Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 176: Kappa Kappa Kappa with Drew Droege

Episode Date: May 23, 2011

Drew Droege from the Glitter in the Garbage podcast joins us to talk about theater, Jamie Foxx's birthday party and sleeping in the bathtub.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys, and take off your shoes and socks and run you. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. And I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. And this is... Jordan, Jesse, go! Icicles, tricycles, ice cream, candy, lollipops, popsicles, licorice sticks, Solomon, friendly, maggoty, edgy, twux Klan than in any past episode of our program.

Let's go. Welcome to Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm your host for the program. Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Beautiful day in Los Angeles. Sun dappling the windows. I think I already brought up sun dappling the windows last week. Yeah, you know, I think maybe you've gone back to the dappling well.

Yeah, one too many times. Would you say the dapple well is dry? Are you making some sort of dappling t-shirt that you're just kind of surreptitiously plugging? This is a, this is plugging? I'm actually just working for the American Dappling Council. They're an organization that promotes the use of dappled lighting schemes. And I get

a lot of money to do buzz... Do you like their spokesman? No, it's like a buzz marketing thing. I'm actually not supposed to mention that I get paid to do this. It's because it's a buzz marketing thing. But I'm proud to be working with the Dapple people. They're really good people. They're based in Duluth.

Oh, great. How will this lead to new clips from Dark Knight Returns? Let's introduce our guest on the program. You, of course, know him as the host of the hot new podcast, Glitter in the Garbage, from our friends at the Earwolf Network. You know him as an accomplished improv comic in Los Angeles, Mr. Drew Droege. Hello. How are you, sir? I'm great. How are you guys? It's a pleasure to have you. It's a pleasure to be here. Thanks for having me on here.

You got a French cuff. I do have a French cuff. I'm getting ready to go somewhere later. I have to present an award at the Sassy Prom. The Sassy Prom. I'm not really sure exactly what that is, but I'm going to present an award. And so I wore this shirt with cufflinks. I am super jealous of you right now that you're presenting an award at the Sassy Prom. Jesse, my life is wonderful. My life is just full of majesty. Wait, is this in some sort of sassy high school gymnasium? No, I think this is at a sassy gay bar called

Eleven. Okay. And they crown a prom king and prom queen of West Hollywood. I live in West Hollywood. Why am I not up for this? I'm sorry. I'm rubbing it in Did you know that Jordan was prom king of his high school? Were you really?

Homecoming king? Homecoming king I have told this a few times But I think it's worth saying out loud I did win homecoming king And then years later on MySpace An old high school acquaintance contacted me And he's like Oh oh, hey, you know

when you won Homecoming King, I worked in the office. You didn't win, but I rigged it so you did. I am a false Homecoming King. Well, at least they didn't dump pig's blood on you. Yeah, no, it was not a carry. Because they rigged that so that they could make fun

of carry, but that was a nice thing that he rigged it for you to actually win, and that's really great. It was sort of a pig's blood bath of adulation. I think a boxing glove on a spring was supposed to hit me in the nuts, but it just jammed up. So they're like, well,

let him have his day. At my high school, the homecoming dance was canceled because our principal, I guess the homecoming dance was canceled because our principal, I guess the homecoming dance the year before, there was lots of dirty dancing. And so he canceled the dance

the next year. But the president of our student body really got to the matter and what really bothered him was all the interracial dancing. And she took it to such a high level that we were on jay leno our high school is on jay leno for our canceled homecoming dance is this like jay leno's uh is this jay leno's canceled daytime talk show that was a replacement for donahue no it was when he was on the tonight

show no wait a minute wait a minute what year was this maybe it was conan how can i get those two confused i think it was jay leno though though. Was Jay Leno around in like 95, 94? Yeah, I think so. He was hosting The Tonight Show. Carson played around like 91, 92. Yeah, so it was The Tonight Show. It was Jay Leno for sure. We just were mentioned in his monologue.

We all were like, oh my god, we've made it. Was there a makeup dance? No, there was just no dance. But this girl, Olivia Page was her name, and she was awesome. She was just this really big rabble rouser, and she was like, I'm taking this to the streets. You're going to hear about this. Now, was it interracial dancing period, or was it dirty interracial dancing?

Oh, it was very dirty. Let's be clear. Let's be very clear. Those other races have a different idea of dancing. I've seen those other races dance. But it was very much the white girls are grinding up with the black guys. And this principal just had a real issue with that. It's pretty crazy.

This was the 90s. And it was like really you guys if we're talking about 1994 i would imagine that some of the concerns centered around people who were doing the tootsie roll oh yeah there was lots of tootsie roll and cabbage patch and are those dirty dances though i can't really see roll is the tootsie roll was pretty dirty yeah it's essentially a type of penis thrust right let me see your tootsie roll. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, you know, down with OPP. You know what that means.

You know, this has come up before. Like, the whole, every kind of early 90s hip-hop thing, I just have no idea about. Really? Like, I don't even know what a Tupac song is. Oh, wow. OPP is Other People's Pussy. Okay. Yeah. Great. And there's a dance

associated with that where someone else is dancing with a girl and you reach out and grab her pussy. It's actually a great song. Is that Cypress Hill? Is that right? That's Naughty by Nature. Naughty by Nature. Okay. Yeah. OPP I think is an example of an early

90s novelty hip-hop hit that is actually a truly great song. It really is. It's a great song. A truly great song. It's great beat. Naughty by Nature. Wonderful group.

Are you being serious? Yes, absolutely. I agree with you. I totally agree with you. It's a great song. No, it's not like a kid and play song or something. Right, right. That was a time period when there were songs

where it just had a catchy thing in the chorus and it became a huge hit. And it's still something that like a, you know, now, I guess, 29 year old or 31 year old woman wants to yell in the chorus at a wedding because she's drunk. Well, that's better than Journey or I Like Big Butts. Yeah, well, exactly. Well, that's better than Journey or I Like Big Butts. Yeah, well, exactly. No, I think there's a whole world of I Like Big Butts hip-hop songs from between 1989 and 1993. But this is in that genre but of a higher quality. But actually really good.

It's actually a really good song. This is exceptionally. I would even say that while it has that characteristic of having a part that you yell, along with Naughty by Nature's other huge hit, Hip Hop Hooray, A Part That You Yell, along with Naughty by Nature's other huge hit, Hip Hop Hooray. Okay. I would say both of those songs are songs that have A Part That You Yell, but are eminently credible and just wonderful, wonderful songs. Now, when I'm thinking of Naughty by Nature, when I have a picture in my head of who Naughty by Nature is, and keep in mind, I am so ignorant on this subject, isn't Naughty by Nature a

white guy in a basketball jersey with a, um, with like a shamrock tattoo? No, that's House of Pain. That's House of Pain. What's that? House of Pain is an Irish hip-hop group that featured Everlast. I would imagine that you would

know Everlast from... House of Pain sang the song Jump. Okay. Oh, okay. That's probably what I'm... And Naughty by Nature is not that. No, not at all. And you know what? Jump isn't that bad of a song. It's not bad.

It's not a great song, but it's not a bad song. And Everlast... And it's all nostalgic for me. You know, it's like I hear it all and I'm like, oh man, I loved that. What's the Foo Fighters? I love... I know what that is. What is pizza?

Yes. The Foo Fighters is the thing that people like to tell you is funny for a rock and roll band. Sure. Guys, can I change the subject real quick? Please. I'd rather you did. Did it get too real? It did get a little too real.

Okay. Once we started bagging on the Foo Fighters... Well, I think you got shook when we brought up Naughty by Nature, specifically Trigger Trash. I'm just worried someone's going to try and grab my pussy. I just don't want any... You got shook when we brought up Naughty by Nature, specifically Trigger Tretch. I'm just worried someone's going to try and grab my pussy. I just don't want any... If I'm worried about my pussy... Tretch, the primary emcee in Naughty by Nature, did do a number of borderline porno movies.

Really? He did like a... In the early 2000s, he did a number of kind of Skinamax type. Wow. Sort of R plus rated movies. Oh, wow. As an actor. Didn't Snoop Dogg have a line of porno movies?

He briefly had a line of porno movies. That he was in or that he just produced? I don't know. He like hosted a Girls Gone Wild or something. He had his own Girls Gone Wild, I think. I do know that because a girl from my high school was in the ad for that. Oh, wow. She wasn't in it? She was just in the ad?

I did not see the Girls Gone Wild, so I cannot confirm if she's actually in it, but she was definitely in the ad. Big news. That's really bad for the girl because you get the sort of double-edged sword of not only are you in the Girls Gone Wild video

Which is bad enough Which you have to presume she is Right But she's in the advertisement So people can say that they saw her Without admitting Without even having watched Exactly

Girls Gone Wild video And I mean, this wasn't just someone I mean, we were in a musical We were in The Boyfriend together Like, we had on Straw Boaters And we did Charleston We sang about That's the one That certain thing called The Boyfriend together. Like, we had on Straw Boaters and we did the Charleston. We sang about, we sang about, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da, that certain thing called The Boyfriend. So that was truly the end of the innocence for me when I was watching Mystery Science

Theater 3000 at two in the morning on Comedy Central and her head came on. That was Daisy Mae or Hortense. I know that show. Yeah, yeah. That was my first high school musical. Wow. You and I, Jordan, were wanting to change the subject. Oh, I that show. Yeah, yeah. That was my first high school musical. You and Jordan were wanting to change the subject.

Oh, I'm sorry. That's right. Do you know anything about Snoop Dogg's porno movies? Other than his Girls Gone Wild? He did do an actual hardcore porno movie. That he was in? He did not show his dick or anything. He was in it.

I'm glad he didn't do that. That would just be rude. He's, as I understand it, I didn't watch the films, but as I understand it from my memories of the time that they came out, I think the deal was that he was present,

but not fucking. Was he in the same room? Was he like pointing to the people fucking saying, check this out? Yeah, I think that's what it was like. That's like even worse.

I don't think it was like just interstitial pieces. Right. You know, where it was just like him in front of the Arc de Triomphe or whatever. And he's like, yo, it's Snoopy D-O-double-G. Check out these people fucking. And then it cuts to people fucking. I guess I'm thinking of when I think of how he could be involved and not be fucking. I remembering the Skinamax of my youth, and they always had, like, a framing device, and it was either, like, a sexy call-in talk show.

Uh-huh. Or, like, a woman who had an advice column. Sure. Shannon Tweed was a scientist sometimes. Yes, right. She would have, she'd be like a chemistry professor at a very erotic college. Or there'd be something happening. Yeah, and she's like, today we're going to explore the human-animal.

Tell me your most sexual interlude. And then someone would tell it, and you would see the fucking, and they would go back. They may have even made the Snoop Dogg porno movie at Snoop Dogg's house. Wow. He probably had a wife and kids at this point right he i think he's pretty much always had a wife and kids yeah um i think he's separated from his wife now but he was he was with his wife for a really long time well she stayed with him through the porno movie yeah that's pretty i think she was with him in the porno movie time I actually, probably my number one most exciting thing that happened to me in Los Angeles was when I was in Malibu with my wife hiking, which is something I don't enjoy. But it was redeemed by the fact that as we were hiking, I looked down and I saw and recognized Snoop Dogg's house from an episode of Cribs.

Wow. I was like, hey, that's the basketball court where he was playing basketball with Belbiv DeVoe. Oh, that's amazing. Or maybe it was Boyz II Men. I can't remember which R&B group he was playing basketball with, but he was playing basketball with an R&B group. Well, I actually, years ago when I was catering, I catered Jamie Foxx's birthday party at the Playboy Mansion. Not to name drop. I mean, I was in pretty good company that night, you guys.

And canapes? Did you have some nice canapes? I had some canapes. I think I remember I wrapped up some filet and went and hid in some closet somewhere and was like stuffing my face with filet. But yeah, that one time it was like there was a there was like you were you were stuffing my face with filet um but yeah like one time it was like there was there was like you were you were in there eating a filet and then uh james khan was fucking a playmate next to you in that same closet exactly shell silverstein was masturbating and um so so um so yeah so anyway anyway so like i got – I get this.

There was this rule. There was some rule that night that was like at 3 o'clock in the morning. 3 a.m. 3 a.m. They're like no more – like nothing served. You cannot get anything after 3 a.m., not just alcohol, nothing. We had to close up at 3 or whatever the thing was. I don't remember what the time was.

It may have been 4 or even 5. It was fucking ass cracker. So when you cater a celebrity birthday party, you have to – you're there from 8 p.m. to 7 a.m., right? Yeah. We're pretty much whenever they decide to be done. Right. And the whole thing was really – was so weird to me because this was like right after he got the Oscar, I think, and when it was like Jamie Foxx – because I've always been such a fan of him as an actor. I loved him on In Living Color, and I thought he was so great in Any Given Sunday.

So when he won the Oscar for Ray, I was like, good for him. He's awesome. Had you seen Ray? I had, and I did not like the movie, but I thought he was great in it. And it's like those biopics I usually don't – but still, it was like I was supportive of his success at the time. That was the same year that he was also nominated for Collateral, which I really liked. Yeah, I really liked Collateral. I'm like, well, I'll just pretend like he won for Collateral.

Oh, I loved Collateral too. That was a great – I thought that was a great movie. He was good in Ali too. Okay. In Halloween? Ali. Oh, in Ali. I was like, was he in Halloween?

No, that's Busta Rhymes. Anyway, so – Jamie Lee Curtis. Youmes Anyway so Jamie Lee Curtis You're thinking of Michael Myers I'm thinking of Donald Pleasence Donald Pleasence is in all those isn't he? He is Mr. Loomis I think

Anyway I'm a nerd The But this was before his whole like Gross like blaming on the alcohol And now he's sort of like much more of a joke It's like this guy but it was the first whole like gross like blaming on the alcohol yeah now he's sort of like a much more of a joke it's like this guy but it was the first taste i had of like oh you may not be because it was like at the playboy mansion and there were there were you know like 400 people there and everyone had different colored wristbands so it was like if you were like there

were like 30 people with one color wristband and those were like his actual friends and they can hang out in a certain place and then other people and then there were like people from central casting who were like pretty much hired to be there or they won a lot or something and they were just there and they were buying drinks like it was like gross and i was like this is your birthday party and like why do you need all these people around you that you're you don't know and for your birthday party it's really gross but um anyway i can feel better about his big blocky head. He does kind of have a big blocky head. But anyway, getting back to my story, at like 3 in the morning, they were like, nobody else.

And so finally this one – this big guy comes up to me and he was like, I need a Sprite. And I was like, I'm really sorry. I can't get you that. He's like, a Sprite? I'm like, I can't. We have a rule. We cannot. And the guy just looks at me and he goes, it's for Snoop.

I was like, okay, I'm on it. So I ran and risked my job and went and dove onto a truck and found – I'm making this sound so dramatic. I went and hit a Sprite and carried it in my Nehru jacket underneath it all and sort of sleekly, you know, it was almost like I was giving him, you know, heroin or something. Like in the morning, I got a Sprite for Snoop. Did you actually, did you have to serve Jamie Foxx at this party? No, I don't think I ever served him directly. He was like, had people around him all night, but I did give the Sprite directly to Snoop.

Oh, hey, wow. I made a point. I was like, if I'm going to get into trouble with this, because they were like, they were like, you will be in trouble. I mean, they made it so dire. They used to be so serious with this stupidest shit. So I was like, oh, if I'm going to do this, I'm walking right up to Snoop and be like, here you go, Mr. Dog. Compliments of Drew Droege. Sure. Remember me.

Droege did it. Your slogan, Droege did it. Droege did it. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. And I'm Drew Droege, guest. It's great to have Drew Droege here, huh, Jordan? And Drew, just so you know, you can make up a nickname over the course of the show.

Oh, I can? If you have one locked and loaded, go ahead and use that. All I have right now is flagship cupcake. I see no need to change it. That's what I just created, and I don't really want to judge it. No, I think it's great music. I mean, it came from an honest place. It came from a really honest place.

Of saying two things. Yep. Jordan, I know that it's like two weeks after your birthday now. I apologize for that. No, no. I did. Happy birthday. I gave you a gift to throw upon your birthday.

Yeah, sure. You came to my little get-together. You gave me a pipe, which I used the other day. I had the inaugural smoke. I tried to take little get-together. You gave me a pipe. It was real fun. Which I used the other day. I had the inaugural smoke. I tried to take a picture of it, but it was a little dark. What kind of pipe was it? Just kind of like a smoking pipe. Not a marijuana pipe.

Not like a marijuana pipe. A Dunhill tobacco pipe. Oh, how nice. The finest of tobacco products. I love that. And I was at a... It would be like Juno. Right.

Yes. No, it is. Yes. It is a little precious. It is a little... There may... Yes. There maybe is a Postal Service song that plays every time I light it. But I was at a bar, and I was on the patio, and I kind of had the, I kind of took it for the inaugural smoke. And I just got some tobacco, some loose tobacco at 7-Eleven.

So I'm like, oh, this bar has a great porch. I have the pipe. I can try it out. This will be awesome. And I, you know, I light try it out. This will be awesome. Um, and I, you know, I, I light it up and I would say it smokes great. And then I get,

she get this tap on my shoulder and it's just this hipster guy who I don't know. I mean, very classic, you know, beard, white pants, the whole deal. He just tapped me on the shoulder and he's like,

you know, that's not pipe tobacco. What? Oh, gross. Like really? Come on. I don't know you now in your, and he was just probably impressed. And he's like, you know, that's not pipe tobacco. What? Oh, gross. Like, really? Come on. I don't know you.

Now in your... And he was just probably impressed, like, from the smell. He could tell it wasn't pipe tobacco. Yeah, you should have been like, oh, I know. This is ironic. Right. I'm like, oh, you still use pipe tobacco in your pipe? Isn't it?

Yeah. I mean, you still listen to vinyl. Yeah. A, we're putting cigarette tobacco in pipes now, and we're listening to 8-Tracks. So sorry to drop those bombs on you, white pants. But I did... Now, let's slow down this talk about white pants in case anyone notices what color pants I'm wearing. Those aren't the type of white pants I meant, Jesse.

You know the kind of white pants I mean. Thank you. But I did get you a small birthday gift. I thought you might like it. Oh, thank you. This is nice. You're handing me a priority mail envelope. Yeah, for safety.

I don't want to cause any trouble. Wow. This is... Look at this. Oh, my God. A Bart Simpson. Oh, wow. A black Bart Simpson mirror.

It is black. Why? And he's slam dunking, and it says, Air Bart. Jesse, this is amazing. Where did you find this? I used internet to find it for you, George. Well, thank you very much. This is perhaps one of the top gifts of all time.

It's like a carnival prize mirror. Right. Yeah. Why is Bart Simpson black in this picture? He is black. This was actually a... Do you think it was just a weird screen print that they just got the color wrong? He's supposed to be is Bart Simpson black in this picture? He is black. This was actually a... Do you think it was just a weird screen print that they just got the color wrong? He's supposed to be Black Bart Simpson.

That's why it's Air Bart. Oh, because it's like Air Jordan. Yeah. I've never seen Black Bart Simpson before. Well, here's the thing. The other week on the program, I was talking about... That's weird to me. It's not like a Barbie.

It's very... Right. There can be multiple races. Right. Right. I get that, but not bart yeah i was talking the other week on the program about black bart simpson and how i felt like it was this vast untapped culture studies vein uh that needed to be excavated and you know the ore processed into

solid culture studies gold um and uh as an american Studies, having been an American Studies major in college, I felt like I was enough of an authority to say that there was some serious unpacking that needed to be done on that. Now, since I made that remark, multiple, not just one, but more than one culture studies professor has emailed me to say there is scholarship on this topic. And in fact, it is, it is included in some intro to, uh,

culture studies courses. Wow. There you go. So there is a link to the article. There's an article that is on our forum. Okay. I will. Cause that is just sort of,

that's so bizarre to me. Well, because it's a, it's a, it's an interesting example of intertextualism, because it combines Bart Simpson and all the representations of that with the cultural associations of a whole other... The Simpsons, and you've probably covered this before, but the Simpsons, I think, think really started out it was very much supported by the black community i mean it was a very when it started on fox it was you know it was right in with uh in living color and when mary but children same thing i think mary but children was also a very much a wily and you know not to you know completely blanket every you know

the entire african-american community or whatever but like, it wasn't, it was very much a black, I feel like black people really supported the Simpsons before smart hipster white kids did. Yeah. I really do. They didn't like the Simpsons as much as they liked Herman's head. As I remember it. Right.

Or the Thorn Birds. But Fox was, yeah, certainly Fox was at the time was trying to hit any niche audience it could to get audience in there and african-american audiences just like later upn would do uh where was it were a big part of that right certainly so i just don't understand why we had to make bart black on top of that i guess is my point well i think you're gonna need to spend some time with the literature i'm gonna have to right have to. Right, yeah. And what race are they? Are they Asian because they're yellow? Like, it

brings up a bunch of stuff. Yeah. They're definitely Asian. No, they're certainly Asian. Yeah. Did you not realize they were Asian this whole time? Oh my god, now it makes all it all make sense. I've got some shocking news about Margaret Cho to tell you later. Wait a minute, who? Oh boy.

This is going to rock your world. Well, thank you. This is a wonderful gift. It is. It really is. Confusing racial politics aside. I don't mean to besmirch it. It's a great gift.

Well, I just thought you would enjoy it. Happy birthday, George. I will. Thank you very much. I will display it proudly in my home. I know some important stuff is going on in your life. I didn't mean to distract from us talking about the important issues going on in your life. I just felt like given that it

came up, we should do it on the air. Yeah. Well, this is something I wanted to talk about. I know we're probably all tired of apocalypse remarks at this point. Right. Although, I will say that you heard it here first.

Nowhere else in popular culture were people talking about the apocalypse six weeks ago, eight weeks ago, like we were. Everybody jumped on the bandwagon. You know, but I just talked about it on my show this week, so it will be on next week, so it will be very old. People will be very annoyed listening to my show next week because we do a lot of rapture type stuff. But I remember seeing the billboards for months, but not really hearing anything about it until it's because you like a week or two i know i'm a

dickhole um um but yeah but i can see how you would see those billboards and not think oh they don't literally mean the world's gonna end like this is just some yeah well i just thought i didn't i didn't think it was any i didn't realize it was such a global like it had such a yeah maybe this is one guy right i was able to put up one billboard. No, I actually went to Brazil a couple weeks ago, and they had the same billboard in Portuguese. Oh, wow. So yeah, totally global. Portuguesh.

I'm from the South, and so it's not weird for me to see billboards that say the end of the world is coming. It'll be on this day. Buy a t-shirt. I mean, that's not weird for me to see billboards that say the end of the world is coming it'll be on this day buy a t-shirt i mean like that's not that's not weird for me to see that it's a little weird that they're selling black bart simpson t-shirts that's weird to me where he's saying cowabunga it's the end of the world man they're just selling rasta bart underachiever yeah um but i was and i discussed this i was on our friend Dominic Durkis' podcast Oh yes Love Dominic

Yes that should be out The anytime show That should be out In the internet Soon-ish And this came up But I thought it was worth Bringing up to you guys

Because I think it's a rich topic So this apocalypse came and went We're taping this show on the Sunday after it was supposed to happen. We're looking at 18 hours left behind. Right, yes. And right, yes. The three people have actually said it happened. It was only three of them. No, but so I was wondering, like, is there a pocket of these people who believed this was going to happen who had a big sex thing on the day before? Oh, I wonder. I mean, obviously, logic—

People who believed in the Bible but not in the teachings of the Bible. Right. And I'm just like, okay, well, they probably wouldn't. They probably—that would be distasteful, and, you know, you were about to meet Jesus, and you don't You don't want to have pussy juice on your dick. Right. Exactly. Is that what you're saying, Jordan? Or other things. Sure. But here's my other question. I didn't mean to be exclusionary. I've heard a phenomenon of religious folks

who think it is okay that your virginity is not lost if it's in the butt. Right. Oh, right. Do these two groups intersect, and was there a weird apocalypse butt orgy? Do you guys think that? Well, yeah. I wonder.

I don't know. Well, that's also a cultural thing, too. A lot of cultures will say that you're not a virgin if you have anal sex. And you're still a virgin. Right. Which is so crazy. Yeah, so what's... I'm sorry.

So we can talk about all of it. You're positive. So obviously these are two niches. I mean, you know, the pretty... This is a subject straight out of your secret sex party notebook that you gave me. Right. Which is ideas for that you gave me. Right. Which is ideas for different secret sex parties. Right.

And the new one that came up is, was there a, it's going to be the end of the world, let's stuff our butts. Well, wouldn't you know, if you knew the end of the world was coming in like a week, wouldn't you just be like, we're just going to drink and smoke and fuck as much as we can for the next week? Except that you want to be taken up i mean ultimately the issue is i don't know i mean it depends on what you define how you define that because i don't know that it's like by i have no sense of morals anyway i'd be like what's wrong with any of that as long as you're not being bad i mean the thing is what's so funny to me is like if you actually believe the Bible, it's clear throughout the entire thing that they say you will not know when God is coming again, when Jesus is coming back. You will not know that. And to claim that you know is to claim to have God's knowledge.

And that's the biggest sin of all. So it's like just by saying I know something that no one else knows just instantly says, well, if you actually follow the Bible, that's a sin. Well, what I like about what I liked about the whole phenomenon. And there was a lot to love. It was a pretty love. They were pretty lovable bunch. I think the thing that I like the most was that this guy was essentially dissatisfied with the level of geekiness available to him by the bible and so he decided that he was going to through brute force transform it into a math problem yes

exactly exactly and like and the fact that he figured it out like it was a code yeah like it was like on my show i had liz feldman if you guys i don't know if you know her she was on my show last week And she I worked I was a PA for Ellen When she wrote for me Oh really So I've gotten her

Many a latte Oh that's wonderful I had to get her a latte too She's very demanding Yeah But she was saying You know she was talking about She was saying

You know this is not Goonies Like it's not a math problem Like you were saying It's not like you put The triangular shaped piece In the wall And then it boom Rapture Yeah It's like Thatonies. Like, it's not a math problem. Like you were saying, it's not like you put the triangular shaped piece in the wall and then boom, rapture. Yeah. It's like that's such a crazy notion.

And I was reading the kind of the breakdown of it. And there's this thing where it's like you add up all these numbers. Like Noah did this. This guy did this. And then times it all by five. And the reasoning for timesing it all by five is the number five is in the Bible a lot. I know. Like, really?

I don't know. Anyway. Yeah, and probably a lot of other numbers are in there a lot. I know. I mean, I guess it... I would probably let that guy put it in the butt. Like if you're a comely female parishioner? Yeah, sure.

Just whatever. Do you think this guy just did this because he wanted to put it in a lot of butts? I mean, it's hard for me to see into someone else's mind, but when I look in his mind, I see a lot of buttholes. Boners and buttholes. That's what I see. Well, you know. And how old is he?

He's like 89 or something. Clearly, it's like he was ready to go. I'm like, eh, it's just I see. Yeah. Well, you know. And how old is he? He's like 89 or something. Yeah, I mean. It's like, clearly, it's like he was ready to go. I'm like, eh, it's just this day. What is his statement then? I haven't heard from him since then. Well, he predicted it once before in like the late 80s. In 1994. And it was local news in the Bay Area at the time.

Yeah, no, I did some Googling today, and it was like he's suspiciously absent, and his home is abandoned, and the radio station that was broadcasting this is just playing like a tape. They're just playing a tape, and they're all boarded up, too. So I think they got out of Dodge when the comet didn't come. Where do you think they're headed to? I don't know. But people have quit their jobs and put all this money... I mean, people have done major life things.

And it's like, they're going to come after these people. It's like, they're not going to be happy. I would probably go to Jamaica. Yeah. That's a good place to go. Yeah, mom. That's if you're a weird apocalypse fugitive. I love the islands.

I love the Caribbean. I love all that. But I have heard horrible things about Jamaica. I've heard horrible things about it. Have you been? I have never been before. No? I mean, there's definitely a culture of metaphorically and literally lighting homosexuals on fire.

Oh, absolutely. So there's that to deal with. Oh, they're horrible. I mean, I have friends, a female couple that were there that were getting harassed, which is really bizarre. I think you see women, two women together and having people harass them. I mean,

that's, that's like a lot, you know, more. On the other hand, you got some beautiful beaches. Oh, well,

exactly. Nevermind. What am I saying? The daiquiris. Oh, and the great reggae tunes. Sure. I mean,

there's a senior frogs on every block, right? Steel drums everywhere. Oh, playing the same songgae tunes. Sure. There's a Senior Frogs on every block. Right. Steel drums everywhere. All playing the same song. Great. No woman, no cry. Right? What does that mean, by the way?

No woman, no cry? What does any Bob Marley thing mean? I don't know. I'm not a fan of reggae at all. I mean, if I'm in the islands and I'm drunk on pina coladas and it's, you know, yeah, turtle drums are playing and I can enjoy it. I know. You know, and it all and it you know yeah turtle drums are playing and i can enjoy it i know you know and it all and i know this is wrong i know i know my feeling on it is wrong and i know this

is just probably probably having a lot to do with where i grew up it all just sounds like sublime to me i really like like think of the greatest reggae genius whether that's bob marley or toots in the may towels or whatever it all just fucking sounds like Sublime to me. And I just associate it with – What a horrible curse to have to live your life with. Yeah, no. And I just see like, oh, whoever is making this is a bald white guy with a dragon tattoo and a raised truck. Like that's reggae music to me. And I know it's not and I know there's some beautiful spirituality behind it somewhere.

Bah, bah, bah. Rich cultural tradition. I don't know. I know. I really don't care about it at all because there's so much hate and violence in it, the culture, too. And I should be a bigger person and support it

and be like, oh, this is great. But I don't feel like there's nearly that sort of thing when you go to different islands, bless you, the Caribbean or the other places. It just feels much more. What beautiful tropical island was I at recently? I went to the Cayman Islands once. It was very nice. I didn't feel like anyone was

going to be lit on fire. I never once thought that. That's funny because I've lit a few people on fire. Not specifically homosexuals. I mean, I just wanted to see a man burn. Right, sure. You didn't care. And it was not in the islands. It was actually in the

Middle West. Oh, that's like Illinois? It was in Des Moines. Oh, that's a nice place. I mean, it gets chilly there. Are you confessing to something right now? Or is it just, do other people know about this? I think I'm out of the jurisdiction or whatever. I don't I mean, is it even a crime?

Well, am I now an accompl i now do i even need to describe to you how lovely the modeling effect of the the modeled effect of the lighting was yeah i mean it was really beautiful was it dappled was the light dappled absolutely the dappling i actually was set on fire in a um i had to be i was in a 900-seat outdoor theater. I was in a Booju Bantog video. No, and I had to be set on... I was in an outdoor summer stock theater, a very culturally, racially insensitive, three-hour-long show in which all white people

that were dressed up... It was the stage version of Song of the South. Pretty much, pretty much. It was called The Legend of Ginny Wiley, and it was in Kentucky. And I had to be a white man that the Indians set on fire every night. And there was a wall of real fire that would shoot up right in front of me. It was terrifying.

This seems insane for like a community theater, right? Summerstock? Well, it was the Summerstock. And it was not a non-equity, non-union thing. And it was 900 people there. And it was like a three-hour show. And-union thing. And it was 900 people there. And it was like a three-hour show. And I had to get tortured. I was tied up, literally tied up with ropes.

And I was dangling in front. And it was late at night. So by the time that this part happened in the show, it was all dark. And so this fire would just shoot up in front of me. And I had to scream and burn. And it looked, from the audience, it looked like I was getting burned. Because the fire was just right in front of me. And then the lights would go out and I'd be gone i'd be taken off i'd be i am always shocked that uh people go that regional theater continues to exist

and that people go to it in the age of electronic media i mean Here's the thing. I have seen live theater that has moved me tremendously. And I agree that there is live theater that can be an experience that can't be reproduced anywhere else. I think that is true. However, that is not almost any of the live theater that's going on in America right now. Well, yes. No, absolutely. But I think that there's a human need. It's a basic need to see.

I think that it's something that I don't think digital media will ever be able to completely replace that. It's like the movies can't replace theater. It's like they're a different medium. Here's the thing. There's something about having a live. I grew up in San Francisco. And San Francisco is not a half bad theater town. It's not Chicago or New York,

but it's in the second tier with your Los Angeles, essentially. Sure, sure. And certainly the big professional theater in San Francisco, the American Conservatory Theater, ACT. There are certainly high quality theatrical productions, but it's still a show made up of mostly people that are trying to get bit parts on Nash Bridges. Really? Because what amazes me about theater, it's like theater in la is a is a very strange creature because a lot of people in la are and myself included you know working in

you know wanting to work in i should say wanting to in film tv internet media you know in that and trying to build a career and what i always like when i when i have gone to other places i feel like you you know, Chicago or even, I don't know. I mean, I've been to ACT. Where people can actually have a career in theater.

I've been to ACT. I've seen a show there and it was, it was great. But I think, yeah, but it's like people that love it for the sake of doing theater, you know? And it's like,

I'm always amazed at that. It's like, you love the art of doing this. But that's the thing. That's the thing that I don't like. I don't like the people who, who love the art of theater so much that they much that that becomes the important part of the equation. Here's how I think.

Here's the need that I think it fills in society. It's important that theater exists so parents have something to take their kids to to teach them a lesson about sitting still. There's this thing. That's why the Nutcracker exists. There's this thing in the Bay Area that I went to once with my wife. Now, my wife grew up in Marin County, which is just north of San Francisco.

And up there, I want to say in San Rafael, somebody's going to get all pissy and correct me on this, but I want to say in San Rafael, somewhere up there in the north counties, there's this annual thing that is sort of like a summer stock play. There isn't real summer stock in Northern California, but it's the closest equivalent, which is this thing called the Mountain Play.

Okay, sure. I've heard of this. Annually, there is this big production of usually a traditional musical. I think it was Guys and Dolls when I saw it or something like that. And it is a huge thing. This is literally 30 minutes from San Francisco. And, you know, San Francisco gets the big touring Broadway shows. And this is 30 minutes away, and it stars, you know, the most talented high school students locally and a couple of theater teachers.

And maybe the leads are portrayed by actors from San Francisco that would otherwise be, you know, second or in a in a professional theater production in san francisco um but there are literally 500 people there and uh you know 10 shows right or 20 shows like it's a huge thing there and you're like oh are you going to see the mountain play this year oh i bought a ticket for the mountain play this year sure blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and that is like worse than torture to me. Oh, I'm sure. The thing is,

it's like, you know, people, and I think that they, there's something about seeing somebody live in front of that, that experience that they want to see somebody that they may be no, or that they, that's why I think community theater,

it's like that, you know, you see the, you know, I grew up doing community theater and a lot of it, I go, when I've gone back, I'm like, Oh my God, I can't believe I did this and thought that this was good. But then there were randomly like the plumber that was like really great and would do the shows.

And there was something about that sort of hometown experience, that sort of flavor. I still go back, but I am also a glutton for punishment. I go back in South Carolina. My parents always take me to this dinner theater called Cafe and Then Some. Oh, okay. And they do – they, like, change the words to songs. It's like, they say the neon lights are bright in Greenville. And everybody, like, laughs a little bit. And it's completely – it's waiting for Guffman.

I mean, it's completely that. But I go, and it's like they serve you dinner. All the cast serves dessert at intermission. And it's stuff – it's waiting for Guffman. I mean it's completely that. But I go and it's like they serve you dinner. All the cast serves dessert at intermission. And it's stuff that you – exactly. It's not – but I don't know what it is. I love it. I think it's just from where I come from. I mean it is not good.

I would never argue like – but it is so – there's such an earnest – there's such an honesty there. And there's nothing jaded. There's nothing like I'm trying to get on – like you were saying Nash Brid an earn it. There's such a, um, and like an honesty there and there's nothing jaded. There's nothing like I'm trying to get on, you know, like you were saying Nash Bridges about it. It's like, we love it. We are on stage. We are performing our hearts out. We're going to, you know, break the fourth wall.

If you even want to call it that. To bring you pudding. To bring, exactly. And I love it. I don't know why. I just, I think it's, and I think it's a basic, it goes back to like cavemen. It's like, we've had this need to like entertain and storytelling. I feel like it's something that will always be around.

And I feel like the, you know, as great as movies and internet and, you know, digital meaning can never get, it'll never replace that feeling of like community. Yeah. And I think. And a bird is chirping outside. Yeah. Right. How appropriate. Yeah. feeling of like community yeah and i think a bird is chirping outside yeah right how appropriate

um yeah i think you know like you said the reason like you in san francisco you do get the touring productions of you know whatever the the rent or a wicked or something like that and the reason people go to the mountain play is because oh that's our thing like no one else has this you know it's right it's not going to be in seattle next week i seriously and i say this is someone who you know i went to i went to theater school for four years and did four hours a day of theater and you know i didn't want people i knew to come to my shows because i knew that they weren't that good like it's not that they were it's not like i did i enjoyed being in them yeah don't Don't get me wrong. Right, right, right, right. I enjoy performing, or I wouldn't have gone into show business. Sure, right.

But I was a little bit embarrassed of what I was doing even then. And that was a very, I mean, considering the ages that we were, I think we were probably doing exceptionally good work. You know, like a lot of the people that I was in those shows with are professional actors, full-time professional actors now. But it's embarrassing. And it's not even just about local podunk things. To me, if I am in New York and I see a play that's anything less than an A, I am like, why are these people yelling at me?

I think something you have to remember is that most of the people who go to see theater because it's so, because it's hard to see, it's probably expensive. It's probably more expensive, even more expensive than a movie at this point. Like,

like the people who are there want to be there and they're probably predisposed to love it. Like, I feel like, you know, we, uh, we,

you know, we, we've all done things at that hipster comedy theaters, the UCB, the IO, stuff like that. And I think we're used to that situation. We're like, oh, these people are probably a little judgy. Sure, sure.

Because, you know, it's five bucks, and they're probably like, nah, really? But I think when you are in the community theater mountain play situations, this costs 35 bucks, and the kids all had to tuck their shirts in and god damn it we're gonna enjoy i also hate shakespeare i want to throw that out there no i i i've just it's it's taken me many years to finally to realize that it's not my favorite thing either and people there's so many actors that you know it's i don't care i never want to be in another shakespeare play for the rest of my life i do not care you know what know what? Like there are even, you know, like, oh sure. Like I guess there, there are some genuinely funny parts of But You Do About Nothing and

some genuinely beautiful things in Hamlet or King Lear. But just overall, what an unpleasant thing to subject yourself to. I know. I know. I am just like, well, I realized too that my, my taste is so much more trashy. I mean, it's like, I look at titles of plays that I've been in out here. I'm just like – well, I realize too that my taste is so much more trashy. I mean it's like I look at titles of plays that I've been in out here and I'm like – it's like I studied and I did Shakespeare and I did Moliere and I did David Mamet and I did all these things when I was in college. And then out here I'm like, no, I'm going to do Debbie Does Dallas the musical when I'm out here. Wait.

Is that an actual thing you did? Yes. Yes, I did. I did. Does it follow the plot of Debbie Does Dallas? It does. It does. Wait. Two questions. I did Does it follow the plot of Debbie Does Dallas? It does Wait, two questions A. Does it follow the plot of Debbie Does Dallas?

And B. What is the plot of Debbie Does Dallas? Okay, yes it does And in the play, Debbie is She works at a sporting goods store Okay And she has to If I can remember this correctly As a vibrator saleswoman

No, she gets accepted into being a Dallas cowgirl Dallas cowgirl or whatever they're called but she doesn't have enough money to get to Dallas she needs a bus ticket or something and she's a virgin

and so she ends up the whole thing is all these other people in the movie having sex until Debbie has sex with the owner of the sporting goods store at the end of the movie. So there is sex in the whole way and she just basically – Wait, who else is having sex? Oh, all of her friends. OK. Just around –

I don't know. Frenchie and Rizzo or whatever they're named. OK. So Frenchie and Rizzo. And so does this action happen offstage? No, the musical is really, really tame. And it's almost like when they take Little Shop of Horrors and make a musical. It's really fun music.

It's actually making fun of cheerleading more than anything. But I played a bunch of different characters in it. But there's sex on stage, but it's so silly and not obviously real sex. And it's – but yeah, that's what I would choose to do. I'm like, yeah, I want to be in Debbie Does Dallas Musical. It was at the Key Club, like rock and roll club downtown. It was – I mean in West Hollywood. Jordan, could you enjoy going to a Shakespeare play? Oh, too – I mean just length.

I mean it's just a length issue for me. I would love to see Mark Rylance at the Globe do, like, incredible I'd love to watch the best of the best. Like you're saying, an A Shakespeare? Sure. I mean, I'd watch Ian McKellen do King Lear. I'd watch that in a heartbeat. If that delightful Michael Sheen was involved. Even that would be kind of boring, though.

I would watch that just for that experience. But I can't imagine. The thing that I you know, a lot of the Shakespeare I've seen has been at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival in Ashland, Oregon. Sure. Which is, you know. Which is great. They have a great reputation.

It's probably the best reputation for a Shakespeare festival in the United States. Yeah, absolutely. And the best that you can hope for is tolerable. But even that only applies to the first half. tolerable but even that only applies to the first half and the thing that happens in a shakespeare play that i know this is just all cranky jesse show but the thing that happens in a shakespeare play is when they say a joke that is completely predicated on knowing like a an elizabethan like that in elizabethan times they called frogs squabs. And so when they say something, they say squab,

they're referring to French people. Right, right, right, right. And somebody's just going... Gross. I just want to fucking grab their balls. But that's that person. That's that asshole. I feel like a lot of times, too, it's like...

But you don't feel like that's almost everyone at every play you've ever been to oh yeah but i don't yeah but those those are people that except maybe if you go to a broadway play and then it's just like uh but i get that way too like i was so it's like i i um i'm one of the only people i feel like i hated that movie little miss sunshine and i saw it on opening night at the art, like at the arc light, that's what it's called. And it was sold out. And the amount of people that were just laughing around me and just laughing at this stuff. And I found that movie was really mean and a hateful and a really stupid and unbelievable. And I just thought the whole thing and I, and, and, but I was even more annoyed because

I was watching it within a room full of people that were loving it. My mom, my mom cried in Juno and I was a little mad at her. Yeah people that were loving it. And that made me hate it even more. My mom cried in Juno and I was a little mad at her. Yeah, see? I'm like, really, mom? Really? I love you and everything. Right, exactly.

But this is bullshit. You're not, wow, how can you, you know? And it's like, so sometimes it's not even that movie's fault so much or the play's fault as much as it's the, I think, the people around you. They go, no, you don't. Because especially look at a Shakespeare thing. They're thinking, they're laughing because they want everyone to know that they get it i do i do know that i got i did get really upset at which parts people around me were laughing at

when i went to see extract in the movie theater oh really oh huh yeah well i would i would be laughing at something and then realize that no one else was laughing and i'd be like hey how about this fuck you guys, maybe they were mad at you. I know. Maybe they were like, I want to grab that guy's balls. They probably were. I actually, I liked that movie a lot. I liked Extract a lot. I really liked Extract. And I loved, what was his

other movie that nobody saw that Dax Shepard and Maya Rudolph were in? Idiocracy. Idiocracy. Yeah, Idiocracy was funny. It's like, I think Mike Judge, I don't know why he's not more accepted and like why his movies don't do well. I didn't love Idiocracy. I would say that I enjoyed Idiocracy. Idiocracy made me feel really depressed in a way that I give it a lot of credit because I left there going, man, we're not that far off from that.

I remember being exhausted after watching it. It was like you ate a bunch of junk food and you're watching a movie. I remember being excited that Scarface from the Ghetto Boys was in it. I was like, hey, there's Scarface from the Ghetto Boys. Who is that? He's a great rapper.

Oh. But I loved Extract. Occasionally, there'll be something like that. But you know what my new strategy is? I'm only going to stupid movies and I'm only going at the Mexican Babies movie theater. And as long as I'm paying $4 to see Thor or Fast and Furious, you know, Too Fast, Too Furious 4 or whatever it was called, then it's great. I like the idea that there's a separate timeline for Too Fast, Too Furious. Like, no, no, Fast and Furious, that's another universe. But Too Fast, Too Furious, that's great. I like the idea that there's a separate timeline for Too Fast, Too Furious. No, no. The Fast and Furious, that's another universe.

Too Fast, Too Furious, that's another realm. I know it's called Fast Five. Fast Five. Fast Five. It was very enjoyable. I enjoyed it a lot. The first one was called The Fast and the Furious. And then the fourth one was just called Fast and Furious. It was like fast. Yes. Yes. It was so

stupid because it was like The Fast and the Furious. Okay, let me get this right. True. I mean, I don't mean to be. The Fast and and Furious? It was like fast. Yes, yes. It was like so stupid because it was like the Fast and the Furious. Okay, let me get this right. Drew, I mean, I don't mean to be. Fast and the Furious and then Too Fast, Too Furious. Then the Fast and the Furious 3,

Tokyo Drift, right? No three. Then, okay, no three. Then the next one was just called Fast and Furious. Sure. And then Fast Five. You got it.

Drew, I don't mean to burst your bubble. Really, saying it out loud, does that sound dumb to you? No you No no that all makes perfect sense It was the Final Destination movies did the same thing Like the fourth one was just called The Final Destination or something And I was like why wouldn't you just

I auditioned for the fifth one Did you And I don't know if they're still retaining this title But when I auditioned for it it was called The Five Null Destination Number five now destination Stupid still retaining this title, but when I auditioned for it, it was called The Five Null Destination. Number five now destination. Stupid.

Well, I want to take this opportunity to apologize to all of the local theater actors who almost certainly compose upwards of 70% of our audience. You guys are doing great. I love you all. Keep doing it. Fight the good fight. Comb your wig. We'll be back in just a second

On Jordan, Jesse, go It's Jordan, Jesse, go I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart Jordan Morris, boy detective And I'm Drew Droege, flagship cupcake Oh, it's great to have Drew Droege here He, of course, is from the Glitter in the Garbage podcast. Enjoyable podcast of

the entertaining comedy variety. Sure. Thank you. It's kind of an improvised sketch show. You're going to get some of the people you usually hear on the Earwolf podcast, but then kind of some other people from some L.A. comedy spheres you don't usually hear on podcasts. Yeah. It's been

fun. I want to have you guys on there. Oh, we're excited. I'm going to send you a message. Yeah, we'll do it. We've never turned down an invitation. Have you ever turned down an invitation, Jordan? You know, there's one, but then I figured out kind of late in the game it was a snuff film. Oh, that's really bad.

Sure, so it was actually a good call. That's a really good call. I mean, think of the exposure we could have gotten. I've done too many snuff films because I didn't figure it out until they'd already finished shooting. And then I would go shake the guy and I'd be like, I think he's really dead. I think he's really dead. Yeah. Well, I might kill you on my show.

I mean, you know, fair enough. We'll talk about it. Let me know. Okay, before we agree, let me know how many downloads per week you get. Okay. And then if it's enough, I will let you murder me on it. All right, if it's worth it. So we have had an explosion in the number of people who want to share their messages on our program lately.

But we have a new style that I am really excited about this week. Yeah, this is going to be fun. Drew, for your edification, anyone who doesn't listen to the program regularly, we have sort of a Jumbotron-style service where for $100 for a personal message or $200 for a commercial message, we will share your message briefly on JordanJesseGo. Oh, wow. Cool. This is an all-time first for us. A listener named Dan Wheeler has asked us to perform for him a personals ad. Okay. Great.

Dan Wheeler is looking for love, and he would like us to share that with our audience, and specifically the lady part of our audience. So, here's some information about Dan Wheeler. Okay. We can discuss this as necessary. Here's some information about Dan Wheeler. Okay. We can discuss this as necessary. Number one, he's a big Jordan Jesse Goh listener, and he really believes that, as we have often said on Jordan Jesse Goh,

we believe that Jordan Jesse Goh should be a catalyst for love and romance. Right. Sure. If someone has not listened or dislikes the show, you should probably not deal with them. Not date them, yeah. Dan is a freelance graphic designer.

That's probably a good sign. Artsy, but practical. He loves going to garage and estate sales. Maybe I should ask him out. I was going to say, I'm falling in love with Dan Wheeler. I need an estate sale buddy.

He's based in Portland, Oregon. All right. So he's probably got some tight pants on. He's always into checking out a new restaurant. He's a big fan of the food scene in Portland. Oh, yeah. The best. He's tall.

He's six foot four. And he occasionally makes comic strips at HeyDanWheeler.com. Oh. He sounds like a... Is there any dick info? Let me see. Jordan really wants to know about his dick. I don't know, but it's a personal ad, right?

I mean, so... Hey, look at this. He has... He's included a photograph of himself. Oh, okay. I'm going to guesstimate his age. I'm going to guesstimate his age at I'm going to guesstimate his age at 32. I could be wrong.

He could be 28. He could be 34. I can't really see his picture from all the way over here, but I'm getting a vibe. Yeah. Look at that. He's got dreamer's eyes. Yeah, he's not a bad looking fella. He's a good looking guy.

And he's also pandered to us by putting a signed 8x10 of Jordan Morris over his left shoulder. And what appears to be a copy of our friend Judge John Hodgman's book, The Areas of My Expertise, over his right shoulder. Oh, I'm sure he just casually took that picture. Sure. Those things happened to be in frame. Jordan, did you send him a picture? That was part of our pledge drive this year. People donated to the show, and if they requested it, they got a signed 8x10.

Oh, that's so awesome. And Dan actually says, if you want to see... What's he holding there? Is he holding a carnation? He says it looks like a pipe. It's actually a novelty aftershave decanter that's shaped like a pipe. Wow, he lives in Portland. Yeah, he sure does. If there was any doubt before, the novelty shaving decanter. But his target audience also lives in Portland. Yeah, he sure does. If there was any doubt before, the novelty shaving teacher.

But his target audience also lives in Portland. Yeah. Yeah, no, no. I mean, whatever lady probably has one herself. Yeah. So we're going to post this. And I'm just going to throw this out there. Probably Knits Scarves.

Yeah. I don't know. Just a crazy guess. Almost certainly. Works at the community library. So we have on the Bookmobile. How about that? That's good.

Okay, I changed it to Bookmobile. We are going to post this picture. We're going to post this picture in the discussion thread for this week's episode of Jordan Jesse Go. And you can also see video footage of him. Apparently he was one of the cues in an episode of Put This On in a cue and answer. My men's style program Put This On. So you can watch episode one of Put This On and see him

asking a question. Come on, ladies, do it. Hey guys, you're in Portland. Go for a slow burger. Yeah, absolutely. What's that? That's this famous burger in Portland that really lives up to the hype. They also have topless coffee bars there, right?

They have like a... Oh, I don't know. He was just telling me in Portland they have... I bet they do. It's a topless coffee house. So that may not be a good place for the first date. Yeah. Right.

But come on, ladies. But, you know... Go for it. That's where Dan works when he's not doing graphic design. Right. But come on, ladies. But, you know. Go for it. That's where Dan works when he's not doing graphic design. Sure. You should get a load of the rack on this fellow. Wait until you see the picture. Scalded nipples, though.

Yeah. I mean, probably his nipples have been scalded clean off. Oh, sure. Anyway, if you want to get in touch with Dan Wheeler, and I sure hope that you will. I feel like if we can't make this happen for him, I'm going to be pretty disappointed. Me too. Dan, I want an invite to the wedding. Yes, we should all be there. I have to say

that when Teresa told me what was going to go down, I was worried that it would not be a handsome man. But this guy is a pretty good looking guy. He's a good looking fella. He seems to have his shit together too. His email address, a special email address just for this purpose, so you can send him a, you know, drop him a line

and see if you guys click on email and check your eHarmony profiles and so forth. No spam. God wants you to be together. Sure. Is that what eHarmony does? Yeah, it does. It's God's dating site. HeyDanWheeler at gmail.com.

Hey, H-E-Y, Dan, D-A-N, Wheeler, W-H-E-E-L-E-eler at gmail.com. Hey, H-E-Y, Dan, D-A-N, Wheeler, W-H-E-E-L-E-R at gmail.com. If you want to have a message on an upcoming episode of Jordan, Jesse, Go, whether it's a promotion for your business, a happy birthday wish for someone, or you're just looking to get your dick wet.

Personal advertisement like this one. Just email us at Teresa at MaximumFun.org. That's our email. That's our development director, Teresa Thorne, my beautiful wife. Teresa at MaximumFun.org. And also, on our forum, in the show's forum, there is now a sticky top of the line. What's that called?

A what? A post-it note? A thread. There's a thread in the forum. I think that's just on your computer. I think you just put a Post-it on your computer. There's a thread in the forum that lists all of our sponsors on all the shows. So whether it's on Stop Podcasting Yourself or My Brother, My Brother and Me or Jordan

Jesse Go, if there's one of these and you need a link and you're going to click through, if you forget what it is or whatever, you just know that it's right there at the top of the show's forum at forum.maximumfund.org. We'll talk to you more in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Drew Droege, cupcake sergeant.

I switched it up. I switched it. Cupcake sergeant? That's fine. What about just cupcake? I'm just... I'm just cupcake. What about just sarge?

I like it. Sarge cake. Sarge. No, that's weird. Wasn't there a sitcom where there was just a character named Sarge?? I like it. Sarge cake. Sarge. No, that's weird. Wasn't there a sitcom where there was just a character named Sarge? It sounds like it. You might be thinking of Coach from Cheers. Maybe that's what I'm thinking of.

Can I say something about Coach from Cheers? Yes. Please do. I have been watching a lot of Cheers lately. It's an amazing show. Because it's on Netflix Instant now. Oh, I didn't know that. You can watch the whole run.

And number one cheers is fucking hilarious it's hilarious it's wonderful brilliantly made just every person in it is so good so good everyone is so good in cheers and it's just and they have the like every episode starts with like a uh like a silly. Oh, right. They're always funny to me every time because they're like so well crafted and just great. And just every actor on it is so good. But the thing that I hadn't thought about in a long time about Cheers, and I was hoping that it would be like that because I hadn't watched Cheers and I used to watch Cheers with my dad.

Oh, right. So I have a lot of warm feelings about Cheers because I remember sitting in our apartment in San Francisco watching it on. We literally had like a 9 or 10-inch black and white TV, like yay big, I'm indicating. And you had to use a wrench to change the channels. And we used to watch Cheers every day. And I have a lot of warm feelings toward it but i hadn't watched it in 15 years and it's fucking hilarious yeah and the other thing that's uh that i hadn't thought about in a while about it is that uh coach the character of coach is maybe my

favorite sitcom character of all time because it is just is such a wonderful and i'm so sorry that the the guy whose name escapes me who played it passed on four years into the show but um he i love that they dealt with it on the show too it was just like that was just they worked that into the storyline it was just like yep that's he passed away passed away and like they all there was such love on that show like every character was so so much warmth yeah yeah and so lived in every character i just love like honestly like woody harrelson is wonderful as well i don't mean to slight him but um to me dumb guy like sweet dumb guy is that is the funniest thing in the world to me like i will

laugh at the smothers brothers for like hours on end just because i love anything where where one guy is just doesn't he can't figure out what's going on because he's too dumb but you still like him it's not like a joke right right at his expense and uh coach is like the perfect expression it takes a really smart actor to be able to do that too to play dumb in that way because you know like that's such a it can be it can be such a mess it can be so annoying if someone's just unlikable and dumb and or just so stupid that you just don't believe it yeah you know here's what i have to say if you have if you've never if you've never spent some time with

cheers if you just think of cheers as just being the same as Coach or whatever, it's not even anything against Coach. But if you just think of it as being a show... Coach from Cheers. Not Craig T. Nelson. Sure. If you think of Craig T. Nelson, Coach, and Cheers as being roughly equivalent in that

they're shows that are on high-numbered, over-the-air television channels a lot. Spend some time with Cheers. It's going to really reward you. So you're saying Cheers is more of a major dad. If you were to compare it to another show, it would be major dad. Sure.

Exactly. Or Delta. Yep. Delta. She was on the road, and she's blonde. We've got some calls this week. These parental revelations just keep flowing in. And Brian Fernandez, who's screening our calls, just keeps sending them along because they're so, I don't know what you would say, majestic?

Yeah. Wow. Soaring. We got into this a couple weeks ago, Drew, when I started talking about how my parents would often reveal something crazy about their past that I had no idea of. Oh, wow. would often reveal something crazy about their past that I had no idea of. Oh, wow. And so we asked for what the craziest thing people in our audience had ever had revealed to them by their parents.

And we have another bumper crop. Mm-hmm. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, go. This is Josh in Los Angeles. Calling about the wacky stories about your parents' past. When I was in college and I was pledging a fraternity, I remember being super freaked out about the initiation because I knew it was coming up, and my dad was like,

my dad told me, oh, yeah, when I was in college, I remember joining a fraternity. They took us out into the woods, and once we got there, I found out that the fraternity I was pledging for was actually a front for the KKK. So I think legally and on paper, my dad is a member of the KKK, and that is why he couldn't run for district attorney when he was eligible to. That's not what he told me at the time, but I connected the dots. So I hope this story is not too late. Have a good show.

Bye. Wow. Okay. That's horrible. How do you not... I'm guessing there were signs that this was the KKK instead of a frat. There's so many missing pieces, right? Like, I just thought they

had a lot of Viking-themed mixers. Yeah. No, these are white supremacists. But what I don't understand is, like, you just signed up for this fraternity. You didn't know? It was a mock fraternity. It wasn't even a real fraternity Is there just a KKK organization on college? No

I don't know No, no, no, no, no Now, you have to understand That Jordan and I went to UC Santa Cruz Where there was one fraternity And it was created for that MTV show I Pledged a Fraternity Right, yeah

Because they, I guess, couldn't do anything with actual fraternities. No, I went to Wake Forest in North Carolina. We were full of fraternities, and East Coast is full of fraternities. And, I mean, there's so many things. Like, first of all, you have to know the history of the, you, when you pledge, like, you know, there's longstanding fraternities on campus. It's not like you can go to, like, Pi Kappa Alpha or, you know, or Kappa Sig or whatever. I kind of feel like when he decided to pledge Kappa Kappa Kappa, he should have known that something was up.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, you can't just – I can't imagine that if you were, you know, if you were just going to a regular, like, Theta Chi or something, and all of a sudden it's like, it's not actually Theta Chi. We've never been Theta Chi. We've actually been the Ku Klux Klan that's crazy to me yeah but if that did happen how horrible that this kid at 18 or whatever didn't know and signed up and there's no clarification here as to whether it it seems like he just went ahead with it right because you you would think that he could you could get it expunged or something off your record. It seems strange that you – Yeah, just like French-a-Jew in front of everybody.

Yeah, exactly. Like really – French-a-Jew. It should have been a tip-off that their first meeting of the year is called the No Race Mixer. But I also – I mean growing up in the South, like the KKK was like even in the, well, I guess this is this guy's dad, so he would be older than me. But still, it's like, it was sort of a, it was a very secretive, quiet, shameful organization at this point. I mean, like, they're still very proud when they get together, I'm sure. But you didn't know anybody that was outwardly a member of the KKK.

But I mean, he could be, I mean, my dad, I mean, I'm 30 years old, and my dad went to college. He started college around 1960. Oh, okay. So that's not, you know, like this guy could be 30 years old. His dad could have started college in 1960, and it could have been. That's what I'm saying. It could be a totally different time. I thought it stated for kegger, kegger, kegger.

Okay, let's listen to another call here. Hi, Jordan, Jesse Go. This is Tough Pack calling from somewhere on the East Coast. Say, I was following your action item about revelations from our parents, and I thought you might want to hear this one. Once, when I was in high school, it was late 80s, I was sitting after dinner, reading a book, listening to my Walkman. And my parents were still at the dinner table having a glass of wine, having a conversation.

My Walkman was loud enough that they were talking and I wasn't listening. And the batteries ran down in my Walkman. And it went slow and then silent. And I caught from the middle of the conversation what my parents were talking about. My dad was telling my mom, from what I can gather, a story about him when he was younger, in the kind of probably late 50s, early 60s, when he was in medical school. And the story was about how he had been romancing a nurse with whom he worked at a hospital. And he had brought her her after a night out,

had brought her back to his place and things were getting kind of romantic. And to the point where I, he had put the condom on and he got a call and got called into the hospital on emergency. So, you know, I guess hustled her out of the place, whipped on his pants and hopped in his car, his old, like, late 40s Ford, and was racing to the hospital to take care of whatever this emergency was. And near enough to the hospital that it makes the story fun, he got T-boned at an intersection by another car. And his car went spinning around, and this other car went spinning around. And being a 1940s car, no seatbelt, other car went spinning around uh and being a

1940s car no seat belt he was just bouncing around the inside of the car and uh he ended up kind of half in half out of the car but conscious and so he pulled himself together and he walked over to check out the other car and make sure the guy in the other car was okay and apparently the other guy in the other guy in the other car was you know well enough to other guy in the car was well enough to not die on the spot or whatever. And my dad realized that he was going to pass out. And so he stood up and realized not only was he going to pass out, but he was in the neighborhood where the hospital they would bring him to was his hospital, the emergency room that he was supposed to be going to to take care of whatever the emergency he was called in on,

and that he was still wearing a condom. So he stumbled over to the curb, unzipped his pants, pulled it out, pulled the condom off, threw it into the curb, zipped up, and right as he was passing out, looked up, and sitting on the stoop of an apartment building right in front of him was maybe a 75- or 80-year-old lady, wide-eyed, watching the whole thing. Then he passed out. Thanks. Take care. Great show. Is part of being a doctor that you have perfect control of when you pass out after an automobile accident?

Yeah, right. I was going to say that was such precision of like, okay, I got to do this, got to do that, boom, boom, boom. And he really has a lot of self-possession for someone who still has a condom on his neck. And why did you not feel the condom while he was in the car? I mean, was it just that crazy? Like, would you not feel it on you? Yeah. I don't know.

Maybe that's why you see, I feel like just walking around casually, I see a lot of just out-of-the-wrapper condoms that don't look like they've been used. You think those are doctor comms? Yeah, those are T-bone doctor comms. Yeah, gotcha. I think that exact situation happens so frequently. Yeah, sure. Well, you know,

that's how it is. Hey, JJ Goh, this is Alex in Columbus, Ohio, calling with a disturbing grand parental revelation. My grandfather came to stay with us for a weekend when I was about 14, and I woke up in the middle of the night and heard the bathtub running. So I went out to check on him and see if everything was okay and knocked on the door and said, what are you doing in the bathtub at 4 o'clock in the morning?

And he said, I sleep here. Didn't anyone ever tell you that? No. That's magical. Wow. That's the kind of important shit you should know about your grandparents. Grandpa in the bathtub. When they come to stay at your house.

Wait, was this so Grandpa sleeps in his own bathtub? His own bathtub at home. I think there may be some, let's see if there's some explanation here. Turns out that in his younger days, he was a big drinker and a often thrower-upper. And that my grandmother got tired of him throwing up in the bedroom, so she used to put him to bed in the bathtub, and eventually he just came to prefer it. It's very comfortable, but you have to wake up a couple times

in the middle of the night to warm up the water. So there you go. So he went to bed with water? Like he would go in the bathtub? In a bed full of warm, in a bathtub full of water. So he was used to the warm water. So when he would vomit, would he just sleep in his own? Vomit?

Yeah, I mean, a solution of warm water and vomit. You know, some people go to therapy. Some people stop drinking. Other people just sleep in their own pew. It's sort of like a homeopathic thing. It's like one part vomit to a thousand parts water. Yeah. Makes it more powerful

it's so like that seems to me to be the most extreme form of enabling to the point where you're like well no i'll just get you a little bed in the bathtub instead of getting you help for your problem actually dealing with this issue wow okay we have we have one last one and brian fernandez tells me that this one is pretty insane so i haven't heard it yet i'm excited hey jordan jesse go um i'm just calling in response to sort of the solicitations for the listeners wacky parent stories you heard about later in life um i was sort of vaguely aware that my mom had lived kind of crazy life and still continues to do so. She's in her 50s now.

And only a few years ago, when tattooing was still illegal in Massachusetts where we live, she actually got a tattoo in the basement of her sketchy friend's house. Her friend was also a witch. That only happened a few years ago. witch. That only happened a few years ago. My mom, I guess, she, a couple of years ago, took in a runaway who had a daughter with this white supremacist guy. And that's the whole other story as well. But through the girl who she took in, I heard a lot of stories about my mom, because I never really got up the courage to ask her about these things, but she would tell this girl. So from this girl, I heard all sorts of crazy shit about my mom,

namely that when she was in her 20s, she ran away from home and started going out with the leader of the Mongols motorcycle gang, the Mongols being the Hispanic rivals of the Hells Angels. And apparently that was a big thing. And then also, I guess, just to fast forward a couple, maybe about 10 years, and when I was born and my mom used to work for the city hall, and she used to drive around in a gold limousine doing cocaine with her boss. And that is – that one I find sort of suspect, but then again, she did go out with the leader of the Mongols, and she didn't deny that. So, yeah, just a little food for thought.

Just a little food for thought, Jordan. I like that there was a point in America where someone who worked at City Hall would drive in a gold limousine and do cocaine. In a gold limousine and do cocaine. That's amazing. I would love it. Have you ever wanted to have, like, a role? I would love, have you ever wanted to have like a, have you ever wanted to have like a Rolls? There was this guy in my old neighborhood in San Francisco who had a green Rolls Royce from, I guess, the early 70s, mid 70s. Oh, yeah.

That had an orange interior. Oh, yeah. And it was so awesome. Like this guy, he was like maybe like a 55-year-old black guy. And just largely unremarkable. awesome like this guy he was like maybe like a 55 year old black guy um and just uh largely unremarkable i mean the kind of guy that you see like he's always wearing like a white track suit you know what i mean but he looked so awesome driving this it was money green it was like money green car if money green rolls royce it was probably a 15 000 car you know like uh

an old rolls royce isn't worth that much because most super rich people want a new Rolls Royce. Right, right. Wow, that's awesome, though. Yeah, it'd be nice to live in a place where you didn't have to commute so much, so you had the option of getting a joke car. Right, right. Now I feel like that option is not available to me.

No, no, no. But I think if you were only in the car two hours a week, you could just have a crazy joke car. Yeah. That'd be amazing. But that's not even just a joke car. That's like a... It was a genuinely...

He genuinely looked smooth in this car. Oh, sure. It wasn't like a novelty car at all. In fact, when I imagined myself driving it, it was not a laughable idea. It was like, that would be really sick. That would be cool. that would be cool that would be my car to go back to this guy's story though i don't really know what his what was he surprised about it seems like his mom he's always known his mom was this way up to crazy i mean i feel like if

she was dating the lead the leader of like a major gang and she got a tattoo from a witch in a basement of course of course she was doing cocaine and of doing cocaine and a in a basement. Of course she was doing cocaine. Doing cocaine in a cool car is something that I've done, and I've certainly never dated a, you know, I've never been marked by a witch, nor have I ridden with a thing. You did briefly date the head of the Satan's Little Helpers, the

motorcycle gang from Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. I did, but I thought they were just extras on a horror movie. I didn't think they were actually Satan's little brothers. But yeah, it seems like the kind of story we're looking for is like, oh, if she told you about the cocaine limousine at the church bake sale. But yeah, this seems like par for mom's course. At City Hall, certainly.

When she was working out at City Hall. Of course. There's a lot of pressure when you work for the government. You need to unwind. You've got to blow off some steam. We've got a couple of momentous occasions as well uh drew when something momentous happens to one of our listeners we ask that they call in immediately as it's happening or in the immediate aftermath at 206-9844-FUN to share that

momentous happening with us hi jordan hi jesse hi guest uh this is Zach from Boston, and I have a momentous occasion or moment of shame for probably someone else. I sell t-shirts outside of Fenway Park here in Boston, and I just saw a couple, and one of them was visually impaired, blind, impaired, blind, yelling at his girlfriend. And I didn't know blind people were mean. I'd never seen that before. And she slapped him until he fell to the ground. Oh, shit. What?

And I didn't know what to do. So, yeah. Okay. Bye. Shit went down. Yeah, it's weird because you don't want to see a blind person slapped. Of course not. Because they can't fight back.

They can't. Effectively. But if they're being a dick. Yeah, but just because you're blind doesn't mean you can't be a dick. I've heard that Marlee Matlin is a real cunt. Yeah, somebody needs to see a slapped person. I actually have. Really?

I've actually heard that. I can't quote that, but I've heard – and I support her in being that way. Sure. I want to add – I think it's great. Did you hear this from Snoop Doggy Dogg? I did. Mid-sprite handoff. He's like, thanks for the sprite.

Marlee Matlin's a cunt. Marlee Matlin's a cunt. No, but I mean I think that's great. But yeah, it does not discriminate. You want to play basketball with me and Jodeci? Jodeci. discriminate. You want to play basketball with me and Jodeci? Jodeci!

Hey, Jordan and Jesse. This is Eddie in Chicago, and I want to report a double momentous occasion. As I was leaving work, I am listening to your podcast. I watched a man come up to a stoplight with his windows up and play the trumpet, to which

I thought he put it away and continue driving. He did not. He played the trumpet driving all the way down the road. As I turn around and walk away in amazement, I see what looks like a gaudy jewelry wearing Southern Belle type lady stomping up and down next to what appeared to be homeless men doing her gardening. And looks exactly like what a movie rendition of a sleep plantation would be.

To make this even more exciting, the man playing the trumpet looked exactly like Michelle Foucault, and one of the homeless men gardening looked exactly like Walter Benjamin. I laughed for about half an hour, and then I called you guys. Alright, have a good one. Bye. and one of the homeless men gardening looked exactly like Walter Benjamin. I laughed for about half an hour and then I called you guys.

All right, have a good one. Bye. That was some serious fucking contemporary philosopher shit there. You're on some really good mushrooms. You dropped some. Yeah, right. I mean, that's crazy.

You saw a man playing a trumpet all the way down the road and then on a separate occasion a woman stomping on things. I like that he said like a movie rendition of a slave plantation. Like what movie are you talking about? and then, on a separate occasion, a woman stomping on things. I like that he said, like, a movie rendition of a slave plantation. Like, what movie are you talking about?

This sounds like a weird movie. You know, like those old bedazzled slave stomping. You know, those movies. No, those. That old tired genre. I'm just impressed. I am genuinely impressed that he knows what Walter Benjamin

and Michel Foucault look like. Like, I can understand being familiar with their works of philosophy that are central to, of course, any culture studies curriculum. But to know what they look like to the extent that you could identify one of them walking down the street in homeless guy form. Yeah. Or car trumpet player form. I only laugh because I vaguely know the names. I would have no idea what they look like or what they stood for. Yeah, right. Yeah. Or car trumpet player form. I only laugh because I vaguely know the names. I would have no idea what they look like or what they stood for.

Yeah, right. I don't know anything. Is playing the trumpet in the car against their core philosophy? I don't know. If it is, that makes it funnier. But I do know who Jodeci is. Yes. Good.

You could identify Jodeci on the spot. I could identify Jodeci, for sure. Excellent. What about Casey and jojo oh absolutely okay good kirk franklin no idea who that is who is that went gospel on him and i lost it oh yeah mary mary mary mary that's a rundy mc song it's also another gospel group another crossover gospel group damn they're big in the Jodeci community. Let's put it that way. Is Jodeci a gospel singer?

No, but there's a crossover. There's a world of Babyface. Gerald Levert. Levert, of course. Cece and Bebe. Or Bebe and Cece, I guess. The Winans. The Winans.

Okay. All right. Who sings Insane in the Membrane? No. Who sings that? Jordan. That isane? No. Who sings that? That is Cypress Hill. That's Cypress Hill. Oh, okay.

Who I was saying earlier. I was confused. All right. So, yeah. Yeah. They also sing Mary Mary by Run DMC. Doesn't Run DMC sing that, or is that just the title of the song? They also sing All Rap.

We'll be back in just a second. I'm Jordan Jessico. Be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. And I'm Drew Droege, cupcake. It's great to have Drew Droege here from the Glitter in the Garbage podcast. Your improvised comedy sketches, character work,

a lot of fun, a lot of good times, laughs, certainly. A lot of laughs. We have a lot of laughs. We have goofs. We have some guffaws. Jordan, there are other places you can find us on the internet this week. Are there? When we were in Ann Arbor, Michigan, we taped a

long introspective podcast with the folks from the Ann Arbor District Library who had invited us there. I took a listen to it the other day. I thought it really sounded nice. I think we had some interesting things to say. And so if you're interested in sort of me and Jordan's history together

and our breakups and all the rollercoaster. Sam and Diane thing going on. Seriously, if you want to hear the history of The Sound of Young America and Jordan Jesse Go from both of us and also some stuff about

what we think about the world of entertainment and how podcasting fits into it. It's basically Fast and Furious continuity talk, which is mainly all I want to talk about these days. Well, I mean, as we sat there in the conference room in the library recording it, I listened to the first 20 minutes or so,

and literally within six sentences, Jordan, you said, well, he's excited about his giant schlong. Yeah. So you want to his giant schlong. Yeah. So we want to hear. Who are you talking about yourself? Your own? Some, I don't know. A guy who we, we were, I was Jordan's RA on the performing arts hall. And there was this guy who was,

would always knock on my door at three o'clock in the morning asking for Magnum condoms. Oh, wow. Yeah. I love that. And he asked, like, do you have any magnum condoms oh wow yeah i love that yeah let me ask you like do you have any magnum condoms yeah because he wanted to specifically ask me for the big dick condoms well i guess he had a big dick i mean yeah i mean you know yeah he was a real doofus but you know what those i'm going for those are so those are so just a complete marketing thing because those actually are not good i was told by someone who is in the porn industry so if anyone if anyone can talk about mag needing magnum condoms and he said

no they are much more likely to fall off they either are necessary he's like a regular size condom he's like will is is actually right for he said 99 of guys he's like if you have a abnormally large it's only for the show of it all. It's only to go to the drugstore and be like, yeah, this is what I need. He's like, it's really bad. They're very likely to not work because they slip off. Or just buy those little colored balloons

that they make balloon animals out of. Is that the right thing to get? Sure. Yeah, I mean, if your dick is shaped like a dog, then yeah. Well, it's not exactly like a dog, but it suggests a dog. Right. Yeah, I mean, if your dick is shaped like a dog, then, yeah. Well, it's not exactly like a dog, but it suggests a dog. Right, sure, yeah. You know, you use the different colors.

I just use like a Subway sandwich bag. Right. I think that's the right thing to do. Is it filled with baked lays? Sun chips. Oh, okay. That's a good choice. It's got multiple grains. Anyway, you can listen to that podcast. It's AADL for Ann Arbor District Library dot org slash JJ Go.

You can listen to that podcast. And Jordan's on the Dominic Dirkus' Anytime Show this week. Yeah, yeah. I don't know when he posts the new episodes of those, but you should subscribe to it anyways. Absolutely. So, yes, the Anytime Show. 206-984-4FUN is the number to call.

If you want to share with us a momentous occasion, you want to ask us an important question, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. JJ,

go at MaximumFun.org, our email address. Drew, if people want to visit you on the internet, where do they visit you? Oh, well, you can, my podcast,

Glitter in the Garbage, is on Earwolf. we have a new episode every thursday that comes out so please listen to that download that and uh and i'm on facebook and twitter and and all that good stuff too so you can find me directly on that i say you sent him a nice message tell him how much you enjoyed his appearance that would be nice of you wouldn't that be nice that i'd love that i think next week on jordan jesse go we might try and get to the bottom of this friendship war situation. Oh, okay. Yeah, people have been. I used a website that did tell me that we won the friendship war,

which was with our friends, my brother, my brother, and me, who were dominating us in Twitter mentions with their tag, MBMBAM, relative to our tag, JJGO. And the internet told me that we won. But then there was some discussion as to whether that was correct. Well, let's get to the bottom of this. It's an open question. Our friends and my brother, my brother and me, have not accepted the decision that I

made. Oh, interesting. This is a Florida recount situation. Yeah, I think we're going to... It's going to divide the nation asunder. Yeah. Divided asunder. Yeah. Divided asunder. Yeah.

Maximumfund.org. Forum.maximumfund.org is where you can talk about the show. I'm out of juice. No more juices. We'll talk to you guys next time on Jordan, Jesse, go.