Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Dom Deluise Dot Com, with Sam Haft

Episode Date: July 13, 2023

Jordan and Jesse welcome internet music superstar Sam Haft (The Living Tombstone) to the pod to talk Mark McGrath trivia, the Beach Boys, and Dom Deluise's now defunct website.Come see Jordan, Jesse, Go! live at the London Podcast Festival in London, England at on September 14th. Buy tickets now at MaximumFun.org/events.Try ZipRecruiter FOR FREE at ZipRecruiter.com/JJGo

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Jordan, I want you to know something. I'm grateful for your friendship.

Thanks. And that's all. The end. It's been great doing Jordan and Jesse Go. Our best episode ever. A new classic. We all speak different love languages. That's so true.

So true. You may. So true. Thank you. You may have noticed that one of my love languages is gift giving. I have noticed. You're a lovely and thoughtful gift giver. Thank you.

In order to express my love to you, I brought a gift for you here today. Oh, my gosh. I actually have it right here. I got it this morning. So this is a postcard featuring Dom DeLuise. It looks to be signed. Yeah, that's a genuine... That's not a printed

Dom DeLuise autograph. That's an actual autograph from the late Dom DeLuise. The photo is him making sauce, dumping a bunch of sauce onto a variety of Italian foods and a halved watermelon. This is like a red sauce.

You're not being gross. No, no. Yeah. That'd be wild. No, no. If the pitcher was Dom DeLuise making sauce. No, he's not jacking off onto a watermelon. No.

And on the back. Although that would be a classic summer boy thing to check off onto a water mountain. Wouldn't it? Wouldn't it, though? And on the back, just to date this, it says, visit Dom's website, www.domdelouise.com for tour dates. Wow, this is amazing. Thank you so much, Jesse. A friend of mine at the flea market had what can only be described as a Dom DeLuise shrine there this morning.

Oh, my gosh. And I said, Ben, what is the story with this? Turns out he's friends with one of Dom DeLuise's children. And Dom DeLuise was the kind of guy who, like, when he was in a movie and he liked the movie he would keep all the stuff from the movie so there's just too much dom deluise stuff right in the deluise family's life and so they just sent some of it to the flea market with my friend i love that this is you know this is in a in a time where you advertised a website with a postcard. How do I get people to go to my personal website? Ah, postcards.

What I like about this is that it comes from the time of the website. Like this is a website era photograph of Dom DeLaurene's. He looks exactly the same as he looked in, let's say, the Muppet movie. Sure, yeah. In 1979 or whenever that movie was made. And he also just looks positively maniacal. Yeah. Just out of his gourd excited about these sauces.

His dumping face is, yeah, it's one of, I would say, religious elation. Yeah. Like he's a nun having a vision. religious elation. Yeah. Like he's a nun having a vision. How much of Dom DeLuise's

success as a cookbook author and food personality, which was significant, Yeah. would you say was based on people getting him

confused with celebrity chef Paul Perdomo? God, probably a lot. And I think we've talked on the show

a lot about the media figures from our childhood and being confused when they popped up in other stuff. Mr. T being the greatest example. Absolutely. A hundred percent. I think. Is he a rapper or NGI Joe? Exactly. Is he a cartoon or a professional wrestler? Sure. Yes, is the answer. professional wrestler. Sure.

Yes is the answer. Yeah. And yes, Dom DeLuise I probably remember first, you know, appearing like as a funny chef guy on, you know, late night shows and stuff. And then like when my dad started sitting me down and showing me Burt Reynolds movies, that was confusion.

Let me say one more thing. I also got in addition to Paul Prudhomme and Dom DeLuise getting them mixed up, Paul Prudhomme being the Cajun chef who brought Cajun food to the nation. I also confused them. And this is real. This is going to sound like a bit, but it's real. Also kind of confused both of them with Heathcliff. also kind of confused both of them with Heathcliff.

I wasn't sure what Heathcliff's relationship to Paul Prudhomme was. Sure. No, I mean, there's a mnemonic for that. Yeah. If a cat you see, Heathcliff thar be. If it is a chef you seek, Paul Prudhomme. Or Dom DeLuise. Are they?

It's that simple. But Dom DeLuise do act as well. It's so simple. You'll never get them confused again. More kids has he than you might expect. There you go. Given your presumptions about him. I think we all said that rhyme on the schoolyard as we were playing hopscotch. And we could all repeat it, probably, if asked to say it again.

Joker laid an egg. Right. Exactly. Should we introduce our guest on the program? Yes. Our guest this week is... I hope it's not Batman because that guy smells. One of, yeah, well, one of the Internet's...

Oh, God, he's sitting over here in the corner. He thinks it's fucking Jack Horner. I hate that guy. He's one of the Internet's most beloved songbirds as the lead singer of The Living Tombstone. He's also now the man behind his own extra play recording under his own name, Sam Haft. Hi, Sam. Hello.

What a pleasure to be here. What a joy to have you here. A delight. Jordan, I have to say, Sam and I are wearing chains and you don't have any chains. I felt like it was an appropriate thing to do of a Jew as a certain age. I think, you know. Is this some kind of Jew chain? Yeah.

Is that what you're saying? I think you reach a point. Yeah. Show me where in the Torah it says, Sam. It's, you know, in the book of Jeremiah. Chain, chain, chain. Chain of Jews. Here we go.

Nobody clip that out and put it out of context, please. Please don't. I don't need that. But I feel like, you know, you reach a crossroads where you're like, am I going to just be kind of a hairy guy with a chain? And I think I made the executive decision that, like, that's the kind of Jew I want to be. The other day, I watched Ocean's Eleven for the first time since it was practically new. The original or the Clooney? The Clooney.

The Clooney. I don't want to watch some fucking Frank Sinatra bullshit. Fuck that. I'm out on that. I'm in on Clooney. Okay. Bullshit. Fuck that.

I'm out on that. I'm in on Clooney. Okay. And I just thought if I could be 15% as cool as Elliot Gould. Oh. Yeah. The chains on this man. The original chain Jew. Oh.

This guy's extraordinary. Well, don't forget Sammy Davis Jr. Well, okay. That's a good point. That's a world-class chain Jew. Absolutely. This is really starting to worry me that these things are going to get clipped out. I don't know.

It seems okay. Well, I'm glad you heard about the chains. Yes. Yes. in my heart in my heart that the Episcopalian and the Jew can come together in our passion for chain wearing. I'm wearing one you can't

see. It's a butt chain. A little bit of mystery. Oh, I just spoiled the mystery. What does it go around? Does it go around? It runs everything. It's a long chain.

Holy cow. This is like when someone eats a string. Yes, yeah. It's terrifying. Pulling some dental floss out of a dog. Sure, yeah. It's like that, but a chain. And the dog is me.

I did eat some dental floss, though. I did eat some dental floss, though. I did eat some dental floss. I had to swallow the chain to get out the dental floss. And then the fly and wire. Sure. And the grandma. Well, Sam, welcome to our program. Our apologies for the content of this show.

Oh, no. You know, I was very, I'll bring it to Jews any day of the week. That's what they say about old Sam. I've heard that about you. That is, by the way, that is a very thoughtful gift. It's a very thoughtful gift. I know neither of you until today, but I can tell how thoughtful that gift is. And it tells me a lot about the two of you.

Well, Tom Deluise, I think, this is something we've talked about on Stash Rules Everything Around Me, our Burt Reynolds recap podcast. Become a member of Maximum Fun today and listen to it in your bonus feed. But Dom DeLuise, I don't think there is a better example. Chevy Chase, maybe. But, like, I don't think there is a better example of someone whose entertainment baffled me as a child and delights me as an adult. Like, you would think it would be Steely Dan. Steely Chase is a good example. Like, a lot of people think Steely Dan is the best example of something that you like when you're a grown-up,

but you don't like. But to me, I could not understand what was going on with Dom DeLuise and why it was funny. It's not too sophisticated. No, sure. Quite the opposite and i think just at some point i turned 35 and i was like oh he's just kind of yelling and flailing and being a goofus yeah yeah this is great totally were these like were these dom deluise burt reynolds type movies was that something your like family put on for you when you were a kid or when did you discover that stuff? You know, obviously huge Muppet fanatic.

Oh, sure, sure, sure. Yes. And I feel like, I mean, I know Dom DeLuise. Like if you were to put a photo of Dom DeLuise, I'd be like, Dom DeLuise. And yet I feel like just a vague sense of like he was in some, one of the Mel Brooks's, I'm pretty sure. I think he was in Robin Hood Men in Tights. Oh yeah. Where it's

like, I'm just trying to place Dom DeLuise and I'm just vaguely getting a sense of Mel Brooks. Where like, you know, I definitely, like, he was just the kind of guy who'd just pop up and stuff. People would be like, oh! And they treated it like a cameo

and you weren't sure why. Yeah. Because it was. Yes. Yeah. Sam, I wanted to update you and Jesse and our listeners as to my recent summer boy activities. Oh, this is great. So, Sam, just so you know and anyone who's just started listening to the show for some reason, many years ago. We had a guest with a significant following who was outside of ours.

Hypothetically. I don't know. Sam, many years ago, Jordan went to an out-of-town wedding. And on his return to the airport, happened to be wearing jean shorts and was generally dressed to return to Southern California. The man driving him to the airport noted that he looked like a real summer boy. And since that time, we've dedicated many of our summers to celebrating the spirit of summer by being summer boys, which is a gender neutral term that describes embodying the spirit of summer, such as by drinking a beverage from a koozie.

Yeah. Jack it off onto a watermelon. Or jack it off onto a watermelon. Good buddy Dom, RIP, domdeluiz.com for tour dates. Famous meatballs. I think that's still active. Let's check that out. Matt, can you check that out?

We'll check in on that at the break. Jordan, you recently, of course, lived your summer boy dream of wearing a Speedo at a public gathering. Yeah. Where there was a pool. It was appropriate. Right, right. What further summer boy activities have you- I wanted to share an anecdote with y'all of summer fun.

I did want to ask Sam, how do you like the summer? Are you doing summer shit? I know you're just learning about the concept now, but do you feel like you're doing any summer boy shit, knowing what you know about it? You know, I have been as part of

now that I live the chain lifestyle, I'm showing a lot more chest hair. And I think that is a very summer boy thing. I have a lot more shirts without sleeves now. Sometimes I'll do kind of like a Vin Diesel and I'll just wear like a tank top as a shirt with just sort of a loose, billowy, unbuttoned, short-sleeved button-down. Sam, I'll tell you this. If we learned anything from E.G., Elliot Gould, it's that you don't have to go for a dip to wear a cabana set.

Absolutely. You don't have to be anywhere near a pool. No. Throw a robe on top of it, grab a cigar, you're set. You're golden. You can go into the heavyweight championship of the world. Sure. Yeah.

I feel like I probably could be living my life as a summer boy a little bit more to the fullest. Pick up maybe some boat shoes and some two-inch inseam shorts. Yeah. That's a nice inseam. That's hot. Hot. That's a hot inseam. Hot. Hot.

That's a hot inseam for when it's hot. Are you worried about getting a chain tan maybe? Do you think you could? Not until you just brought up that potential. One might get a chain tan. You could end up with a chain tan. I have gotten sunscreen in my chain, which is, I'm sure you can attest, an everyday problemding. It's a real challenge. An everyday problem. Right. How do you wash those chains?

Do you just throw those in the dishwasher? No, you're going to need a hydrosonic cleaner. Oh, boy. Yeah. I shower in mine. Oh, okay. So you just clean it as you clean your body. I shower in water.

So try that. Well, I live a very Scrooge McDuck kind of lifestyle. Well, Dom DeLuise treasure bath, like History of the World Part I. Yes. Yeah. So I did an activity that I think, you know, just the whole time I'm like, I'm a boy. I, for the 4th of July, went to see the Beach Boys at the Hollywood Bowl.

Wow. Now, this is one of the most American activities I can imagine. And some of the summerist boys. Yes, sure, absolutely. Yeah, I mean, absolutely. Proto-summer boys, some would call them. I don't think there is, like, they may literally be the greatest summer boys of all time.

Perhaps. I mean, it's right there in the name. Boy. So, yeah, and so 4th of July, so there's a fireworks display. Pamela Anderson? I mean, it's right there in the name. Boy. So, yeah. And so, 4th of July, there's a fireworks display. Pamela Anderson? Is she up there?

Oh, yeah. She's a summer boy. Oh, yeah. For sure. I am tipping my shades. That's how much I agree with you. So, yeah. So, Beach Boys at the Hollywood Bowl.

And I will say that I was surprised to learn. I kind of got tickets to this without knowing too much about it, without knowing too much about what's going on with the Beach Boys. I know that I like their music. You'd heard of the Beach Boys. I've heard of them. I've heard they're great. I've been meaning to check them out. I've heard of the Beach and I've certainly heard of Boys. So speaking of childhood confusion, I did really like the song Kokomo as a kid, but I think I heard the Kermit the Frog version first. And I was surprised to learn that someone else had recorded Kokomo.

You're like, well, did you know that Kermit the Frog's original name was The Pendleton? Sure. Yeah, so anyways, I have an affection for the hits, as does everyone, so I was like, this will be fun. Apparently. There's only one original Beach Boy in the current touring band. Uncle Jesse. So, we'll get to that. Oh, wow, okay.

So, Mike Love is the only boy left standing. Oh. I don't know who is still alive. I know Brian Wilson is still alive. I know I saw Brian Wilson still alive. Yes. I saw him at the Hollywood Bowl a couple years ago, and it was a wonderful experience. Yes. But I guess it's Mike Love and a bunch of ringers.

Some, I'm sure, studio musicians who I didn't recognize. Uncle Jesse. John Stamos is in the band, who plays guitar and drums, and sings on every song. Also, I don't know how extensively he tours with the band, Mark McGrath. Wow.

This is bringing up a lot of tangents for me, I'm just going to say. Save those tangents. I am. We'll get to them. So when you say Mark McGrath, okay, so Stamos, of course Stamos has a long history with the Beach Boys, going back decades at this point.

And I wouldn't be stunned to learn that Stamos tours with the Beach Boys. You know what I mean? Like, not that he maybe always tours with the Beach Boys, maybe when he's not working on a show or whatever. Mike Love calls him and he's like, yeah, I'm there, man. Mark McGrath. His job in the Beach Boys is dot, dot, dot, question mark. To be

nimble. He can run around stage whereas others can't. Are they like firing ping pong balls at him or something? Dance, McGrath. Fire shooting at his feet like a cowboy. Wait, are they like firing ping pong balls at them? Yeah, dance, McGrath. Also, are the replacement Beach Boys also in their 80s? They look older. So, I mean, I think Mark McGrath, who's probably in his mid-50s, is the young buck on stage.

Okay. But I don't know that he is having the effect that I think they want him to. Reader, I tell you, when Mark McGrath was introduced, zero pop. Zero pop from the entire Hollywood Bowl. Holy cow. Silence to ladies and gentlemen, Mark McGrath. Nobody there was even like a Celebrity Jeopardy fan? Yeah.

I mean, I think his fame was just so specific that, like, if you didn't go to high school in the 90s, you probably don't know who this Frosted Tip man is. Let me tell you, at a Sublime show, if you brought Mark McGrath out, house is coming down. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Well, Mark McGrath is in Sublime, right? You're thinking of Rome. That's his in Sublime. McGrath is in sublime, right? You're thinking of Rome. That's his in sublime. McGrath is not Rome. Didn't Mark McGrath host television shows?

Don't forget the lyrics. Didn't he host extra? He was on Entertainment Tonight. See, I know an uncomfortable amount about Mark McGrath. Yeah, apparently. No, let's hear it. One of my early day jobs before I could go full time at my art was writing

trivia for Don't Forget the Lyrics. Really? Yes. Okay. Which was, like, it wasn't even trivia that was on the show. It was on, it was trivia that was on, like, a tie-in app that you could look at while you watched the show. Right.

And so for what I'm sure was minimum wage, I was just writing trivia and time coding it to certain events. And I had to learn so much about this man. Wow. Because he's obviously, you know, I had to write trivia for when he's just kind of monologuing at the beginning. So stuff like, did you know that Sugar Ray was initially called the Shrinky Dinks and had to change their name? I didn't know that. Because of copyright infringement.

I have to ask you a couple follow-up questions here that I'm going to need clarification on. First of all, when you say when he's monologuing at the beginning, is it like a Leno thing or like a Garrison Keillor thing? You know, I think it's, I would describe it as Trebekian. You know, reminding people what the show is. Sure. Letting people know, hello, this is a new television show.

You're still watching television and now a new show has begun called Don't Forget the Lyrics. So more of like a Spalding Gray kind of thing. Yes, yes. Okay. Okay, second follow-up. Was it required that the trivia be about McGrath?

Well, once they would get into the songs by other people, I would write trivia about them. But you weren't just allowed to have general music trivia up top. It had to be McGrath trivia. No, no, yeah. It was very McGrath-specific. And, you know, that well runs dry four episodes in. Did you know that Sugar Ray sang that song, Be My Butterfly, Sugar Baby?

Ooh, I think you're thinking of Crazy Town. Oh, okay. At least that of Crazy Town. Oh, okay. At least that was Crazy Town. Okay, but they definitely sang... Understandable mistake. They definitely sang the I Like Girls That Wear Abercrombie and Fitch Chinese Food Makes Me Sick song, right? I don't think that's Sugar Ray, but I cannot tell you who that is. I would say that is a similarly Summer Boy-esque band, but definitely not Sugar Ray.

I think that was LFO, the Light Funky Lens. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to guess Len. There you go. I was going to guess Len. I want to say Sugar Ray really just had the two radio hits, was the Every Morning and the All Around the World, Statues Grumble for Me, Fly.

That's the one. Rough. Yes. Rough. But he was people's sexiest man alive in like 1995. The genre, of course, is songs that played on the radio at Macy's when Jesse worked there. I think Fly is probably still playing in a Macy's somewhere today. Yes.

In a young women's section. So zero pop for McGrath, but he handled himself well, ran around, did some- Waved a flag like David Lee Roth. Yeah. So, okay. So we've got one original Beach Boy and backed by these other musicians and the Hollywood Bowl Orchestra. Sounded terrific.

And these musicians whose names I do not know all sounded great too. You wouldn't imagine that there's a bunch of nitwits. No, absolutely. So everybody sounds great. And Mike Love is involved sporadically. But heavily featured

in parts. He sang a lot of leads on Beach Boys songs, right? I don't know enough about them to say you know, how he was involved or what he wrote or what Brian Wilson wrote or whatever, but you know I'm guessing he wrote all the songs about cars. Among the front men.

Right. Okay. Among the many Among the front men. So it kind of how it worked is that like these beautiful Hollywood Bowl strings would swell. And then these musicians would kind of come in with these really beautiful harmonies. And it's echoing throughout this clamshell theater. And it sounds really great.

Sunsetting in the background. And then Mike Love in his Hawaiian shirt and baseball cap kind of toddles to the front. This is, by the way, the circle of life is from toddling to toddling. Yes. And I'm about to criticize an 80-year-old man. Okay. But I think maybe a Trump wacko, so maybe we're not that. Jordan, I'm going to give you permission to be the first to criticize Mike Love.

Yes. So maybe look into the guy. Okay, so Mike Love sounds, I would say, wacky. Yeah. That is his voice. These strings are swelling. These harmonies are lilting in, and he just comes to the front of the stage and is like, You gotta throw your board right in the car.

Everybody throw a board into your car. You gotta drive a car cause you're a teen. Everybody's a teen. Be true to your school. Everybody drives around in a little car. Toot, toot goes the horn. Surfboard, you're a teen. And that's like the concert.

He just wanders up there. Yeah. He toddles up. Yeah. The legendary Mike Love of the Beach Boys, one of the greatest pop groups of the 20th century. Arguably the greatest. Mike Love, he toddles up to the front there. He Arguably the greatest. Mike Levy, he

toddles up to the front there. He's got Sheamus, he's got McGrath, he's got a few ringers. Probably some guys who played with Steely Dan at some point. Yeah, that's a great yeah. He's from Toto. Exactly. He's got the entire Hollywood Bowl orchestra there and then, so what does he

say then? You gotta find a cute girl, then make her your wife. You got to take her to the beach and put her on the board. You got to jump in your car. That car is cool. And everybody drives a car because you're a teen. Teens all go to school. They go to high school.

And everybody is a teen. And he drives a car. Sounds a little something like that. It sounds just like the recording. It's incredible. I think that was from Pet Sounds. In the performance, in the performance,

where the harmony is as tight as in the recording we just heard. Like, obviously, we just heard the record where the harmonies are incredible, but on stage where the harmonies are incredible. No, that was me. But on stage were the harmonies that time. Yeah. They really brought it.

I'm actually picturing everyone else just stops when he starts doing it. Just beautiful strings, beautiful harmonies. Break it down, Mike. And then just him alone. Maybe with a tambourine. Clapping and stomping. He does a beatbox break. Maybe with a tambourine. Clapping and stomping.

He does a beatbox break. I'd like to imagine that the Beach Boys in 2023 is Mike Love, John Stamos, Mark McGrath, John Cusack, and Paul Dano. I'd like to see that as the Beach Boys. Obviously, Cusack would be an older Brian Wilson, Dano a younger Brian Wilson. And then Mike Love would play himself at every age because the guy can do it all. I'll listen to a later Beach Boys album that still has Brian Wilson in the Beach Boys. I guess at some point he leaves, but, like, there's these 70s ones that he's still in the Beach Boys. And they have the, like, ethereal, extraordinary beauty of the great Beach Boys songs.

I mean, even the driving in a car, riding on a skateboard, on a surfboard songs have that. It's incredibly beautiful. They have that quality, but it's just something that Brian Wilson just fucking stream of consciousness

while completely zonked out of his mind. Like, there's this whole song, a beautiful song, like a totally gorgeous song that's just, I guess, Brian, I don't know who sings the leads on The Difference,

but one presumes Brian Wilson wrote this, that's just about how important it is to respect your feet. Yeah, yeah. And you're just like, like someone, like all the stories that I had heard as like a not really rock and roll guy about the history, the Beach Boys were always about like,

Mike Love ruined the band by insisting that all their fucking songs be about surfboards and like that they could never grow or like whatever right and then you're like but somebody there had to have permission to be like brian could we change the lyrics of this feat song like this feat tune is not like could we make the it doesn't have to be about the soda shop, but could we, yeah. Well, I think the crux of explaining why the Beach Boys are what they are now is that Brian said no. And then quit when they tried to make him.

He's like, I'm making myself a milkshake. But Sam, you're like a mega fan, right? I don't know, mega fan, but I'm definitely a big fan of the Beach Boys and a big fan of Brian Wilson. I have a bit of an Uncle Jesse anecdote. And as a matter of fact, I didn't

know Mark McGrath was going to cameo in this story. There is a perhaps apocryphal story about Mark McGrath starting at entertainment tonight, which of course, because I know everything about the man, um, one day I will kill him. Um, but, and you will become him. It's a highlander situation. Not soon, not soon, not out of animus simply to consume his power. Yeah. It's just, I know there can be only one. I know too much now and I'm slowly turning into him.

And eventually I just I feel like the next step is wearing his. Right. You're going to show up. He's going to like open his walk in closet and you're going to be there with the frosted tips. We're going to you're going to come back to the show and his tips are just going to be glued to the top of your tip. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got to take the tips. I think that's how you kill McGrath. You probably cannot be killed unless you sever the tips. Yeah. You gotta take the tips. I think that's how you kill McGrath. He probably cannot be killed

unless you sever the tips. He's like a Hydra who he regenerates cell by cell from tip down. He's a Samson who if he loses his tips, he doesn't have to lose all his hair, just the tips. Just the tips. Yeah, his power is just...

Well, it's perhaps an apocryphal story, but apparently the first interview he ever did for Entertainment Tonight was with Brian Wilson. OK. And he shows up and he's like, I think, probably very well aware of the fact that, like, I'm like a pop rock guy in the 90s. And this is the most legendary songwriter in American history, maybe without, you know, counting out like Bob Dylan or but like top five. Yeah.

Top five. And Brian Wilson won't talk to him. Famously eccentric man. So Mark McGrath walks over to Brian Wilson's piano, starts, starts playing God only knows. And Brian Wilson just immediately goes, leave. Wow. Apparently he cried. Mark, if that if that's off goes, leave. Wow. And apparently he cried. Mark, if that's off base, please correct it,

and I will be seeing you very soon. I mean, I would cry. I would cry too. Sure. And I don't even know how to play the piano. Like, it would be a bit if I did it, but I would still cry. Yeah. Who wouldn't cry?

Who wouldn't cry? Wait, so what's your Stamos? You're like, well, Stamos came to interview me. This story takes place in the heyday of Stamos mania.

He's on the Beach Boys. Mania seems to be pretty continuous. I mean, I feel like we're still there, right? It is, but I'm talking Stamos mania at its zenith. He's on Full House. Yes, he's on Full House. He's in the Beach Boys. This is Apex Stamos. Apex Stamos.

And I am a youth. And for some reason, he gets engaged in a conversation with my mom at a restaurant. And here I am. Can I suggest a possible reason? Your mom was bothering him. That is, in fact, a possible reason. My mom is a very social person and will walk up to people and say, hey, how are you? And I am a precocious youth and Kokomo huge with the kids.

And so is John Stamos. And so he's like, hey, kid, do you want to hear me sing Kokomo? And like all of a sudden. You're like Kermit the Frog? Yeah. John Stamos is about to like sing to it. Like what a dream come true. That is, he thinks.

And I said, no, do you know any meatloaf? And I really kind of took the wind out of the sails there. You're a big meatloaf fan as a kid, huh? Let me tell you, I like the Beach Boys. I love Meatloaf. Wow. It's weird what we like as kids, isn't it? My two favorite albums as a child were

Bad Out of Hell 2 and Where Have All the Cowboys Gone by Paul El. The songs that I remember loving more than any other song were Jump for My Love by the Pointer Sisters, which is still totally like exactly. But like the other two songs that I remember feeling so passionately about were From a Distance and The Freaks Come Out at Night by Houdini. I don't know why. What connects to a child? Sure, yeah. I know, I know.

When I think about, because I knew other kids who liked Kokomo. The kids across, they had a tape of it. We would play it. I would say for a period of time, it eclipsed Yellow Submarine as like nautical 60s songs the kids know sure yeah um and yeah like

when i think when i listen to it now and like the lyric bodies in the sand tropical drink melting in your hand i'm like what does an eight-year-old like about that i mean fucking you think that eight-year-olds like fucking polar drinks? There's no papaya in there. They're out on that shit. Okay, let's take a quick break. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, live. We're giving you enough time. Book those plane tickets, those boat passes.

Have you heard about jolly old England? This country is tremendous. Huge clock over there. You're not going to believe the size of this clock. This clock. If you're listening to this in America and you haven't booked your tickets to London, England yet to go see Jordan Jesse go at the London Podcast Festival, which is September 14th at King's Place. My recommendation to you is book some tickets because you're going to love the look of this clock.

Maximumfun.org slash events. We're going to be there goofing around. Our buddy Sarah Morgan's going to join us and special guests to be announced. TBA. TBA. I love TBA good and everything. Good and everything. Love TBA. Who are you

saying that is? To be announced. I understand the joke now. I understand the joke. There you go. Okay. You know, we're also, of course, we're supported always by the members of Maximum Fun. MaximumFun.org slash join. We are also this week supported by the folks over there at Zip Recruiter. You know, Jordan, I used to be a small business owner.

Now I'm a small business worker owner. And that means that recruiting great employees is even more important because when I'm recruiting a new employee, it's not just somebody that's going to work for me. This is going to be one of my fellow worker owners of the Maximum Fund Co-op. It sounds like it's really important. But it seems like with a job that important, you'd want the help of a website with special science tools. Well, good news. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day.

Yeah, that's right. ZipRecruiter uses straightforward pricing and smart technology to invite people to apply for your jobs. They're not just relying on people to find your job listing. They are bringing them in. It's like having comedians in Times Square passing out flyers. But if the flyers were highly qualified job applicants only, they're basically offering you the Glengarry leaves. Jesse, you said it before. It bears repeating. I'm going to say it again. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try ZipRecruiter for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash JJGo. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash JJGo.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,. And I am Sam Haft, spaghetti king of the American Southwest. It occurred to me between segments as I was urinating in the toilet over there that you must have had children bother you because you are one of the YouTube's most famous

music stars. So like there has to be children telling you to sing fucking uh songs in diners after their moms bother you that that has happened less often than you'd think i think you know post screens i think the youths are more shy right um but like we also we do a lot of like comic cons and stuff like that and we'll have signings and people will come up to us. I don't know that I've been asked to sing anything at a convention. I mean, other than the actual performance that we do at the convention. No, they ask you specifically not to sing during the musical performance.

They're like, can you just— Can you not? Because we brought Stamos in, and we really want to show off his pipes. Yeah, it's normally I'm waiting in the back for McGrath to get finished, and I get into the front and I go, teens and surfing, everyone have a good time. Is that Elliot Gould? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The surfing teens.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did a lot of heroin in the 70s. And treated everyone like shit. The bit from the conventions that feels the most like, oh, this is really important to you, is we've had a couple people have us, we have a signature for the band, and a couple people have gotten it tattooed.'ll sign like an arm and they'll show up in a few hours with a tattoo of it. Wait, I want to know about when you say you have a signature for the band. OK, so the band is functionally is you and another dude, right? So do you write the first name and he writes the second name and it's like John Smith or something? So it's a little bit more

like Grateful Dead Bear-esque. It's like an icon. Where it's like a we write T-L-T. It's a dick with a monocle. Yeah. And then draw just a photorealistic human anus. Right. Yeah.

It's like a... That's how you guys know you're real stars. It takes 45 minutes to do for each person. It does. It's worth it. It does. That's how you guys know you're real stars. It takes 45 minutes to do for each person. It does. But it's worth it. It does. There's a lot of shading. And then people trace it over with tattoo. Yes.

But you said people will come to you later that day with the tattoo? With the tattoo. You'll see a bloody bandage. 100%. Wow. Well, it would... I mean, imagine if you went to Sam and you got him to draw the anus and then you accidentally forgot because you're going to do it tomorrow, get the tattoo tomorrow. You forgot you'd shower.

You're like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Now I got to go to Dragon Con too. Yeah, that would be my concern. Now, Jordan, I'm looking over your shoulder. We're in person tonight. I'm looking over your shoulder at our producer, Matt Lieb, and he's indicating to me that there is an update. Huge update. This is normally a news program because people can download it and listen to it at any time.

And few do, frankly, at any time. Well, this is breaking podcast news. Yeah, but we do have a news update here, Matt. Do you need me to go dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun I've gone to domdeluiz.com to check on it. Okay, great. It no longer exists. What? But you can buy it for $50,000. Jesus Christ.

You want a real thoughtful gift. Maximumfund.org slash join. Help us buy domdeluiz.com. What do you think they'd take, though, Matt? Like, they're asking for 50K. Yeah, oh, you can make an offer. There's a button that says make an offer. I'm going to offer. Do you think they'd take

$2,500? Well, we're going to find out. Maybe with a cover letter. My love language is giving gifts. That's what the real estate agent suggests, that you include a letter about how much you would love to live in DomBeloise.com. Okay. Update. I offered $25.

That's fair. I think. Tough, but fair. You meet in the middle. You. Uh-huh. That's fair. I think. Tough, but fair. You meet in the middle. You meet in the middle. That's how negotiations work. Right. And they offered you paulprudhome.com? No, they said your offer does not meet the minimum starting offer requirements set by the seller, which leads me to now question what that is.

So we're going to put in $1,000. I will keep updating you. Oh, you can buy for $1,000. Oh, really? You can buy for $1,000. That was a very short time to update. $1,000 seems like a good value. Yeah, I mean.

One time I tried to buy MaximumFun.com on account of people typing that into the internet looking for my website that I only named.org because I couldn't get.com. You should do that. .com's good. They wanted like $10,000. Who owns it? I don't know. Some fucking Dom DeLuise.

I do. Oh, no. The estate of Dom DeLuise owns it. And there's nothing at MaximumFun.com? No, at least there wasn't when I was trying to buy it. No, it was just someone was sitting on it. Yeah, it's just a photo of Dom DeLuise pouring sauce. Well, and it's your iconic asshole.

Yes. By the way, so I went to the Wayback Machine, and I found when DomDeLuise.com was active. And the website, it has Dom DeLuise with his cookbook. By the way, if you have a website, it should be active 30 minutes a day. Aerobic activity 30 minutes a day for any website. You don't want to close those rings. I like that. Timeshare style.

Mm-hmm. And it's got a bunch of little tabs. One of them is family bios. He's got bios for his entire family. Hey. Wow. Isn't that nice? I believe the son that is friends with my friend was a regular on the Wizards of Waverly Place.

Is it David, Michael, or Peter? I believe it was David. I'm going to say it was David. Okay. son that uh is friends with my friend was a regular on the wizards of waverly place is it david michael or peter i believe it was david i'm gonna say it was david okay his bio is right here um quote the second i started breathing i knew i wanted to be an actor there you go you know right at the womb you know what i knew when i started breathing uh that it was better than not. But that's about it. It was just pretty much this seems right. This feels right.

Let's keep up. I'm going to roll. Yeah. Keep this going and see where things lead. Beautiful. Matt, keep us posted. If anything happens, keep an eye on DomDelouise.com. If there's any late-breaking updates, feel free to just break in and interrupt us.

Can I ask you a question, Matt? Yeah, what's up? What does it cost to get domdelouise.pizza? I'll let you know in a few minutes. Because, I mean, you guys have seen this guy's sauce, right? It's a good sauce. He's making a meatball

pizza, maybe it looks like. Maybe. Let's see. I'm going to tell you. He's got a meatball pizza, maybe it looks like. Maybe. Let's see. I'm going to tell you. He's got this fresh watermelon. There's some greenery, but it's been pushed off to the side. It has completely sidelined this gourd and this artichoke. And then he's got some dough balls. And then he's got some charcuterie down here. And then he has what really does look like some meatballs on top of an uncooked pizza.

And what I like is he's just got this mug that's labeled cheese. Right. It's nice. It looks like that, to me, that cheese mug, that was a branded cheese shaker that they had to put a copyright-friendly logo over. Which you could, for a time, buy at DomDeLuise.com. Oh, wow. You know, I feel like maybe instead of MaximumFun.com, you should buy DomDeLuise.com. Go all in.

It's a better value. Go all in. It will probably cost less. Yeah. And it's going to appreciate. It will. It will. In a way that MaximumFun.com, let's be frank, never will.

I mean, you've heard this show. I think just change all the branding. You can find us at DomDelouise.com. And then you'll get people going there for, you know, like Smokey and the Bandit clips. And like, well, while I'm here, I might as well check out some podcasts. Jordan, I'm looking at this cheese mug. Yeah. And I do see that it has what looks like that kind of white perforated top,

like that it is a shaker. But I can't discount the possibility that it's a cheese drink of some kind. Oh, like he has just a cup of hot cheese in the morning to get going? Yeah, just wake up, pour yourself a fondue, and you know

what I mean? Start the day. I'm not saying for sure. I'm just saying it seems possible. I have an update. Okay. Update. Can you do the noise? So, I'm doing it. Jordan, Jordan, Jordan.

Jesse. Jordan, you can't replace me. You can buy DomDeLuise.com for $500. Wow. I made another offer. That doesn't... So they accepted $1,000 and you're like, okay. Yeah, I like it.

You can keep lowballing them until they get mad. Uh, $500 doesn't seem like a bad... I mean, like, how many ads realistically would you have to sell to make... You just, you license a picture of Dom DeLuise. There's probably something on Flickr or whatever, right? Sure, yeah. Just get a free Flickr picture of Dom Deluise. There's probably something on Flickr or whatever. Sure, yeah. Just get a free Flickr picture of Dom Deluise. Matt, search

Flickr. First of all, find out if Flickr still exists. Second, see if there's any Creative Commons open license pictures of Double D, Double DL, and then we'll put together a proposal for this website. I'm thinking a picture and then some porno ads or something.

Yeah, you won't believe what this 90s star looks like now. You won't believe what Dom DeLuise jacks off on. I think you just paywall the picture. The whole website's one picture. You want to see this photo of Dom DeLuise? A dollar. How about this? You only need 500 people to do it.

We can get 500 people to do that. How about I blur Dom DeLuise's face, but we still see the sauce. Guess he won't believe whose sauce this is. Sincerely, DomDeLuise.com. You can see this uncensored photo of Dom Delouise for a dollar. Signed admin. Well, Matt, as you're monitoring the website, we would like to discuss something we've been discussing and will continue to discuss throughout the entire summer season.

Summer boy activities and our guests and callers that are doing them. Yeah. Good segue, huh? Let's start with one from a caller. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. I'm going to say Riley Silverman. Not close. It's been a while.

This is Andy from Brooklyn. I have a summer boy moment and a summer boy realization. Last weekend, I went to the Coney Island Mermaid Parade and it made me realize that I think a quintessential quality of a great summer activity exemplified by the Mermaid Parade is that it is both

horny and kid appropriate. Yeah. That's my summer boy take. Do more things that are both a little horny and also it's okay to bring a four-year-old. I'm with this 100%. One of my favorite children's books written by our old improv teammate from college, Jessica Love, is called Julian is a Mermaid. is a mermaid and uh that is a show about uh that is a book about a little girl whose grandmother helps her dress for the mermaid parade and it is the most breathtakingly beautiful and sweet

and gender affirming book that could possibly exist just such a fucking great book and um also like i it would not take much for me to be horny for a mermaid, especially if they had those kind of like a— The clam bra? Yeah, clams. Yeah, clam bra. Talking about clam bra. Yeah, I'm talking about a clam bra. You know what?

I'd go for a clam bra. I'd go for a clam broth. That sounds nice. You know what I mean? If you have a cold. I bet Dom DeLuise has a a clam broth. I'd go for a clam broth. That sounds nice. You know what I mean? Nice. If you have a cold. I bet Dom DeLuise has a good clam broth. I know.

And I think this caller has hit on something. And yes, I do think there is something to summer boy activities being kid appropriate, but also having a little something for daddy. Right. Daddies of all genders. Yeah. Also, having a little something for daddy. Right. Daddies of all genders.

Yeah. And, you know, what jumped to mind for me, Universal Studios. Oh, yeah. A great summertime destination. Some great stuff for four-year-olds. The Waterworld stunt show, for instance. Yeah. The Tiki Bar, great. Really good.

Oh, yeah, sure. The drinks right by the Jurassic ride. There you go. Some good stuff there. yeah, sure. The drinks right by the Jurassic ride. There you go. Some good stuff there. Down some Tikis. I feel a little amorous towards Optimus Prime who comes out around there. Yeah. I got my debit card stolen at that Tiki Bar.

Really? Well, you know, the card physically wasn't stolen, but I swiped it in the machine and then I got, you know, people started spending money at the Crocs store using my card. But I will say- We got it. Quick to the Crocs store. Crocs store. That's a summer boy retailer right there.

You're right. You're absolutely right. I noticed today, I was at the Rose Bowl Flea Market. Oh, nice. The Rose Bowl Flea Market has a huge vintage clothing area. Nice. Rose Bowl Flea Market has a huge vintage clothing area. Like, probably, I would, if you told me it was the biggest vintage clothing show in the world,

I would not be surprised in the slightest. Really huge. And the latest trend in vintage clothing is what they call Y2K. This is the styles around the year 2000 yeah broadly so it's like shirts that have plane crashes on them it's sort of britney britney spears type shirt yeah and um one of the weird byproducts of that is that um as i walk that as I walk amongst beautiful young people in the Rose Bowl parking lot among these vendors, all hot 22-year-olds of every gender are dressed like hot 22-year-olds when I was 22. Like it is a very disconcerting, confusing liminal space to occupy where you aren't sure if it's creepy because you're don't remember how old you are now because you're surrounded by

people in like belly button shirts. Yeah. The low rise boot cut jeans for everybody. It is really a baffler. And you see them in those fashions, and you look at them, and you're like, they don't even know who Crazy Town is. They've never even heard of Crazy Town. Yeah, they'd probably think M.O.P. stands for Mop and Shit.

Thank you. Yeah, LFO. They don't know what Mark McGrath's band Sugar Ray used to be called before it had a copyright infringement issue one of these dudes okay was there

I said to him this is a true story I said to him you know the Chinese food makes me sick song LFO what does it stand for

you know what he said to me heavy funky ones what this guy's posers these fucking posers. I'm an authentic fan of Canadian pop rock rap crew. If you really love the music of that era, you know all the acronyms.

Thank you. Thank you very much. OMC? Mm-hmm. Otara Millionaire's Club? Wow, good pull. Yeah. Somebody did a good job writing for's Club. Wow. Good pull. Yeah. Somebody did a good job writing for their music trivia app.

Sure did. What's your top three trivias that you wrote for the trivia app? There was one about- We have two categories, McGrath and other. Yeah. I mean, it was just the sheer degree of McGrathery was one. And then there was one about like Gloria Estefan having a big tour bus crash. Oh no, I hope she's okay.

You know what? Actually, I couldn't tell you. Matt, could you check Dom Delway's comments? Update, you can buy it for $100. Get it! It's so funny. You offer $25 and they're like, will you do $26?

Let's all give $25 and buy it. I got fade on $100. I'll put $50 in on it. Done. Already bought. Let's do it. Did you truly just buy TomTillWings.com? I'm going to write an expense sheet so you'll pay me back, right?

Just use Sam's credit card. Yeah. I'll buy some Crocs with it. Yeah. Get some Crocs, a nice website. Okay. Something about Gloria Estefan's bus crash. Yeah.

I hope she's okay. I believe there was a bus crash. Mm-hmm. That's what it is. It sounds like a Miami unsound machine to me. Well, okay. Hold on, Jesse. Come on.

Come on. Relax. The machine seems like it was unsound. Relax, bulldog. Okay. Jesse. Come on. Sorry. Come on. Relax. The scene seems like it was unsound. Relax, bulldog. Okay. Put away your teeth. Oh, the dog is out. The dog's out of the yard.

Big dog's got to eat. The Miami Sandwich. Watch out, Sheila E. I'm coming for you next. Run, Lisa Lisa. Yeah, I wish I could say this was kind of a slumdog millionaire situation. Lisa Lisa's safe. I'm only coming for cult jam.

Yeah, I wish I could say this was a situation where I've retained a bunch of arcane knowledge about pop rock. Yeah, there's those jobs you kind of hate, and then your brain can't wait to get rid of them after you've done the job. That's the one. And the only thing that won't is mark mcgrath while he's still alive right who knows how long that will be for i don't know so what is it okay so what are your you're a you're a father i am a father you're a stepfather i am a stepfather what summer boy activities do you think you have either already completed or may have in your future this summer? Well, I don't mean to brag, but I have a pool. Okay.

So I, you know. So you're going to pee in there. That's for sure. Already done, my friend. I mean, I have a four-year-old. Welcome to our pool. Notice there's a pee at the beginning. It's because I peed in it.

Yeah. I don't know if there's room for my pee after all the pee my four-year-old has deposited into my pool. Oh, yeah. I get full of pee. Sure. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Loves to pee in the pool.

One of his favorite activities. But, you know, peeing in the pool, that's a summer boy activity. Yeah, it is. That's number one. You got any good floaties in there? Oh yeah, we got good floaties. We got some pool noodles. We got... You don't like a pool noodle?

It's not that I'm... Look. It's not that I don't think pool noodles should exist. I'm not trying to wipe them from the earth. I'm just saying, if you come with,, yeah, we got some good floaties. And you're like, we got pool noodles. What else? You got kickboards? Congratulations, Sam.

I'm starting with the pool noodles. I don't want to wow you with the floaty chair out of the gate. Okay. Ruin you for when I bring up the pool noodles later. Okay. Then the second thing better be McGrath. Well, the pool noodles are the aperitif. And then we, you know, we get

to the floaty chair. You're coursing it out. What other kind of floaties? You got one of those hamburgers? I don't have a hamburger floaty. It's too bad, you know, Elliot Kalin's got one of those hamburger ones. Probably fun to ride around on a hamburger. Yeah, I do have it's like a dog, but in the shape of an inner tube. That's fun.

Yeah, no, that's really great. That's good. Yeah, okay. Fair enough. He's a summer boy, folks. He's a summer boy. That's a real summer boy. Now we all get the tattoo.

Matt, fire up the gun. I am the last of my siblings to not have a tattoo. Really? And I keep kind of joking about it with my wife who has tattoos. And I keep going oh, are we getting our tattoo today? And she always treats it as a

joke, but if she's listening to this it's not a joke. I'll just go get one. Get a tattoo with your husband if you're listening. Just go get it. Next time. Next time just say, yeah, okay, let's go. Let's go.

Let's go get a tattoo. He loves you. He loves you. Can I make a suggestion? Yeah. Maybe your wife gets half a heart that says best and then you get half a heart that says friends. Aw. That's cute.

That is pretty cute. You put your butts together and people can read them. And then underneath you, hers says who, and then yours says sex. Nice. Yeah. So it's best friends who sex. Yes, best friends who sex. Which is what love is, Jordan.

Hold on. Let me look for my notes app. Hold on. Can you do that again? Do you remember? The half hearts also, they're going to face in, not out. So we have to go like anus to anus to make them link. Sure.

But, I mean, that's a little something called love, Jordan. Hold on, I put my phone away. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's official. MaxFun has become a co-op. We're now a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you. Thanks to supporters and listeners like you,

MaxFun will always be a place where employees have a say. Thanks to you, shows can continue to partner with an independent, values-driven network. Thanks to you, we're able to carry on our commitment, values-driven network. Thanks to you, we're able to carry on our commitment to our shows and the community we've grown together. Learn more about what becoming a co-op means for us and you at MaximumFun.org slash co-op. That's MaximumFun.org slash c-o-o-p. Hey MaxFun listeners, this is Cameron Esposito I'm a stand-up comic, actor, writer, best-selling author

and popcaster I got a great show called Query where I interview LGBTQ plus luminaries across, oh, a bunch of fields people in entertainment astronauts, oh, a bunch of fields, people in entertainment, astronauts, musicians, rock stars. I am bringing the show to Maximum Fun. You can listen right now. And I am so happy to be on this network. We have new episodes out every Monday. You can listen at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Sam Haft, very spicy meatball. Did you know, Jordan, and I can't believe that it took this long for this to come up on the show, and we're in the homestretch here, admittedly, but I didn't want to let this pass.

I'm pretty sure Sam is the first Pokemon we've ever had on the show. Have you never been a Pokemon this whole time? In fact, he is the first six Pokemons, according to PocketMonsters.net. Wow. We're talking about Metapod, Venomoth, Marowak, Scyther, Scizor, and Tapu Bulu.

What's this? I don't understand anything that's going on. Those are names of pocket monsters from the beloved anime franchise Pokemon. Right. And why is Jesse saying you're those? Maybe this helps, Jordan. Tapu

Bolu? Yep. His, or their, they're genderless, their ability is grassy surge. Okay. Does that help? No, not at all.

Why are you saying? Well, it turns the ground into grassy terrain when the Pokemon enters. I just don't know how he could be getting any clearer, frankly. Can I offer one more clarification about Tapu Bolu? Not capable of breeding. Okay, so I know that Pokemon is a game. More clarification about Tapu Bolu. Not capable of breeding. Okay, so I know that Pokemon is a game. Yes.

Does that help? It's not important to me. I was a little too old for it when it came out. I know a lot of the characters because they're Summons and Smash Brothers. I was not too old for that. Maybe I was. Who cares? So I know, you know, Pikachu, Charizard.

Why is Jesse saying you're the Pokemon? Well, I cut my teeth as a youth in the rough and tumble voiceover game in New York City. And I have been a dubbing actor for Pokemon for some time. Oh, my gosh. So you're the voices of all those Pokemon that Jesse read. Yes, yes. The original're the voices of all those Pokemon that Jesse read. Yes, yes. The original voice for some of them. For some of them, there was someone else who did it early in the 90s, and then I came in and did my take on it. Is Metapod here with us right now?

So I would actually love nothing more than to do this, but I'm contractually not allowed to do the voices outside of the show. Because I think there's either maybe perhaps a worry that Metapod may have some strong opinions about the Israel-Palestine conflict. Right. Something along those lines. Weirdly, he's pro. Which seems like a weird. Just pro the whole conflict. Just supports the conflict. Yeah, no. Let it rage? he's pro which seems like a weird just pro the whole conflict just supports

the conflict yeah no so I'm let it rage since Metapod one of the things on his live journal

that you're really not supposed to do is you know well this does not hold true for every show

but yeah you're not supposed to embarrass the brand there's specific ways you're supposed to talk about it. You can't be like, yeah, I'm Metapod. You can say, I did the voice for Metapod in this season. You know, you do not want to create any confusion

that could make anyone think that any of your opinions happen to be the opinions of Metapod, a creation of the Pokemon company. Can I ask you a quick question about Venomoth slash Morphon? Yes. Would you say obviously you can't say that you're Venomoth, right? No. I don't

even remember if I am. Well, according, I'm looking at pocketmonsters.net here. I'm not gonna, I don't think it's appropriate for you to contradict the experts. You're very right. You can't say that you're Venomoth. It makes a lot of sense. You portrayed Venomoth.

You could say I'm one of Venomoth's helpers. Yeah, exactly. That means that you helped Venomoth breed. Yes. I was one of Venomoth. You jack him off and store his sperm. Here's my question. If you can't say you are Venomoth, can you say you have Wonderskin?

I mean, if online it says Venomoth has Wonderskin, it is probably a commentary on my complexion, frankly. I've been thinking I had the same thought about Venomoth which is there's a certain glow with Sam and Venomoth there's a certain glow Is Venomoth pregnant? That's why I get these roles Can I ask you a follow up question Sam?

You don't have to answer this if you're contractually not allowed to Is Venomoth pregnant? There's some fan art Because Jordan's been working on it. I'm working on it. Yeah, I would say if you Googled pregnant

Venomoth, I don't think you'd be disappointed. Google pregnant Venomoth. And to be clear, the little button on that joke is none of my opinions represent those of the Pokemon Company or any of it. No, of course, nothing said on this show represents.

Found it, found it, found it, found it. Pregnant Venomoth. There it is. I don't like it. I wish I hadn't. I'm going to do this. Take a look and see. Oh, Pregnant Venomoth by Viceroy.

Oh, you're giving a shout out to the fan artist. Well, I don't want to credit. Look at Pregnant Venomoth. Holyicerrel. Oh, you're giving a shout-out to the fan artist. Well, I want to credit. Look at Pregnant Venomoth. Holy mackerel. Oh, my gosh. So swollen. Look at it. That sure is a Pregnant Venomoth.

Beautiful. Very. I mean, who knew? I mean, apparently Venomoths are mammals. I thought they were some kind of bug, but... To me, the real heroes, single Venomoths. Thank you. Thank you very much.

To me. You know what? Although I'm a Venomoth family values guy. Oh, you think there should be a Venomoth father in the picture? Yeah, I think ultimately that there is a cultural problem in the Venomoth community. Well, I think a Venomoth can cultural problem in the Venomoth community. Well, I think a Venomoth can live a full and complete life without pregnancy.

They can have it all. A Venomoth can have it all. Is there any truth to the rumors of a Venomoth reboot? Are there any? We'll get it. Let's get that clean. Is there any truth to the rumors of a Venomoth reboot of Murphy Brown? You know, I wouldn't want to speculate, but let's just say if we've been having conversations about it, I would be under NDA. Skizor is a type of pincer Pokemon. Of course.

Of course. A lot of people think, oh, well, I'll tell you this. Is this an ability I didn't expect? This is an ability that Skizor shares with LFO. Okay. He's wearing Abercrombie and Fitch. Which is light metal. Right. So light metal is something that both LFO. Okay. Which is? He's wearing Abercrombie and Fitch. Which is light metal.

Right. Right. So light metal is something that both LFO and Skizor, not Tapu Bolo, though. No. No, of course not. Tapu Bolo's more of a ska guy. My greatest passion is just to read the words on Pokemon things. Listen, it's been a great show.

Yeah. Why don't we... Holy shit! Sorry, this is the last Pokemon thing I'm going to read. Breaking Pokemon news. Okay, so Marowak... Yes. Slash Garagara,

which is G, get help. Yeah. That's the situation. Marowak, who's a bonekeeper Pokemon. Right. He has a few powers. Lightning Rod, Rock Head, Battle Armor. And of course, Cursed Body.

Cursed Body. Body's cursed. Well, like with Wonderskin, based on a real cursed body. Right. That's what they say about me. Wonderful skin, cursed body. Cursed body. It is truly grotesque.

I have not been. And, you know, I just, I really appreciate the two of you for not commenting about it. Yeah. Okay. Until now. And now we're kind of making it a focus. It was sort of the elephant man in the room. Until now, and now we're kind of making it a focus.

It was sort of the elephant man in the room. I actually do think we do have one more DomDeLuise.com update to get to before we say goodbye. All right. Okay. You can get DomDeLuise.org for free. Also, this website, it actually shows the domain seller and all the other domains he owns that he is currently selling. So he also is selling Delouise.com for $50,000. That's worth $25,000 at best.

I agree. BJ's Pizza, he owns the domain for it. He's selling it for $250,000. Oh. If you're a BJ with a pizzeria, get a different fucking website. That's what he says. And he owns multiple different iterations of Howard Stern's wife's name dot com.

By the way. Wait, hold on. Dom DeLuise's current website is Handjob Red Sauce. Is the website the name of Howard Stern's wife, or is it howardsternswife.com? He also owns howardsternswife.com, but he also owns bethostrovskystern.com, betho.com, bethostrovsky.com, and marijuanaBoogie.com for $50,000. I mean, MarijuanaBoogie.com is a genuinely excellent URL. One of the best I've heard.

I'm kind of into rebranding Maximum Fund. Marijuana Boogie? Yeah, we've got a lot of great places to pivot here. Why would I spend $10,000 on MaximumFund.com when I could spend, what is it, $50,000? $50,000 for Marijuana Boogie. When I could put $50,000 on MaximumFun.com when I could spend, what is it? $50,000? $50,000 when I can put $50,000 on MarijuanaBoogie.com

Sounds like we could probably have all these for $100,000 right? Does he have peyote pals? No, but he has chickswithbigtits.com and he's selling that for $200,000. That's a steal for that. I think so too. Yeah, it seems like a good value. A lot of traffic. I have not gotten

the traffic I have wanted on chickswithsmalltits.com. It's still good traffic. Sure. It's nothing that anyone should feel bad about. No. Still very good traffic. I'm moving maximum fun to mediumdicks.net. Smallbutwide.org.

40th to 60th percentile is going to be our new. Yeah. Okay. Well, Sam, it's been a joy. I saw that you, as we record this, you already have a single out, but the EP, Extra Play Recording, is imminent, very imminent. What is the release date? The release date is July 14th. By the way, when does this come out?

This is going to come out, I mean, I don't know. What would you say it's going to come out, Matt? You're the producer. I forgot to press record. Okay. It will not come out. It's going to replay an old Chris Fairbanks episode. Matt's like, there's a podcast?

I thought we were just friends. Hang it out. We're here and you're out there. We're definitely not friends. Matt, what are we looking at? That's right around when this is coming out, right? It's coming out the 13th. Okay.

Oh, perfect. Here it is. So Mark McGrath will still be with us at that point. Okay, excellent. So I don't want to end it with that. But yeah, it's coming out on the 14th. It's called Bad Times. It is about bad times.

It's a five-track EP. I am greatly looking forward to y'all getting a listen. And it will be available wherever music can be streamed. Which Pokemons are on it? You know, they were busy. Bulbasaur is an incredible bassist. He played with Seely Dan for a while.

He did, he did. But then he got pregnant. Controversially. Had to leave the wrecking crew. Not capable of reproduction, it says here. We'll see about that, right? Well, Sam, how about this? to leave the wrecking crew if we got pregnant. Not capable of reproduction, it says here. Right. We'll see about that, right? Well, Sam,

how about this? Could we put the single on the end of the... Absolutely. Okay. Yeah. What are we about to hear? What are we about to hear on the end of this show?

We are about to hear a kind of pop R&B song called Afterburn, which is kind of the r&b song called afterburn which is uh kind of the most uh down tempo song on this record it's about the time you tried to fuck it is and i'm you know i'm still recovering but those were some bad times and that's why i've got this album this is a pretty this is sincere album and i'm making it about pokemons. What is the song actually about? Oh, my God. Well, the whole album, Bad Times, is kind of a look at the end of a relationship

from various points in time at the end of the relationship from various points of view of the end of the relationship. And Afterburn is about that space between the kind of explosivity of a bad breakup and the kind of awfulness of the social fallout of, like, what is going to happen? How is this going to make its mark on me as a person and, like, fuck me up and traumatize me and that kind of thing?

So sort of like my wife, or my former wife has tattoos. I don't. I refuse to get one and that kind of thing. So sort of like my wife, my former wife has tattoos, I don't, I refuse to get one, that kind of thing? Yeah, yeah, that exact situation. No, it's, you know, I greatly hope you enjoy it. I think it's a

very good song. I don't know why I turned it to Jiminy Glick at the end of there. Always a good move. Go Glick. Glick for the dismount. Once you go click, you never go back. Once you go click, you'll never watch Click, the Adam Sandler movie

where he has a magical remote control. That's the mnemonic. Well, Sam, we're very grateful for your time. Thank you so much for coming on the show. Thank you so much for having me on. I had a very, very lovely time. What a joy to do it. Our producer is Matt Lieb. He's our friend.

He's our friend. He's our friend. Thank you. This guy's our friend. Great guy. Great producer. Great guy, great producer. Great guy, great producer.

Terrible dad. Awful father. This guy checked out the second that baby came out. Checked the fuck out. Brian Sonny D. Fernandez, our producer emeritus. Our theme music, Love You by The Free Design. Our thanks to The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records for sharing that with us.

You can join us on social medias, maximumfun.reddit.com is a nice social media to visit. You can follow us on Instagram at jordandavidmorris at put.this.on. I think all the other social medias are burning down right now, so we'll just leave it at that. If you want to send us a call, JJ, go at MaximumFun.org, and we'll see you in London if you live near London. And let's hear Sam's single. I didn't want love, didn't want someone to grow on Maybe we were a little too young, we won't be young when we're done Now back to one Didn't want lessons to learn

Didn't think something good could turn Can't feel much after the nerves burn And then in the end You're not a friendly face Is that what you intend? Once you ring that bell, can't take that back Now everything has come to them Have you been there recently?

Can you dream, do you see me? Can you even breathe at all? Scared to death before the fall Anticipation's worse You're numb to pain You're in the afterburn In the afterburn In the afterburn

In the afternoon Afternoon Find a new life Play in house, be a new wife Try to make what you got last Forget the past Forget the times that you shed tears Forget the blood shed over your fears, nothing left after the smoke clears

Do you still dwell, can you still smell the earth? When they ask why, do you still rise? You might want more mess Ask why do you still lie as you lie in warm air Have you been there losing sleep? When you dream do you see me? Can you even breathe at all? Scared to death before the fall Anticipation's worse You're numb to pain, you're in the afterbirth

In the afterbirth Afterburn, afterburn, are you still there losing sleep?