Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Duo Lipo, with Phoebe Robinson

Episode Date: December 26, 2024

On this week’s episode, we welcome comedian and writer, Phoebe Robinson, to chat about her new show (Clash of the Cookbooks - out now!), wooing Pedro Pascal, the deliciousness of the alphabet, and so much more!Be sure to catch Clash of the Cookbooks, now streaming on The Roku Channel.  You can watch it on Roku devices or TVs, and it's also easily accessible online at TheRokuChannel.com, iOS and Android devices, Amazon Fire TVs, Samsung TVs and Google TVs and other Android TV OS devices.Justice for migrants. Please consider donating to Al Otro Lado this holiday season.Jordan is writing an official Spider-Man comic!Be sure to get our new 'Ack Tuah' shirt in the Max Fun store.Or, grab an 'Ack Tuah' mug!The Maximum Fun Bookshop!Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes!Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On.Go see Free With Ads and Judge John Hodgman LIVE at SF Sketchfest!Come see Judge John Hodgman: Road Court  live in a town near you! Jesse and John will be all over the country so don't miss your change to see them. Check the events page to find out where!Follow brand new producer, Steven Ray Morris, on Instagram.Listen to See Jurassic Right!

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Doe. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, lousy with pork. Oh, Jordan. You're such a great friend.

Well, I don't know. I'm pretty good. You're such a great friend. I don't know. I'm pretty good. You're such a great friend and such a wonderful guy. I'm pretty good. Great friend and such a wonderful guy. Cut it out. And in my opinion, the best way to honor a great friend, to greet their wholeness, to engage all of them and welcome it into your heart is with the gift of pork and specifically cured pork.

Through the mail. Yeah, by mail. Sent through the mail. Jesse, I received the most wonderful holiday gift. We're recording this, you know, a few days before XMS. I received a wonderful holiday gift from my wonderful friend, Jesse Thorne and Teresa Thorne. That's me. That's my wife. My two wonderful friends.

I'm Jesse. My wife is Teresa. Just a giant box, just filled to the brim with all sorts of vacuum packed porks. And I have never been happier. It was a wonderful gift and not just pork, there were other items in there too from an outfit that I believe is called Fathers. Yeah, Fathers Country Hams in Bentonville, Kentucky, I believe. That's from memory. Years and years ago, like maybe like 12 years ago or something. On Bullseye, my NPR program, I interviewed the great Jonathan Gold, the late great Jonathan Gold, Pulitzer winning food writer, who has since passed

away. But the two questions that I really had to drill down with him on were number one, how is it that you hate eggs? The most democratic eater in the history of the world, like a man known for going into any situation and figuring out what the best food there is and just truly hated eggs in all forms. And the other was, where should I buy my pork? And Jonathan Gold came through with a great treatise on how gross eggs are and a great source for pork, which is Father's Country Hams of Bentonville, Kentucky. I mean, not to note fathers to death, because obviously they're doing great. They got the Jonathan Gold stamp of approval. If they didn't want notes, they wouldn't have executives. Go ahead.

Thank you. Do you think they could appeal to a younger demographic, a more online demographic by changing the name to daddy's? Yeah, I think that is a good idea, especially since some of those bacon slices are pretty thick. Yeah, sure. Thick slices from daddy through the mail. Is it making sense anymore? Jordan, this is our program. It has never made sense.

Stop trying to make our show make sense, Jordan. But yes, thank you. I'm really looking forward to doing all kinds of things with this pork. You know, again, and not to like, not to like side eye a wonderful gift. I couldn't help but maybe think sending me a gift from a place called Fathers was, you know, a kind of taunt to me for not having kids, not having a son. So specifically, for folks who are listening, Jordan doesn't have a son. No, no son.

I'm working on it. Yeah, he's working on it. He's got to get a son. Have you been doing anything to pursue that at all, Jordan? Yeah, Jesse Thorne. Yeah, and for new listeners, I mean, we have a pretty big guest today, so we probably have some new listeners trying the show for the first time. When Jesse asked me if I'm getting a son, I respond with my famous catchphrase,

ahem, ahem, I'm working on it. Yeah, he's working on getting a son, folks. Should we introduce our guest on the program? I would love to. Yeah, yeah. I'm glad that our little chat at the top of the show was food-related, because she's now a food celebrity. She was already a podcasting comedy legend. Now she's a food celebrity because she's

the host of the brand new Roku original Clash of the Cookbooks, the great Phoebe Robinson. Hi, Phoebe. How are you? Hi, I am well and I vote for being called daddies. That is It's official. Sorry, fathers. You have to change your name. Yeah. Phoebe, do you eat a pork or a ham or do you abstain? Yeah, I eat pork and ham. I don't eat it as much. But, you know, it's good. A special treat. Yeah. Sometimes you want like a little bacon on like a little...

If you're having a burger, you just want to really just go for it. Like, you know, put the bacon on like a little if you having a burger You just want to really just go for like yeah, the bacon on there come on Just do it when we worked at the college radio station kzsc the heavyweight 88 There was a nice man named Phineas who worked there Phineas was not a student at UC Santa Cruz. He was just a local 20 year old drifter Santa Cruz. He was just a local 20-year-old drifter and a white guy with dreadlocks. Very sweet. He was always in the lobby of the radio station eating carob butter with like a butter knife, just like going into a jug of carob butter, like almond butter or something, I don't know, and scooping it out and just eating it off the knife as though that's a food meal because he worked at the bulk food store and he could get as much bulk food as he wanted for free.

Anyway, one time Phineas was explaining to me why he doesn't eat pork and he said, pork is bad for you because pigs can't sweat so they can't get their toxins out and I expressed to him that I was pretty sure that pigs do peepee and poo poo which is like one of the top ways to get toxins out like if you need to get toxins out. But I do think there is validity and the not being able to sweat like because that is sweating does release a lot of bad juju out of your body. And now I'm like, I never thought I would consider anything a white man with dreads would say,

but I am considering, I'm considering this. Wow, tell that to Mr. Jones. Phoebe, were you, before you, before you became a food celebrity, do you do a lot of cooking around the house? Do you collect the cookbooks that are featured so prominently in the show? I don't cook much. I cooked a little bit over COVID because I think I was like, I'm bored, let me get an instant pot and do some one pot meals. But I really do just.

Suvying, I guess. How long is this going to last? Yeah. But yeah, I like to, you know, order in or go out to restaurants to eat. Like, that's a thing that I really do actually enjoy because, you know, every restaurant has its own sort of vibe and energy. And so I really like seeing how things are put together. But doing this show, I just, like,

I never really thought about cookbooks, you know, I just, cause my dad was just very much a person who, you know, he just like had these recipes. So he like, wasn't often relying on cookbooks. And so it was really nice to think of cooking in this way and seeing by challenging people to whether it's like the Titanic cookbook or the side flow cookbook and like challenge them to use their skill set and marry that with following instructions. I thought was I was like, Oh,

that's so cool. So I really like that. Did your dad have like a little, you know, tin box full of index cards with recipes on it, like handwritten index cards? Yes. He has a little binder and I always see him like updating things and like changing like, you know, different quantities or whatever. But yeah, he is building like his little cookbook. Yeah, I'd love to have a binder. My mom was an index card recipe user

Just like all these like yellowed index cards that have been in ten states that are yeah Just kind of make their way everywhere. Yeah, that's cool. There was a time when people would still hand you business cards like at a conference or something and I had a little business card binder and I would like put the business cards into the binder. And someone convinced me totally correctly that you didn't have to sort them. You could just put them in temporarily sorted. Like the most recent one is at the bottom kind of thing.

Or defer this into the book. Just put the next one after the last one. And I just felt like such a king of business to have a little book of business cards. Like I just felt like such a businessman. It was such an exciting joy to have my own little binder. I love that. I will say it is absolutely chaotic to not alphabetize it. I like, I like you telling me that I'm stressed out. So I know I need to not alphabetize it. I, like, I, like you telling me that, I'm stressed out. So I know I need to work on that,

because I'm like, it's, it's Jessie's life. It's Jessie's life, and it happened in the past. It happened in the fucking past. Yeah, there's no reason to lose sleep over a binder that doesn't exist anymore. Phoebe, it worked so well. You know when you met the person right when you're looking for But I just am like

The alphabet is such a delicious piece of order Mm-hmm. Yeah, so little we can control in life and you know, yeah God created the alphabet for a reason He came down he gave Moses the alphabet. It's been a while since I've read the Bible. But I think that's how it went. Phoebe, I'm kind of new to like food shows. I kind of got into them kind of recently. And I always wonder as as like one of the judges, how much we see you taking a couple of bites on camera, right, to judge the food. How much of that food do you get to eat?

That is a good question, because you are sort of like you want to pace yourself because you know, you're going to be eating all day. But there would definitely be like, oh, when we're doing a little camera stop down, I would just say keep nibbling. I'm like, if I really liked it, I'm like, I'll just keep eating some more of it. But you try to like not do too much of that because you don't want to like tip the contestants off to be like, oh, she really liked this one as opposed to that one, but I'd definitely be like, I'm going to take this rack of lamb to the bathroom.

The rack of lamb has to be, I'll be back in a minute. Oh, it had to go home. I mean, how many are you shooting in a day? That seems like a key consideration here. So this is six episodes, we shot them in five days. Wow. Okay, so that's not like, like we have a friend who is one of the hosts of Jeopardy. And I think he, Ken Jennings, tell us his name is Ken Jennings.

I love Ken so much. Wonderful guy, very, very funny. Very funny guy. He is really funny. It's sort of not fair how funny he is. Yeah. Yeah. But Ken, especially given that he, he did a live

show with us once in Seattle. And he doesn't swear and seems sincerely unbothered by the just like deep vulgarity of our program. But also, also didn't swear the entire time. I was so impressed. Yeah. It was incredible. It was funnier than swear the entire time. I was so impressed. Yeah. It was incredible. It was funnier than us the whole time. Yeah. Yeah.

I guess my mom was right. You don't have to swear to be. He is really. You just have to know the capital of every country. Yeah, he's really funny and charming. And he told me he listened to Tudow Queens. And I was like, oh my God. That's what's up.

That show was ridiculous, but thank you for listening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the dream. That's the dream. I think they like, those game shows, they'll record like six in a day. Like they'll just blast through. Because Ken doesn't even live in LA.

Like he just flies down, makes 75 episodes of Jeopardy, and then flies back home. It's really incredible. Yeah, yeah. But I think like hosting, you know, whether it's a game show or a cooking show like this, you know, it was great to be paired with Max cause he's the cookbook expert. And so I was allowed to, you know,

provide more of the like color like silly jokey entertainment of that. And it's like, once you know how to like host and embrace the know how to make your personality work for a show, it really does, I don't know, it just doesn't feel like hard work. It feels like this is so fun. I get to watch other people cook and express their creativity,

and I get to eat what they make. I'm like, okay, if you want to pay me to do that, sure. That sounds awesome. It's so fun. It's, you know, it's great. I loved it. The food on the show is so delicious looking. I watched the episode where where people make food that was served on the Titanic. There's a Titanic cookbook. I've said it before and I've said it again, I would have loved to have been on that ship. Yeah.

Loved. What a dream. What an incredible adventure that would be to be on that beautiful ship. I mean this thing is a Phoebe this beautiful ship is unsinkable. Yeah I watched half a movie about this and it looked so fun. It is so cool. Let me tell you something. I had to leave halfway through the movie because it was a little long, but. Really cool movie. My favorite part was, there was a part where the people on the show had to make like an Egyptian or Sumerian bread just based on a picture of some hieroglyphs. Yeah, I was like, that sucks for you guys

because I would have been screwed. I've been like, what the hell is this? Yeah. And just some like spelt or something Yeah, some some weird Egyptian grain that you've never heard of and they had to like make it into a little like a it looks sort of like in between a cinnamon roll and the leavings of an ill dog From this like spelt or millet or whatever it was dog from this like spelt or millet or whatever it was.

Yeah. I think that why I liked that one too a lot because it's like, obviously, you know, you're going to have to provide your own interpretation like this. You can't just go like, Oh, it's, I need cumin. I need whatever, whatever. I'm going to make this. It's like, all right, I just got to sort of like figure it out. So I think it was a cool way to see the way that they thought, like how they were able to rely on their culinary knowledge and how they were

just creative. So I thought that that was really cool. Cause I think sometimes with these cooking shows, like I, I love watching top chefs, but it's like these are all people who could cook things that I could never make. Because if you've been, you know, if you're sous chef, if you're a head chef for like, you know, 15 years, it's like, I'm not, I'm never going to be able to catch up to your skillset. You know what I mean?

And I felt like what I liked about this show is because the main thing is like being able to interpret a cookbook. It's like someone who's a home cook could interpret a cookbook better than someone who is a professional chef. So I felt like it really sort of leveled the playing field in that way. When you watch a professional, like I have a very long standing family friend named Julia. She used to come to Max Funcon every year and teach a cooking class. And like she had worked in, she worked at Chez Panisse in Berkeley and she worked as, she was Blake Edwards and Julie Andrews, personal chef for a while. Like she's

had every kind of cooking job. And like she can just cook anything. Like you just could be like, hey, could you make something? I've got these pheasants and these capers and some cumin and some day old sandwiches. Could you, and she will deliver something spectacular. It is a skill I can't even begin to imagine having. That's crazy. Do you have a list of most delicious things that you ate? I don't have a list of that.

And I'm someone who likes to keep lists. I think because shooting it was such a whirlwind where it's like, you know, it's long shooting days and you're like trying to get everything in and you gotta go to bed. And then I like almost like, I never mentioned this before, but like almost like got kidnapped.

Oh, great. Let's get into this. Let's discuss. So we shot to know more. Yeah. So we shot it in Connecticut, which is like, great. So sure. I and I was like, I don't drive. So I'll just need like, you know, an Uber or whatever to and fro, you know, the hotel and where we shoot. Sure, hit or yawn, to and fro.

Yeah. And so production- Went A to point B. Yeah, and so it was like a late night. And so they're like, oh, we're going to let like the PAs go home. I'm like, please, let the PAs get paid the lease. Let them go home and they can rest and whatever. And I think it was a day where we had to, we shot one episode and then had to start like the next episode that day. So it was a long day.

And so they're like, okay, we're just gonna like have this car service, like take you back to the hotel. And it's like, I don't know, 15, 20 minutes from set. So I was like, oh, that's cool. And so I am texting with a friend of mine, Jonathan, and going to the hotel. And I just had noticed, I was like,

this doesn't seem like the way to go to the hotel. Like it started out that way, then it was like kind of going sideways. And I was like, okay. You're like, we're in a hole. The driver seems to be getting out to unlock various gates. Why is that happening? So we're getting near the hotel. I was like, Oh, okay.

I guess he wanted a roundabout way. And then he like passes it. And I was like, Oh yeah. Sorry. You like just pass home. Tell us. So can we just like circle back and you can drop me off. And he was like, that's not where like the hotel is. And I was just like, let it is. Um, and he was, he was like, file, I'll circle around. And so then he doubled back and then he like missed it again. And I go, this feel, I was like, this is a little weird. I was like, the hotel is literally so close. And I'm like, you're missing it.

And so I pulled up my phone and I'm like, it's literally showing me we're like less than half a mile from it. And so he was like, let me see your phone. And I was like, oh boy. I was like, you don't need to see my phone. He's like, no, give me your phone. I was like, no, you don't need to do that.

And so then he like just kept driving and like looping around and I was like, this is making me uncomfortable. And I was like, there's a gas station here. Can you just like drop me off there and I'll just figure out how to like get home. And he was like, this is making me uncomfortable. And I was like, there's a gas station here. Can you just drop me off there and I'll just figure out how to get home? And he was like, no. And I was like- Oh my gosh.

What? Yeah. And he's just going, and the rowers keep on rowing. There's no knowing where they're going. So I'm texting my friend and I'm like, I really think this driver is up to no good. Phoebe, I'm so glad I know you survived this. Me too. And it was so nuts.

And it was like literally the night that I found out my show was like getting taken off a stream. He's on like, I'm losing royalties and this motherfucker is trying to get that me. And so I like started to panic and I was like- Rains of pores. Yeah. So I like truly like started, I was like, yeah.

So I truly started, he was like, you're not gonna pay me, you're trying to get out of paying me and I was like, I am not. I was like, you are driving around crazy in circles and I need you to pull into the nearest gas station and I need you to let me out of this fucking car right now. I feel so unsafe and so it was like a whole to do and then he finally did it and I was like a whole to do. And then he like finally did it. And I was like, I need you to unlock the doors.

I was like, unlock the doors. I was like, this is crazy. Let me out of this fucking car. And so then he eventually did and he like sped off and I just like call production. I was like, Hey, so I think like driver trying to kidnap me, I'm going to take an Uber back to my hotel. And they were like, horrified. And so from then on, they were like, we don't care how long we run, we'll make sure like a PA will drive you back to your hotel. But that was like, when I was telling a friend of mine that and they were like, it's so good. You didn't give him the phone because I do

think he was going to try and like, do something to you. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Isn't that wild? This is why this is why we don't give PAs breaks. I'm sorry. Work those little wieners. This is the story. It's really cool to hear the story of how there came to be a third dope queen. be a third dope queen. But it was such a wild thing. Cause I was like, this has just been the most fun shoot and everyone's great and everything's like perfect. And that asshole happened. And then like the rest of the shoot, like went back to being amazing. But I was just like,

that's just like a random thing that just happens in life where you're like, if you don't have your like, you know, like if I was just from Cleveland, I would have been like, okay, here, look at my phone and I could, you know, my dumb ass would have been kidnapped. Probably it would. Hey, I should give you the credit card. I used to check into the hotel. Maybe that would help in some way. There you go. There was a, um, when I was a teen, I took the city bus to high school. And we would go down

this big road and there was a woman who was always like power walking on this big road, right? I would like, I would see her probably three or four days a week. Like she must have had a very consistent schedule. And I'd see her as the bus approached my school. And she was maybe like 60. And she was like the kind of lady like I said, older, soft bodied, wearing a velour jumpsuit or velour tracksuit, I should say, you know, very sort of like Dionne Warwick wig. Power walking and she became my hero once I noticed that no matter where she was going, she was carrying one of those extensible batons. Oh, wow. That like someone uses in like a cop show to beat information out of someone, you know, extensible batons. Oh, wow.

Someone uses them like a cop show to beat information out of someone that goes like, you can flick it out dramatically. Wow. Yeah. And she would just have that in her hand as she was power walking. I was like, no one is kidnapping this woman. This woman will never be kidnapped.

You are not going to kidnap the old lady who has the baton in her hand. I think I might get one of those because I mean, and then I should also like train too so I don't get my own ass beat with it. But that sounds amazing. Yeah, it's such a great reveal. It's like so such a great weapon reveal the way those things flick out. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And but what's really central to this, and I want you to remember this Phoebe when you get your baton, is you can't just put this in a bandolier or have it in the inside pocket of your coat or something. It has to be out and ready to

go. Like that is this is not about winning a baton fight. This is about being the kind of person that carries around a baton and thus not needing to have any baton fights. Wow. It's swinging it constantly. Yeah, exactly. Phoebe, if you had a if you were lucky enough to have a friend as as wonderful as my friend, Jesse, my friends, Jesse and Teresa, who sent me a giant box of pork through the mail. What would your dream giant box be full of? What would be in that giant box, Phoebe?

That's a good one. So maybe pork, more of an occasional treat. Is it another kind of meat? Is it, you know, is it, you know, your supply of Mrs. Fields cookies? Do you have a, do you have a dream giant box? If he could, like a giant snack box. I'm a huge grazer, I love to snack. So if it could be like a mixture of salty and sweet, that would be amazing.

So you get like some chocolate, you get like some Bjorn corn, you know. What's Bjorn corn? Oh, it's so good. That's Bjorn Borg's corn. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Listen, you know, multiple revenue streams. Bjorn, he got it. Famous for his short shorts. We all gotta have side hustles Well, it's just like plain popcorn and they put like nutritional yeast on it And it tastes so good because listen, you know, you reach a certain age you have M40 now So all these kind of just you know fucking nacho cheese Doritos a bitch ain't having that in her house no more. Okay We gotta we gotta keep it nice. We gotta keep it tight I mean we can see Phoebe we can see your t-shirt that says Lordy Lordy. Thank God. I'm 40

We could see your half shirt that says dump them out What if a party breaks out, you know? But I think like that, like milk, chocolate covered graham crackers, like just, oh my God, it would be amazing. I'll tell you what, one of my colleagues on Bull's Eye, Mara Davis, our booker, colleagues on Bullseye, Mera Davis, our booker. You know, a booker is a person who is good at giving holiday gifts. Thoughtful gift baskets, specifically gift baskets. Like you gotta, if you're a booker, there's like all these publicists and celebrities that you got to remain friends with. It's like ad sales, like our old ad salesman used to send us just

the most spectacular Christmas food gift box every year just because, you know, sales guy. And Mara is like that and Mara sent me, she just sent me an email that said, keep your eyes out for a holiday gift from me, it is blue. So, you know, naturally I was wondering what it might be. It turned out to be the most enormous tin of popcorn that has ever existed in the world. And it is a troika. It is a Chicago style popcorn. Oh, yeah.

That's a good corn. Comes in a triple set with one silo full of buttery popcorn, one silo full of cheesy popcorn, one silo full of caramel popcorn. Oh my god. I am going to die of this popcorn. Like, this will be the cause of death, three types of popcorn. It will save you. Corned to death. Yeah. Oh my god, Garrett's popcorn, I am a sucker for three types of popcorn. It will sound- According to death. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh my God, Garrett's popcorn. I am a sucker for that brand of popcorn. Yeah, Garrett's is great. I can't buy it anymore because I can't, like I can't ration it out. It's like I just will eat it until like, yeah. But oh my God, that's the best popcorn.

That's what, I mean, thank God the last time I was at Costco, they didn't have those Voodoo chips again. And we addressed this on a past episode. But one time they had those Voodoo chips. I bought a Costco size box or bag of fucking Voodoo chips. And for some reason, no one else in my house tried them. So I just ate the whole thing. Just a giant Costco bag of Voodoo chips. And you know what? It was fucking tremendous. I'm glad no one else tried it. Fuck them. This is for dad. Dad gets something. There's something for dad, Jordan. We're not saying dad doesn't get anything. Why are you being defensive? Dad gets something, Jordan. Dad gets something. That's me. I'm Dad. I am him. Hey, listen. Dad, Dad's getting a little cranky.

So we want to take a break. Daddy can have some voodoo chips. And then we'll come back for a little bit more. Give me something. Someone get Dad something. Anything. We need to continue with the show. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jessica. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. I've got great news for the West Coast of the United States, Jordan. You're going to have a shot at your old pals, Jesse and Jordan. That's right. Come take a shot at us. Come punch us right in the kissers. We're both going to be at San Francisco SketchFest. Me with the Judge John Hodgman podcast, you with Free With Ads. That's right. I can tell you a date and a time if you'd like. Why not? I'm going to

do it. It's January 23rd, 7..m. punchline comedy club we're gonna be reviewing Twilight I've never seen it so you can hear my reactions to Twilight live on stage. So I think it's basically sort of like Dracula's versus Wolfman's. Yeah I know and I'm excited I can't wait to see these guys get their choppers into each other. Let me just say Jordan I can see that you're excited. Yeah Jesse I've got an erection I can see that you're excited. Yeah. Jesse, I've got an erection.

I can't wait. San Francisco Sketch Fest. Will I still have an erection? Yes! We're also doing Judge Sean Hodgman in Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, and Los Angeles. You can find all that information at maximumfun.org slash events, maximumfund.org slash events. I also want to thank everybody who so far has participated in our campaign for Alotro Lalo, which is,

if you missed us talking about it last week, is a nonprofit that does direct humanitarian work with migrants on both sides of the US-Mexico border. So that means refugees who need somebody to take them to the port of entry, folks who have been deported and dumped in south of the Mexican border may not even be Mexican, people who need help finding their family members after they have been separated from their family members on their way into or out of the United States. All kinds of legal advocacy as well as direct humanitarian aid. I mean, like simple things like, do you need some connections to get food? People who are in open air detention, which is a big, big thing that is happening right now, refugees being put in open air detention in the winter. So, Al Otro Lado

does incredible advocacy work on all those fronts. And if you go to alotrolado.org slash let's do something, you can join us in this campaign. And guess what? If you do it by the end of that Los Angeles, Judge John Hodgman, Jordan, Jesse Goh show, which is first week of February, I will match your donation dollar for dollar. We have vote. My wife and I had a family meeting. We dipped into our savings some.

We wanted to really do something that matters this year because of the state of the world and our fears for our friends and family who are migrants and neighbors. So up to 25 grand, we will match your donation dollar for dollar. So we hope that you will give us a real good soaking. You know, just just make us just make us

twist of the wind, make us suffer, because that's what we're shooting for. I would love to tell a lot of a lot of a look we get. We raised you 50,000 fucking dollars. That would be the best feeling in the world. So it's a lot of a lot of dot org slash. Let's do something. You can also find the link in the show notes here, but alotrolado.org slash let's do something. And I'm really grateful to have your help with this, folks. I think we're really doing something that matters. Let's get back to the show.

It's Jordan Jessi Goh. I'm Jesse Foran, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. And I'm Phoebe Robinson, Pedro Pascal's future baby mama. Oh, really? Pedro Pascal. I'm making, I'm going to make it happen. Listen, do I think he's into the ladies? Unclear. Still going to shoot my shot. He listens. So this is a great place to announce that.

This is a really good show for manifesting. We've been told. Give me a chance, Pedro. We are in a similar age Bracket we are not in a similar financial bracket, which is great for me because you know Yeah, I want to get his residuals This guy didn't get taken off streaming Y'all have a lot in common both good good and everything. So much in common. It's wild. Yeah.

No. I mean, he's working for the Roku channel, right? Pedro Pascal's big recipe show or whatever it's called? I think so. Probably. You both have cooking channels. Probably. It's him and...

How does it feel to be colleagues with Preston Plays? That's all I really know about Roku other than your program is that my Roku is constantly telling me to watch Preston plays. He's a guy that plays Minecraft for children. A horrible guy by the way. I've seen his show. It's the worst thing in history. No.

Oh, well, you know, he's trying his best, I hope. Maybe. We're all out there. We're all out there trying our best even Preston Pedro Pascal me Phoebe what moves do you think are on the horizon for you in terms of? Having a child with Pedro Pascal. What's on what's on the docket here? What are the steps you can take like Jordan of course is gotta get a son and he's been working on

you can take. Like Jordan, of course, has got to get a son and he's been working on it. I'm working on it. Are there any steps you've taken to get into the Pascal orbit and make a child with him? So, you know, I've been sort of laying low, but I think the first step... Plotting your next move. Yeah, you got to build up your strength, baby. Yeah. I think the first step is to get in with Sarah Paulson, cause that's one of his good friends. So I think you always got to get in with good with the friend,

either Sarah or Oscar Isaac. I think it would be easier with Sarah just cause you don't want some like random ass hoe coming up to your husband and being like, I want to be that. No, no, you don't want some more age. Yeah. Oh, can I curse? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I encourage it.

Fuck. Shit. I waited, you know, I waited too long to ask, but I just thought I, you know. Curse away. So that's step number one. Okay. Sarah Paulson. She's, I mean, talk about good and everything. Hard to beat Sarah Paulson in that department. Yeah.

Also listens to the show Yeah, I think that she would be delighted by me. We've become friends and then I'd be like next time you have a house party Just invite me right? Yeah, like with your buddies from drama school Yeah, yeah, just be like I'll bring like one of my besties come over to your house. It'd be like super chill Then I'll just like meet Pedro and then We'll talk I'll be super funny And then you know, I'll be like, oh, let's just take hang out sometime. Yeah, give him my number Oh, you having one of those hard sultres? How are those? Yeah. Yeah. Do you like that? Do you like that flavor?

What do you think of my shirt that says dump him out? Are you prepared to dump him out, Pedro? And then, you know, I would be like, okay, he really likes female pop stars. So then I'll be like, hey, some of my friends and I were going to go see Sabrina Carpenter. Want to come? This is fucking seamless. So good. Low pressure.

Yes. So then. Low pressure. Yes. So then he'll come up like, oh, we got a suite. You like won't be bothered. And then, you know, like, you got a luxury suite. Yeah. Unlimited free food. You think I'm gonna have Pedro down with civilians and section one?

No, not Pedro. Not Pedro. Maybe he wants floor seats. Maybe he wants. Look, I went to see Stevie Wonder and Craig Robinson was right there in the floor seats. I know, but here's the difference. Pedro is at an inflection point, you know. Glideator 2's out, people are all over him.

He can't be in section 107 at the forum. Like, that's just chaotic. The Great Western Forum. Yeah. The great western forum. Yeah. And then, you know, we're watching the concert and then she has like some fun songs you can sort of like grind up on. Right.

Well, you know, taking it back to the 90s with a little grinding. Sure. Would you do any, can I ask, would you do any bumping? Yes. Okay, great. Yeah. I wouldn't want you to be just grind and leave the bumping? Yes. Okay, great. Yeah. I wouldn't want you to be just grind and leave the bumping aside is all I'm saying. I'll be wearing a crop top with some like high-waisted jeans that are form

fitting. We're doing a little grinding and then I'm like, you know, do you like want to come back to I'm staying at the West Hollywood edition. Do you want to cause it's a Mary, it's a Marriott Bonvoy affiliate, so I want to get those points. You're getting Bonvoy points. Bonvoy to you, Phoebe. Bonvoy. A good Bonvoy. Bonvoy.

I should just say I'm a Hilton guy. I'm a Hilton guy, gold member, not a big deal. Oh, you're gold. Yeah, I'm gold. Wow, that's pretty good. I know, it's pretty good. Can I add a little wrinkle here? OK.

Maybe when you're in the luxury suite, Pedro Pascal is knocking back an imported beer or maybe even just a standard water. And he says, gosh, I could really go for some water that has strawberries floating in it right now. And you could say Bon Voy to you, sir. Come back to my hotel. There's a giraffe in the lobby.

There's a jug for you, Pedro. It's waiting for you there. You know, Bon Voy means hello and goodbye. So that would be my plan. Beautiful Marriott language. I think that's a good solid plan. And it's the long game. You know, I'm expecting this to be like a three to six month

sort of just planting the seeds, just being around. I'll tell you what my plan is. planting the seeds, just being around, you know. I'll tell you what my plan is. I'm also working on having a child with Pedro Pascal. And my plan is, first of all, we're going to see Dua Lipa. We've got floor seats. I dump him out. He can't resist it.

All of a sudden, he's's in me and I'm pregnant. What's M in this situation? What do you dump it out? That's for Pedro to know and you to find out. I didn't mean to pry. Wow, you're going to splurge for floor seats. Yep. We're getting floor seats. We want to be right up there getting sprinkled with Dua Lipa's sweat. That's what we want.

Well, she gets down. That's a good plan. I like that plan. My tennis teacher, Jordan, Bobby Figgs. Robert, I've talked about Bobby Figgs before on this show, right? I don't know. Maybe this is my first time hearing about Bobby Figgs.

This is a guy I met in the park. Yep. When my bike had a problem in the park and I didn't want to carry my bike home. So I just looked around and I just saw this funny man and said, hey, can I leave my bike with you? And it turns out he teaches tennis in the park. He's like a guy from the neighborhood. It's not like a Bjorn Borg type guy. Sure. This is a guy that used to work at Rite Aid and is now retired from Rite Aid. He was a buyer at Rite Aid, Bobby Figgs. Bobby Figgs is constantly telling me amazing

things. Mostly about like, places he went with a rich guy he met. Like, he isn't by no means a rich guy, but I think just like when you're like good at tennis, just rich guys are constantly inviting you places. And so he'll just tell me like he told me this whole story about going to the US Open. And this rich guy he know knew told him to get as many hats as he wanted. He's like, get as many hats, it's going on the company card. Just hats. I don't buy anything else. But the other day he just, I get there, you know, we're just about to start hitting tennis balls and he goes, he goes, Hey, Jesse.

And I'm like, Yeah, Robert. And he goes, What about this duo lipo? What's she? Armenian or something? I don't know. Why would I be the guy you asked that Robert? I don't. What duo lipo? What is she? Okay, when something momentous happens to you, like you finally become pregnant by Pedro Pascal, we ask you to call us at 206-984-4FUN or send us a voice memo at jjgo at maximumfun.org

to share your momentous occasion with us as this person has done. Hi Jordan, Jesse, Goh, Steven. I have a momentous occasion. I just found out that today I'm on a work trip tuning pipe organs that I was in the same building with the skull of a saint St. Thomas Aquinas's skull was getting torn around and It was in Providence, Rhode Island Wish I could have touched it or something. I don't know how that works. All right. Love you guys. Bye. Bye And wish I could have touched it or something. I don't know how that works.

All right. Love you guys. Bye-bye. First of all, love you too. Second of all, this is the one of the richest momentous occasion texts that we've ever had to explicate on this program. Sure. Let's start with I'm on a work trip tuning pipe organs.

Tuning pipe organs. I love this. This is wonderful news. Yeah, I bet if you're if you know how to tune a pipe organ, people just have to fly you around because like, you know, the pipe organs, you know, they've been hotter. Yeah, they're, you know, so if you've got one, you know, there's not much a bunch of tuners. Like if being the guy who fixes pinball

machines or something, right? Like you have everybody by the fucking nuts. Like if they need you, they have to fly you out, business class, because there's not just somebody in the yellow pages who's gonna do it. You can't just send home the PAs. You gotta work them. You gotta work them for that pipe organ guy.

One time, Hodgeman and I played a show at the Castro Theater in San Francisco, a legendary sort of movie palace theater. And there's sort of no real backstage there. Like a lot of theaters that used to be movie theaters, one of the big issues is that there's just like a weird sad cement area that's like six by six in the backstage so whoever needs to be backstage is all just sitting on top of each other in folding chairs and the folks from SF SketchFest had asked us do you want us to run the do you want us to have the pipe organ guy come and there's a pipe organ that comes up out of the ground at the Castro Theater.

And it's like the movie theater that I went to as a kid. So I'm like, yes, please. He closes every set before the movie starts by disappearing into the ground while he plays California, Here I Come. You know, California, here I come. And right back where I started from. Indeed. And I mean, this guy's probably been on the road tuning pipe organs. Sure. Yeah. It's a story of a pipe organ tuner. But this man came to the show to play the pipe organ. All John Hodgman and I wanted in the world was to be friends with the Pipe Morgan guy. Like we just desperately wanted to be friends with this guy. This guy fucking stone cold aced us out.

Like he like boxed us out like we were at a party and we were hitting on his girlfriend. Like, he basically just, like, looked over his shoulder at us contemptuously, went on stage, like, came back, put his little pieces of paper back in his little briefcase, looked at us contemptuously again, and left. All I wanted was to be friends with that pipe organ man. And yet, and yet. Yeah. Did you ever try and reach out to him again?

Or find out where he was off to next? See if he wants to go with you to see Chapel Road. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like it was really like, you know, when we went on this most recent tour, Hodgman and I, we have a friend who is the organist at Fenway Park and he

played a couple of dates with us. He's just like, I'll come, I'll bring an electric piano, I'll play whatever you like, I'll play the litigants on and off stage. That, like a person who can make any recipe, he can play any song on the organ. It doesn't matter what song it is, he can play it on his little organ. What a dream that is. What an incredible situation. Anyway, the point here is that this call also included Thomas Aquinas's skull being in, where was it? Newport, Rhode Island?

I think so, yeah. Do you think if you're like touring a famous skull, like if you're taking the skull around. Do you think the skull's headlining or you think it's opening? Yeah. Maybe Guar is the headliner. Yeah. Do you think you have to just say, and hey,

you can take a picture, but don't make it look like the skull's sucking your dick. You definitely, there's definitely a man who put, who made, who tried to do that. So now that has to be a disclaimer. I think so too. Yeah, 100%. They don't have to say it, but it's only because they got one of those like trade show banners, the kind that like comes up out of a tube and then you hook it onto a hook.

Yeah, sure. You know what I'm talking about? You may take photos, but please don't make it look like the skull is sucking your dick. Yeah. Sir Thomas Aquinas. I mean, when he said it was the skull of a saint, that's got to be like a top 10 fucking saint. That's a big saint right there. You know, I don't know about many saints. I mean, I know the many saints of Newark, of course. Sure. Don't we all?

I know all of them. Tony Soprano's uncle, I guess. That's your sacred text. Sure. Yes. A good Gaba ghoul to you all, I say. So say we all. I guess I don't know many saints. I don't know what Thomas Aquinas' thing was.

I guess I'm inclined to think that he like maybe raised horses or something but... That's Thomas Equinus. Oh okay. And also Jordan he fucked horses. Oh okay okay. Let's have one more momentous occasion. Hey Jordan, Jesse, and esteemed guests. I had a momentous occasion. We got some satsumas here in Georgia and I turned the bag over when I got home and I saw the satsumas there and it said that the brand of the satsumas was Southern Sassies. These are Southern Sassies. So don't worry we got the satsumas here in Georgia. We got the Southern Sassies going. You guys stay easy peel, non-GMO, and virtually seedless. See ya.

And do you think they got sued by somebody that found a seed in their Satsuma? What's a Satsuma? Satsuma is a delicious citrus fruit. It's like a clementine, but it has a loose baggy skin and it packs a flavor wallop, Phoebe. Oh, okay. Incredible, incredible fruit. One of the best fruits in the world. Can I put that in my gift box that I want for a year?

You can. This fictional gift box? Yes, you may. Great. Do you have a favorite seasonal fruit, Phoebe? Oh gosh. I feel like I can always eat something citrusy, so like an orange or a clementine. I can always eat that. A grape. Ever have like a night like, especially if it's like.

Like fresh out the fridge, you just like wash it so it's like cold. Yeah, nice cold. Yeah, I am with you. Yeah, yeah. Colder the better. Yeah, that's you know, like like room temp grapes on my get that garbage out of my fucking face. I see a cold grapes Yeah, you ever had one of these leach II grapes that tastes like a leach II I think I might have like once or twice and it's like, you know, it's next level you're like, all right I see it really does taste like a leach II I don't know how they put leach II flavor into a grape, but it's incredible. A syringe? I don't know.

Big grapes out there. Probably a syringe. I couldn't tell you for sure. Jesse, we were wondering what you were saying when you were talking about dumping them out for Pedro Pascall. Were you talking about your Southern sassies? Yeah, I was talking about my Southern sassies. I'm never afraid to dump out my Southern sassies. You think just because I'm a coastal elitist, I can't dump out my Southern sassies? I didn't say that. Pedro, you have a lot of options here. You have me, you have Jesse.

Dua Lipa. Dua Lipa. Yeah. Can't go wrong. Or your craft, you know. You can just get married to your craft and continue delighting us all with your wonderful acting and being surprisingly funny when you do comedy. Yeah. Let's take a break. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan.

Jesse, go. Hey, Sydney, you're a physician and the co-host of Sawbones, a marital tour of misguided medicine, right? That's true, Justin. Is it true that our medical history podcast is just as good as a visit to your primary care physician? No, Justin, that is absolutely not true. However, our podcast is funny and interesting

and a great way to learn about the medical misdeeds of the past, as well as some current, not so legit healthcare care fads. So you're saying that by listening to our podcast, people will feel better. Sure. And isn't that the same reason that you go to the doctor? Well, you could say that.

And our podcast is free. Yes, it is free. You heard it here first folks, Sawbones, Merrell Tour of Misguided Medicine right here on Maximum Fun, just as good as going to the doctor. No, no, no, still not just as good as going to the doctor, but pretty good. It's up there.

Hi, I'm Alexis. And I'm Ella. And we're the hosts of Comfort Creatures. We could spend the next 28 seconds telling you why you should listen, but instead, here's what our listeners have said about our show, because really, they do know best. The show is filled with stories and poems and science

and friendship and laughter and tears sometimes, but tears are from your heart being so filled up with love. A cozy show about enthusiasm for animals of all kinds, real and unreal. If you greet the dog before the person walking them, or wander around the party looking for the host's cat, this podcast is for you. So come for the comfort, and stay for Alexis' wild story about waking up to her cat giving birth on top of her. So if that sounds like your cup of tea, or coffee, although we're not all Brits, then

join us every Thursday at MaximumFun.org. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Formore in America's Radio Sweetheart, Jordan Morse, Boy Detective. And I'm Phoebe Robinson, Paige O'Pascall's future baby mama. Phoebe, what a joy it was to get to see you. What a joy it was to watch your television program on the Roku Channel, which besides going to for all my Phoebe Robinson needs, I also go to watch all of the shows from Quibi. Quibi, at some point Roku just bought Quibi's shows and just put them there. If you want to watch Matt Rogers' gay game show,

watch it on the Roku channel and then watch Phoebe's cookbook challenge. It's a great time. Thank you so much. I will say this, Jordan. My daughter, Grace, is getting a cookbook for Christmas. Hey, okay. A future contestant on the cookbook challenge, perhaps.

Yeah, I'm going to need to see cookbook challenge Phoebe in the future featuring the cookbooks of legendary horror actor Vincent Price, because he has a whole bunch of cookbooks. Vincent Price was famous was like three different things, right? Well, I'm going to say four different things. One, fucking whoever he pleased. That's number one. He's married for decades, just fucking whomever, right? Just a true ethical slut lifestyle for Vincent Price. Number two, being amazing in everything. Just it doesn't matter what movie Vincent Price is in, he's doing a weird Vincent Price thing and all you want to do is watch it.

Sort of like Peter Laurie or something. You just have to watch it. It's amazing. Number three, legendary art collector. He has his own museum here in Los Angeles from his art collection. Yeah. He got Dennis Hopper into collecting art among other things. Just happened to hear that on Fresh Air the other day. But number four, legendary cookbook author. He and his wife

collected recipes and published cookbooks. They published like 12 cookbooks or something. Like Vincent Price and his wife were the Julia Child of horror movie actors. Are the recipes spooky? No. It looks like... So the one that I bought... It's like Heath Wellington. The one that I bought truly looks like... Do you remember the public television show, The Frugal Gourmet?

I do. Yeah. No. I believe The Frugal Gourmet at some point sexually harassed one of his employees or something. So I apologize. I believe he's canceled. I don some point sexually harassed one of his employees or something. So I apologize. I believe he's canceled. I don't know.

Maybe he's dead. But if you remember the aesthetic of the kitchen... So God cancels you. Yeah. Indeed. If you remember the aesthetic, and then you never get residuals again. If you remember the aesthetic... What is death but the end of residuals.

If you remember the kitchen from the Frugal Gourmet, like a sort of like 1988 New England homey kitchen where he's like wearing a striped blue and white striped apron kind of thing, that is the aesthetic of the Vincent Price cookbooks, only it's Vincent Price. You're like, there is legendary weird looker and talker, Vincent Price, just in his kitchen like, you know, arms outstretched with a rolling pin or whatever. Amazing stuff. The balls to make it not spooky. I mean, wild. I mean, this guy had extraordinary balls. I mean, that's why they would always say, you know, they'd always find a moment in one

of his films to ask him to dump them out. Sure. You know, the Pith and the Pendulum or whatever. Yeah. Sure. The short film version of Thriller. Yeah. Balls on Haunted Hill.

In the original version of Thriller, the full length version of Thriller, Vincent Price dumps them out at the end. Phoebe, it's been a joy to have you on the program. Thank you very much for making the time. It's always very nice to see you. We wish you nothing but the greatest success with your delightful cookbook television program. It's a lot of fun. Thank you. Thank you. I hope that Clash of the Cookbooks get another season because it was so fun. And I would risk almost being kidnapped again to shoot it. That's how much fun I had. Wow. Out there in Darien, Connecticut or whatever.

Sure. You would get yourself into a taken situation. Jesse, would you mind if I slipped in a little plug before we go? Please do. Hey, if you're out there and you got a local comic book store that you love, head down there on March 5th. There's going to be a new Marvel Comics anthology hitting the shelves. This is called Web of Spider-Verse, New Blood.

It is three spectacular stories about Spider-Man adventuring throughout the multiverse. One of those stories is written by me and illustrated by the great Sumit Kumar. Yeah, it's my first Marvel Comics thing, and it's going to be out on March 5th. So yeah, have him add that to your poll list, or you can also get it digitally, read it on the app.

But man, it would sure be cool if you went to your local comic book store and told them you want web of spider verse new blood. Can I ask you a question, Jordan? First of all, congratulations is incredible news. Thank you. We love to hear we love to hear about the successes of Jordan Morris with re Spider-Man. Are you a coward? Or Wow.

Howard or did you address in your spider-man story the fact that spider-man is a jizz hero Jesse no spoilers. I'm sorry. Okay. Okay. I understand I need we need people to pick up pick up web of spider verse new blood. And if I go around talking about whether or not Spider-Man is a Jizz hero, people aren't gonna, they're like, well, I've already had it spoiled for me. I'm not gonna pick it up. Phoebe, it makes the sound thwip, thwip, thwip. It's not what Jizz sounds like. It doesn't sound like anything.

That is what Jizz sounds like. Ask Pedro Pascal. All right, I will. Thwip, thwip, thwip. Going to see Solange next week. Getting hardy, huh? Hell yeah, sure. And hey, if you want to support this campaign we're running for Al Otro Lalo, you can go to alotrolalo.org slash let's do something.

We're recording this before Christmas. As we record this, we haven't even, Jordan had episodes come out. We are coming up on $10,000 already. Hey, okay. Way to go everybody. Pretty fucking cool. So thank you, listeners. Teresa and I are matching every dollar up to 25K.

And please do something to support migrants at our southern border. They need your help. So go to alotrolado.org slash let's do something. Phoebe, it's been a delight. Thank you very much. Our producer, Stephen Ray Morris. Our theme music is Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. Our thanks to them. You can find us on social media at

rslashmaximumfun at Jordan Jesse Go Pod on Instagram, where we just posted the first episode of our new internet television show, The Try Hard Guys. We tried a famous sandwich. Sure. If you want to see me and Jesse eat and then rank what we ate on a scale of one to ten guys, this is the show for you. And then call you a nasty freak for loving our noms. You love the noms. You nasty freaks.

You're all nasty and we know it, but we don't care. We're not going to reveal what the sandwich got but Let's just say it does it did already. It got it got a couple of guys. You got a couple guys Okay, we'll talk to you next time on Jordan. Yes, he go I do love you.