Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 107: Shark Week

Episode Date: August 10, 2009

Comedians Chad Fogland and Ron Babcock join Jordan to discuss marine life, secret dreams, and more.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys, and take off your shoes and sex and run you. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. And I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. And this is... Jordan, Jesse, Go! Icicles, tricycles, ice cream, candy, lollipops, popsicles, licorice sticks, Salmon, friendly, maggoty, lanky, twiddle, dum, twiddle, de Go, Jesse's on vacation and I am joined by stand-up comedians Chad Fogland and Ron Babcock.

We discuss stingrays, movies, and movies featuring boobs. Let's go. Hello and welcome to Jordan, Jesse Go. I am Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jesse Thorne is out on vacation. He is somewhere in Mexico, the Great White South, I think they call it. With me in his stead is, returning to the microphone, returning to the Jordan, Jesse, Go Studios for a second go-round is Los Angeles stand-up sketch improv powerhouse Chad Fogeland. Chad Fogeland, welcome back to the show. Hello, hello.

Yes, I am Jordan's Chad Fogeland. You are. Do you remember your nickname from last time? You had a nickname. I did one every time, I think. That was the thing. You had a new nickname every break. Like, I'm the next-door neighbor, Chad Fogland.

Do you remember having a favorite of those that you want to reprise? Little Bunny Shoes. Little Bunny Shoes it is. And as if that was not enough, we have with us someone we've always wanted to have on the show.

And we finally got him in here. We were able to pry him away from his many pressing, important, and yes, sexy engagements. Another Los Angeles-based stand-up improv sketch powerhouse, Mr. Ron Babcock. Ron Babcock, welcome to the Jordan Jesse Go Studios. Hey! Thanks for having me, Jordan. And hey, way to go.

Just, I want to say, bold choice, starting out kind of gay. What? Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, that wasn't my intention. Well, I think by saying... I guess that's my default. Well, you know, I've done this podcast before, and I'm going to tell you right now, the more you go gay as the podcast progresses, the better it is.

Oh, well. But here's the thing. Here's the catch. Here's what you don't want to do. You don't want to go too gay up top. I could – let's take it – I'll man it up this time. Do you want to start from the beginning? Yeah, give me a quick intro and then I'll man it up. And finally, in addition to Chad Fogland, we have here in the Jordan Jesse Go Studios, Los Angeles-based stand-up sketch improv powerhouse, Mr. Ron Babcock. Ron Babcock, welcome to the studios.

Hey, what's up? Nice. Good? I like it. Now you have nowhere to go but gay. Yeah, see, you're good. That's good. I have to hold my breath when I do that, though, so it kind of hurts. Yeah, and far be it from me to leave out Mr. John Kim, Jesse's faithful intern, is running the board for me because I don't really know how to do anything.

I couldn't even let myself into the building. John did that for me, too. So after all these episodes, you still don't know the basics of like Turning on the machines? Oh god no Really? Oh yeah absolutely Are you bad with technical stuff? Yes I'm very bad with technical stuff

And I think I've broached this subject before on the show I am You know I'm probably what some might consider You know a dork or a nerd And I have some dorky and nerdy tendencies I like to call you a derd. A derd, sure. I'm something of a derd,

but none of these dorky or nerdy tendencies are helpful or useful to anyone. I mean, I guess maybe if you were, you know, having trouble with the, you know, Street Fighter video game story timeline, I could help you with that. Yeah. I could let you know the events that transpired

between Street Fighter Alpha and Street Fighter 2. I could fill in those blanks for you. Maybe you're just genre-specific. No, so you're useless. Yeah, I think that's probably closer. But for this... Chad, thank you for being nice, but yes, I think it's actually...

I cannot fix your computer. I need people to fix my computer for me. If you said you were the type of nerd who's like, yeah, I could fix iPhones, everybody would, you know, be on top of you right now. They'd love you. Yeah, but I think people mainly just leave me alone, and that's kind of where I want to be. And yes, so John the Intern is here kindly donating his evening to help us out making this podcast. And can I say something? He is a huge nerd.

Yeah. This guy, we're talking pocket protector. Yeah. I mean, he's got tape on his glasses. Oh, that's right. He's wearing glasses. Yeah, glasses. Glasses.

You know Poindexter? I'm going to just paint the audience a little mental picture. Do you remember Poindexter from Revenge of the Nerds? Oh, yes. Of course. He looks like that, but like Poindexter was Revenge of the Nerds? Oh, yes. Of course. He looks like that, but like Poindexter was dressed in the talent show

when he was playing the electric violin. But wearing boogers. Yes. He has Poindexter's glasses and spiked mohawk hair, but he's wearing boogers clothes. So the man is...

Yeah, the man... I don't want to say unfuckable because that's me no but uh he's sitting right there he can hear everything you're saying it's fine no no he doesn't have a microphone he consciously went out of the house right now he's crying he consciously went out of the house dressed like a hybrid between poindexter and booger and no we are kidding actually john is maybe maybe the best dressed one in the room probably he's wearing some handsome uh this is kind of more jesse's thing but he's wearing some handsome yachting shoes yeah no socks he's wearing a hip animal collective t-shirt and he's wearing a

button-up shirt but it's over the tea yeah it's over the tea kind of classing it up so you look like you could be one of the buddies on like a mid-90s sitcom that would follow friends yeah and your name would probably be something hip like uh toe jam or something where they're like yo toe jam i was gonna say chet or buzz no well i yeah i guess the glasses are still throwing me no the glasses are weird the glasses are weird um we kid John the Intern. Also something I think the audience should know. It's kind of a tradition when Jesse is out.

We cracked a couple of brews. We've all got some brews. Ladies. John the Intern, yes, ladies. If for some reason you're listening to this podcast and have a time machine. Come on back. Yeah, come on back. Come on up to the old Jesse Thorn.

You want to drink some Modelo Especial? Oh, wait, wait, wait. Oh, I thought I heard a time. Time knock. Time knock. Yeah. No, I guess if that was going to happen, it would have happened two seconds ago. Yeah.

So I guess our time traveling party babes. Way to go,eryl janice liz oh i guess i guess my uh they're probably somewhere having a having a cask of of wine with genghis khan yeah oh did he drink he wouldn't have drank out of a cask he would have drank out of like a sheepskin bag. Would it have mattered if three women just showed up randomly in front of him? Yeah. Liberated, shaved women from the future.

My favorite Genghis Khan is the Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure Genghis Khan. I think that's the definitive Genghis Khan for sure. Actually, that's probably the only Genghis Khan really. Yeah. Also, the definitive Joan of Arc too. Oh, you know what? I'm going to have to amend that myself. I was going to say, fellas, I think, being men of our age,

we probably all had a little bit of a crush on the Joan of Arc from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Well, she's... It's the bassist from Go-Go's, isn't it? I don't... Jane, why... That's a good question. I think it is. John, would you be a deer and IMDB this for us? John's like, I'm on it!

I was already doing that. I'm doodling! I'm doodling! Anyways, but I'm remiss to call her the ultimate Joan of Arc because Mila Jovovich has played Joan of Arc as well. And that's, she's, I'm not. Yeah, see, I was right. Really? The bass is from the Go-Go's?

Yeah. Is that her? Jane. Huh. I'm waiting for a confirmation on this. What? You know, hey, guys, come on. Okay.

Anyways. Yeah, yeah, and I am not one to have a celebrity crush. No. But I definitely carry a little torch for Miss Mila Jovovich. I just watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and she is just adorable. Oh, you're thinking of Mila Kunis.

I am. Who is... Yes. See, look. Wait, who's... Rhythm, oh, Rhythm Guitarist. I'm sorry, I didn't know Mila Kunis played Joan of Arc.

No, yeah, that's... I can of Arc. No, that's odd. No, that's odd casting. Mila Kunis, of course. She can do anything. Yeah, right. Yeah, I'm even thinking of seeing this poorly reviewed horror vacation movie starring Mila Jovovich and Steve Zahn. Oh, yeah, that's going to be horrible. Yeah.

I'm so bad with actors and actresses' names. Like, I really try and be good at it, but I always – you know, what did I screw up? You know when everybody was doing Mickey in The Wrestler? Mickey Rourke? Yeah. You know who I kept getting confused with? Mickey Mouse. No, I kept getting confused with Mickey Rooney.

Oh, yeah. Sure. I was like, Mickey Rourke looks horrible. I'm like, what? He's – I thought he died. At least he's not doing a racist Asian character this time around. You got to give him that. I finally Googled it.

I was like, oh. That's Mickey Rourke. And I'm like, I'm an idiot. And this went on for like two weeks. You're like, the man is 110. Give him a break. I'm like, come on. He doesn't look that bad.

I kept on defending him in social situations. I have a similar story. Yes. Based off, I mean, not like, this is my mother. God rest her alive, living. She, we saw the movie Over the Top.

Remember that movie with Sylvester Stallone? Yeah, but was that the arm wrestling one? Yeah, I've never seen it, but I... Yeah. I feel like a truck, you know? I feel like a machine, you know? Pretty good. Yeah, well, that's one of my few things.

Anyway, at the end of the movie, he's in a big arm wrestling match. I'm sure if you've seen it, you've memorized this. And his son is screaming, Over the top, Dad, over the top, to cheer him on. Now, we saw this in the theaters. My family did. My mom didn't say anything. We went home and blah, about three years later we're on vacation in texas and it's on like tbs or something on the tv and we watched the whole movie again on this vacation

and they end the movie this time my mom goes now there's what the one thing i don't get is why at the end is he screaming i'm adopted i no, no. He's screaming over the top to it. Oh, that makes the movie make so much more sense. But for three years, she literally like, she didn't ask after we saw it in the theater. It's just like, hmm. She just thought maybe like David Lynch had directed that movie. And it was just a kind of a weird fever dream kind of sequence. He was arm wrestling so hard that he started

just thinking of nonsense. I think I did ask her and her logic was, well, I guess that if his son was adopted, that means he didn't have to take care of him, so he'd give him more strength

to win the arm wrestling match. Dad, just remember, when you get out of this arm wrestling pickle, I'm fine. You have no legal responsibility for me. If you win the money, the truck is yours, and nothing has to go to me.

Was he competing for a truck? Yeah. For a truck. Oh, wow. The whole thing is he's like, I just really need the truck, you know? And he was like. He's not in it for the money. The best is when the kid gets an arm wrestling match in a diner somewhere.

Some punk takes him, and he loses, but then he has a rem rematch and he turns his hat backwards just like his dad yeah oh wow come on like you know that's good we'll meet somebody halfway actually i know that the uh david mendenhall i met him first year i've moved out uh does he director of he was the child oh the child okay we're dropping names no i'm I'm just saying. Yeah, apparently. I'll drop some names. I'll drop David Mendenhall. Oh, wow. What do you got, Babcock? I don't know.

Have you guys ever heard of Brendan Fraser? Wow. No, actually. You mean Mr. Blast from the past. I met him on one of my first jobs was a PA in a movie set, and it was really early in the morning, and I was walking out the um breakfast order of the makeup crew and as i was walking out he was walking that's pretty low on the pa totem pole there babcock i've i've i've uh i was i had no idea i think they just did it because i didn't know any better so they were like oh yeah you

get our breakfast i was like okay so i'm walking out and brandon's now you wash our cars too okay and you give us some money out of your wallet i just want to help yeah and he's walking in and he's like hey what's your name and i'm like uh my name is ron it's like cool my name's brendan it's like seven in the morning i was like do you want to play trucks i'm like do you need anything he's like no man but i'll see you around i was like all right i get everything i need and that means coke i just got it in the bathroom and like encino man ruled i don't love that movie uh man uh okay so speaking of speaking of uh you know uh names uh similar sounding words uh attractive attractive uh leading ladies this is this is a conversation that we started in the elevator uh from the from

the liquor store where we got our brew dogs up to the podcast. Is that giving too much away now? The audience might be able to find Jesse's apartment knowing that it's an elevator. It's near a liquor store. Oh, okay. Here's what they know. Liquor store and elevator. And it's the address that is on the website.

Take those three clues. And you can find us time traveling ladies. Yes. Take those three clues. And you can find us time-traveling ladies. Yes, if we haven't been clear enough, time-traveling party gals. And we started this conversation, and here's a little podcast lingo. I'll let you guys in. This is kind of a behind-the-scenes. This is a Larry Sanders sports night kind of thing I'm letting you guys in on. I said, you know what?

Guys, save it for the podcast. Here's the discussion at hand. Amy Smart or Amy Adams? Gentlemen, weigh in. It's a hard one to do. Two lovely leading ladies, maybe. Although I would say that Amy Adams, as of late, has been getting quite popular.

When I saw her in Outside Providence and Road Trip, it was just like, oh, hello. What's Outside Providence? This is not a movie I'm familiar with. Really? Yeah. Outside Providence is an awesome movie about a kid who goes to a prep school in Providence, Rhode Island.

I actually heard that the way that it was made was the director was going on a bus, and he went through like a dollar bargain basement bin of books, and he pulled out the book outside Providence, started reading it on the bus, and when he got off the bus, he's like, I want to make this into a movie. Wow. This was a director taking a cross-country bus trip.

Alec Baldwin's in it. Oh, wow. Okay. It's actually a really great book. It is really good. It's actually Ryan McKee's, one of his favorite films. Oh, Ryan McKee, a former podcast guest from Super Back in the Day. really great it's actually uh ryan mckee's uh one of his favorite films oh ryan mckee uh former former former podcast guests from from super back in the day um uh anyways one of his favorite films

she's uh gorgeous in it but i have to say if i was gonna go today amy smart like amy uh smart i've done crank amy smart versus uh she's been in a film called Crank, and then Crank 2 High Voltage. She was also in Butterfly Effect. Oh, okay. I'm going to go on the Amy Adams side of the camera. But this is based solely on that you maybe don't approve of Amy Smart's career choices. But I think career choices affect...

Okay. No, no, no. You're not a shallow man, Ron Babcock. You're thinking, of course, of you guys as future children. If she's going to be making all these shitty movies, who's going to provide for the kids? Let's say you get married. You have kids. At some point, that child's going to come up to you and go like, So I watched Crank 2, Dad.

And plus you're going to have to take that child to a doctor because of the horrible voice that they have. It has to be looked at. Well, it's because while she was pregnant with the child, Jason Statham kicked her in the head. So the child came out a little off. Jason Statham, of course, has been known to roundhouse kick all of his lead actresses. Yeah, that's what he does. That's why we love him. Yeah.

That's why we love him. I've seen it. what he does it's uh that's why we love him yeah that's why we love it i've seen it was the most the most ridiculous part i think it was in transporter 2 of like any movie i have ever seen in my life was the scene where he had a bomb on the bottom of his car so he drove the car and it was down on the pier he drove it off a ramp but the ramp was kind of curved so as the car went through the air it started to turn and so the car turned upside down but he timed it so that there was a crane that just happened to be there and when it caught the bomb caught the bomb and then the car it actually kept turning all the way around and then it landed perfectly and then the bomb blew up on the crank and i remember like sitting in the

theater and just being like fuck you like. Come on. It was so ridiculous. You did realize you were watching a transporter film, right? Even that, I was like, really? Like, really? Well, also, Ron has a lot of money in cranes around cities. It's my family business. Yeah. You guys know my dad started it.

Ron Babcock of the crane Babcocks. Yeah. Chad Foglin, Amy Smart or Amy Adams? What's your... I have to say, yeah, kind of on the same road here with Ron as back when Amy Smart came on the scene, I was a huge crush on her. Sure.

And then she also made a... What's that movie that she made with... Oh, God. It was... I don't know. You just made a bunch of noises... I don't know. You just made a bunch of noises. I don't know. I pointed to you when you remember it for me.

I made a nonsense noise and pointed. What did you do there? Nope. Nothing. Still nonsense. Well, not Dane Cook, but the other guy who kind of looks like Dane Cook. Oh, Ryan Reynolds. Yeah, and he was fat.

Oh, my best friends? Yeah, best... No, not the sweetest thing. It's Just Friends. Just Friends. Just Friends. And Friends. Just Friends. And I remember it was like that film. I remember watching that at my parents' house during Christmas and thinking,

yeah, okay, I'm kind of over her now. Okay. I like, though, if she time-traveled right here, right now, we would all stab each other just to be the one with her. Just do it, yes. Just to breathe her air. You know who would win? John.

John, yeah. Yeah, look at that steely gaze and he's got his uh and he's got his electric violin with him so uh that's gonna impress her um uh here's here's here's my here's my two cents to add to this yes uh yes amy. Very, very good-looking lady. Amy Smart definitely puts herself in a lot of roles to where the male gaze could conceivably sexualize her. Of course, the crank films we're talking about. Did you say the male gaze or gaze? The gaze.

G-A-Z-E. This is an academic gaze. This is not a bunch of gay men. I was like, I'm confused. Yes, the academic gaze. This is not a bunch of gay men. I was like, I'm confused. Yes, the academic gaze. And it makes her an object, and I say that knowing that it makes me sound very shallow. Amy Adams makes very classy career choices and puts herself in movies where she plays things like uh nuns and fairy princesses and uh single moms just trying to make it uh i don't i would like to see i don't i don't necessarily want to see her in a pair of short shorts but uh in a film

uh uh you know i don't necessarily want to see her you know her in some sort of frat party situation where she's in danger. But I'm just saying I'd like to see her in a few more non-nun roles. I did feel a little bit guilty with my enchanted boner that I had during the children's film. You watched the children's movie Enchanted and felt – And the boner I had during that film, I did feel creepy. As well you should. Yes. You should feel bad about mentioning it, too.

I'm being honest. By the sounds of the story we heard in the elevator before we got here, you had to use that boner after that film. Yeah, well, there was some trolls and I had to smite them. With your wiener. Are you saying you raped trolls? No, I'm saying I smited them. It's a very different thing.

Okay. Sounds like. See, smite, to me, sounds like the fire was involved. That just. Ugh, guys. I don't even want to get into it, but it's a long. Did you light your dick on fire? I frequently do.

And defend Middle Earth. You have a lot to thank me for. Gentlemen, this has been fantastic. I think there is much more delightfulness to come. I am Jordan Morris. Actually, you know what? We didn't give John the Intern a chance to weigh in. We've been too busy

teasing him and comparing him. Who would you like to bang more? Amy Adams or Amy Smart? Thanks, Newsy. No worries. John, do you have a preference? Amy Smart or Amy Adams? Adams. Yeah, it sounds have a preference, Amy Smart or Amy Adams? Adams. Adams.

Yeah, it sounds like a clean sweep for Adams. I'm actually going Adams, too, but I'm saying I have reservations, and it's all the none parts. And you know she has an Australian accent. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. She's from Australia. Well, okay. Yeah, that'll do it.

See? That's a pretty good one. Adams, clean sweep here on Jordan, Jesse, go. This is Jordan, Jesse, go. I am Jordan Morris, a boy detective. With little bunny shoes, Chad Fogland. And? Ron Batcock. I am Jordan Morris, a boy detective. With little bunny shoes Chad Fogeland. And. Ron Babcock.

I got to have a nickname, Ron. Ooh. Need of a nickname, Ron Babcock? Okay, think about it. I'm going to give you one more segment to come up with a nickname. Oh, Jesus. So, you know, mull it over. Mull it over.

All right. So, guys, I wanted to take a minute to tell a humorous story. Please do. And hopefully you guys will have interjections because then I'm just talking to myself. And that's not interesting. Anyways, recently for work, I took a trip to the Cayman Islands, which I always hate saying because then inevitably the reaction from the people listening is like, ooh la la. Oh, I thought the reaction was going to be like, oh, did you come there? What?

Why would – Cayman Islands. Oh, yeah. A bit of a stretch. Yeah, that is a bit of a stretch. Sure, sure. Maybe if I was down at the docks or something like that. Guys, I'm a dock worker.

Oh, really? I didn't know that. So in your list of credits, a stand-up comedian, a sketch comedian, writer, performer, duck worker. Duck worker. Duck worker. Okay. Number 487.

Wow. That's a lot of slashes, a lot of hyphens, but you've got to have it these days in this biz. Yeah. I'm a renaissance man. Sure. Absolutely. I'm sorry to interrupt your story.

Please. No, no, no. That's okay. Anyway, working in the Cayman Islands, go ahead and get your ooh-la-la-ing out of the way now. Ooh-la-la. Yeah, all right, guys. All right.

Anyways, and part of this trip was to... This was a trip sponsored by the Cayman Islands Board of Tourism, who wanted Fuel TV to come out and not only show their fine skateboarding facilities, but some of the other things you can do when visiting the island that's not skateboarding. Anyways, so they prepared for me an itinerary of Cayman Islands-y things to do while out there. That's kind of cool. Yeah, yeah, it was nice. And yeah, and definitely not something I, I normally don't visit a place. That's not true.

I would say half the time I make it a point to kind of seek out the touristy things in the place, but the other half of the time I don't. I just mope in my hotel room and hope hope that uh the hulk comes on hbo that's sometimes what i do um right which one a new hulk okay yeah anyways um anyway so so in one of the things that uh uh they they wanted for me to do was go to something called Stingray Island. It's a very popular Cayman Islands tourist attraction, Stingray Island. That sounds – why is it named that? Well, because it has a bunch of stingrays at it. I figured as much.

It's crawling with stingrays. And it's not so much an island as it is a sandbar that is maybe – you get on a boat. You travel out in the ocean for you know about 30 minutes 30 minutes 45 minutes and you come to a sand bar where you're in the middle of the ocean but the water is only up to your knees is it like oh is it like one of those uh pictures you see in a calendar calendar where the calendar yeah no the calendar yeah sure they have the the sand just up like a foot and there's like someone sitting there with a corona, and that's it? Yeah, it's a bit like that, sure.

It's not that big. By calendar, you mean corona commercial. Right. Yes, you're talking about the promotional calendar you got. Oh, okay. That's a colloquial. See, I wasn't making fun of him, Ron. I was just clarifying to make sure you knew what a calendar was.

Oh, okay. That's a corona commercial. That's the official term. You know what, John? Look it up on Wikipedia. Yeah, okay. That's a Corona commercial. That's the official term. Oh, it is. You know what, John? Look it up on Wikipedia. Yeah, look it up. Google it. That's like a Cockney rhyming slang thing,

isn't it? Yeah. Okay. Not my word, you know. Hey, no. Anyways, so yes, it's much like the popular calendars. Can I say something real quick?

You may. About the dictionary and all the words in the dictionary? None of my words. I just use them. Don't shoot the messenger, man. I'm just saying the words. I didn't write them down in a book.

Yeah. I didn't want a word drop, but my family actually owns the word porch. Really? Yeah, we're the ones who came up with that. So every time you use that, we get a little bit of a kickback. How about that? That I'm never using that word again. Yeah, no.

Try to get through your life without using the word porch. Especially in the South. Yeah, I'm going to say front of house platform from now on. I know it takes a long time and will be confusing to everyone. I'm going to say front door deck. Fine, great. These are all things we can stay instead of Babcock's little whatchamacallit. Porch patent.

Go ahead. Yeah. Anyway, so yes, it's a sandbar. You're out in the middle of the ocean, but the water is up to your knees. Very amazing thing. Very kind of mind-boggling. And while you're out there, what they want you to do is to pet the stingrays that come up. And the stingrays, when they hear the boat, will swarm the boat because they know that that's where the food comes from.

will swarm the boat because they know that that's where the food comes from, that you're supposed to feed them and then when they pull up to the sandbar the boat worker will throw out a big bucket of chum. Yes, yes. So they want you to

pet the stingrays, to pick up the stingrays, they will take a picture of you kissing a stingray, which they say is good luck. Do stingrays enjoy it? I don't think they enjoy it. Pick them up. Did the stingrays enjoy it? I don't think they enjoyed it. No, but that's not what concerned me. It was not the stingrays' enjoyment, but my dying, maybe. A stingray.

Am I alone in being told my entire life that a stingray wants nothing more than to kill me and my entire family well uh i don't this is sad but the crocodile hunter i mean yeah and and that's kind of what i said eventually on our way over there i'm like hey guys uh elephant in the room we're going to this stingray thing didn't one of these kill the crocodile hunter like stingray in the water yeah right um and here's the reaction i got from the cayman islands people uh paul f tompkins uh a fave comedian of all of ours i'm sure has a bit where he talks about uh when someone's dog barks at you on the street and you recoil and then they make you feel like an asshole because they love their dog,

they are convinced that their dog would do no harm to anyone and you recoiling is ignorant to them. This is the reaction that these people had when I said, hey, aren't these things we're going to pet deadly and didn't they kill an experienced naturalist? They insist, they insist that the stingray is not deadly, and the only way for one to hurt you, they basically implied that what the crocodile hunter did

was pick up the stingray and press the barb into his chest in such a way that it killed him they basically implied that maybe he wanted to die and did it by jamming the stingray stinger against the will of the stingray all right today i'm gonna kill myself yeah i know what i'm doing yeah also folks don't do this at home. I'm going to press this thing right here. Unless you want to end it all. All I want to do is get kissed and hugged. Yeah, I know. And they imply that the stingray only wants to kiss and hug you and to eat your chum. These are friendly stingrays.

But with what arms and what lips? Well, that's why it needs you. And there's like hundreds of these are. That's why it needs you. Yeah, I would say they were probably, when we got out there, probably, yeah, maybe 40. What did the other tourists, were they on board? I was like, what? Yes, the boat was filled with tourists.

You know, a very touristy bunch. I was, you know, kind of in the middle of a lot of younger kids and then a lot of like older couples. I was the most scared. I would say that my scream – That doesn't surprise me. My scream when the stingrays approached the boat was the loudest and the highest pitched. Yeah, and they – and I did this thing. I fed the stingray.

I touched it. I petted them when they came by. I let them take a picture of me kissing it. You kissed a stingray? I kissed a stingray. Now, is that picture going to show up on the site? Did you get first base with a stingray? Yeah, I would say a solid first,

and I don't know what the equivalent of breasts would be. Yeah, yeah. Stingray titties are the best. I touched its water. Sting titties! I touched its water flying flaps. Oh, that's like third base yeah yeah that's a little more of you it's gonna be a little stingray daddy yeah you can't prove that kid's

mine you can't prove it's mine that stingray uh kisses eight tourists a day all right but if i see a stingray with a bushy curly head of hair yeah with a high-pitched girlish scream. Right, yeah. Who shrieks when it sees other stingrays. But here's the odd part. They insist that you could...

The ways to be hurt by a stingray. A, do like the crocodile hunter did and physically push the barb into your own chest. Right, no,

because that happens. Or two, they said, well, if you step on one, it'll sting you. That could easily have happened. That's not out of the realm of possibility. Not even close. That is absolutely

something that could happen. So yes, I did this. I felt that it was shady. Actually, if you step on a stingray, aren't you – you're putting a small amount of pressure on it, which is causing it to sting you. What is a hug, then? Yeah, right? Is it a hug?

Are you putting pressure? Isn't that the same thing? Sure. Isn't that threatening it as much as a step? Wouldn't – if they loved hugs so much, wouldn't they just consider a step a foot hug? No, apparently not. So yeah, that was terrifying, and I do not know that that tourist boat was licensed. So everybody go to the Cayman Islands.

Sounds like a blast. Yeah, do it, everybody. And next time you wake up next to that pretty girl that you are dating, give her a foot hug in the morning. Yeah, just step on her head. Step on her head. Just lightly Yeah, just step on her head. Step on her head. Just lightly and delicately step on her head. Just to let her know hey, I'm still here.

I was once in Costa Rica traveling with some friends and I don't know if I should be telling this but my friend Skeet woke up his girlfriend at the time. They were kind of like they were sleeping together. We were all in the same room

because it was like a hostel and it was very hot and it was a beautiful, beautiful country at a wonderful time. And they were, you know, like boyfriend-girlfriend. They kind of were sleeping in a lover's embrace. Sure.

A spoon? Was this a spoon situation? It was more like actually the real lover's embrace and their legs were intertwined. They were fucking? No, no, they weren't fucking. They were just sleeping.

I want to clarify this lover's embrace. Well, you know, it's like when you – their legs were intertwined, but then their top hats weren't too connected. But then we heard this giant – almost like a thunder crack. And the whole room woke up and was like, what was that? And Vanessa, his girlfriend at the time, woke up and was like, Skeet just farted on my leg, and it was so loud that it woke the entire room up. Okay. Now I have a follow-up question.

Yes. How is Skeet Aldrich these days? Not too good. Oh, speaking of name-dropping, I have a recent Skeet Aldrich story. It was at a celebrity golf tournament recently. This was a couple of weeks ago. Skeet Ulrich, one of the invited guests.

He's a little fat these days. He's a little fatter than he was in Scream and Wing Commander. So he's on the red carpet in front of the Step and Repeat, which is what we in the biz call the kind of banner behind the red carpet that includes of the step and repeat uh which was is what we in the biz called the um kind of banner behind the red carpet that includes all the sponsors on it so all the celebrities having having their picture taken in front of this step and repeat becomes a free

advertising exactly sure uh anyways and and also at this celebrity golf tournament there were uh promo models there for various products um yeah yeah yeah and this and this was a a an action sports related thing so it was red bull and axe body spray and things like that uh anyways so great product absolutely um so anyway so there's these two uh promo models and skeet ulrich uh steps onto the red carpet everybody's taking his picture uh and one of the photographers yells hey skeet get a picture with the girls get a picture with the girls and uh two of these promo models and i think they're in kind of these uh kind of these trampy golf outfits uh come up and they both put their arms around him and i hear one say to him oh hi what's your name

oh yeah she was like 19 probably had never seen wing commander did he snap her neck he actually did the one inch punch from kill bill wow the exploding heart like she took

five steps and she uh no that's the five point palm exploding heart technique I'm talking about the one inch punch when she gets out of the coffin and there we go audience jordan just proved that he's not scared me as unnerdy as he says he is yeah right yeah that proved it that i that i corrected you uh damn it when umma thurman comes out of the coffin and climbs up through the earth that that image is so scary to me the idea of crawling through the earth and she gets up

and she's like being buried alive yeah it's just absolutely I get so tensed up when I watch it absolutely

even if I watch it again I just I still like it just physically makes me uncomfortable a terrifying scene a terrifying scene yeah

just the sound there's a part in that movie where it's all black and it's just like oh god And you can hear the dirt being dropped In this scene in Kill Bill Uma Thurman, who's the main character Gets buried alive in a coffin And it's pitch black in the movie

I forget which bit of Kill Bill this is I think it's probably in 2 Anyways, and there's a moment where it's pitch black and you can hear the dirt being thrown on the coffin. And she's passed out, but she wakes up hours later to realize, oh my God, I'm in a coffin. And then she just, she has a lighter and she lights it only to realize, oh, I'm in a coffin.

Yeah. Terrifying, terrifying scene. Absolutely. The old pine box coffin too. But then also also hilarious ending to that scene when she stumbles out of the darkness into a diner and walks up and goes a water yeah uh i sound like a lady you know she's like i'll have a water place there's also before that see i'm i'm i'm you know when an actor has a great, there's only so much they can do with it.

You know, I think I read an acting book by David Mamet once, and kind of his philosophy on acting is that the actor should just, you know, read the word on the page as closely as possible and not, you know, offer too much interpretation up. Their job is to say the words on the page. And so that's, you know, kind of much interpretation up and just, and just their job is to say the words on the page. And so that's, you know, kind of one way to approach it. And then, but, and of course, when you have a script by Quentin Tarantino, you, you know, you don't want to do a lot of improvising. You don't want to do a, you don't want to take a lot of liberties with it because it's, you know, probably very, very good. Michael Madsen in that scene, when he, very good uh michael madsen in that scene when he uh when he drives her up to the shallow grave that he's about to put her in uh he's he's knocked her unconscious somehow i forget how it is and she's in the trunk of his car and uh and and he he he says this line with maybe the best inflection

uh that he could possibly say this with, and I still remember it as being maybe one of the best acting choices I've ever seen, how he says this. He says, Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey. That's right.

And, you know, I'm like, brilliant, brilliant. You put your stamp on that by adding that little pause. Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey. No, no, no. He's wakey, wakey. There's a, wakey, eggs and bakey. No, no, no. He's wakey, wakey. There's a comma.

Yeah. Eggs and bakey. Anyway, it's a beautiful little bit of acting in that, I think. Are we done talking about stingrays? Have you guys ever had to encounter an animal that you felt like was dangerous? No, but while I was in Hawaii once, I was learning to scuba dive. Yes. And first off, you go in a pool,

and they teach you how to scuba dive. And they're like, all right, now we're going to Shark Bites Cove. I was like, I'm sorry, what? Like, Shark Bites Cove. And then it was explained to us that it's called Shark Bites Cove. Because it's sponsored by the fruit snacks,

Shark Bites. Those are so good. The fruit snacks shaped like sharks. It's weird that they sponsor that. But, you know, if you're in the fruit snack business, you might as well sponsor a Coke. I've actually had the little packets of Shark Bites, and you find it, and you're like, oh, this is worth it. Yeah, right? You just reach into a little crevice in a coral reef.

A little afraid you might find a moray eel or a poison crab. But you just pull out a little packet of shark bites. Lotto. It was Shark Week recently. It's just wrapping up, right? Yeah, yeah. Did you take the What Tab of Shark Are You quiz on the discoverychannel.com?

I didn't. I actually have a little Shark Week thing to add. But first, Chad... Oh, my God. I didn't mean to jump on the horse. No, to add. But first, Chad. Oh, my God. I didn't mean to jump on the horse. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's okay. I want you to finish your business.

What type of shark were you on the? I was. Can I guess? Yes. Mako. I'm going to guess he's a hammerhead. Ooh. Ooh, close.

Don't keep us in suspense, Chad. Tell us. I was a great white. Ooh. That's the best kind of shark there is. That's like the Gryffindor of sharks. Although I will say this. A little insulting because –

Come on, Babcock. Like it's – It is Gryffindor. It's one of those – it's like one of those things like you – and I ended the quiz and it's like you're a great white. And it has that boom, boom, you know, whatever they have on shark. Sure. And I'm like, oh, wow. And then like you read the little description underneath it and it's like the great white, probably the most intellectually inferior of all sharks really like what oh at least i'm a great one you're a big dumb idiot but here's the

thing here's the thing what is the difference between the world's dumbest shark and the world's smartest shark i don't think that's a huge gap exactly maybe maybe it it knows what warmth is i don't know. What's the world's smartest shark, and what can it do that the world's dumbest shark cannot do? Also, if you're the world's greatest underwater predator, which is pretty much what the great white is, right? Sure. Yeah, I mean. I mean, I'm not a scientist.

You know, not of all time. If we're going all time, I'm going to say Elasmosaurus. Maybe you could make a case for Plesiosaurus. Or Megalodon, right there. But like, But sure, currently. What about a killer whale? I mean, it's like human beings. We're at the top of the food chain, right? We don't have to be that smart.

Right. Yeah, sure, sure. Yeah, exactly. Here's my, we have a segment on Jordan, Jesse, Go! that actually we haven't done in a while where it's – where we get to repeat jokes we've told that haven't gone over well but maybe represent them to the Jordan, Jesse, Go! audience and hopefully get a little recognition. How long is this podcast? Very – yeah. I'll give you guys each a shot at this as well. But while we were actually pre-Stingray Island, we were doing a little snorkeling in the Cayman Islands. And while we were snorkeling, I turned to the people I was with and I'm like, oh, guys, I think we're in trouble.

I just remembered it's Shark Week. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Zero. Zero. it's shark week nothing zero zero and then you have to hang out with them yeah i'm like hey remember what you said about shark week yeah why i mean what's that about and then you're like what was he talking about shark and like as you as you exit the boat you hear people were like what was a guy with a shark i know i don't know why don't know why, honey. Let's go enjoy our honeymoon doing it. Let's snub.

Yeah, right? And let's not consider him. I'm going to marriage someday where I can say the phrase doing it. Yeah. And my wife is down for it. Yeah, right? Do you guys have any recent jokes you've told that have not gone over? I have a snorkeling joke.

This sounds incredibly appropriate. I don't know why you would hesitate to tell it. I have a snorkeling joke, and I don't... I did it, but then I stopped doing it because it always got an N. Oh, this is in your act. This is a part of your act. Oh, should we do... No, no, I think that's acceptable.

I have a lot of daytime life jokes. The snorkeling joke is the idea of, like, I went snorkeling, which I believe is the rollerblades of underwater discovery. Sure. It's true. Because you do scuba diving and scuba diving is really, really cool. People say that. Sure, and it takes a certain kind of fortitude and I don't want to say masculinity, but a certain hardiness to scuba dive.

People always brag about how deep they can go in scuba diving. Yeah. Oh, I went 30 feet down. A lung capacity thing. Sure, there's a lot. How deep did you go, Ron? Six inches. It's like I almost died because I got some water in my snorkel pipe.

Fell asleep on the boat. Well, you know, that's what you do when you're a snorkeler for life. Is that it? And that's why I don't tell that joke anymore. Oh. I have a character who is my cousin, Andy Forsberg,

who tells a lot of really bad jokes. Oh, yeah, you told him. Chad, this is a character that I've seen you do on stage a few times. And I have been taking a lot of opportunity to write bad jokes for him.

I can tell one of his best bad jokes that he does, and I can tell a new one that I just wrote. Yeah, no, no, let's share. Let's hear the classic chestnut, and then let's hear the new one. Should I do it as Andy? Because he has

a very distinct... He does. No, absolutely. Let's do it. This is fun. Let's see. Hey, okay. Hey, guys. Hey, guys. Did you see on the news, they, uh, they found a manatee in Florida that is, uh, you know, religious, you know, whatever, it's crazy, the manatee, uh, you know, yeah, you know, you know, it turned out to be Jewish,

you know, and, like, you know, like, well, it's crazy, manatee was, you know, believes in, you know, stuff, you know, whatever, anyway, the next day, you know, uh, the manatee was, you know, believes in, you know, stuff, you know, whatever. Anyway, the next day, you know, manatee learned how to fly and it was flying around, you know. And, you know, the Army, they didn't know what it was. They were like, you know, so they shot it with a rocket and it blew up. And I was there. I was down in Florida and, you know, on vacation.

And at first I didn't know what it was and then then i went and i was like oh the jew manatee without a doubt the best joke i have ever heard so yeah no contest so bad but i have a new one that i show for him this is awful because here's another thing about andy it was and this is a real life guy like he has a weird fascination with native americans okay so i found people who like native americans are weird uh you know what i'm gonna go out on a limb and say yeah i think it's uh yeah you know what i know you said that kind of uh in jest but i yeah i feel like a caucasian who's uh who has a lot of dream catchers and is maybe wearing a wolf shirt.

I wear a lot of topaz. Yeah, right. Yeah, I'm going to say yes. I mean, hey, guys, I'm like 80% of the population, right, of white people. There's a little percentage of Native American in me, right? Yeah. Everyone else is like everyone in the world. Yeah, Jesus Christ.

So it's cool that I make these jokes. Right, yeah. Yeah, this is part of your... I got.0333% Native American Cherokee, brah. Exactly. So it's your right. Anyway, so here's a new one I made. So I got in trouble the other day with my Native American friend Tom Lightfoot

because while we were bird watching, I said, Hey, Tom, a hawk. Oh. See, bad. Probably not going to work. But that would be a good setup for the better jokes, like the Jew manatee in Texas. That joke's good. Yeah, you're going to want to close with the Jew manatee.

I usually do close with Jumanity. Yeah. Good night, everybody. In that joke, was he making fun of manatees or the Cirque du Soleil show? Yeah, the sexual Cirque du Soleil show. I actually wrote the Jumanity joke. Stop bragging. To me, when I wrote it, I was picturing – I was like, wouldn't it be interesting to say, oh, the humanity as after the famous blimp that blew up?

Sure. But what looks like a blimp? The flying Titanic. Yeah, the flying Titanic. What looks like a blimp? A manatee. Now, how can I say, oh, the manatee? I was like, what if it was Jewish?

Oh, the Jewish – oh, oh, the manatee? I was like, what if it was Jewish? Oh, the Jewish. Oh, the Jew-manatee. Sounds like, oh, the humanity. Okay. So then I went and I wrote the setup. But Oli works with that character because what he does is he puts huge long setups for really shitty jokes. Yes. I feel like this is –

I should never explain how I ever again i mean uh not not to just not to discount your process chad and you're a very you're a very gifted performer and i always enjoy your performances when i see them uh but yeah i don't think that one needs to be explained i feel like it's very clear very clear, there was part of me that didn't understand what was going on, so I'm glad he explained it. Exactly. It's nice to have that little DVD commentary. That bad joke. Sure.

I just got the DVD of Jumanity. No, it's fine. Guys, I think we all got a little case of the giggles. Why don't we take a little break? We'll get our giggles out, and we'll be right back on Jordan, Jesse, Go. Welcome back to Jordan, Jesse, Go. I am Jordan Morris, boy detective. Rabbit Little Shoes, Chad Fogelman.

And Ron Great White Babcock. Oh! I like it. See, what you did there is you snaked Foglin's Shark Week quiz result. You could say I sharked it. You could say that, yeah. Oh, it's not Snake Week. No.

It's not Snake Week. But guys, seriously, October 16th through the 19th, Snake Week on Discovery Channel. It's going to be great. It's not quite a whole week, is it? No. It's not Snake Week. But guys, seriously, October 16th through the 19th, Snake Week on Discovery Channel. It's going to be great. It's not quite a whole week, is it? No. Snake Week. Snake Week is just kind of a snake couple of days. It's actually just a snake afternoon. Oh, wow.

But you know what? Hey, snakes, this is my message to all the snakes out there. Oh, please. Keep at it. Yeah. Keep at it, guys. You guys ever seen Albatross AM? Just an Albatross morning, but it's really good.

What? I have no – what are you talking about? Oh, it's on Discovery. It's on December 1st, Albatross AM. It's from 9 to 12. It's all about albatrosses. Wow. You know, the worst week in Discovery Channel history is Snail Week, which is from November to January.

Oh, it hurts! It hurts! Good night, everybody. Why does Chad Fulton cause me pain? Speaking of that sort of remark, while we were hanging out, you actually were telling another story about your rubish cousin from Nebraska. and you know what I I thought that

this bared retelling yes on the podcast because because you know you over the course of your last appearance and some of this appearance we've kind of gotten to know this this wonderful uh character that is your cousin and I feel like this is a great story uh in his pantheon so so so so please uh regalos I was home about a year ago for my grandmother's 80th birthday or whatever, and he sat down at the table next to me and began to tell me a story about how he bought car insurance

on the internet. Probably a big step for him. Doesn't seem like a guy who does a lot of shopping on the net. He lives on a farm. Here's the thing. In our family, he's from my father's side of the family, and they had a 45-acre farm in Nebraska. He sold all but like three acres. And so he's got a lot of money.

Basically, he just sits in his farmhouse. Yeah. Anyway, so he bought insurance, and he told me, he said, you know, at the end of it, you know, so I bought insurance for the car. At the end, it said, do you have another car? I didn't want to lie, so I put yes. Then he goes to tell me about how he bought insurance for his pickup truck. Now he goes through four cars.

The man lives on a farm, so he has a lot of different vehicles for a lot of different purposes. So he goes through the process of filling out for four cars. Now, it's not just him saying, I did this car. Like, it's him going, so then, you know, because I got that 57 Ford pickup. It's blue. It's got a little rust in the bottom. You know, the left tire is a little worn out. But I had to get that, you know, and the radio doesn't work.

And basically he describes – Sure. He describes – Overstraining every car. He takes you through the online form that he had to fill out. This is about a 35, 40 minute conversation

of just me listening to him. You must have been drinking. No. I was living it up because this character, this guy has become comedy gold for me. It's kind of your bread and butter.

Yeah. When I come home, I love it now. But he, at the end of it, after four cars, he goes, and you know,

it's the same thing happens like the thing asked me I had another car and I do I got that old Buick but I don't drive it you know some blocks and I didn't want to you know I didn't want to insure that cuz I don't you know drive it or whatever so I picked up one of my cats and I um you know I made the cat you know push the no button and that way that way you know I'm not lying to which to which I said I forced his cat to click no so he wouldn't be lying on an online forum person right he is he's very pure he's a sweetheart but to which I said I go oh well you know if the insurance company ever

like questions you about this uh you can just say oh well the cat got my tongue to which he was yeah that's why you're the comedian he i like the idea of him picking up the the kind of squirmy cat and forcing it the cat to click feeling a little bit bad about forcing the cat to do that yeah there's a small part i was like i'm sorry also feeling bad about flying to a to an online form yeah uh it was worth it was worth sitting there for almost an hour just to hear that ending that was so good uh to change topics abruptly uh something else that all three of us have in common. And John, I don't know,

but please feel free to pipe up if you have any thoughts on this subject. All three of us enjoy Netflix On Demand. Oh, yes. Yes. John, yes? Yes. He's shaking his head yes.

He is. And this is interesting. And you know what uh i'm gonna go ahead and be honest uh with you guys out there uh uh the case of beer we've bought we've all finished uh it's now gone yeah uh so i don't remember if we've talked about this on the podcast before it's possible we may have and i could be you know we have oh you know what we have not the four of us

here in this room have not talked about this it may have been a podcast topic before but you know what fuck you fuck you listener you know what I'm lashing out I'm lashing out he's lashing out at the audience

at this very kind audience. Now, do we all do 360? Yeah, yeah. John is raising his hand. Yes, I watch it on my Xbox 360. Me too. You do. Ron, where do you watch it?

I don't watch it on my Xbox because I have yet to buy one. Don't you have an Xbox 360? I want one so bad. Didn't I loan you Dead Rising and don't you still have it? I gave you back Dead Rising, but I played it on my buddy's old Xbox, and it was okay. Okay.

I am of the opinion that maybe I'm the only one in the world who understands what a beautiful game Dead Rising is, and maybe it was misunderstood by the media. It's way too involved for me. I've been taking photos of photos of crap i was like i don't want to do this i just want to shoot stuff i'm a big world war ii video game nerd that's the games i like metal honor duty call of duty gotcha so so there were no there were no nazis to kill so you kind of felt you felt a little empty productive like i feel like i'm helping save something dead rising for the people who out there out there who don't know it's a zombie game uh i don't know i feel like killing nazis and zombies in a game is kind of comparable i feel like these are the

two things that everyone can agree they're called you do you just kill nazis that's it where the zombie game you're taking photos and they're trying to do all this others they have all these little missions and it got too confusing all right confusing. Maybe I'm speaking out of turn here. But isn't there a downloadable mission for Call of Duty or one of those World War II games where you end up fighting Nazi zombies? I didn't know that. I think there is. I feel like there is too. Actually, I'm going to buy an Xbox like this.

I'm actually going to probably buy one this month you should actually you know here i'm making a promise to myself ron babcock if you enjoy uh netflix on demand which i know you do i don't have i am going to buy an xbox 360 this month you should do it from 31 days from today fine do it great and get online with that shit and then let's all have a big, fun game. Yeah, let's do it. I love Netflix. I watch it on my computer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And if you have the Xbox and it's on your TV, you can stream it to the TV. Because I get so excited when you put in that movie, and then all of a sudden you see that it's instant, and you're just like, yes! I can watch it right now! Exactly. I can watch it right now. Exactly. For those of you who don't know, the service Netflix has a feature called Watch On Demand, which they have a select library of movies that can be streamed instantly to your Xbox and your TV or to your computer.

Now, it's not every movie they have. No, no, no. This is not every movie in the world. It's a damn good selection so like here's the thing uh about the selection it is an odd one it is uh when you first uh go into the selection start browsing the on-demand movies that you can stream instantly to your computer or xbox uh you know you you see the handful that you uh you know that you would want to see and maybe things you would be getting from Netflix normally. That dries up in about a week.

And then you just start – then you're just a paleontologist on a dig for fossils. They have some bizarre, bizarre things. Every single old movie ever is on demand. Yeah, and your first-run movies that are selling well on DVD will not make themselves available to on-demand. It's just not productive. You get the occasional, like, Up. You know what it is?

Not Up. WALL-E. WALL-E recently made itself available on demand, yes, as well as a few other. Which I watched. Lakeview Terrace just available on demand, yes, as well as a few other. Which I watched. Lakeview Terrace just came on demand. Oh, yeah, Lakeview Terrace with the best. Who hasn't seen that three times?

Lakeview Terrace, of course, I did not see. This is the movie where Samuel L. Jackson is a racist cop out for revenge. cop out for revenge uh best slogan ever uh to a movie uh what's safer than living next door to a cop was the slogan to the movie it was like on the poster to he was dead but then he got better oh yeah but that's knowingly bad i feel like this thing what's safer than living next door to a cop it's it's kind of a i haven't seen the movie but the premise i remember it being very like okay so samuel jackson is a black man with a black family and he lives next and the new couple move oh john is actually just googling pulled up lakeview terrace on wikipedia in case we make the couple that moves next door is a white man and a black woman like it is interrac interracial couple. Yes. And that's not going to go down well. So we're getting a lot of...

And Samuel L. is not having it. No. I think he literally says, like, I'll not move in this neighborhood to have you fornicate for my daughters out there. I don't know why I turned him into some other dad. Oh, yeah. That was a... Oh, God. You self your sylvester

your sylvester stallone impression very good uh your impression of your cousin uh i have not i have not met him but very good uh your samuel l impression a little racist a little racist yes this is a callback to last time i was on this show okay samuel jackson is from colorado back to last time i was on this show okay samuel jackson is from colorado okay what no no go back and listen to the episode okay and then that will be a little a delightful little nugget or maybe i just drank too much it's a possibility anyways no no no no that's fine that's fine what are the types of movies you watch on like gosh some of the movies that you've watched uh yeah i've watched a lot of weird stuff. I've watched Ski School 2. Oh, I thought I used to watch that as a kid.

Ski School 1, not available on Netflix. No, no, no, no. Netflix on demand. Ski School 2, though. Yep. When they used to, the girl, they would go, I remember watching it on like US, or no, I think it was on Showtime in the middle of the night. Yeah, yeah.

And the girls would be, the guy would be going down the thing, and the girls would open their ski jackets and show their boobs. Yeah, this is a movie. I remember watching this in the middle of the night, and I was like – I think I was like 12, and I'd be like, this is the best movie ever. And once again, John Kim has on IMDb Ski School 2. His fingers are made out of lightning. Wait, what is that, two and a half stars? We got to rate that higher than that. That's not enough.

I'm actually gonna go watch that now, because that was the movie that I, like, you know, first became a man to. Oh, oh my. So you're saying you jacked off to this movie. Ron Babcock is saying you jacked off to this movie. Wait, wait, can I issue a challenge to your listeners? You may, you may. With this, if you have

Netflix on demand, you own an Xbox, or if you just watch it on your computer, please, go watch Skischool 2 and give it the highest rate because on imdb let's turn this around let's let's make ski school 2 on netflix the highest rated movie with the most reviews of praise possible yes i've been writing this script for ski school 3. And I kind of want to bring you two on board. As writers or eventual talents? I don't... I was going to say both, but... Oh, so this is going to be like a Kenneth Branagh situation. Yeah, well, I

I've both seen you guys without your shirts off and I have to say, I like what I see. You said without our shirts off. Right? And that's what I meant to say. Which you mean right now, Where I'm wearing a shirt That's how we do the podcast Sure

With shirts on As we should It would be bizarre for us A room full of fellas I like it Yeah, yeah, no So I've watched Ski School 2

This is a A ribald comedy made in John, what's the year on Ski School 2? Would you bring that up for me? 94 I would guess earlier. It's surprisingly bad. Maybe the Ski School then is the one that I saw. 94, well, no, that was a, I would be in sixth grade, so I guess that times it out.

And this is a movie, this is a snobs versus slobs comedy. Oh, it's a classic. This is some hip sk versus slobs comedy. Oh, it's a classic. This is some, you know, some hip skiers and snowboarders. It paved the way for Out of Bounds. What's Out of Bounds? Isn't that the one starring Zach Galifianakis on the mountain race? That is Out of Bounds.

You're right. It is Out of Bounds. I don't know. You know, there's a lot of... Horrible movie. Growing up as a child in Nebraska, we would go to Colorado every winter to go skiing and i i mean i've been skiing since i was like eight years old yeah uh forever and like i can't snowboard at all like i cannot snowboard but i can ski okay like very very well you know i've done both and i find skiing harder so i imagine that's uh uh you know good for you i guess it's just

maybe i just learned reverse it It's a balance thing. Yeah, whatever. But like Snow Patrol, Ski School, Ski School 2, Out of Bounds, they're all snobs versus slobs. They make it like the townies of whatever mountainside ski resort. Yeah. They live there all year round and this is like – I guess the rich kids. This is their mountain – no it's the rich kids this is their mountain no no not the rich kids the rich kids come in to visit for skiing and it's the townies who are like they get drunk and like

party you know they live in that town like this is our town this is our mountain we love this place and then i just spit on you that's okay sorry and then then the rich yeah the snobs come in and they try to change the mountain oh they try to. They try to re-groom it or make it more sophisticated. And that's not going to go down well. Usually involving a new Zamboni or not a Zamboni. No, it's a Zamboni. It's a Zamboni. Okay, yeah.

You know how many Zambonis are used on ski mountains? That's how they paint the... You know, guys, we're sitting around here. Gondola. Sure, gondola. We're sitting around here. Gondola. Sure, gondola. We're sitting around here. We're three Hollywood insiders. We're all in the biz, and we're kind of, we're scoffing.

We're scoffing now at these, you know, at these movies, which I think we probably all regard as hackneyed. And, you know, we're having a good laugh at the kind of, uh, the, uh, we, we're having a good laugh at the kind of – We, Scott B. John, is actually bringing up the posters for the ski school movies on the computer screen. And they're boobs and butts, basically. Yeah, just no holds barred. Guys, I was making a point. Yeah.

You know, we're hipsters. We're insiders. And, you know, we're scoffing at these movies for being well-worn territory and derivative, but none of us are from a mountain town. Ron, if I remember correctly, you're from Arizona. Actually, I'm from Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. Oh, okay. You remembered incorrect. Yeah, I'm a asshole.

I started comedy in Arizona, but I actually grew up in northeast Pennsylvania, coal mine territory. Chad, you're from the farmlands of Nebraska. I am, of course, from Orange County. John, where did you grow up? San Francisco. So none of us have grown up in a mountain resort town. No. This may very well be an actual struggle that goes on in mountain resort towns.

We don't know. We don't know and you know what and the the the authors of ski school one and two and uh ski patrol and out of bounds that this could be just a a a a literal and not literal but uh but an actual you know kind of kind of purging of the feelings they had growing up in a mountain resort that's what i was getting at was. We would go in for the winter just to go skiing. Yeah. And my parents would rent out a condo or whatever. Wow.

Hold on. The party just broke out. Yeah. As we're talking, a brief burst of metal music just happened. Perhaps in Spanish. I think the townies are upset. Yeah, right? The Korea townies are mad at all us

so so chad i think the point you are making is that you're maybe afraid you are the snob in this situation yeah i was very much and there there's a there's a very strong like i've as much as i've done i've lived out in la for eight years and and and I love it out here, but there's always a little bit of me. A little bit of me. A little bit of me. You tried to say part and bits at the same time, and you said bits. There's a little bit of a part of me that would love to move to Breckenridge, Colorado, Silverthorne, Colorado, one of these ski towns, and become a townie. And then help them to battle well i'm gonna i'm gonna say i've

never admitted this before but there's a part of that really wants to be a ski school instructor or ski patrol or from seeing these movies as a child like i wanted i want to be one of the townies has crept into your imagination i do have friends who've lived that life, though, and they all have fond memories of their time. Just kind of like, yeah, it was a ski bump. Bumming around. A couple of winters. Doesn't that seem like fun? It does.

You know what? Everybody has that genre of movies that they can't help but love. You know what genre of movies I love? Any movie involving camp. Oh, okay. I love it. Yeah. Camp Poison Ivy?

Oh, forget about it meatballs no no hold on what's what's camp with uh jason bateman okay uh no no i'm not jason bateman fuck that i'm michael j fox okay and he goes to he's a camp counselor at a summer camp and everything like even when i was a kid uh like camp kookamonga um which i just recently watched the rap video from cam kookamonga on youtube and was still entertained to this day okay um but all those like uh camp nowhere but i was a little too old for that but i fucking still earnest goes to camp twice earnest goes to camp of course any camp movie i am on board for because i was that kid who went to camp and i loved oh nice yeah i worked i did work uh summer in college, I worked as a co-ed summer sleepaway camp counselor.

And I got to admit, awesome. Had the most fun summer, drank a ton. I just had a great – got to like water ski and climb rock walls or whatever. Nice. I had a blast. So sometimes – So sometimes follow your dreams. Go be a ski school instructor.

A blast. So sometimes – Follow your dreams. Go be a ski school instructor. The day I go to be a ski school instructor is the day I want you to go and become a camp counselor. Well, there are going to be different seasons though. Yeah. So I mean you guys could conceivably team up in this situation and help each other out following your dreams. What if for a year during camp season we go become camp counselors, and then during the winter we'll become ski school instructors?

You know, I know you're joking, but to be honest, I know we would have a really fun time. I kind of think so too. It's fun to be like, yeah, we'd have to leave LA, but at the end of the year be like, yeah, no, it was a blast. We got a lot done. Yeah, we got a lot done. We had a really great time. How old are you? We're 40.

Yeah, we're 40. I have no doubt. I really do look back on that summer extremely fondly. You know what genre of movie I like? I was just going to ask you. Please, please. Something where Mila Jovovich kills some zombies. So I think that goes back to my childhood.

Where? I'm sorry. What did you just say? I just trilled off oh because i didn't have i had no justification for loving that uh but is there a type of movie that you watched growing up that you're like i want to do that gosh um god what movies did i like growing up um let's see uh i watched aliens a lot we had a vhs copy uh yeah yeah sure that Aliens a lot. We had a VHS copy of... Game over, man! Game over! Sure, that I watched a lot. Yeah, I don't know. I don't really... I didn't have a lot of

quote-unquote childhood experiences. Were you more of like, as a kid, were you more of a video game kid or were you more of a movie kid? Or did you like... Video game kid. Video game kid. Yes, indoor video games. Sure, absolutely. Okay.

Yes, so starting... Yeah, no, I remember when we got our Atari, and then... You know why I want an Xbox so bad is because when I was a kid, my parents didn't let me have a Nintendo or a Sega. We had a computer. A Sega? It was not the same. You know, the good thing about Xbox 360 is they do have, like, Street Fighter. Like, you can download, like... Yeah like street fighter like you can download like yeah yeah definitely you can all those uh my buddy rob has one and whenever i go over to his place i

spend all my time on it and i have such a blast because that is so cool you can download all the old games absolutely it's wonderful i have galica on mine uh galica so uh hey uh i feel i feel like i feel like we all deserve a free xbox. I feel like we've talked it up enough. I mean, you guys have a lot of power on the internet. Is Xbox going to send us free stuff for pumping them? They should. We haven't been talking about Nintendo Wii. No, we have not been talking about the PS3.

No. You know what? Nintendo Wii Wii. That's P. Nice. Boom. You know what? Hey, Xbox, guess what we're doing?

We're even dissing the competition. Yeah, that's right. Chad just called it a Nintendo Wii Wii. So, guys, not only are we pumping your product, but we are tearing down the competition. Some of Chad's earlier credits include the Jumanity joke,

which you may have heard about before. Cat Got Your Tongue, of course, which is a classic. A perennial favorite in the Chad Foglin movement. I remember the first time I heard Cat Got Your Tongue, and I got to tell you. It was a big moment. It was okay. It was almost as good.

Oh, okay. So you're saying you weren't immediately on board. No, the second time I heard it, I was like, all right, I'm on board. Yeah, exactly. Almost as good as Snail Week, I guess. Let's not talk about Snail Week. I was, yeah. Oh, guys, this has been a real delight.

Yeah, you know what? That's it for this little bit on Jordan Jesse Go. We'll be right back. No, we're not done officially. We'll do an official wrap-up, but I'm just saying for this little bit, I'm going to go ahead and put a bow on it. All right, but when are we going to leave now? No, we'll be right back for Jordan Jesse Go.

This is Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. Little bunny shoes. I think I said little rabbit shoes last time. You know, you've been saying a bunch of shit, Foglund. It's unimportant at this point. All right. Ron Babcock's Chad Foglund.

Great. I am Ron Great White Babcock. Fantastic right. Ron Babcock's Chad Poglen. Great. I am Ron Great White Babcock. Fantastic. Great White Babcock. Fellas, thank you. Yeah, Great White Babcock. That sounds like a giant penis. Hey.

Seventh grade all over. Yeah, right. Fellas, thank you so much for joining me during this podcast. It's been fun. It's been rowdy. It's been Lucy Go podcast. It's been fun. It's been rowdy. It's been Lucy Goose. It has been. I would call it the Proceedings Lucy Goose.

Sorry that we did not get to any listener calls. We didn't get to any momentous occasions, but I don't know how to do that. Yeah. So that's the reason why. That's more of a just thing. I don't want to impose on his thing which is his strength to be honest listening to other people right i mean let's

listen to us no one ever does that no and you know what we're listening to us why should we listen to others exactly yeah you said that funny um so yes thank you very much for listening uh for all those uh uh all of those of you out there who uh who are uh hankering for jesse back you'll be back at the end of the month but uh i will be uh heading up this operation for a little while longer with some more uh guests and various surprises. So please, thank you for your patronage and patience while Jesse is on vacation. Fellas, where can people find out more about your performance online? Let's go with Ron first.

I think you actually have a website, right? Do you have an actual website, Ron? I do have a website. Let's hear it. It's ronbabcock.com, so pretty creative. Okay. B-A-B-C-O-C-K, ronbabcock.com, where I blog daily. Okay, there's some daily blogging going on at ronbabcock.com.

People seem to be enjoying it. Yeah, and maybe a Tumblr? Do you have a Tumblr these days? Well, it's connected. I did the links myself in iWeb. But yeah, it's ronbabcock.tumblr.com, and it's all. Just go to ronbabcock.com. You'll find it all there.

There you go. Chad Foglund. Chad Foglund. I'm on all those sites, MySpace, Facebook. But I think most prominently right now I Twitter a lot, but my Twitters are like my bad jokes. So if you like any of the bad jokes I did – I'm following you, and I love it. Yeah, sure.

If you like those intentionally bad jokes, people. If you want some more humanity, you know where to go. Exactly. Yeah, I'm just Chad Fogland, all one word. My last name is Fogland, F-O-G-L-A-N-D. Boom. People. Find me.

There you go. You've got a little internet assignment. Until next time, check out these two fellas on the internet. Thank you for listening. Bye. Thank you. Thank you.