Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 129: World Champion Dave Hill with Dave Hill and Dave Hill

Episode Date: April 5, 2010

Comedian Dave Hill (from New York) is our guest on this week's show.  We talk about Lebowskifest and comedian Dave Hill (from LA) stops by for a Dave Hill-off.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys, and take off your shoes and socks and run you. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. And I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. And this is... Jordan, Jesse, Go! Icicles, tricycles, ice cream, candy, lollipops, popsicles, licorice sticks, Salmon, friendly, maggoty, edgy, pretty, lovely, Jesse, go.

We're joined by East Coast Dave Hill and West Coast Dave Hill to find out who is the world's champion Dave Hill. Let's go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. There are momentous episodes of jordan jesse go and then there are momentous episodes of jordan jesse go jordan uh i don't think you i don't think you drew the distinction in your vocal quality enough it just sounded like there are momentous episodes and then there are momentous episodes what do you think about this just to draw the line okay there are momentous episodes, and then there are momentous episodes. What do you think about this? Just to draw the line.

There are momentous episodes of Jordan, Jesse, go, and then there are me-o-me-entous episodes of Jordan, Jesse, go. I think you've drawn the line perfectly. Thanks. I think that's clearer. I finally understand. You know, sometimes, usually when we have a guest on Jordan, Jesse, go, you're talking about a guest from, I don't know, Los Angeles or maybe, you know.

The surrounding counties. San Bernardino. Sure. Certainly, or Tarzana. The Los Angeles region. But sometimes a guest is so special that we fly them in, put them up. Deluxe accommodations. Bring them in here for the recording of this, what is sure to be the greatest podcast in the history of this program

Full service brunch Yeah Mr. Dave Hill Hi Dave, welcome to the program Thank you Thank you for having me I was trying not to talk until you said my name

You did a good job I realize I grunted a couple times There were a couple little pipe ups But you know what, that's fine You can cut that out In post Oh, in post I'll just fix it in post Oh can cut that out in post. Oh, in post. I'll just fix it in post.

Oh, we do everything in post. Good, good. The whole thing. All the laughs are added in post, all the punchlines. Good. So if you come up with a good setup, the thing to do is just say the setup and don't feel any pressure to have to have a punchline to the setup. You'll make that punchline. We'll put it in, yeah.

Well, we got a team of writers. We got a crack team of writers. Of course, we got Bruce Valanche. Oh team of writers of course we got bruce valanche oh wow ready for action um who else are we have we hired anybody else are you all of bruce valanche's kids right who are as funny as him the valanche family so you just say something like uh you know i hear tiger woods took a cruise recently. And then... You just leave it. Do not.

Something, something, something. Don't say anything. You'll figure it out. You'll do a collage using words that I say in the next five hours. Yeah, sort of like how Roger Ebert got that custom robot voice that sounds like his voice. You guys know about this? I heard he couldn't speak,

but I didn't know things had gotten that far that he got the voice. So he was unable to speak because he's had these throat surgeries that robbed him of his ability to speak. But this Scottish company, I believe, custom built a voice synthesizer for his voice synthesis software out of DVD commentary tracks. Oh, my gosh. So they used some combination of math, computers, and DVD commentary tracks to create a robotic Roger Ebert voice. So when he speaks, he's speaking in his voice, essentially. It's like a robot version of his voice.

But actual audio of him saying these words. They analyze him saying the words and then teach that to the robot. So it's a little unsettling, frankly. That seems awful. Because I think I would... I saw it on Oprah. Like Stephen Hawking.

This is the thing. Like Stephen Hawking, a british man has like an american accent on his robot robot which that would mess with my head or or i would think like let's have a cool totally different accent well the thing is like an accent switching button yeah like today i'm gonna be french howdy y'all. Yeah. See, that would be then, you know, then I would say bring on, you know. Just a series of buttons that say French, British, cowpoke. Yeah. You know, that kind of thing.

Yeah, yeah. Super Jew-y. Super Jew-y. Like sort of like an elderly Yiddish as a first language Jew. Yeah. Oh, Dave, so since we are going to do this kind of, you know, collage with your voice, I do want to use that Tiger Woods joke. So would you say slut at some point?

Oh, yeah. Thank you. I haven't been a big slut this week. All I need. That's all I need. That's absolutely all we need. I did something really weird last night. My childhood best friend, Peter Fraunfelder.

That's made up. You guys know Peter Fraunfelder. Yeah, that's a character from The Wonder Years, Jesse. It's not a real thing. So my childhood best friend, Peter Fraunfelder, plays in this San Francisco-based band called Trainwreck Riders. Now, they play sort of like a country rock, sort of like a loud country music type of deal.

And a great band, fantastic band. But something that I didn't know was that apparently once a year on Halloween, they do a show as Patty and the Po' Boys, which is a Creedence Clearwater Revival cover band. And that's great, too. You know, the world needs more Creedence Clearwater Revival cover bands. I'll say. And apparently, the organizers of the Lebowski Fest were asking around as to who are the best people to play Creedence,

and the folks at San Francisco's bottom of the hill club recommended my friend's band, Trainwreck Riders, in their guise as Creedence Clearwater Revival cover band. But couldn't the question... I'm sorry, I'm interrupting you. No, go ahead. Couldn't the question just as easily have been instead of...

What was the question? The question was, who plays good Creedence? The question could have been, who plays Creedence? And they may have gotten the job anyway. Just because it's tough these days to find a band. Yeah, and I'm not knocking. I mean, I love Creedence. I don't understand why you hate Creedence, though.

Okay. No, I love them. I think I don't understand why they're not still out there. Death? Are they dead? I mean, I understand John Fogerty is something. He didn't want to play with the other guys but i would think take that kitty on the town my friend oh uh the uh breakfast burritos are ready

i wonder if you could even hear that yeah for those of you at home there was a slight beeping yeah um so so they got this gig. You know, this is a mid-level band. Like, they have a record contract, but it's with a relatively small indie label. A shitty record label. And, you know, they tour regularly. You know, they play like a Café du Nord in San Francisco. You know, a couple hundred people come.

And Lebowski Fest is at the will turn here in los angeles it's 2 000 people all there to see the big lebowski so this was actually the biggest gig of their lives in the guise of this band that they've been for three public performances did they feel like was there i would just try and slip in a couple of my originals in there. The rule was no originals. It had to be all Creedence. I think that's fair. Because that's the whole thing. Like the bands, you know, like being a rocker myself,

bands are like, yeah, we play covers, and then we slip in some originals. And we're thinking that the crowd is going to be like, what was that song? But the crowd's never like, what was that song? Yeah, they just assume it was more of what the fuck was that? They're like, that's that song? But the crowd's never like, what was that song? Yeah, they just assume it was more of what the fuck was that? They're like, that's the shittiest Creedence song I've ever heard. Get back to Creedence.

Their idea of being a rebellious Creedence cover band, and I had this conversation with my buddy Pete at dinner before the show, was he's like, we're not going to sing any of that fake Southern shit. No Born on the Bayou. That was his Southern shit. No Born on the Bayou. That was his one rule. No Born on the Bayou. Well, because Creedence are from El Cerrito, California. Yeah.

In the East Bay of California. They sing with a fake Southern accent. And some of their songs have fake Southern content. But what I don't know, I was surprised when he said that. But they did play all of the other famous creedon songs most of which are fake southern songs yeah we just got you know you gotta you gotta set a standard for yourself and you gotta stick to it even if it's totally arbitrary um just like he will not not go quietly the ccr cover band i'm a man of standards it was it was really it was a

really intense yeah either of you guys ever been to this Lebowski Fest? I have I haven't and I'm often Tempted to go loving the Lebowski as I do Who doesn't love Lebowski? Only assholes don't love Lebowski But also assholes love Lebowski So that's kind of my deal

I'm a little afraid it might ruin it for me But what's been your experience, Dave? Well, I went one time just because my friend Phil Costello, well, someone similar, he at the time had a heavy metal tribute to Air Supply called Hair Supply. And they played at the Lebowski Fest at the Knitting Factory in New York a few years ago, and I went for reasons I can't remember, really. I think maybe just for something to do.

But I feel like I was there for some higher purpose. But I may not have been. To teach them about Jesus. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't know if I was performing. Maybe I performed on the show. I don't know.

I don't remember. It really is. I mean, I was standing in the I don't remember. It really is. I mean, I was standing in the line to get in. The line to get in went all the way around the corner of the whole block of the Wiltern. It was, you know, this huge monstrous line. And looking at this, and it's weird. Like, there's some people in full-on costumes. Some people in full-on costumes.

There were some people dressed as like the bowling pin women from the dream sequence where it's like a point-of-view shot of a bowling ball and it's knocking over bowling pins. There were some really elaborate, intense costumes. But then I feel like there was also just a lot of dudes just wearing a bathrobe. Like it got to be 7 o'clock p.m. They were like, shit, I'm still wearing my bathrobe, and I'm supposed to be going out tonight. And then their roommate was like, fuck it, just wear your bathrobe. It's Lebowski Fest.

But wouldn't that be almost like that's the heart of, then they're truly, truly like they're living it. Yeah, I mean, it's even in the intro. The dude was a lazy man. The guy who inspired the dude is this guy named Jeff Dowd, if I remember correctly. And he's sort of like he's sort of like a Hollywood outsider figure, insider outsider. Like I think he's like like, I don't know, he produced Airwolf or something like that.

He has some credit. I don't know what it is. He's just coasting off that Airwolf money. Exactly. And he was an acquaintance of the Coen brothers, and he's there at Lebowski Fest. So they open the show. It's in this theater, right?

It's not really like a party type venue like it's a theater with seats because they're going to show the movie so there's they open the show with the two lebowski fest guys who were on the sound of young america a long time ago when they first for the first lebowski fest i think they were on the sound of young america just very very nice guys um clear-headed bright eyes and uh they bring out jeff dowd the dude well first first they bring out one of the ralphs with the checkout lady at the ralphs where he's buying the half and half yeah yeah isn't that kind of the thing with lebowski fest is just like their special guests are all the most minor players in the movie and then they they brought in julian personally

waiting for all about steve to uh really take off so i can uh so i can go in front of those throngs you were in the movie all about steve i was who did you i you know i read for a role in that film oh really maybe you got that i might have uh stoner at a protest no no i'm sorry but i look forward to seeing you in that movie uh i mean you haven't already i could not bring you bring myself to see it after I did not end up being in the movie. Despite the fact that it's star one in Oscar for best actress. Yeah. Oh, I'm not proud of not having seen it.

I realize, you know. You're just like left out when people are talking about it at parties. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So Jeff, the dude dude dowd comes out this guy first of all he comes out to uh see what condition my condition is in and he comes through the crowd of the you know just got back to see what condition my condition was in and he's a nice voice he's thank you he's he's really fat and dumpy and he's coming it's not really fat he's really dumpy and he's coming through the crowd and he's like he's

like doing like double points at like chicks yeah it's like doing double points and like sort of dancing and then sort of pretending to sing along with the song. And it's so weird because most people, even at Lebowski Fest, just feel uncomfortable because of this. Like there's a big round of applause when they introduce him. But then when he starts doing an act, people are like, whoa, no, no, you weren't supposed to do an act. You were just supposed to come up and we were all give you a round of applause. We just want to laugh at you. We'd shake your hand later. Yeah.

We're not here to laugh with you. Yeah. We want to laugh at you. And there's, but it's weird because the people are made uncomfortable, including like the women who he's like putting his arm around and like pointing to while he lip syncs to this song. Sure. And I want to be clear when i say it was an act it was there was clearly no choreography or anything he just was enjoying his moment in the spotlight and then what's weird is there's all these people who are uncomfortable

but there's also maybe like four or five photographers at this thing and i think maybe they're press photographers you know like about lebowski fest in los angeles that's like a photo you can run in the feature section and so there's all these photographers with like flash bulbs crowding around him getting the because this is the biggest star there the guy who inspired the dude yeah so it was this nightmarish disconnect between this crowd that was obviously like almost physically uncomfortable at this show but then the photographers have to get their shot so they're like taking pictures of them as though he's a thing he gets up onto the stage and this man is one of the least coherent people i've ever heard talk in my life like just like three quarters of a, then one and a half new sentences, then six unconnected words.

You know what I mean? And at one point, they basically have to have the Sandman pull him off with the hook. Wow. One of the Lebowski Fest guys puts his arm around him and walks him off stage while he's still talking into the microphone. Shepherds him away. Do you think people were uncomfortable, though? Because it was almost like he was holding a mirror up to society they didn't like what they saw in themselves i think that's entirely possible i'm not trying to put too fine a point on it here dave

but i feel like there definitely were some people in that crowd who had fallen in love with the filmic version of the dude yeah one that's stylized perfectly by the combination of jeff bridges and the coen brothers uh and then realizing what that was in the context of real life were being forced to re-evaluate the choices that they'd made for themselves yeah that's it yeah it was it was absolutely terrifying. At one point when my friend's band went on next and did maybe like a... Peter Fraunfelder's band. Peter Fraunfelder. Trainwreck Riders. Great band. Worth looking up.

Yeah, I should look them up. So when Pete's band went on, they did five or six songs. Then they did Proud Mary. And the dude came out and started singing it with them. This was clearly not planned. They were terrified at this. The dude's like, I'm going to stoke everybody out. Yeah.

Like, here we go. I'm going to sing Proud Mary with them. But what was really bizarre was once the dude was out there, and they were obviously uncomfortable, like they just kind of wanted to get a little bit away from him then the true piece de resistance was that

Julianne Moore's body double from the film came out and took the other microphone from the lead guitarist and started singing the backup parts with him she had been introduced though she had been introduced, though. She had been introduced.

Okay, so this wasn't a random... But she was, I mean, she had been introduced as Julianne Moore's body double from the film. Wow. Now, do these people travel from town to town on the tour? Oh, gosh. Or do they just go home that night and cry? Oh, gosh. Or do they just go home that night and cry?

Julianne Moore's body double was sort of like a – she was a real kind of Venice Beach 40-year-old pretty lady that does a lot of yoga and is just barely hanging on to an acting career for the past 20 years. You know what I mean? She was 10,000 times that. Like a pretty lady in, you know, 40, 45-ish, looked good for age, very healthy, clearly was like a teen beauty queen or something, just holding on by her fingernails

and was careful to mention that she had a brief on-screen moment while the dude was riding around on the flying carpet. Wow. But she came out to sing, and then they left at the end of Proud Mary. And to his eternal credit, the lead guitarist for the band at the conclusion of Proud Mary just leaned into the microphone and said, Well, I don't think anybody was expecting that. That's pretty good. But it was really, but here's the thing.

Here's my question about the Lebowski Fest for you. So there were varying levels of commitment to this ideal at the Lebowski Fest. There's people in full-on dude costumes, including a couple ladies I saw in full-on dude costumes there's it sounds a little hot i could get behind that it was neat it was fun it was fun there were people and there were lots of a fair number of people in full-on costumes they showed a slideshow of past lebowski fests there were lots of walters lots of other shit you know lots of jesus's lots of camel fuckers there were some camel fuckers. Sure. Just a variety of different costumes.

But then there was also a lot of people just wearing a big Lebowski T-shirt. In the slideshow? No, at the Lebowski Fest. Like, I would say 20% of people were there in costume. I would say 30% were wearing a Big Lebowski t-shirt. You know, I actually just, I came here, I got off the plane from San Francisco because I was at WonderCon, that is San Francisco's comic convention, and it sounds like the ratio of that is the same at a comic book convention.

Dave, I've seen you at a comic convention. I've been to more comic book conventions, more comic, well, comic cons than I ever would have guessed I would ever have attended. I've been to many, many of them. I intended to go to one. That one, you were totally cool going to one. Well, I went to one to make a video,

and because of that video, I'm now hired to go to other ones and make other videos. So I've been to many of them. You're modest, but you probably created the canonical I'm a guy going around interviewing crazy people at the comic book convention video. I mean, I guess people know those videos, yeah. Yeah, you did a great job of that. Thank you.

People will hire you to make the Slim Jims version. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I'm having to get some of that Slim Jims money. Sure. Yeah, I mean, this is something that I do for my regular job. So I'm kind of coasting on your back. Oh, so you were interviewing people. I was. I was doing goofy interviews, yeah.

Oh, man. Yeah. Taking money out of my family. I owe you eight bucks, Dave. Who were you doing it for? Fuel TV. Oh, of course. That makes sense.

But also by, in tandem, Verizon. Okay. Because Verizon kind of owns the whole shop now. Nice. Anyways, a droid was involved. I'm not proud of that. I should mention that this whole thing is brought to you by Cisco Telepresence. That's great.

Oh, yes. And now bringing you that thing for a long time now. That's their slogan. We love you long time. You know what I mean? I want to ask you, and I realize you're totally

running off, jumping off topic here, but you have a camera in the corner just trained. It's so hard to see that camera and not just start

masturbating. I just haven't, this is my reaction to a webcam. To a webcam. Our fans, our fans on the Ustream would love it.

Oh, people are watching right now. If I started masturbating furiously. We occasionally will livestream. Whoa, why'd you add the caveat furiously? He can masturbate any way he wants to, Jesse. Be a good host. I don't want him to masturbate laconically. He knows me well enough.

I mean, I don't think you know me in that way that I'm aware of. I've seen you masturbate. Sure. Anyone who's been around. I mean, we've met each other a couple times. We've talked at parties and stuff like that.

Yeah, and I've masturbated at those parties. Sure. It was a really fun party. Yeah. Have you guys gone on chat roulette? No. This is an internet phenomenon where you randomly are connected to video chat with someone, correct? Yeah, you're basically, you log on and it's like you're Skyping with someone or Gchat or whatever with a random person. And then they or you can choose to move on to the next random person that comes up.

can choose to move on to the next random person that comes up. But easily, 10% or 20%, depending on what time of day you're on, is just some guy with his cock out. And so I get it. And at first I was like, you know, because you think, you know, I think most guys are on there thinking, I'm going to see some hot chick, but it's all guys looking at other guys and moving on. Yeah, I imagine that with that ratio, it seems like more often than you would like,

your dick's out and it's ready to go, and then you chat roulette another dick that's out and ready to go. It seems like that would be... I think that's what happens. But what I do is I just... Because you type in and as soon as I get the guy with the... I used to be... Not that I'm on it terribly often, but, you know, I've been on it.

I've tested the test it out. Sure. And for hours at a time. You just got to see what kind of dicks you can see on there. Yeah. But I go, what I do, instead of just clicking off it, which is, you know, my impulse, get that dick out of my face. Now I just start writing, come, come, come.

With a bunch of exclamation points. And it really just psychs them out. Very quick. You should put on a monster mask. I just go fully in the other direction. Yeah. Well, I don't feel like we shouldn't, we shouldn't try and follow that up. We'll be back in just a second

with more of Jordan Jesse Go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, radio sweetheart. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. I'm Dave Hill. Think of a nickname. You can do it. You don't have to do it right now. You can just do it later. The new Hollywood It Girl. Yeah, I like it. Hollywood's It Girl, Dave Hill.

Yeah. That's great. Oh, man. Zooey Deschanel's going to be pissed. She's going to be steamed. Gun That's great. Oh, man. Zooey Deschanel is going to be pissed. She's going to be steamed. Gunning for you. Oh, man. What's that woman called that's on Big Love?

She used to be the New York It Girl. Chloe Sevigny. Chloe Sevigny. Did you guys see that Chloe Sevigny controversy on the internet? No. I saw when she sucks Vincent Gallo's penis in Brown Bunny. That seemed controversial. Was there another one?

There was a new one. What? We can talk about that. We don't want to make the whole show about dicks. No, but isn't everything about dicks? At the end of the day, point taken. Deep enough. Sure.

So Chloe Sevigny was being interviewed by one of the AV Club guys, and she said that she thought the last season of Big Love was just awful. She said it got super telenovela-y, didn't it? And she went on to say what was wrong with the last season of Big Love in this interview. And the AV Club, they basically just transcribe their interviews they don't really it's not a lot of paring down when they do these interviews you know they talk to somebody for 20 minutes transcribe it put it up on the internet and um so the hbo said that they were sorry that the av club had uh misquoted her or taken her quote out of context.

And she said, yeah, she was really tired, and they took her quote out of context. And so the AV Club just put up the tape recording of that part of the interview. Oh, really? Oh, that's good. Yeah. And then HBO, the writers on the show were like, Chloe, your character gets hit by a truck in the next episode. A lot.

It's like, sorry, Chloe Sevigny, but if you say that, that's what will happen. Yeah. Like, she's been a famous person for a long time. Like, does she think that she can just say that the show she's on is awful? But, you know, it's pretty, I don't know that that's necessarily a given, though. I think that it's really cool that that happened, because I'm sure that HBO is something that buys banner ads on The Onion. It seems like that's unusually brave and principled

for them to not just take it down. Oh, it was totally badass. God bless the AP Club. They don't take any shit from Chloe Sevigny, from fashion's it girl, Chloe Sevigny. I don't know. I'm tired of her bullshit. We were talking just at the break about an interview that I did with metal god Rob Halford.

Sure. In fact, I think his press releases may refer to him specifically in each case as metal god Rob Halford. Rightfully so. I think he's got that trademarked or something. Rob Halford is the front man of the band Judas Priest, the once and present front man of the band Judas Priest. Yeah, but you're right. He did leave for a time. He was gone for a time.

And he also, and they're well known for their songs like Hell Bent for Leather. And Now to the Highway. Yeah, lots of... Breaking the Law. Love Bites. Lots of sweet rock and roll songs. And he came out as gay in what, like the mid to late 90s? Yeah.

Something like that. And I don't know, my experience with him, you said that you had had an experience with him. So I want to know what your experience with him was before I talk about it. Well, it was the first album that they, Tim Ripper Owens from Akron, Ohio, replaced him briefly. Wasn't he like the front man of a Judas Priest cover band or something? Yeah, he was the front man, I believe, for a band called British Steel in Ohio

that I tried to hire for my friend's bachelor party in what would have gone on to be one of the greatest things that ever happened. But it was too expensive. We were just kids. Couldn't afford it. Well, kids shouldn't be getting married anyway. No, exactly.

What were you looking at? $10,000? No, I think it was just like $1,000. But at the time, now it's like I would just hire that. Now that you've had your own show on the Mojo HD network. Yeah, you know now it's like you know i would i would right i mean now that you've had your own show on the mojo hd network yeah i mean now that's like like why did you even bring up a thousand dollars which by the way is that is that still available on hulu it is on hulu i think people should watch it i really enjoyed it i watched the whole thing

when you were on the san diego america i thought it was a hoot oh thank you so much and it's on in the united kingdom right now really yeah or it was i don't know okay. And it's on in the United Kingdom right now. Really? Yeah, or it was. I don't know. Okay. I mean, it was on TV there. We're getting too far away from Tim Ripperow. Yeah, let's focus. The inspiration for the Mark Wahlberg film Rockstar.

Yeah. And, oh, so, yeah, Rob Halford came back, and they did the, I guess they've done a couple albums with him, at least, since he's been back. But it was the first album back, you know. albums with him at least since he's been back but it was the first album back you know and at the time i was writing this column for blender magazine and usually i would just do this thing over the phone with like rock stars and um and then jesus priest was in town they're like we want the journalists all to come to this listening party and you know and interview the bands there and i was like well of course you're a big metal fan yeah yeah i live it i live it so i was like people can probably tell from your tone of voice yeah exactly do you uh and again this is kind of off this is a little

off track and maybe we can even come back to this but something i'm interested in that i'd like to talk to a metal fan about is the uh kind of relentless and specific categorization of kinds of metal. Yeah. Is that something you're interested in? Is there like a specific kind of metal that you like? Well, yeah, but I'm pretty much divided between like pussy metal and non-pussy metal. Okay. And most of it is pussy metal.

What are some examples of pussy metal? Oh, gosh. I mean, I could go on. I couldn't even tell you because I dismissed them so quickly. Sure. And I would say almost every metal band that formed after 1990, I would say, is a pussy metal band. Oh, interesting. So with a few exceptions, but I like more traditional, true metal.

Like a Judas Priest? Yeah, and stuff that's inspired by that. Like, you know, inspired by British heavy metal, or is actually British heavy metal. I like Norwegian black metal. Some of the bands, you know, Dark Throne and Mayhem I like. That's terrifying. That's a little bit terrifying.

Well, then, you know, I love there's a band called Pentagram from the 70s, but they're still together today, and they're one of the greatest bands of all time, even metal or beyond. And they're, yeah, I don't know. And I like a lot of, like, doom bands and stone, answering your question, the kinds that I like. The kinds that I like, you know, doom, metal, stoner metal, stoner rock.

Okay, can we please get back to Rob Halford? Anyway, back to Rob Halford. Okay, Rob Halford. So, back to Rob Halford. Okay, Rob Halford. So you're at a listening party. Yeah, I'm at a listening party. I walk in, and it's like all these journalists, and it's in this room. It's in basically a mixing room of a studio,

and they're cranking this new album. And I was a little late, and I walk in, and Rob Halford gave me the knowing glance of, I'm Rob Halford, and you just looked at me. And I deigned to look back at you and be like, fuck yeah, I'm Rob Halford. And I was thrilled at that transaction. And then I'm sitting there, and there's a spread of bagels and stuff. And it was like 10 o'clock in the morning or something.

And we're listening to the album ridiculously loud. But if it's 10 o'clock in the morning, and you're about a metal situation you're gonna want bagels yeah yeah you want a little nosh yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly and like fruit salad and uh so did they have locks or they did yeah it was very nice i wasn't particularly hungry um i was i was hungry for metal is really important to metal's lachime core core subculture. Yeah, exactly. So we listened to the whole album really loud, and they kept saying, like, it's not loud enough. I'm like, this is insanely loud.

And I'm not like, I mean, I'm familiar with, you know, I rock out. You have your own rock and roll band. Yeah, I rock. So I think I can handle some volume. When you say that, to me, I'm fidgety, but it seems like it would be difficult to just sit down and listen to an entire album, a 40-minute album. Just sit and have the look on your face like, I'm listening because everyone who made it is standing around. Yeah, exactly. You had to be like, I'm listening because everyone who made it is standing around. Yeah, exactly. You had to be like, oh, yeah, yeah.

And then I realized that K.K. Downing had been standing next to me the entire time, but he had had his hair straightened and looked like an old woman. But I was thrilled. I was like, oh, K.K. Donovan was right next to me. And so then I go. Then we had to wait. And, you know, either interviewing this guy or that guy. And I was only interviewing Rob Halford. So I'm waiting.

And then, you know, the publicist comes in. He's like, hey, I hope this story. I realize I've wound up this story quite a bit. And it may not pay off at all. No, the bagel thing was great. A lot of good sections to this story. Well, you're going not pay off at all. No, the bagel thing was great. A lot of good sections to this story. You're going to edit it.

It's going to be a really good story. Absolutely. So the post is like, hey Dave, you're going to interview Rob in a second. I'm like, alright, do I have time to go to the bathroom? I like where this is going. So I go in and it's this bathroom with like one urinal and one stall i need the stall and then i'm in there doing what one might

do sure and uh masturbating furiously right no um i mean i'm you know seated performance and i'm using it and then and then i see this uh these feet right next to me through the little wall and like taking you know taking a piss at the urinal and i just had this feeling i was like fuck that's rob halford that's that's the one guy i do not want to be uh to know about your bodily functions yeah that i'm just together you know and and so you know we both walk out and we're both there at the sink and he's just just sort of, hey, I'm Rob Halford, and I know you just took a shit. He didn't say that, but again, he just gave me the nod.

He said it to you with lasers from his eyes. Yeah, and then we both walked out of the bathroom, and then the publicist was like, oh, Rob, Dave, did you meet Dave? And he was just like, yeah. And so we didn't shake, understandably, because if he's anything like me, I think I assume that anyone that's just come from the bathroom is just covered in their own feces. Sure.

But it's not the sort of thing, like, you don't want to meet a metal god who's just, I mean, granted. Who's covered in feces? No, one who, you know, he's just seen me at my most compromised. Right. Not fully, but he knew. He knew I was just taking a big crap. When I had Rob Halford on The Sound of Young America, I think I probably got four emails from dudes in San Diego

talking about how Rob Halford hit on them. And I feel like... Good for Rob Halford. That's what, number one... Good for those dudes. Really good for those dudes, right? I feel like there is no other guy that, as a guy, you would more enjoy being hit on by, presuming that you were straight. Yeah, it's flattering, I would think.

Because he's a metal god, right? Yeah, he didn't hit on me, for the record. Okay. What was the interview with him like? Was it everything you hoped it would be? Well, I mean, this was for... The column was called... What was it called?

Do You Rock? I'm Covered in My Own Feces. Oh, I'm Covered in My Own Feces. And it was just like a series of rock and roll debauchery questions. And the thing of the column was asking sort of like largely the same questions to everyone and see how they answered so it wasn't like so sometimes when i did these interviews with various rock stars like i would you know sometimes john was someone like him or and i would sort of clearly steer the conversation like

into stuff that i just wanted to know but they were questions so different from the all the questions i had just been asking that they knew that i was just this was just for my own right like i remember personal edification yeah and like i was interviewing uh rick nielsen from cheap trick and and once and he was they're like one of my favorite bands of all time so i'm asking all these like you know have you ever been arrested have you ever trashed a hotel room like that sort of questions you know fairly stock questions and then then it's like

what do you prefer single coil pickups or humbuckers like would you like getting into like gear questions and he like knew that this was just me wanting to know just from my own you could be a dual columnist.

You could be running one column in Blender and one column in Guitar Player. If you're a freelancer, you'd sometimes double dip. Do you ever have this experience where you go to Borders Books and Music and you're looking at the music magazines? This doesn't count for you, Dave, because you actually know how to play a musical instrument. But're like looking at the music magazines and you're like oh avril lavigne i don't want to read about that one and then it's like sort of like oh it's like a tribute to alia i don't really want to read about that one but then someone you really looking at what year are

you looking for these magazines in yeah they still they still have tributes to alia in uh urban music they should though to be fair they should she was very pretty avril lavigne thing is just kind of Yeah, do you have a time machine? They still have tributes to Aaliyah in urban music magazines. They should, though. To be fair, they should. She was very pretty. Avril Lavigne thing is kind of incongruous. Okay, so I'm just trying to name some things that I don't care about that much, okay? So there's a couple of your Maxim music magazine or whatever it's called, and they just have things on the cover that you're not that interested in.

It's called Cock and Balls. The magazine. But then you see somebody that you really are into. And it's a cover story. But like, you know, like I'm like, oh, shit, there goes Questlove from the roots. And you're like, oh, I would love to learn about Questlove from the roots. So you grab that magazine and you look at it. But then you realize that it's like modern drumming magazine.

And like every question is not about it. and you look at it, but then you realize that it's like modern drumming magazine. And like every question is not about, it's just like every question is like, so when you use a tom, do you use it on the down or the up? Yeah, yeah, it's brutal. And you're just completely, you find yourself completely lost immediately? I mean, even as a musician, I find that a lot of the time that i have no interest but uh with something with guitars i i you gotta know about their pick i mean i mean stuff like that but but even then like you know within reason i don't want to know about like what compressor they used what if they use a really awesome compressor i you know, that wouldn't even stick with me.

If they're using a software compressor, do you want to know about their compressor settings? No. I'll tell you what. If Howard Stern was here right now, he has his own compressor settings, his own personal compressor settings. Oh, I don't doubt it. I would be interested to know what his personal compressor settings are. Well, his are because he always sounds like he's just like, like commanding voice.

Right. And he does have a commanding voice, but, I mean, you throw some compression on. I mean, imagine, in fact, while we're on the topic,

I'm going to ask you to throw massive compression on my voice for this interview. Oh, we're going to slam this thing. Yeah, yeah. This thing is going to be, if you look at the waveform

of this show, it's going to look like a fucking Metallica CD in 2007. Oh, but make me sound like Tiny Tim. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I am Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, Boy Detective.

Dave Hill, um, oh, the new Hollywood it girl. It's great to have you here, Dave Hill. That's what I... Wait a minute. I change it every time. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Something's different in here.

Yeah. What's changed? Let's take this to a different octave. Yeah. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Something's different in here. Yeah. What's changed? Let's take this to a different octave. Yeah. Oh, man. I like where this is going. When the octave changes, you know shit's about to go down. Da-na-na-na.

Oh, my God. Shit just got real. I'll tell you why. We've had Dave Hill in here. Dave Hill is from New York City. I live there, yeah. He's from television. Dave Hill, the king of Hill is from New York City. I live there, yeah. He's from television. Dave Hill, the king of Miami, Mojo HD Network.

HBO, Cinemax. Pull my IMDb page. No, don't do that. This is a great Dave Hill. I mean, there's no doubt about it. This is a great Dave Hill. It's done me right. But Jordan, there's another Dave Hill.

Yeah. This is West Coast Dave Hill. Hello, everybody. You can make up a nickname, too. Why don't I be East Coast It Girl Dave Hill? Oh, shit. Just flip that shit. No, I'm already the East Coast It Girl.

Well, you can't be both. Yeah. That's a greedy Dave Hill. That's not what Dave Hills are like. Shit. That's true. that's got me real quick we are we are a bit like a benevolent benevolent type we are a benevolent order of dave hills shit just like so this is like a skull and bones thing you guys yes it is there's us two and the guitar player from slade and the uh and the guitar player from Slade. And the executive producer of Fox Sports or something like that. Yeah, there's a few.

There's a photographer. Oh, a Dave Hill photography. I saw that when I was searching for Dave Hill on the internet. And I feel like there's some loophole he's gotten through, but somehow he knocked me down from being the first Dave Hill that shows up on Google. But someone explained to me that message boards is what does it. And photography message boards are kicking my ass.

Oh, wow. Because it's where your website is linked. I don't know if any of this is true. It was explained to me how this happened. So I was so unsettled by it. Okay, what is Google? Explain that to me. So we have two Dave Hills here. Someone said the. this happened because i was so unsettled by it okay what is google explain that so we have two dave hills here someone said the i don't know what that means

whenever there's two people whenever there's two people with the same name i think there's a natural inclination to want to find out which one of them is better and whenever you want to find out what two people with the same name, which of two people with the same name is the better one of those two people, there's only one way to do it. And that's a complicated, a possibly overcomplicated

quiz game based on the name that they share. I think it's maybe also worth mentioning before we start that the reason that we've called you Dave Hill in here. You just got flummoxed, didn't you? You didn't know which person to start with. Yeah, yeah.

I'm going to gesture. Okay, great. That'll help everybody. You know, you guys, while kind of have different kinds of comic performance, are both comic performers. Dave, you teach and perform at the ImprovOlympic here in Los Angeles. In addition to UCB, other places,

I've been all around the country. Sure, sure. I will be in Atlanta at the Village Theater next weekend. Boom. Very organic. I'm going to be...

So this seems like a natural mashup. And oftentimes when I'm referring to one Dave Hill or the other, it'll often get confused. So I think this is a nice way to really just... Not for me. It's not confusing. I know.

When I'm talking to you. I think this is... You just think, is this something I did? What Jordan's trying to say is that you two are natural enemies. Like the Tyrannosaurus Rex and the Triceratops. I don't know if that's what he was trying to say. I think that's the way to... I appreciate you setting up that dynamic.

Now, here's the thing. I was going to say that the person who goes first in our Dave Hill quiz should be the guest, which in my mind for a moment was going to be East Coast Dave Hill, since West Coast Dave Hill lives here in Los Angeles. However, East Coast Dave Hill has been sitting in with us here on Jordan, Jesse, Go! So in a way, West Coast Dave Hill is the guest. So instead, I got this nickel, and I'm going to give East Coast Dave Hill the chance to call it in the air. Heads.

It's tails, so West Coast Dave Hill is going to hill is why didn't you say what heads meant um heads the other dave hill goes here's here's how this here's how this dave hill off is gonna work i also want to i just quick question do i get any sort of advantage going first in these questions yeah well you get the first you get the first shot at scoring a point i got it okay got it fair enough there are there are two categories dave and hill oh boy you'll choose a category and jeopardy style uh jeopardy style and try and try and uh answer the quiz question that will be either Dave related or Hill related that results from your query. If you fail, if you correctly answer it, you will receive a point.

Play will then pass to the other Dave Hill. If you fail to answer it, play will pass to the other Dave Hill for the steal. But he's the other Dave Hill. I'm the Dave Hill. But he's the other Dave Hill. The goal here is to... You put chocolate in my peanut butter. This is a who's on first.

You guys should own a baseball team. Yeah. The objective here is to be the first Dave Hill to eight Dave Hill points. Wait, what am I doing during all this? You're making fun of them while they do it because this is a little bit embarrassing. It's a weird thing. So you just of them while they do it because this is a little bit embarrassing. It's a weird thing.

So you just mock them while they do it. And I'm sort of the straight man. I'm just the quiz master. Okay. Can I tune out? I'd rather you didn't tune out. Why are you walking out the window, Jordan? What are you doing?

I saw my scarf. My past experience with regard to someone else besides you talking and you tuning out is that my wishes don't really have a lot to do with the reality of what's going to happen. Okay, Dave. Okay, West Coast Dave Hill. Play goes to you first. Would you like a question about Dave or about Hill? Let's go with Hill. Okay, we're going hill. What Englishman went up a hill and came down a mountain in the 1995 film?

The actor? The actor. Mr. Hugh Grant. Hugh Grant, that's correct. Absolutely correct. That's your first point, West Coast Dave Hill. I'm glad. I wouldn't have gotten that.

Is that about the film Nodding Hill? That's about the film The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill and Came Down a Mountain. The longest title that had nothing to do with the film you've ever heard of? I didn't even know about that one. Yeah. Okay, East Coast Dave Hill. I should have let him take it. I just really got really turned off by Hugh Grant after that incident when he had the butt sex with the hooker.

Wait, was it butt sex specifically? I'm done with it. Yeah, in my mind. Was butt sex the fact? Was that part of the scandal? Was she a woman or a dude? Because then there would only be one option. Sure.

I think once you get to a certain point of celebrity, once you're making five, ten million bucks a movie, I think all sex is butt sex. That's your go-to? Yeah, yeah. That's your default setting? If you need to impregnate somebody. If you're in the two million to five million range, you're not quite there yet. But five million to ten million? Yeah, yeah. That's your default setting. If you need to impregnate somebody. If you're, like, in the 2 million to 5 million range, you're not quite there yet.

But 5 million to 10 million? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like, sure, like, Mike Myers has been having exclusively butt sex for years. Well, that's a whole other thing. Yeah. That's a can of worms that you have just opened up. I'm just going to. Oh, my scarf.

He's out the window again. He's out the window. He's gone. East Coast Dave Hill, Plano passes to you. Would you like a question from Dave or Hill? Gosh. I'm going to go Dave on this one. Okay, he's going Dave.

Please complete the following from the film Dave. Oh, I've seen this movie. Hail to the chief. He's the one we all say hail to. We all say hail because... He's the chief, he's the one we all say hail to. We all say hail because... He's the chief? Incorrect! We'll go to West Coast Dave Hill for the steal.

Are these all film-based questions? No, they're not all film-based questions. Some of them are, some of them are not. Because if they were... We are here in Hollywood. It would be unfair of me to give Hollywood Dave Hill. But if you could ask questions about heavy metal, I'd prefer it. And then I would just pass.

Look, there may be a heavy metal question in here. I'm not saying there is a heavy metal question, but there is a heavy metal question. And he is now writing down a heavy metal question right now. West Coast Dave Hill, the steel opportunity goes to you. Complete the following from the film dave hail to the chief he's the one we all say hail to we all say hail to him because he's the one we hail no incorrect it's because he keeps himself so clean yes. Sorry about that. That's all right. You retain control of the board, however. Would you like to go with Dave or Hill?

Let's get another Dave question. Okay. Newspaper columnist Dave Barry won what award for his, quote, consistently effective use of humor as a device for presenting fresh insights into serious concerns. What award did newspaper columnist Dave Barry win? What prestigious award? I'm going to go with the Pulitzer. That's correct.

The Pulitzer Prize. That's the only, what else could it be? Yeah. Dave Barry won the Pulitzer Prize. I was going to try the papery. Yeah, sure. The newsy. I was going to try to say it was the Clio and and I'd be like, no, it's the Clio. You're thinking of the Cable Ace Award.

That's right, the Obie. That was like a softball question. East Coast Dave Hill, play now passes to you. You're behind by two points at the moment. Would you like a question from Dave or a question from Hill? Dave. No. I would go with Dave.

All right, Dave. No. I would go with Dave. All right. Whatever. Okay. I'm not saying that there's a heavy metal question coming up next in the Dave category. But you're not saying that. Dave Mustaine founded the band Megadeth after being fired from what?

Metallica. That's absolutely correct. That's nice. That's a softball. There you go. Talk about a softball. I know. You There you go. Talk about a softball. I know. You can.

If you're an American, you should know the answer to that question. American born after the year 1927, you should know the answer to that question. West Coast Dave Hill, play now passes to you. Would you like a question from Dave or Hill? Wait, no. I just got that. Don't I get it? It switches back and forth unless there's a steal.

Oh, okay. Wow. Let's not be about the rules. Let's just be about the Dave and the Hill. I'll go with the Hill question. Don't look at the paper. Oh, I can't read that. He's 20 feet away from me.

I'll go with the Hill question. Okay. We're going with Hill. This British comic is perhaps best known for getting into Randy Mischief to the tune of Boots Randolph's Yackety Sacks. That's a softball. I might help you with's Yakety Sax. That's a softball. I might help you with the next one because that's such a softball. It's Benny Hill. That's correct.

Benny Hill. Cousin Benny. Cousin Benny Hill. Benny Hill. Now, you must have suffered throughout your life being people thinking that would be a funny thing to say to you. Yes. But I guess anyone with the last name Hill.

But especially being in did you have the did you have the uncles or like family friends that were like ah when you get into comedy you want to be a little benny hill there huh and then they started doing the song or do you ever have that and then i actually had a family friend actually start doing that song when i was just out of college and just starting to do improv in Chicago and actually said, all right, now do a routine and started doing the song. And I just stood there. That's the, I see usually, usually when you get that, when, when you're in comedy and there's that awkward family reunion, obviously the like, do your bit or do, do a skit for

me. So awkward. Do your sketch or your, your skit. Sure. Your skit. But then when they have musical accompaniment, it makes it infinitely more awkward. I wish I had even that level of support

from my relatives to even be willing to mock me in that way. It's more like, oh god. Okay. Control of the Board now returns to West Coast Dave Hill. Did you just get Benny Hill? Oh, Control of the Board now goes to West Coast Dave Hill. Did you just get Benny Hill?

I just got that one. Oh, Control of the Board now goes to East Coast Dave Hill. Would you like a question from Dave or Hill? It's only based on the steel. Yes. I'll take a Dave-based question. Okay. This band won the NAACP Image Award in 2004.

According to then-NAACP chairman Julian Bond, quote, they sell out the largest arenas on Earth, but frequently give their music away for free. Again, this band in the Dave category won the NAACP Image Award in

2004. The chairman of the NAACP said they sell out the largest arenas on Earth, but frequently give their music away for free. Does this mean they have a black person in the band? Maybe even two. The NAACP Indie Award. They have to have a black in the band. Yes. They might not say a black.

They might have to have someone who is African-American. A colored person. It's the NAACP. It's a colored person. You might not say a black. They might have to have someone who is African-American. A colored person. It's the NAACP. It's a colored person. Again, the category is Dave. I see. I want to say it's you two because of Dave Evans. But why would the NAACP?

The category. Okay. The edge. But why would the NAACP? But God bless the NAACP for giving you two an award. I'm going to change this. I'm going to go back to my original wording of this question, which I edited slightly. Okay.

This Dave band won the NAACP Image Award in 2004. Oh, I didn't listen to the top of the question. There were two of the three words of the band in the question. Oh, is it the Dave Matthews band? Absolutely correct. NAACP Image Award winner Dave Matthews and his band, which includes some black people. Not one, but two African-American members of the Dave Matthews.

But weirdly the whitest music that's ever happened. Literally the whitest music that's ever been recorded. With flourishes of blackness in the horns and the fiddling. Just a little flourish here and there. It's the specs. That's my Dave Matthews impression. No, that's

my singing. Wait. It just melts right into Benny Hill. No, that's my singing impression of Dave Matthews. Oh, I thought you were doing the music. No, listen. Okay.

You're getting the breathiness and the mumbliness right. I just figured out what our first collaboration is going to be. It's going to be us covering Dave Matthews' acapella. Oh, God. That's what it's going to be. West Coast Dave Hill, you have a 3-2 lead, and the question is yours. Would you like a question from Dave or Hill? Let's go with the Hill category again.

It's getting collected. The frontman of R&B group Drew Hill had the biggest hit of his career as a solo act with a borderline novelty song released in the summer of 2000. Who was the singer and what was the song? Pass. A borderline novelty hit from the summer of 2000. He already passed. Okay.

Not going to waste our time. That's not what Dave Hills do. For the steal, we're going... We're men of action. We're men of action and just complete giving up. That's what what Dave Hills do. For the steal, we're going... We're men of action. We're men of action. We're men of action and just complete giving up. That's what we're... That's about right.

You're men of a binary opposition. That's absolutely. Zero-one, and this is currently zero. Okay. You were speaking of Cisco and the thong song. Oh, exactly correct. There it is. For the tie, and because the question now goes back

to you, East Coast Dave Hill, you have a chance to take the lead. Would you like a question from Dave or Hill? I'll take a Dave-based question. Excellent. What character, what famous film character, uttered the famous line,

I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that. I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that. I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that. It's from film? What famous film character uttered the line, I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that? The last one was sort of an impression of it. Was it, it was either Mr. Ed or Goliath the dog? So it must have been Mr. Ed. Was it Mr. Ed?

Incorrect. For the steal, we go to West Coast Dave Hill. The computer Hal from the film 2001. That's correct. For a forward points to three lead. And you now have control of the board, West Coast Dave Hill. Let's go back to the Hill category. Okay, we're going back to Hill.

What basketball Hill has made a name for himself as one of the country's top collectors of African-American art, including works by Romare Bearden, Huey Lee Smith, and Elizabeth Catlett, among others? I'm just going to go with the first Hill that comes to mind, and that is Mr. Grant Hill. That's correct. Mr. Grant Hill.

Basketball star Grant Hill. That one felt like a softball. I wouldn't have gotten it, but I'm saying it felt like a softball. From the batter's box? From the on-deck circle, it felt like a total softball? It felt like it. East Coast Dave Hill, control of the board now to you. I want him to be known as America's Dave Hill. America's Dave Hill, control of the board now to you. I want to be known as America's Dave Hill.

America's Dave Hill, control of the board now goes to you. Then I would like to be known as North America's Dave Hill. No, you can't because I'm a quarter Canadian. I already got North America locked up. Well, I'm 116th Mexican Native Indian. Are you really? I am. Oh, good.

Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight. Okay, so you can be Olmec Dave Hill. Wait, what was the question? You have control of the board. You can choose Hill or Dave. It's three hours ahead on your body clock. I've been this way all week, and it's weird. I haven't had a drink all week

that's your problem right there i know i feel like it is but i feel like i've done everything to i was told there's pictures of martinis yeah yeah i feel like you have the chance to tie you have the chance to tie with this question just choose dave or hill dave or hill oh man did i get the last one yeah i think you did get your last one let's go dave let's stay Dave or Hill? Dave or Hill? Oh, man. Did I get the last one? Yeah, I think you did get your last one. Let's go Dave. Let's stay Dave. Okay.

This one might be a tough one. This Philadelphia Daily News journalist is perhaps better known nationally as the substitute host of NPR's Fresh Air. nationally as the substitute host of NPR's Fresh Air. This Philadelphia Daily News journalist is better known nationally as the substitute host of NPR's Fresh Air. Terry Gross. Incorrect. We pass now to West Coast Dave Hill. I should know this as a prominent NPR contributor.

You are a public radio person. Well, public radio international. Yeah, you were on This American Life at one time. He's been on like three times. Five times. Five. Count it. Five now.

Sorry. If you count the time that I was bumped, it was five, which I choose to count. Sure. Why wouldn't you? Well, because I was mentioned in the show. David Rakoff and I made a short video, basically. You made a video that's available on the internet now. On the internet for the...

We've made a few videos together, but we made a video for the most recent This American Life live show, and the video was not very good. And I felt like I knew that when I handed it in to them, that it was not very good. And to their credit, I recalled and said, Dave, this video's not very good. What the fuck?

He didn't say it like that. Yeah. So in the live show, they said, and if you go on our website, you can see the video that Dave Hill. So I count them mentioning my name a few times during that episode as being on. But technically, if you go on the iPhone app,

I only have... And the favorite contributors section, that's where this whole thing is headed. You are one of the favorite contributors. Then I only have four things listed. That's what I wanted to waste your time with, clearing this up. The question now goes to West Coast Dave Hill. Remember that the category is Dave.

The category is Dave. The question, this Philadelphia Daily News journalist is better known nationally as the substitute host of NPR's Fresh Air. Yes. It's like David being Cooley or something like that. Oh, incorrect. He does. He does. He does. That is a Dave that contributes to fresh air.

That is damn close. Does he lose a point for getting it wrong? He does not lose a point for getting it wrong on the seal. That's a new rule. I see how this is now, Dave. The correct answer, that was a very good guess. The correct answer, Dave Davies. Oh, that's a guitar player, Dave Davies. Oh. Dave Davies.

Guitar player for the Kinks. Yes. Yes. Also Philadelphia Daily News correspondent. That's right. A man of letters and arts. Sure. Okay, West Coast Dave Hill, it's back to you.

Would you like a Dave or a Hill question? Let's go with another Hill question. Okay, this Hill question. This pioneering hip-hop group released the first major rap hit in 1979. Their follow-up hits included Apache and 8th Wonder. This pioneering hip-hop group. Category is Hill. The Sugar Hill Gang.

Oh, my God. That's correct. I knew that. I thought I was totally going to steal that from you. That one is correct. Because say what you want about either one of us, but I'm the more street Dave Hill. You are the most street. No doubt about that.

Anyone. I mean, you would even give me that. I would totally give you that. I'm completely street. I mean, Old Mac Dave Hill, you came in full yachting regalia. I did. I did. He did.

Old Mac Dave Hill. I don't mess around. Sure. My shoes are white and polished. I did. I did. He did. Old Mac Dave Hill. I don't mess around. Sure. My shoes are white and polished. And you've got an urban flair. I have an urban flair. North America's Dave Hill. I used to live in the Bronx.

The BX, as you call it. You cannot get more street in the Bronx. You can't. I am as street as they come. The next question to East Coast Dave Hill. Would you like Dave or Hill? Oh, man. Let's Dave it up. Okay, we're going with Dave.

This Con Air actor lives with his wife Elaine and two sons on a 65-acre farm in Ohio. This actor from the film Con Air. Dave Chappelle. Correct. Yes. There it is. That is absolutely correct. He's back from Africa.

It's wonderful. Yeah. He lives in a random, I mean, I'm from Ohio, as you may or may not know. I did not know that. Yeah. I am from Illinois. Oh, the next town over.

Midwest. Couple states over. That's right. What one? Chicago? Chicago area suburbs, yeah. What one? Palatine. Oh couple states over. That's right. What one? Chicago? Chicago area suburbs, yeah. What one? Palatine.

Oh, I love that one. I don't know that one. You don't know that one? That's all right. But, yeah, I don't know where Dave Chappelle lives in Ohio, but it's basically if you don't live in Cleveland, you should leave. And if you live in Cleveland, you should think about leaving. With no disrespect.

If you live in Cleveland, watch your back. I must say I love Cleveland, but that's a whole other conversation. Do you hate Cincinnati? I just don't. It doesn't even register for me. It's a void. I've been there. I've had a fine time there.

To be fair to Cincinnati, Cincinnati is home to the Icky Woods dance. It is. The Icky Woods dance. It is. The Icky Shuffle. It is. I like Cincinnati. I like Columbus. I mean, I like them. But Cleveland is the Paris of Ohio.

That is one hell of a backtrack you just did on your feelings about Ohio. No, I love Ohio. Okay. I will be there soon. Visiting, visiting. West Coast Dave Hill, control of the board, passes love Ohio. Okay. I will be there soon. Visiting, visiting. West Coast Dave Hill, control of the board, passes to you. Would you like Dave or Hill? Dave or Hill?

Wait, I thought I was winning. No. Did you? I have no idea what's going on. We'll go back to Dave. I haven't done a Dave in a while. Okay, we're going Dave. Who's winning?

The original script for this. He is. Yeah, he's winning. What's the score? It's six to four. No way. Yeah, way. Wow.

But you're scoring a lot more comedy points than I am. Well, the tail of the tape. We'll have to go back. Well, I don't know. We'll have to see it in post. And you're selling a lot more drugs. What's that? You're selling a lot more drugs. I. And you're selling a lot more drugs. What's that? You're selling a lot more drugs.

I am. I'm selling a lot more drugs. For those of you that can't see us right now, there's just a line of kids out the door. In between every line, he's just, you know, a little baggy. Yeah, give it to him for free. That's right.

And then charge him next time. That's right. The original script for this 2008 urban sci-fi comedy was written by Mystery Science Theater 3000 alum Bill Corbett. The original script for this 2008 urban sci-fi comedy was written by Mystery Science Theater 3000 alum Bill Corbett. I believe we're talking about the wonderful Eddie Murphy film, Meet Dave. That's correct. Absolutely correct.

You're correctly... Were you in it? Nope. Were you in it? I wasn't. Thank goodness. You and I were filming something much better at the time. Oh yeah, yes we were. Yes indeed. The pilot we were in where two kooky comedians go to live in a retirement community.

Called Early Retirement. Early Retirement. Wait, but that was already done by Rodney Rothman. I know. I talked to Rodney Rothman about it one time. He was really pissed. I mean, he wrote a book, did a pilot, and I believe is developing a movie based on it. Yeah, I sent him an email.

Nice guy, Rodney Rothman, past Sound of Young America guest. I sent him an email and said, hey, my buddy Jordan just got cast in a reality show pilot that seems like it's based on your book. Is it? And he said, no, fuck that shit. He didn't say that.

Wait, it was a reality show? It was more of an improvised show. It was a comedy show. Yeah, they made it during the writer's strike and it was, you know. It was in the gray zone. Yeah, yeah made it during the writer's strike, and it was, you know. It was in the gray zone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. East Coast or America's Dave Hill?

You've got control of the board. But unfortunately, there are no more Dave questions, so we're going to go to Hill questions. I'll take a Hill question. The hip-hop group Cypress Hill is made up of DJ and producer Muggs, rapper Sendog, and who? Be real. Absolutely correct. Why are they only...

Street. Street. I know. Why is there any more street than Cypress Hill? Why only hip-hop or movie questions? It's like... Well, that's all I really know about. Wait, no, there is one more thing we know about. And one heavy metal question.

We're about to get to that. Control of the board and for the win to West Coast Dave Hill. All right. Wait, for the win? Yeah. What's the score? Seven to five. Eight points is a victory.

Santa Cruz-born outfielder Glenn Allen Hill hit 25 home runs and stole 24 bases for the Major League Baseball team he grew up rooting for. What was that team? The Santa Cruz-born outfielder Glenn Allen Hill grew up rooting for what team? Well, the sad thing is that he played for my Cubs for a while. And on the first day of the season, hit one of the most gargantuan home runs you've ever seen in your life at Wrigley Field and then proceeded to do nothing

for the rest of that season. Yeah, we still talk about him to this day. We do. We do. I furiously masturbate to a picture of him. We were talking about furious masturbation earlier. That was before we got started. Oh, no, on the show.

Oh, yes. Oh, on the show? Yeah, that was a conversation. Because you and I, whenever we get together, that's all we talk about. I shoehorn it into a lot of conversations. You do. But your segues have become just, mwah, yes. Oh, on the show? Yeah, that was a conversation. Because you and I, whenever we get together, that's all we talk about. I shoehorn it into a lot of conversations. You do. But your segues have become just, mwah, choice.

Pristine. Glenn Allen Hill did that. Let's say he did that for, let's say, the Anaheim Angels. Incorrect. For the steal, we go to East Coast Dave Hill. For the steal, we go to East Coast Dave Hill. Santa Cruz, California-born outfielder Glenn Allen Hill hit 25 home runs and stole 24 bases for the Major League Baseball team he grew up rooting for in 1995. What team was it?

The San Francisco team. Exactly correct. The San Francisco team. The San Francisco team. Exactly correct. The San Francisco team. The San Francisco team giants. Way to inject a little drama into this. Seven to six, my friend. It's a game of inches. You have control of the board, East Coast Dave Hill.

America's Dave Hill. There are only questions remaining in the Hill category. The People's Dave Hill. I want to be the parents Dave Hill. That's who I want to be. Mom and Dad love him. Mom and Dad love me. This CW drama series returns April 19th with one of its

final episodes. Done. Done. Wait, what's the nature of this question? This CW drama series. But wait, this is a hill-based question. Oh, oh, One Tree Hill. There it is. Absolutely correct.

There it is. That brings it to seven to seven. The next score. That speaks not to my knowledge of television, but my knowledge of bus ads. Yes. I think. That's their audience. Bus travelers.

Like just going down the street in Manhattan. Where I live. Palatial apartment. This question is for the win to West Coast Dave Hill. All right. And if you fail and it's stolen. How is it still for the win? Am I just behind by one point now? It's tied now. Now we're tied. It's tied. Now we's stolen... Wait, how is it still for the win? Am I just... I'm behind by one point now.

It's tied now. Now we're tied. It's tied. Now we're tied. Wait, shouldn't it be like sudden death? No, because you switch... Oh, it is sudden. You're saying it is sudden death.

Yeah, he misses it and you steal it. You win. I'm basically just agreeing with you. Okay, West Coast Dave Hill. Fuji's superstar, Lauren Hill... Okay, God, thanks. ...is married to the child of what 1970s music sensation?

Fuji's superstar Lauren Hill is married to one of the children of what 1970s music sensation? The name of the group? The name of the artist. He was name of the artist? The name of the artist.

He was a music sensation in the 1970s. Okay. And has remained a music sensation since, to a certain extent. Now you're helping. Okay, sorry. Sorry. You got no help on Dave Matthews Band whatsoever. What?

Fan. I have no idea. Okay. You don't even want to hazard a guess. None. Leif Garrett or... No. Casey and the Sunshine Band.

Incorrect. All right. East Coast Dayfell. Is this for the win? This is for the victory. This is for all the marbles. What do I get? The championship of Dayfells.

Okay. All right. Then thank you bob marley correct there it is there it is i did it in an amazing come from behind victory you believe in miracles i believe in miracles i feel like if it had gone on, it really could have caused everyone to unsubscribe from Jordan Jesse Go rather than most listeners to Jordan Jesse Go. Are you going to play this game in real time? Yeah. Half an hour's worth.

Wow. Well, you know, I think... You can hear people clicking off. You know what I think we learned in this segment, Jordan? Both Dave Hills are fantastic. Oh, that's wonderful. That's very sweet. That's so nice of you to say.

That's so nice of you to say. That's very sweet. We'll be back. Neither one of us agree with you. No, I'm just kidding. No, I find the other Dave Hill to be delightful. He's handsome, too, right?

He is, too. I will grant you, I think you're a handsomer man than I am. Well, I don't're a handsomer man than I am. Well, I don't... You're being polite. You guys are both very handsome. This is about the fun.

But I don't... It's not about the looks for me. Right. It's more of a stealth operation. Right, and you stealthily just won the championship. I did, so I proved it. Out of nowhere. Out of nowhere.

This is your... You are being gracious because you're a gracious winner. Yes. Because you're one of the greatest Dave Hills of all time. This is the other Dave Hills 9-11. This is basically. It's exactly that. I will never forget it.

I will always remember. Oh. He came in here and just got his. This tiny room. Well, Dave Hill, congratulations. David Hill, thank you for taking the time to stop by. Thank you very much. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go.

It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. I'm Dave Hill, man about town. Not to mention champion of Dave Hill's. Yeah. To say nothing of that. I'm awesome at it man about town. Not to mention champion of Dave Hills. Yeah. To say nothing of that. I'm awesome at it.

You're fantastic. Oh, God, you're a delight, Dave Hill. Thank you. I'm having a really nice time. So my stupid CD... I suspect that you are. I am. I am.

The CD player here in the MaxFun Studios really hates these CDs. I cannot figure out why. We thought we were going to be able to take some calls this week uh i guess we're not going to be able to but that's okay we could take some texts yeah text it in oh you know what i did get um i did get one email i wanted to share this is great it's like a call but more modern yeah exactly um last week on the show we were modern accent oh yeah last week modern y'all modern oh last week on the show we were... Hey, you had an accent all of a sudden. Yeah. Modern. Y'all. Oh. Last week on the show we were talking about Jermaine Jackson of the Jacksons.

Of course you were. And we were just, we were trying to figure out whether people knew or didn't know that his son is named Jermajesty. I was aware of that. Okay, see? That's what I said. Whereas I think Jordan said that he did not know that. I did not know that.

So we put up a poll on the website. I've had people emailing me all week. I know, I know, I don't know, I know, I don't know. We put up a poll on the website. The final score was 42% to 40%, I believe, if I remember correctly, in favor of people who did know that Jermaine Jackson's son was named Jermajesty. What did the other 18% fill in?

Don't care? Well, the other people, I think for the most part, the other people found themselves voting for the third option, which was let's get serious, and then in parentheses, and fall in love. which was Let's Get Serious, and then in parentheses, and Fall in Love, the 1980 smash hit that Stevie Wonder penned for Jermaine Jackson after Jermaine, who was married to Barry Gordy's daughter, decided to stay at Motown rather than follow the Jacksons to Sony.

Wow. And look where that got him. I know. Your Majesty. Do you think Jermaine just punched his own kid in the face before he went to school each day? Let's get this out of the way. You're going to get your ass kicked. And I'm an adult, so this punch is going to hurt a lot.

And then this child punch that you're going to get later is just going to seem like nothing. Yeah. This is the email that we got from Hank. Hank emailed, just so you know, I knew about your majesty. I'm not college educated. I work at an oil refinery, and I don't listen to the sound of Young America because I'm afraid listening to public radio may turn me queer. That's just to give you a sense of the cross-section of your listeners.

So thank you. I appreciate he answered the question. He provided a little demographic context. Thanks for getting all that oil for us. I still say that Hank's a major homo though. He is kind of a homo. There's no doubt about that. That guy is as queer as a jaybird.

Man, he's the queen. You can just tell in his punctuation. That guy's a real Liberace type. How did he take the cock out of his mouth long enough to type that? Type that. He also has two problems. One is he's gay, which is hard in today's America. The other is when there's something in his mouth, he can't move his hands.

Yeah, yeah. I freeze. I freeze. Well, you've got to work the balls. Yeah. Sure. Maybe you have to finger the anus. Absolutely.

These are, I mean, you want to finger the anus absolutely these are i mean you know you want to be a considerate gay lover yeah i think if you are if you are a gay lover then you've got advanced techniques such as anus fingering sure you know or in my case just a drunk lover yeah they're not even a gay lover absolutely um anyway our thanks to hank for emailing us uh next week on the show We have just completed the hat contest We are now tallying the results of the Jordan Jesse Go Hat Contest Feeding them into the supercomputer Next time on the show

We will announce the hat contest champion And we're going to give out some prizes I'm going to give out some stuff from the MaxFunStore If you want to guarantee that you get something from the MaxFunStore I recommend going to Maxfunstore.com. Dave Hill, people can follow you on Twitter at Mr. Dave Hill.

M-R Dave Hill. You also have your own website, which is davehillonline.com where they can check out your cool YouTube videos. They can check out your custom Louis Vuitton-styled monogram background. That's on the Twitter page.

Oh, that's on the back. Excuse me. Yeah. No, no, no. That's fine. They can check out some of your – I personally, I for one, enjoy some of your videos from New York's Fashion Week. Oh, thank you. Which I have posted on my men's style blog.

Put this on to much acclaim. Oh, wow. People love that. Thank you very much. At one point, you had a nice conversation with a young man about the new collection by Kofi Annan. Yes.

Kofi Annan. And I talked to a supermodel. I don't know if she's a supermodel, but Amanda Kerr amanda kerr big this is popular about the uh jean-marc uh car collection and she was very into that collection um a lot of great dave hill stuff you can check out plus hey i want to take this opportunity to celebrate a new addition to maximumumFun.org's stable. You heard a sample show from them last week with our pal Scott Simpson.

That is Canada's own Stop Podcasting Yourself. Dave Shumka and Graham Clark of Vancouver, British Columbia have a great show. I loved it so much I got in touch with them and said, do you want to come on board, be part of our family, so to speak? Oh, that's why when you go on iTunes and you pull up this show their show also comes up yeah I think we already had a lot of audience overlap because a lot of people who loved our show loved their show which is why I checked it out to begin with I had heard so many good things and I knew that Dave Shumka posted on uh the maximum fun message board

i had heard that and so i thought i'd check it out i really loved it i think it's a really fantastic show very much in the vein of jordan jesse go a similar kind of show with a with a you know a soft sweet north of the border bent yeah exactly are you canadian i'm not no they are though they are oh oh theirs has the north of the corner. Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. This jet lag is really getting me. I only hear like every third word. So we insist that you check out Stop Podcasting Yourself, the new member of the MaximumFun.org family.

Their new shows will be coming to MaximumFun.org soon. In the meantime, you can check them out at StopPodcastingYourself.com or just search for Stop Podcasting Yourself in iTunes if you have thoughts about the show you want to give us a call to give us a momentous occasion or whatever hopefully I'll get this stupid fucking CD player fixed

206-984-4FUN or JJGO at maximumfun.org wait you have a Seattle based phone number? yes we do 206-984-4FUN that's where the company that gives us the voicemail is based, I think. 206-984-4FUN or JJGO at MaximumFun.org. Be sure and check out all of Dave Hill's endeavors.

And that's about it. Right, Jordan? Yep. We'll talk to you next week on Jordan, Jesse, Go. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye.