Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 155: DUI with Nick Thune

Episode Date: November 29, 2010

Nick Thune joins Jesse and Jordan to discuss Thanksgiving, driving under the influence and more.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys, and take off your shoes and socks and run you. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. And I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. And this is... Jordan, Jesse, go! Icicles, tricycles, ice cream, candy, lollipops, popsicles, licorice sticks, Solomon, friendly, maggoty, edgy, twiddly, dumby, we're joined by Nick Thune for a discussion of the Thanksgiving holiday and more.

Let's go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Cool, beautiful evening in Los Angeles. Jordan, for some reason, wearing what looks like maybe a cotton sweater. Oh, yeah, I am ill-prepared, ill-prepared for the cool weather. Now, your justification for this, to me, Jordan, by the way, our guest on the program,

the brilliant stand-up comedian, Mr. Nick Thune. Nick Thune. Thank you. Thank you so much. From the Jay Leno show, of course. Yeah, that's where I got my comedian, Mr. Nick Thune. Nick Thune. Thank you. Thank you so much. From the Jay Leno show, of course. Yeah, that's where I got my start, yeah. You probably know him from his comedies across this great nation. Jordan, I didn't broach the subject

when you said it to me, really, at my front gate. Sure. Because I felt like it was something we should air out rich a rich uh rich vein you could mine so i was surprised because it is genuinely cold outside this is like a los angeles sweater yeah yeah like it but it is it's it's maybe 50 degrees outside and very windy lots of wind yeah and it may be it may be high 40s like it is genuinely cold yeah it's brisk. It's still clear skies, too, which almost, you know. Yeah.

It's a serious situation out there. Now, I was surprised that Jordan looked like he was about to freeze and die in a very thin cotton sweater. I saw eight people wearing scarves on the drive here. Were you counting? Yeah. You keep a clicker on him. I like, yeah. Like an umpire.

I always keep track of scarves. No, yeah. Once I see 10, I know it's okay for me to wear one. Oh, it's like an OCD thing. Okay. Oh, I thought it was like a train spotting thing. Just to pass the time. Yeah, just like something to do.

You go down to the scarf yards, see if you see any new models. Number 10, I've got mine ready to go at all times. Jordan, you were up there, and I was surprised surprised i said god jordan you look cold and uh you're like yes i am cold or something to that effect sure and i said gosh i mean just another classic example of our witty banter so people ask us if we're like that off mic we are so my assumption i, was that maybe you had been working today or something like that. Sure. And you dressed for a daytime, but it was cold at night. But then I thought, oh, but it was cold today, too.

Sure. And I made a remark to that effect. And you said, oh, yeah, I didn't know it was cold today because I only recently left the house. But that doesn't explain, because once you go outside, you can come back and put on a jacket. I have a pretty, here's what I think happened. Here's the idea. Do you own a jacket?

I do have a jacket. Okay. Somewhere. It occurred to me that you might not have a jacket. That's, yeah, not an unsafe assumption. If we could get a jacket sent out here. Oh, man, that'd be great. My freshman year roommate in college, Mike, didn't own pants.

He had to buy some pants to go to dinner at his grandma's. Short guy? Yeah, shorts only. I have a pretty powerful little space heater in my house that has been blaring. Is that something that they... I mean, is that like a new technology, a space heater? No, no. Yes, this is a new technology of space heater? No, no. Yes, this is a freeze-dried heater.

It does not go into space. Oh. Yeah. It heats space. It heats the space around me. I'm just going to play dumb guy that doesn't know anything. Okay, sure. That's great.

That's a great character. That's why we brought you in here. We know about your character work. Yeah, yeah. Okay, we don't want you using this podcast Just to hone your SNL audition Okay It's nine months out I'm trying to get ready

Whoa Nick Hold on I'm getting pretty tired of tall guy Okay Can we talk to gay clown Am I doing tall guy now You're doing tall guy They're all so similar

Ease off the throttle Dana Carvey Anyways I have It's a mighty space heater. Uh-oh. Oh, boy. Something happened. Yeah, there we go. Now we're cool. I'm saying it's a mighty space heater.

It really warmed me up. I was wearing kind of relaxation clothes around the house. Basketball shorts, maybe a sleeveless. Yeah, yeah. And a caveman toga over that. You know, like Fred Flintstone style. Yeah, yeah. And a caveman toga over that. You know, like Fred Flintstone style. Yeah, something mid-thigh. Yeah, yeah. That's because you killed a

bear last weekend and you're just excited to finally get to wear a tie. I know, I know. It's like, alright, we get it, Jordan. You killed a bear. It's pretty cool, though. And you're like, I tanned it, too. Sure. It's a process. What are you gonna do with the rug? Man, I tanned it, too. Sure. It's a process. What are you going to do with the rug? Oh, man.

I don't know. I have so many animal skins in my house already. Also, but the good news is so many fireplaces as well. I do have a lot of fireplaces. One per? Yeah, yeah. I think I'm just going to switch out the giant spot. Hence the space heater you're using.

Yes. A lot of sensual occasions also. Mm-hmm. Oh, yes, with which to appear nude on them. Yeah, so podcast time rolled around. I got dressed. I was feeling very hot. My inner temperature had heated up from a long day of watching movies and playing video games in front of the space heater.

I'd heated up from a long day of watching movies and playing video games in front of the space heater. And then it kind of only occurred to me, you know, as I was getting out of the car, maybe I was, this heat I was feeling was going to wear off when there's no space heater around. Did you just jam the heat in your car too, right when you got in? Yeah, I mean, I kind of alternated the heat and air. Blast the heat, blast the air. That's what I'm all about. Extremes. Yesterday I figured out how to turn the butt warmer on in my car.

I don't know that I knew that I had a butt warmer, but then I saw it and thought I think that's a butt warming knob. Lower back or just butt? Oh, butt and lower back. That's nice. The whole situation. Taint? Yeah, sure. Somewhere in the middle. It depends on the placement of my scrote, but yes. In theory. By the way, I think that whole Jordan's outfit bit that we did at the top of the show here, I think that's another in our continuing series of segments. Jesse is pretty sure he's Jordan's mom.

Sure, yeah. If you have anything you'd like to relay to my bosses at work on Monday, just pin a little note to my sweater. And then we'll be sure that my bosses know if I have a runny nose or if I have some medication to take. Or if you can leave early. Yeah, or if I can leave early because our grandma died. Oh, wow. Our grandma that we mutually share. Yes.

Guys, actually, I have a subject Okay, I want to hear about it This has been bothering me Oh gosh First movie, Meet the Parents Sure Second movie, Meet the Fockers Two Oscars

Yes, that's two Oscars Wait, I'm sorry Third movie, forthcoming, Little Fockers. Meet the Parents, Meet the Fockers, Little Fockers. When we are referring to the trilogy, which we will probably all have to in future film studies classes. The Fockers trilogy? Well, is it the Fockers trilogy or is it the Parents trilogy? is it the Fockers trilogy or is it the parents trilogy?

Because Fockers appears in two of them, but then that maybe will lead people to think that you're not talking about meet the parents. But if you say parents trilogy, are they, do people automatically include the two Fockers movies? Well, they're actually, they,

there is another movie that they're working on now that's in the script stage called fuck the parents. Okay. Um, what's your inside info on this well i i i'm in the industry i don't mean to be rude nick i know that you've dabbled in the industry as well and i'm deep inside it i'm inside the game i'm basically i'm like the michael bay of knowing about scripts? Of knowing about scripts. In that mostly just really loud noises. You know about scripts very loudly.

Yeah. I think, do you think that the implied swearing sort of overpowers the fact that parents is the initial, was the seed? I don't know. was the seed. I don't know. I'm just, I'm like, I'm confused because I'm going to want to talk to people about you know, this set of movies as a whole like you talk about the Star Wars films. Yeah, like what are you going to tell your children? Yeah, right, exactly. What's the box set called, I guess? Is Owen Wilson in Little Fockers? Owen Wilson, yeah. I saw the trailer for Little Fockers recently. Owen Wilson

seems to have a pretty big part he does like some sort of weird Vulcan death grip on a child too that seems pretty funny I am really ready to enjoy Owen Wilson I'd like to number one I never left Owen Wilson's side I didn't go see any of his terrible movies

I guess but I've always been a big Owen Wilson supporter as I am with all the Wilsons. I think people remember my support of Luke Wilson, my continuing support. And Lord knows that I'm a big supporter of Andrew Wilson. Oh, yeah. Well, who isn't? Nancy Wilson. Yeah, Nancy

Wilson. Brian Wilson, the pitcher, and the... Both the pitcher and the... But particularly the pitcher from the world champion San Francisco Giants. I wonder if Owen's affected by the AT&T commercials that Luke did. I wonder if that brings his stock down a little bit. If that brings his IMDb star meter down. Well, do you think, what about this?

Do you think that when one of them does something for money, the other one gets 10% because it tarnishes both of their images a little bit? And do you think that's the money that Andrew Wilson lives off of? I'd like to hope so. I feel like if they have that sort of arrangement, then Owen Wilson is like banking some fuck you points against Luke Wilson, just to like throw in his face at the family reunion.

Not that I don't, you know, it seems like he's just made worse career choices. I wonder who's more likable in person between Owen and Luke. I mean, it's got to be like a likability festival every time you're around him. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I mean, just so much fun. Well, I mean, I think...

Positivity. Yeah. Pats on the back. Uh-huh, charm. Suicide attempt. I'm just throwing that in there because that is one concern when you're discussing which one is... Sure. You can't go high unless you can go low.

Right. And I think that's Luke Wilson basically in a nutshell. Yeah, absolutely. By the way, we know a lot about Luke Wilson's suicide attempt that we haven't told you to this point. Yeah. But we're deep inside Hollywood. What do you guys know? He tried to commit suicide.

Oh, we as a whole. Yeah, we collectively. Oh, okay. You also know about it. Yeah, I know. Nick, I know. You're in Hollywood, too. Do you remember how you know about it? Oh, that. You also know about it. Yeah, I know. Nick, I know. Do you remember how you know about it?

Oh, that Owen Wilson. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. By the way, I'm working on my character, Deep Inside Hollywood Guy. I like it. Yeah. We could do that, and I could play dumb guy, and then that'll make you feel more important.

Right. Right. Status. Status games, my friend. Status. Jordan, you can watch. Okay. I mean...

He could be the waiter that kind of pops in every now and again. Right, he comes in and he's... He could be the exasperated waiter. What about Gassy Penguin? That's my signature character. Do you think he'll fit in with your guys' dynamic? Hey, I don't see why not. He doesn't talk, does he? He's just gassy. Yeah, he burps

and farts. Burps? He's a burper. He's a burp. Isn't burp his catchphrase? It is. Gassy penguin. Yeah. Burp. When we come up with the plush, when you squeeze it, it'll say burp.

Yeah. And in the cartoon strip upon which Gassy Penguin is based, there's always those pictures of him and he's got the fart coming out of his butt and the burp coming out of his mouth and then it just says burp. Yeah. Now, I'm playing guy that doesn then it just says, barp. Yeah. Now, I'm playing guy that doesn't know a lot here right now. Sure.

So forgive me, but have you talked to a guy that knows a lot about the industry about maybe making this into a motion picture deal? Oh. Jordan, I'm a guy that knows a lot about the industry. Sure.

And I'm a very gassy penguin. I recently ate a fish filled with beans. Okay, act one, done. Yeah, that's it. We have a pretty fair number of cartoonists in the audience. I think we're going to get some gassy penguin pics. I can only hope so. Right? Sure. With Barb. I can already see Barb.

You know, this brings it around. As I've mentioned multiple times on this program, I once auditioned to be the voice of Marmaduke in the Marmaduke movie, a role that later went to Owen Wilson. Right. Now, do you think we can trick Owen Wilson into thinking he's going to get the job

in the CGI 3D Gassy Penguin movie, and then it goes to me, so he knows what it feels like? Now, if you had a choice between Owen and Luke for that role, you would go with Owen. I mean, it's me. It's my signature character. So I don't think

either of them will play it. Oh, okay. Maybe they can be the humans in the movie. Maybe we could set him up for an audition and you beat him out for it. Is that what you're saying?

Yeah, yeah, that's kind of the idea because he did the same thing to me. Yeah. Out of spite, I can only imagine. So I think I just want the Wilson family to know how it feels. To feel pain, yeah. To be so close

to what you've always wanted. To maybe push another suicide attempt. Yeah, sure. Let's go for three. When I was in high school, I auditioned to be Max Fisher in Rushmore. Oh. This is how the audition went. They were doing a nationwide talent search. I remember, I saw that

in the extras on the DVD. Yeah, they were doing a nationwide talent search. I saw that in the extras on the DVD. Yeah, they were doing a nationwide talent search. It was just for a Bill Murray movie. And at the time, I think his most recent movie was Operation Dumbo Drop. So this was not a high point in Bill Murray's career. And I went in with a couple of other friends from the theater school that I attended at the time. And they pointed at me and said, too tall.

And I left. And you couldn't have been any other student. But I still resent Jason Schwartzman to this day. Yeah. Because it later came out, became one of my probably three favorite movies ever. And then I realized, oh, shit. That's that fucking Bill Murray Operation Dumbo Drop movie that I auditioned for And I still

When you were at the audition you were hoping it was Operation Dumbo Drop 2 Yeah I mean Jason number one Jason Schwartzman was fantastic in the role Great movie Number two to be frank at the time while I was only 16 years old I was 6 feet 1 inch tall And uh

Refilled out And no I was gawky I was very gawky But you know I was I was too much taller Than Bill Murray To stand next to him

And look like a teen How tall is Bill Murray? I think he's a mid-sized man I think he's You're talking about 5'10 Or something like that And Jason Schwartzman Was fantastic at the film

I turned out to love the film I still This is 10 years later I still kind of see Jason Schwartzman was fantastic at the film. I turned out to love the film. I still, this is 10 years later, I still kind of see Jason Schwartzman and I'm like, oh, you stole my shot with your elaborate Coppola party routine and you're wearing a making your own blue blazer. That's right.

They show his audition in it and he made his own jacket. When the reality is that I was not qualified for the role. Did he have a jacket on hand and he just thought, oh, I'll just make this up real quick? Or did somebody go buy him? I mean, what really happened there? If you ask me, Talia Thayer, his mother from Rocky, went and bought him a jacket. Who is she in Rocky?

She's the girlfriend. Really? Yeah. What's her name? Adrian? Adrian. I had no idea. From Rocky. Oh, wow. That changes her name? Adrian? Adrian. I had no idea. From Rocky.

Oh, wow. That changes a lot. Yeah, she's a Coppola. He's a Coppola. They're all Coppolas. I didn't know she was a Coppola. No, she's a Coppola. Oh, wow.

How'd she get mixed up with Stallone? She's a Coppola by marriage, I think. Oh, Rocky's Coppola? Yeah. Oh, not movie marriage. No, Rocky's not a Coppola. Real life marriage. Rocky's a fictional character.

You're right. Oh, guy movie marriage. No, Rocky's not a copula. Real life marriage. Rocky's a fictional character. You're right. Oh, guy who doesn't know things. You strike again. I can't help it. I was watching Bored to Death the other day, and I was enjoying Jason Schwartzman's performance, as I do, and I realized, like, this is a time in my life when I have to let go of this resentment for this opportunity that I've really only imagined myself having. Yeah, but you really build yourself up when you go out for a big movie like that. You start to even think you got it, you know, and you start imagining what life would be like. And certainly in the second or two between when I walked in the door with three or four other people and when they pointed at me and said, sorry, you're too tall.

I knew that I was going to star in a film that would go on to become one of my favorite films of all time. Which was? Rushmore. Okay. Was it crushing? Sorry.

Oh, is my thing okay? Yeah, you just got to not touch it. Okay. Oh, now it's off. Now I'm talking. Barp. Barp. Barp'm talking. Yep. Barp. Yep. Barp.

Barp. Penguin. Yep. What is that? Clip help? Okay. There we go. Is that good?

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Do you think you would enjoy the movie more or less if you were in it? I think I would probably enjoy it more if I was in it, Jordan. For one thing, I would have been paid handsomely. Yeah. Would you still have the podcast,

do you think, if you were in that movie? That's a good question. I might have become... Frankly, I'm probably not as talented as Jason Schwartzman. He would probably have the podcast, but his co-host would be Chloe Savigny. It would be more like that... I'd be on that podcast. It would be more like that guy, Ben, that we

went to college with, who was on The Secret Life of Alex Mack a little bit and played young Pat in its Pat the Movie. That would be my career, more than a Jason Schwartzman type career. Do you think you'd still be living in this place? Yeah, I'd probably still be living in this place. Yeah. No, that part, yeah. Absolutely.

Sure. Why not? I probably would have made it into Operation Dumbo Drop 2 also. Did they do it too? They would have. They would have, yeah. With the clout from Rushmore. And you're in Bill's relationship, obviously, after the movie.

Yeah, and me and Bill's. Everyone was saying... Chemistry that would have been so easy. We need another Murray Thorne vehicle. I mean, I bet... Would you think he would have been maybe a guest on your podcast if you had done that movie with him? He would have been sitting in Jordan's chair right now.

Yeah. This podcast would be hosted by me and Bill Murray, not me and Jordan. Sorry, Jordan. I just wouldn't have gone to college because i would have been to become a successful actor when i was still in high school i get it nick do you have any we've we've talked about roles that we have have narrowly just narrow that have narrowly uh evaded our grasps that we weren't qualified for do you do you have anything do you have do you have the one that got away um parks and rec oh parks and rec uh wow chris pratt the one that got away? Parks and Rec. Oh. Parks and Rec.

Wow. Chris Pratt. The role that he has. But I think he's really funny. He's so good, right? I was bitter about him for the first season. Right. And why wouldn't you be?

And then the second season came around. I really enjoyed him a lot. Because he's really good. Yeah. Really funny. It stinks when they're good because then you're like, oh, shit. And I remember seeing him in the audition room. And there was somebody else.

I probably shouldn't say who else was in it. Maybe they don't want everyone to know that they didn't get the part. But I remember in the waiting room just looking and thinking like, oh, yeah. It was Richard Simmons. Yeah, Richard Simmons. They were going to go a different direction. Yeah. They were looking at all different types.

We want to go a kind of different, gayer direction is what they said. Kind of a creepy, middle-aged madman. Yeah, that would go, that would be actually a good way for that show to go, I would imagine. Creepy middle-aged madman? They're coming back in January, right?

The Parks and Rec show? Yeah, they are coming back in January. I'm looking forward to it. Yeah, me too. They got our friend Adam Scott is going to be on that program regularly, I think.

Yeah, he came on at the end of that as the auditor or something. Something like that. Yeah. I don't know, but he's fantastic. Yeah, really.

He's great. A lot of great people involved in that television program. If you were on it, you'd get to hang around all the world's hottest comedy babes, too. Yeah. Believe me,

I've thought about that. They really loaded that show up with comedy babes. Sure. It kind of took all the comedy babes for their show. Nick Offerman alone, I mean,

what a babe. That guy is a babe. Quite a babe. Have you ever a babe. Quite a babe. Nick, have you ever auditioned for something like Jordan was describing with Marmaduke? Because this Marmaduke thing, everyone that we know auditioned to be Marmaduke. Al Madrigal was over here auditioning to be Marmaduke one time. Sure. After I interviewed him for the San Diego America or something, he's like,

hey, can I record a quick Marmaduke audition? Like, I don't see why not. And so a lot of people auditioned for Marmaduke. And then they just ended up hiring Owen Wilson. Have you ever auditioned for a role where they just ended up hiring, like, Tom Cruise or something like that? Like a big star? I'm trying to think. I know that, well, it was kind of before Jesse Eisenberg was big, but Zombieland.

Oh, yeah. No, no. Eisenberg had some heat going into that. Yeah, because he had what's it called? The one with Jeff Daniels. The Squid and the Whale. Squid and the Whale. Squid and the Whale was the winner. You would have been good in Zombieland.

That would have been fun. It would have been older. They went younger. I like to say they went younger. Okay. They just kind of went with what was probably better Do you feel that your beard affects the age of roles you get called for? I'll shave for stuff like that

In fact, I think I got a shave this week Just the face stuff? Yeah, facial Yeah, not my head Right No chest How old do you feel your junk looks? How old does your penis look?

I would shave down the whole thing Young 40? Not to look young, But just for aerodynamics Yeah Well yeah When you're in the audition You want to feel like Nothing's holding you back

Especially under your clothes You never know They might ask you to do A swim relay As part of an audition Let's do this next one shirtless Sure Absolutely

I actually saw 50 breasts 50 free When I went and When I went and interviewed Judd Apatow At the Judd Apatow offices For The Sound of Young America, Jesse Eisenberg was there. And at one point, we were setting up in Judd Apatow's office.

Judd wasn't in there yet. And Jesse Eisenberg opened the door and looked around and sort of gave us one of these. That's so good. Jesse is giving a kind of a quizzical look. One eyebrow up. But a sort of taut quizzical look. Like, kind of like, look who I am. He was basically like he just took a Jesse Eisenberg bazooka and silently blasted it

into our room. Just all over your face. And then closed it up without saying anything. He just Jesse Eisenberged his face right into that crack and just Jesse Eisenberg to the left, Jesse Eisenberg to the right. And then all of us were like, because we were blown over by his intensity. Kind of like if Michael Winslow had peeked his head in and just immediately started doing a helicopter noise. Yeah. He just did exactly what you expect him to do.

Exactly. The look. And hey, I'm not speaking ill of Jesse Eisenberg. I think he's wonderful. Nobody is. I love The Squid and the Whale. I enjoyed the Facebook film. Yeah.

Oh, you didn't like Zombieland? I've not seen Zombieland. Oh. But I bet I'd enjoy it. I think you would. Not big on zombies. The guy that directed it, Reuben Fleischer, did all my early short films. He made like six short films together.

Oh, wow. And then he produced my web series. Really? And then he went on to not cast you in zombie land. Yeah. I got Eisenberg. Yeah. You got to go with,

with a studio once. I mean, at least that's what they tell you. Did you at least like, did you say like, Hey, if you don't cast me as the lead, can I at least be a zombie?

That's what I would have said in the audition. Yeah. I think towards the end, he was going to ask me about that. And then he thought maybe that was going to be insulting. But I would have loved it. I would have loved it. You've got to put that up front.

You've got to put it up front so he knows it's not insulting. Yeah, yeah. A friend of mine did play a zombie in it. Now, if he had asked me to be a zombie in it, I would have been insulted. I want to make that clear. I'm bigger than that.

But I'm bigger than you. I'm pretty deep inside Hollywood. I understand. Yeah, yeah. I make it a point in every audition I go to, whether it be commercial, voiceover, what have you, I just say, hey, if there's any zombies in this, it's not beneath me to play one. I'm available. I actually said that at the time that I auditioned to be the voice of Jet Blue in radio commercials.

You said in case? I let them know that I'd be a zombie if they needed one. There wasn't anything in the script, but, you know, they're very hot in Hollywood right now. Sure. I could see maybe even do a quick zombie read for them, just in case it's something you guys want to rethink. Especially if it's a voiceover thing and you're sending

in a tape, you can record your straight read, or what I call your living read, and then your undead read at the end. Living and undead, that's good. I think it also kind of mixes it up and lets them know that you're open for anything and that you've got a great sensibility and, you know, sensitive guy.

And you also know what's hot. You know, because they want to put their finger on the pulse of America when they touch you. You know what I mean? Do they touch you when you come in? Yeah. And that's why I shaved down so they can feel the pulse. I don't want anything getting in between their fingertips and the pulse. Sure. The American pulse? Yeah, and that's why I shave down so they can feel the pulse. I don't want anything getting in between their fingertips and the pulse. The American pulse?

Yeah, absolutely. The one that drops through my veins. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, that we give all of our guests because it makes us look a little bit less like assholes for saying stupid nicknames ourselves. Why don't we do it again? You guys do yours, and then I'll come in with mine. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

Nick Thune, Honest Nick. Honest Nick Thune is here with us. Do you just want it to be Honest Nick Thune? Yeah, Honest Nick Thune might be better. Is that ironic because you're a shyster? Yeah, but people used to call me Honest Nick. Really? Like Honest Abe, but it's mostly because I was mostly lying to people.

Ah, right. But, you know, not for real lying purposes, just to mess around and have a good time. Sure, to steal money. Yeah, change the future. I met a guy named the gentleman farmer once oh how's that gentleman farmer it was pretty good he was mental i'd like to meet him he was a he was a public radio commentator from the northeast like i want to say like maine or something and from what i could tell a legend in maine but he'd recently been taken off the air i think it

was the gentleman farmer and somebody from maine is going to write in and correct me that his name wasn't there. But he just delivered on everything that you could hope he would be. Like he was wearing like a lumberjack shirt and suspenders. And a belt. The suspender belt combo. And like high water khaki pants. And was he talking about the government? Yeah.

The GOV apostrophe meant. Yeah. It was just sort of like, well, it's time to plant beans again. Oh, we're going to be headed out to the fields to plant ourselves some beans. Is he on a farm? Beans are good, honest food.

Honest Nick. Sure. You know about that. Did you guys have a good Thanksgiving? How was your Thanksgiving? Were you in Orange County, Jordan? Yeah, I went to Orange County. Kind of classic Morris family Thanksgiving.

Dinner, lunch around noon. Classic. Yeah, I know, right? Same old song and dance. Then movie. We always go to a movie on Thanksgiving. And the movie we saw was The Next Three Days. This is Russell Crowe saving Elizabeth Banks from jail.

And my mom did the classic mom slash parent thing where they mangle the name of popular movies. At the box office, she asked for tickets to Three's Company. Nailed it. I know. And I was worried that when we were going in, like maybe she doesn't know that this is a taut thriller and maybe thinks she's going to see some sort of update of Three's Company starring like Shia LaBeouf, Zooey Deschanel, and Emily Blunt.

Freudian slip, for sure. No, but she didn't seem to think it was. She just thought that was the name of it. It was the race company. We had our first ever Thanksgiving here in Los Angeles. We've been here, I mean, how long have we lived here, Jordan? We're looking at like four years now, right? Something like that. We actually invited

our family to join us. And they made it. My parents can't really be in the same room together, but my mom came, and my wife's They made it. And they made it. My parents can't really be in the same room together. But my mom came, and my wife's parents, and her younger brother, and younger sister, and her younger sister's boyfriend all came. They hooked hell it up? Yeah. This is a small apartment.

You can see that just from walking in here, Nick. You don't have to tell the listeners that. I have to... Okay. Look, I live in a... Honest Nick here. I live in a big... I live in a... Honest Nick here. I live in a big... I live in a palatial apartment, Nick, but I choose to put them up at the Ritz.

That's nice of you. Because they're going to enjoy the pampering. They come from hardworking, honest stock. Free USA Today at the door every morning. Or Wall Street Journal. All the infographics you can read. By the way, Nick, this hair tonic you sold me

is just giving me a rash. That's what it's supposed to do. Oh. When will the hair start growing? In about two days. By the way, Nick's got to leave tomorrow. Back up the medicine wagon.

Got to head out of town. So I cooked, which I had never done. And in fact, I had to launch, I didn't talk about fakes giving. I had to have a, I had to have fakes giving about two weeks ago, uh, because I had never even roasted a chicken. So you did a few, how'd you nail the turkey?

I mean, the first shot. Nailed it both times, motherfucker. Nice. Both fucking times. Nailed it. Just bake. You did the straight up bake it, right? I, yeah, we're roast. I would call it a roasting. Okay. Both fucking times. Nailed it. You did the straight up bake it, right? Yeah.

I would call it a roasting. Okay. You roasted it. Well, here's what I did. Roasting? First, I reached into the hole where its butt would be and pulled out the giblets and the gross neck. I reserved those for gravy.

Of course. I brined it overnight. I brought it out i dried it i applied salt and baking soap baking powder almost said baking soda that would have been a disaster oh man salt and baking powder to aid in the browning and the crisping of the skin i baked it roasted it so far the bake that to use your Turn of phrase Fucking great Who did the stuffing?

Oh I did I did the whole fucking nine yards You took it down Soup to nuts Was dinner here? By the way We had a non-traditional Thanksgiving dinner

It was turkey soup and nuts Well soup turkey nuts Yeah If you're soup to nuts Isn't that a Tyler Perry movie? It is yeah yeah Soup turkey nuts Yeah well Tyler Perry's soup turkey nuts. Yeah. If you're soup to nuts. Isn't that a Tyler Perry movie? It is, yeah, yeah. Soup turkey nuts? Yeah.

Well, Tyler Perry's soup turkey nuts. He is soup turkey nuts. From the novel Soup Turkey Nuts for Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide, based on the novel Push by Sapphire. I learned an important lesson while I was doing this. Was it for F-O-U-R? Or just... I think it's F-U-R or something. I just wanted to sock that sign. Sorry.

Yeah. No, that's fair. Just sock it. Does that make me a racist? Wanting to punch signs for Tyler Perry movies? No, because he's fucking embarrassing. Anyway.

I think that makes you racial. Yeah, sure. I think you're talking about the issues right there. Broasting? So you roasted it. What was the reception like what about a a broast could that be something that we we create and make a lot of money on selling to guys who were smearing off icing each other oh yeah maybe it's like when you when you roast one of your bros yeah you sit one of the bros down on the don't you fucking

steal this listeners don't you fucking steal this i listeners. Don't you fucking steal this. I will hunt you down and pull your giblets out of the hole where your ass used to be. I think it's a couple bros sitting down for a nice roast. Oh, like a nice pot roast? No, like a Comedy Central roast. Oh, just enjoying the pot roast. They broast each other.

Right, yeah, no, I think that's a great idea. It's not killing and cooking a college friend. No. No. No, okay. My family, when we have Thanksgiving, we get together for the meal. So everybody comes over to wherever it's going to be. This is both my mother and father's side of the family.

We get together for that meal, and then everyone leaves. Or, alternately, maybe, if it's my dad's side of the family, they go to a movie. My wife's family celebrates holidays this way. They come over on Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, and hang out all day. Trick each other into drinking smeared off ice. And then they all start talking, making jokes about each other's foibles. And they hang out all day on Wednesday. They come back on Thursday, hang out all day.

They come back on Friday and hang out all day. That was my whole weekend. There's no activities. There's no... It's just they enjoy each other's company. Not just seeing each other. And it's not just that they love each other. Because I love my family

And in fact I enjoy being with my family I think my family are great But I would typically Go see my family and then leave My wife's family just sits together For hours on end Scrabble? No, just talking

About scrabble About various board games But not playing them guitar somebody may be playing various board games but not playing them they actually don't play the board games they actually play mental scrabble where they have a they all know what the board looks like in their head right yeah they've the the need for the board has gone away they're spelling words out yeah it's it's a it was really it was kind of frankly frankly, overwhelming to me. And again, like, my wife's family is wonderful. We need a break, right?

Soup to nuts, my wife's family is wonderful. She has a, my wife has a... From little soup to grandma nuts. They're all great. But it was overwhelming to me. And I realized it's because there's no event like that in my family. And in fact, the only activity, the only going to a movie-like activity that they'll do on a holiday like this is going for a hike together. That's fun.

Is it? It's kind of. I guess. How often do they see each other, though? All the time. In that yeah no they this is something like like my wife and i had to deal with our different assumptions about holidays early on when at christmas it would be like i would be like yeah well we'll go to my dad's house then we'll go over to your parents house then we'll go to my mom's house or something and i'd be like we go to my dad's house at sleep over at my dad's house. Then we'll go over to your parents' house. Then we'll go to my mom's house or something. And I'd be like, we go to my dad's house at sleep over at my dad's house, maybe.

And we get up and open presents with the kids. And it's, you know, we leave at nine, go to my mom's house for lunch, and then go over to her parents' house for dinner or something like that, which is intense, but you know, it's what you got to do. But if you go to the Hossfeld family first, that's an all-day activity. Is there drinking involved? No. They're not even drunk. They don't drink?

No. They're very functional. That's another thing about this family. Highly functional family. They all are genuinely nice, all genuinely like each other. That's what I don't understand. What's the Offerman family Thanksgiving like? The Nick Offerman?

Oh, I said the name of the guy who's role... Oh, boy. What a jerk. I apologize. You do follow... You do follow Offerman, though, right? What's his Thanksgiving like? He has a great Thanksgiving. Real healthy. Megan Malloy. You know... Malally. Malally.

Yeah, Malally's there. Megan Malally. She's there. She's doing a broad but genuinely funny characterization. My family is – my family, my wife's family, they all live in the same – like the Seattle area. So it's kind of we split it the whole time. But we stay at my parents' for Thanksgiving. That kind of makes it worse, right? It's just overwhelming.

It's real tiring. We got thereuesday and left this morning i flew back this morning um a lot of drinking that's always interesting because i i uh i could never imagine have even having a i have a hard time like ordering a drink at a restaurant when i'm with my mom because i'm so because she's such a teetotaler. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. So when I hear stories about people who are like, oh, me and my family just get ripped and I go behind the house and smoke a joint with my brother, like that is so amazing to me. Is this something that you guys do? Yeah, it's a lot like what we do.

Yeah, but we don't get too ripped. Okay. Actually, this year we kept it down a little bit. Yeah. But you have gotten ripped in the past. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, and it's been like never you know, never throwing up type of situation

Have you ever gotten lit? I've gotten lit up, yeah I got lit up, we got ripped Dad smokes you out? A couple times Dad smokes cigars That's happened the past two years Oh, cool

So he likes to come out, because I smoke cigarettes So he likes to come out now and smoke with me Oh, that's fun Which is, you know, it snowed in Seattle So we had sleds, we were sledding down the hill I was playing the old trick, like, hey, go tell Snow in Seattle in So we had sleds. We were sledding down the hill. I was playing the old trick like, hey, go tell... Snow in Seattle in Thanksgiving? That's probably pretty unusual, right?

Yeah, it's a good sign for a lot of snow this year up there. Yeah. There was the old trick that I pulled in about five people where I would have my brother go up to them and say, hey, I need you to come outside and help me carry this in for my car for dinner. These plates my mom wanted me to bring. There are five steps outside. I've got four snowballs around the corner, just snowball party.

Every time. Every time. Never got old. SBP. SBP. Were there any consequences for drinking at the Thune household this year? No arguments. The only slight argument that happened was, because we all have a lot of dogs there.

I brought my dog up. My parents have two dogs. My brother-in-law and sister have two big dogs, and they've got two babies, twins. And so it's just like dogs all over the house. We're all staying at my parents' house. And there was a dog fight between my dog and brother-in-law's dog. Oh, wow. And he actually said—

Because one dog is really conservative, and one dog is really liberal, and Obama came up. It got political. It didn't get political, actually, all Because one dog is really conservative and one dog is really liberal. And Obama came up. It got political. It didn't get political actually all weekend, which is nice. With my mom, it will go bad. What's her slant? Just not knowing. Okay.

Just general confusion about politics. But definitely knowing as far as she's concerned. Okay. Yeah. Gotcha. Yeah. So the dogs got into it. Dogs got into it and he said to me – because encouraged it they started to go at it and he's got like a huge black lab named morris

and i've got a small french bulldog named mikey just for reference sure sure mikey picture mikey's starting to go at it with morris and and i go get him like because i like to encourage they're playing they're not fighting they're playing yeah and then i got the old from from from the brother-in-law come on man don't encourage that don't encourage that and so i just kind of sat there and took it and didn't say anything because i've we've gotten into it before try try to be and then uh two minutes later i try to be what are you about six three six four six four i am taller than him Although he is definitely a little bit more cordial than I am I say what's on my mind a lot more often And he kind of just hides in the corner

I just assumed that you were going to say He is a little bit more burly than I am He is, he is definitely He could probably take me out in a fight But he's nice enough not to And they got into it again And this time my mom Somebody said to me, Nick, stop it.

I just said, I'm not the dog guy. So I don't know why people keep saying, Nick, don't do this. I'm not in charge of the dogs, so thank you. I just walked out and had a cigarette. It was one of those moments like, there goes Nick again. Classic Nick. I was outside smoking thinking, why did I have to do that? Then it's a constant apology for the rest of the day this sounds surprisingly this sounds surprisingly uh

rancorous for something that you presented as uneventful oh there was a lot that happened but that was the only thing that really happened i mean shit was going down him and i were fine the rest of the time didn't you also almost get arrested though yeah last night uh-huh yeah last night i got i got uh pulled over and and full-on dui check checked because i was speeding going 11 over and uh it was pouring down rain so i'm doing this dui test in the rain my wife's got the window rolled down she's watching the whole thing and the cop said you know he asked me if i've been drinking it would be funny if she had the window rolled down but she was just boredly like looking at the newspaper He's not even paying attention.

The newspaper that's getting wetter and wetter. There goes Nick again. Getting drunk. My brother's a local cop. So believe me, I was dropping my brother's name. And then also my wife's got my brother on the phone, on speakerphone, and he's listening to the whole thing happen as much as he can. Oh, wow. He's telling her it's okay, it's okay.

Is he drunk? And I thought that I was. I thought that I might have been too drunk. I couldn't tell. You just get so scared. Sure did you what did you had to drink uh some wine some red wine at my mother-in-law's thai food which i think is what saved me no as i call you right you're right a little bit a little bit of vino um very good italian from from from italiana right sure the shoe country yep very nice the land of the cake boss oh is the cake boss from there uh you know i don't know yeah there's really no way to tell where the cake

boss is from i can't recall what i just get what his i've seen the previous cultural background and i hate his wife just based off those previous you know what everyone on that show is awful everyone is um so i got cakes i got the eye test where they put a pen up. And then after that, I did the steps. And the funny thing about the steps was you have to take nine steps, count them out, turn around, take nine back. And right in front of the left foot. And he told me specifically. And the main thing my brother has told me before is it's all about rules.

The things they're telling you, the walking, people can walk straight when they're drunk it's just about following the rules and if you do that then they are they're understanding that you're cognizant sure so when he was giving me the example of the steps he did three sample steps and he tripped on the third step and and i fully said to him i go but you can't even do it and he gave me this look like oh well just well, just go. No, we had a good rapport going. I was being charming, so I was trying to be charming like I was in an audition or something. So like a classic comedy rapport, like dumb guy and industry guy. Exactly. Classic.

I was a charming, I might be drunk, please don't ruin my life right now sort of a thing. But giving him respect, not pulling punches, letting him know when he trips. Sure. Sure, yeah. You're not afraid to give him a little elbow to the lips, President Obama style.

This is where my stage comes in hand, my stage experience comes in hand. Right, right. Another cop pulled up. People were actually pulling up and watching this stuff too, because it was right in front of a little AM, PM type store. Anybody have their dick out? Unfortunately, no.

Yeah. I could have. Tell me about it. Maybe two more glasses of vino had you ever been had you ever been pulled over and never had to do this i had to do this the only time uh i got i got a speeding ticket recently on highway 5 between san francisco and los angeles but before that the only time that i'd been pulled over was like the week that i got my driver's license i was like 20 years old something like that oh late bloomer and i had a

uh i had bought an el camino i had this v8 el camino that had this huge engine but it was also um crazy heavy and sluggish so it was sort of like you had to go to get it to go highway speeds driving over the highway 17 in um uh santa cruz uh pouring rain the highway 17 is like this nightmare mountain pass road um it's just terrifying hairpins that's where you go between the 101 and yeah it's how you get basically between san jose and santa cruz you go over this through this mountain range and uh it was horrifying and i was doing a terrible job and and for one thing when that when the cop put his lights on behind me uh i didn't know what that i didn't know what that meant i didn't know that

meant i was supposed to pull over and so i'm looking at him won a contest i thought well maybe i was in his way or something hey i thought i might be in his way gift card i've got an escort yeah yeah i thought i might be in his way like I'm like terrified because I'm like hunched over. It's pouring rain in this treacherous mountain pass. I've just learned to drive. I'm driving this new car. It's an 82 El Camino. I'm like horrified.

I'm doing a terrible job. And finally, I realize he's trying to pull me over. And I pull over onto this place where it's basically just around a curve and there's almost no shoulder. I pull over onto this place where it's basically just around a curve and there's almost no shoulder. And the cop like knocks on my window and he says, sir, why didn't you pull over when I asked you to pull over? And I was like, honestly, I didn't know that I was supposed to pull over. I was trying to figure out what I was supposed to do. That's what they like to hear right off the bat. Yeah, I know.

You're playing my guy. My guy doesn't know much. My guy doesn't know much. The guy doesn't know anything. And then he goes, sir, why did you pull over here where there's almost no shoulder and we're just around a blind curve? And I was like, I don't know. I'd never pulled over before. I've been driving this car since I got my license.

And then he made me do the, he said, sir, have you been drinking? And I was like, no, sir, I don't even drink, which I don't. And he said, I'm going to have to ask you to do. And he made me get out and do the like nose things and stuff. And I could do all of those. And then I just said to him, he said, have you been drinking? And I literally said to this guy, no, I think I'm just kind of a bad driver. To which he said, it's not illegal

to be a bad driver. And so there was nothing he could do to give me a ticket. He let me go. They should put a law in place for that. Bad driver law?

Well, then all the women would be in jail. Am I right, fellas? To say nothing of the Asians. Yeah. Hello. My mother-in-law would be the first one

in the slammer. Yeah. I wouldn't want to have to drive, sit in the passenger seat when she's behind the wheel. Nailed it. Thanks, guys. Classic. Would you say that's as classic as the old guy who's deep in the industry and the dumb guy routine?

Yeah, I mean, this show's about timeless comedy. People think it's like, you know, some hipsters making jokes about jokes. Something that you know is going to be vintage. No, this is about classic comedy. This is something that's going to last. It will be vintage someday. This is going to last. There's going to be people listening to this at their local library audio visual section.

It's got a vintage feel now, but in the future it's going to literally be a vintage. Hey, Nick Thune, I just hit you with a chicken. A rubber chicken. Oh, man. Dead arm. Anyway, we're having a lot of fun. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Can't wait.

It's Jordan, Jesse Go, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Nick Thune, Honest Nick. It's great to have you here, Honest Nick. Thank you. Look, would Honest Nick lie to you, Jordan? Ah, I mean, I should hope not. Hey, I'm not gonna lie.

Then I don't know what to believe. Well, it's a good thing that he's here, because he's the trusted man in America because we have a sponsor on this week's Jordan Jesse Go. It is Traffic Cycle Design. Traffic Cycle Design, online at trafficbikes.com. This gentleman, who's a big Jordan Jesse Go fan named Spencer, was a student at the University of California at Santa Cruz when we were in college. First listened to the Sound of Young America on our original station, KZSE. He has gone on

to move to New York City. Maybe you've heard of it. I have not. Please explain it to me later. You would know it as New Amsterdam. Oh, okay. Sure. It's where I take my barrels to get their bung holes. That's a good slogan.

Funny that you mentioned that. That's actually the slogan of traffic cycle design. Really? That's where I take my barrels to get my bung holes? Yeah. Anyway, this gentleman, Spencer, he builds bikes, and if builds bikes suggests in your mind

probably putting together various bicycle parts, right? I imagine he's in a factory. This guy is putting together this man actually literally builds the bikes. He's in welds sections of tubing together. He welding he's welding he's he make the screws and make the bolts on his own it's like a bespoke bicycle this is a guy who's

like measuring the length of the inside of your leg and getting a sense of your of your stance exactly your applications adjusting angles engineering engineering, fusing, painting, adding brakes. Fixed gear? Is he doing fixed gear bikes? He's doing fixed gear bikes. He's doing geared bikes. This guy's doing any fucking kind of bike you want. That's the bespoke bicycle experience.

But I don't even know how I could get something like this. If I were you, and I wouldn't be so presumptive as to suggest that I am you, especially with you here. That would be crazy. Sure. For a voiceover audition, would I say I'm Nick Thune, the guy who's been in a few network television pilots? Yeah, why not?

Bring him out. But in this situation, you're here, and I wouldn't do that. Trafficbikes.com. And not only that, he also wanted us to point out, by the way, that he does not wear spandex when he rides bicycles. And he does not build bicycles exclusively for spandex people, as he plans. He will.

He wanted to make it clear that he loves to make bikes for normal people, not just crazy bicycle people. Nothing against crazy bicycle people. Our friend Matt Howey from Metafilter, he does something called cyclocross, which I think involves a velodrome. Oh, I love a velodrome. I don't know exactly what it is,

but I know that it doesn't involve a velodrome. Stop emailing. Get your hands off that keyboard. Stop emailing me. He wants us to know that he's making these for all kinds of people young old fat thin etc etc and if you mention jordan jesse go to him you get 10 off so you can either order a ready-made bike from his website which again is trafficbikes.. Or you can drop him a line. The contact information is at TrafficBikes.com for a custom bike. And either way, mention JordanJesseGo, get a 10% discount.

The code for the website, JJGo. And he's going to hand make that. He's going to make that with his own two hands. This gentleman in his shop in New York City is going to weld tubes and forks. What if a 127- hour situation with him happens, would he be able to build bikes still? Yes, absolutely.

Of course. Of course. Technology the way it is. Yeah. Yeah. He'd get a prosthetic. He'd probably be better. He could probably get an arm with a welding thing at the end of it,

like a welding, a blowtorch at the end of it, a polypropylene torch. Ah, it's probably going to be easier for them to make bikes at that point. Absolutely. You put the match in one hand, the torch in the other on the stump, and you just get it lit.

You fuse the tubes, bespoke bicycle experience, TrafficBikes.com. Hey, if you want to sponsor an upcoming episode of Jordan, Jesse, Go, it's $100 for your personal message, $150 for your commercial message, and we'll throw it in. Just email Teresa at MaximumFun.org, T-H-E-R-E-S-A. And by the way, we will accept longer orders, et cetera, et cetera. We will fit your promotional needs.

Absolutely. Teresa at MaximumFun.org. You know my beautiful wife, Teresa. What if I just have a website and I'm just promoting myself? Absolutely. We get a lot of that. People got podcasts. People got web comics.

People got blogs. People got web businesses. We will not just promote hard goods. No. It's not just hard goods. Imaginary things that you can't touch. Yes. Ideas. Concepts. You'll promote hard goods. No, it's not just hard goods. We will not promote hard... Imaginary things that you can't touch. Yes, yeah.

Ideas, concepts. You'll promote an idea. Yeah, like Fair Play. If you just want us to talk about Fair Play. $100 unless you're making money off it, then $150. If you're selling Fair Play-related goods, and you want us to promote Fair Play in the interest of promoting the sales of Fair Play goods... What about Foul Play?

The movie. No, no. Yes. Look. Foul Play, Fair Game, either the Daniel Baldwin, Cindy Crawford movie, or the recent movie about Valerie Plain. Either one. Either Fair Game we will promote.

Now, what if somebody wants to call them and say, you know what, I just love firefighters. I want to promote them. Yeah. Sure. Yeah, absolutely. Now, would we take an anti-firefighter ad? wants to call them they say you know i just love firefighters i want to promote them yeah sure yeah absolutely now would we take an anti-firefighter ad yes probably okay but we'd point out that they're america's real heroes before slamming them besides four trucks well they make they make

they didn't spend all that time shining their fucking fire trucks maybe they could teach our kids a thing or two about how to read. All that time. Like a real hero. Spending all that time in those calendar photo shoots. Yeah, I know. Getting sexy for those calendars. Maybe we should have her.

Jordan, you probably remember our greatest animal showdown. I do. Maybe we should have our greatest civil servant showdown. Sure. Who's better? Librarians? Firemen? Teachers?

Postal workers? Who's the best? Yeah. Tax collectors? That would be a great reality show. Assessors? I don't know much about the industry. I'm just saying I think that would be a good reality show.

Comp trollers? Look, I'm deep inside the industry, and I can tell you the key to this whole thing is comp trollers. Guys. Blart. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, boy detective. Nick Thune, honest Nick. Great to have Nick Thune here with us. Nick, are you up to stuff besides your stand-up comedies right now? I know you were recently cast in a network television pilot. Yep. They've got two shows, actually, that I'm creating right now. Fantastic.

One for NBC, and then I'm doing one for MTV, too. Oh, wow. Two shots. Because you're very funny and handsome. Oh, thank you. MTV as well. MTV Trace you. Or MTV, too. MTV as well. MTV Trace? Yeah, MTV Ocho.

Yeah. Yeah, no, the MTV one I've got a little more control over. You're working on something with a very funny Spike Ferriston. That's right. From talk show with Spike Ferriston, past Sound of Young America guest, very funny man, invented the soup Nazi. Mm-hmm.

I mean, he didn't invent him out of whole cloth. Mm-hmm. He abstracted him and... Out of ideas and... Yeah. Thoughts. And a man, a real man. And a guy.

Yeah. From time to time on this program, basically every week, we ask our listeners to call in when something momentous happens to them for a segment called Momentous Occasions. Ask our listeners to call in when something momentous happens to them for a segment called Momentous Occasions. Telephone number 206-984-4FUN. 206-984-4FUN. Which is a Seattle number. It is indeed.

We have a few telephone calls from listeners right here. Why don't we take a listen? Hey, Jordan, Jesse Goh. It's Davidson, North Carolina. I have a somewhat belated, momentous occasion. I was out this weekend with my girlfriend and some friends at a comedy club, and then we got a text that said that a drunk person had driven their car into my girlfriend's house. And it's quite momentous, I must say. So, yeah, keep up the good work.

Thank you very much. Bye. I think that's the kind of thing that happens. Nick, you're a comedy performer. You've performed in comedy clubs across this great nation. Mostly people's cars, people's houses are getting run into by cars, right? Yeah, people are getting a lot of texts during shows. I've always been curious as to what they were.

Now I know. All you've noticed is that they're crying a lot. I wouldn't be surprised if that comedian did that on purpose as kind of like their closer. Right. Had his friend ram the guy's house with a car. Here's the key question for this guy, and it's too bad he's not live on the line. Was it D.L. Hughley? Because D.L.'s known for pulling that kind of shit.

He is. He is. He's known for that. Hughley, if he's known for one thing, it's that. It's that, and it's also for having that show on the D.L. Right, on the D.L., D.L. Hughley. That's the second thing he's's that. It's that, and it's also for having that show on the DL. Right, on the DL, the DL Hughley. That's the second thing he's known for. Weekends on the DL, was that what they were called?

Sure. On the download, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, download. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and possible wonderful guests who may be slated for the next show. I'm Nate from Rochester, New York, and I have a rather horrible, momentous occasion to

bring to you guys. I went to work today expecting to be able to listen to the newest podcast of Jordan Chessie Go and found out that my company now blocks all Sound of Young America podcasts,

Maximum phone podcasts. So quite terrible. And I sincerely ask you guys, what is the world coming to? Okay, thanks guys. Great show. Bye. I ask you this.

Okay. Do you think that this is related to the porno stuff we've been doing? I mean, the pornographic videos stuff we've been doing. Off? I mean, the pornographic videos that I've been posting? Yeah, watching? Is this because we've watched porno and God is punishing us? Well, we have been... I mean, we've been making and distributing pornos. But like special, like tasteful, special interest pornos.

Give me an example. Just like foot stuff. You know Give me an example Just like Like foot stuff You know Like somebody's shitting on a foot For couples Yeah Good for couples

There's a lot of relationship stuff in there Yeah Now was that a plant That you guys set up right there? That guy Or was that a No not at all No no no

Could we do this Could we put up Another site Uh huh That's just like It's a mirrored site. It's just the porno stuff so we don't get in trouble

with the spam blocker. Yep. It's blocking, trying to block podcasts because it figures nobody likes podcasts. No. Sure.

Especially not while working. That's a good site. So we have an all porn site for just for this guy to go to at work. So it's safe for the blockers and everything. And then our site,

we'd keep the porn on our site, right? I've got an idea for the name of it. Yeah. the blockers and everything. And then our site, we keep the porn on our site, right? I've got an idea for the name of it. Yeah, Sound of Young America Fucking. That's a good idea. That's a good name. Hi, Jordan, Jesse Go. This is Critty in Toronto.

I am calling with a momentous occasion. I am on my way to a first date, a first blind date, and my first date in two years. So I'm pretty psyched, and I wanted to call and share it with you guys. I'll call and let you guys know how it goes. If you don't hear back from me, it means I'm getting laid. Have a good one. Bye. I resent the fact that you can't find time,

and you're busy getting laid scheduled to call us. I agree. You should tell the fella to hold on or just perform cunnilingus on you for a while while you make an important call. Absolutely. There's no reason

you can't call us with a dick in your mouth. No. Yeah. That's not taking your fingers. Or, I mean, unless you use specifically voice style

all the time. It's certainly momentous. It's been two years. Yeah. So... That depends on what kind of service she's getting in the room that she is sucking his dick in. Oh, yeah. If it's AT&T, look out.

Right. It depends on bars. Yeah. You're going to need several bars. Can you hear me now? I'm kidding. Hi, Jordan, Jesse Go. This is Critty from Toronto again.

I just wanted to say that I went on my date, and it was super nice, and we had a good time, but I did not sleep with him. I think I will maybe wait for the next date. I don't know. I don't know. We got stoned. We watched Dirty Rock. It was pretty fun.

Made out a little bit, but then I failed. Anyway, just thought I'd let you know in case you were dying to know. Bye. What seems unusual to me, and maybe I don't understand

modern women. Right. But, and maybe this is a Canadian thing, but second date, that seems relatively soon. I feel like she, And maybe this is a Canadian thing But Second date That seems relatively soon I feel like she felt a little bashful That she didn't give it up on the first date

She was like apologizing to us That she didn't have sex with him I only made out and smoked pot I don't know That seems pretty reasonable I mean you know pretty deep Jordan have you ever dated a Canadian chick? No They're fuck crazy A lot of people don't know that about Canadian chicks Pretty reasonable. I mean, you know, pretty deep. Jordan, have you ever dated a Canadian chick? No.

They're fuck crazy. Oh, I bet. A lot of people don't know that about Canadian chicks. I found this out from our Canadian pals at Stop Podcasting Yourself. These two guys, number one, no vulgarity is too vulgar for them. Sure. Number two, in the United States, kiss and tell is bad news. In Canada, that's the rule.

Yeah. The rule is. You better tell. And what I found out from them is that In Canada, that's the rule. Yeah. The rule is... You better tell. And what I found out from them is that in Canada, women are fuck crazy. Wow. I think everyone is fuck crazy besides Americans. Right?

Oh. It's true. We're one of the most repressed... If you ask me, we're one of the most repressed societies in the world. Anyway, guys, I'm going as Hunter S. Thompson for Halloween. I think it's going to be pretty fun 2011 I liked her I liked her

She has a winning attitude She's going to mix it up Watch 30 Rock, Smoke Pot I'm curious if they watch on Hulu Did he have stuff DVR'd Those are questions I would have asked Did they just make sure to be in the house by 9.30 when it starts When does 30 Rock even come on in Canada

Further questions Wouldn't a girl be turned off by that though Like oh this guy brought me back He smoked pot with me and we watched a TV show Like that's something my brother It's 30 Rock though That's the best TV show Madam you sound like a catch

I'm just going to say that right now You sound like a delight. Oh, look. So you should wait until the third or fourth date to give it up. All we know is 30 Rock and fuck crazy. But are there any other qualities that a woman needs? I think that's what a man is looking for, right? I know a ton of guys that she would like.

Yeah. Right off the bat. Totally. They've got dicks and they love 30 Rock. Do they have pot, though? I wonder if she brought the pot. she doesn't she didn't bring the pot no there was just some pot around i noticed when she said that when she said the smoked pot watched 30 rock you kind of gave a little glance like oh i like this girl she seems fun yeah look i'm a married man but and i don't smoke pot

you do enjoy 30 Rock. It's just the 30 Rock. Yeah, 30 Rock is what got you going. Here we go. Hi, Jesse. It's Doug from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Oh, and hi, Jordan. Two probably.

Momentous occasion. Just registered for MaxFunCon. Third year in a row. It'll be great. Thanks. Now, Jordan, you go to MaxFunCon for free. You go on the house because you're teaching. You're performing.

Sure. So I don't know if you knew this, but the MaxFunCon tickets just went on sale this past weekend. As we record this, it's Sunday night. We put the tickets on sale on Friday, Black Friday. MaxFunCon, more than three quarters full. Wow. Already. Record?

Biggest shopping day of the year. That's true. I've heard that. It's been totally batty. Wow. Already. Record? Biggest shopping day of the year. That's true. I've heard that. It's been totally batty. On the news. I mean, granted. Did we have some great door busters? Yes. 50-inch plasmas? Yes. HD DVDs? Yes. Any obsolete

technology you want. We've got it. Yeah. Mini-disc players. I am totally amazed at how many two people from australia have already written that they're coming on the forum um it's really like it's really turning into an extravaganza i just say this because i know that like last year when things when tickets sold out all these people emailed me like oh i need to get in etc etc this is your chance yeah we haven't even announced the guests yet. It's raining men.

Yeah. It doesn't. The guests are, the guest is, our guest is CeCe Penniston. Sure. She didn't, who sings It's Raining Men? Did it from BB and CeCe? BB and CeCe, the whinins? That's the whinins.

The singers? I don't know. Those are whinins. I don't know. Those are Winans. I don't know who sings with Richard. They really are? I think those are Winans. Oh, okay. Don't get mixed up.

Okay. I'm talking about CeCe Penniston. I think she sings I'm Coming Out, but I might be mistaken. We're talking about black ladies that sing for gay men. Not the Winans, though. The Winans aren't for gay men. But the song I'm coming out is for gay men Right

Yes, no one ever said that it wasn't Wait a minute Oh Now I get it Sorry, am I talking too much Hollywood It's a lot of insider info Yeah Anyway, MaxFunCon

It's more than three quarters full now. There are only a few dozen beds left. So if you are planning on coming, get your button gear, MaxFunCon.com. You can watch the little video that Jordan hosts. Sure. Wonderful video put together by our friend Ben Harrison. As I said before, I don't like the length of my hair in the video. Uh-huh.

Well, you feel it's a middling length. Yeah, I don't know. It's just neither here nor there, you know what I'm talking about? Where are you at right now? How do you feel about what you got? This is longer than normal. I think this is fine, very castable. It's commercial season.

I don't know if you know that, Nick. You have TV pilots, so you're not going out on a lot of commercials. Yeah, because they also crush me. Yeah, oh, yeah, and they're awful. Yeah, sure, and they make you want to commit commercials. Yeah, because they also crush me. Yeah, oh, yeah, and they're awful. Yeah, sure, and they make you want to commit suicide. Yeah, yeah, I get that. Yeah, I think this is on the longer side, but I think it's fine.

I want to say we are presently working on the guests. We have confirmed some guests about whom people will be very excited. However, we are not yet prepared to announce the guests we are holding on to the list of guests at the moment because we want the people that are there we want the people at max fun con to be people who are there for MaxFunCon. Not people who are... Not Tom Cruise. Jordan! Oh boy. Oh boy. We agreed that we were going to call him... Was that an announcement?

Code name, Katie Holmes' husband. Oh boy. Suri's father, right? Yeah, Suri's father. Suri's daddy. See? See? Nick Offerman over here.

Reference. Yeah. Anyway, MaxFunCon.com. Tomorrow here at MaxFunCon headquarters, MaximumFun.org headquarters, where we are, as this episode is released, Teresa and the whole MaxFun crew will be in our living room putting together the special gift packages that MaxFun Con registrants will receive. I don't think we expected to sell so many tickets so fast. And so we have a lot of beautiful boxes to assemble, letterpress cards and crinkle paper to put inside, and then mailing boxes to put those inside so that people can have happy Christmases.

Because people are going to get these under their trees because they're beautiful. In the end, that's what you want. You just want somebody to have a good Christmas. Look, that's what this is all about. We are simply having a wonderful Christmas time. Yep. That song's fucking horrible, by the way. God, yeah, why is it so popular?

Why do people like that song? Do people just like Paul McCartney so much that they feel obliged to like that song? It makes me feel like a robot's molesting me. Did you say merlesting? I did say merlesting. That's a magical kind of molesting that a wizard does.

It's like when you get somebody wine. A little merlot. A little merlest. Every time I hear that song i feel like i have to like go run to youtube and put on this christmas by donnie hathaway just to wash simply having a wonderful christmas time off of myself there's gonna be a nice christmas song coming out tomorrow actually the really comedy death rate christmas album release of uh now you're a compilation you're a well-known guitar comic.

Best known for your song parodies. All of my parodies, yeah. No, you do play the guitar, however. And are you featured on the Comedy Death Ray album? I've got a song on it. But then tomorrow, I think they're coming out with the group video. Oh. Because last year we did Do They Know It's Christmas?

Yeah. And this year we did a We Are the World rendition. Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah. And this year we did a We Are the World rendition. Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah. That's really beautiful. Whom else is involved when you say comedy death ray? And when you say tomorrow, that will be the day that we release this podcast. Yeah.

It's going to be out there. I think there's a lot. Like Galifianakis is on it. Zach Galifianakis. Sure. Sure. I think there's like Adam Scott. I think there's a lot.

Like over 30 people. Zach Galifianakis from the film Out Cold Yes Gotcha Best known for his work on Apartment 4F Or 2F What was that?

True Calling I think you're thinking of True Calling Oh yeah True Calling That's right Yeah WB Thinking of Liquid Television

Who else are we got in there? We got Doug Benson Doug Benson will be there Brian Posehn Chris Hardwick Mike Furman Mike Furman produced it. Oh, yeah.

Him and Aukerman. Amy Mann's going to be in it. I just met Amy Mann the other night. Delightful. Delightful woman. A beautiful woman as well. Sat behind her at a booth at Little Dom's not too long ago. Sounds fun.

We had fun bits going over the booths, kind of keeping up on what we were talking about. Just doing some little bits with each other. Yeah. She looks like she'd enjoy having fun joking around. She likes comedy. She's a big comedy fan. Yeah. Well, that's great. Yeah, it'll be a good... And I know all the proceeds go to... People can buy that at

nickofferman.com? Yep, nickofferman.com. Parksandrec.org. All the proceeds, I think they go to lesser people than us in some form. The lesser. People who need a hand up. Hand up. People who need a hand up.

I like that hand up. Oh my gosh, look at the wind out there. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you,, Honest Nick. Honest Nick, it's been really a pleasure to have you on this week's program. Thank you. It's been a pleasure being here. Nick Thune, let's just say people want to enjoy, say, your comedy stylings. Might they go to nickthune.com? Yep, I have that URL. Might they purchase the compact disc DVD combo pack Thick Noon?

I would love for them to do that. That would help me out, especially at the end of the year. A lot of best, 10 best comedy albums. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I need as many people to, you know, send in their submissions to all those contests. I believe, and Nick, if this isn't true, if this turns out not to be true, please forgive me for saying this on the air. I'll just say it's true either way.

Embarrassing. You're gay, right? I believe that there is some comedy from your album Thick Noon featured on the Sound of Young America's Best Comedy of the Year special, which will be heard on public radio stations around the country.

Oh, that's nice. Certainly, I can say, one of the best comedy releases of the year. Fantastic, very funny album. And we can all write letters to MDV Trace and hope that they pick up your program I really hope so here's hoping huh

if they want to see a taste of the program nicksbigshow.com oh nicksbigshow.com it's a web series yeah that I made I think it was you got Kate Micucci

Jeff Garland 80 miles talking about 80 miles from the head writer of the late night with Jimmy Fallon program that's right we're talking about

Jeff Garland from Curb Your Enthusiasm? Same one. Kate Mancucci, Comedy Babe? Yes. Oh, boy. Paul Scheer, Nick Kroll. Comedy Babes?

Both Comedy Babes. Is that Kate Mancucci? Is she on Twitter? Because she's got those big eyes that are the key to Twitter success. Yeah, she's got huge eyes. Just monstrous eyes. I think her Twitter pic is actually this, too. Just sort of like an owl close up.

Yeah. Also ukulele. Yeah. That helps. Those are the two keys. She scored with that thing. Yeah. Mm hmm.

Um, max fun con.com. If you want to get some max fun con tickets, uh, Hey, uh, we're in episode four of the judge, John Hodgman podcast.

I think things are coming together nicely. I hope that you will, uh, give it a listen and let us know what you think. Uh can find it on MaximumFun.org or just search for Judge John Hodgman in iTunes. It is the latest podcast in the MaximumFun.org family. It features Judge John Hodgman becoming surprisingly serious about surprisingly trivial disputes. I think that's how it would probably be best described. Just by the way, heartily endorsed by Boing Boing. Hey.

Boing Boing gave us a big shout out. I'm very excited about that. The internet? Yeah. Oh, yeah. The kings of the internet. Yeah. These people are the kings of the internet.

Jordan, you know that because Shani was here and she rocked a cash box. She ruled the school. Yeah, sure. She tore it down. She blew down the kings of the internet. Jordan, you know that because Shunny was here and she rocked her cash box. She ruled the school. She tore it down. She blew down the walls of Jericho with her trumpet people. Hey, my meetup's coming together. Hey, Jordan, do you think you could get some of Nick Thune's family to show up? Maybe I can. Nick, to fill you in, sorry.

We're doing a lot of inside baseball stuff here at the Tape Tailor, but it's just business, house cleaning stuff. You understand. I understand. Jesse, when he travels, will have a listener meetup.

Apparently they've been fun. I question whether or not that's true. I will now... We've had as many as 40 people come to a meetup. Oh, wow. Like a bar or a restaurant? Sure. We're talking about bars.

We're talking about ice cream places. Car dealerships. So far, it's mostly been bars and an ice cream place. Yeah. My meetup will be December 17th in Seattle, Washington, home of the Thunes. And this is good because when I mentioned that I was officiating a wedding in Seattle, Washington, people started planning a meetup for me without my approval or knowledge.

Guys, just transfer a little bit of that energy over into Jordan's meetup. Well, I think you're going to benefit because I put the kibosh on it because I'm not going to be in town long enough. Sure. And I've got to do this wedding and everything. Transfer this energy into the best meetup

of all time, venue TBD. Sure. Can I give you some suggestions? Yeah, actually, I might even pull the trigger on one based on your suggestion.

Nick, this is a Saturday night, or excuse me, a Friday night in Seattle. Where is somewhere that might be... What type of vibe do you want? Thune house.

Yeah, thune house. Bring it over. You get fucking stoned with dad. Have a big cigar. Something fun and lively, but to where a conversation can take place. Okay. Because, you know, we want talking and conversing to be a big part of this. And a nice and a good,

what you really are looking for is a place that will run a tab for people, will let you have separate checks. That's like a really key. How about a pho place? A nice pho place. Everybody gets soup. I don't know if a meal is what I'm looking for.

It's too much commitment. Although I might want to know about a nice pho place for while I'm in Seattle. I've't know if it's too much commitment. Although I might want to know about a nice place for while I'm in Seattle. I've got an idea. Okay. Capitol Hill. Seattle's the gateway to the Pacific, so it's a good place for fun. Sure. It's also in the great Northwest.

Sure. In the Puget Sound area. Capitol Hill on Broadway. Something they have in Seattle, totem poles. Underground. Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. No, no, there's a lot of- It's true, though, they do.

Yeah. Sad but true. Yeah, I didn't mean to disturb you. No, no, there's a lot of... It's true, though. They do. Yeah. Sad, but true. Yeah, it is sad. Randy Johnson. Randy Johnson. Just Jay Buhner. Yeah, Jay Buhner. Buhner.

He's got the power arm from Redfield, Jordan. Sorry if we're getting too inside baseball for you. It is getting a little inside baseball. Broadway. Yeah. I like this place. It's nice. It's called Blue. Okay. B-L-E-U. Okay. Broadway. Yeah. I like this place. Okay. It's nice. It's called Blue.

Okay. B-L-E-U. Okay. Mm-hmm. Okay. Very interesting place. Nice food. Great mac and cheese.

Oh. Now, if you want something a little different. Now, is this a place where you don't have to make a reservation? Is it a casual place? You would have to be. No, you're right. Okay. Because we need some place where if we don't know how many people are going to show up,

it's going to be okay. Okay. So then there's a place called Hurricanes. Okay. That's right by the Space Needle. So, I mean, if you're looking for a Space Needle in the haystack, you get right down there. Space Haystack. It's an all-night, 24-hour place.

Right by there, there's a laundromat that has a fun bar vibe. So you can go there. Yeah. Or you can go to Hurricanes. Maybe they got a Neo Geo in there. Oh, yeah. Sure. If you're lucky. If you're go that maybe they got a neo geo in there oh yeah sure if you're lucky if you're lucky it's just a 24-hour diner it's a nice place okay yeah all right think about it think about it i will consider i will consider all of this jordan's

taking your nominations on the message board right now so uh so so keep keep an eye on the website for for the official place announcement but uh save the date december 17th. How many people do you think you can pull in? How many? So you've pulled in 40. I think that was about 40, yeah. I will do 200. 200 people? Yes.

Are they going to be there for the meetup? Two hundo. Yeah, two hundo, yeah. Deuce. Because technically I had a meetup at the Giants-Rockies game, and there were 46,000 people. I will be giving out name tags. Okay.

You're going to be giving out name tags? With your name on them? With my name on them. They say they are here to meet me. Mitch Hedberg used to do that. Did he? Yeah, he used to give out name tags with his name on it at shows.

That's good. It's a good gig. Well, trivia. Good gag. Yeah. It's a good gig. Name tags with your name on them. 200.

200 people? There to rock. I predict... Oh, it's going to be a music thing. We'll a good gig. Get name tags with your name on them. 200. 200 people? There to rock. I predict. Oh, it's going to be a music thing. We'll all be singing. Just, you know, I'm humming to myself, mumbling in the bathroom. I predict. Yes, acapella mumbling.

Three. But one of them doesn't have any legs, so it's more like two and a half. Two and a half men. Well, you've got to be mean to Stumpy. It'll be me watching two and a half men in Seattle. I'll meet with my friend John Cryer and Fat Child. I predict three people. Okay.

That's my prediction. So yours is? 200. And I'm? 203. Honest Nick coming in with the last prediction. Oh, yes. 18.

I like it. 18 people. Healthy number, manageable on your end. Sure. I don't have to do a lot of entertaining. I like 18 because 18 people. Healthy number. Manageable on your end. Sure. I don't have to do a lot of entertaining. I like 18 because it means that I win. Unless you guys have a lot of fun. Sure.

Oh, so you're going... Do you have any activities planned, Jordan? No. Pin the tail on the donkey? This is very tentative right now. How about this? Pin the tail on the drunkie. Oh, boy.

Look out. Everybody gets drunk and you got to pin... I don't know. Sure. You have to assault them you have to assault the drunk who can't fight back yeah that sounds like a fun game it does sound like a fun game we're looking at december 17th december 17th details at forum.maximumfund.org yep okay 206-984-4FUN our telephone number jjgoe at maximumfund.org our email address sorry people

in seattle yeah that's an easy number for them to call. That's a free number, right? Right. Sure, yeah. No long-distance charges. So call and let us know. We're not missing out on any of your dates that we could be plugging, are we, Nick Thune? Doing any big road dates?

I'm going to be in Austin in January. I've got them all on my – I don't even know, to be honest. Okay, NickThune.com. If you're in Austin, you'll want to make sure and check them out in January. Denver. We'll talk to you in Denver, Colorado. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan and Jessica.