Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Denim Denim Denim with David Gborie

Episode Date: September 1, 2022

David Gborie joins Jordan and Jesse to talk being nude in front of others, who is the best character in Taxi and what exactly hacking is. Check out David's podcast All Fantasy Everything.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris here with a robot fucking update. Great, thank God. I have been on, as they say, tenterhooks, wondering what's going on with robot fucking Jordan, and I'm so glad that you came here ready with an update for me. Well, this is one specific robot, namely the robot from Rocky IV that was discussed a few weeks ago on this show. Yeah. So for folks who don't remember, Rocky IV has a robot

butler in it. The robot butler, it is perhaps implied in the film Rocky IV that the robot butler has fucked Pauly, the trainer. Not entirely clear. There has been, over the past few years, some back and forth over potential director's cut that might have more or less of the robot butler. Yeah. So, this was something that I think we were talking about with a little bit of Mandela effect on it. I think that, you know, it's one of those things that kind of like you bring up in conversation that someone kind of half remembers. I think it is in the same zone as the ghost blowjob from Ghostbusters. Dan Aykroyd getting the...

In the ghost blowjob, I watched Ghostbusters recently. The ghost blowjob is very real and very inappropriate, very weird and upsetting in the context of that film, which, you know, granted, not probably imagined to be a children's film when they were making it, but certainly is out of character with the rest of the film, both in terms of its comic tone and in terms of its level of explicitness. Right. We do see the pants being undone, I think. Yeah. But you're not seeing, you know, a penis go into a ghost mouth. No. I mean, I don't even know. I'm not 100% on whether ghosts have mouths, although I guess where would their banshee screams come from? Right. Actually, ghosts don't have mouths. Banshees do. It's kind of an alligator crocodile thing.

Have you seen the dick sucking scene that got cut from Darby O'Gill and the Little People, speaking of? Yeah, you could get that on a region-free Blu-ray. Yeah, you gotta get the South Korean version. Sure, yeah, but it's in there. Yeah. And it's hot. South Koreans love leprechauns. A lot of people don't know that. Oh, yeah. Anything leprechaun. How do they feel about oral sex? Yeah. I mean, they're about the same on it as most, but leprechauns they're super into. Yeah. It was one of these things that we were kind of like going back and forth on. And I think some people don't remember this at all. And some people remember a full on man to robot penetration scene. That's just how memory works. Right. Who penetrates who in some people's memory?

Exactly, Jesse. Exactly. Who watches The Watchmen? Who penetrate who? Yeah. The robot, as I remember, maybe has like a VHS tape slot or something. Well, so what I did was I wanted to set the record straight. I didn't want to watch all of Rocky IV, but I did pull up a YouTube video that had assembled the robot scenes. Okay, great. I said it had a VCR. It has a car stereo. Excuse me.

Yeah. So kind of how this plays out is it's Pauly's birthday. He's wearing a tiny cowboy hat. Very funny. Sylvester Stallone brings in the robot. It kind of comes in in this terrifying shot, like, you know, it was Godzilla looming over the city. There's this kind of

Kraftwerk-esque music playing and the robot says in a robot voice that is kind of in line with the music, happy birthday, Polly. Okay. Like that. So wait, it's in line with the music, like an electro rap song? It kind of sounds like it's part of the song. Okay. Some hijinks ensue, a kid sprays Polly with whipped cream. That's the end of the scene. Lots of fun. And then we come back later in the film toward the end. The robot comes back. And instead of having that terrifying, happy birthday, Polly, voice, it has a sexy lady's voice. It pours Polly a beer. And then while it's kind of blasting this kind of, you know, Sade type song. And then everyone kind of looks at

Pauly and he's like, who taught it to talk like that, they say. And then he just says, that's my girl. And then it leaves and the camera lingers on it. And the robot's boxy. It's a rectangle. But the camera lingers on the robot leaving like it was zooming in on a butt, like a sexy butt walking away, you know, like when Patrick Swayze gets up out of bed to close the curtains. Like in a buttish manner? Yeah, like a buttish manner. So the camera's filming the robot like we're objectifying its butt. So I'm looking at a picture of the robot. I feel like I did a bad job describing it. It has a round sternum camera. It looks like a camera. Above that, it has a blinky head that looks like the Lombardi trophy, which is the NFL

championship trophy. Below that, it has a round sort of like a large ring camera or a small howl eye. Below that, it has a green display. That's the car stereo I was thinking of. And that looks like droopy boobs. And then down below what would be the robot's waistline, there's a wider round-cornered console that maybe has a cassette tape area, which is where you would put your deck. Right.

So to say that Pauly fucks the robot is people making a leap. Right. He is clearly has feelings for the robot. Right. And you know, like I, not, not all relationships have a sexual component. It could just be a comfort thing. It could just be kind of for companionship. So I think it is disingenuous to say that he fucks the robot, but I don't think it's out of line to say that he loves the robot. It's an example of inductive reasoning. Right. So you have A and C and B may be inferred from A and C. Even if you're not certain of what B is, you can make a reasonable inference. And the reasonable inference, the certainty is that they have man-robot love.

Right. The extrapolation here, the inference is that that love has a sexual component, that Polly either becomes tumescent and enters that tape deck slot, or from the tape deck slot emerges some kind of steel member, which plows Polly stimulating his prostate. Or not all man-robot relationships are like that. They could lie next to each other and either stimulate each other or themselves manually. Right. Or none of the above. So I think, you know, when we're all sitting around remembering, you know, the movies of our youth, half remembering the movies of our youth. Yeah. I't think we should say that in Rocky IV, Pauly fucks a robot. I think we should say in Rocky IV, Pauly loves a robot. Would you say that the robot is polyamorous?

You know what? I would now, because I've seen the South Korean region-free DVD. Great. It has some secondary partners, but it and Pauly are fluid bonded, which means that Pauly can come inside it. Yeah. Pauly comes motor oil, by the way. Sure. That's something he dealt with his entire life.

It was mostly a problem until he met the robot. Right. Will I ever find anyone? Yeah. Is the question he asked himself. Yeah. And he ended up finding that Lombardi trophy with red blinky lights on it. The rest, of course, is herstory.

Our guest on the program, favorite around these parts, one of the hosts of the All Fantasy Everything podcast, stand-up comic, a Denverite, a legend of the Mile High City, standing astride the city like, I don't know, John Elway, I guess, or a craft beer. Standing aside the city like a fleece jacket.

Folks, you've heard him on parts of Paramount Plus. Not all of Paramount Plus, but a lot of times when you pick something on Paramount Plus, there's David Borey. Our guest is David Borey. Hey, guys. What a joy to have you here. What a joy to be here. Hey, David, what are the new episodes of Beavis and Butthead dropping? September 23rd. Wow.

I got it. Just like that. I could turn it on and off. Hell yeah, man. Anytime. I like when I'm buying cars, love making. Anytime. Anybody can get the voice.

Oh, man. And thanks for indulging us. I know it's kind of annoying when people make you say your catchphrase. No, it's fine. It's fine. Not too hot for baby. That's my other one. Is that a show on Parabelt Plus?

Yeah, that's coming. It's Cheech Marin and Eric Estrada, actually. Wow. Great. Thank goodness. I only watch Taxi on there, so. Is Taxi on there? Yeah.

Hell yeah. Taxi's on there. And fucking Taxi rules. The other day I was watching Taxi and Danny DeVito said to Tony Danza, I wish you were a little bit smarter so you could understand how dumb you are. Man. Beautiful. Great.

Got you, Danza. And that cheers you up after you've listened to that sad ass theme song fucking love how sad that theme song is oh man regret your life nothing has ever made me ready to laugh like that long sad sequence of a fucking taxi cab crossing a bridge just a bridge from disappointment to disappointment. That's the major Dugan Expressway in New York goes from disappointment to further disappointment. David, man, I'm jealous of your hoodie. It's been hot as balls in LA. I try and be hot positive. It's harder and harder to be that these days.

Hot's out, baby. It's cold season. What's it like being cold? Tell us about it. Well, I've had a crazy day in that I was at the hot springs. So I've been a lot of temperatures today. Whoa. Oh, great. Let's get into it. Should we go cold to hot, hot to cold?

Should we jump all over the place? I mean, I started out in the thermal caves. Okay. What the fuck is that? You go underground. It's a bunch of naked dudes. And then you just keep getting these pools underground, and it's so hot. Wait, where, what are these caves?

It's not like a, I don't, like, physically? What's happening? Is that what you're asking me? I guess we just, what we need is total information. Am I not doing this right? This is going to be a soup to nuts situation, just as the water in that cave is a soup to nuts situation, just as the water in that cave is a soup to nuts situation. Sure. Start from the beginning when the earth was young and gases were

cooling the surface. Listen, I'm not, I'm not a doctor. I don't, I don't know the science between the hot springs. I just get in and loosen up. It's in the basement. That by the way, is what they teach in medical. Well, not in medical school but in residency yeah that's you that's on the job medical school is cadavers and shit and then when you get to residency that's the part where they teach you how geothermal warming is that do you know how i mean maybe you can explain it was a basement full of baths there was one side for men one side for women i went in there. Like when you first walk in, there's a bunch of naked people who were like shell shocked

because they just got out of the hot. And it's like, it's like very jarring. It's so hot in there. Yeah. They're losing blood from their penis shrinking. Oh man. Listen, there was a couple of big ones in there. That's great.

Good for those guys. What are the, when does one do this? Like you're like, that's great. Good for those guys. When does one do this? You're like, let's go. Are you like, I had a tough week or I'm sore from a exercise regimen? Why go? I meet my little brothers in town and I wanted to show them the best that the mile high has to offer. So I said, let's go sweat next to some ding-dongs. Every time one of my brothers is in town. I prefer sweating next to a snowball. Fair. I sweat next to ho-hos, but that's like. Your boy only sweats next to little Debbie, folks. That's my girl. Contractually, I understand. If you've been sweating next to another snack cake and you

come home to little debbie she can smell it on you yeah she says that a goddamn home run pie yeah you told me you weren't texting that twinkie yeah i smell too thick cherry everybody knows those zebra cakes are whores yeah i'll suck your dick like a robot sorry they'll love you like a robot when my brothers are in town like you i serve there's a lot of activities available here in los angeles but i i try and choose a dick out one yeah for the boys that's just like a fun me and bubba me and big john that's my brothers hanging dong with big john hanging dong with john i didn't hang dong though i i had shorts on which kind of i felt

like a coward a little bit yeah i was gonna ask how you felt about you know that kind of public bathing kind of exercise nudity i would love to be be more European about it than I was. I'll tell you that. Yeah. I was like, man, I just, I don't know. I worry too. The water was so hot. I know that it's like not protecting me, but I feel like there's a layer of protection there just in case. But yeah, I'm fine with the nudity. I, you know, take it off. I can't get with it. I'm not anywhere. Are you a never nude? I'll be nude in a, let's say my girl, my wife, Teresa, not a robot. She's seen me nude. Right.

But I don't think, you know, granted, my brothers are much younger than I. Same. Seven or eight and 14 years younger than me. 14 is my little brother. He's 14 years younger than me. So my brothers, I don't think I have seen their dongs post-adolescence. Oh, I know. Same.

This would have been a first for both of us. Yeah. Did your brother wear shorts? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I think he was wearing, were you wearing shorts and underwear in the, in the hot springs? He's in the room. Yeah. He's right there fun reveal yeah right i i think i'm with you i mean i think i have gotten comfortable with that kind of locker room spa schwitz type nudity right i was not for the longest time i definitely you know was not a sports guy i was not changing in the high school locker room. Wait, you weren't changing in the high school? How? So the only sport I did in high

school was swimming. And when I would do that, I would wear my swimsuit under my jeans. And then I would kind of like in the parking lot, kind of towel. In the parking lot? Yeah. I would kind of towel change the swimsuit off and then pull on the jeans, staying as clothed and concealed as possible. I didn't do it in high school either. I didn't do it in middle school or high school. Both my middle school and high school did not have locker rooms. My high school, shout out School of the Arts in San Francisco, our gym was, we did not have a gym. And then it was all in a elementary school for children with disabilities. So we did not have a full set of high school stuff. No science lab with 12 sinks or whatever. No chemistry lab with vials. And I might be thinking of the movie Frankenstein.

Or Weird Science, I think. Yeah. But you could make babes out of pages of Playboy magazine, right? Yeah. That's all we did. It was a school, right? It's called a little something called art, Jordan. Get familiar.

No, hey, listen, I've cut pages out of a Playboy, shoved them into a dot matrix printer to create a magic babe that turns my brother into a monster. I've done that, okay? I was 16 once. I didn't get to do that kind of stuff until I got to college when I became Jeremy Piven and invited George Clinton to play on campus. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Piv. David, did you do high school sports and did you change in the locker room? I did do high school sports. I you change in the locker room? I did do high school sports. I did change in the locker room.

I didn't shower much in the locker room. Like, cause I would just shower when I got home. Like I would go to football practice, change into practice clothes. But then after practice, I wouldn't shower. I would just go home to shower. Unless it was like an away game, then you got to do it. Then you just got to go in there. You got to.

You got to do the away games. What are you going to do? Take it out. My best friend when I was a kid, Pete, he played both football and rugby. He played like organized rugby in the park on weekends. And the two things that I remember most vividly about those situations were how smelly he would become in those. Like I'd come over on Saturday afternoon to his house in Bernal Heights and just the whole house would be full of teenager smell.

Ooh, that's a bad musk. The other thing I remember is him just, I think Sundays was rugby, and he'd just be in the living room of his house just going, because he just gets so fucked up playing rugby every weekend. It's just a violent sport for hurting. Yeah, I'm not into getting hurt, man. What was the worst hurt you ever got playing high school football? My feelings.

No, I don't know. My knee pops out now. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Does it act up when there's a storm coming? No, no. Yeah. It's like a divining rod.

It can't find water. If you're in it can't find water if you're in the desert yeah if i'm in the desert jack's the old trickney trickney pops out i get an erection there's water about that's how it works right yeah that's that's how it works that's how you found those goddamn caves right yeah exactly yeah due north i followed my knee in my boner right underground. I think I'm kind of with you on this Hot Springs thing. I think I would like, if I was there by myself or with the gang or with a lover, I think I would like to go nude. But yeah, I think if I was there for a family member, I'd keep the shorts on.

Would you fuck in a Hot Spring, Jordan? Oh, boy. How hot? how private and can i bring my own speaker that is playing craft work i do you can only have that's sexy robot i can only come when i hear happy birthday polly as a teen i did some activities once in a hot tub. And what I remember, I mean, granted, all teen activities contain both the extraordinary thrill of touching a romantic interest's body slash seeing it, et cetera, right? Like that overrides all other things.

But everything else about them is pretty bad. But this was the worst of the bad because the water you think is going to be wet, but it's actually dry. Does that make sense? Oh, you're talking about getting a knobber and a hot tub. Yeah. It doesn't, it doesn't act as a lubricant. Like you think it would underwater. No part of it works. It's the same principle of when you're very, very, very thirsty and then try and drink sparkling water. And you're like, why is this not working? It's the exact same end result. Yeah, sure. And Jordan, just as Pauly ejaculates motor oil, and as we learned, David Borey ejaculates hot water, I ejaculate carbon dioxide bubbles. Yeah, they call you the old soda stream.

If you shove one of those flavor capsules up your ass, you can get it lime flavored. I put my dick right into one of those sort of classic seltzer bottles. You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a clown uses. W.C. Fields famous. Right. I like to put my dick into an old timey soda machine glass. Like, you know, when they did it with the ice cream and the sprinkles. Right. Oh, God. Yeah. Make an egg cream.

Sure. That's where the phrase soda jerk comes from. It's not because the guy's unpleasant. I also like to stick my dick in a good malt. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Not to brag. I like it when you get the glass of cum but

then they give you the uh little metal cylinder afterwards so that's where i make my money yeah that's the top tier of your only fans david yeah that's just me it's my metal cup and i'm just jizzing in it is that what only fans is i think i could make in it. Is that what OnlyFans is? I think I could make some money. I think that's what OnlyFans is. They tried to transition away from the metal cups of jizz, but the user is rebelled.

Right, yeah. Can I ask you guys realistically, how long do you think it would take you to fill one of those ice cream metal cups with jizz? Great question. Thanks, David. I'm glad you brought this up. A lot of our guests don't read the outlines that we provide, and I really appreciate that you did. He does the reading. Great question. I think, geez, I'm trying to imagine my own load.

Get in the mind of your load. Yeah. And I'm wondering what's the most efficient way to do this? Is it like a daily standard size load? Do you wait and do a biweekly larger load? If the goal is to fill this up as fast as possible, which... That's it. Okay. That's it. Jordan, sorry, I just have to do a quick bit of business here. Yeah. Daniel, remember to submit this one for the Peabody. Yeah. The penis body. The penis body. Can you get us a Polk for this? A Thurber?

I think I could fill the cup in six months. Really? Yes. That is ambitious. Do you drink a lot of water? Yeah. I'm always hydrating. So results of having a kidney stone kind of early in life, I always hydrate, drink a lot of water and just in advance, letting you know that it's going to be, it's going to be pineapple flavored. Do you take zinc? I do take zinc. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's why. Does that affect the load? Yeah. that's for throwing ropes.

Really? Yeah. Huh. Zinc is for ropes. Zinc is for ropes. Zinc is for ropes. Interesting. Yeah, oh yeah.

That's the kids. Jordan. Not the kids. As Omar Khayyam said in the Rubaiyat, ah, fill the cup. What boots it to repeat how time is slipping underneath our feet, unborn tomorrow and dead yesterday? Why fret about them if today be sweet about six months beautiful that's what kayam said in the rubaiyat beautiful as true today as it was then one moment in annihilation's waste

one moment of the well of life to taste this poem is so jizz friendly when it comes to explication are there poems that aren't that's a good point man most that's a good point the plums in the refrigerator yeah right yeah it's kind of yeah i got it goes back to the bible song of solomon that's all about solomon it's all about blasted fat loads. Oh, that's about throwing ropes. Yeah. Can I ask you guys a question? Have you ever been to a soda shop where they have the whole things and they, this is, I'm just moving off the jizz cup for a moment. Yeah. But we should get back to it because I think I was the only one that answered.

Okay. For me, have I taken my saw palmetto for men's prostate health yeah it's just your regular you regular you where you're on your regular routine whatever lotions potions and salves get you through it's a huge cup that's what i think it's a huge cup it's wide and deep it's one of those things where you say which is the bigger cup, the short, wide one, or the tall, skinny one, and it turns out they're the same. But actually, this one is wide and tall. Yeah, it's a huge cup.

It's like a lot of juice. I mean, Jordan, would you be going down to the swimming hole every day in this scenario? I mean, here's what I think I would do. I would use the first month to test various load sizes. Okay. I would do a week. So do you have load control? Is that what you're suggesting here?

No. I mean, I obviously like, I think like David said, there's things you can do to affect the load, hydrating, zinking. Yeah. Again, saw palmetto for prostate health. Yeah, that's something. PyGM. Like, obviously, if this is a contest that we're all entering into, we should...

Whoa, is this a contest? Oh, I didn't... I did not... I thought we were just evaluating. I didn't know there was a value judgment in here. I thought we were just getting the lay of the land. The lay of the cup, I guess. After pandemic, I promised myself no more jizz-offs.

I think we can all relate. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. But yeah, I think what I would do is I would use the first month to kind of test various loads. Like, is it, what do I get daily versus what do I get weekly versus what do I get, you know, biweekly? What do I get daily versus what do I get weekly versus what do I get biweekly? And then kind of decide on one that feels like it's producing the most volume. And then for the remaining five months or however long till the thing's filled, I stick with that.

Okay. So there would be a period of analysis. Would you be A-B testing like a web designer working on a cart checkout or like somebody sending email blasts. Yeah. So to speak. Yeah. Testing subjects.

Also, are you going to have some kind of blind loads? Yeah. Does that make sense? Right. Yeah. Somebody has to not know that you're jizzing on them as a control. Yeah. Yeah.

That's where my good friend, Mr. Magoo comes in. For the double blind load test. I get it. Mr. Magoo is what i call my loads sure and i think i could probably six months i'm saying half a year for you hey how about this mr magoo meet my mr goo sure that's it's also something you could say i don't know. I mean, what's a podcast if not saying words? Okay. So I think it would take me literal years, actual years. I mean, and I would be concerned about, the thing is, is even if you put saran wrap on top, saran wrap is porous. We learned that from Cooks Illustrated. America's Test Kitchen taught us that. You have to wrap it first in saran wrap so it doesn't get freezer burn,

then in foil because the foil is not porous. So even if I did that, I think years for me. I think, yeah, I guess maybe something I didn't take into account is like storage. I mean, have you ever even seen Storage Wars? I don't think that's what it's about. That's what it's about. Yup. People fitting on lockers full of cum. Yeah, just like random load lockers.

That's the thing. If I was allowed to enter auctions, I could fill it up a lot faster. Oh, well, yeah, sure. Of course. I have the resources. David, do you have an estimate? I'm with Jesse, man. It's an amount thing.

Listen, we're're talking what's that cup 45 ounces maybe 40 45 fluid ounces that seems right what are you doing in one load like a sixth of an ounce something like that yeah it's not a ton we're not talking about a shot glass ago here yeah at all i wish i should be so lucky yeah glass of time. That seems like too much to be frank. Yeah. I think I would go every two days and then, man, I don't see how I could, you know, maybe 18 months. If I'm zinking, if I'm zinking my loads. Hard zinking. I'm hard zinking. Would you be using saw palmetto for men's health? I'd be using all of it. Okay. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm getting massages. Yeah. 18 months, but I think two years probably. I guess the main problem is I'm nofap. Oh. Right, right, right.

Yeah, because you want to achieve your full potential. I'm focusing my energy right now on getting my real estate license. Passive income is my main thing. So that's understandable. So what are you filling this milkshake cup with? Yeah, I guess that would be taking a back seat. Passive income, I guess. Generational wealth.

Yeah. NFTs. Yeah. God, I'd love to put some of those horny monkeys or whatever they're called in there. Sure. The ones that Seth Green draws. Oh, yeah. Those monkeys. Now they could fill a milkshake cup oh my god two weeks did you guys read this story where

justin long stole seth green's horny monkeys i don't know is this i don't understand is this a code it's something about nfts he went and i don't know this is a different guys from movies and television so that the mac guy stole robot chickens monkeys i don't know, this is a different guys from movies and television. So the Mac guy stole robot chickens, monkeys. I don't know. Well, I heard hackers and I assumed. I don't know what hacking is, to be honest. I think it's just really fast typing. Yeah. It seems possible. Nobody's ever explained it to me. It seems like there's a few key buttons you can press. And I don't know which of these,

I mean, like scroll lock. It might be that one. I don't know which of these, I mean, like scroll lock. It might be that one. I don't know if I've ever pressed that. That's integral. And I think num lock is integral in hacking. I think anything is hacking as long as at the end you say we're in. Yeah, that's it. That's the definition of hacking.

Then it's hacking. We're in. Yeah, I like that. This break button that I have here. You have a break button? This is either a hacking button or conversely, a quarterbacking button. Oh. Right?

It could go either way. It could go either way. I've never quarterbacked or hacked, but that seems like something that could belong to either one. I feel like we've all done a little hacking, maybe like on accident. Right? Right? Sure.

Well, there was that one time when I raised the nation's DEF CON to dangerous levels. Yeah. That was a hack. Yeah. That was a hack. And there's a lot of times when I've accidentally enhanced. Yeah. And I, I've made a lot of jokes about airplane food.

Come on guys. We're doing it. Thanks David. Great work. We'll be back in just a second. I'm Jordan. Jesse go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, boy detective. Now, Jordan, every episode of Jordan, Jesse, go ultimately brought to you by you. When Morris, boy, detective. Now, Jordan, every episode of Jordan Jesse Goh, ultimately brought to you by you. When I say you, I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about you, the listener to Jordan Jesse Goh. That's right. Jordan Jesse Goh is an audience supported program. Thanks to all the members of Maximum Fun who've gone to MaximumFun.org slash join and become a member of Maximum Fun. And now a word from our sponsor, BetterHelp. Now, Jordan, my brain is a highly tuned machine, like an Italian Ferrari car. And if you've got a highly tuned machine, like an Italian Ferrari car, you're going to want to stop into the mechanic every once in a while to change your oil plugs. Hey, grease monkey, you say, give me the good

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you know, what I like, how I like to make my coffee. I let them know that I added cream, team cream. Are you on the LA cream team? I got kicked off the cream team. Okay. I was cream juicing. But I still do like cream in my coffee. And the good folks at Trade sent me Sightglass Organic Blue Boon. Jesse, this is the best cup of coffee I have ever made at home.

For real? It's so good. I was blown away that it came from my home. It's delicious. Does this have notes or? Yeah, it's got notes up the butt. Okay, not only is it like delicious, but it is exactly what I want in a cup of coffee. I know sometimes like you have a high quality product or a, you know, a trendy food thing and you're like, I recognize this is good. This isn't maybe exactly what I want. I can tell that this is not only high quality, but it is exactly in my zone.

Trade Coffee, they partner with top independent roasters to freshly roast and send the best coffees in the country directly to your home on your preferred schedule. I totally love it. I'm excited to finish this bag. I'm excited to get the new bag. And the quiz is really fun. I think if you brew with like a pod like I do, or if you have the fucking chemistry set, if you're using a Bunsen burner and a graduated cylinder, they've got something for you too.

I'm having a blast drinking my trade coffee. I think you would really like it if you are a coffee nut. So if you want to support small businesses and brew the best cup of coffee you've ever made at home, it's time to try Trade Coffee. Right now, Trade is offering our listeners a total of $30 off your first order plus free shipping at drinktrade.com slash jjgo. That's drinktrade.com

slash jjgo for $30 off your subscription to the best coffees in the country. Hey, remember, we are now on Twitter at JordanJesseGo. You can send your corrections to us there. We're accepting corrections. Or let's see, you got a dank meme you want us to share? We'll share your dank meme. Doesn't even have to be about JordanJesseGo. We don't give a shit.

Yeah, general memes. Yeah, we're just going to be one of those things where we just take pictures of other people's tweets and just post those. Sorry, Morgan Murphy. That's what we do now. We're the new Fuck Jerry. Yeah. Anyway, follow us on Twitter at JordanJesseGo.

We'll post, you know, if we talk about things, we'll post about them. You can find out about stuff our past guests have been up to. Our cool guests are always up to something cool. All that kind of cool stuff at JordanJesseGo on Twitter. Of course, we're always on Facebook, facebook.com slash JordanJesseGo. We'll be back in just a second on the program. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la He knows. Beloved recurring guest. Have you guys seen the TikTok lawyer with the hairpiece and the gold rings? No. It sounds right up my alley.

I basically watch no TikToks. No? Yeah, I don't have TikTok. I only know the TikToks that people post on my old man social medias. And that's enough for me because it doesn't suck me in and I get to sip the cream. Yeah. Yeah. But one of the creams is this, he's sort of like a Lindsey Graham-ish type figure.

Okay. Like a- I like him already. Like a vaguely flamboyant in an old timey way, like a Liberace-esque way. Ooh. Southern man with a blonde hairpiece, possibly a full wig, a full blonde wig,

who has gold rings on all of his fingers and points at the screen a lot and tells you not to talk to the cops. Okay. Yeah. That sounds just like most of my high school. Just Google Southern hairpiece lawyer gold rings and you'll see it. Look, this is, I have something that I need to- And because he's on TikTok, does he tell you if you have ADHD? Yeah, he does. I have a momentous occasion for us. Lay it on us. This is the segment. It's the second thing in the show. This is when we do this. How appropriate. Nothing happens to me normally. So I felt obliged to share this. I took one of my kids to therapy. Therapy's 50 minutes long. I have to find something to do. So I was wandering around South Pasadena. You know how it is. You're visiting South Pasadena

Vintage. You're going to Videodrome. I think there's a soup plantation there. I don't know. Videotech, Videodrome. Much more unpleasant experience. But then you can be born again in the new flesh. You're in the Thunderdome with Tina Turner. Yeah. And James Woods shoots you with his gun arm. I was in the streets of South Pasadena, just kind of walking casually, you know. Nice area. I hear behind me, you know, those videos that explain the Doppler effect,

where it's like, why does a siren seem to go like that? Cause it's driving past you. I know that, but I don't know that there's videos that explain it. Yeah. There's videos that explain it. That's what public television is, Jordan. Ah, interesting. It's that and those Mark Russell specials. Oh yeah. I love those. And like nuns talking about art. Okay. That's fun.

So I was in the streets of South Pasadena. That basically happened to me. So behind me, I just heard Razor, Razor. And then a man passed me on an electric scooter. He was singing his presence? He goes, Razor. He's in the street. He wasn't trying to get anybody out of the way. He was singing to himself. Razor, Razor. He's in the street. He wasn't trying to get anybody out of the way. He was singing to himself. Razor, Razor. So it's not like an on your left thing where he's letting people know there's a Razor coming. This dude was cruising in the bike lane and he just, to himself, in what I can only describe as a reverie, was just going, Razor, Razor, Razor, Scooter.

Give me your answer, too. I'm half crazer, all for the love of Scoot. So I let him out of the goddamn airlock. That's pretty good off the dome, huh? That was great. You're a regular David Diggs, Jordan. Oh, man. I wish.

Don't we all. So that was momentous. That's really good. Thatiggs, Jordan. Oh, man. I wish. Don't we all. So that was momentous. That's really good. That's really good. I'm glad you saw that. It was a magical moment for me. It was like seeing the Northern Lights. When I'm driving around in my Prius, I'm always singing, I'm driving in my Prius.

I'm driving in my Prius. And then you come. Otherwise, you can't orgasm. That's true. Yeah. I've got to fill that milkshake cup somehow, huh? So I keep it in the cupm. That's true. Yeah. I've got to fill that milkshake cup somehow, huh? So I keep it in the cup holder. That's a great.

Hey, hon, I'm going to go ride the Prius around, fill up a couple loads for the milkshake. No, I'll be back. I just got to clear my head. Stop and get the dry cleaning. Yeah, this cup's not going to fill itself. It's what they call a plug-in hybrid. I don't know what that means. I like it.

I like it. What is a podcast if not saying words? It's good. Just say car stuff. Overdrive. Now, David, that's what Momentous Occasions is. It's people calling us at 206-9844-FUN or emailing us voicememos at jjgoe at maximumfun.org. Why is it a Seattle number? Oh, you know, we keep it drizzly. I like that. Good for you. Shorts in the rain. That's what our voicemail number is all about. Hey, hey, seasonal affective disorder. All right. You got it. Sad in the fall. Who needs the sun? We got all this flannel. Yeah. We have nothing but contempt for fleece sleeves. Only the torso is fleeced. Washington state. It's not for me.

You're a Denver man. Mile high until you die. Yeah. Probably going to kill me. What are you? Detlef shrimp? Okay. That was deep. That was a deep Seattle dig. I was a Seattle person. Shout out to the 96 Sonics. You got it. We also think of a lot of segments ourselves besides momentous occasions so we're really creative we don't and we'll come up with ideas for segments have people call in for those segments it's a lot of people think this but it's not just people thinking of something they want to call in and tell us and then giving it a segment name it is it's because we're really creative we used to work at Wyden Kennedy with Carrie Brownstein in like a giant spider web house that they have in their headquarters hanging out there.

My friend Jen used to work there. Thinking of Nike stuff. Yeah. So press play on one of those, Daniel. I'm excited. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. This is Dalton in New Haven, Connecticut, and I'm calling for your world-famous segment, Who Goes to Everclear Concerts in 2022. Thanks. As a follow-up. And I just wanted to give you a little insight into some of that demographic.

I went to an Everclear concert just earlier last month. I'm a graduate student in paleontology, and I guess I should probably also say I had never before listened to Everclear. We took my girlfriend's dad for his birthday to see Everclear. And, you know, it was fine. I enjoyed it well enough. And there was a fun band who opened called Fastball, who were two charming old men who sang several songs that I remember liking, but I don't actually remember what the songs are,

which is also kind of what I can say for Everclear. I remember that I enjoyed it. I can also say it's been the first concert I went to that didn't have a pre-scheduled encore. As soon as it was over, everyone went off the stage and left. I think they were all very tired. You get the chance. I say go for it, especially if you haven't heard them before,

because I think that makes the experience just that much better. All right. Thanks. Bye-bye. I don't know a ton about fastball. It seems like something I should text Dave Holmes about. The Way. They sang that song, The Way.

Where were they going without ever knowing the way? Oh, yeah. I think that'd be fun to sing on a razor scooter. The jism is cold. David, were you in Fastball? I was like, come on, tell me. He's in knuckleball. There are bar tribute bands in fastball.

I was actually in sliders. We were paid mostly in sliders. Jerry O'Connell was in that for a while, right? Yeah. It was most of the cast of Tomcats, actually. Oh. Jerry and the boys. I had put into the internet fastball band to look and see if I knew any of their hit songs.

I opened the Wikipedia and the first thing I saw was that on their album, The Harsh Light of Day, which doesn't say what year that came out, but on their album, The Harsh Light of Day, they featured guest performers, Billy Preston and Brianrian setzer billy what wait billy preston the fifth beetle the sometime piano player for the rolling stones that billy preston billy preston something from nothing i love that song those guys can't be on the same you can't have those two shredders on the same song huh huh? Setzer and Preston? They're both fucking ripping out. Fucking just six solos.

Smashing each other with keys versus guitar. Was it the whole orchestra or was it just Setzer? No, Setzer came on to play his signature Latin guitar. It was the orchestra, but not Setzer. It was the Brian Setzer orchestra without Brian Setzer. Setzer was busy. I can give you just a little insight to the Fastball album, The Harsh Light of Day. Sure.

I'm not making fun of Fastball here because the honest truth is, I don't know if they're good. David sang the song. No idea. That was good. You heard him? You didn't hear the one song? I don't know that song. Sing the song again.

That's good. See. That's good. See? That's good. Come on, Jesse. That's good. Say it's good. They seem to have had six different bassists. Seven.

I miscounted. Seven different bassists. Are you looking miscounted. Seven different bassists. Are you looking at that graph that's sometimes on Wikipedia that shows the lineups and it has the colored bars for when the person was in the band? Miles Zuniga, who's known as the David Borey of the band. I've heard that. The singer-songwriter. He explained about the album The Harsh Light of Day. This is something that I

think actually applies to Jordan Jesse Goh as well. I mean, I'm not trying to go out too far on a list. I'm not trying to say that I have Zuniga level insight. I'll say it. Wow. I'll say it right now in front of everybody. Let's hear it. You have Zuniga level insight. Yeah. Beautiful. I mean, I wouldn't say that about myself, but I appreciate hearing it from you. No, it's fine. It's better coming from a friend. Zuniga says, instead of tailoring the music for short attention spans, we tried to make an album that holds up well to extensive listening, kind of cinematic, where you notice new themes entering the frame each time you see the film. Oof, that sounds like it's bad. You can't write down what we do in a sentence. Marketing us is a problem, but in a way that's our saving grace also, because you can't find an easy angle to summarize us and exploit. Again,

this, everything here describes Jordan Yeseca. And that's why I fire so many bassists. That's why I'm always firing bassists. We might sell more records if you could, but at the same time, it forces people that really want to be interested in us to pay a little more attention to what we're doing. And I think with Jordan, Jesse, go, I think that's similar. Like a lot of people would miss the themes coming in and out and in and out of the jizz cup. Yes, that's true. You know what I mean? Over the years. Themes just sloshing around in there. I notice a whole new theme every time I fill the jizz cup.

As we dump all our little swimmers into that cup and slot it into that milkshake machine, new themes enter and exit each moment. David, this guy is responding to a story that I told on a previous show about being kind of excited to get someone's extra ticket to see Everclear, despite not really caring much about Everclear and then getting very, very bummed when it canceled because the venue changed from a port to a patio behind a brewery.

Oh, that's where they're at. First of all, I think my problem with all this is that until just now, I, for some reason was thinking he was talking about Everlast and that's very different. So this is something we do need to address because apparently Gabris, when we were talking about Everclear, Gabris said something that actually applied to Everlast, the folk singer from House of Pain. He's the only one. I don't know anything about Everclear then. I know Everlast, the folk singer from House of Pain. He's the only one. I don't know anything about Everclear then. I know Everlast is on that Prince Paul album. It's on that song that goes, the police department is like a crew. We do whatever we want to do.

Only he sounds like... Is that his rap? Can he rap? That's his hook. Okay. He's all right at it. I mean, he's got an interesting voice just for singing his little songs.

He packs it up, he packs it in, he begins, all that stuff. He jumps around, he's got an interesting voice just for singing his little songs. He packs it up. He packs it in. He begins all that stuff. He jumps around. You know how it goes. Yeah. I got no beef with Everlast. Well, I mean, I really don't know what it's like.

Let's hear that other call, Daniel. Hey, Jordan and Jesse. This is Jared in California calling with another installment of your famous segment, Top Culture Marketing Lives Forever. My son and I were paddleboarding down the Napa River, and we came upon numerous walls of graffiti. And then we came upon two bridges that were absolutely empty of any graffiti at all. And then a final one that looked empty, except for at the end, was a seven or so foot long

Shrek is life. Yeah. Yeah. That's a palindrome beautiful they say that the most beautiful phrase in the english language is cellar door but it has now been supplanted by shrek is life a man a plan a canal shrek sure classic is he upset about it i think that's cool yeah a lot A lot of people, this is, man. This guy was paddle boarding with his son through the Napa River. The most California activity, I guess. Drinking wine, sharing a bottle of Merlot with his son. Yeah, eating tacos.

I've been in hot water on this program for sharing my opinion that Shrek sucks. So I'm retracting that. No, stand on it. Just going to focus on the fact that Hook sucks. Okay. Just going to- Oh, I don't know about that. Come in on Hook sucks.

Dustin Hoffman is in it. Bob Hoskins. Bob Hoskins, me. Not even going to address Shrek. Just going to leave Shrek aside. I got nothing to say about puss in boots. Do you hate all the Shreks? It'd be funny if Jesse's like, no, I like Shrek 3, okay? But not 1, 2, 4, and 5.

I've watched them all. Shrek 4 is the one where Shrek fucks that robot, right? No. He loves the robot, Jesse. He loves the robot. He fucks the robot in shrek one but then it the relationship gets complicated yeah yeah and you could tell his like minute for the sex like he likes you think the robot's cool but yeah he's not really looking to he'd get drunk and dm the

robot that's yeah exactly he's just like and he would settle down he's just so busy you know he's he started a podcast and it's yeah it. It's about the Pittsburgh Pirates. Really? Yeah. It's about the Pirates. It's him and Andy Van Slick. Yeah. Yeah.

He's in Steel City all day. Shrek? Have you ever been to Pittsburgh? They all look like Shrek out there. Oh, Shrek and Wiz Khalifa. Yeah. They both went to Taylor Alderdice. Actually, Shrek is Taylor Gang.

A lot of people don't know that. Wow. Yeah. Have you heard Jordan Shrek is Taylor Gang. A lot of people don't know that. Wow. Yeah. Have you heard Jordan Shrek's album, Black and Yellow and Green? Yes, yeah. They're always playing it at basketball games. Beautiful. Get the crowd pumped.

No, Shrek is getting a Jock James check monthly. Oh, man. That guy's so fucking paid off of arenas. Y'all ready for shrek dude what if you went to the fucking basketball game you went to the clippers game or like the fucking warriors game or something and you're just hanging out there and the game's about to start and then they just go y'all ready for track no ready for track and fucking shrek comes out it would work it would work on me see people would flip the fuck yeah i would flip the fuck out you could bring out a hologram of kobe bryant and it

would not blow people's minds like if shrek came out before the basketball game. If he says, y'all ready for Shrek? And then he comes out, I'm taking my shirt off. Dumping him out for Shrek. Oh, I dump him out for Shrek all day. I dump him for Donkey. Are you kidding me? I love that franchise. The fucking jumbotron in the middle of arena is just flashing dump him for Donkey.

Dump him them for donkey. He was kind of confusedly clapping. Nobody knows what to do. What is, what are we supposed to do? Meanwhile, I'm up there hitting the truffle shuffle. Yeah. Yeah, no, dump them for donkey all day. Hell yeah.

What do you think would happen? Let's say you're at the Portland Trailblazers game. Okay. You're in Memphis seeing the Memphis Grizzlies. Versus the Portland Trailblazers. Versus the Portland Trailblazers. Okay. All the stars are out from Dame Lillard to other basketball players on those teams.

Well, John Morant. John Morant's there. He's one of the best players in all of basketball. And I forgot he's on the Memphis Grizzlies. I really only follow the one team from where I'm from. That's all you need. Okay. So let's say you're in Memphis. You're right there at the Dollar General Center. Walking in Memphis. Sorry, I had to get into the zone. You're there. You're ready to celebrate. You're inside of the United States Postal Service Arena. Music is blasting.

You just hear, y'all ready for Shrek? Out comes John fucking Lithgow. Oh, no. He's up on the jumbotron. He's doing fucking backflips. He's doing slam dunks off of one of those trampoline jumper things, like a gorilla suit guy. No, I don't like it.

No. Why is John Lithgow there? Because he's from fucking Shrek, dude. Mike Myers is Shrek. No, John Lithgow is the guy with the big head. Oh, I didn't know that. He's the big head guy from Shrek that looks like John Lithgow. You can't say y'all ready for Shrek and give me fucking farquaad that's insane you have a fucking problem that

guy has six primetime emmy awards listen i believe that but that's you said y'all ready for shrek someone who did a voice that wasn't shrek lithgow is from shrek it's not y'all ready for the guy in the manhattan project did shrek go to lambda answer me that did shrek go to lambda the london academy of music and dramatic art shrek graduated from hard knocks university that's right imagine this imagine shrek comes out they say y'all ready for shrek right shrek comes out and he says ah it's me shrek from rugrats in paris the movie and then everybody's like and they're fucking throwing popcorn and shit at him throwing cans and bottles at him because they know that fucking lithgow is the one who's in rugrats in paris the movie shrek has only ever even been in shrek movies he doesn't have any fucking range i mean

he's been in some other stuff he's got to be like in the background of space jam right imagine shrek has only ever even been in shrek movies he doesn't have any fucking range i mean he's been in some other stuff he's got to be like in the background of space jam right imagine shrek and all that jazz i've seen him in some dirty movies or at least like the slides you know what i mean like it never shows you the video but it's always just like like shrek brand slides no no no no like shower shoes like porn stars wearing Shrek shower shoes? Well, that. But when you're watching dirty movies and then it's like, oh, but what if you clicked the cartoons? You know, it's always like-

Yeah, that's usually Shrek. It's always like Shrek or Lois from Family Guy. Sometimes both. Sometimes both. I can only hope. What if y'all ready for Shrek and then a half Shrek, half Lois came out? It's like a Gallagher 2 kind of thing. Take my shirt off for differentrek. And then a half Shrek, half Lois came out. It's like a Gallagher 2 kind of thing. Take my shirt off for different reasons. Everybody's getting pregnant then.

Yeah. Imagine Shrek and Footloose. I will not. Imagine Shrek and the Hendersons. Jesse, that's where I draw the line. Can you sing the Footloose song in Shrek's voice? I think you could do it. How does the Footloose song go? Footloose. Everybody footloose everybody cut everybody you don't remember i don't remember the fire so i only saw footloose one time

i didn't like it that much sorry fucking hook heads i didn't like footloose that much jesse i need to deflect uh hocus pocus sucks hocus pocus sucks what Hocus Pocus sucks. What about this? Ach, it's me, Shrek. I'm Winston Churchill in the crown. I like it still. I like it all. Hi, it's me. They always say it's me. George didn't say, hi, it's me.

He says, ach, it's me. Ach, it's me. Because Shrek talks in a Scottish voice. voice sure that's high in scottish we'll be back in just a second on jordan jessico this week greatest discovery becomes greatest trek that's because greatest trek is for way more than just discovery we renamed our hit show that's on maximum fun covering all the new star trek shows lower decks strange new worlds picard prodigy discovery and any other new star trek show paramount throws at us come find out

why we're the most important star trek podcast on the internet with our funny, informative recaps of all the new Star Trek shows that Paramount keeps churning out. Subscribe to Greatest Trek. It's a new Star Trek podcast from the makers of The Greatest Generation. Hey there, it's Annabelle Gurwitch. And I'm Laura House. We host Tiny Victories, the 15-minute podcast that's about the little things. Getting into the tiny victory frame of mind is about recognizing minor accomplishments and fleeting joys. Isn't it a wonderful day when the first password you try actually works? When it's freezing cold outside and toasty as I'll get out in my shower, my tiny victory is that I turn off the water and get on with my day. We can't change this big dumb world,

but we can celebrate the tiny wins. So join us on Maximum Fun or wherever you listen to podcasts. Let's get tiny. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris. I just realized it's not zinc. I take it's magnesium. Triple magnesium.

Fuck. Two and a half years. It's me, Shrek. I'm Dick Solomon from Third Rock from the Sun. David, are you here? Oh, and I'm, I, damn it. I was so, I'm Firecracker Chang and I read the weather. I discover Joseph Gordon Leonard.

Just reading John Lithgow's IMDb. No, it's Wikipedia, dude. Was John Lithgow in Angels in the Outfield? Christopher Lloyd is the angel, right? I think Lithgow was the outfield, though. He might be. Yeah, he played the outfield. Yes.

Can I say something about Christopher Lloyd real quick? Sure. Please. I told you guys I've been watching Taxi on Paramount Plus starring David Borey. Thank you. And first of all, Taxi rules. Like I didn't know whether it would be boring. I used to, you know, watch reruns of it once in a while with my dad on the old famous black and white TV that you change the channels with the wrench. I didn't know if I would like it as an adult. Fucking love it. The other thing is, you know, Christopher Lloyd got famous playing Reverend Jim on that show, who's like a burnt out hippie.

That character is fucking vibes. That character is hashtag goals. He fucking looks dope and he's mad soulful. Like you think that what made him special, because you're like, well, the real cool one from Taxi is Andy Kaufman, right? No. I've never thought that. Fucking Andy Kaufman is weak sauce on Taxi. I've never thought that.

I thought Kafka was a boring character. Yeah. It's a weak. Hey, I'm a Hirsch hat. I'm a Hirsch hat. I'm not. I can't get behind any of this. I'll grant you Judd Hirsch doesn't do anything in any episode of Taxi, yet he just

fucking carries every scene. He does no role in it. There's no plots about Judd Hirsch. He doesn't say anything. He just wanders through, but he's just so compelling. He grounds the whole thing and he earns his before the title credit. He's got a before the title? Before the title. Yeah, what was Hershen before? What was he coasting off of? He's got a BTT? No idea. Coasted off of nothing and they gave him a BTT.

All right. Was he the lead of Dear John? Do you guys remember Dear John? I haven't seen Dear John. The sitcom? Yeah. Do you remember that? Was it on like the CW?

The Letters to Soldiers? I think it was Judd Hirsch. Here we go. This is a did Pauly fuck the robot situation. Here's what I think it is. I think this came on like before or after Sybil. I think we were either about to watch Sybil or we had just watched Sybil. And I think it was like a support group for divorcees, which Judd Hirsch was in. But I remember the theme song. It's like him coming in and finding the letter from his wife saying that she's left. And the theme song was the singer as her. It was like, so tomorrow I'll be gone, dear John. Comedies used to be sad.

Number one, it's real. Number two, 90 episodes. Whoa. It's real. Number two, 90 episodes. Whoa. Can you imagine you're fucking Judd Hirsch? You're at 90 episodes of Dear John. You're wondering if they're going to order 13 more so you can get to 100 and get that syndication money.

Damn. And they're like, Dear John, we're canceling it now with 10 episodes to go before you get that syndication money. Fuck wit. He's 87 years old and still alive, Judd Hirsch. I'm very sincere that Judd Hirsch. I'm very sincere that Judd Hirsch has almost no plots on Taxi, does almost nothing, and is fucking wonderful. That's the dream.

You just want to look at him. But my point about Christopher Lloyd is, I remembered Reverend Jim as being a novelty character. You know what I mean? Oh, you thought he was like more fringe? I thought he was like a one joke like just a catchphrase machine yeah yeah just like a one joke you thought he was fat comic book guy yeah and christopher lloyd is so fucking good and three-dimensional and soulful and beautiful as reverend jim the burnt-out hippie also one of the pioneers of denim on denim on denim he looks so fucking cool denim denim denim that's the song from the second level of super j

leno brothers the worst pack-in game you're so like taxi is the king of blue jeans shows yeah if you think you're seeing some blue jeans on fucking happy days or whatever turn on taxi all you want is those fucking high-waist boot cuts get that little tony danza ass going you want that denim with the sick fucking fades like christopher lloyd my goodness see i want a devito three-piece rolled up because i'm tired nasty and sloppy it's been a long day oh i love me some old devito there was a fucking episode of taxi i watched that the whole episode was just about how danny devito in his little cage you know he's in that little cage yeah they put him in a cage and just there's a spider in his cage and he's scared of it he's not scared it's not like the premise isn't he's arachnophobic he's scared of all spiders or whatever it's just that there's a spider and he's scared of that spider and it's

so fucking funny he's listen you don't have to tell me man i just watched twins not three days ago twins i didn't realize when i was a kid i thought i liked twins because there's arnold Listen, you don't have to tell me, man. I just watched Twins not three days ago. Twins. I didn't realize when I was a kid, I thought I liked Twins because Arnold. I'm a DeVito guy. A hundred percent. Arnold Schwarzenegger's a fucking zero. Yeah. He's so bad.

He does this thing. I noticed where he, whenever he plays smart characters, he just furrows his brow a lot. Like he just goes like this. That's what he thinks smart is. Well, I'm thinking of math. That was that weird point where they would put him in straight up comedies with no action. Oh yeah. Twins is good though.

Twins is good. I would like to rewatch Twins. You should do a deep dive. Arnold though is bad. He's known the world over as the hook of actors. Hook is bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad.

It's not any good, though. I'll tell you that right now. I mean, come on. I'm sure this has come up on the show before, but that is the movie that I like. It was a beloved sleepover movie for me as a kid. And then learning later in life that it was a bomb that Spielberg is embarrassed of. It's like, what? No, that. I didn't know that.

That makes me sad. Yeah, I know. It's kind of a, but yeah. Damn. Jurassic Park's pretty good. That makes me sad. Yeah, I know. It's kind of a, but yeah. Damn. Jurassic Park's pretty good. You're saying the Spielberg movies are okay? Cool. What about when the fat kid laughs about the marbles?

You gotta like that part. It's gotta be fun. Food fight? Imaginary food fight? Is that good? Yeah, yeah. The movie Food Fight. That's good. That's good. The low budget animated children's film with second tier food brand licenses where Charlie the tuna is the star of the movie.

That's a good movie set in a fucking grocery store. Hey, David. Tell me. Got any shows coming up? I'll be at the Elysian September 15th. That's right here in Los Angeles. Right in LA. Be doing 50-ish minutes of new material.

You know what I mean? Or maybe old material. Who knows? Maybe you just come out and I'll fill an ice cream shaker with jizz. Anything could happen. Anything. Wow. Most people know Judd Hirsch as Sergeant Dominic from

Delvecchio. Mario Gallo is Delvecchio and then Judd Hirsch is Sergeant Dominic. All Fantasy Everything. Great podcast too. David's on it. One of the funniest. Sean Jordan, Ian Carmel.

Really funny. Three of the funniest guys. Incredibly funny show. Judd Hirsch. Judd Hirsch. Shrek. Shrek. Jordan, you were on All Fantasy Everything.

People can go listen to that because they love you already. Yeah, that was a blast. I really had a great time on it. Jesse, come on. We'll draft the Bay Area. Nobody else has to come. It's just me and you. I Yeah, that was a blast. I really had a great time on it. Jesse, come on. We'll draft the Bay Area. Nobody else has to come. It's just me and you. I'm here.

I'm ready. I'm good to go. Stephen Bochco created Delvecchio. Now, guys, I got to wrap this show up so that I can fucking read more about Delvecchio starring Judd Hirsch and, of course, Mario Gala. Our producer on Jordan, Jesse Goh is Daniel Zafran. Our theme music,

Love You by The Free Design. Thanks to The Free Design. Thanks to Light in the Attic Records. I told you I met the Light in the Attic Records guy. He was really nice about it. Yeah. Thanks to Light in the Attic Records guy. Told him I'd buy him lunch sometime. You can find us on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com. You can find us on Twitter at Jordan underscore Morris at Jesse Thorne on Instagram at Jordan David Morris and at put dot this dot on. Hey, actually, speaking of social media, the show is rocketing into 2022 by getting a Twitter account. Holy shit. Thanks to our producer Daniel. There's now at Jordan Jesse Go. I have a proposal.

I have a proposal for the new Twitter account. Is Twitter is just for anybody who's listening. That's sort of like an aim away message that shows up on your phone. Yeah. You follow a bunch of people, follow friends, people you like. You don't see any of that, but you just see like somebody from MSNBC dunking on Ted Cruz. You don't follow either of them, but you see that. I've been using Twitter lately, Jordan. I decided to check it out because I like AOL,

Instant Messenger, Away Messages so much. Yeah, it's like that. You can ASL. And I'm like, everybody's there just like, yeah, I get it. That's what kind of sandwich you had for lunch. Yeah. Oh, okay. So I'm supposed to just take pictures of my lunch? Yeah. What is this? You telling me what kind of sandwich you had for lunch? Who cares? Sorry. I'll be busy reading the encyclopedia while you're posting your lunch. Anyway. Sorry. How about these encyclopedias at the grocery store? Here's my proposal for our new Twitter account. Usually, we direct any corrections about the show. You know, did we get anything wrong? Are our opinions about Hook wrong? We usually direct those kinds of corrections to at J.D. Power. But I think for the next...

Obviously the Hook thing is not going to be an issue. For the next month, I want to direct corrections to at Jordan Jesse Go. Daniel will read them. And if they're grievous enough, we will, at the end of certain shows, issue corrections. That's because of our journalistic ethics. Yeah. We really want to just set the record straight. This is the podcast of records. So for the next month, take those corrections that you've been seething on. Did we get something about John Lithgow's IMDb wrong? Is there no third Shrek movie? Let us know. I made some memes on there. One of them's Guy Fieri saying,

welcome to Burbank. If you see something, eat something. And then one of them is like a therapist. I Googled therapist meme generator. It's the therapist helping a comedy writer. And he's saying, you know, cognitive behavioral therapy is just giving your inner monologue some alts. So there you go. Beautiful memes. They're great memes. Corrections. So yes, we'll be reading. They both got two retweets, so they're pretty hot.

Pretty hot memes. So yeah, follow that Twitter account. Let us know what we got wrong. We can't wait to hear. Yeah. At Jordan, Jesse, go. And then what's great about this is that Daniel's going to read them. Yeah, not us.

We don't have to get annoyed with you. Jordan, I don't even know how to read. Oh, we should learn, man. There's a wealth of... Honestly, overrated. Oh, well, okay. I'm saying yes. David's saying no. What am I going to read? A bunch of fucking encyclopedias from the grocery store? Well, what are you going to do instead? Look at pictures of people's lunch that they're posting online? I guess I'm just going to look at pictures of people's lunch that they posted online. It's like, oh, great. That's what kind of sandwich you ate. Congratulations.

Is what I'll say sincerely. It's just that it sounds insincere just because of how I talk. Anyway, bye. Is that the end of the show? What is the end of a podcast if not- But the ceasing of talking and what is love if not grief persisting

and something like that fill the cup what boots it to repeat fill the cup yes fill it cool good show yeah good job everybody we'll talk to you next time on jordan jessica i'll hug you and kiss you and love you love love you, love you, love you.