway if you if you're gonna send me the capybara, and you know what send the capybara video Here's what we'll do send the capybara videos to add Jordan Jesse Goh pod. Steven's gonna vet them and we'll be sharing some of the best. After my calculations. Copyright dependent as long as you don't get sued.

It's okay for you to roast the worst. Yeah! Campy bearers will not find out. Celebrate the best, roast the worst. Oh, yeah The best roast the worst yes roast Mike hashtag roast Mike Meanwhile the meanwhile the entire continent of South America is like we've been roasting cappies for years they're our primary protein and their meat the sweetest treat mm-hmm they taste good we eat them like a fun snack anyway

that sound good? so we're gonna people have their people have their instructions and you know what? can I say one more thing? Yeah. Steven, if people go to our Instagram at Jordan Jesse Gopod, they're going to see your Cappy Bar roasts, your Cappy Bar celebrations. Are they going to see our debut as the try hard guys, the guys who try things? Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

Very. That'll probably, by the time this comes out That'll be up. Yeah, yeah, it's it's where we the first thing we ate Jordan hmm a Sandwich yeah, oh How was that? You're so excited listener Listening to him, but can I watch the meat can I see them eat this sandwich from Pasadena? Yeah, how much does their mouth open when they chew?

I think it's a question everybody wants to answer. Unhinged like a python? You just swallow. This is a sweet swallow. Yeah, just swallow the whole thing. A smooth, sweet swallow. Do you know about this sandwich? Which sandwich?

It's just a... Sorry. The roast beef at Philippe's? I don't know. It's in Pasadena. What, Philippe's? The Pasadena sandwich. There's a sandwich in Pasadena?

You go to a delicatessen in Pasadena. Which one, Jeff? The real one. The real one.'s? The Pasadena sandwich. There's a sandwich in Pasadena? You go to a delicatessen in Pasadena. Which one, Jesse? The Roma Market. Okay, thank you for some specificity. Finally. I would even say, I called it a delicatessen. It's not really a delicatessen. It's really just like, it's got a few Italian goods and then it's got some like greengrocers products. Yes, okay, so they have food.

And then so there's just in there, there's just this old man. He has a pile of sandwiches, and you just tell him how many you want. Wait, they're already pre-made? They are. He just slaps them together in the morning? Yeah, there's only one kind, yeah. The sandwich. It's called the sandwich.

It's really good. Can I get four sandwich you say? So it's sort of like what's that? McSorley's in New York where it's just like I'll have oh right they have light beer or dark beer. Yes I'll have the sandwich or I'll have nothing yeah, right, so what's on the sandwich? It is many meats. Yeah, a variety of cold cuts a kind of You know provolone type cheese olive oil and alone type cheese. Yes

All the oil and bread very simple sandwich the sex type thing these stone temple pilot song She's type thing sure yes, that's from weird Pilots covers covers I wish I had more StoneTablePilot songs Let's do this I'm gonna look up StoneTablePilot songs We're gonna take a break Steven please

Day of the week? Question mark? Day of the meat? Yeah sure Big empty sandwich? I don't know I'm sorry I'm over it I'm done We're doing a great job I'm're doing a great job, actually. I'm gonna get to showing out of show business.

I gotta go! Big empty sandwich. I'm fucked up! We'll be back in just a second. I'm Jordan Jessico. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Have you been looking for a new podcast all about nerdy pop culture? Well, I have just the thing for you. Secret Histories of Nerd Mysteries.

Secret Histories of Nerd Mysteries is a weekly pop culture history podcast hosted by me, host Austin. And me, host Brenda. We've already tackled mysteries such as what happened to the puppets from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, is Snoopy Mexican, and why do people hate Barney so much? From theme parks to cartoons to 80s, 90s, and 2000s nostalgia, we tackle it all. Check us out every Tuesday on MaximumFun.org

and wherever you get podcasts. One thing we all have in common, we all have a mind. It makes me so scared because I'm like, when is the bad thing going to happen? And minds can be kind of unpredictable and eccentric. Everybody wants to hear that they're not alone. Everybody wants to hear that someone else has those same thoughts. Depression Mode with John Moe is about how interesting minds intersect with the lives and work of the people who have them. Comedians, authors, experts, all sorts of folks

trying to make sense of their world. It's not admitting something bad if you say, this is scary. Depression Mode with John Moe. Every Monday at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan Jess Jesse Doe. I am Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweet. Jordan Morris, Boy Detective.

Dave Schilling, The Sweet Cheeser. Couple songs from the Stone Temple Pilots album from Weird Al. Thank God we're following up on this. Wicked Garden turned into Wicked Garden Salad. Sour Girl turned into Sour Ball. Cracker Man, don't have to change that one, Big Bang Baby, Big Mac Baby. Sour Patch Girl?

No, it's actually Sour Ball. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, I mean that might, I mean I, You're not the genius here, Weird Al is. Yeah, this is Weird Al. Right. He weirded it. Got it.

Lady Picture Show, Lady Finger Show. So yeah, it's a really good album, and it exists, and it's good that we did this. Oh, Lady Finger, the cookie. The cookie, yes, it's a really good album and it exists and it's good that we did this Oh lady finger the cookie yes it's not fucking no fuck show that weird Al sing about no no fans are all ages you're always just fans a little boy yeah that's yeah it's nice it's It's nice little like when a kid it kids just like weird out There's a couple songs That he sings or has song where I'm like we can skip. I don't know fat

Right sure not so great. I mean we're trying not to be I think he's done a great job evolving with the times. Yes absolutely Absolutely, there's a couple of all accounts. It's a couple songs about divorce. I don't play Right it's okay Might as well face it you're addicted to divorce Jordan that song goes might as well face it. It's your fault your pants broke up right yeah He was six months old, but sure it was his fault anyway. He'll listen to this one day and say I knew it You know he's not gonna listen to this no the nuclear war will have happened by then Yeah, also no one listens to this even now no one

This show no we were just asked to get you away from that party You're ruining the party. We've made up a fake podcast. I was told this is one of Oprah's favorite things This show no we were just asked to get you away from that party you Made up a fake podcast. I was told this is one of Oprah's favorite things Fuck no no no was not on last week. She was not on last week No, you're thinking of the new James McBride novel. Oh my bad. Huck do it was in that We were we were Stock to It's a mystery about a stocker. Just so people know. Anyway.

Tuah done it. James McBride has nothing to do with Hawk Tuah. You're thinking of Colson Whitehead. Oh my bad. Yes, of course. Nickel Boys is about blowing a guy and spitting on a cop. Oh, I was going to say it's about his pump and dump scheme.

By the way, that's what I'm talking on Bobo is. It's about a crypto scheme. Yeah. Alright, well anyway, who knows. Why do we do this? Give us a call. Let us know.

I was told that it would be fans. Stephen Ray Morris is the producer of our program. He's also roasting cappies at Jordan Jesse Go Pod. Yeah, what was that again? Hashtag roast them cappies? Hashtag roast my cappy. Yes, hashtag roast my cappy. Yes, hashtag roast my cappy Hashtag roast my cappy with your cabby bar roasts

Our theme music is love you by the free design courtesy of the free design and light in the attic records Why do we do words just do sound yeah, so this is the end of the show where you just say nonsense into the microphone. Yes, folks. Should we give Dave a chance to plug in the upcoming projects? Is there maybe a book in the works? I don't know. Can you talk about the book in the works? No, I can't.

Contractually, I can't talk about it, but it comes out in October next year and I'm very excited about it. It is about horror movies, that's all I can say. Oh fun tease. So please. Spooky tease. Follow me at Dave underscore Schilling on the thing that we don't use anymore. You know that thing. Sounds positively spookifying. Yeah. Anyway, here we are. Dave Dave Schilling yeah it was fun Dave Schilling's new book Nosferatu the novelization it's just a bunch of moans yeah just moaning in words when I see the movie I'm gonna love that joke all my daughter's feedback about Nosferatu by the way was just about which character names came from the Bram Stoker novel and which came from the original Nosferatu film

where in order to claim that they weren't ripping off the novel, they changed all the characters' names. Nosferatu was the first mockbuster of all time. Did she look it up before you went to see the movie? She was very familiar. I would love to get that information coming out of the movie. Here's the thing, the Klaus Kinskiinski for a Herzog version used the Dracula names But it's so called Nosferatu because it was like a huge hit in Germany, so they had to keep the name fascinating

There you go wait to see this movie anyway. You will come that's why people tune into our show to learn something sure Yeah, you're welcome sure have fun taking the SATs easier than a Wikipedia. You're welcome. Sure. Have fun taking the SATs now. Easier than Wikipedia. You're going to get a hundred on your SATs. Oh, man. I think Donald Trump Jr. did worse than that on his SATs. OK, we'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jessica. Goodbye. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you.

Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you