Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Cumming to America, with David Gborie

Episode Date: February 20, 2025

On this week's episode, we welcome back comedian and podcaster, David Gborie, to chat about sneaking on beaches, hairless cats, LinkedIn puns, we take a conference session-based quiz, and more!Watch David’s new special, Gbirth of a Nation!Listen to My Momma Told MeListen to All Fantasy EverythingJustice for migrants. Please consider donating to Al Otro Lado this holiday season. Pre-order Jordan's Godzilla vs. Los Angeles comic to benefit Wildfire Relief Charity!Pre-order Jordan's Spider-man comic! Be sure to get our new ‘Ack Tuah’ shirt in the Max Fun store.Or, grab an ‘Ack Tuah’ mug!The Maximum Fun Bookshop!Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes!Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On.Go see Free With Ads and Judge John Hodgman LIVE at SF Sketchfest!Come see Judge John Hodgman: Road Court  live in a town near you! Jesse and John will be all over the country so don’t miss your change to see them. Check the events page to find out where!Follow brand new producer, Steven Ray Morris, on Instagram.Listen to See Jurassic Right!

Give a little time for the child within you don't be afraid to be young and free Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you It's Jordan Jesse Goh, I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart Jordan Morris, the LinkedIn lunatic Oh really? You're going wild again? You're out of control again? You know me on LinkedIn, causing all kinds of ruckus getting in there

Getting my face dirty People post content on that. I think is that correct you on LinkedIn Jesse I have a LinkedIn profile and once I logged into it. Mm-hmm and Was disappointed to find that I had missed a job opportunity. Oh, yeah? Was it like, cool? It was to produce, like Comedy Central was looking for someone to produce podcasts for them. And I was like, whoops. Two years later.

Oh, boy. If they had really wanted me, my email address is on the internet. So they could have used a non-LinkedIn means. You could have met Cartman. But yeah, I think I- You could have used a non-LinkedIn means. You could have met Cartman! You could have done a podcast with Cartman! I think I created a LinkedIn profile in, I'm gonna call it 2004. To meet Cartman.

To meet Cartman. And ever since, ever since I've just been logging in once every five years in the hopes that Cartman has messaged me right But hey, it's me Cartman I want to be friends with you You know his famous voice yes, and his famous catchphrase. I want to be friends with you Love those little love those little rascals no, okay, you want to on link so I'm I've gotten on LinkedIn I've decided you know that I should you know, I don't think you find a lot of like TV writing jobs on LinkedIn

You know you find those In back alley fight clubs, right for you. Yeah, that's where you if you want to write for Bob's burgers you gotta find a nice Club alley behind the Seinfeld set at Universal. Sure. Yeah. Sony? Where's that Seinfeld set? I think it's Seinfeld's Sony show, but maybe they taped it on another one.

I don't know. Might be at Sony. But, you know, I want to diversify my resume, And I know that other kinds of writing jobs you might find on LinkedIn. So I got on there, and I've been trying to mix it up. Get out there, present myself as a professional. Write recipes. Write recipes.

Jesus pamphlets. Yeah, sure. Hey, you need someone to convince a passerby to commit to Christ? I'm your guy. I can do it. I can do it. It'll be clean, under budget, well written. No, so I, you know, and LinkedIn is a pretty wild place.

It has a couple things that always blow my mind. One is, and this is a recent development, writers who are either into or pretending to be into AI, right? Like it has people pretending to be excited about AI. Right. And then this stuff is, it's kind of interesting, isn't it? Like they say interesting a lot. It's kind of like interesting and like- I'm fascinated by AI and by highly paid tech jobs. Yeah, it's like, I don't know, it's kind of it.

I'm like, you traitorous dork. You dorky fucking traitor to humanity and your business anyway. So you have that and they'll do little, they'll post little sketches like, just thought you'd get a laugh out of this and it's like a fucking disgusting, looking cat saying something about I don't know fucking tick-tock or something awful well disgusting cats have a lot to say

about tick-tock that's true yeah just kind of a smooth gross dead-eyed cat and then you have people just posting non Job just posting regular ass internet content like it'll be like Chuck Schumer resign and I'm like, this is LinkedIn. Yeah I mean you might have a point but Ma'am, this is for finding a job at Wendy's sure Anyway, here's a job playing Wonderwall. And so, you know, I've been getting in there and I had an animation job, Bite the Dust recently, and decided I should do the like, I'm available post, right? And I, you know, and I have other parts of the career going well, but animation, that's

how Baby gets his health insurance. And Baby loves preventative care. Baby needs to talk to a nutritionist once in a while. That's right. Baby is at high blood pressure, historically. Baby is at risk for prostate cancer. Sure. Womp womp. Put it in my butt. Baby is at risk for prostate cancer. Blah blah.

Put it in my butt! Yes, put it in my butt. That's what Baby says as a doctor. Yeah, to get a prostate examination. So, you know, I'm like, hey, you know, this thing happened, it was exciting, but you know, now I'm available for work. And then Jordan, I don't mean to interrupt. Yeah. The first thing baby says is grease

the pwob. Sure. First baby says grease the pwob. Go ahead. And then it's just, and I have not gotten, you know, I've gotten some nice notes of encouragement from people, right? Like, hey, you know, keep an eye out for ya. But anything that is a DM is insane. Like, it'll just be people going like, hey, what are you working on? Or they're just people who go like, how's it going today? People who want to just fucking chat on LinkedIn. It's insane. Like, what are you, what are you, like if someone did that on Blue Sky, it would be crazy. But someone in LinkedIn going like, what's, how are you doing today? Like, what am I supposed to do? Anyway. Can I ask a question? Yeah. Do you already have a biz boy for a business boyfriend? No, what's a, what's a business boyfriend? A business boyfriend is a handsome, graying, middle-aged man who belongs to the Kiwanis

Club who sends you DMs on LinkedIn. You DM back and forth about trends in the local business community. Maybe you suck a little dick on the side. No, I got to get one of these. These sound great. Yeah, it's really nice. It's really nice because the Kiwanis, it's not just a great place to meet people, it's also a great place to do good works and it's a great place to suck a little dick on the

side. The people who are sending me these kind of random how's it goings, it's like someone who is the subject of an 8x10 that's hanging up in a comedy club in Minnesota and it's from the 80s. Like it is a guy with a green bow tie and suspenders. Right. I see what you mean. Yeah.

These are the people asking me how it's going on LinkedIn. Like someone who once had a weird problem with our friend Jimmy Pardo. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I think that's a great way to describe the people who are asking me how it's going on LinkedIn. Marshall S. Llaraski Jimmy was right, this person was wrong. Stanislav I so yeah, that's what I'm doing. I'm going wild on LinkedIn, trying not to go crazy, and just kind of wondering what I should just, it's one of those things where they can see that

I've read it and I'm like, I mean, I don't need to not worry about sliding this person, but I clearly am a little bit worried about sliding, you know, Jimmy Chuckles from North Montreal. I mean, my concern here, Jordan, is what if you don't realize that one of these guys is a Bill Nye? Right. Yes. Sure. Absolutely. that one of these guys is a Bill Nye. Right, yes, sure, absolutely. I am just writing these people off

because they have a weird photo and seem to be from a part of the country with no show business. We know people who have worked for Bill Nye who is one of those guys. Sure, who do we know, who's that? I think Robin Thede maybe wrote for Bill. Oh, somebody we know was the head writer of Bill Nye's Netflix show. You might be right. But yeah, I think the danger that you're

trying to get into here is if you start filtering out people who belong to organizations of 50 to 70 year old swing dancers, you're gonna filter out Bill Nye the Science Guy and you might miss a job opportunity. Fucking sorry, I can't afford that. Everybody knows that guy loves to swing dance in Pasadena. Sure. At least everybody who's in a big band.

So yeah, hit me up on LinkedIn. And yeah, I will answer your DM no matter how weird you look. If because you might be Bill Nye. Our guest this week on the program joining us from the Myahai City, Denver, Colorado. He is one of the hosts of My Mama Told Me and All Fantasy Everything and one of our favorite guys, David Borey. Hi, David. How are you doing, bud? I'm so good. How are you guys? Oh, we're great. We're so happy to see you. Are you on LinkedIn, David? No, I don't know how it works. It's not for lack of trying. You tried and failed? I took a course at the YMCA.

I got involved with this thing called Syncden. It's like a karaoke enthusiast group. Kinked in was fun. Not a lot of job opportunities. Yeah. Well, a lot of jobs I'm looking at. Yeah. Yeah.

A lot of jobs, but if you love it, you'll never work a day in your life. Foot jobbing. Yeah. The real question is, are you on LinkedIn to learn about FinTech or FinDOM? Sure. I mean, I just want a DOM, you know? Actually made two profiles in the pink den and one in the stink den. Check me out on Stink Den.

It was exciting. David, I wanted to ask you, you had some beautiful vacation photos that you posted to Insta recently. It was one of those things where like I'm seeing these vacation photos, you know, sometimes when like, you know, you see somebody's vacation photos on Instagram, it's like, all right, whatever. This vacation looks so beautiful and fun and I was so happy for you. Thank you. Wonderful.

It was great. I was. Yeah, I went to Mexico. It was, it was so fun. They have a cotis, cotati. They look like a cross between. It's like a, like a primate raccoon type of situation. Oh yeah. I know that kind of guy you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Kotapi maybe. Is that it? I don't know. We should get a producer to look this kind of thing up. It's like Kodamundi. Kodamundi. Steven says. Kodamundi. I'm obsessed with them. They're so cute.

They were awesome. What do they do? Ah, it looked like drank this Polish couple's wine. Hell yeah. Dope. Glug glug, says the Kodamundi. That was very cool. They were running around and then yeah, went swimming. Eww, great time.

Yeah. It's good to know that the Kodamundis are members of the European Economic Community. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They get back. Free trade with the Poles. What were your other, was this like pure beachside, maxin' and relaxin'? Did you do any adventure activities? No, we rented scooters. That was about as adventurous as it got.

But yeah, no. Where'd you go on the scooters? Around Cozumel, the island of Cozumel, which kind of felt, you ever go somewhere? And you're like, this is Florida. Yeah. You're like, you tricked me. Many places are Florida. Yeah, like, wait a second. I could have flown a much shorter flight to go to Florida if that's where I was trying

to go. I could have been at Applebee's four hours ago. Exactly. That's how it felt like. And then in the airport, there was a guy, Fieri's, but what are you going to do? Oh, yeah. Known for his Mexican cuisine. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's good to know that Burbank is stretching out across the world. You know, that's if there was one thing we could give anybody else, I think

that's it. Yeah. Burbank. It falls with it. And they would thank us for it. They would say, thank you. Thank you daddy for the goth stores. That's where we got it right. That's what I think. Yeah.

So many people right now in El Salvador just longing for their own martial arts museum. Oh, come on. They just want to go to Flapper's Comedy Club. Did you just do like true classic vacation shit? I mean like lying on towels and... Truly, truly sneaking into the beach next door. Uh, you know. They had a better beach?

I don't, I couldn't tell what the situation was, but there was a beach cop. There were definitely some words exchanged cause he's like, oh, you gotta be platinum. I was like, listen, man, the beaches, what if there were no borders? You know what I mean? Had to hit him with that. Borders are imaginary. If you ask me, Abba Kappa.

All peach cops are bastards. Abba Kappa. But yeah, it was truly just that. Yeah, just basic vacations. I don't really need to. Is that like- It's really wonderful. Can I ask you, is that the normal type of vacation that you like to go on?

Are you a vacation vacation guy? No, I'm usually not even, I go somewhere because it's like I got some work there and then I'll like find stuff around there. And this was like, I went with my girlfriend, which is like, usually if I'm by myself, it's like, let's see what weird trouble we can get to. But then when you have somebody else, it's like, okay, you don't want to go back to this guy who has a lizard's apartment because he's like 3d printing a sword. You don't want it. And I get that.

You know what I'm saying? So like, it was like, it was very, very. He's gonna take your girl, baby. Sure. Man, he's gonna 3D print me a ride home. Yeah. This is something that came up with Jackie Cation on a recent episode.

We were talking about for like, for folks, for like standup comics, like where is the ultimate place to like Have a free day. Is there like a place where you're like, oh my god. I can't wait to just tool around, you know Phoenix or something like that It's probably Phoenix right David. It's Yeah, you nailed it. Yeah. Yeah, it's nice cuz it's a's 117 degrees and there's four things spread out over 75 miles Yeah, yeah, what a natural beauty great Mexican food. Yeah. Yeah Fried bread tacos. I

wonder what The good thing about going somewhere for three days at a time is it's all got one thing sure, you know what I mean? Yeah, I guess what's the bad like in New York and stuff is the easiest answer. I guess it's like New Orleans or you know those cities that don't always feel like America? Yeah. You know what I mean? I think all those places are always pretty cool. Or like certain streets in Pittsburgh.

What country would you say those Pittsburgh streets? Brother, I am not here to get in trouble. The streets are secret. They do not show up on Google Maps. I recently went to Pittsburgh for the first time on Judge John Hodgson's tour, maybe like four or five months ago. Man, Pittsburgh is beautiful. Yeah, it's really pretty. Did you catch a game? No, I guess you wouldn't have been there.

No, it was not baseball season. I was really bummed. But it was also not like, I got the impression that it's one of those places where if you visited exactly the right time, you think, this is heaven on earth. Why don't I live here? But then if you hit it in February, you think, how can human beings exist in this hellscape? Can I tell you I've been there enough times that that's exactly what it is. If you go there, because last time I went there, we went to a baseball game, just walked around. It's so pretty. You got the waterfront and everything. But then I went there once in like January.

It's like, yeah, it's not fit for human consumption. Yeah. Although I do like that Pittsburgh Pirates legend Andrew McCutcheon, every time the furry con is in town, just tweets furries. How often is the furry con in town? I think it's annual. I think it's called Anthrocon, if I remember correctly. It's like the top furry convention in the country.

It's held in Pittsburgh every year, like sort of like, you know, Comic Con is held in San Diego. And one year, like 10 years ago, they were in town and Andrew McCutchen tweeted furries. And every year since, when they're in town, he just tweets furries. And not like with an accompanying photo? No, no, just the word furries, which is really great. Yeah. You know, I caught a bunch of them on the street one time and they're so nice.

I took a great picture. Yeah. Yeah. Furries are the best. It's a pretty wonderful subculture, I think. Yeah. I don't understand it. They're out there doing their shit. What is their shit? think. Yeah. I don't understand it. You know, they're out there doing their shit.

What is their shit? Is it just, I don't understand it. There's a, we've, we've had some great conversations with furries who listened to Jordan, Jesse, Goh over the years and- One invited me whitewater rafting one. I would like to see the Venn diagram of furry and whitewater rafting. Yeah, I know. I wonder, I wonder if this was an outlier like, oh yeah, we all whitewater raft. The answer is that there is a lot of stuff that is about kind of like living in this,

as they call it, fursona, right? It's like being outside of yourself in a situation where everybody is doing something like that. You have this character that you're portraying. It's like both sort of an expression of yourself and almost like a Dungeons and Dragons character or something, kind of like a mix of those things. And then also after dark, they're fucking. Like they really want to be clear. They really want to be clear.

It's not about fucking. But I think that on a scale of one to 10, how much fucking is going down? I get the impression it's at least an eight. Like, okay, it's maybe maybe even more than like a rent fair. Okay, that's exactly what I was gonna ask. That was like, it's not a fetish, it's not a fetish, it's not a sex thing in general, but also they are fucking. Does that make sense? Okay, because I went to the Ren Fair for the first time last year, and that is a horny place. Oh, yes, absolutely. I had no idea. And good for that. I mean, it's great. I just didn't. I silly me. I thought these people really loved like blacksmithing and flagons of veil. Yeah. I didn't know that.

And they do, and they do, and they do. Yeah. And you're like, I was here to learn about looms. I took off the work. I have to look at all these deal with all these tits. Yeah. Okay. So they're hornier than Renfair. Yeah, I think they may be even. Like it's, again, I think the activity itself maybe is less horny than Renfair. Like I think the stuff they're up to during the day is less.

This is, again, this is impressions we've gathered or I've gathered from talking to, from emailing with furries who emailed us back in the day and that kind of thing. But I think during the day, the activities are much more sort of social and playful and not very horny. But also, they are all fucking, if that makes sense. Whereas- If you find the right room at the Hampton Inn. Hey guys, speaking of Hampton Inns, I actually have a quiz for you. There across this great nation, this year and every year, there are hundreds and thousands of kinds of various kinds from, you know, from the world redhead day

to the International Plumbers Association They're meeting up together in hotel conference rooms and teaching each other's things and so I have a quiz for you guys It's about which of these is a real conference session Which of these is a real conference session, Which of these is a real conference session? So I'm going to give you a conference and four conference session titles. Your job is to tell me which one is a real conference session at that conference. All these conferences are real. They're all real.

All the conferences are real. It's the sessions we're keeping an eye out for. It's the sessions we're keeping an eye out for. It's the sessions you're keeping an eye out for. Okay. David, do you think you can handle going first? Yeah, let's go. I'm very excited. I love the subculture. Which of these is a real session at the Portable Sanitation Association International Conference in Toronto, Ontario? International Conference in Toronto, Ontario. How to create an effective spill response plan. Milk lemonade fudge.

Where are they made? Intercultural evacuations. Or a hole to shit in. A hole to shit in is in quotes, by the way. Okay. I mean, obviously, my heart wants to say milk, milk, lemonade. It's milk, lemonade, fudge, colon. Where are they made? Question mark. Okay. I was... These often have colons in them. Yeah. Okay. Which one is real? What was the first one?

How to create an effective spill response plan. And what was the cultural then? Intercultural evacuations. I think that's it. You think intercultural evacuations. I think that's it. You think intercultural evacuations? Yes. I think that dealing with, I think they go through so many different things, so many different cultures require porta potties. And I think that a lot of people deal with disposal differently. How to create an effective spill response plan provides detailed information and guidance

on actions important for the prevention of spills and procedures to detect and respond to them when they occur. David, you're incorrect. That takes that. That's, I mean, that was a tricky one. That was a tricky one. Are you ready? Did you write the other three?

Yeah, I wrote all of them. Yeah, yeah. I love it. I love it. Well, actually, I just had AI do it. I think AI is really interesting. Interesting. It's so love it. I love it. Well, actually, I just had AI do it. I think AI is really interesting. Interesting. It's so interesting. Really interesting. You should hire me and hear how

interesting I think it is. Just a tool, right? I mean, if I wouldn't use a tool. In a lot of ways, AI is a tool for me if I'm getting paid six figures by a tech startup. I'm getting paid six figures by a tech startup. Also, here's Garfield dressed as a standup comedian. From a brick wall. Look at him go. He's weirdly smooth. Why does he have so many fingers?

Sure. Okay, Jordan, this one is for you. Yeah. Which of these is a real session at NamesCon, the domain names convention in Miami, Florida. Okay. Mighty Morphin Powerbottoms.net, Misadventures in the Name Game, Domainings Darkside, First! Exclamation mark. Grabbing names before they matter. Or A slash S slash L. Want a cyber? Okay, oh, it's a tough one. I think it is First! Nabbing names before they matter. Incorrect. Domainings Darkside looks at the quote shady unquote side of the domain name business. Nothing shady about the domain name business.

Miami is a great place for that. Just a bunch of good people creating value. Right. Yes. I mean, it's an old, a profession as old as time. It's a family business. My father was a domainer. David, this one's for you.

Okay. Which of these is a real session at Madison, Wisconsin's annual Shrek Fest. Get Into My Swamp, Location Design in Shrek. It's Easy Being Green, Shrek Costume, Tips and Tricks. Live Rap Performance from Shrek Yourself Before wreck yourself or keynote speech. Actually Shrek sucks by 2024 podcast hall of fame inductee, Jesse Thorne. There's a spicy year.

That was a spicy year. It was a controversial choice for the keynote. Is as much as I like those last two specifically, Shrek yourself before you wreck yourself. I know your expertise and I feel like that. I think you I think you wrote that. I think you must have written that. I'm gonna go with the costume one. It's easy being green Shrek costume tips and tricks. That's that's my that's my final answer David

You're incorrect Shrek fest was one of the only venues where you could catch Animation themed novelty rap group Shrek yourself before you wrecked no way Wow Steve Steven, can you before the next segment? Can you please pull up some they've got to be I tried so hard to find footage of Shrek yourself daily motion Wouldn't be funny if ice cube was in Shrek yourself World series thing went really bad These guys are just talented I Lost all my money in that three-on-three basketball league

Okay, believe it or not, I'm not rich from are we done yet? Mm-hmm Do pretty good in the four sequels though. Okay. Yeah, that's where you get your back in. Jordan, I think we're back to you, right? Yes, we are. Still no right answers. It's a tough one. Which of these was a real session at the Association of Lincoln Presenters, LINKCON? Okay. This is an annual convention of people who do live historical reenactments of the character of Abraham Lincoln. That's wild that there's that just, it's not all presidents, you know? It's like, no, just

Lincoln. Only Lincoln. Sorry, Martin Van Puren. Okay. You're at the Hampton Inn down the road. Which of these is a real session? A cabinet of rivals, a conference of friends. Okay. Why did Lincoln come to Kalamazoo? Only built for Cuban Lincolns. Honest Abe in the Caribbean or Lincoln's LinkedIn networking cocktail hour. I think it's the it's the cabinet of rivals thing, right? That's that's that's something people like to talk about. That's what that's my I mean, that's certainly what presidential

historian Doris Kearns Goodwin likes to write about. That's my guess. Jordan, you're incorrect. What? Why did Lincoln come to Kalamazoo? Teaches would-be-Lincoln's about the president's August 27th, 1856 visit to Kalamazoo, Michigan at the invitation of Kalamazoo attorney Hezekiah G. Wells. That was fascinating. Of course. Okay. More talking about that than the furry convention probably, right?

Yeah. Back to you, David. You ready? I'm ready. So far, the score is zero to zero. Which of these is a real event at the International Wizard of Oz Club's Judy Garland Festival in Grand Rapids, Minnesota? Minnesota? Yeah. Grand Rapids, Minnesota, not Grand Rapids, Michigan. Grand Rapids, Minnesota. Minnesota? Yeah. Grand Rapids, Minnesota, not Grand Rapids, Michigan. Grand Rapids, Minnesota. It's Judy Garland's hometown.

Could be a clue. Okay. Could be a clue. Popping pimples, popping pills, Garland's teenage years, Judy Through the Eras party bus tour, Judy, Judy, Judy Judy namesaying competition, or older gay guys drunken fuckfest. Can we all be right? Yeah. I gotta say, my guess is the bus tour, the party bus tour. The Judy Through the Eras party bus tour is an adults-only, alcohol-encouraged tour of important spots in Judy Garland's hometown of Grand Rapids. Alcohol-encouraged, we like that.

We like to see it. Alright, Jordan, this one's for you. I gotta get one. Which of these is a real session at the World Taxidermy and Fish Carving Championships in Coralsville, Florida? Alright. Animals. Dead is best. Fish. Boning and deboning.

Mm-hmm. Animals. Dead is best. Fish. Boning and deboning. What the heck is the fish doing? Ah! The fish came back to life!

It's attacking! Oh my god, this is weirdly the hardest one. That's a tough beat. This is very tough. Oh my god, this is weirdly the hardest one. That's a tough beat. This is very tough. I'm gonna say... Animals dead is better? Swedish fish taxidermist Bo Vestman teaches What the Heck is a Fish Doing?

How Do We see that? Featuring an open discussion of how we read situations and body language in fish. Okay, well. Jordan, good news. This is tricky. This last question is also for you. And this one is worth two points. So if you get this right, you're the winner. So this is actually exciting.

Yeah. This is a real contest. It's actually exciting. It's actually exciting. David, I'm sorry. You're really getting fucked by this rule, but- It was in place all along. It's not something I just made up. No, it's fine. Classic. At some point, we have to break your win streak. You know what I mean? You can't just, we need other people to compete in the Tournament of champions at the end of the year. Which of these Jordan is a real session at the World Clown

Association Convention in Orlando, Florida? Let's talk about it. Stephen King, kids and you. about it. Stephen King, kids and you. Fun believable gospel clowning. Makeups to cake ups. Birthday party celebrations. Or we're both clowns. Let's fuck in wigs. I gotta be the gospel clowns, let's fuck in wigs. I gotta be the gospel clowns, right? Jordan, you're the champion. Unbelieveable gospel clowning looks at the action of sharing God's love through laughter using the art of clowning. Oh my God. So many congratulations to you, Jordan. So many congratulations to you. How exciting. That's so crazy, because that's the only thing that would ruin a birthday party worse than a clown is a clown talking about Jesus. No.

Can I just say, if you're out there and you want to do my work for me, please send me your favorite conference sessions from your favorite conferences, jjgo at maximumfund.org, because I spent probably three hours looking at conference schedules and 15 minutes writing jokes. They were great jokes though.

Great jokes. Steven, can we also search YouTube for some gospel clowning? Yes, yes, definitely. While you're looking, maybe we can play that at the end of the show. If we find it. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessi Go. It's Jordan Jessi Go. I am Jesse Thorn, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, Goh. I am Jesse Thorn, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

Every single episode of Jordan Jessi Goh is supported by the members of Maximum Fund. So our thank you to all of you who are members. If you are not yet a member, you can go to MaximumFund.org slash join. Max Fund Drive, coming around the corner. I can hear the bells clanking on the wagon. The bell covered wagon. The clanks of the bells ring out through the moors for the next fun drive is upon us. We're also supported this week by Factor makes real food, real meals that are ready to heat and eat in two minutes. Stuff that real chefs make out of actual ingredients that's not weird and gross, but actually is

tasty and nice. Oh yeah, they listen, you got a busy day. Uh, uh, Jesse, what do you, what do you, what are you doing on your, on your busiest day? On my busiest day? Well, Jordan today wasn't a not busy day. I'll tell you that much right now. I had a board meeting. Okay. Oh boy. I had, that's going to, that's going to take some time. I have therapy. Oh man. I mean, those, those sessions can last up to six hours. I had to meet with, I wish, I had to meet with my business banker. Oh boy. So Jesse, I'm noticing you're not mentioning when you're eating.

Yeah, because it's so hard to fit in the freaking meals. I can't cook in between all these activities. Yeah, and you're just grabbing some gunk, you're grabbing some slime off a tree. I just grabbed some slime off a tree and licked it. Yeah, I mean, you know. My business banker was really upset. Well, it is nice of him to meet you in the woods near the slime covered trees. Here's what you do.

Don't just eat slime. It's customer service oriented. Don't just eat slime all day. Look Jordan, this isn't a commercial for my business banker, Kassim. It's for factor. banker, Kassim. It's for factor. Here's what you do. You stop eating slime, you get factor, they give you these meals, they're already done,

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Jesse, I'm so glad that we get to read these announcements for Loomy Labs. I felt like for a while there, the only reason people listened to this podcast was for Loomy Labs promo codes. I think that's correct. We're so grateful for it. Because Jordan, who wants to be too high? Nobody wants to be too high. You want to be just right high. Except Stevie Wonder when he's performing his album, Inner Visions, in full.

Well, sure. Listen, Stevie, maybe these aren't the product for you. Everyone else, this is the product for you. These things are so good. Hey, if you're having a little trouble sleeping because of you know, whatever, Lumilabs, the gummies, they chill you out, you get a great night's sleep. Every time I'm having a hard time getting to sleep, get me a delicious Lumilab gummy and I'm honking and shooing as they say on the internet. Honk shoo, that's what I say after I have my Lumilabs gummy. Honk shoo, gummy on that thing. Sleep on that thing.

Lumi gummies are available nationwide. Go to lumigummies.com and use code JJGO for 30% off your order. Again, that's L-U-M-I-Gummies.com, code JJGO, LumiGummies.com, code JJGO. It's short for Jordan Jesse Go. That's true. That's a fun way to remember the promo code. Jordan, what have you got going on in the comic book world? Jesse, very exciting. My first work for the fine publishing outfit Marvel Comics is coming out on March 5th.

It's called Web of Spider-Verse New Blood. I have a story with a great artist named Sumit Kumar. We have a cool 80s vampire inspired Spider-Man multiverse story in this upcoming thrilling anthology. You can get it on March 5th at your local comic book store. Tell them you want it now. Put it on your poll list. And hey, if you're in California, I'm going to be stopping out at some shops to sign books.

On the 5th, March 5th, I will be at Arsenal Comics in Newberry Park from 5 to 630. On March 9th, I'm going to be at Golden Apple Comics in Hollywood California 1 pm to 3 pm and on March 15th, I'm going to be at Cape and Cow comics in Oakland California 1 pm to 3 pm. Jesse, some of these appearances will have special guests. Oh wow, really? So, it's not going to be just me you're getting signed comics from, it's all sorts of cool people.

Look, how often does your friend read a Spider-Man? Go put it on your poll list. Basically never. Put it on the poll list. We know you have one. Your friend wrote a fucking Spider-Man, listener. Come on. You love Spider-Man.

What are you, friends with Todd McFarlane? What are you, friends with Stan Lee? No, you're friends with Jordan and that guy just wrote his own Spider-Man, so go put it on your poll list. Thank you. Thank you, Jesse. Fucking some of these fucking people. You know you got it. If you say you don't, you're fucking lying. Some of these fucking people, Jordan, don't have it on their poll list. I'm really upset.

It's weird. It's weird that they don't. Yeah, they're a bunch of weirdo freaks and not in a good way. Sure. Not in like a sexy nasty way. Right, in a way where you pass up the opportunity to read fun comics. Yeah, it's bullshit. Web of Spider-Verse New Blood. Web of Spider-Verse New Blood.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jess Goh. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I am Jesse Thorn, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Cranberry Tortuga, purveyor of exotic meats Chilling in this one. This is the this is go Shrek yourself before you wreck yourself Steven. Yes. Yes People are fucking going nuts for it. Yeah. People are losing their minds. That's it.

Losing their freaking minds out here. I don't know Shrek well enough and the audio wasn't great. Did anybody catch Shrek references in there? I did not and I thought that I knew Shrek. I heard him say he was chilling in the swamp. Okay. That's about it. That's all I caught. Yeah.

I think that was a political thing though. Yeah. It's true. They're weirdly right wing. Why are you guys right wing? Fucking everybody kind of is now. It's weird. Yeah.

Guys, Shrek is for everyone. Shrek is for all. Shrek is for everyone. Anyone who wants to watch a B-movie can watch Shrek. When something will... We've got Puss in Boots though, that one was pretty good. Honestly, I've not seen Puss in Boots, but I think I addressed on this program, I watched the most recent Puss in Boots movie, which was Puss in Boots, colon something something. I think it was Puss in Boots 3 maybe, Puss in Boots 2, Puss in Boots 3, something like that.

Knocking the Boots? Yeah. Two, Puss in Boots, three, something like that. Knocking the boots? Yeah. It was one where he has to come to terms with the inevitability of death. Yes. Oh, that's beautiful.

And honestly, I thought that was really good. I thought it was really good. I think that's the one I'm talking about. I've heard that there's like an outlier, wonderful Puss in Boots movie. He's like on his last life or something like that, right? Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Whoa. That's the one I was thinking of. I've got to see, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, that is good. That's the one I was thinking of. I gotta see this puss. I thought it was really good. I thought it was really cool looking. You know how all children's animated movies are ugly looking? They just put 20,000 things on screen and you're like, God, I get it. You can put things on screen.

I thought that Puss in Boots movie was really cool looking. Like there's a lot of cool action that was really fun and exciting and beautiful. Yeah, it was really neat. Yeah, because they do like a lot of slow motion and stuff like that, right? Yeah, and a lot of kind of like, like when the action was happening, it would kind of, it would become more abstract. I like that. Both more sort of three dimensional and more abstract. Like I think sometimes those movies can get too invested in realism or recreating two

dimensional animation in some way. Either one of those. Yeah, I really liked it a lot. Very good movie. Gotta see this bus. I just saw a bad robot. It stressed me out. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Why is that? Because at one point they're flying in San Francisco is underwater So you're worried about my mom? Judy A lot of moms also a few taquerias. I Like oh no, not only insane Although who's gone now, you know

If they had paid attention to El Farolito, they would never have run up on the rocks and had this problem Okay, I didn't quite fit together but El faro they that means the White House So sort of makes sense, right Jordan is also El faro that means the lighthouse So sort of makes sense right Jordan is also El faro though Everything is there's faro leto and then there's faro, right? There's an El faro and I think there are multiple faro leto's yeah Yeah, cuz it's like yeah, cuz there's one in Excelsior too, right? Can I tell you this David Borey? Yesterday I was on Instagram and I bought a painting of the El Farolito in the Excelsior. Really?

Yeah, I did. That's awesome. That's great. Yeah, sure did. Like a real painting, like a painting painting, like a painting from an art gallery. I love that. Also, I lived in Ingleside, so I went to that one more. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that was my main was my main farleto. Yeah, that was when my father when I went away to college, this is farleto talk with Jesse and David and Jordan listening politely. But when I went away to college, my dad moved from from the mission to the outer mission Excelsior. And that became my brother's, that Farolito that's way out in the cold part of San Francisco became my brother's burrito place. And so, and unlike all of the taquerias that I grew up going to in the mission, like it was never invaded by like dudes in polar fleece vests who wanted vegetarian burritos with black beans. It just was always the same. Always the same. Never changed at all. And so that sort of became,

especially after the one that I went to when I was a kid burned down in an insurance fire. It really became the taqueria of my heart is the OMI outer mission El Farolito. I love that. People don't really make it out that way that often. Even if you live in San Francisco. People don't make it past Ocean Avenue, Jordan. They don't make it past Ocean Avenue. Anyway, when something momentous happens to you, like you see a beautiful painting of your favorite taqueria and you buy it on Instagram from its creator. We ask you to call us at 206-984-4FUN or just email us a voice memo at jjgoatmaximumfun.org. I think that's what this person did.

Hello, Jordan. Hello, Jesse. Hello, Stephen. Hello, guest. I'm guessing it is Josh Gondelman. Oh, that's so close. guest. I'm guessing it is Josh Gondelman. Regardless, I'm here with a momentous occasion, which is that I recently co-hosted an event where for the first time, my official title at the event was Apple Expert. That was the role that I filled as an expert in historic apple varieties and apple preservation. Now as apple experts yourselves, well documented on Jordan Jesse Goh, I am sure you're skeptical. And so to prove my qualifications, I brought the most JJ Goh compatible historic apple variety name I could find. It is from the Herefordshire Pomona of 1876.

It's an old Welsh apple called Cummie, often known as Cummie Norman. Cummie spelled like Wario sauce. So yeah, if you ever need an Apple expert for official maximum fun business, I suppose I'm now professionally qualified to offer my services. Thank you. Love the show. Can I ask what if you need a Cummy Norman? Yeah. The's the only apple that tastes like a pineapple. I enjoy that Jordan. Sorry, I was still laughing at David's joke, but I just really wanted to know. A lot of people are saying a lot of stuff. Yeah, this was kind of interesting, just you know, peek behind the curtain, which people love. Process nerds, perk your ears up.

Yeah, I'm about process, not product myself. Stephen Raymour's producer of the show, when he played that call, did something that he didn't normally do, which was share his screen. So, we all saw, I think, that the title of the MP3 file was Cummye Apple. It was, it was. And so, I was just kind of waiting for it, know, I'm like when when are we gonna get to it unless he just like decided to name it that for another reason No that sometimes I think in a recent episode that I wasn't there for there was a joke about a yo-yo That I think Gabe mentioned and that was the title of the voice memo from the listener

So I couldn't take credit for that. But this voice memo was just like voice memo 43.M4A. Right. And you're an organized guy. You have a, I'm sure you have a tidy desktop. I haven't seen it, but I bet it's tidy. It's pretty tidy unless I, well, I'll do the thing where it gets messy and then I'll just dump everything in like a folder that says like the dates of when these files were put in.

That's great. You know, by the way, I don't know, David, if you're a churchgoer, I know Jordan, once in a while you go to see Brad perform. You know what my favorite hymn is? Oh, call me all ye apples. Beautiful. Beautiful. Love that. Oh, Commie, all ye apples. Beautiful. Beautiful.

Love to exalt the Lord. I love an Lord tribute pick. Yeah. What does Commie mean in this context? Something in Welsh. Did he explain it? It's got to mean something in Welsh. I was curious about that.

I'd like to think it transferred over to Nutty Norman for a while. Welsh is one of those languages where you're like, these people were 20 miles from people who were speaking English, and yet the two sets of people just came up with the differentist words. You know what I mean? Like just... Yeah. And some of the words mean spooge to the other people. Exactly. Our friend, I believe it is our friend, Alex Zalbin, who came up on this program recently, who is a real Apple enthusiast. It might be Jeff Solomon. We got Zalbin on the show. We had Zalbin on the show. Let's get Zalbin.

I think Zalbin's been on the show, but it's been a really long time. We should get Alex Zalban. Nice hilarious man. Alex Zalban from Elephant Larry. But I remember Elephant Larry was the sketch comedy group I knew who had the strongest opinions about apples. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

There really is. I mean like- People go hard for their apples. I had noticed that. And they're right to do so. Like, I really think the gulf between high quality and low quality apples is just monumental. I would agree with that. I had a bad apple not two days ago. Sorry to hear that. Did it spoil the whole bunch?

It, yeah, man. Did it fall far from the tree? Well, it actually tastes pretty cummy is the- Oh, interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Was it the apple that I came in? Yeah, that will, you know- Well, that's why.

I thought you had a crisp zesty cum, I didn't know. I think that like, you could go to any grocery store and probably get an okay apple, right? Because you can get like a, it's not like you go to the grocery store and it's only Red Delicious or Granny Smith anymore, right? Like you can go to the grocery store, they got at least like a Fuji or something or a Honeycrisp. Yeah.

But man, I'll tell you, I love a sundowner. Oh boy, do I love a sundowner. Oh boy, do I love a sundowner. When it's sundowner season and I'm at that Pasadena farmers market and Mr. Ha from Ha's Apple Farm has sundowners for me. He's the guy. Oh boy. That on in a Cummys Norman, I'll tell you that much. Do you think we could get some Cummys in America?

Could we taste some Cummys on air? Do you think those are- Not with the tariffs, brother. Oh, the tariffs. We can make a documentary called Cummys in air? Do you think those are not with the tariffs brother? Tariffs we can make a documentary called now. I don't like him That was that was it. I was kind of on board. I got coming to america by the way. Fantastic. Thank you. Thank you fantastic, yeah Uh, let's take another call. Hello jordan jesse and guest. It's lest calling from fred from Frederick to New Brunswick with a momentous occasion. So my partner Dana and I are going to get a second cat. Our first

cat's name is Earl after the rapper Earl Sweatshirt. Also Earl doesn't have much hair so she does sometimes actually wear little sweatshirts. Well anyways, I called my mom to share the cat news that we're going to get another cat and she was very sweet asking about her and I quote, second grand cat's future name. And I told her that we're considering naming the cat Maude. And my mom seemed worried about this, remarking that my brother's wife is going to, is planning to name her new Roomba mod. So my mom seems to be a little bit worried that someone could get confused in conversation and not be able to figure out if someone is talking about a cat or a Roomba.

Dana suggested we could continue with the music theme and name our second cat Jarvis after Jarvis Cocker from the band Pulp. I guess this name would prevent any potential cat Roomba misunderstandings. Anyway, we're still searching for a good name if you have any suggestions. Pictures of cats are included. Okay, bye, I love you.

Love you too. This is a really interesting question to me. It is really interesting. Steven, can we see the cat photos? Maybe we can describe them for the listener. It's something just a funny little word choice in there that the sister-in-law is planning on naming the room a mod. Hasn't done it. Why is that something you share with your in-laws?

I'm all fucking locked up. Well they probably sent it out in their annual holiday card for the big plans for 2025. Saving up for the Roomba. We're buying the Roomba. Naming the Roomba mod. Right. Planning on. I don't like naming robots.

I'll say it. Yeah. I'm sure. Well I think they're really interesting. Don't say it on LinkedIn I'll say it. Yeah. I'm sure. Well, I think they're really interesting. Don't say it on LinkedIn, David. Yeah. Yeah. I think, I want to see the picture. I think you continue with the rapper theme though, and you name it Quop Dad 4000.

That would be good. I was going to stick with Odd Future, AKA Odd Future Wolfgang, Kill them all. I was thinking Haji Bats, because cats love to bat things. Instead of Haji Beats. Is that fun? They're always batting things around. I couldn't come up with anything for Sid the Kid. I was just thinking about Sid,

and then I was thinking about Frank, and then I realized, oh no, nearly as many of these. What about Sat the Cat? Yeah. Or the Cat Aider. No, I don't know, nearly as many of these. What about Sat the Cat? Yeah. Tyler the Cat Aider. No, that doesn't. Sat the Cat. Yeah, sure.

Why not? We just got a new cat, well, now like four or five months ago, to be honest. But we had a terrible time naming her. Really? Yeah. What was the issue? So she's hairless.

So she's already a freak. Wow. OK. Were you so she's hairless. So she's already a freak. Wow. Okay. Yeah. Are you shooting for a hairless or did you just see her and fall in love? Okay. It was, there was the whole, that was the whole plan. Yeah.

Tyler, the cat, a tour. That's what I was trying. I couldn't get there. Oh, there we go. There is, that's our way cut. Yeah, that we go. There is, can you see the white cat? Yeah, that's Earl. And then this hairless cat, Ish, is, could be Maude, could be Jarvis. Oh, how adorable.

I honestly think Ish is a good name for that hairless cat. It is. That is a stunning, these cats, they look like AI. These are some smooth ass weird cats. Can I tell you this? I know that we've been focusing or I have been focusing on thinking of puns about being a cat with the names of members of Odd Future. Can I just say that if you name the cat Casey Veggies, it doesn't even need to be a pun. That's already a cat's name, basically.

That's true. Was Casey Veggies in Odd Future? I thought he had his own thing going on. He was in Odd Future in the beginning. Oh, I didn't even know that. Yeah. I only like him solo. Just saying. Casey Veggies. Casey Veggies is fun. Oh, I didn't even know that. Yeah, I only like him solo saying Casey veggies Casey veggies is fun. David. What did you land on with your hairless? Oh grandma? That's fun. That's fun

She ever oh, yeah, please show it off. Does she have a grandma ish? What a little guy. This cat's incredible. She's amazing. What a little weirdo. So good. It's so good. She's the best. It looks like a background alien in Star Wars that people become obsessed with. Yeah. And then sometimes she's just looking at you.

I love who you looked at. Yeah, I looked at some kind of space piccolo. Yeah. She looks like she's going to ask you to answer these riddles three. She also looks like she's old and young at the same time. If a hairless cat I be, then answer me these riddles three. If some hair I find on you, then only answer riddles two. See, that's why they pay you the big bucks. Yeah.

I'd have to answer three. Give me dinner. I haven't had dinner yet. I'm fully clean shaven. I think you have. If you want to give us a call, 206-984-4-FUN, or just send us a voice memo at jjgoatmaximumfun.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jesse Goh.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Hey there. Do you like books about various shades of gray? Maybe 50 of them? Or books about winged men searching for soulmates? Is your e-reader full of stories that would pair well with Barry White in the background? We're Bria and Mallory of Reading Glasses and we have a brand new show for people who crave reads with just a dash of Sriracha sauce. That's right. Every other Friday we dive into books that

could be measured on the Scoville scale and talk to the people who love them. You can find our new show by visiting maximumfun.org slash spicy. That's maximumfun.org slash spicy. That's maximumfun.org slash spicy. Hello, internet. I'm your husband, host Travis McElroy. And I'm your wife, host Teresa McElroy. And this is a promo for Schmaners. It's extraordinary etiquette. For ordinary occasions.

Every week, we're gonna tell you about a bit of culture, a bit of history, how etiquette still applies in the modern day, all that stuff. We also love to do biographies and histories of and, you know, general procedurals, how to do etiquette in today's society. So come check it out every Friday on maximumfund.org or wherever you find your podcasts. Maners, shmaners, get it? It's Jordan Jesse Goh, I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, boy detective. Oh, uh. You were fucking bragging. I know. Cranberry Tortuga Junior, purveyor of exotic meats on Instagram is Barry Torts. Cranberry Tortuga's. Obviously my father. David Borey, I can't help but notice as we record this that you're wearing a Gulf Breeze

bait and tackle hat. Is this something you brought back from Mexico? No, this was in Pensacola, Florida. I went in there and I liked their hat. Okay. Are you a fishing man? When the need arises, I do it sometimes. Oh, only when you're hungry? Is that what you're saying? Yeah, yeah.

I have a big keep what you call it. I got all this coleslaw, but I need something to eat it with. Where'd all this slaw come from? I got a Hudson Grouper, earn my keep. No, yeah, I'm enough. Enough of a fishing guy, I guess. That was Pensacola. Oh, buddy. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'm enough enough of a fishing guy. That was Pensacola. Oh

Buddy, yeah Okay No, I mean listen, it's a no more there's there's there's stuff that's fun to do I it's one of those play do you ever have towns where you're just like why have I found myself here seven times? That's sort of how yeah, it's a cola me. Like, why am I fucking back? Pensacola, you old bitch. We keep drawing you back to Pensacola, David. The first couple of times I had a friend who was in the Navy down there when we were like 18, 19.

So that was how I went there the first couple of times. I think that I've done comedy down there once and then another few times just driving through. Was the comedy there at Debate and Tackle? No, no, no. I mean, I was riffing. Oh, yeah. I was getting my shit off, but no, no. There wasn't a mic, I guess.

There wasn't a, you know, stage. The guy who owned the store was like, all right, bait buyer got jokes. Yeah, yeah. He was like, all right, I'll show you where we keep the grouper chiefs. Doing a little crowd work. Look at this guy over here buying bait. Look at this guy buying

bait. You guys on a date? They weren't. Ten million views on Netflix. Yeah. David Borey. Comedians smash his bait shop. You guys probably know me from my videos. Sure. I call you the master bait

because of how well you did in the bait shop. Also because of my well you did in the bitch. Yeah. Also, because of my coming normans. Oh, yeah, right. And the commies. Got to win the coming this year. Mother, may I have another coming? Sure.

I think you guys could be up for a coming this year if you play your cards. Oh, God. It's just a fucking popularity contest. It's just a fucking industry bullshit. I can't, I can't even, I'm not going to pay $500 to submit to the Cummys. Yeah. Well, they say 80% of Cummys winners grow their business. I know. It's an investment in yourself.

Honestly, I'm here on behalf of the Cummys. Oh, I didn't know that. It's no big deal. I'm tied in with Big Cummys. I don't want't know that. It's no big deal. I'm tied in with big Cummie. I don't have to brag.

Well, my Cummie's gonna be pretty big because I've been edging for a number of days. Then you're a shoo-in. Okay. Is that how you win, load size? Yeah, yeah. No, I thought how you win is by putting a shoe in. I hope they know we're talking about cum.

Yeah. Oh, they do. Trying to keep this clean. Okay, David Borey, one of the hosts of My Mama Told Me and All Fantasy Everything. What have you fantasied recently? We just did romance. Oh. Oh, beautiful. beautiful. That's really lovely.

To be very sweet, actually. Yeah, everybody was. It was like not a ton of grand gestures. Everybody kind of picked the little stuff. Oh, what did you pick? What did you go with? It's a show, by the way, where you have a fantasy draft for different subject matters. I think I have my list here. Obviously, Cummy Norman. Right.

Naturally. Bait and tackle. Sharing memories together. Bait and tackle. Killing at the bait shop. Is this your first date? That kind of thing. No, I picked remembering stuff together.

What else? This just says, what if AI learns to braid hair? That's gonna be a good bit. Yeah, everybody's aunt and sister is gonna be out of business. You know, the worry is that it wasn't a bit. Concern. Legitimate concern. You were just writing it so you could squish it up and put it with your worry dolls under your pillow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like a lot of all this stuff. It also says the charisma of deviance.

I don't know what's going on in my notes. I just did, it was a lot of little stuff. It was like remembering stuff together, buying groceries for the other person, like, oh, so and so would like this. And then I can't remember the other thing. I feel like worry dolls don't come up in my life like they did in 1992. I feel like in 1992, I couldn't go into a, I mean, granted, was I in San Francisco? Yes. Yeah.

But I couldn't go into a store without some Salvadoran, maybe, worry dolls being available for sale and you tell your worries to them and you put them under your pillow. I think it's how they work But I think that now you have an online you can find a community you can find r-slash-worry Kind of unloaded there, you know, I mean, it wouldn't be as multicultural wouldn't go with my striped balloon pants. That's That's fair and your starter jacket someone sent me the other day a nostalgia Instagram that was called San Francisco Nostalgia or something like that. And there was a person going around with a video camera inside of The Nature Company, which was like a store that sold like one of those lightning balls, but also sold like realistic stuffed animals

where part of the money goes to. You wanted to feel like you were getting an educational toy for a kid, but like not really, you know? They had like a rain stick? Yeah, you know they had rain sticks. Okay, I know exactly what. For sure. Where did all the rainsticks go by the way?

I thought that's what adulthood was going to be and they took them from us. Wait, you thought adulthood would just be playing rainsticks? Yeah, and having sex. No, that's UC Santa Cruz, David. That's UC Santa Cruz, where we went to college. Okay, David, it's always a joy to see you. Jordan Jessi goes, theme music is love you by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records.

Our thanks to them. Join us on social media. We're on Reddit at rslashmaximumfun. You can follow us on Instagram at jordanjessegopod, which we would encourage you to do. We are also on Instagram under our own names, jessethneveryfamous and jordandavidmoris. Real quick, I did google r slash worry. Uh huh. Took me to r slash anxiety.

Okay. First post over here of r slash anxiety. How to cry? Question mark. How to cry? Nice try AI. My face dry. We're also on Blue Sky, Jordan Jesse go. And we'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jesse go. Love you.