Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Dojo Take Me Away, with Hal Lublin

Episode Date: July 9, 2026

This week, we’re joined by actor and MaxFun friend Hal Lublin to talk about McGruff the Crime Dog, travel rewards programs, jovial japes, and so much more.  *Follow Hal Lublin on Instagram *Check out Tights and Fights *Check out We Got This *Preorder The Amazing Venom *Check out more Amazing Spiderman content from Jordan. *Order Jordan’s new Web of Venom comic. *Check out Jordan’s comic Predator: Bloodshed. * Order Jordan’s new Predator comic: Black, White & Blood! * Order Jordan’s new Venom comic! * Donate to Al Otro Lado. * Purchase signed copies of *Youth Group* and *Bubble* from Mission: Comics And Art!   ~ NEW JJGo MERCH ~ Get  Bronto Dino-Merch! Get our ‘Ack Tuah’ shirt in the Max Fun store. Grab an ‘Ack Tuah’ mug! The Maximum Fun Bookshop! Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes! Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On. Produced by Christian Dueñas Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinjjgo

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and sucks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne America's Radio, sweetheart. Jordan Morris here with an update from the Bone Yard. Wait, the... Buh, Buh, Bona, Boneyard. Oh, yeah, Ozzie's Bone Yard.

Channel 35 or whatever it is on Sirius X-M. This is a channel on your car race. radio when you rent a car. Right. Or if you buy a new car, you get to listen to it for three months. Oh, yeah. I talked about it on a previous episode. I'm in that new car honeymoon phase.

I'm loving it. The smell is still there. And boy, am I sniffing. Yeah, she stink. She stank. Ooh, she stank so good. I especially love the smell of the car's pussy. You can say whatever on a podcast.

Yeah. That's what makes it a podcast. So I'm still loving it. I'm still, I'm kind of bouncing around Sirius XM, a service that I had no experience with other than like renting a car and listening to it a little bit. Sure. And of course, your old friend Jesse when he worked there 25 years ago. That's right. I listened to you every day on that.

You're Howard Stern, right? Yeah. I'm Bunny Whaler. Right. Are we going to be throwing lunch meat at supermodels later? Mm-hmm. Okay. I can't wait.

I love that segment. Yeah. So I've been listening to, you know, bouncing around, listening to some of the other channels. Green Day has a channel. Green Day is Idiot Nation. This is your teenage favorite band. Yeah. Or a teenage favorite band.

Like this is like the, of all the, like this is your Britney Spear. Like of all the iconic artists of your adolescence that were like making hit records. This was the one that you liked. Yes. And I think my complaint about Green Day's Idiot Nation, a little too much Green Day. Oh, really? Yeah. Every third song is Green Day.

You'd like to hear more rancet. Yeah, I mean, yes, I would, Jesse. I would. Yeah, a lot of, you know, later Green Day stuff, which I'm less into. Yeah. Were they writing ballads? Yeah, they wrote a lot of rock operas. I thought that'd be a fun way to expand their thing.

Yeah. Into the world of opera. Into the world of opera. Hey, rock and roll. It worked for Wagner. Sure. That's right. They said.

I like, I like, I like, Wagner's more kind of garaggy pop-pug stuff, you know? Sure. You know, he was hungrier. Right, yeah, hungrier, a little more of that, you know, sneer, a teenage sneer. Sure. So that's been good. Smoky Soul House, a lot of fun.

I was wondering if it was actually Smokey Robinson. I thought maybe they would just put Smokey in front of it and let you assume. Yeah. But he does appear on it from time to time. A man's 80-something years old. Yeah. Just made an album about a... Orgasms.

Did he? Yeah, it's called gasmic, I think. GASmic? Yeah. Because he doesn't have time to say orgasmic. No. Too busy busting nuts, this guy. No.

And hosting. Serious Exemption. But I keep going back to the Boneyard. Motorhead, ACDC, Black Sabbath. Honestly, so far you've listed three things that are genuinely great. That I would be glad to hear about, like, I know listeners know that I don't, I don't sit around listening to rock music that much. Right. But, like, uh,

If you hear a song by any of those bands, you get pumped up and you're like, this song rules. And I do. People like this because it's awesome. Yeah, there's not a lot of like challenging alienating metal. Right. It's just the right amount of metal for me. Mm-hmm. But something...

Ask your doctor. Ask your doctor. How much metal's right for you. Uh-huh. If your rock-gazem lasts more than three hours. Mm-hmm. Anyway, rock boner, whatever. It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. Look, we're overconfident white men. We have a podcast. We do. We're saying things on it. It'll last about 80 minutes. So some of the XM stations have DJs and some don't. Our buddy Dave Holmes, I've listened to a few times.

Always nice to hear, Dave. He's great. But the DJs on the Boneyard are so bad. They're so hilariously bad. These people, because Dave was picked for his job on a, it's kind of like an R.E.M. and Friends type kind of like college rock of the 80s and 90s station. And, you know, Dave was picked, you know, name recognition of course, because he was on MTV, but he's such a fucking great host.

And he's also a, he knows everything about that. He does, yeah. He probably, if they, like, have a factoid thing, it's probably just Dave. Writing it. Yeah, totally. The people on the Boneyard don't seem to have any kind of broadcasting experience. It just seems to be like a guy who has. has Tommy Lee's phone number and can text Tommy Lee.

And that's why they picked him. So a lot of the Boneyard deal. And these guys are 58 now. There's a segment where people remember Ozzy. And then, but it doesn't have to be for, you know, it doesn't have to be one of Ozzy's crazy antics. There's this guy who's like, ah, when Ozzie came up to be backstage, he told me, he liked these crazy boots I was wearing.

And then that's the end of the story. Anyway, I mean, because of that happened to me, I'd be fucking talking about it constantly. Yeah, I didn't fucking write a book. I'd be sending out book proposals. Ozzie told me he liked my boots. But there's a guy on the bone yard. And we're seeing. Christian has put this on the screen and I just want to mention a lot of these people are one name short.

They should have two names, but there's only one name there. These guys don't have time for last names. They live too fast. If you're not, if you're driving 55, you don't have time for a last name. So these guys, just in their little window between Motorhead and ACDC, we'll just read social media posts from metal guys. So this guy was on there and he's like, oh, gosh, I know this isn't something you might. Maybe you'll know this off the top of here. Who's the lead singer of Motley Crew?

Tommy Vince Neal. Vince Neil. Thank you, our guest. Our real live metal head. So whoever this host is Is like As Vince Neal Actually raises horses

Here he is posted about some of his new Fowls Fowls I don't know And then they played a song He was trying to say Foles But he couldn't He didn't know the word Foles

If you want Look if you want disc jockeys That know the word Foles You have to go over to Channel 65, World of Harriet. Right. That's the All Creatures Great and Small Channel, where they're talking about folling season constantly. These guys have never, I've never seen a foul before.

I'm too busy rocking at the Rainbow Room. Our guest on the program is one of the hosts of Maximum Funds. We got this, as well as Maximum Fund's very own wrestling podcast, Tyson fights, Hal Lubkin. Hal Lublin. Howlubkin. That's a fun. I'll take it.

Howlublin. Hi, Hal. Hello. You read that like a bone yard, DJ. I know. Howlubkin? Yeah, Lubkin. I don't know.

How's these fowls you've been raising? Tell us about your fowls. Well, you know, Vince and I, we share our partners in a farm. We got these, we got these harses. Is that what we call? That's right. One of these things. Anyway, they're swimming around.

Here's hangary teen by Megadeth. Can I tell you. happened to me on an airplane? Oh, sure. Please. I went up to the San Francisco Bay Area to visit my mother, and it was a bit of a last-minute trip. And so I went on to, you know, Google flights or whatever, fully intending to book a flight on Southwest Airlines, which is, at the end of the day, even though they started charging for things on Southwest, it's still the best way to get between Burbank and Oakland, the path that pays. Right. Sure. And so I went on there and it was like...

They can get a little shittier and still be the best. Exactly. They like have a little wiggle room to get a little shittier. But here's the thing. There was also, there's also a gas crisis or something. Sure. And so the flight from Burbank, the flight from Burbank to Oakland was like $540. Oh boy.

Round trip. And I was like, I don't know about this. So then I remembered that a friend of mine who lives in Oakland and works here in show business. Yes. Flies back and forth and he said, do you have to fly on this thing called JSX? This is like this. Okay.

It's not a private plane. It's just a regular plane, but it doesn't go to the regular part of the airport. It goes to the private plane part of the airport. Okay. So what that means, practically speaking, is you're getting on a regular plane. A small regular plane, but a regular plane, but you don't have to go to the airport. You just have to go to the airport. Does that make sense?

It's all the perks of private flying except the plane. Except flying, it's not fancy. The actual flying is the same. The actual airplane is pretty much a regular small airplane. Okay. I mean, it's nice. It's not, like, they give you a, I think you probably, if, like, if I drank, I probably could have got free wine.

But it's not like, it's neat, I have to bend over to walk down the aisle. But the point is that this was like $650 or something instead of $550. And I was like, I don't have time to drive. I'm just going to try this thing that my, friend said is the real way to do it. And also, the other nice thing is, I figured this out, you can just park on the street in Burbank right by the, right by the terminal where the, where the thing goes. Like, you don't, if you're not going to the actual airport, there's not special rules. And I just parked on the street. So I save myself a $100 parking. No, that's nice.

I'm coming out ahead. I'm just saying, I'm not a fancy guy. I fly Economy Plus or basic JetBlue because JetBlue has a little more leg room. Not a fancy guy. I was on this airplane, which was actually a very pleasant experience. The best part is you can just get there like 20 minutes before your flight takes off and just go because there's no bullshit to do.

Yeah. You know, they take your bag at the airplane. I'm on this airplane, and I'm sitting here with some of the fanciest, one level below fancy people there are. Like, these are not actual rich people, but these are people who have more money to fuck around with than I could imagine, right? Like they're not actual rich people.

They're not like rich people. Sure. Who can buy and sell other humans. It's like a successful like entertainment attorney maybe, right? That is exactly what it is. They're comfortable. They're comfortable. It is successful attorneys.

It is like successful attorneys and their like attractive younger spouses. etc. There were no pets on my flight. I was bummed because apparently this, the other thing about this is you can just bring your pets. Okay. They don't do anything. That's probably fun for an hour, full of pets. I know. I'd love to be in a plane full of pets for an hour. There were no, no pets. But I was sitting on my plane, and it's a 45-minute flight. I mean, it's a short flight. That's the other nice thing about this, is they don't make it a 90-minute flight so that they can say it was early. Just 45 minutes. Just get a short flight. Just get a short flight. I mean, it's just a nice thing about this. I'm get on and then you're done.

But I'm on this flight. It's a little plane. It's two seats on one side, one seat on the other side. Jesse has to bend over a little bit to walk down the aisle. And in front of me and to my right is a woman fully watching TikTok with the sound on. Oh, no. This is some in line at the DMV behavior. This is like, so I knew, because I take the bus to work often here in.

downtown Los Angeles. And I love taking the bus to work very sincerely. I much rather have someone else be in charge of me getting to work. And on the bus, my bus goes from my neighborhood of Lincoln Heights, roughly, to Chinatown to downtown. And it's mostly, there's a lot of old Chinese and Vietnamese ladies who are going to Chinatown to do grocery shopping or coming back from grocery shopping with those little rolling carts. Yeah. And then there's a lot of old Chinese and Vietnamese ladies who are going to carts. Yeah. And then there's,

it's mostly old people. There's not a lot of crazy people. Not a lot of work commuters, like white collar work commuters. It's mostly elderly people on this bus. And some kind of middle age people. These people are watching videos on TikTok on their phones with their with no headphones constantly.

Yeah. I think, in my, in my mind, the main sound when you're taking public transportation, here in LA is loud casino game. Yeah. Phone casino game, which I hear don't work with headphones and the sound has to be on.

Oh, wow. Yeah, I think with those, the sound has to be on and it has to be as loud as it can be. Yeah. Anyway, with those games. So they're occasionally a young person. Out of sync slot machines, dingin on every seat. With an echoing voice, you win. Sure.

You have to have that. An occasional young person will have headphones on. Sure. but I would only say 50% of young people. And then I'm going to put it at 0% of people over 55. Yeah. And so I, but that's on a city bus. I mean, there's also a person on there passing out chick leaflets about Jesus to every single, you know what I mean?

Like anything goes on the fucking city bus. Yeah. Going down Figueroa Boulevard, anything can happen. Sure. Yeah. That's just how it is. And I'm like, I think. think that this is the rare cultural phenomenon where there is this gap between the lower middle class people that I am riding the bus with and these upper, upper middle class people that I'm

riding on this airplane with, where in between, when I'm on JetBlue, no one is watching their phone with the sound on. That's true. but I think if you're a pretty 28-year-old lady, which is what this lady was, who has enough money to buy the $800 round-trip ticket instead of what if I hadn't been buying it the last minute would have been a $250 round-trip ticket or whatever,

and you know you're allowed to bring a dog in, you think there's no rules for me ever about anything I could kill someone. Did you get a sense of the content of the time? TikToks. They were like beauty tips. And she, look, it was working for her. She was a beautiful, she was a beautiful young woman. How quickly was she scrolling? Did you hear like, get ready now? Is it like, you know, when someone changes the radio very quickly? It was a mid-tempo. It was like a 10, 15, 20 seconds. So like on the bus, that shit is flying past. And it's often like switching insanely from

Bonda music to someone yelling about a soccer goal to just like just completely like, bah! You know? Please. You win. Remaster that Christian. I shouldn't have said that that loud. But this was pretty chill

on the scale of the level of intensity of the start of TikTok videos, which tends to be absurdly high. It's also often Instagram videos as well. I don't want to just say that it's TikTok videos. Yes. but old people love TikTok.

The old people on the bus love TikTok. I don't know what got them on to TikTok and not Instagram, but they love TikTok. Yeah, sure. The old's love to have their, yeah, they love to have their brains melted. How? We were just talking pre-mic about your, you know, giant world tour with a thrilling adventure hour podcast. Yes. Do you have any, like, travel things you insist on?

Do you have a point system that you're a part of? Do you have a part of the plane you like to sit up? I have a special pillow. Ooh. I have a few pillow. I've gone through a number of pillows. Let me, let me back up.

So the thrilling adventure hour. How did I get here on this pillow? I remember I was in the womb. Not that. Well, not that far back. I think he went back a little too far. Sorry. You know what I do?

When we first started traveling with a thrilling adventure hour in like 2012, 2013. We were going, we were traveling a fair amount. I didn't realize how much. And just by chance, I was traveling on American a lot. American Airlines. American Airlines. Okay, okay.

Yeah, I have heard of it. That's the silver one. That's the silver one. One day I showed up at the gate and my ticket had gold status on it. Hell yeah. Because I had traveled so much. Wow. And then it became my life's work to maintain that status.

Did you get anything from the status? That's the thing. I don't even understand what you get from the status. You get to board earlier. Great. You get a time on the plane. My dream has been realized. You get more time.

You get to watch and decide who on the plane will live or die. Oh. If you have to eat like, oh, that's the person will consume. I see. If we're in a live situation. Yeah. And then the deeper you go, I'm now, for this year, because of last year, I am Platinum Pro, which is the, like, not the highest, but one below it.

And I think I have flown once this year. It will for sure go away And I will not have really been able to taste the sweet nectar of being like Are you just going to start going randomly to Tucson during for a weekend just to get them? Yeah I'm just going to fly there for lunch and then come back There was a time when comedians we knew who toured for a living Would get

A status level Like I'm thinking of I'm specifically thinking of Jimmy Pardo but But, you know, our friends who had that life, I'm sure Al Madrigal was in a similar position, where they would get a status level where they could just buy a coach ticket and then they would get put in first class. Yes, that's one of the perks. But I don't think they do that anymore, really. They do. Do they? My father, because he travels so much and also was on American, he has the highest level and he will buy a ticket and they will upgrade him to first pretty regularly.

I've been upgraded a couple times. He's an airline pilot. He's an airline pilot, but he'll come back and sit in first class because he doesn't enjoy flying the plane. These things fly themselves. Yeah, it's fine. I got the blow-up guy from the movie. He's doing it. It's fine.

Don't call me Shirley, right? I remember that? I had a drinking problem. I'm drunk. I feel like we're going down. It feels like we're going downward. Somebody should fix that. Anyway, I collect comics.

Very weird that I always do a voice from my dad because he sounds exactly. I sound exactly like him. But I always... It's kind of more of a dad. Yeah, every impression of the car. Hey, it's me, Bill. I have to make him sound dumber. Now's my son, I'm very proud.

Yeah. It's me, Bill, a male lot of bad mistakes. Like when I had sex with Hal's mom. I love my son. Yeah. They will upgrade you to first, though. You get put on a list. Yeah.

Although now it's always like there's one seat and the list is 500 people long. If I don't have the system, I've had a few times when I got enough points from Southwest Airlines or JetBlue Airlines to get a free plane ticket. Over the course of like four years, I get enough to fly back and forth to Oakland one time for free.

That's all I've ever gotten out of points. Jordan gets cookies every time he shows up to a hotel. Oh, you know, no, I don't do the cookie. I'm a Hilton guy. Oh, Hilton honors? Diamond status. Wow, come on. Yeah, it's pretty sweet.

So no, cookies are a Marriott thing. Bonvoy to you. He gets free condoms. I get free condoms. That's what I stay in a dorm and if I know the RA. And they fit you for them. They do. These are custom bespoke condoms.

Sure. So perfect. Monogrammed. Very nice. Very nice deal. So, no, the Hilton stuff, it's, yeah, you get a free, you get free stays every now and then. Parking spot?

Parking spot up front. You get a parking spot? Yeah. If you're diamond. baby. Do you have to pay for it? No. I mean,

like you don't have to pay the parking fee? You can't park there. It says like diamond only, right? You can only park there if you're diamond. So that's nice. So yeah,

that is a saving if the hotel does charge for parking. And then, and then, yeah, they'll shoot you a little upgrade if there's one available. This doesn't happen at your,

you know, kind of budget ones, like your Hampton Inn, which unfortunately, you know, mainly what I'm staying at. But if you stay at a proper Hilton, they'll kick you up

to a nice suite, which is awesome. Do you got his truth? about a hotel. Yeah. The Hampton Inn is the same amount of good as any other hotel. Yeah, I know. Except for a bad hotel.

Yes. Like if it's not a bad hotel, there's a really narrow difference between a fancy hotel and a Hampton Inn. Once you hit the Hampton Inn level, below that you can get in trouble. Sure. Motel 6, we're talking. Yeah. Quality in. Yeah.

Quality in is the worst. Yeah. They should make them change that name. I've stayed in those because I was down in San Diego and it was too late when it was time to drive back to L.A. So I grabbed a hotel room. That's why you get those, sure. Or you're lying with a prostitute. Yeah, I was like I think I would have been better off just rolling and doing a bitch to my car.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's a doorbell when you show up like Cat House and they all come out and say, hi, how are you doing? No, I'm just sleeping tonight. We're the quality in prostitutes. We're of a very high quality. Would you like a squeezable packet of shampoo, like the ketchup you get at McDonald's? Would you like a sharp bar of soap? How to get so sharp?

It's a soap sharp. So you can dig your way out. The last time I stated at a Motel 6, I was like, soap is a blade. I will say I, you know, I always like it when a hotel has a bar. So the Hampton Inn is don't have a bar. I'm always like, oh, I love to have a little drink at the hotel bar. So that's something I like about, you know. going a little step up.

But yeah, you're right, I know. Are you meeting traveling business, babes? Yeah, I bring my rolling suitcase. Who are you talking to at the hotel bar? Not, I mean, I don't do a lot of, like, volleyball team. Volleyball team. People are in town for a plastics convention.

I talk to the bartender sometimes, asking them what they like to do in town. It's kind of fun. What do they like to do? Oh, you don't want to know the kind of sick shit these guys get up to. They're part of a bull. bowling league. I'm like, all right. Yeah, count me out.

Please. Count me out. Your little key party at the bowling alley, I don't think so. Yeah. We like to swap lanes on Thursday. How are you going on to a hotel bar? No, I don't drink either. I'll go down there, I'll order, I'll get like a hamburger or something, but I don't want, I don't want to have conversations with anybody.

I just want to be left alone. I think the hotel bar burger is always too expensive, but it's pretty good. It's a pretty dependable thing to eat if it's like late. That is the thing of all hotel food. They are gambling on the fact that you don't know where you are. Right. Or you don't know how to get to anything else. Sure.

They're like, hey, we've got a fine burger here for $24. Yeah. What do you want to do? Go out there. It's scary. There could be a big foot weight to eat you up. You don't know whether there is a crosswalk. Yeah.

It could be really close on your phone, but it's close because you have to run across. an alligator freeway. That's right. That's hotel, that's hotel yelping. Hotel yelping is you find a place that looks good. You're like a Somali restaurant. I bet that's good because we're in Minnesota or whatever. Yeah.

And then you're like, you map it and you're like, 0.24 miles. Great. Sounds perfect. And then it's like, all right, put on this suit because you're going in the shoot. Wait, Hal. we blew past. This was going to be a discussion of pillows. Oh, pillows.

Yeah. Thank you, Jordan. Let's get back to, free focus. This is why people are really here. I've done the regular. I've had the inflatable. I have one now. I haven't brought it on a plane yet,

but I saw it in an ad. Because I'm susceptible, I thought this is going to be great. Yeah. Because the number one issue for me is more than 90 minutes, the tailbone starts to hurt. I can't, and I'm adjusting and I'm doing this kind of stuff. just to be, and I don't want to disturb any of the people around me, so I'm just trying to just be, like, suffer.

Well, that's the thing. You and I, more so than Jordan, I think you and I are broad men. Yes. And one of the things about an airline seat is the sides of the seat substantially are going to contain your waste. Yes. You know, substantially. Occasionally some have more room than others, but like, you know, it might, reproportion you a little, but it's going to contain you. But then the upper block, I feel like I have to stand, I have to sit in an airplane seat with my arms crossed in front of me to fold my top half in so that I'm not getting up in people's business. Yes, 100%. Yeah,

you're drawn in trying to make yourself narrow. Plus the seats are not comfortable or made to be sat in. Especially now, these, days they got, I don't know if you heard about these airplanes, George. This is bad news. You heard about these airplanes? You heard about these airplanes? But some, if the real trouble for me is, I'll tell you what it is, it's when I get on an airplane and the little headrest part of the molded seat rest, seat back, doesn't go up and down.

Because if that doesn't go up and down, what that means is that the forward pointing part is at the exact wrong part of my neck and head. so it's making pushing my chin down into my chest because I can't push it up because it's for a person that's five foot eight which most people are do you fold in the side the side the blinders on the side to keep your head in once once once I lift once I lift the liftable part I might as well fold in the sides yeah yeah yeah why not also I do the same thing with the mirror that I bring with me for when I'm sunbathing so I can get an even tan sure sure sure sure things when I put it down on my chest if you put the baby with you Yeah, when I'm lying nude on a New York City rooftop. That's a great way to signal that you're relaxing. Really let everybody know. Boy, that person is not a care in the world. I travel with an inflatable pillow and those little tiny goggles with a little slit in them that you put right on top of your eyeballs where you're getting a tan in a movie of the 1960s.

Listen, guys, I want to signal to the audience. I want to signal to the audience that I'm relaxing. Can we cut some cucumbers, put them on our eyes, and then come back for a little bit more? We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris Boy, Detective. Jordan?

Yes, Jesse. I just checked our bank account. And you know what it said? Hmm. Jesse, I'm fine because of the support of the listeners of the listeners of Jordan Jesse go. That's what your bank account talks like? My bank account talks like this, which is funny because you'd think it would be more business

life. You would think, but no, it's a little kid voice. Yeah, well, you know, it's fun, and it just wanted to me to let everybody know that it appreciates all the members of maximum fun for letting us pay Christian and ourselves. Sure. Thanks, bankie. Sure. Thanks, bankie.

We are also supported this week by our friends. Friends at factor. Jordan, I'm sure that this scenario has happened to you. Oh my God. Scenarios are always

happening to me. You're fucking locked in to some ADHD workflow state. Okay. You're pursuing a special interest. Sure. In this case,

it's probably predator related. You're locked in. Right. You sat down at 8.30 at your keyboard and you're like, holy shit, it's 115. I've been... I got hunger, madness.

I've been so busy, you know, tip it and type and heat scoping and eating people's skulls or whatever. Yes. That collects them as trophies and eat them. Now it's 115. I'm exhausted from working so hard. Right. And I'm freaking starving.

And I'm going to wander into my kitchen and I'm like, oh my God, what am I supposed to do? Prepare a freaking meal? Sure. Cut up a bell pepper? I don't know. I wish I had something that was nutritious, like a real complete meal. But like actual hot food and also I don't have to cook it.

Yeah, that's where factor comes in. They've got meals built around your nutrition goals, including high fiber, high protein, and carb conscious options. This is a company that ships you ready to eat meals. You just got to heat them up, throw them in the microwave, throw them in the oven for a little bit. They come out, taste and great. Real proteins, real veggies, real food.

I always start getting into making lunch after I'm just, too hungry to start making lunch. Right. That's when the factor meals come in the most lunch. I'm so mad at lunch. Yeah. And I'm just like, oh, I guess my, I guess my lunch is a handful of goldfish crackers. Sure.

And a banana. Yeah. This junk mail. Exactly. All I'm all around are these election flyers. I find myself just passed out sucking on a mop. Yeah. Well, now you don't have to suck on that mop because you got factor meals in the fridge.

Head to factor meals.com slash jimps. J.J. Go 50 off and use code J.J. Go 50 off to get 50% off and free daily greens in every box. With new subscription only while supplies last until September 27, 2026. See website for more details. Factor Meals.com slash J.J.Go.50 off. Use the code J.J.Go. 50 off. Hey, hey, J. Jordan. If our listeners are headed down to San Diego Comic Con, I will be there. SDCC. I will be there Friday and Saturday.

follow me on social media for those details. What are you going to be doing? Paneling, table. Doing some signings. Working out the details, but I will be there and I will be saying stuff. You're going to be on the alias panel? Yes, a salute to alias. You know, me, I'm a big alias head.

I'm going to be moderating the panel. Jay Garn's going to be there. Oh, wow. From alias? J.J. J.J. Abrams? Yes. Or J.J.

the guy that goes, Dinomai. Both of them. Jimmy J.J. Walker. If he is alive, we'll be there. Great. Perhaps has passed on. That's a good promise. So yeah, check out my social media.

Check out the Comic-Con website. If you go on there and church Jordan Morris, all my panels and stuff will come up. I hope to see folks there. And I hope I'll see everybody in my antique store at Put This Onshop.com. I just blasted out a huge pile of new stuff, including a lot of ladies' clothes.

Put This Onshop. La La La La La La La Jordan Morris, boy detective. Hal Lublin guessed. That's fine. And pillow connoisseur. Yeah. So, okay.

We did. Jesse did let me know that we did run past Hal's pillow anecdote, which again is the reason why people have tuned in. I'm sorry. being so cagey about it. Yeah. It's my fault. I've refused to answer.

This is pillow edging. Come on, man. I got a blast. I bought an inflatable pad that you're supposed to sit on to help alleviate that pressure. And I've tried it into my desk chair. Does not work. For your coxics? For your coxics?

For the coxics. Yeah. I haven't used it yet on a plane, but I will come back after I do and report. I feel like if I put something on my seat and then I sat down, I would just hit my head immediately on the thing, the console above my head. You're a little taller than me. Yeah, an oxygen mask would drop if you did it. Yeah.

It would put you too high up. I got a pillow that I don't really sleep on airplanes, but if I'm going on a flight that I might need to sleep on, like if I'm going to Europe or something. Sure. Again, I'm flying economy. Economy plus at best. So I don't have a lay flat seat.

So I read an article about pillows, and I bought one from the article. I don't remember. It was probably in wire cutter or something. Sure. Seven or eight years ago, at least. But I read an entire article comparing all the different types of pillows I bought one that's flocked and it has a one-way valve.

So you can just go and fill it up like that. It's not like, you don't have to blow on the little thing, you know what I mean? Sure. And then when you roll it up, you like change the valve a little bit and then you just roll it real tight. And what's nice about it is you can sort of wear it around your neck, but what you want to do is you wear it almost like over your shoulder and then you can lean over onto it. Oh, so you pick the side that you're going to sleep on. Yeah, and it's got a little rope that keeps. keeps it from falling.

I thought it was in case he wanted to call someone. Well, in case someone wants to string you up, maybe. I'm going to strangle that fucking guy as soon as he falls asleep. I can't wait. Oh. Thank God he's got that. He's got it so easy. Please tell me he's got that robe.

Oh, yeah. Oh, I love to kill guys on planes. Oh, my God. It's almost like I want to get caught. Air Marshall, you knew it was me all along. I gave you all the clues. How was my son? doing your dad impression, which

We've done like 10 different voices for this guy. Yes, I'm also the pilot. I'm also the pilot. I call it comics. There is a pillow called the turtle. How's not my son. I'm a different guy, but I've also had sex with Hal's mom. She only likes guys with this voice.

She's a wonderful woman. There's a line of us. We're all talking to each other. I keep seeing you at all the people's houses. Commercial auditions, I'll tell you. It was convenient for House mom. when we started that club. In the old days, we had to keep a mailing list and mimeograph it.

We have an archipel a group together. Hello, my baby, hello, my honey. Hello, my rat time gal. She also loved dogs, so McGruff was very confusing for her. Kind of the best of both worlds. Maybe it wasn't confusing. Maybe it was just exciting. All right, house mom.

I accept that she was great, but make sure to clean your smoke detectors, Let's come on. Winters don't cheat. When cheaters don't win. So spread your legs. Spread your legs. Yes, question, yes. Do you think that either the guy who voiced or portrayed on camera McGruff the crime dog ever got laid off of being McGruff the crime dog?

100%. Absolutely. No question. The guy was fucking neck deep in it. Yeah? Yes. All the way up to that giant head? Yeah.

Tell me what to do if I see somebody suspicious. Tell me what to do. Well, first you suck my dick, and then you change the batteries in your smoke detectors. So two things. Remember, once a month, you have to suck my dick and change the batteries. Dangerously close to podcast the ride territory. Is he sundowning?

It sounds like he's sort of... Yes, I'm drifting off. There's a pillow called. The turtle. My nurse, the nurse is stealing my pills. The nurse does I'm stealing my pills. I think she's selling them.

I used to have four pairs of shoes. Now I have two. I have two. I'll never know. There was like a McGruff type guy. I think his name was Mutzworth or something, who was a character on UHF television when I was a small child. And he would...

Is a guy in a suit? It was a dog. It was like a puppet. It was like a puppet. And he had a friend. It was a horse and a bulldog. This was local to the San Francisco Bay Area. And they would talk about things and learn little less.

in between shows. I'm going, wha, like that, you know, that kind of thing? Yeah. Sure.

And I was, I was subscribed to like a San Francisco nostalgia Instagram or something like that, you know, you'd be surprised that I'd be interested in that. I am actually not surprised.

And here's the guys. Look at this. Who are the guys called? Christian, who were the guys called? Charlie and Humphrey. Charlie and Humphrey. These are some very,

a local TV looking puppet. The horse is wearing a policeman's hat? No, that's a captain's hat. The captain's hat. But the dog is wearing a bowl or a pancake hat? No, he's wearing like, yeah, he's wearing like a leather newsboy cap. Right. Yeah.

Like he's a cab driver. Yeah, exactly. And he's, but he's like a... The horse is in the Navy? The horse is in the Navy. And then the, the, the dog, he's sort of like, he's like training Rocky Belboa. Okay. Okay.

They're kissing in that one. cool characters. They did seem to be kissing. They were full on kissing. So I subscribed to this, I subscribe to this San Francisco nostalgia Instagram page. Christian, put us on the one down in the bottom left there. And I'm watching the local news. And it's like a clip of the local news reporter going to the top of the Golden Gate Bridge.

It might have been the Bay Bridge. and it's maybe 1982 I'm like of course I'll watch the local news reporter go to the top of the Bay Bridge in 1982 then he starts talking it's the fucking dog

The dog This whole show was just a local news reporter Going to the top of the Bay Bridge That guy But he has a dog He brought a dog to work And he said can I have a dog show too Wild

Or the other way around Or he had a dog show and he was like, can I go to the top of the Golden Gate Bridge as well? Those were the days. Apparently this is called, we're looking at an ad for it, like a newspaper ad. Apparently it's called the Charlie Horse Show. That's cute.

Charlie Hors. Is that the newsman? I think that's the newsman. I'm going to put that picture at 1968. Yes. And I knew it from 1984. So he was a stouter man and an older man. But you have funny voice like this?

I don't mean to be judgmental, but he has the forehead of a serial killer. He does. If you look at that picture, that is a full-on. It's a wide, flat expanse. Yeah. Oh, he seemed so nice. I think the hat that the dog wears is probably the hat that the man always wears. Ah.

In real IRL. Well, who's the dog and who's the man then? It's like if Dom Deloese, if Dom Deloese was controlling a dog puppet, he would be wearing the Dom Deloese hat. The beret? Yeah. Do you remember, were the lessons like, you know, stay away from drugs? I remember and there was one of them or one of them ate a B. And they were teaching you how?

You'd think avoid the stinger, but stinger first. Stinger first. It's where all the flavor is. Always eat the stinger first. Remember, this is your old pal, Charlie Worse. You're going to consume a B. Oh, I eat the stinger. That's what the dog says.

Oh, Muttly. Oh, boy. You're a real piece of shit. When something momentous happens to you, like you finally learn the most important lesson of all, which way to eat a B. Give us a call at 206, 984, 4, for fun, or email us at JJ go at maximum fund.org. Can you just record a little voice memo, email it to us, J.J. Goat maximum fun.org as this person has done. Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and guest, this is Levi from Chicago, calling them the momentification. Although, unlike all your other listeners, I'm not actually a librarian,

we did just have built-in bookshelves built in our upstairs library at our house, and the exciting part is we got a secret library bookcase door covering my wife's craft room. So now we have a secret door in our house, childhood dream achieved. Thanks for everything. We'll just show. Can you imagine how crushingly disappointing it would be? If you reached for a book in a bookshelf, pulled it out, heard a creek, a secret door opened, and it's somebody's fucking crocheting stuff. It's just inside there is just...

A bunch of felt. It's just so many of those little, those little puffy balls. Right. You were expecting the Declaration of Independence. Instead, you got a shelf of mod pod. Sure. A bunch of googie eyes. A bunch of googee eyes in a mason jar.

Cool, you say. Also, but, I mean, also, I wonder if this is also a panic room. And then, you know, if you have home invaders, you could get a little crafting done because that'd be kind of nice. Oh, like make a miniature rocking chair or something. Yeah, that'd be kind of cute. Make something to give people. Well, the people are invading your home. Yeah.

No food, no water. Pip cleaners? Your pipe cleaners, sure. Temperate. Yeah. We can eat this. Old hand puppets, you can turn into different hand puppets. Ooh, that's fun.

You can change them. By turning them inside out? By turning them inside out and making them like, you know. You take your hat off your head and put it on the puppet's head. That guy from the children's show got to my puppet and skinned it, and now this is what it looks like. Yeah.

All right, can I tell you what someone was, I was in the line at the Costco? Yeah. And just burnishing my brand. This woman was in front of me. She was talking to her friend on full-scale FaceTime. This is another epidemic. Right.

Yes. Is people walking around talking to their friends on FaceTime. with the cameras on. Yeah, I don't know why. That always is jarring to me. And I'm like, well, if these two people were just walking next to each other and talking, it wouldn't bother me. But I'm doing a thing and talking to someone on FaceTime just seems psychotic to me. And I don't know why.

Yeah. Anyway. Anyway, she's talking on the phone to her friend on FaceTime, and I just hear her go, didn't his dad own a dojo or something? I know. It's so not. Nice. I know. I know.

Just so nice to have access to a dojo. I kind of want to join a dojo. Play that monthly fee, but... But my problems just melt away. Dojo, take me away. So the guy's dad has it, so he'd be a dojo nepo, baby. Yeah. A nepo.

A dojo nepo. It must be nice to go to a dojo whenever you want. A dojo cat. A real nepo cat. Whatever. He just say stuff on a podcast. We're making a show. It's a really good show. It's called our podcast show. We have a call now, Jordan. We have a call now, Jordan. Now, I've inquired with our producer, Christian Dwaynez.

I said, is this a momentification? He said, no. He said, this is just a call. From what I could tell it was someone just calling in to reassure us. I just think it's nice. It's just a nice call. But this is great. This is a call bucket that we can, you know, fling the door open to. Just tell us something that will make us feel nice.

Yeah. Who doesn't need to feel nice? It's nice to feel nice. I love to feel nice. That guy's fucking neck deep in it. I like buttholes. Wow, he does. Yep.

I like sniffing other but holes. Does he not like pussy or? It's a, it's a distance second. There's a lot of nerve that things in there. Fair enough. Wear enough. Now, back up. It could be a source of pleasure.

If you don't have a stigma around it. Take it slow. Take it slow. And lube heavily, McGruff the crime dog. Do you remember he wore like a full suit with a loose tie? Like life had beaten the shit out of him. And he was, he was like had failed at some huge case and they busted him down to like telling kids. I got thrown off the force when I shot a kid.

Maybe don't try cigarettes. I could save all these kids I couldn't save that one But I could save these kids And I can warn them about counterfeit batteries And fuck all their moms And god damn it I'm gonna need your gun

Give me your badge and your gun Change the Change the batteries in that smoke detector And give me your badge in your gun I wake up screaming every night I made a lot of mistakes I've stuck this dick A lot of places

I shouldn't. We're going to listen to a call that makes us feel nice. Yeah. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, guest, and Gabe. This is live in Humboldt County. On the recent Kai Rizdahl episode, you had a listener call in, and they mentioned that they had been listening for 10 years. You joked that they were probably the newest listener you had.

I wanted to say that I've been listening for, I think, a month, and I challenge any listener out there. There to be newer than that. I've been listening to the Flop House for over a decade now, and I've re-listened to all the back catalog too many times, and I know all the jokes, and I'm going through a pretty tough time right now, and I needed something else funny, and Dan recommends Jordan Dessie go a lot,

so after a decade, I was like, maybe I'll check it out. And it's pretty good. You guys are helping me through a hard time. I appreciate it. If you're a newer listener than me, call in. Love you by. Sounds like it's time for the Live Challenge. Yeah. Is living a humble challenge?

Do we have a bunch of Lublin heads tuning in for the first time? Liv, you didn't say how long you've been listening to We got this with Mark and How, which I assume means from the beginning. And hey. So it could only mean. And you know, there's shit the issues like, I've been checking it out and it's pretty good. And I'm like, hey, you know what?

I'll take it. Yeah. I was maybe a little insulted at first, but you know what? It seems sincere. I'll take pretty good. I thought it through the exact. I went down the exact same pathway. I was like, is this an insult to me that she said it was pretty good after she talked about how she's listened to the flop house so many times that she knows where and all the jokes are coming?

And I was like, I mean, I listen to the flop house. I love those guys. Great show. And then I was like, you know what? Thanks, Liv. Pretty good. I'll take it. That's better than I think it is.

Sure. She's stuck around for a month so far and probably beyond that. And it's better. It's better than the other thing where it's like, oh, sirs, your jovial japes bring me much pleasant trees throughout the day. Like, I don't need that. That's a lot. Oh, good, sirs with your jovial japes. I'm like, yeah, hey, shows pretty good.

Thank you. That sounds like something a real person would say. We're shooting for that. Sure. That's what we're- Pretty good. Pretty good. I'll tell you this about that.

I must off my cap to you, sirs for your jovial james. All right. A humorous buffet. I'm like, hey, I've experienced before. Yeah. Ooh, I will sup on your mini james. And criticism's good sir. And there was much teetering.

Just say you like the show. Yeah, it's fine. Say it's fine. How do you feel like your... Give us a call us. No, what's your favorite white dwarf episode? Watched on PBS in the early 80s. How do you, do you experience this as someone who's been podcasting a long time or you're like,

I, I, I, how do we accumulate new people? Oh, that's the challenge. I don't know. I don't know. I don't, if anybody figures it out, call in. Let us know. My personal phone number is 976. 413-257.

So give me a call. And let me know how you would get new listeners for our shows. I think just, I think at some point, people will. Oh, yeah, just tape them up at. Do the Vegas where you're like, ah, like people do with strippers? Sure. You know what? You flip your little card for your podcast.

Hey, podcast here. Hot podcasts. We got these... Hode podcasts. We got these 12 listeners. Yeah. One of them is Dan McCoy. Yeah.

Dan's probably listening right now. Great guy. From the flop house. Everybody, of course, should run out and listen to the flop house. I just want to say, you know who makes me feel good? Dan McCoy. Yeah. Once in a while, Dan McCoy text me about something that he's listening to on Jordan

Jesse Go. It's a nice feeling. And I think Dan's listening to my show. I listen to his show. We're podcast friends and real life friends. Nice. It's a nice feeling. Doesn't get better.

Doesn't get better. He just says it and he's not like, oh, sir, your witticism. Brought me mini guffaws and mine sides doth split? Say you like the show. Mine sides. Doth ate. The delectable from the gales of laughter that burst forth. Tickle thine funny bone you have.

My floppy jester hat quivers with excitement When a new episode appears I'm really gonna I'm really gonna take this opportunity To ask you guys to never log in to the email address Hodgeman at maximum fund dot org Because if you have concerns about people writing in To we got this and Jordan Jessica go

These are all lovely people by the way Like, to be clear, wonderful, the sweetest people on earth. Lovely people were grateful for their support very deeply sincerely. However, if you're concerned about forsooth, doverrighted. H. Vail fellow, Wilmette. Vine emails addressing the court of the Honorable Judge John Hodgman must require many, many redactions. Might they be readable upon air?

based on my experience with the nice emails we get on Jordan Jesse Go and the emails that we get on Judge John Hodgman, which often are also nice. Just say, watch out for those Judge John Hodgman once. Is, okay, is, okay, they say, I've heard this in podcasting. Every episode is somebody's first episode. That's true. And you've got to treat it like that, you know? You got to like make sure to hold people's hand, you know. I'll just make a bunch of weird inside jokes.

We're not doing that. No. We're being coherent. This is completely, this is a great on-off podcast. It's a trolley podcast. Is this your first episode? Call us 206-984-4-5 and tell us what you thought. Is this episode your first one?

If this episode is your first one and you give us a call, I mean, you give us a call, you know, we won't play it on the air, but you leave us your email address and you're the first person to give us a call and it's true, we'll send you something in the mail. I like this. And also, but don't fucking. bullshit. Don't lie. It'll be a weird thing to lie. If you do, you know you're going to get in the mail, a bag of dog shit. Already on fire. Already on fire. We know how to get it delivered.

And listen, I know the mailman. We have a very long wick. We normally say Jordan, Jesse, and guest. But I'm here. I want that call addressed to me. And how? They're probably listening because you're on. That's a good reason. Probably I'm pulling huge numbers. Yes. We always get the old Lublin bump. Yeah. What did somebody call you Shane or something? thing. Somebody just picked a name for you

in the calls this week. Oh, I think it was about, I think said Gabe. Gabe. That was Gabe who was filling in Oh yeah, Gabe Mara. Got it. That was, although they could have just been picking a name. I don't know. Thank you. Yeah, and I think there was a guest, right? Might have been a guest. It was like, and Gabe. It's like, and

Gabe. Yeah, that would have been Gabe Marr. Okay, that makes a lot of sense. Well, we figured it out. Okay. Well, I guess we can stop doing our show now. Yes. Let us retire to the And lay us our heads down For a night of sleeping saps There was much rejoicing I will sump in my sleep

The longest of gown and the pointiest of shoes Take me away to my sleep Mr. Sandman Sprinkle me with your particles Take it that I may dream Give me my potful of hot coals To warm my feet in the night We'll take a break now

I'll sue the break Hal talking about those shoes just made me wonder what other things 19th century sleeping men have in common with northern Mexican cowboys certain northern Mexican cowboys

that are really into pointy shoes really curly pointy shoes With carrying a candlestick too, huh? Probably carry a candlestick, I can see that. A creepy candlestick do I have? The floppiest of hats. We'll be back in just a second

on Jordan Jesse go. La La La La La La La La La The Flop House is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. Robert Shaw in Jaws and they're trying to figure out how to get rid of the goolies

and he scratches his nails and goes I'll get you ghouly. He's just standing above the toilet with a harpoon. No, I'm just looking forward to you going through the other ways in which Wild Wild Wild West is historically inaccurate. You know how much movies cost nowadays

when you add in your popped corn and your bagel bites and your cheese spritters? You can't go wrong with Henry Cattle Mustache. Here at Henry Cattle Mustaches, the only supplier. The Flop House. New episodes every Saturday. Find it at maximum fun.org.

Hey, are you playing a video game right now? Maybe you put on a podcast while grinding in an RPG. Or maybe you just don't want to hear that boss fight music one more time. Been there. I'm Maddie Myers. I'm Jason Dreyer. And I'm Kirk Hamilton. We're the hosts of Triple Click, a video game podcast.

A podcast you can listen to while you do. things. Like driving or cooking or playing video games. On Triple Click, we share our thoughts on the latest games and breaking news out of the video game industry. And we also talk about other stuff besides games. So while you're doing something else, make sure to check out Triple Click. Listen on maximum fun.org or wherever you find your podcasts. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne. America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris boy detective.

Howe Lublin's still deciding on a title. You'll figure it out, buddy. One day. No rush. Thank you. We have an update. We have an update. So Christian Duenas, our producer.

Doing a great job, by the way. He's really been producing the program. He's been producing the fuck out of this thing. For sure. But so is so produced. Yeah. Have you noticed? If you noticed.

Phil Specter level of production. Sure. A wall of podcast. He's waving a gun at us at all times. Why does our show have 57 guitar tracks now? But Christian's Christmas albums. You really can't beat it. It really is the best one.

It really is. Christian, you said you had an update. What is the nature of the update? This is about McGruff the Crime Dog, the voice actor for him, dated February 10th, 2014. Okay. Who's the voice actor who played McGruff the Crime Dog? John Morales, the actor who played the crime-fighting cartoon character McGruff the Crime Dog, was sentenced to 16 years in prison, stemming from a 2011 arrest in which police seized 1,000 marijuana plants, 27 weapons, including a grenade launcher, and 9,000 rounds of ammunition.

Oh, it's like the departed. Grenade launcher. It would be one thing if he just had grenades, you know? How am I supposed to launch him? I got a bad shoulder. I don't softball injury. I can't huck grenades like I used to. Why do you think I didn't play on a softball team?

They let me on the softball team. I didn't always drink this much. Used to be more acceptable anyway. People didn't give you a hard time about it. Remember, over-the-counter juices have lots of. sugar. Thanks for coming over. Take a pot plant on your way out.

I got plenty. And always change the batteries in your smoke detector. Let me in your butt. All right, McGrath. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. So he had the police raid starter kit in his home.

Yeah. And just. I think, yeah, maybe we're missing like exotic pet. Like, oh, you know, he had a, you know, he had a python and a llama. Yeah. There's a python. A couple macaws. Yeah.

I mean, the thing The thing about the grenade launcher If I can return to that Please. It's the most interesting detail. Obviously, I've never had a criminal lifestyle That we know of. I would never tell you about my criminal lifestyle.

That's right. I can kind of imagine circumstances where you buy nine grenades. In my mind, they're kind of in a box, like gift pairs come in. Yeah. Yeah, with like some sort of Yeah, hay or shredded newspaper.

You know what I'm like going off. Or like even a golden foil. Yeah, sure. And you could get them almost like, sorry your dad passed away. Here's some fabric. A gunnades. It's like a weird part of an antique mall. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like a rural antique mall and there's just a guy there. He's like, he's like, well, I got commemorative drinking glasses. I got a case of grenades. I got these World War I helmets. You know what I mean? Like that, right? And you're just like, well, can I buy the grenades?

And he's like, $400 and they're yours, Ace. Like, in that context, I could see acquiring grenades. Like, it doesn't seem that crazy to me to have grenades. I mean, it's a bad idea. I don't encourage it. But they're out there is what you're saying. But they're out there. And obviously, always change the batteries in your smoke detector.

Of course, always. Always change. Constantly changed. Yeah. But the, launcher, even if the launcher was just that kind of giant sort of rubber band that you used to launch like a plastic rocket, you know, that's like almost like a slingshot, almost like a slingshot, but it's like a gigantic slingshot that you used to fire a rocket up into the air

is, you know, from the, you got from the Clutz Game Company or something. Came with a book. Yeah, came with a book. Grenades for Clutses. And even if it was just that. That seems like something that you'd really have to buy from a man that had lived for years in Nicaragua, but was not Nicaragua. Someone who had fled something. Yeah.

A South, like a white South African probably. You want to see him like a white launcher? There he is. Take a look. Here it is. You can launch plenty of grenades with this. Yeah. It's me, Josh Ackland from Lethal Weapon 2.

Do you want my grenade launcher? Pretty good. Diplomatic immunity. Hal, I want to hear a little bit about both of your podcasts. We got this where you settled debates. Yes, settled pointless debates. What are some of the spiciest debates you've had recently? Boy, we sort of go all over the podcast.

I never remember anything we recorded. I can give you some. Sure. Because it's a good off and all. on podcasts, hop on, hop off because each episode is like a JSX flight from Oakland You just got to show up 20 minutes before boarding.

Mark is always playing TikTok on his phone full volume into the microphone. So you feel like you're there. He's a therapy dog with him. Yeah. But my favorite episode of all time is liquid soap versus bar soap versus

foam soap. Oh. Which does not sound enticing. But I... No, it does. I mean, I could see people have strong opinions about that. some bad experiences with very sharp bar soap. Yeah, bar soap will kill you. It's like a razor blade

that you wash your hands with. So it's, I met somebody recently was telling them about the podcast and I mentioned that as an episode and they, for five minutes, started talking to me about a hand soap. So it's things you have an opinion on that you don't think, whatever the topic is, you will have opinions on it as soon as you start listening to Mark and I talk about it. Best mall store. Oh, best mall store? Oh yeah, that was a recent one. We've done the mall food court, I think, as well, or best mall food. What one best mall food?

I don't remember. You'll have to listen. What was the best mall store? Listen to find out. What was the best mall store? It was not Things remembered, which is where you would also get a crate of grenades. But you have it engraved. Things remembered.

I don't remember that one. Nor Spencer's Gifts, which now is just straight up a sex store that also sells T-shirts that say like, Grandpa fucks. I would guess they would have gone all anime stuff, but... You would have got... There is a section for that. Oh, okay. They still have, like, the poison and all of Ozzie's Boneyard posters are still there.

You can flip through. Then there's a section that's like, here are all the dildos. We're not hiding it. Huh? It's not even a fun penis straw. It's just some dildos. Titan fights is wrestling. Yes.

And it's different from most wrestling podcasts than that it is not three people like me. It is me and Lindsay Kelk and Danielle Radford. Right. And I am not the majority of voice. Different from you in some key ways. In some key ways. And they're both brilliant and I love doing the show with them. And Julian Borell also jumps in a bunch who's our producer.

It's an accessible way to learn about wrestling and a safe place to be a fan of it. What is the number one top wrestling guy of 2026? I'm not talking about wrestling. about who's not the world champion? Who's doing the best work? What's the most compelling wrestler? Or wrestle lady? Yeah.

Resolette. Or wrestle NB. Yeah. I would say Becky Lynch is a pretty obvious answer. She's just fantastic. I was going to say so fucking awesome. Becky Lynch. This is just a girl you went to high school with?

Yeah. It's a girl I went to high school with who I think would be really good at it if she would just give it Do wrestlers just have the name of a person you went to high school? Since John Sina, do they all just have names of the girl you went to high school with? Yes, that is the goal is for you to feel like you went to high school with every wrestler. Becky Lynch? Yes. My favorite, who I think is doing the best work and now is getting recognized for it more.

The interesting thing about wrestling is the company will tell you and they will push someone and invest in someone to try to get them popular with the audience. Then there are people who come in and whether you give them 10 minutes or 15 seconds, they make the most out of it and are wildly entertaining. And that is Chelsea Green. She is fantastic, like great sense of comedy, like one of the best pure comedy people in wrestling. And you went to high school with her, right? I didn't ask you this question so you could just list regular names. I asked you this question so you could say the flying Puma. Okay.

Or Mr. Maserati. How about El Grande Americano? Yeah. You like that? That's pretty good. That's a little cute. Yeah.

The El Grande Americano, there were two of them. One who did it originally, that are replaced her one. And they wrestled each other. Whoa. The loser lost their mask. Two masked men. And it is one of the,

maybe the best wrestling match of this year. And a good, good, like, on ramp for seeing a story told well, something that did not work in the U.S. and was crazy popular in Mexico. So you get to see the match on a Mexican card on their AAA, which is a promotion that they have purchased. You get to see it in being, I think in Mexico City is where they had the match, and it is, the crowd is incredible.

The match is incredible. It's everything you would want to see in a wrestling match in terms of just how it all works together. We've talked about this on the program, but I've been to the Lucha twice in Mexico City and had a blast both times. Great. So much fun.

Just love to see those old ladies just scream for blood. Mm-hmm. Just screaming for blood with their four-year-old great-grandchildren next to them, also screaming for blood. It's beautiful.

It's a family event. It's a gorgeous thing. Well, Hal Lubkin. That's right. It's been great to have you on the show. It's always nice to see you, friend. Thank you for coming by. Hal Lublin, of course,

is the co-host of We got this with Mark and Hal. He is the co-host of Tights and Fights. He is an acclaimed actor and voiceover star. You can hire to perform voices in all your South African properties. And I've heard McGruff's, that roll is open now. And I don't have a grenade launcher. He winked.

He winked. What? You saw that? We should also say this, Hal. I don't think, I don't think we know any specifics yet, but both the you and I are going to be at DragonCon in Atlanta, Georgia. Atlanta, Georgia, that's the one. We are. That's in September. So if you're out there, keep an eye on, you know, I'm going to say social media. Yes. That'll probably tell you when and where Hal and I are going to be doing stuff. We hope and see you there.

It'll be a lot of fun. Come see us and tell us that our stuff is fine. Tell us we're pretty good. We're pretty good. We're pretty good. We're pretty good. It's going to be a pretty good time. Our theme music is Love You by the Free Design, courtesy of the free design and light in the attic records. Our thanks to them. Christian Duenas, the producer of the program, please find us on social media. You can find us on Instagram, on Blue Sky, on Facebook, all these places.

Just search for Jordan Jesse Go. Search for Jordan in my name, and you will find them and subscribe to us and get a lot of fun. If you want to chat about the show, go to Reddit. R-Sach Maximum Fun is the subreddit for Maximum Fun where there's always a great discussion

of every Jordan Jesse Go episode. If we got something wrong, please feel free to go in there and write it. It's fine. We're just glad you're listening. At this point, we're just glad you're listening. Thank you. Thank you.

Dan, do use an alt account, though. Don't just post it under your at Dan McCoy. Okay, we'll talk to you next time on Jordan. Jesse go. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Maximum Fun.

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