Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 123: Do I Sound Like A Musical Robot?

Episode Date: January 31, 2010

Jesse and Jordan discuss Sundance, play a rousing round of Would You Rather? and return to an old favorite, Hang It Up / Keep It Up.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys, and take off your shoes and socks and run you. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. And I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. And this is... Jordan, Jesse, Go! Icicles, tricycles, ice cream, candy, lollipops, popsicles, licorice sticks, Salmon, Jesse, go.

We say goodbye to Mariel, the intern. We have a triumphant return from Jim Ray Alva, master of Would You Rather, and I get kind of upset about Avatar. Sorry. Let's go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. It's nice to see you, friend. Nice to see you, too. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective.

It's nice to see you, friend. Nice to see you, too. It's been some time. Yeah, it has. I'm not here to tell people that it hasn't been a little while since the last Jordan, Jesse Goh. That would be disingenuous. The fact of the matter is that it has been a little while. Yeah.

But we're back. We're better than ever. Well, I'm going to maintain about the same quality if you want to be better than ever that's fine but i uh i plan on uh jordan look at me look at me in the eyes i'm doing it you maintain the same quality i'll maintain the same quality but do you notice anything different about these microphones we're talking into? I do. These have handsome, professional, news-style mic flags on them. Microphone flags, Jordan. That's all we need to do to be better. Yeah.

We do not need to improve our performances. We don't need to practice. We don't need to write or prepare material for the program, which we certainly have not done. Absolutely not. All we need to do is keep an even keel and let the Mike Flags do the work. Don't let the quality slip too much, but then just kind of coast on that Mike Flag momentum. Here's the thing. If you knead the dough too much, it will not rise.

Okay? The Mike Flags are the baking soda in the cake that is Jordan Jesse Go. For the non-Hollywood insider, a mic flag is kind of a plastic piece that fits around a microphone and says the name of the outlet that the microphone is broadcasting to. Now, hold on, Jordan. Sorry. Because you're overwhelming people. You're right.

Because this is what they're thinking. Jesse, I'm not a Hollywood insider. How can a mic flag, how can one of those boxes fit on a Shure SM7? Yeah. The answer is they're custom microphone flags specifically for the Shure SM7 microphone. These are the best. Thanks for reaching out to the layman. I know I can get a little jargony sometimes.

Absolutely. Jordan, I see myself as part host, part translator. I think, you know, I was headed out to the Sundance Film Festival. Sure. And Nick, the editor of The Sound of Young America, sent me an email. He said, do you have any mic flags? I said, no, I don't have any mic flags. That's not a half bad idea, though.

Maybe I should get some mic flags. I like where this story's going. So here's what I did. Keep going. Keep going. I picked up the telephone. I called my friends at micflags.com. Yes.

They said they cost $60 a piece. I holy shit sixty dollars a piece but you know what that's the price you have to pay for professionalism the proof is in the pudding these are nice jordan you're gonna have these forever these are these will literally last forever these are made out of i dropped one in the toilet earlier it's still going which one did you drop in the toilet oh i dropped well i dropped two of them in the toilet earlier it's still going which one did you drop in the toilet oh i dropped well i dropped two of them in the toilet which two did you drop in the toilet i was making them toilet kiss and then i dropped them and so you put them in the toilet i dropped them in the toilet i didn't put that you make it sound intentional why were they slippery oh because of the vaseline I put on them.

You Vaseline-ed them in the toilet? Just to make... So there wasn't unnecessary rubbing while they were toilet kissing. You were concerned that they would chafe while doing what? Toilet kissing. That's when you, like, kiss over a toilet. That's when you make two inanimate objects, like, pretend to kiss over a toilet That's when you make two inanimate objects Pretend to kiss over a toilet I was worried about

Structural damage Damage to the face of the microphone flag So I just rubbed a little Vaseline on them That was my undoing Jordan, I don't keep Vaseline My concern was my undoing I don't keep Vaseline in my bathroom Do you travel with Vaseline?

Yeah, I just keep a handful in my pocket Just not a jar full? No, no. God, no. If I had a jar in my pocket, that would look pretty weird walking down the street. Do you keep your hand in the pocket all the time? Is that why your left hand is always

in your pocket? Yeah, yeah. That's why it's always greasy. Wow. Yeah. I feel like we've really learned a lot. I figured you knew. Well, I knew that I had microphone flags and that they were surprisingly expensive. I did not know about this whole greasy hand business. Yeah.

Wow. Well, I, you know, live some, learn some. That's my motto. Is it? Is that a, that's like a motto you made up now. Live some, learn some. Okay. That's my motto. Is it? Is that a, that's like a motto you made up now. Live some, learn some. Okay. That's my motto.

Sure. It's a, you see, it's live and learn both start with L, so, and then L ends with some, which is what makes it a motto and not just a phrase. Sure. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Love you. Love you. Love you.

Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. Oh, it's nice to have you here on the show, Jordan. Yeah. It's nice to be here doing this show.

We're recording in the evening, which is unusual for us. Yes. The weather outside in Los Angeles, crisp, beautiful weather. Yeah. We've been having rain. Now we're enjoying clear skies. Yes. I'm delighted to be here. Yeah, it's kind of nice. Overall. The calm after the storm. Yeah. The storm was moderate. Yeah. I had a terrifying storm when I was in Utah. Went to Utah for the Salt Lake... What's this called? Sundance Film Festival. Sundance Film Festival. The Salt Lake City Film Festival, I believe it's called, starring Bobby Redford. Yeah.

And we rented a sport utility vehicle. Mm-hmm. We rented a sport utility vehicle. And I thought, well, if I'm paying the $70 a day to rent a sport utility vehicle, it will be a four-wheel drive sport utility vehicle, given that this is the frozen and snowy land of Utah. Sure. It's not. It's a two-wheel drive sport utility vehicle. I rented it from Fox Rent-A-Car.

Have you ever rented a rental car from Fox Rent-A-Car? I never have. I'm a national man. I'm a member of the Emerald Club, the national rental car, so I got a pretty posh deal over there. When you're traveling for work, do you usually rent a rental car? Is that part of the situation? I would say maybe an eighth of the time. Really? So rarely? Rarely, yeah. Do you take a town car with your colleagues to the airport? No, you know, we can ride off taxis, so that's generally how we do it. But, you know, sometimes when long distances have to be traveled, definitely in snow environments. I feel like all the snow environments I go to for work are far away from the airport.

Right. Yeah. Okay, so I went to this Fox rent-a-car. It might as well just be called abandoned lot rent-a-car. Like, you go in the Salt Lake City airport, there's this huge rental car area with, like, 25 different rental car companies. You know, your Nationals, your Unites, your Dollars, your Rent-a-Rex.

Mm-hmm. The whole smorgasbord of rental car options. And there's absolutely no Fox rent-a-car. You have to go upstairs through a parking lot and then catch a shuttle. it looks like what i would imagine a special needs bus in detroit in 1983 would look like yeah or like in new york when new york was bankrupt like just shit's falling off of it like some of the seats are wet you know like they're they're porous and wet like you could sit down on it and water would come up, you know, in a little spray. And it takes you like 20 – on a 20-minute ride through industrial Salt Lake City.

Like you're like, oh, here we are, Salt Lake City. We're near the airport. Here's the, you know, burger place or whatever. And it's just getting like – you know, when you're by the strip clubs in Salt Lake City, that's when you know you're really like... I wouldn't... I would think maybe that the strip club was something that was banned in Salt Lake City. Yeah. I would think that because of their...

They don't have to ban it because no one will go to its location. Okay. There might as well just be, like, fucking foaming at the mouth dogs. Like, it's basically like renting a car from a junkyard. Okay. Like, you know Heathcliff the Cat? Yeah, sure. It's like renting a car from Heathcliff the Cat, you know, and no one should.

Yeah. And so we rented this car, and the snow was outrageous. It was, like, snowing, like, for real. I had never even been anywhere where it was like snowing like for real i had never even been anywhere where it was snowing for real like snowing snowing snow was falling down like a little bit of snow you know like a twinkle of snow is that what it's called yeah yeah is it called a twinkle of snow that's a twinkle of snow there you go it's called It's called a twinkle or a glisten. Sure. It was crazy. Teresa was driving. We were staying like maybe five miles east of the festival,

and we had to drive on the highway, and we had to drive 20 miles an hour and felt like we were driving really fast, driving 20 miles an hour on the freeway. It was terrifying. But you made it okay. I did. I made it okay. I made it to the Sundance Film Festival. I met Mr. Kevin Kline. Wow.

He's my close personal friend now. Did you interview him or was it just – I interviewed him for The Sound of Young America. That's pretty nice, right? What project is Kevin Kline currently in? It was great actually. It's this movie called The Extra Man. Okay. It's directed by the people who directed American Splendor. It's a husband and wife directing team. Their big credits are they directed American Splendor,

and then they cashed in on having directed American Splendor by directing The Nanny Diaries. Okay. I suspect that's some sort of hacky movie. I don't know. The Nanny Diaries. It was a, it was a sort of a chick lit memoir adaptation. It was about by a young girl who was a nanny in a rich family and wrote sort of a tell

all memoir. Okay. That, you know, had a pink cover. So now they've got this chick lit money. So they got this. What I want to know is who. Dream is to work with Kevin Kline. What is the Hollywood guy who was like, I saw that American Splendor, you know, the movie about the antisocial coot who writes comic books.

And his friend who's well down the Asperger's spectrum. Sure. Like, I think. We need someone to direct our rom-com. Exactly. Like, I think we need someone to direct our rom-com. Exactly. Oh, you know, you know, in another, but in another one of those weird turns, the guy who directed King of Kong, which is the documentary about this, the antisocial weirdos who set the, who set the records for King Kong and other like old time arcade games. What's nice about that movie is it's really about the two kinds of antisocial weirdo.

Yeah. The really nice antisocial weirdo. There's the antisocial weirdo who won't meet your gaze. Yes. And then there's the antisocial weirdo who wants to tell you about something he's amazing at. Sure. Go ahead. Continue.

And those, that guy directed Four Christmases, if I'm not mistaken, which was the one where Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon, blah, blah, blah, Christmas. The extra man was very much in the vein of American Splendor rather than the Nanny – what's that called? Nanny Diaries. Nanny Diaries. Did you see, have you watched the Jonathan Ames television program, Bored to Death? I have. Okay. It's based on a novel by Jonathan Ames, and it was written by Ames and the two directors.

So nice. It's a movie where- I read Wake Up, Sir! recently by Jonathan Ames. Oh, did you enjoy it? I quite liked it yeah you like a book from time to time sure once in a while you enjoy a novel yeah i i don't or a non-fiction what's a what kind of non-fiction are you looking at of course military history you know i i recently bought a book uh about the election of 1800 uh-huh i plan on reading oh i like uh i like i like I like information about old-time elections.

Who was duking it out in the election of 1800? I think this is Jefferson v. Adams. Oh. Yeah. That sounds intense. Calling each other's wives whores and stuff like that. Did they now? Yeah.

From what I understand. I have not cracked the book yet. What kind of asshole calls Laura Linney a whore? Right? I know. That's what I want to know. Someone who didn't enjoy Kinsey. What she was in. What kind of asshole calls Laura Linney a whore? Right? I know. That's what I want to know. Someone who didn't enjoy Kinsey.

What she was in. Who didn't enjoy Kinsey? I loved Kinsey. Right? Yeah, absolutely. Some jerk. So Paul Dano is the star of this movie from the Little Miss Sunshine film. He's quite good. He plays a Jonathan Ames surrogate.

And Kevin Kline plays this eccentric writer. Jonathan Ames surrogate. Sure. And Kevin Kline plays this eccentric writer. Ted Danson surrogate. Yeah. I was trying to decide who was awesomer, Ted Danson in Bored to Death or Kevin Kline in this movie, The Extra Man. And it is neck and neck. That's two of the awesomest things in modern entertainment. Yeah. But Kevin Kline is this sort of eccentric older writer who lives in this rundown apartment.

And Jonathan Ames' character, Paul Dano, finds him through an ad in the back of The Village Voice that says, Roommates, gentlemen seeks same, which I found just delightful. Sure. I didn't remember that I liked Kevin Kline so much, but I really did. Yeah, no, he's great. Yeah, he's definitely underused.

All I could remember was, Hail to the chief, he's the one we all say hail to. We all say hail because he keeps himself so clean. From Dave. That was all I could remember. That was all I had. The Sundance Film Festival is a weird place. Did your job ever make you go there?

No. I've been to the Toronto Film Festival. That's sort of like the slightly more commercial than Sundance Film Festival. Yeah, yeah. I think some of the big movies at the Toronto Film Festival this year were like Jennifer's Body and Whip It and some other stuff. I think they have your film festival fair, but they seem to tout their big premieres more than Sundance. Was it weird to be there at the Toronto Film Festival? big premieres more than Sunday.

Was it weird to be there at the Toronto Film Festival? I mean, the thing of, I guess the difference is Toronto is a city of, you know, whatever it is, two, three million people, whereas Park City is like a city of, I don't know, 15,000 people. I have been to Park City in like the summertime. But yeah. For summer boarding, for a summer boarding event yeah yeah for grass rolling you it's so weird because the whole town is choked with hollywood people and there are these kind of weird there's there's these fat guys those are the film journalists

um fat shorted men yeah exactly there are these although I'm probably not in the winner probably the men they probably gone the rare long pant there are these gaunt bearded men these guys are filmmakers and actors

and then there are just the mouth breathing-est-breathing-est, ug-booting-est people you've ever seen in your entire life. Just in your entire life. This town is just choked with these people, like just walking over other pedestrians and just putting you know,

putting out their cigarettes in children's eyes and just, oh, it is just a horror show. Yeah. It's just a freak show, a nightmare. Yeah. You know, I, in the, for the Toronto Film Festival, oddly enough, we didn't have actual passes to it. We were like covering peripheral Toronto Film Festival

related things. You were covering the Dew Action Centre. Sure, exactly. And the Slim Jim Party bus. Okay, gotcha. But yeah, so I only caught glimpses of the film festival badness.

The rest of the time I just hung out with some friendly Canadians. That was a weird thing, too, about the Sundance Film Festival. We were riding next to a producer on the airplane. We talked to him. He was a nice guy. Flying coach, huh? He was flying on Southwest,

so it's only one class. But he was a decent fella, and he worked with people that we know on things that we think are great. I'm not going to be more specific than that. But, you know, he was working on the good stuff. And he was talking about going skiing and that he hoped he would get to see a movie or two. that he hoped he would get to see a movie or two. It is amazing to me that all these people go from Los Angeles to Park City to talk to the other Los Angeles people and not watch movies.

Yeah, no, it seems like that, with all the talk of Hollywood cutting back and the times being lean and people need to be more efficient, it seems like the vanity trip is still in full effect. I mean, I feel like I see it all the time, that, yeah, they're like... I feel like everyone on my entire airplane from Salt Lake City to Los Angeles was talking about how they didn't get to see any movies.

What do you mean you didn't get to see any movies? There's movies playing at 9 a.m. Yeah, although I will say when I was at the Toronto Film Festival, it was very hard to see movies. I even gave it the college try a few times and didn't get to. Really? Yeah, there's the... Aren't there industry screenings of every movie at the Toronto Film Festival?

Because there are at the Sundance Film Festival. Yeah, that was... Maybe just my lack of industry badge excluded me from everything, but it seemed like there was the line for everything, even, you know, Iranian well documentaries. This is documentaries about making a well. Sure.

But we're like around the clock. I had assumed when you initially said it, I thought that it was an Iranian documentary about the well, the whole earth electronic link, an early online community. Yes. No, no. This is a documentary about well digging and maintenance. Do they use shovels, backhoes? I didn't see the movie. The line was too long! I have

no idea how they made this well. I do know that it was inspirational, though. We were staying east of Park City, but we were doing our recordings in a house that was being rented by a public relations

company. So we were literally, and it was very kind of them to offer us a room in the house to record our shows. They wanted to talk to the guests who were on our shows because they were operating the house primarily as a gifting suite. Oh. So people were being gifted up and down the thing. And God, it was so bizarre yeah i've been to one or two of those things for work um and those are the those are the most bizarre like relics of an old hollywood that you don't think exist anymore but for some reason they do uh i guess for people a gifting suite uh these companies that sponsor the film festival uh they get several hotel rooms and these companies

set up a table with you know their wares and um people uh and you know the people who are involved with the film festival or you know know, like during the Academy Awards, like Academy Award nominees, are, you know, can come by and get one of these things, like purse companies and laser eye surgery facilities and things like that. It is just, it is a bizarre spectacle to see this go down. There were levels of the gifting suite. Yeah. Some people didn't get to go to the top level of the gifting suite oh so there's like entry badges and also it was just some there were frankly some pretty marginal players involved in this gifting suite on both sides this was not a this was not uh this was i i think that maybe the first year they'd done this, this particular PR company had done this at Sundance, I'm guessing.

It was a very marginal operation. There was just like – I feel like maybe it had just gotten to the point where they just walked down Main Street and looked for pretty girls to gift. You know, usually kind of what happens is my work thinks it'll be a good idea to cover these because, like, in theory, the celebrities will be coming through to get these gifts and will be interviewable. But I think what happens mostly is the celebrities send their assistants, and only the most marginal of celebrities actually show up. The couple times we've done it, like, the only celebrity to show up two times was the guy who plays the assistant on Entourage. The kind of gay Asian man. And then you got sucked into a vortex of time and space by virtue of being overly meta. Sure.

It was super meta. The Sundance Film Festival was a very strange experience uh got to talk to some great uh filmmakers i saw a really wonderful movie the guy who made eagle versus shark did you see eagle versus shark i didn't i go back and forth on whether or not to see eagle versus you don't really need to see eagle versus shark i was not crazy about the movie i mean i didn't hate it i didn't feel upset that i had watched it. And Teresa actually kind of liked it. I like that Jermaine is in it. Yeah, he is. He's grand. But it's really, it's so close in tone to Me, You, and Everyone We Know and Napoleon Dynamite that you've already seen that movie. That's tough. You know, speaking of Napoleon Dynamite and Jermaine, I saw... I believe it's Jermaine. Oh, really? J-E-M, yeah. Anyways, the Napoleon Dynamite

guy's latest movie was called Gentleman Broncos, and Jermaine is in it, and he is fucking amazing. The movie is, I would say okay. I think it got unfairly kind of slammed, but Jermaine is so good in it. Oh, I would enjoy watching that. Yeah, I think you should. I mean, there's a lot of gross stuff. There's a lot of poops.

Oh, really? And barfs. Really? There's some poops and barfs, but, you know. Mormons are allowed to poop and barf. They're just not allowed to say shit. Yeah, sure, exactly. The guy who made The Eagle vs. Sh is this guy called Taika Waititi,

sometimes known as Taika Cohen. Apparently he is part Maori, part Jewish. From New Zealand. Used to be comedy partners with Jermaine. They had a dual act in New Zealand. And the movie is kind of a coming-of-age story for this Maori boy in a Maori town. But no whale rider bullshit. There's no whale riding in the entire movie.

Okay. Why do you use whale rider as the archetype for shitty inspirational movies? It is the archetype for a coming-of-age movie set amongst the Maori. Oh, okay. I guess I didn't know it was set amongst the Maori. Yeah. This is just a really funny, charming, and really sad, too. I didn't expect it to be so sad.

But that was a real winner. I loved it. I just loved it. I saw Chris Morris' new movie, one of my comedy heroes, the creator of Brass Eye and The Day Today. It is a comedy, and the four main characters are a terrorist cell who are trying to suicide bomb something important in London, England. Okay.

bomb uh something important in uh london england okay um and uh they it was i was really surprised because if you watch brass ire the day today which are british television programs the people should run and not walk to the bit torrent to watch that's that's that's required viewing pretty much the funniest shows that have ever been made i you know yeah it's pretty baffling or at least when you you gave me the dvd as a gift and it it blew my mind that this existed and i didn't know about it i think it was around in 1996 yeah when it came out it's uh it's it's it's it's amazing it's spectacular now this movie is um is not a joke intensive like those shows are. And it's not even broad in the way that, say, one of his other shows like a Nathan Barley is. It's actually very character driven.

And I think that part of the point of the movie is that you really start to care about these suicide bombers who are trying to kill murder innocents right it was really it was really something to see this movie that you get so emotionally invested in these horrible in these people who are about to commit this most heinous of acts and also are just bumbling idiots. Yeah. Not without exception. One of them is moderately less of a bumbling idiot than the rest, but mostly just monstrously bumbling idiots. He didn't come on the Sound of Young America.

I tried really hard to get him. He's kind of a famous recluse, isn't he? Yeah, he doesn't like to do interviews. They said if he was going to do something, he would do the Sound of Young America. He didn't end up doing it. But I found out that he did do the Green Scene Daily Podcast. Oh.

Well, there you go. So who knows how that worked out. Probably pretty good. Yeah, well, you know, it is. The boys over at the green scene do some good work. I saw the new. Don't know what that is. I'm not being mean.

I saw the new movie from Jeffrey Blitz, who directed Spellbound and Rocket Science. Hey, now. Both of which were great. And his new movie, Lucky, is about people who won the lottery. Oh, yeah. I heard about that. It was great. It was really excellent.

I don't think it... Maybe it wasn't quite as good as Spellbound, but Spellbound is one of my favorite movies ever. Sure. Has that robot kid yeah exactly that's what i was gonna say so yeah really something without that robot kid in it i mean it was like if spellbound didn't have the robot kid so like oh this is still pretty great yeah you can't yeah you can't just will a kid to say do i sound like a musical robot yeah if

people haven't seen it spellbound is this documentary about kids in spelling bees, and there's this kid who's kind of inconsequential to the overall story, but you could tell they just put him in because he's hilarious, who just talks like a robot for no conceivable reason. And at one point, well, there is a conceivable reason. He's kind of Asperger's. Oh, sure, yeah. But there's a point where he goes,

Does this sound like a musical robot? And it does sound like a musical robot, and it's the greatest moment in the history of cinema. Sure. It is literally the greatest thing I've ever seen on a screen. I saw one of those Mumblecore films, a movie called – God, someone said Mumblecore to me the other day, and I got real – I got mad, so mad to where I wasn't listening to their explanation of what Mumblecore was. It just seems like such a dumb classification.

I think a lot of people who make the Mumblecore movies, such as – Mark Duplass was over here to be on the San Diego America. He and his brother Jay are sort of the fathers of Mumblecorecore i think they're very uncomfortable with how dumb the name mumblecore sounds yeah i if would you explain it i'll try not to tune out but i may they're uh they're low-key uh serial comic relationship films okay um that are that are uh unified by the fact that most of them are at least partly improvised and they have relatively simple production values and they're about young white people. Okay. So is – The Puffy Chair is a famous mumblecore film. Huh.

Okay. An enjoyable film. In this movie – Oh, like Avatar. Right. Okay. Exactly. I know it. Oh, like Avatar. Right. Okay. Exactly. I know what Bumblecore is now.

Exactly. Avatar is a, because that Avatar wasn't scripted. Yeah, no, that was all just like, they just. They just did a stream of consciousness. Yeah, yeah. That explains the whole thing. Well, they had outlines for the scenes. They had like broad outlines.

I don't know. Did you see it? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you could tell really i'll roll off the cuff i don't think i would i see the off the cuff part i just don't think they had an outline okay so you think yeah they just cobbled together i think they just did it in one headlong dive yeah they just one rush of die of three hours you see one three hour recording session they got sigourney in there. Sure.

And then they just retro-animated it into three dimensions. They got that... But like Dr. Katz, professional therapist. Well, no, because I think... I think that was their model for Avatar, was Dr. Katz. Well, the thing is,

I think the process on Dr. Katz involved a lot of editing, going back, picking out the best parts. Okay, so this was just like... This was just whatever came to their head sure you know they just got the guy who wrote you know that movie what was that movie about the giant snake oh dances with wolves yeah i was just gonna say said will you write a similar movie yeah with blue giant blue people but anyway Kevin Costner write Dances with Wolves? He directed it.

Sure, yes. In my opinion, he did. Okay. He wrote it and directed it and starred in it. God, he's great. And he used every part of the buffalo. And in conclusion, Tatanka. Sure. Douchebag was the movie I saw

and I really enjoyed it. very funny core movie that was the mumblecore movie the guy who's the star of this movie had never acted before he was an editor and the director just was like hanging out with him a lot and just thought man this guy's amazing i should make a movie starring this guy was he indeed amazing yeah it was great i mean he was a captivating presence on the screen i mean the the movie was very modest so I don't want to say it was a life changing movie but he was he was indeed

very captivating on the screen that was kind of the story with the guy who starred in District 9 wasn't he just

wasn't he just one of the one of the money guys and then I don't know he just turned out to be captivating I don't know

that sounds great I loved that District 9 isn't that great you know what that didn't seem like the kind of movie you would like. I'm surprised. Well, it was good.

I mean, the difference between me loving District 9 and hating Avatar is that Avatar was fucking retarded and District 9 wasn't. Oh, Jesse. Okay, this might be you yelling at the radio head girl in college situation. I know. I'm going to make people cry. I'm just saying you've got to tread lightly on Avatar. Okay.

I'm going to do a quick summary of my feelings on Avatar. Okay. I think it might have been the dumbest movie I've ever seen in my entire life, and it was the bad kind of dumb where it thinks that it's not dumb. Okay. I thought that it would be a silly action movie,

and it would be cool because it was in 3D. Sure. Actually, it was in 3d sure actually it was both one of the dumbest and one of the most pretentious movies i've ever seen and the only movie that really is comparable in terms of dumbness and pretentiousness that i've ever seen is i is the one of the star wars prequels that i saw which i believe was star wars episode one sure um but that i thought was more aesthetically appealing. Huh. And it didn't give me a headache because it was in 3D and three hours long.

I recognize the dumbness of Avatar, but I didn't mind it. I was in it. Yeah, it's weird. I was in it to win it. Mariel, my intern Mariel, she also didn't think, she was not bothered by the dumbness I was really bothered by it and I want to be clear

I totally went in with a good attitude I was looking forward to having a great time you didn't have a toot going in? you weren't cranky because of the traffic no, Teresa and I went together it's not like someone dragged me to it I chose to go to the movie I love 3D.

Sure. I think 3D is really neat. I was disappointed that I missed Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D. But it was just so assaultingly awful in every way except for technology. I thought it was very badly acted. I thought that it was just so horribly written. I thought it was kind of insulting politically. I just... It was definitely, like, definitely something that stuck out for me was that this was clearly written, you know, five years ago, and the post-production on this movie was so... You know, most of this movie, most of the time making the movie. And the post-production on this movie was so,

you know, most of this movie, most of the time making the movie was in the post-production. So like little Bush references. But here's the thing. Let me finish. Just so the little Bush references and stuff were just seemed especially comical because like, whereas that, you know,

might get applause breaks, you know, five years ago. Now the, like, little winky reference to shock and awe was, you know, just seemed like, all right, whatever. But here's the thing. I was prepared for that. I knew about that and I knew about unobtainium. Yeah. You know, I feel like I'm into Unobtainium now. I had been warned about both of those things.

And I was just like, eh, you know, I can see that still being. But I felt like I was watching G.I. Joe. That's what I felt like. But a kind of G.I. Joe that wasn't just about being an adventure ride. It was about teaching me an important lesson. And I was like, hey, how about this? Wait, Jesse, are you saying you don't like nature? Are you saying that nature isn't the most important thing?

I don't know. Well, I don't... It seems like you need to get your priorities straight. It's all about nature. You know, I guess the moral... I mean, what even is the moral of the story of that movie? Like, corporations shouldn't have wars to get something. Yeah.

I don't know. I just feel like I... I didn't even understand why they... They sort of made it seem like they had been in negotiations or something, but they just bombed the people. I didn't know why they were bombing the people. Yeah. Especially after they left the place where the stuff was, was when the big battle was.

You know, see, all of this to me doesn't seem to be the point of Avatar. Like it seems like the story was so familiar and so by – and so Dances with Wolves and whatever other white man goes to the village story you've ever seen that I don't know. I feel like I just like – just when I realized that was the movie, just kind of like just accepted enjoying it and i felt like it was i mean my my ultimate problem i think was maybe that it was just completely that it was incoherent even in the context of that limited ambition of telling a story that's already been told like if it was star wars you know star wars star wars sure like star wars star wars is dumb and it's incredibly simple. But it's also really fun. And it is effective in its simpleness. Yeah. You know, like Darth Vader is really like cool and evil.

And Han Solo is really like cool and adventurous. And the space fights are cool space fights. Like I find myself just bored in avatar in a way that i did not expect to be yeah you know i was i i thought the i thought where it the where it where it made itself better than the other of these types of movies of the pg-13 blockbusters that have come out recently is that i thought the action was so good. I feel like that awful, awful trend of action that is so frenetically edited that you don't know what's going on. You're just aware that you're feeling intense. I feel like in this one, you could just, you could just see everything. I feel like you just like the suspense. And I felt like I was

getting chased by the rhino monster. And I felt like all that. And that, you know, I did like that rhino monster part right at the beginning. I got, I also got really bored of the forest after about 10 minutes of it. Like at first I was like, man, this is cool. Look at that fucking rhino monster. Look at these fucking twinkle thing, twinkle plants. Yeah.

I thought that was really neat, but I really did. And I'm not saying this to be a dick or and i again i was i was actively trying to enjoy this film and went in with a great attitude thinking i was going to like it i was fucking done with all of it about 15 minutes after he went to avatar world sure i was just i was like okay well that's the end of that don't want to watch this anymore you know i god yeah and then it went on for two and a half more hours. I just thought the action was such a good midpoint between – so there's your bullshit action that you get in an X-Men movie or a Mummy movie

where you just don't know what's going on. And then there's your kind of crazy Hong Kong action. I felt like this was just such a good midpoint. I felt like this was such a good, like, this is crazy. Jordan, do you know that this movie is going to win the Best Picture Award? Yeah, but, you know, but the precedent has been set for that, though. I feel like in a world where Gladiator and... I hated Gladiator, too.

I could not understand why people liked that. You know, I felt that about gladiator it's like well yeah this is this is familiar but but but so cool i kind of like die hard or live free or die hard okay i kind of like that okay that was kind of fun yeah that was fun i like i thought the justin long bruce willis dynamic and that was was great. Yeah. I just want people to know that I'm not just an asshole who hates everything. That you liked an action movie four years ago. Well, yeah, I guess so. I kind of like The Bank Job.

Was that an action movie? Yeah, more of a heist movie, I would say. I tend to like a heist movie more than I like an action movie. I don't like a lot of gross stuff happening. Okay. I don't like a lot of really gross stuff you know while we're while we're talking movies okay uh have you seen the hurt locker i've not seen the hurt locker hurt locker uh this is a movie that could upset avatar for best picture i've been hearing a lot of buzz sure sure it's

real good you should see it um it is and i think that the the thing that the reason that one of the reasons that hurt locker has stuck with me – it's a very, very good movie. But it was directed by the woman who directed Point Break. Uh-huh. And that – her story, which I don't know anything about. I think she was married to Cameron at one point. Something, something, something. But the way I see this – Wait, she was married to Cameron? James Cameron. Something, something, something. But the way I see this...

Wait, she was married to Cameron? James Cameron. Okay. Yeah. Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, who later went on to be in Spin City. The fact that someone can go from making Point Break

to making this movie that has Oscar buzz and is really pretty meaningful and a great tasteful handling of the Middle East conflict is a great example that in this world you can go from in a doing something profoundly stupid although i mean point break is like a really great dumb movie but it is a dumb movie maybe one of the dumbest movies frankly point break is about four dumb movies yeah one after the other right that somehow have been crushed together and that yeah that that she you know that she kept her ambition high and kept getting better at her craft. And now... If she's lucky, and I'm going out on a limb here, maybe one day she'll have the chance to direct The Nanny Diaries 2.

Right. Something truly artistic. But you were really impressed by The Hurt Locker? Yeah, no, I thought it was great. But also as someone who... I would say basically everything I have my hands in now is dumb. I feel like I do good work in my various ventures, but they're all lowbrow, I would say. Are we going to make a sad clown movie?

Is that what you're getting to, Jordan? Yes, here's the pitch. Yeah, an old industrialist. Jordan Morris is Pagliacci. Yeah, right, exactly. It's all, yeah, it's based on Commedia dell'arte. It's going to be called Pagliacci 2020. Yeah, right.

But yeah, but as a, sure, and I hope to not work in the dumb arts for all of my life. I would like to, you know, give something of substance back to the world. So yeah, it's inspirational. The Hurt Locker being, you yeah, it's, it's, it's inspirational. I, the, the hurt locker being, you know, an example besides your, your famous pound cake.

Well, yes, but, uh, you know, my little secret is that's my, uh, my grandma's recipe.

So, Oh, well, that's, uh, that's, that's grandma's contribution to the world. Mine will have to be,

uh, a, a Comedia Del Arte movie set in a dystopian future. We'll be back in just a second. Where computers rule! We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse, go.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jordan. Yes. Have you visited internet recently? Well, I mean, no. Pull it out. Okay.

Right there from your pants and type into it maxfundstore.com. You know why? Why? Jordan, do you remember on this program, gosh, what was it, a year, 18 months or so ago when we offered for a limited time only a certain type of t-shirt about which people were very excited? Yeah. What type of t-shirt was that, Jordan? Jordan Jesse Go shirt. Now, did you ever believe for a moment that people would have another opportunity to adorn their bodies with the wonderful logo and aesthetics of Jordan, Jesse, go? Never. That's what I had presumed.

I presumed that never again would people have the opportunity to see another Jordan, Jesse, go t-shirt, much less purchase one, if they had not already availed themselves of the opportunity that we offered some 12 to 18 months ago yeah right i mean they're sol jordan sol unlike you i'm a man of the people yeah that's why i hated avatar right i am here standing up for all the people in our community who, for whatever reason, could not get a Jordan Jesse Go t-shirt before. That's great of you. I mean, I'm sure at great expense to yourself. Tremendous personal expense, Jordan. Sure. And I did not spare a dime on this thing.

I spent lavishly because I wanted to provide only the finest vestments to our fans. Just like the old man who invented Jurassic Park. Exactly. Hopefully this little t-shirt experiment doesn't go as awry as that one did. I don't want it to come around and bite me

in the rear. And I'll know if the t-shirts start hunting in packs. Sure. If they learn how to open doors. That's when I'll know if the t-shirts start hunting in packs. Sure. If they learn how to open doors. That's when I'll know that I'm fucked. Oh, God. I'll totally watch another Jurassic Park movie if they make it. Right?

Come on. Yeah. I probably would, but I don't think I ever saw Jurassic Park 3. Ah, it was bad. Yeah? Yeah. I don't even know if I saw Jurassic Park 2, honestly. Yeah.

I did see Jurassic Park, and I liked it. I like dinos. Sure. I like Jeff Goldblum. Mm-hmm. Wasn't Bill Macy in one of those things? He was in the third one. Okay.

Well, I like Bill Macy. I just want to go on record saying that I like Bill Macy. Yeah, I'll watch it. You want to go see it? Yes. So in conclusion, order Jurassic Park 4 from the Max Fun Store. Starring Bill Macy. Jordan, we have two new Jordan Jesse Go t-shirts.

Wow. One of them features our heads in profile. One more shirt and we'll have one for each installment of the Jurassic Park trilogy. of the Jurassic Park trilogy. One of them features our heads in profile as created by the great Jamie Tanner, the noted comic artist, Jamie Tanner. Sure. And I think it's quite lovely.

But let's say, so I think for the people who want to see our cute faces, Sure. that's going to be the best option. Our precious pusses. Exactly. Certainly if people are going to want to become familiar with our pusses, that's the way to do it. But, Jordan, let's say that you're just – let's say that you're not that person.

Let's say that you're a person who wants to go to a hip nightclub. Let's say you're somebody who wants to be seen operating an ipad information device sure a cool person of the present a contemporary clean elegant person we have another shirt that features the handsome letters j a j go in a uh I would almost call it, if it weren't so fresh, it would be stern typographic style on the chest of the shirt. It's a, it's a heathered black shirt. This is my favorite one of them, I have to admit. It's a heathered black shirt that says JJ Go in red reverse letters on it. Really beautiful shirt. And as I said, I spared no expense. These are all alternative apparel shirts.

These are... This is what's going to happen with these shirts. You're going to buy one of these shirts to wear. Then you're going to like it so much, you're going to shove it down your pants so it's closer to your balls. Because it's so soft. And then you're going to marry it.

And then you're going to marry it. Because that's the honorable thing to do. And then you're going to marry it. And then you're going to marry it. Because that's the honorable thing to do. And then you're going to move to Utah. Because in Utah, you can buy some more of these shirts and shove them down your pants. And when you become unhappy with them, you drive out to the dangerous strip club. All at maxfunstore.com. We got a cool Max Fun shirt, too, that looks sort of like the Run DMC logo, if people know what that looks like. Red, black, and white.

This is a black shirt. I know a lot of the cool kids like to have a black shirt. Absolutely. It says Max Fun on it. That's something that you can wear just to generally announce what state of mind you're in. Yeah. And you don't have to worry about people figuring out that you listen to podcasts. That's a good – I would say that's a good quality of all of our shirts.

You don't want people to know that. They could reasonably be a shirt for something else besides just podcasts. Anyway, maxfundstore.com. This could be your one and only opportunity. Do not let it pass you by again. We'll be back in just a second on jordan jesse go it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse thorne america's radio sweetheart i'm jordan morris boy detective jordan can i take a moment to welcome in a guest?

Do you mind if I take a moment to welcome in a guest? You know what? I don't. I don't want to overstep my, you know. Dude, you doth protest too much, bro. Fucking take a minute, man. I'm chilling. I'm chilling.

Look, we have somebody here who's been doing the yeoman's work here at MaximumFun.org or in this case the yeowoman's work here at MaximumFun.org the yeoperson's work the yeoplay work eating the yogurts

and so on and so forth the yogurts oh my god that's great Mariel Reyes outgoing so on and so forth. The yogurts. Oh, my God. That's great. Mariel Reyes, outgoing MaximumFun.org intern. Welcome to the program, Mariel. Thanks for having me, guys.

Oh, it is a... You say outgoing because she's leaving. That's not a description of her personality. She is both... Yeah, I mean, not... I'm both outgoing and I'm also leaving, yeah. Yeah, she is both of those things. I'm blowing this popsicle stand. Mariel is the first foreigner I've ever let into my house.

Really? Yeah. It represents a big change for me. At first, I was uncomfortable. Because of the xenophobia. Sure. And, you know, frankly, I'm still uncomfortable, but moderately less so. Because you've checked her for knives.

Yeah, not to mention knits. I you've checked her for knives. Yeah. Not to mention knits. I was very concerned about knits. Knives and knits. I was also squatting over the toilet really strangely. Yeah. It's true. You aren't used to our American plumbing.

No, no. You're used to. Jordan, I want to welcome one more person onto the program. Is that okay? Yeah. Or is that one too many? No, no. I'm one more person onto the program. Is that okay? Yeah. Or is that one too many? No, no, I'm still chilling. Okay, good.

Jim Rayall, the master of Would You Rather. Welcome back to Jordan, Jesse Go. It's a pleasure to have you here, sir. Hey, guys, it's great to be back. Been too long. Oh, far too long. Been too long. Oh, is science going well in Santa Cruz, friend?

Yeah, science is popping in Santa Cruz. For those who might not know, Jim is a well in Santa Cruz, friend? Yeah, science is popping in Santa Cruz. For those who might not know, Jim is a scientist in Santa Cruz. Yeah. Which you could have easily gathered from what Jesse said. It's good. I'm glad that you brought everyone on board. I mean, Mariel's here. Mariel's never met Jim Ray, the master of Would You Rather.

Hi, Jim. Listen, if Mariel had met Jim Rayall, the master of Would You Rather, she wouldn't be living with a lady right now. She'd be in Santa Cruz with Jim. That's what happens every time a girl meets Jim. Sure. No matter what their interest is going in. Sure.

You think that Jim has the power to switch sexual preferences. Absolutely. He did it for me. With science. Yeah, with science. Jesse, I'm not going to let you get out of the door. Let's talk for a second about how we play Would You Rather here on Jordan, Jesse Go. Our friend Jim Rayall, the master of Would You Rather, will present us with two choices.

Two choices. They may be positive. They may be negative. It's our job to select between them. Now, if we have any confusions about those two choices, we can turn to Jim Ray Al. Because he is the master of Would You Rather, he can give us any details we may need in order to make our decision. This is a feature you might recognize from most other podcasts.

Yeah, at this point it seems like they've all got it going now. We invented it, though. We did. We certainly, there's no doubt that we invented playing Would You Rather. On a podcast. Tiny books sold at Urban Outfitters invented it. Yes. We invented stealing it to kill time on our podcast.

Right, exactly. Okay, but our, I think, dynamic and exciting innovation, winnovation, if you will. And when we're in Vegas, a sinnovation. What happens in Vegas? Am I right, people? Yeah. I don't know. I've never been.

Well. Lions. Something about lions. I've seen television commercials. Lions enter into it. You fuck the lions. Lions enter into it. You fuck the Lions.

Each of us will select our choice, make our final decision, and then we will turn to Jim Ray, the master of Would You Rather, to tell us whether we were correct or incorrect. Jim, what's our Would You Rather this week? Okay. Would you rather become an exceptional slam ball player or own a truck? Oh, man, that's why they call him the master. If there was any doubt in anyone's mind who was better at would you rather. Okay.

I think I'm not alone in not being entirely sure what slam ball is. Is that the one where is it like, is it sort of like basketball in a sort of American gladiators arena with trampolines?

Yes. Yes, it is. Okay, good. So this is a thing that I remember watching it on network television, like on a late Sunday morning maybe or late Saturday morning. Yeah, you were choosing between this and Xena. Exactly.

This was at a time where, yeah. Or something else with Bruce Campbell. Jordan, let's be clear. I'm not a nerd. I'm a jock. I'm watching Slam Ball. Jordan, let's be clear. I'm not a nerd. I'm a jock. I'm watching Slam Ball. Yeah, exactly. But I recently, is this still on TV?

I feel like maybe I saw it on Nickelodeon or something like that on an airplane. Are you thinking of Nickelodeon Guts? Yeah, Jesse, you might be thinking of Guts. Or are you thinking of the aggro crag? Yeah. You're thinking of climbing the aggro crag. Jim, is this still a televised event? It's actually still airing.

I think actually the Cartoon Network, I think, has picked it up. Okay. It's on the Cartoon Network. So let me ask you this question. Let's say I'm really good at playing slam ball. Does that mean that I can be a professional slam ball player? Yeah. Yeah, you can. Do you know how much I would make in the slam ball field?

You know, it's not really. I don't know if you could make a living on it as your full-time career. I think it would be something that you'd be doing in addition to other work. Sort of nights and weekends type of situation? Yeah. A weekend warrior. Now, Jim, here's my question. If I am a professional slam ball player,

do I have the physique of a professional slam ball player? For instance, I'm just going to say I'm not entirely pleased with the shape that I'm in right now. I'd like to be a little more muscular, a little less doughy. Do I have the characteristics of a slam ball player, which I would imagine are muscular legs, firm buttocks? I'm probably not washboard abs. You're probably not getting washboard abs playing slam ball. But your abs are certainly nicer than mine currently are.

Powerful boner. Yeah. Mighty boner. Do I have... Does my physique change if I pick the slam ball? Yeah, you'd have a... You'd be significantly upgraded, Jordan, if you were playing slam ball. Better, faster, stronger.

Exactly. Would I be required to participate in slam ball practicing or rehearsal? Would I have to install a slam tramp? I presume it's called a slam tramp. No, I don't think that that would happen. You'd be a pretty regular face at the slam ball training center. Okay. You have a membership card, a lifetime membership.

I actually think that's somewhere in Los Angeles, I think. Okay. Okay, excellent. So, in other words, so basically to summarize about the slam ball, we'd be making money from it but probably not a full-time living. And we'd be looking pretty athletic like a professional slam ball player um mirio do you have any concerns about slam ball yeah um if you're a exceptional slam ball player and um oh you're screaming it's okay all right um well you're is that a sport that's big enough that if you became like that awesome, would your photo be on a box of Wheaties or a bag of cereal on the bottom shelf?

Let me ask you this question. Slam ball is something that really exists already. Right. So you're asking, would you be like the Mark Spitz of slam ball, where you would be like bringing it up to a new level of public because you're just that amazing then you get the notoriety for that or not no no you would not be revolutionizing the the sport you'd be another player and if you know you wouldn't there's there's no guarantee that you're going to be the top player but you're just going to have the skill

to be able to compete in the slam ball sport. Okay. Let me ask you this question. Is it a late model truck? No, it's whatever kind of truck you want, really. I mean, it's not like a big rig truck, but it's a truck with a bed. Is this limited to trucks that exist, or can I create a fantasy truck? No fantasy truck.

Okay. No fantasy truck. Okay. When you say truck, does that solely mean pickup truck, or what about a cargo van? For example, a Dodge Sprinter or a Ford Transit Connect. No, doesn't work. So I cannot... So pickup only. I cannot have a Ford Transit Connect.

Sorry. Is there any way I could have a Ford Transit Connect or a Dodge Sprinter? You can buy it with your slam ball winning. In the other scenario. Muriel, are you a truck driver? What kind of cars do you typically own? I'm a New Yorker. I don't drive.

Oh, so you're a no car. But my question is, does a monster truck still count as a truck? Oh, yeah. Can we get a Bigfoot? Well, if it's got a flatbed, sure. It's got a bed. It looks like a truck. It's just got giant wheels.

Okay, that's interesting, because that might be fun to drive a Bigfoot. Sure. Yeah, I know. Is that even street legal, though? No. Probably not. But frankly, Merrill, you don't care. I know for a fact that you have a learner's permit and you have driven to work with only a learner's permit with no one in the passenger seat when your girlfriend was out of town.

Yeah. Yeah, I did. No police officer. But I can have – could I have like a – They do. They constantly monitor what they call podcast chatter in the police department. Could I have a – could I have like a really nice truck? Like what about one of those Lincoln pickup trucks?

Could I have one of those? I don't think I've seen a Lincoln pickup truck. Yeah, sure. Okay. That's a big point for me. I mean, look. Look. This isn't – I mean, it's not just going to be that, you know, that you can just magically wish for, you know, this, this, you know, super expensive

truck and you can have anything that you want. Uh, you know, we're, we're thinking, you know, something that's, that's not going to break the, break the bank. And this has to be something that you could, you know, uh, in, in theory actually own in your, in your real life. You know, Jim, the Dodge Sprinter and Ford Transit Connect are surprisingly affordable. Because they were failures? I just really hung up on the idea of having a European-style cargo van. I think I'm ready. I think I'm ready. Okay. Do you have any more questions, Mariel, for Jim Rayall, the master of Would You Rather? I think I'm ready.

Okay. Well, Jordan, why don't we start with you? Okay. I mean, I think slam ball is the way to go on this one. I don't have much use for a truck in my day-to-day. I always thought it's a little bit obnoxious when someone owns a truck but doesn't have a truck lifestyle wow i hadn't thought of that yeah yeah so i mean i'm just gonna be going was it obnoxious when i had an el camino that was pretty cool okay that's what i thought i thought

it was pretty sweet uh no that was good um yeah so and yeah I like the idea of having the slam ball physique. And I also kind of like the idea that the slam ball thing isn't full time, that I still can pursue other interests but just – In contrast to the trunk. Yeah, right, exactly, which is going to monopolize all of my time. Right. So yeah, no, I think I like the idea of slam ball a lot. I'm looking over at the chat. We're streaming this live on Ustream, announced it on the Twitter,

and there's a strong majority for slam ball right now. Mariel, which direction are you going? That's because they're right. It's slam ball all the way. That's because they're correct. Yes. Really? It's slam ball?

Why are you so confident that it's slam ball? Well, because I obviously can't drive this truck legally yet. And, yeah, also the physique sounds awesome. And it's more interesting to me to have the weird thing about you, like being a super awesome slam ball player, than just having a truck. You can have a truck any other time. Yeah. Oh, man.

See, I hadn't thought about this having a truck makes you kind of a dick thing. Does it a little bit. Very much. Here's my concern. My concern, honestly, is that if I take up slam ball, I'm already, if you'll pardon the expression, slammed between the Sound of Young America, Jordan Jesse Go, you know, lovemaking. Heartbreaking. All the different stuff that I do in my day-to-day life. You know, lovemaking. Heartbreaking. All the different stuff that I do in my day-to-day life. I'm concerned that if I added professional slam ball to this, I'd have to be traveling.

You know, guys, I get migraine headaches a lot when I travel. You know, I just went to Sundance and got three migraines. Sarah, when you're with the slam ball circuit, you're going to Tampa. You're going to Butte. Right. And these are migraine-intensive towns. See, but don't you think that if you had the awesome sport physique, that would be a thing that your wellness will kind of counteract the migraines?

No, I honestly don't think so. Now, would I be excited to meet Bo Jackson, who I can only presume is the slam ball color commentator? Yes, I would. Bo knows slam ball. Sure. And Bo knows Jack Link's spicy beef jerky. Given the fact that— Bo Jackson doing a little plug there.

Okay, cool. Given the fact that Jim Ray, the master of Would You Rather, has said that we could have a truck that was reasonable to our lifestyle. So, for example, I could have one of those Honda pickup trucks that's like a four-door and has a covered bed. It's sort of like – I mean, frankly, it's sort of like a pickup truck for like a friendly 38-year-old lesbian more than anything else or like a suburban dad. But, Frank, I'm not that far from either of those things. And so I'm going to go truck. You know what I mean?

At the end of the day, I don't think I would enjoy spending that much time playing slam ball, although I would love to get a free slam tramp. Jim, you're the master of would you rather. Who was correct and who was incorrect? Well, the correct answer was owning a truck. What? Yes. Bullshit.

That's total bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. No need to sing. No need to taunt us with the official slam ball thing. Jim, why? Yeah, let's hear it. Why was I correct?

Well, look, now, George, you brought up some good points, but one thing that you failed to recognize is that while you'd be earning sort of part-time type money, while you'd be earning sort of part-time type money, you'd have a lot of full-time type work to be able to maintain that level of competition. And also, slam ball's not even a real sport. Good point. Good point. Oh, man. Well, I'm proud to say that I'm correct once again,

as per usual. Mariel, thank you so much for helping us play Would You Rather. Thanks for having me, guys. And thank you for editing a bunch of Jordan Jesse goes and for your months and months of effort on behalf of MaximumFun.org. We do it out of love. Thank you, Mariel. And Jim Ray, thanks for being not only the master of Would You Rather, but one of the best guys in town. Guys, thanks a lot.

And hey, before I go, I got a question. Sure. I was wondering if you guys keep track of who wins and who loses in Would You Rather, because I'd like to see those all-time stats. Well, I would love to throw that out to the community. I'm sure that some people would be happy to make a thread on our forum and start pointing out the Would You Rathers and who got it right and who got it wrong, because I'm willing to put some money on me being ahead of Jordan jordan on this thing yeah no i think i'm i've i mean

we've been doing this since college and i think i've i've i've been the perpetual would you rather loser so i'm i wouldn't be surprised if the outcome was not in my favor but i still would like to see it i'd like to see a nice pie graph so we'll put that out there i'm sure that if we started a thread in the forum jordan i think what would happen is people would say, here's the date of a show, here's who won and who lost, and then, you know, that way one person doesn't have to do all the work. I think we could get this thing done. Sure.

I'm looking over at the chat room. I think people are ready to go. I think people are talking about doing it on JJGo.org. Do it, Internet. Yeah. Okay, well, Jim... Way to go, Internet. Jim, we'll talk to you later, pal. Thanks for... Bye, Jim. Nice meeting you. Thanks for coming on the show. A lot of fun. Bye.

We'll be back in just a second with more of Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. You know, life is full of choices, and the moral gray area presented by these choices can be confusing. Luckily, we've got a compass to show us the way. It's Jesse Thorne with Hang It Up and Keep It Up. Hang it up.

Potholes. Next time, you better be careful because I'm gonna get out of my car and kick your ass hang it up pothole palm tree that's not a tree that's a bush on a stick hang it up palm tree freeways take the toll road it's faster hang it up freeways state of the union applause oh is that what you're bringing to the table, Congress? Applauding and not applauding? Interrupting the president anytime he says anything by either applauding or not applauding? How about this? Try this on for size.

Listening carefully and applauding when you get excited and feel the need to applause. What happened to that? Hang it up, State of the Union applause. Olympic athletes. I get it. You're super athletic. Give me a break. Hang it up, Olympic athletes. Sunrise. I see what you're going for, but you're just too early.

Hang it up, sunrise. Sunrise. Keep it up. Photosynthesis. Photosynthesis turns the sun's rays into energy for plants. That's where pineapples come from, folks. Keep it up, photosynthesis. Rebar.

Way to give concrete a helping hand. Keep it up, rebar. Cashmere. I think it should be called super goat wool because it is fucking super. Keep it up, cashmere. Gooseneck lamp. A gooseneck lamp is one of the best styles of lamp because you can point it wherever you please.

Keep it up, gooseneck lamp. Hey, other guy on the motorcycle. Let's chat. We'll use our motorcycle helmet walkie-talkie. Keep it up, motorcycle helmet walkie-talkie. Holy shit, you can fly. Keep it up, motorcycle helmet walkie-talkie. Bird. Holy shit, you can fly. Keep it up, bird. That's been Hang It Up and Keep It Up.

Now go take on the day. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. That's Dr. Laura's catchphrase. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Moore's, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Moore's boy detective. It's been a fun show, huh? Hasn't it, though?

You know, it's good. This week, we're featured in the iTunes directory. Got a nice big graphic up top there. Hey! And it's always nice to really hit the ground running on those weeks with a show that is almost contentless. Sure. We had a Would You Rather.

Jim Ray All and Mariel stepped in here to save our rears with a nice, solid Would You Rather. But between then and now, nothing else happened. There has been no other content on the show besides that Would You Rather. And I'm okay with that because ultimately when you're featured in itunes what you want to do is make sure that nobody comes too easily into the fold yeah you don't want to just welcome you know the general listening public

yeah then things get off the rails yeah you don't look let's say let's say we're featured in itunes this week if they the first one they download is one of paul f tompkins with greg barrett one of these super hilarious comedy stars then they're just going to be like oh all every week the show is so funny when actually our show is sort of i think of our show is almost a challenge to funniness. Yeah, we want to exclude all but the easiest to entertain. Yeah, we're essentially, like, let's say funniness is a gentleman's parts. They're covered in hair.

We're trying to pull hairs out of the parts of funniness. Does that make sense? Absolutely. It's sort of like the Hurt Locker. Yeah. Have you seen the movie The Hurt Locker? I haven't. Okay, well.

I have not seen it. I'll have to find another analogy. Yeah. It's like Jurassic Park 4. Right, okay. The raptors can fly airplanes. Yes. Jordan, a quick check-in.

Hat contest continues apace. Yes, absolutely. Let's give people a little window into the hat contest. We're looking for photographs of people wearing hats. You send them in, you win prizes. We're looking for the most hats on one person. That's the grand prize. But we will also be issuing prizes

based on, say, sexiest hat, most dynamic hat, loudest hat, quietest hat, jitteriest hat. Sure. Here's some categories, but, you know, if you want to enter your hat into its own category, just send us the picture of the hat and the category to which you think it applies, and we'll consider it. It's jjgoe at maximumfun.org is the email address at which you can reach us.

If something outstanding happens to you, 206-984-4FUN, the number to call. No calls this week. My apologies. We're having some more technical difficulties. And gosh, yeah, I think you're going to start a hack contest thread on the forum. Absolutely. As the president of the hack contest. And we're just going to – this is going to be amazing.

Forage ahead. Yeah. And we got those new t-shirts at maxfundstore.com, and tickets are selling fast for MaxFunCon. Gosh, thanks to everyone who listened live in the chat room and on the live stream this week. If you want to catch a future live stream, subscribe to my Twitter. It's Young American, and you will be subject to my prattlings and the very rare announcement of a live stream of Jordan Jesse Go.

Or possibly maybe even one day the sound of Young America. We'll see. I guess that's about it. We'll see you next time right here on Jordan Jesse Go. Bye.