Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 162: Junket Buddies with Alison Haislip

Episode Date: January 30, 2011

Alison Haislip from G4's Attack of the Show talks with Jordan and Jesse about movies, momentous occasions, and more.

Give a little time for the child within you Don't be afraid to be young and free Under the locks and throw away the keys And take off your shoes and sex and run you I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. And I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. And this is Jordan, Jesse, Go! Icicles, tricycles, ice cream, candy

Lollipops, popsicles, licorice sticks Salmon, friendly, maggoty, natty Twiddle, Jesse, go. We're joined by Allison Hayslip from G4 TV. We talk about what the G's in G4 stand for. And frankly, some other stuff that I can't remember. I should have taken notes or something. Let's go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. A beautiful early evening in Los Angeles. The light playing on the wall behind your head right now, Jordan. You look lovely. Thank you. I insist we do the podcast during the magic hour.

I know it's not a visual medium. I know no one can see how angelic I look, but I like to have that angelic feeling. And the warmth of the light is what we're talking about. The warmth. And we always, on Jordan Jesse Go, again, not a visual medium, but we insist on three-point lighting. You want a key light, a back light, and the third light, but I don't remember what it is. Yes, I have aael bay level of standards when

it comes to lighting it's beautiful it is where we really are recording this week's jordan jesse go in pure like a an absolute michael bay slash low level outdoor portrait photographer type situation right now if i was uh bent over the hood of a classic car inspecting the engine i would look as good as megan fox does when she does it that's true just a fact just a fact it's not a it's not a bod thing no it's a lighting thing it's about lighting at the end of the day that's what megan fox has going for her it's just a lighting situation and raw talent yeah okay fair enough lighting and raw talent. Yeah. Okay. Fair enough. Lighting and raw talent. And the gift of gab.

Great Canasta player also. Sure. It just occurred to me that we were talking about Canasta before we hit record. Let's introduce our guest, shall we? Why don't we? This week, our guest on the program, you might have her on uh the g4 network's attack of the show program uh she let us know before the show that she is a noted milkshake enthusiast uh welcome to the show uh allison hayes lip how are you allison i'm very i'm very good i'm glad that you introduced

me so now i can laugh at the last 30 seconds of this program. Because it was hilarious. Do you prefer a milkshake to a malted? Oh, yes. Really? Yes. That was a very definitive response. I am a milkshake connoisseur. I don't hate malted. I just appreciate the variety that you can get in a milkshake. Malteds tend to be very simple. You're looking at a vanilla chocolate. Yes, exactly. So you're kind of beyond those. You're beyond the big three, is Yes, exactly. So you're kind of beyond those. You're beyond the big three is what you're saying. My favorite milkshake is vanilla ice cream with strawberries, bananas,

and Nutella mixed in. Ooh, that's kind of international even. It's heavenly. Yeah. I would say. That's a milkshake for somebody who's been on several backpacking trips. Is it?

Yeah. I don't know if you're an international backpacker. I haven't been on a single backpacking trip. Really? Yeah, maybe I just exude that somehow. You kind of do. I don't think there's any doubt that Nutella tastes good. Some people don't like it.

Well, okay. Many people can agree that Nutella tastes good. But if someone wants to tell you about how much they like Nutella, I don't know. Get out of my face, communist. Really? I don't think they have Nutella in Russia. Yeah, well, that's true. That's a good point, but they do have it

in your communist, your Belgium's, your Netherlands's. Are they communists over there? Eh, borderline. As good as communists, as far as I'm concerned. If you're injured, you just walk into some doctor and they have to fix you. Ah, I see, I see.

So you're saying that extreme love of Nutella is a lot like extreme love of Doctor Who. Yeah. It's like, all right, I get it. It makes a lot of sense. You've traveled abroad. You've got a cousin in Devonshire. Devonshire? Yeahhire yeah yes quite uh anyway uh you know uh allison yes i know from the uh from the world of entertainment reporting i like

i like that you have these little sort of coffee clutches in the in like the waiting room to talk to ving rames or whomever. Yes. Yeah, well, you know, it's unusual that you'll see one of the talent out there with the reporters, and it's usually kind of a situation where... Because the talent's where? Doing calisthenics?

They're locked in tiny... Or blow. They're locked in tiny hotel rooms, waiting for us to rotate through them. Yeah, yeah. I'd argue that blow is the calisthenics of the mind. Yeah, it is. I'll agree with that. I'll go with it. It's a mind workout.

But usually it's like you're in this room and I have a little story about this that this will relate to. But Allison, I don't know if you'll agree or disagree with this. But typically other entertainment reporters on the whole are insufferable oh my gosh i completely agree okay good i was worried i was worried that i might i didn't know where you stood on this issue jordan i'm pretty sure this is why you and i became friends because we were the only two same people who sit in those rooms while we wait for our four minutes with jason statham sure right yes uh, this definitely, it's always kind of a relief to see you there. I'm like, oh good, someone to talk to who's

not going to be either BO ridden or obsessively talking about. Or have some really weird hair color. Yeah, yeah. Or some sort of long story about how David Spade bought them a drink or something. Right, right. And I was recently

at a press junket that you were not at. Uh-oh, which one? This is Sanctum. Oh, Sanctum, yes. New James Cameron produced Cave Adventure. Oh my God. Sanctum. I watched the trailer for that.

Is that the one where the cave is filling with water? Yes. It genuinely horrified me and made me want to throw up. It's a really stressful movie. I can imagine. Yes, it is. I just feel like I'd be claustrophobic the whole time watching it. Yeah, definitely.

It's definitely a real rollercoaster ride. You're only occasionally taken out of the extreme tension by the terrible acting. Ah, there you go. Yeah, it really struck me. I saw a movie that my father-in-law was watching on InDemand one time. And my father-in-law will sometimes watch, oh, OnDemand. There you go. You could say InDemand.

Anyway. Okay, well, he watches this thing sometimes. But he'll only watch the free pay-per-view movies. Yeah. Oh, right. And these are always like shark versus giant octopus type situations. Sure. And he watched one about these.

Sorry to just be correcting you. It's mega shark. It's mega shark. Okay. Sorry. It's not just a shark versus a giant octopus. All he'll watch is Jose Cane's Snake-O. And this one was about some kind of underwater cave spiders that eat people.

Oh, no, no, no. What? Caves and spiders together yeah i think so as i recall i'm out i don't even want to see anything of this those are your two least favorite probably and what struck me about what struck me about the uh trailer for uh sanctum was that it seemed like that level quality of performances with just like they just hired like a cinematographer from like, you know, like one of those guys that Woody Allen hires to shoot a movie in Europe or something like it looked like spectacularly beautiful. But then even in the trailer, the acting was horrible. They couldn't even find six lines that were sold correctly.

Sure, and it is in fact beautiful. It is shot with James Cameron's personal 3D underwater submarine cameras. Oh, God. So yeah, it's a very watchable movie, a super watchable kind of fun movie. Ooh, there's coffee coming up here, Jordan. And thank you, Teresa. My beautiful wife just brought Jordan a stiff cup of coffee. It smells good.

And Jesse, a hot glass of nothing. Guess who's the new favorite? Guess who's the new husband? No. Isn't James Cameron doing another never-been-done-before feed with the new avatars? He's shooting underwater deeper than any movie's ever been shot. I bet he is. is i heard that somewhere i think it's one of those things where if you got a 3d submarine you got to work up some ways to write it off your taxes you know exactly yeah yeah they're going

underwater into some like you know vault that like you know people don't even go down into or something like that right now like richard branson is trying to figure out how to write off his like journey to space. I would not be surprised if James Cameron's next movie is actually on the moon. I mean, he must get unlimited budget now. Sure. And stars Richard Branson. Exactly.

Right. I want to shoot on the moon. Okay, Mr. Cameron. Done. Yeah. Right. I know. And then I will destroy it.

Yes. He'll just laser in his initials. Right. So every time we look up, we have to see JC. Or a very specific etching of his dick. Oh. Like, yep, there's Cameron's giant dick on the moon. He got it.

So yeah, no, but Sanctum is certainly worth seeing, and there is a horrible, oh, if you're, just spoiler alert, but if you're looking for worth seeing, and there is a horrible – oh, spoiler alert. But if you're looking for the world's most stressful scene, there's a scene where a woman is kind of – she's rope and hooking across a chasm. And she falls, and her hair gets caught in her hook, and she's only dangling by a chunk of hair and scalp. And it's so intense. Anyways. Oh, Jiminy Christmas. Wow.

Just watching that trailer upset me so much. And I want to be clear. If people think that I'm describing my fear at this trailer to describe how excited I was to see this movie, no. I was angry. You hate the movie. I was angry that I had to watch it.

I have not felt this way since that movie where Sylvester Stallone was hanging off a cliff. Cliffhanger? There you go. No, that's not it. Something like that. Demolition Man. I actually have only ever seen the first 15 minutes of that movie and the last 15 minutes of the movie, which, if you look at it, are the same exact parts of the movie.

They're both people hanging over the same damn cliff. They just play them upside down at the end. What you missed was a bunch of John Lithgow. At the beginning, they're standing on the cliff. At the end, they turn it upside down. The cliff is standing on them. So they appear to be in danger. Right, yeah.

So this movie upset me. Like, this movie trailer just made me want to cry. It sincerely made me want to cry. There's a part where a lady's, like, she's drowning, and she has to, like, put her mouth up to a tiny bubble of air that's on a rock. Is it a dude? Is it a dude? It's a beautiful dude.

There's a part where someone speaks in an Australian accent, which I think has no place in cinema. Right. There are far more Australians in movies than there are in real life, I feel like. I would agree with that. It's a weird representation. I mean, the entire population of Australia is less than the city of Los Angeles. Yeah, but it's like an eighth of movie stars are Australian now. That's because of their adventurous spirit.

I feel like you forget. I forget that half these people are Australian because they all play Americans in the damn movie. Yeah, yeah. This one definitely has some people actually being Australian, but also other Australians affecting them. Like, everyone is Australian in it. Did you do the junket for I Am Number Four? I did, yes. You did. Yeah, same

thing. Half the cast. Same thing, yes. Everyone is beautiful in australia exactly i think one dude was russian okay russian english sorry i don't russian same difference he's a communist that's right yeah right the communist day if you can go to the doctor it's the same thing sure um so you're at you're at the you're at the junket for this nightmare nightmare yes um so i'm in line for it and I'm kind of just chit-chatting with the reporter next to me who is from MTV. I didn't know her, but... Music television?

Music television. Does that exist anymore? Hard to say. Hard to say. It's now the Pregnancy Network. Yeah. The Poor Decisions Network. And we're just kind of chit-chatting, and she's very nice.

And with it, and I'm like, oh, good, this is kind of a normal person. Like, we're having, you know, good sense of humor. You know, way this person is normal. Is she replacing me, Jordaman? Jordaman? Well, wait till the end of the story. Jordaman is actually a nightmarish creature composed of half Jordan and half the spice cardamom. Sure.

Yes. Coming soon to Syfy. S-Y-F-Y. Yeah. And at the, and so I'm like, okay, this is nice. This is a rare, normal person that I can talk to. And then it went south. Uh-oh. Before you go into one of these junkets, they ask you, SD or HD?

And that's what... That's the extent of D you're looking for. Yeah, yeah. That's how much D. They say, C48s? Right. C47? And she said, SD.

And then turns to me and she's like, yeah, I don't know why MTV's not in HD yet. We need to join the 21st century, huh? I'm like, yeah. But in their defense i'm sure snooki looks better in sd and she gets the most sour expression on her face and she says you know i've met her and she is really nice not the point and we did and we did not talk for the rest of the thing oh no, no! Because this person who, by all accounts, was nice and normal and had a good sense of humor, had some sort of weird corporate affiliation or had been brainwashed to the extent that she liked Snooki

and was willing to stick up for her when she was not around. Anyways. Isn't part of the thing of Snooki that Snooki is charming in some way? She kind of is. I'll be honest. I will admit, I've watched a couple episodes of Jerseyooki that Snooki is charming in some way? She kind of is. I'll be honest. I will admit I've watched a couple episodes of Jersey Shore. Don't try and bullshit us on this. I've watched every single episode.

No. And, you know, and I have to and will admit that that is kind of the fun of the thing is that that they are displaying reprehensible behavior, but come out of it kind of likable. Right. Well, I mean, some of the other guys in the show are like just total tools and you don't you don't care about them but snooki for some reason you're a little like why does all the crap always fall on snooki's shoulders i guess she's getting punched and arrested so there is kind of a she is the kind of underdog of that situation but to the point i don't know to the point where you shun someone for making fun of her i don't know no no no anyway uh that shun someone for making fun of her? I don't know. No, no, no, no.

Anyway. That's okay. I'll always be your number one junket friend, Jordan. Thanks, dude. Imagine if you'd said something bad about Kennedy. Oh, yeah. Or Kurt Loder. That would have been pure disaster.

Yeah, right? Oh, man. Or Aeon Flux. What? That's an old MTV anime- style cartoon from back in the day. It was a movie too, wasn't it? It was, yeah. Charlize Theron.

Exactly. Was the... Anyway. You guys having fun over here? We're having a blast. We're having a great time. Talking about movies. Oh, junket stories.

Talking about movies that someone has forced you to watch. You'll appreciate this. Yes. One of the things when you do these junkets constantly the large majority of them are at the four seasons yes and they always have the four seasons i was gonna say they always have these massive food spreads yeah and you can always tell how much the uh studio has put in to the the marketing of these films by how big the food spread is yeah yeah the one for the roommate was awesome really it had a mashed potato bar i was like i've never seen this at a junket before

in my life hold on i don't know what that is what is a mashed potato a massive thing of mashed potatoes with like 20 different toppings that you could put on top of it it's like an ice cream sundae bar but with mashed potatoes wow fixins fixins yes wow what are we talking here so sour cream bacon bits chives how where else do you go from there green onions green onions um here's here's a sad thing i love mashed potatoes but i love them plain so i didn't even use the mashed potato bar i just you were just glad to see a giant pile of mashed potatoes exactly they also had cheesecake lollipops. Hmm. That sounds horrible. Nope.

It was probably pretty good. Yes. Well, at least we know where those $80 million budgets are going. Seriously. To the food to keep us happy so we relatively rate their movies better. They're going to give the guy from JoeBlow.com a cheesecake lollipop. It's so funny that you said that because I literally met that guy yesterday. I bet he's great.

I had an experience with, I mean, I know that you just described your general revulsion at this group of people. And I can understand it absolutely. I think it's not a group of people that you would go to for almost anything. Okay, sure. Yeah. i had this odd experience the the other day um i interviewed uh the star of this movie a thousand clowns because we did a a screening of the film at the cine family here in los angeles that sounds terrifying uh it was oh it was it was well it would be really terrifying if if i was interviewing jason robarts who's passed on five or ten years ago. But it was –

Maybe what you're referencing, A Thousand Clowns is not actually about a thousand clowns. Oh, OK. That's what sounds terrifying. If clowns are comparable to spiders in your mind. No. But the star of this – the star of the film has had this long career. The child star of the film has had this long career in entertainment that he he started in radio in the early 50s when he was literally like four or five years old and he's worked in show business ever since um and he was actually nominated for a tony when he

was 12 for the play of a thousand clowns and he was like on i mean he was on uh he was on leave it to beaver he was on Leave It to Beaver. He was on two seasons, the last two seasons of All in the Family when it was Archie Bunker's place. He's probably been punched by Bing Crosby. Yeah, I mean, he's done everything, but one of the things that he had done was that he was the voice of,

if I'm remembering correctly, Donatello on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Shut your face. That is awesome wait the cartoon or the movie uh the cartoon okay the cartoon not the movie the cartoon show which apparently by the way ran for eight years oh yeah it definitely did i watched every single season of that show what's amazing about that is the people the the children don't watch it for eight years present company accepted so you can i mean doesn't don't isn't for eight years. Present company accepted.

So you can... I mean, isn't what they usually do, like just make 25 of them and just run them over and over? Aren't there like 12 Scooby-Doos? Yeah, that's a good question. I don't know a lot about the seasoning of cartoon shows. I mean, once you have 100 episodes of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, what do you need more of them for? Because it's not like we have the attention span to realize that we've watched the same episode when we were five years old.

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, and I feel like I was, as a kid, I was more than content to watch the episode of Rocco's Modern Life where he gets the giant vacuum over and over. Like, oh, good, here's this vacuum one again. And so Barry Gordon, when I was doing the research for this, I was looking for interviews with Barry Gordon. And one of the only ones was an audio interview with him that was exclusively about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. That's so cool. And it was four men gang interviewing him. Sounds pleasant.

Now, number one, I want to say Barry Gordon could not have been more pleasant, classier, more charming in this interview, just more considerate of these men. And I can, let me, this maybe seems

like the equivalent of like, you know, if you interviewed Christopher Lee, but it was just a bunch of guys wanting to talk about Lord of the Rings. Is this kind of the situation? It's like that. Like someone with a long and storied career who just happens to be involved with this nerd thing? It's like that, only you have to understand that Lord of the Rings, specifically, meritorious. Oh, sure. Lord of the Rings. specifically, meritorious. Oh, sure. Lord of the Rings.

And you're saying the Ninja Turtles cartoon isn't? A series of quality films. Now, look, you can talk to me about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the underground comic series, or that there have been things associated with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that are meritorious. And certainly in the context of— Good Genesis fighting game. Yeah, absolutely. Is my mic off? Yeah, your microphone just went off. There we go.

I'm back. I'm back, guys. Calm down. I'm back. I played the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle arcade game at Pizza Hut every Friday. They had that and Street Fighter 2. That's what I did every Friday. Yeah, the one that's like Streets of Rage with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Yeah, and it's a side-scroller. That's a lot of fun.

Classic Konami beat-em-up. Also in that family. X-Men and the Simpsons. Very good. There you go. I'm not... Pizza parlor beat-em-ups. I'm not saying...

I guess what I'm saying is I'm not saying that when you're nine, it's not appropriate to like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles because it's a lot of fun. Sure. Yeah. not appropriate to like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles because it's a lot of fun. Sure. Yeah. These people were so emotionally invested in not only the

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but also another show that Barry Gordon had done voices on, The Snorks. Oh! This guy's amazing! He's had the greatest career in the history of showbiz. These four men that could barely, between the four of them, could barely form words to ask him questions.

They were so starstruck. There was just this kind of, there were, sincerely were that noise on the recording. They were all wearing their headgear. Yeah, I want to be clear. Their orthodontic headgear to the interview. their headgear. Yeah, I want to be clear. Their orthodontic headgear to the interview.

When I make a stereotypical nerd noise about this interview, it is a recreation of what I heard on the recording, not a parody of what I heard

on the recording. Right. They just, they would just say, like, he would talk about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for ten minutes, and then one of them

would chime in to say, I can't believe I'm hearing the voice of Donatella. Oh, man. And then he would talk about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for five minutes and then they one of them would chime in to say I can't believe I'm hearing the voice of Donatella oh man and then he would talk about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

for 5 minutes and then you heard the faint sound of masturbating oh god it was the and what was amazing is this website

that had that they were writing for and apparently it was called like it was called like Tune Zone or something like that

sure you know something with zone and tune in it Zone Tune yeah Zone Tune it could have been like Tune Zone or something like that. Sure. You know, something with zone and tune in it. Zone Tune? Yeah, Zone Tune. It could have been Zone Tune. Yeah. Zone Tune also may have been like the bad guy in like a 50s sci-fi B-movie.

Zone Tune! No! No! You will obey Zone Tune. But the header of their website, it was like a blog-based website, and the header of their website featured pictures of these four guys. And suffice it to say that it should not, for marketing reasons, have featured pictures of these four guys.

Like they had a logo that was you know i mean it was a low rent logo but it was a logo you know it had like different cartoon care you know i had like a smurf and a snork sure of course and were they fucking i guess i want to get a sense of what kind of website this is and you know it had brave star um that's right right brave star oh that's maybe i don't know it was a space cowboy of some kind i could have been out of my lone star i think it was brave star with two r's lone star space balls okay lone star space ball so i'm going with brave star there's some kind of space eagle involved in it if i remember correctly but anyway they had pictures you know it said tune zone or whatever

and then it had pictures of different cartoon characters around it and then along the bottom were head and shoulder shots of these guys that were i'm gonna say 30 ish uh but just really just genuinely so you looked like the pictures from a tumblr blog of embarrassing pictures from high school yearbooks. Yikes. So it was from fuck yeah embarrassing high school yearbooks.com. Exactly. Just fucking like zip sweatshirts with stains on them and like one shoulder is half off. And they have word bubbles coming out of their mouths that say I'm a virgin.

Yeah. Oh, it was such a nightmare. Why did you put those there? Yeah, but you know that say, I'm a virgin. Yeah. Oh, it was such a nightmare. Why did they put those there? Yeah, but, you know, maybe. Here's a theory. Theory. On why that maybe works for these guys is because, okay, look at people who like Kevin Smith stuff. They all look like Kevin Smith.

Right. Like, it's, you can, you know, they are people who dress and are like that. you know, that they are people who dress and are like that. Maybe this is a situation where they want to show, you know, the fans, like, hey, this isn't some slick corporate cartoon fan site run by a bunch of... Right, we actually care about this content. Right, so much so that we are out of shape and not getting laid. Right. Like, we are just like you, cartoon website browser.

I return to my point that they could not form words in what was an hour plus long interview with Barry Gordon. I mean, there are people that do this. There are professional nerds that I think do a very nice job. Sure. My Internet buddy, Ken Plume, who does the show with Dana Snyder, who's a past Jordan Jesse Go guest on the they do a podcast together. He works for the Kevin Smith Empire. At least he used to. He's a professional nerd.

He he tries to find out Dom DeLuise's phone number so he can interview him about the Muppet movie. I bet Dom DeLuise is stoked about that. There's nothing I got. I got no I got nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong with that. Four men, four men on this recording.

You know, can I, just to backtrack a little bit, you were saying, Let's get back to Dom DeLuise. Right.

You were saying, why is there eight seasons of Ninja Turtles? I maybe think I know an explanation. Okay, I'm interested to hear it.

Ninja Turtles, like a G.I. Joe, like a He-Man. Are you I'm interested to hear it. Ninja Turtles. Yes. Like a G.I. Joe. Wait. Like a He-Man. Are you Jordan Morris from Toonzone.com? I am. Excuse me.

I recognize that sweater. Excuse me while I masturbate. Like a G.I. Joe. Like a He-Man. Popular cartoon. Maybe more popular. This is kind of in the heyday of the action figure, of the toys

and the vehicles. So when you make more cartoons, you introduce more stuff you can make toys out of. For instance, frog equivalents of the Ninja Turtle. Oh, I remember them! Not Battletoads, because that's something else. But they were...

They were part of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles universe well I think yes they were part of the turtle verse I don't know if that's what it's called the TMNT verse

who were the bad guys Bebop and it was Bebop and Rocksteady were the two by the way Barry Gordon also played Bebop what what

I think it was Bebop you're blowing my mind I know the one that was a pig and went when he talked Allison do you know how many seasons of the Snorks there were? No clue.

Okay. I definitely was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fan more so than the Snorks. I'm guessing because maybe the Snorks was a little less reliant on toy sales, maybe there were fewer Snorks seasons. It was also earlier, right? I want to feel like Snorks came out a little earlier than... Yeah, I believe that. Yeah. Snorks is Belgian, by the way.

Really? Yeah. Communists. Bingo. But it's not by the exact same guy that did the Smurfs? No. Really? No.

I guess I had always assumed that. No. Can we talk about the fact that there's a Smurfs movie coming out? Oh, yeah. Yeah? Yeah, I don't... You know, this is also what I don't understand. It's not like there's been a Smurfs presence in the media.

So why do you, I get why you want to make a movie based on a, a formally successful property because there's already built an audience, but like, God, there hasn't been a Smurfs thing for a long time. Ages. Ages. You might as well just make a movie about blue elves and call it the blue elf movie like really i don't know i think i think it's a sign that the northwest europeans control the movie yeah belgians belgians you're probably because the uh the chipmunks movies have been

have been doing relatively well yeah why do you think there's so many movies about dykes. Not the slur. Not the slur. Because dudes like chick-on-chick action? No, not the slur, you guys. The retaining wall for water. Yeah, sure. That a heroic boy can stick a finger in to save an entire town. Yeah.

Well, anyway, we'll be back in just a second. Sorry I accidentally said a slur. I think it was clear that I wasn't slurring anyone when I said it in the context of Northwest Europe. I think that was very clear. I think we just like to make fun of you. But, hey, Jesse, you know what's sweet? What? Chick on chick action.

We'll be back in just a second. Jordan, Jesse, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, as a boy detective. We made up stupid nicknames when we were 19. We were kind of stuck with them. Yeah. You guys have known each other since you were 19? Yes, we... Jordan was 18. Yeah. Barely legal.

We had some hot chick-on-chick action with each other. No, Jesse was my RA in college, and we did a kind of version of what we're doing now at our college radio station. Aw, look how it's grown. I know.

I know. I know. Here we are today in a second bedroom. We made it, Mom! Woo-hoo! I want to say, oh, and Allison, by the way, you can think of a nickname

if you'd like to before we end the show. Allison Hayslip, Defender of the Universe. Sure. Great. It's fun. Done.

Perfect. Way cooler than Boy Detective. Yeah, it is. I just want to say a quick thank you to Andreas Deuce Pape. Great. It's fun. Done. Perfect. Way cooler than Boy Detective. Yeah, it is. I just want to say a quick thank you to Andreas Deuce Pape. Yeah, Deuce Pape. Who's a very nice listener who sent me a mix CD and a CD by his band. Allison, you'll get a weird fan thing in the mail every now and then, right? Yes.

Yeah? I actually, the other day, was sent... Not that this is weird, by the way. This is a very nice gift, and I appreciate it. But I was sent what I can only describe as voodoo dolls, although apparently that wasn't the intention of these things, but they were... Three of them.

It was myself, Kevin Pereira. They were supposed to be... They were called Penny Beauties. Yeah, right? It was dolls of myself, Kevin Pereira, and Olivia Munn. Kevin Sprinkles Pereira. Exactly. That was Kevin's nickname when he was on the show, by the way.

Kevin Sprinkles. Mine is so much cooler than that. Defender of the Universe. Might be taken, but I don't care. To be fair, he brought us donuts. Oh. So that's how we win your love. We bring you food.

Well, that's how you get it. That's how we pigeonhole you with a nickname. Yeah, that would definitely work for me though too. Yeah, so they were these dolls that were made out of felt and stuffed and sewn together. And they kind of looked like superhero bodies. Like they were all in one color with a symbol on the chest. Okay. And then our faces had been, I think, printed onto the fabric.

So it was actual pictures of our heads on these felt bodies with yarn sewn in for hair. I was like – Did the notes say there's a drop of my blood on each one? No. I don't know. It's highly possible. I pulled them out of this box and my friend who was there with me, she was you need to burn those immediately and i'm like i'm not gonna burn them like someone took the time to make these plus it would probably accidentally light myself on fire yeah no i know

sure the vapors would yes exactly you also and i don't know if this is this is uh this is public oh knowledge or not but you've also gotten the occasional request for a foot pic too oh my goodness yes many of them it's it's very weird i understand that there are people who have foot fetishes but like people email me and they're like i was just wondering if i could get a picture of your feet and i'm like really like that's what you want from me like i would almost prefer them to email me and say something like i totally want to bang you you. You're hot. At least three, that makes sense. Yeah, exactly. Instead of just requesting a picture of my feet.

Do you feel like they think maybe they're putting one over on you? Like, I'll just ask her for a picture of her feet. She won't know that I'm going to use it to jack off. Right, yeah, exactly. Like, I'm just going to volunteer, you know, images of myself for someone. There's plenty of them online. You don't have to email me for one.

Wait, do you do, so I'm, so you say you get an inordinate amount of foot requests right like more than i don't know what the average amount of foot request emails would be but i definitely zero yes but i would say technically if you get a foot request email uh foot pick uh that that's inordinate right i mean i thought the first time that I got it, I was like, oh, this is weird. And the fact that I've gotten multiple since then, I'm baffled by it. I'm absolutely baffled by it. Do you do a lot of like barefoot frolicking on the show to where they're like, oh, where maybe the producers of the show are highlighting your feet in some way? No, I almost wonder because I've never shown my feet on the show.

Oh, maybe that's it. It's a mystery. What do my feet look like? You know, I'm on a – I feel like – If I'm not mistaken, you have grotesquely misshapen feet, correct? Obviously. That is exactly why you've never seen my feet. Yeah, you should find some disgusting picture of an infected foot online.

Like, here you are, big boy. Have fun. Enjoy your masturbating. I know. I actually have hooves. That's what it is. Oh, cloven hooves. She did not specify cloven. Let's not be presumptive here.

Sorry. She's kosher. No, I'm on a comparably rated extended cable network and I haven't gotten any requests for any pics, foot or otherwise. I don't understand.

It's because you don't have boobs. Plus you already have dick pics up on the internet. I do. I just redirect people to my dick pic site. You've got sort of like an illustration on your website of like the operation guy and then they can click on any part of the body to get a detailed pic of that part of your body. Maybe that's because I volunteer the pics. Well, Jordan, I have also seen you in full body spandex on your show before, which is

more so than I can say. So maybe people don't need pictures. Yeah, maybe it's a... We did do a program early on in the run of Jordan Jesse Go where we asked people to create paper dolls based around Jordan and took a photograph of Jordan in his boxer shorts with his arms outstretched for paper dolls. Not boxer shorts. These are undies.

Oh, they were briefs. These are briefs. Adorable. And that remains, I would say, top five Google image search for Jordan Morris. I did not anticipate those undie pics to follow me as closely as they have. And as resolutely. It's surprising. It's been years now.

Yeah, no, it has. This is maybe six years ago. And yeah, still if you Google image search me, it's one of the top three things that comes up. There's a picture of me that a fan made of my superimposed my face on like some chick posing as Supergirl. She has no pants on and these heels and this white shirt. She's pulling it off with a Supergirl symbol underneath. That photo has been used in like legitimate interviews because people think it's actually me.

Wow, it's a good Photoshop job by this guy. Yeah, exactly. And every time it shows up, I mean it is that one picture that never dies. And I want to be like, that's not my body. Like that is not me. It's just my face. Sorry, guys. Jesse, how about you?

What's your Google image search pick? You know, we have an official picture that we took a few years ago. It's not the greatest picture ever, but it has Nutsy in it. Okay. It's not sexually exciting at all. No. I don't think that there are very few sexually exciting pictures of me to people other than my beloved wife. Sure.

And your two lovely dogs. We see, to be fair. We get some nice stuff from listeners from time to time. There's a nice couple who will send us holiday cookies at the holidays. That'd be weird if they sent you holiday cookies in, like, June. Getting ready for Christmas over here. They're from Australia and the seasons are opposite. Oh, sure, sure.

The toilet water goes the opposite direction. It does. So they make cookies in June. That is a true statement. And, you know, we get some nice stuff. But when we were in college, there was a DJ who played kind of goth and industrial music named DJ Victoria. Oh, yes.

Who used to get some just majestic things in the mail from the local prison. Oh. She was huge at the prison. Apparently she was on during lockdown hours, but you're allowed to have a transistor radio or something. Yeah, yeah. And she would get these.

The one I remember specifically was a rose made out of shit you find in prison like a beautiful rose in a case made out of like wrappers toilet paper and other things you can get in prison let's be more specific a black rose yeah because that's more gothic sure yes of course yeah she was like super goth babe too she was like best case scenario like yep deep deep suicide girl anyway stop talking about this now uh i actually have there's something that i want to talk about that has to do with the u.s mail please um our friends at the united states postal service our friends at the united States Postal Service. Sleet, hail, etc.

I've got just the nicest downstairs neighbor here. I'm not going to use his name for reasons that will become apparent. But his address is the number of my house plus one half. Yes. And so sometimes we'll get his mail. And I've lately frequently gotten porno mags. Oh. Now, I want to be clear.

These porno mags ship in discrete containers. Sure. How do you know they're porno mags? Because nothing else ships that way. Nothing else is that discreet Okay That is mag shaped It's unusually discreet

I get it And there's something really Maybe he just doesn't want people to know That he gets highlights Aww I love highlights He beats off to Goofus and Gallant He's like

Oh Goofus You're a bad boy You're so rude at the dinner table There's a soup spoon You little asshole You're a bad boy. You're so rude at the dinner table. There's a soup spoon, you little asshole. But what's remarkable about this is... Can I do some more goofus porn stuff? My neighbor is a gay man. He's a gay gentleman like myself.

Does Teresa know this? It's an allusion to a past program, yeah. And so I know that it's an allusion to a past program. Yeah. And so I know that it's not like, I guess, Playboy would be the one example of a magazine that has to ship in something like that. Yeah, my dad got Playboys mailed, and there was a black rapper. And you can kind of make an argument that Playboy is a magazine. It's obviously a porno mag, but it has magazine merits as well. Sure.

You could argue about the extent of them. Exactly. Yeah. But I don't – I'm not an expert on this, but I don't think that there is a gay porn equivalent of Playboy where it's a magazine with articles and also porn. Yeah, that has like lifestyle stuff like fashion tips. Yeah, like the advocate doesn't have any rock hard boners in it. And whatever the, you know, hot wet men. You know the name of a lot of gay porn magazines. Hot wet men is one I know.

Stud life. Stud life Men is one I know. Stud Life? Stud Life. I like that one. But what's sweet about this is that he's getting them delivered to his home. He's living in the pornography world of 1992. Yes. Snail Mail. Yeah.

How old is he? He's not especially old. I guess he's maybe in his late 30s. Huh. So this is a guy who... If he was a 70-year-old or even a 58-year-old, I might guess, well, the internet was invented when he was in his 40s and he just never adjusted. Right.

Yeah. But the reality is that if you're looking for pornography... Especially gay pornography. Right. Or just any... The more specific you go, the more valuable the internet is. Right. Sure. Yeah, yeah.

Right. Like if you're, let's say you're just looking for Allison, Allison foot pics. Sure. Then you're going to want to hit the internet. A lot of people think you want to write her a letter, but no. No. You've got to get on that Google image search. As soon as I get an email about it, I tweet about it. I make fun of those emails.

Don't email me about my feet. Or you will be internet shamed. And so what's fascinating to me about this is I did not even I didn't even really think that a subscription to a porno magazine still existed. I don't know if subscriptions to any magazines exist. Are they just on iPads now? Yeah, right? Is everything just on an iPad?

Oh, you know, I'll speak to this really quickly. Jordan. Jordan, you have the floor. Thank you. I have the conch. Sucks to your ass, Mara Jordan. Yeah, thank you. Now, my dad, as I mentioned, was a Playboy getter.

And that was kind of definitely my first encounter with naked ladies. And definitely when I began to have naked lady feelings, I was aware that my dad had a Playboy stash that I could use to explore those naked lady feelings. Have you ever seen a real naked lady? Now that I'm concerned they explore those naked lady feelings. Have you ever seen a real naked lady? Now that I'm concerned, they keep saying naked lady feelings. Yes. I'm these only existed magazines, right?

Exactly. Ladies have clothes permanently. Exactly. In magazines. From what I understand. They're glued. They're super glued to our body. Just to cover up their grotesque feet. Sure.

Right. Uh, and so, you know, so there's definitely that like Youthful excitement Associated with Playboys

And you know Now you know When a fella needs to look at a naked lady The internet's the best way to go It's the quickest, it's the most economical Certainly Just type naked into Google image search Yeah sure

And But the other day i had to buy a playboy to use as a prop in a work thing uh-huh sure yeah yes um and uh just having it and looking at it and then kind of you know opening up the centerfold really like was this sense memory thing, this very method. Of fear and shame. Fear and shame. But yeah, but also kind of – but definitely like – I mean I'm in my apartment and live by myself and I'm not worried that the cat is going to judge me for looking at a playboy. Oh, they judge. Yeah, they do.

Those cats. Very ashamed. going to judge me for looking at a oh they judge yeah they do very ashamed um and then but i definitely felt like i should close the door to my room or just go in the bathroom like there was there was this kind of rush that just came from holding it and like the smell of the newsprint i know exactly what you mean because our we have uh friend who created Jordan Jesse Game who works for Playboy. Now, he doesn't work for the naked lady part of Playboy. He works for the editorial magazine internet content part of Playboy. But he works for Playboy in the Playboy building in Chicago or whatever.

And he sent us some Playboys. And I did not know what to do with it. Because I am like, I think I was just, I was internet savvy enough when I started to get naked lady feelings that I had never owned any pornography in my life. So you've never had hard copy porn? Yeah. Pornography has been something. You're like, I can touch it?

I don't get it. Pornography was a ghost in the machine for me. It passed in and out of my life silently. I actually am friends with a girl who was recently, The Centerfold was the cover of a Playboy. Okay. I think we can all say that here. Actually, technically, I know two people, because Olivia Munn was a cover of Playboy,

but she did not get naked. My other friend, Krista, did. And it was so funny, because... Was she the Playmate of the Month, or was this a hot college girl situation? No, she's on Mad Men. So they had her do... Someone from Mad Men is in play? I'm kind of disappointed. Excuse me.

I was kind of hoping it was Krista Tippett from Speaking of Faith. No, no, no. Is there a Girls of Public Radio issue coming anytime soon? Fantastic. No, Krista Flanagan. She was on Mad Men and they...

Who was she on Mad Men? I never watched the show. Oh, okay. I don't know. I'm telling you that. I mean, I'm going to buy it regardless. Anyway. Yes.

No. So, but she brought it. We're in class together. So she brought it into class because she had all told us about it because they did this whole spread on her as a 1960s pinup girl because it was supposed to be Mad Men, like a woman of Mad Men doing Playboy Mad Men of the age. So she passes around the magazine because we all knew about him. We were all like prepared.

We're like, okay, we're all about to see. What class is this? An acting class that I'm in. You know, we're all prepared. We're about to see Krista naked. You've been in acting classes. Yes, clearly. Yes.

But it was just so funny to like open it up and flip through and be like, there's Krista's cooch. But I kind of don't care that I'm looking at it. You know what I mean? It was like. It's like in that context. Yeah. Well, this is a magazine where you open it up and Krista's cooch, but I kind of don't care that I'm looking at it. You know what I mean? It was like- It's like in that context. Yeah. Like, well, this is a magazine where you open it up and you see a cooch.

Yeah. Exactly. It wasn't shocking for any reason. I was like, and her boobs. I know what her boobs look like. That cooch text, if you will. And I'm going to try and say this without being terribly crass, but it's going to come out that way.

Yes. But you are super hard right now. Yes. Gentlemen, ladies. That's why I'm sitting on the other side of the room gay um but like i think we're all aware that there's a fair amount of like uh you know making up and tending that goes into someone before they shoot for playboy and maybe a fair amount of airbrushing after the fact. Not that your friend isn't lovely, but I'm sure she's on Mad Men so she's probably super fox. Super fox. I don't know. This Playboy

model sounds pretty homely to me. Yeah, a real plain Jane. A real Sarah Plain and Tall. Let me put it this way. She doesn't sound like she's any kind of Krista Tippett. No. Right. Yeah. She's no Cokie Roberts. She's no Sylvia Pojett. No. Right. Yeah. She's no Cokie Roberts. She's no Sylvia Poggioli.

Whoa. Shall we go back and forth so you can name more of your artists? Sandra Singlo. But I think you could probably like look at the cooch in the magazine

and think this is probably not what her cooch looks like at this specific moment. Like this is, this is the cooch with a lot of assistance. This is like a magically transformed version of her cooch. like at this specific moment. Like, this is the cooch with a lot of assistance. This is like a magically transformed version of her cooch. I honestly did not put that much

thought into her cooch. Well, that's weird. I gotta be honest with you. If my colleague Jordan Morris' cooch was in there, I'd probably have to put a lot of thought into it. I'd give it some careful consideration. The man cooch? But I could see how that might make it less weird. Like, oh, this is some sort of weird other project that just happens to look like you,

but this is not what you generally look like naked. It's not like Krista is actually naked in front of me. Sure, right. Because then my acting class would get super weird. Yeah. I feel like if someone I knew was in Playboy or Playgirl, depending on their gender, I feel like I would have a hard time talking to them afterwards. Yeah?

Not because I disapprove of it. Just because... You saw them naked. It's just such a weird thing. I would feel... I almost feel weird knowing someone that's in the New York Times. That's something you have a lot of hang-ups. So it's nothing to do with the nudity.

It's more the fact that they were in some sort of media. Yeah, like if I see someone I know, and granted, I host a television program. I was going to say, you know both of us are on TV. If I see someone I know on television, that weirds me out. If I see someone I know on television, that weirds me out. Like, I've never seen, I have to admit, I don't have cable, so I've never seen Jordan on television. I've never seen myself on television. Right.

But if I did, it would be disconcerting to me somehow. Hmm. I don't know. I'm just saying. Yeah. It's my own shit. I was going to say, this sounds like a way different issue than seeing someone in Playboy. It's almost Amish. Like maybe you're afraid their soul was stolen.

But there's something odd. There's something odd about someone existing in this other world that is so different from the world that you know them existing in. And certainly being naked in the pages of a magazine that's famous for having naked people in it. Sure. The naked people in it. Sure. The Naked People magazine. I feel like it'd be different if they were naked in the pages of a magazine that was not known for having naked people in it. If you had opened up Popular Mechanics and saw my dingus.

Hey, did you see the article about me in The Atlantic? Did you see my Harper's piece? Sure. Did you see my stipple portrait in the Wall Street Journal? We'll be back in just a second. I'm Jordan Jesse Go. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, boy detective. Allison Hayslip, defender of the universe. What a joy to have Allison Hayslip here. It is. What are the... I've been on a couple times on this G4 network. I don't know what the Gs are. Can we guess?

Guess what the Gs are, Goh. Okay, gaming. Okay. Guys. Okay. Like. Okay. Like hot guys. What? You're thinking of the four Gs of hot, wet men.

Right. You want to help me? Goofus and gallon. That's four. I think, if I could take a guess. I want to take a legitimate guess. Games, guys, goofus, and gallon. I got it.

This is some sort of speed at which matter dissipates or something. There's not four actual Gs, but it's some sort of science code for like... That's amazing. That's not it. Okay, are you ready? Yes. This is the story that I have heard please that your tech news i've heard that g4 actually stands for nothing that when they were trying to come up with the

name of the network they were going to call it the gaming network but it was too close to the game show network sure so they were like well what about just g1 but g1.com was taken g2.com was taken g3.com was taken g4.com was the first available website and they have since gone on to say that the 4gs are gaming yes girls i don't know why it would be guys girls because a network for guys you want to have a lot of hot guys They can inspire Be like, Allison Look, you're on G4, right? Which do you like, girls or guys? It doesn't matter what I like, I'm on the network You're on the network

You're one of the network's top personalities I know, but I am on the network Because the guys like me Not because I like the guys So it's Gaming, girls, gear, and gadgets. I feel like gear and gadgets are too close. What's the difference between the gear?

Well, gear is supposed to also relate to cars and things like that. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Pocket knives. Sure. Pocket, yeah. But I have been told, and none of this is official.

This is all rumors that I've heard around the network that literally the G4 really stands for nothing. Now, where does the Snorks fit into this? They don't. So you're telling us. This Belgian cartoon from the 80s does not factor into their business. Because I've experienced secondhand the popularity of the Snorks in the G4 Target demo. You have.

Yeah. I'm just saying. Snorks. I think Teenage demo you have yeah i'm just saying snorks well maybe i think teenage mutant ninja turtles might be a bit more popular with our demo fair enough yes um i'll tell you what's really popular in the demo what's really popular i had this amazing dream last night you guys this is a creepy way to start a story um i just something that i never remember what happens in my dreams i don't know if you guys are big big on like uh actually having storylines in your dreams or whatever i do uh my dreams are never anything uh nothing i don't have like recurring panic like no there's just it's just

a big wall of nothing but somehow last night i had a dream that I had to speak at Richard Kind's funeral. Oh, wow. Now, we should explain who Richard Kind is. Yeah. Because you guys obviously know who Richard is. You guys are Hollywood insiders. He's that guy. We've interviewed him at all the big junkets.

He's a very talented comic actor, best known from Mad About You and Spin City, known as kind of a big sad sack. Typically he plays it. And he was wonderful in A Serious Man, the Coen Brothers movie. Oh, yeah, yeah. But he talks like this. A question. Yeah. Why the fuck did you dream that?

Stupid. Well, wait. Let's get into the specifics number one it was in a uh synagogue slash arena type space whoa oh wow for jewish sports i presume so professional kvetching yeah it was it's the hank greenberg uh sean green jewish sports and synagogue arena Sean Green, Jewish Sports and Synagogue Arena. Synagogue Arena. There were four people speaking at this thing. It was full of people that Richard Kind knew from the world of entertainment and comedy. Right.

But I was responsible. My job was to share funny stories about Richard Kind's life. Yeah. But in this dream, I did not know Richard kind any better than i do in real life do you know richard kind in real life i'm not not not in the slightest only i know i know that i shared years of laughter with him on the television program mad about you um and you know i watched spin city a few times in syndication sure um but i had to share a funny story about him and i was upset because there was famous comedians like i remember um gosh what's the uh what's the very famous comedian who's also famous for being online

likes 12 different cop richard belzer richard belzer was there like richard the bells richard belzer was one of the speakers at at the funeral and uh he was being serious and I was the comic relief. And also, it was a synagogue and I didn't have a yarmulke. So I had to get a disposable... I'm not Jewish. But I had to get a disposable yarmulke because it was a yarmulke

required event. Like when you go to your friend's bar mitzvah. And for some reason, the yarmulke I got was held on by like the kind of elastic strap that's on a cardboard party hat. That's amazing. And so I was terrified that I had to be funny at Richard Kind's funeral. And what I thought was, this is what I'll do. I'll speak on the way that it's so complicated the way that faith brings us together

and i'll try and milk some yucks out of that topic wait but i figured i would tell jordan's story what about you fucking biter you're stealing my story for a big funeral in his dreams too jordan's story about uh the uh about the family whose father is in the hospital and they all join hands uh to say grace that was an episode of glee yeah and um and then the uh little the little child says he wants to say grace and they all think he's going to say a prayer for uh the father and then he says dear god how about some peasants look actual story real story you were at this uh no this is like super third hand oh okay um but a beautiful tale yeah yes um worth retelling and um and then someone spoke on that theme i I don't remember what they said, but they said something on that theme. And I felt like, no, I felt like if I said my story, it would be duplicative.

And then for some reason, someone was throwing footballs into the crowd. Because it was the arena. Yeah, right? I mean, Richard Kyd's funeral probably had to coincide with spring training. It was more like amphitheater, like the kind of place you would go see Earth, Wind & Fire. Okay. Why would you go see Earth, Wind & Fire? Well, because you're an older African-American lady.

Sure. Have you guys ever driven past? Because you're a nice Filipina lady in her 40s that works at Kaiser. Wait, have you guys driven past the restaurant that's on Wilshire down in Santa Monica? Earth, Wind, and Flower. Sure. Which I look at it and I go, did they just totally rip off the band? No, I say it's owned by Maurice White of Earth, Wind, and Fire.

Yeah, I don't know whether I want to go in there or not. Me neither. I feel like I've been struggling with that for, I don't know, five years? Exactly. Ever since I've lived in LA. I know. I'm like, do I go in there or not? And I still haven't. Me neither. But anyway. I don't know, five years. Exactly. Ever since I've lived in L.A. I'm like, do I go in there or not? And I still haven't.

Me neither. But anyway. I don't know what this means. It's a constant struggle. Exactly. I don't know what the meaning of that dream is. Yeah. It means you smoked too much pot before you went to bed.

I guess I shouldn't. You know, maybe I should stop, like, because I masturbate before bed so I can get to sleep. I should stop masturbating to Richard Kind. Yeah, sure. That makes a lot of sense. None of that is true. That's probably it. I like that you just so I can get to sleep. I should stop masturbating to Richard Kind. Yeah, sure. That makes a lot of sense. That's probably it. I like that you just had to clarify that for us. Well, I don't want people to think that I'm being gross.

Sure. Whoa. Watch out. You're going to break the equipment. I know, seriously. I'm going to turn my mic off again. Have you ever had a celebrity dream, Allison? I have celebrity dreams all the time.

Really? Of course. Well, number one. That's why. She probably dreams a lot about Allison Hayslip from G4. God, her feet must be so hot. Oh, God. They're not. I have it on good authority.

They're grotesquely misshapen. They're hooves. Yeah. She's a centaur. Wait, who doesn't dream about celebrities? I'm trying to think if I've had a... I don't know. I can't think of a celebrity dream off the top of my head.

Really? Yeah, yeah. Well, you had that dream where Dan Aykroyd was really fat, and he was performing on the stage in the theater. I don't remember this dream. Did I tell you about this? And then one of his children—this was on An Ancient Sound of Young America. This was when we were in college. I've remembered it ever since. Okay. Please relate my dream to me.

One of his children, who was also very obese he was doing like a one-man show in the theater uh one of his children stood up in the balcony and said i want to demonstrate that fat people can perform amazing feats and then jumped from the balcony into the uh lower level of the theater and died oh my gosh that sounds like an awesome dream yeah i did fat dan akroyd in it that's why i mentioned okay nice what was the last celebrity dream you had oh i don't know off the top of my head um i really don't know i know that i used to dream about leonardo dicaprio a lot when i was in high school oh sure that's weird that's weird that's weird to let you i think for a lot of people it's

either leonardo dicaprio or richard kind Exactly. Or Fat Dan Aykroyd. Obviously. We have all the bases covered. The big three of erotic dreaming. Yeah. What era of DiCaprio was this? Was this the beach? Post-Titanic. No, like Growing Pains. Oh, wow.

Okay. Right? And then I actually got to interview him. Actually, I've- I like that you said, right. Right? You know what I'm talking about. That's when he's at his most fuckable.

Growing Pains. But since I've lived in Los Angeles, Right? Right? You know what I'm talking about. That's when he's at his most fuckable. Right, exactly. But, you know, since I've lived in Los Angeles, I've actually crossed paths with Leo a couple of times. And it's just so funny. He's such... Have you interviewed him before? No, I don't think they would let fucking Johnny Diaper near DiCaprio. He's a very just, like like charming, well-spoken guy, but every time I talk to him I leave the room going

I don't get why I dreamed about you all through high school. Really? He doesn't do it for me anymore. You know what? I still think he's like an incredibly talented actor. Although I did just watch Shutter Island. Yeah, it's on Netflix on demand. Holy crap, that's awful. Oh, I didn't mind it. I kind of liked it. I thought it was a lot of fun. I did not.

Here's, I have some thoughts it. I kind of liked it. I thought it was a lot of fun. I did not. Here's, I have some thoughts about Leonardo DiCaprio. Yes. That I've dreamt. No. So he's kind of like mysterious. He does a good job of staying out of the tabloids. You never hear about DiCaprio's wild weekend

with a Kardashian or something like that. He always stays classy. He always picks pretty classy film projects. Maybe Shutter Island aside. With the possible exception of his dinosaur bidding war. With Nicolas Cage? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

What? Oh, yeah. Nicolas Cage just barely outbid him for a dinosaur skull. Oh, my God. That's kind of amazing. And that's maybe part of the reason Nicolas Cage is in IRS trouble, because he makes weird purchases like that. Right, right.

Anyways, but I— Do you think maybe Leonardo DiCaprio was sort of strawbitting so that he could push the price up and bankrupt Cage and get rid of him? Bankrupt Cage? Yeah, so he could get some of those roles that he and Nicolas Cage are up for at the same time. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Oh, man. Have you ever interviewed Nicolas Cage cage yes i have he he's he's an interesting fellow yeah sure he he does seem like he's looking into your soul yeah you're seeing everything that's wrong with you but he loves you anyway i must have i've probably

interviewed him four times now i want to say and the last time was at comic-con for a drive angry that movie that's coming out now looks great and but you know you you've done the comic-con interviews right no you know i don't uh no i have not done oh so when you do like the press lines at comic-con most of the time it's on projects that have literally just been announced so you haven't even seen a trailer like you you do not know what this project is about um you're like what the fuck is drive angry i have to make up all these questions and i'm like i don't even know what to talk to you about because i don't know what this movie is um so we get to nicholas cage nicholas cage is this one of

the movies where you'll be a wonderful compelling actor or batshit insane which one will this be i think it's probably more like nicholas Cage, in this film, how would you describe your emotional state while driving? Yeah, exactly. But that's the thing. I say to him, I was like, the only thing that we know about this film is that it starts off with you breaking out of hell. Where do we go from there? And he goes, no joke, he kind of puts his head down and runs his hand through his hair and he goes. His crazy, crazy hair.

Yeah, he goes, well, in some way, aren't we all trying to break out of our own personal hell? And I was like, are you fucking with me right now, Nick Cage? Of course that's what he said. Oh. And then they cut to the alligator. And then they cut to the iguana's eye view. And then the guy started break dancing. The ghost started break dancing.

Yeah. Of course that's what he would. The ghost started breakdancing. The ghost started breakdancing. Yeah. Of course that's what he would. Nicolas Cage, I think the only person more like themselves is Vince Vaughn. Like, I feel like Nicolas Cage is super Nicolas Cage-y, and he's only maybe out-selfed by Vince Vaughn.

Anyway. But Vince Vaughn, at least, is relatively normal? I don't know. I saw Vince Vaughn on the David Letterman program, and I thought maybe he was a madman. Like, he's brilliant. I think Vince Vaughn is extremely funny, very talented guy. But I really got the impression that maybe he was an out-of-control madman. Can I get that? Maybe. Not even necessarily in a bad way I was just going to say that anytime I've ever read a script

that Vince Vaughn is in the language is exactly how Vince Vaughn speaks like they write it I mean he must go through the script and rewrite it to be like Vince Vaughn wouldn't say it like this you know I have some more weird catchphrases

but I would rather be stuck in an elevator with Vince Vaughn than Nicolas Cage. Yeah. Yeah. I think, I don't know. I think Nicolas Cage is more likely to blow your mind within the span of an elevator ride. Well, I meant like stuck, like if we're stuck in an elevator. Oh, okay.

Sure. I'm not talking like the 30-second ride to the eighth floor. I mean like if the elevator broke down. I think I have a better chance of surviving if I'm with Vince Vaughn than Nick Cage. Well, for one thing, Vince Vaughn is a monstrously huge man. He could probably pick me up and I could escape out the elevator shaft. He's like 7'7", 5'20". It's funny.

I saw the movie that he's in now with Kevin James, The Dilemma. The Dilemma. And a lot is made of the fact that like of Kevin James james's weight in the movie there's a lot of like references like you know maybe him not being svelte yeah him maybe him not being good looking enough for his wife winona rider uh but i'm like you know what vince vaughn's as fat as kevin james now like there are two fat guys in this movie yeah he is just taller so yeah it seems like it seems weird that one like vince vaughn is playing the role of the thinner friend yeah he's not really anyway what about ron howard's brother what did he do clint howard oh clint howard's hilarious in that movie he plays uh he plays

the um owner of the botanical gardens and he lectures vince vaughn on poisonous flowers it's a great run Howard performance. Excuse me. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Moore's boy detective. Alison Hayslip, defender of the universe. Hey, listen, we got this Jumbotron-style

sponsorship program here on Jordan, Jesse, go. Sure. All you got to do is email Teresa, our development director, Teresa at MaximumFun.org and let her know what message you would like us to share on Jordan, Jesse, go. And a hundred bucks

for a personal message, 150 bucks for a commercial message. We will share it. And we just got this huge box of at least $150 worth of stuff from FuzzyBallsApparel.com. Pretty awesome. Fuzzy Balls Apparel?

Yeah, Fuzzy Balls Apparel. No balls should be fuzzy. Hey, guys. Here's a tip. Just letting you know. Cheers. The gentleman who runs FuzzyBallsApparel.com has been a supporter of ours for quite a long time, and he's a character artist, and he created all these these characters launched this popular line of t-shirts

but when I knew when I spoke with him about it a couple years ago on the emails it was just t-shirts and he sent us all kinds of products here there's mugs, buttons here's a lady t-shirt that's for Allison

it's of a unicorn it's a purple shirt with a pink unicorn it says i'm sexy and horny but it's kind of it's kind of a nice it's got a you got a purple underwear wow look at this here's some for gordon that's me gordon oh the underwear also says i'm sexy and horny uh here's some stickers and i have have some boys briefs here. Here, Allison, here's some matching stickers for you. This looks like a passport. Oh, and I also have some boys briefs with the same unicorn. I'm sexy and horny.

Oh, look at those. They're also like mint green. We've got these collectible toys, Los Huevos, that look like hard-boiled eggs. There's one for you, Allison, and one for you, Jordan. Fantastic. Thank you. Sarah's wand. We got this mug. Of course, Jordan, you like coffee, so one for you, Jordan. Thank you. There is Juan. We got this mug. Of course, Jordan, you like coffee, so I'm going to give you this mug.

Which egg did you get, Jordan? I got an egg that is called, I don't know, it's got a skull on it. It's a skull egg. The name's in the corner, isn't it? Oh, wait, maybe it's not. This is Raul, the skeleton bear in a bear costume. Creepy and cute. I have...

Kierda? Is that how you say it? I can't speak Spanish. Oh, I don't know. Here's Gato, the cat. The cat egg. Sure. Here you go, Jordan.

You're a cat enthusiast. I am a cat enthusiast. Oh, and this is Bastardo. He's mostly a jerk. It's his lifestyle. This is a huge box of stuff from Fuzzy Balls. Yeah, yeah. I was browsing the Fuzzy Balls website. Some very handsome stuff. Do you like it when Yeah yeah Fuzzy balls I was browsing the fuzzy balls website

Some very handsome stuff Do you like it when you browse fuzzy balls? I do yes That's why I subscribe to hot wet men Hot wet fuzzy men Allison just so you know When you come on our program You go home with goodies

From fuzzyballsapparel.com apparently I know I like it So yeah definitely way way nicer and more artistic than your typical funny internet t-shirt. Yeah, no, it is. This is not a snorg tease situation. I believe that this is a patch, by the way, that says DIY, like do it yourself. Sure.

But the eye, I think's a dildo. I think it's a vibrator. Yeah, a vibrator. Look at the power bottom. Oh, yeah. Good call. do it yourself. Sure. But the I, I think it's a dildo. I think it's a vibrator. Yeah, a vibrator. Look at the power bottom. Oh, yeah, good call. Do it yourself? Maybe that's the joke? Do it yourself.

You have to hit the- Sexually. Sure. Yes. I want to be clear that not all of this stuff is vulgar. No. Most of it is not vulgar. Just all the stuff you hand me.

Right. Well, that's what the lady stuff was. You want the pint glass? I gave you a pile of little patches and whatnot. Okay, Jordan, these are for you. This is the Boxo Mystery t-shirts. Great. Ooh, open them up.

See what's in there. So yeah, this is some very nice stuff. Yeah, it's very nice. So thank you very much. And Jordan also gets a pint glass here. Oh, hey. It's all at fuzzyballsapparel.com. If you want to sponsor an upcoming episode

of Jordan, Jesse, Go, just email our development director at Teresa at MaximumFun.org. By the way, Yes. our good friends from our other MaxFun Talk podcast, Stop Podcasting Yourself,

North of the Border, and our friends at My Brother, My Brother and Me are opening up this very same program. So drop Teresa a line. We talked about My Brother, My Brother and Me coming on board, right? We did, yes. Very exciting news. I've really been enjoying listening to their program. It's a hilarious show.

We're happy and excited that some of their listeners are trying out our program. So that's what networks are all about our program. So, you know, that's what networks are all about, right? Yes. Networking. Jordan. Yes, Jesse. For the last several years, I have been getting email after email after email asking for

the classic Jordan Jesse Go t-shirt. Ooh. What's that? There are Jordan Jesse Go t-shirts. There are Jordan Jesse Go t-shirts and have been Jordan Jesse Go t-shirts. There are Jordan Jesse Go t-shirts and have been Jordan Jesse Go t-shirts on our website, in our store at maxfundstore.com. But we did a special one-off print run of what I think was probably the most popular shirt in Jordan Jesse Go history, in MaximumFun.org history, three or four years ago now. But it's back in a big way yeah i mean that's the thing i have been getting emails like people somebody spilled something on it they want to buy a new one like this is sincerely the most popular single product we've ever made but we

made it limited time only and i decided to open it up to the public it is the classic jordan jesse go t-shirt is a beautiful shirt it is navy blue with the Jordan Jesse Go race car on the front. It is clean, simple. It's something that will make members of the opposite sex want to talk to you at the gym. Sure. Wow. And it's now available along with the beautiful new

Did You Check Out the News Stop Podcasting Yourself t-shirt? I did. It looks fantastic. It's got a cool crest on it with Graham and Dave on there and some other vancouver type stuff anyway it's all online at max fun store.com but i'm so excited about this t-shirt because it finally means that i get to stop having to deal with people uh fucking emailing me uh people fucking demanding demanding them hey at least it's not for pictures of your feet. That's true. You assume. True. You assume. Jesse, I have two concerns.

One, I want that t-shirt. I'd like you to reissue my favorite shirt. Second, something foot related. My feet are grotesquely misshapen. I know. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Hey, wait, no, wait, don't go yet. It's me, Jesse. I forgot to mention

or we forgot to mention i guess that the good folks at fuzzyballsapparel.com have a special offer for jordan jesse go listeners uh all orders of 25 or more get an extra mystery pack filled with goodies orders of 50 or more get all those goodies and one pair of hot unicorn mantis, which I think is panties for men. Oh, God, I guess that's what I gave Jordan. Anyway, you just have to write Jordan Jesse Go and what size mantis you wear. Just check your mantis drawer

when you check out from them. Also, free shipping on all United States orders. That's all at Fballsapparel.com. Okay, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. The program Jordan, Jesse, go. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, boy detective. Allison Hayslip, defender of the universe. Visiting us from the world of television. It is. The Games, Gators, Gambling, and Goofus Network. Four. When something momentous happens in our listeners' lives, Allison, we ask them to give us a telephone call. Ooh.

Either as it happens or in the immediate aftermath for a segment we call Momentous Occasions. We've got a few calls. They were screened by our brand new intern, Lindsay. Thank you, Lindsay. Wow. Let's see what Lindsay pulled out of the muck and mire for us. Hello, Jordan. Hello, Jesse. Hello, Go.

This is Mike from Minneapolis calling with a momentous occasion. I'm just calling because I just had my firstborn son. His name will be Harrison, and he will be a good man. Take care of yourself. I like it. Too bad Harrison's a chick. and he will be a good man. Take care of yourself. I like it. Yeah, hello, Harrison. Too bad Harrison's a chick. Yeah.

If I have anything to say about it, this little girl's going to be a man. That was nice. Good sturdy name, Harrison. Harrison's a solid name. Had a friend in high school named Harrison. Yes. Called him Chuckles.

Makes no sense. Don't remember why. Do you think his last name's Ford? That'd be great. Yeah, it is. Do you think his child is Harrison Ford? Oh, my gosh. Yeah. It is. Do you think his child is Harrison Ford? Oh my gosh! She's been reborn! I'm such a huge fan! In Minneapolis?

Is that where he's from? Yeah. Ask him if he knows how to fly a helicopter. Obviously. Hey, Jordan, Jessica. This is Derek from Nashville. I've got a good for a moment this occasion for you. I just went to the post office to deliver a package to a friend, and I was I've been post office to deliver a package to a friend.

And I've been recently trying to be more friendly to people in public because generally I'm like the earbuds and eyes straightforward, not really looking at anyone. You know, I thought maybe I could gain some positive karma or some bullshit if I... No, if I'm spending a lot of money,

I don't have to talk to that. He's got a winning attitude. So he mailed my package and all that, and I said, hey, how are you doing today? And he said, well, pretty good. And then he proceeded to tell me about the food he ate last night and what did it do his bowels. It went on way too long. There were people waiting in line behind us. I'm getting anxious because there are people waiting, and they're thinking it's me or something.

And I'm sitting here listening to this 50-year-old man tell me about his bowel movements because of barbecue or something. Wow. Yeah, see, that's your lesson. Never talk to people. Once at the post office, when I first moved here to Silver Lake in Los Angeles, I was visiting the post office and I was not familiar with the post office and its personnel yet. You know, you get familiar with the folks that work at your local post office. Oh, absolutely. I'm on first name basis with everyone at my post office.

So I'm being friendly, as I am known to be. Sure. I've heard rumors about that. Yeah. sure i've heard rumors about that yeah and um the lady at the post office tried to sell me pills that you put in your gas tank to improve your gas mileage but she was so nice about it she obviously believed in them and she was not pushing them on me necessarily she's like hey i like you i want to help you improve your gas mileage yeah and and so i couldn't even be i couldn't even bring myself

to be offended that she was being huckstering me at uh when i went to the department of water and power a guy tried to sell me a sola flex why did you go to the department of water and power i didn't that was a made-up comedy scenario let's go to the calls of Water and Power? I didn't. That was a made-up comedy scenario. Let's go to the calls. Hey, Jordan and Jesse. I'm calling with a moment of occasion. I was just alerted today, or I was just alerted by my high school girlfriend that today is the 10th anniversary of us losing our virginities together.

So here's to a decade of doing it. Have a great day. Bye. I think now would be a good time to raise that fuzzyballsapparel.com pint glass you got. Here's to a decade of doing it. You still keep in touch with your high school girlfriend? Wait, time out. I do have a story about this.

Oh, yes. Me and my boyfriend from high school, we lost our virginity to each other. And we always call each other on the day. Maybe not call. Like sometimes it's a text or like an email or just like, hey, congratulations. It was however many years ago today. What? I'm actually wondering.

I'm like, is this my boyfriend from high school? It doesn't sound like it. Yeah, right. That is really funny. I was like, oh my God, someone else on this planet does it too. That is so weird to me. Yeah. You know, I don't keep in touch with my high school girlfriend.

I mean, we do not talk. Apart from sex day. Apart from it being that one day and being like, hey, congrats. That is so weird to me. I'm married to my high school girlfriend. I did have a high school girlfriend before that high school girlfriend. Do you guys remember? Do you and Teresa remember the day you first bonked?

And do you celebrate it with, you know, something? Text messages? Do you text each other? Jordan, I'm a classy gentleman. Sure. Who's married to a beautiful and classy woman. We've never done it. Oh, you respect her too much. That's why you have dogs. Yeah.

That's why I have dogs that are sexually excited by me, as we learned earlier in the program. Yo, Jordan, Jesse, go! Momentous occasion, bitches. Don't call us bitches. I'm not a bitch. And I heard my moment of shame, but it's now a momentous occasion, because you played it shit. I'm thinking about firing Lindsay, the new intern.

I didn't like being called a bitch. I don't like that. Hey, that guy was excited. You made his day. And now you just made his day again. So you know what? He's going to call in again for another momentous occasion. Yeah, this is like an Inception situation now. We're seven layers in.

That's a dip. The time that something embarrassing that he did. If you're thinking of that Trader Joe's guacamole dip. I'm just really hungry right now. Led to a college student getting fired from her media internship. Well, you know, you can't win them all. Can't. Three nice ones there, right?

Good batch. We're still taking calls on your sci-fi nightmare creatures, by the way. We're going to talk about that next week on this very program. 206-9844-FUND, the number to call if you ever want to give us a telephone call. Want to ask us a question or something? Anything. You know, here's something about these My Brother, My Brother and Me's. Their program is an advice show for the modern age.

It's a new Maximum Fund Out org affiliate, My Brother, My Brother and Me's. Their program is an advice show for the modern age. It's new Maximum Fund Out Org affiliate, My Brother, My Brother and Me. We can out-advice those guys. Yeah, any day. I have no doubt about it. You need some fucking guidance? We'll guide the shit out of you. And hey, just because I'm kind of jealous of Allison.

Why are you jealous of me? Until the next week, I will take requests for pictures of certain parts of my body. I will not entertain all of them, but I'm willing to at least, I'm willing to hear it out. JJGo at MaximumFun.org is the email to email Jordan at. I'm going to tweet that shit, Jordan. Do it. Say it.

Let everybody know that for the next week, I am taking requests for pics of certain body parts. You will be fielding requests. Yes. You've opened fielding requests. Yes. You've opened the Jordan Morris mailbag. Yeah. And you're allowing letters to fly in there. Right. There you go.

By the way, if you're interested in increased gas mileage... Or rock hard abs. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart la, la, la, la. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Alison Hayslip, defender of the universe. Alison Hayslip, of course, you know from the Attack of the Show program,

hosted by Kevin Sprinkles Pereira, and a new co-host, if I'm not mistaken. Yes, Miss Candice Bailey. Miss Candice Bailey, the delightful and charming, I'm sure, Candice Bailey. You don't have cable TV, so you've never watched. I've watched Attack of the Show a couple of times.

Online. Yeah. In three-minute doses. In a tiny internet window with bad resolution. Allison, it was very kind of you to visit our program. Thank you very much for being here. Thank you, guys. This was very exciting. Jordan let me know yesterday that I would be coming on. Yes. Allison will spring into action when you need a guest for your program.

The reality is that Allison Hayslip has to get to a dance party. I do. I'm going to a dance party. We've got to wrap this stuff up. Sure. Or Allison's going to miss her fucking dance party. I know. I gots to dance.

I know this is all audio, but I'm in my dance dress and my dance boots. I can confirm this. Yes. And I can literally see the ants in your pants. I know. I can see them crawling around in there. I have realized the whole time I've been sitting here that my skirt is very short to be sitting down with not a table in front of me. I've been keeping my legs crossed.

We usually provide a table. Like a lady should. Like a lady. Thank you for being ladylike on this podcast. You're very welcome. It's very rare. Occasionally we'll get a cable TV celebrity in here just showing their privates. Flashing the cooch.

Yep. We don't need that. The new Jordan Jesse Go t-shirt. You can take a look at it on the forum. You can take a look at it at maxfundstore.com. I think we're going to sell a lot of this t-shirt, Jordan. Why wouldn't we? It's handsome.

It's a beautiful t-shirt. Scott Simpson told me. This is Scott Simpson, our friend from You Look Nice Today. Sure. An authority. Scott Simpson tells me he likes to wear this t-shirt to the gym. Every time he wears it to the gym, a lady walks up to him and touches him. That also means that he likes to just sweat in your shirt.

Yeah. It's good for sweating in. Yeah, it's good for sweating in. Yeah, it's good for sweating in. We're going to sweat. Let's say you're a hot wet man. Let's say. There's a magazine devoted to you that Jesse's neighbor gets. 206-984-4FUN

the telephone number. JJGO at MaximumFun.org. Our theme music is Love You by The Free Design from Kites Are Fun, the best of the free design, courtesy of our friends at Light in the Attic Records. Our sincere thanks for that.

You can discuss this program with us and every other Jordan Jesse Go fan at MaximumFun.org's forums. And hey, check out our little newest show on the Maximum Fun Network, My Brother, My Brother and Me. I think people who like this program will really like My Brother, My Brother and Me. I think people who like this program will really like My Brother, My Brother and Me based on the fact that people have been tweeting me

for like the past 10 days, two weeks since we added them to the network about how much they have enjoyed listening to it and how it's their new favorite show and stuff. New second favorite show. Look at Twitter, letting us know what we should be doing. I know. Allison, you're

popular on Twitter. What's your tweet? What's your tweet name? It's at Allison Haislip. A-L-I-S-O-N-H-A-I-S-L-I-P. It's a picture of me holding a dog. Great. If you get another

Allison Haislip, it's not me. Just visit Twitter. Look for a picture of a lady holding a dog. Yes. I'm rather amusing in 140 characters.

You wearing your dance pants? We'll be back next week on Jordan and Jessie. Go!