Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 252: Downtown Lady with Jonah Ray and Andy Wood

Episode Date: November 26, 2012

Comedians Jonah Ray and Andy Wood join Jordan for a discussion of LA Neighborhoods, unemployment movies, hipster irony, and sensory deprivation tanks.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. And I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. And this is... Jordan. Jesse. Go!

Icicles, tricycles, ice cream, candy, lollipops, popsicles, licorice sticks, Solomon, friendly, maggoty, edgy, priddle, lovin', priddle, deep, Jesse Go. Jesse is on vacay, but I've got Jonah Ray and Andy Wood here to talk about unemployment, irony, and Frogtown. Let's go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jesse Thorne is spending the holidays. By holidays, I mean Thanksgiving. So I guess he's spending the holiday with family in the Bay Area. I am here making a show because I have my priorities straight, frankly. I care more about telling the internet about my dick than I do about my family.

And I think that's why I'm a better person. Also with me today, two great people whose priorities are also straight. A stand-up comedian and the mastermind behind the Bridgetown Comedy Festival and the L.A. Pod Festival, Mr. Andy Wood. Andy, welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. I have to take – Oh, and while I'm listing your credits, I'm going to back up and also add that you are the host of the Probably Science podcast. That's true. Yeah.

And Andy, get right up on that mic. Co-host. Co-host of that. Co-host of the Probably Science podcast. And I can't say – I'm not the mastermind of the L.A. Pod Fest. Okay. That's a joint effort, but I'm one of the guys who works on it, yeah. I don't know why I care that much about making sure the audience knows I'm not the only person on this.

No, your credit where credit is due. You're a class act, Andy Wood. Oh, thank you. So I got about 50% of that intro right. It was all right. I don't know why I have to be lessening my credits. I'll take them all. You're a humble guy, and that's a great quality. Also with me, a fantastic stand-up comedian from the Nerdist podcast and

his new podcast, Jonah Radio. Jonah Ray. Hi. Welcome to the program. Welcome back to the program, I guess I should say. Thank you. You actually got some of my credits wrong, too. Oh, okay. I have been a booked and bailed guest on Probably Science about three times now.

Okay. I have a problem. Famous flake. Yeah. Flaked on something else today. Oh, wow. Yeah. I don't know what it is.

I'm going to therapy now. Okay. And I'm thinking I'm going to try and figure out what it is. You want to explore your flaking. I do. I want to know what makes me just go like, it's like, I don't know what it is, if it's scared to leave or what. I'm not really sure what it is. But to be honest, sometimes it's legitimate flaking like I just don't do it. But with anything, for some reason, I just didn't remember that we were supposed to do it.

And then I said next week and then you called me and I just didn't see the phone call. And that's kind of where we're at now. The podcast brings that out in people. You're not the first. And it's kind of where we're at now. The podcast brings that out in people. You're not the first. That's okay. And it's not your podcast. I think there's still – there's something that fires in your mind when you hear the word science that makes you close down. Sometimes it sounds like a chore. So you're going to treat it like schoolwork, you know.

So just the very notion that it involves some science could be a – Eddie Ift's podcast I've bailed on three times. Really? Well, and that you have to understand. Talkin's hit? What are you talking about? They had to rename it to be... It used to be talking shit

and now it's something else. Talking hits. That's really funny. I like that. Let's get around it by making it more confusing. Yeah, I bailed on that one a few times just because... I mean, he does that one in Venice Beach and who can blame me? That's a little bit of a haul, Andy.

Yeah. You're going to want to find someplace central to do your podcast. I require people to come to the Valley, which I know is thoroughly creepy to most LA natives, but I love the Valley. Oh, no. I'm OK with the Valley and I'm in Atwater Village, so I'm half Val, man. OK. It gets a bad rap. Dude, he's Valley adjacent, bro.

I'm on the east side of the five. I think I – You understand. Yeah, yeah. I get you, man. Are you near Frogtown? I am near Frogtown. Yeah.

That's a fascinating thing to me. Wait, wait. That it's an area that has a name? I don't know what Frogtown is. Frogtown is this neighborhood. Frogtown and D-Boys? The famous documentary about Razor Scooters right?

That's where Razor Scootering I watched I don't mean to delineate even further because of that riff but I watched last night the Bones Brigade documentary which is fantastic. Yeah. But it's like that is kind of like a maybe like a sequel or kind of what came

after to Dogtown and D-Boys. It pretty much is. I mean you know like a real sequel would have been like they would have covered of like a – maybe like a sequel or kind of what came after to Dogtown. It pretty much is. I mean like a real sequel would have been like they would have covered also like Alva's team and other – I mean that's it. All the other guys just fucking went to jail. But like they covered Stacey Peralta's – him getting together the guys that would change skating forever. But it's hard to watch the Dogtown, which was one of my favorite documentaries when it came out. And this, which is great, but if you've ever seen the Birthday Boys pool jumpers sketch, which is just like – It's just like – it's a documentary about these guys. They're just jumping into pools like in funny ways.

Yeah. It is a real great send-up of like those glory days of a sport documentaries. And then one guy scrunched up, looked like a cannonball, and then we were all like, the game has been changed. That's great. Here's my favorite little bit from the Dogtown and Z-Boys documentary. For people who don't know, this is a documentary about the early days of skateboarding in the 1970s. People know that, though, right? Yeah, it's what made it.

I mean, it was also a motion picture. Oh, that's right. They did do a fictionalized version with Heath Ledger. Yeah, exactly. And Mitch Hedberg also in that movie. Wow. He's the guy that brings – yeah, exactly. He's the guy that brings the wheels that aren't like clay wheels.

Like the ones that make it possible to do the types of tricks that people started doing. Well, my favorite part about the documentary is they're kind of talking about their early days as, like, rowdy kids. And it's like, well, we were all surfing by the pier. And, you know, it was locals only where we came from. And, you know, there's, like, fun music is playing. Like, this kind of surfy 70s. Like, da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. So this is the fun rascal montage.

It's the Munsters theme song it's playing. One of us was a werewolf, but we didn't care. My grandpa was always hanging out. Everybody was welcome as long as they were locals. Yeah, exactly. And monsters. So if we saw some dudes surfing by the pier that we didn't know, we'd go up on the pier and we'd drop a cinder block on them. Yeah.

Oh, you guys. a cinder block on them. Yeah. Oh, you guys. It's like, I don't know that that should be in the fun montage when you attempted to murder someone. Yeah. No, they were. It was pretty bad.

And that's what actually bore the whole, you know, suicidal tendencies that, you know, that all came out of that violence of that area. Right. But going back to Frogtown. Frogtown is it's south of Atwater Village along the riverside. And so it's this piece of the neighborhood that got chopped up between the 5 Freeway and the Los Angeles River. And it's just this area in between that that only has like two or three entrances to the neighborhood I think, right? I'm not sure exactly where it is or what it is.

That's why I was asking you about it because I know it exists. It's because – and that's like one of the more woodsy areas of the LA River, which a lot of people don't understand. Not on your side. No woodsy area on your side. Nothing there. You guys do have the big boy though. You do have Bob's big boy. Yeah.

Like in like the area of that water village in Broadtown. Which is an advantage. Like tons of trees and little islands that people actually live on. You know, there's like homeless people like camp out on these little islands in this little woodsy area. So it's like a hobo's paradise. It is. It really is.

So it's like a big rock candy mountain of sorts. Cops cut wooden legs. Yeah. Yeah. There's lemonade springs. Bulldogs have rubber teeth. Lake of stew and whiskey too. You could paddle all around it in a big canoe.

If you wanted to. But we're digressing. We're digressing. Yeah. I don't know the lyrics that well to that song. I would have joined in. Yeah. Thank you, Andy, for. I don't know the lyrics that well to that song. I would have joined in. Yeah. Thank you, Andy, for-

I always thought it was a fascinating song. It is. I've studied it. Yeah. You can sleep all day. You said that one already, right? Yeah, yeah. You can sleep all day.

Fuck. Sorry. They hung the Turk who invented work. I know that. That Turk got hung. I am a man. That's all I got. That's a different song from the same soundtrack.

Yeah, it's also from the Oh Brother, We're Out There soundtrack. I'm in a tight spot. So so far we've covered flaking on podcasts, subsections of L.A. neighborhoods. This is maybe the most – already the most L.A.-specific episode we have ever done. I mean maybe we can talk a little bit about which father's office is more crowded. Did you hear the Hollywood tender greens has been giving people food poisoning? I'm sticking with the Pasadena one from now on. Am I right?

Am I right? Am I right? That backyard steak salad is to die for. Yeah. I go Chipotle chicken. Guys, weigh in. Glendale Galleria or the Grove? Come on, let's get down to Brass Tech.

You can't beat the Grove. You got the farmer's market right there. Right across the street, they got the Trader Joe's, they got the Ross. Okay, enough of that. What I'm saying now is that the Americana though has free parking. Up to three hours validated. And finally, Mendocino Farms. We'll be right back on

Jordan, Jesse, Go. Hey there, Jordan, Jesse, Go listeners. Just wanted to take a minute to thank some of our amazing sponsors. First of all, as always, we have ask.metafilter.com. Life's little questions answered. It's a very cool community of very cool people who answer questions. It's the best place to go on the Internet for whatever random bric-a-brac you would like to know. Ask.metafilter.com. We thank them.

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or My Mother Was Nuts, a memoir by Penny Marshall. For a free audiobook of your choice and a free 30-day trial membership, go to audiblepodcast.com slash jjgo. That URL once again is audiblepodcast.com slash jjgo. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. Andy Wood, man at large. Jonah Ray, large man. Good nicknames, guys.

We've had some great guests lately, but they've been kind of dragging on the nicknames a little bit, I might say. Brian's nodding in agreement. We've had some people that have been a little bit confused by the concept of the nickname, but I think you guys are doing great. Well, mine was just a takeoff of his. But that was great. It's a joint effort. Yeah. Kudos. You guys have your priorities straight. Cool. Can we leave now? You've got us locked in this hotbox.

Yeah. Andy, you were saying before we started that this is a little bit like a sensory deprivation chamber, but then you went on to say that you have actually been in a sensory deprivation chamber. On more you went on to say that you have actually been in a sensory deprivation chamber. On more than one occasion. How do you know that for sure? What if you're still in it from the first time you're in it?

Yeah, maybe this is your alternate reality, man. I've never seen Altered States. Have you guys seen the – Yeah. I have played Altered Beast for the sake of Genesis. Power up, Jordan. Rise from your grave. Altered beast for the sake of Genesis.

Power up, Jordan. Rise from your grave. Yeah. William Hurt becomes a werewolf and gets inside of a bathtub of warm water, I think. Wait. Okay. You have seen the movie or not? Yeah, I've seen it, but like not since I was a kid, you know.

But that's what it's all about, isn't it? Yeah. I believe. So where do you get in a sensory deprivation chamber and why do you get in one and then what happens? I will paint the picture. OK, please. The Bridgetown Comedy Festival will be mentioned as something that I've worked on for a while. I used to live in Portland for about 10 years. And the festival is located mostly along this strip of southeast Portland called Hawthorne.

It's kind of the Haight-Ashbury of Portland. So every time I go back there for the festival – The sweet potato fries at Bar of the Gods. I don't know. I just thought maybe we could—no, no. Okay. But every year a new business that makes the place even more Portland crops up there. And just this last year, right near one of the venues, like on the way to the Mount Tabor Theater,

if you remember that one, there's now—there's a sensory deprivation chamber business called Float On. Apologies to Isaac Brock. Oh, no. Wow. But I was walking by it every day during the festival. I wish they would make the commercial Hey, I'm Isaac Brock. They all want to float down. You might remember me from my song.

You should float on down to Southeast Hawthorne Boulevard. We all float on. We all float on. All right, all ready? We've got everything. Kombucha, craft beers, and a dream catcher made from a Wiccan's pubes. So take it from me, I see Brock.

Does Isaac Brock have a lateral lisp? I don't even know. He does have a lisp. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. But he manages to mask it in his music somehow. With screaming. Yeah, well, it's like, you know, sometimes British guys sound like Americans when they're singing.

Same thing. Or do Americans sound like they're British when we sing? American punk rockers do. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's kind of the appropriate thing that has become the shorthand for what you sound like when you sing is maybe the British way of singing. I was watching like an old, all the kind of old 90s SNLs are backlogged on Netflix. And I was watching one where David Spade was, you know, David Spading around on Weekend Update. And he did something about going to see Green Day.

And he's like, I'm all right, mate. Pick one. Are you American? Are you British? I thought that was a really funny like what did the first people think of Green Day? Oh, yeah. What was like the first pop culture representation of Green Day? And could anyone imagine

that they'd still be selling out arenas? I never would have thought. They were the punchline. My parents, at any given 10-year period, my dad would glom onto one musical artist

and that would be his touchstone for any kind of like, this is what the kids are listening to. Yeah. So like, for a long time,

Coolio was just the thing that he would reference as, or if something was cool, he'd say Coolio. Like that's what he would say. No, down on the old dad. Classic dad. But then when Green Day came out, that was a name that was so bizarre it just blew his mind. And so he would keep having fun with what a silly name that was, which is not even that silly of a name.

So he'd be – what is this, The Greenest Day or something? What do they call it? It's just – it's not that strange of a name. Yeah. Yeah, it's no weirder than It's not that strange of a name. Yeah. Yeah. It's no weirder than Led Zeppelin or Steppenwolf. Yeah, I was going to say Led Zeppelin or Steppenwolf or fucking Cream. Right.

Yeah, sure. No stranger than any number of other. A Jefferson Starship. Yeah. Rolling Stones. Well, that one kind of makes sense. How so? There's an old saying about how it doesn't gather moss.

Yeah, Green Day is an old saying too. Yeah. A Green Day is covered in moss. No, it always gathers moss. Oh, right. A Green Day. Okay. Yeah, and Green Day is an old saying too. Yeah. A Green Day is covered in moss. No, it always gathers moss. Oh, right. A Green Day. OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anyhow, we're back on Hawthorne Boulevard. Oh, you're right. OK. We're floating on with eyes and breath. Right. And I noticed this business and I was curious. I had stepped inside and they're selling DVDs of Altered States or Altered – what's it called?

OK. And it's a little expensive. It's like when you go to Alcatraz and automatically you're in a gift shop where there's a whole wall of The Rock. Yeah. This is the popular movie made about this place. You don't have Birdman of Alcatraz? No. No.

We do have The Rock, though. We have The Rock, though. So I married an axe murderer with Phil Hartman as the tour guide. We have that up here. Oh, wow. With a makeshift knife or shiv. His name is Susan in that. Oh, that's right.

Or you could call me Susan. Wow. Yeah, it seems like the Alcatraz gift shop, they're like, well, we can only stock one DVD. What is the quintessential Alcatraz movie? It's The Rock. And also, but you can get the double feature with The Rock and Con Air for some reason. Right. Con Air takes place in the same universe as The Rock.

It sure does. It's like the Kevin Smith. Yeah. Right. Sure. The Kevin Smith-iverse. Where the rules are, there are no rules. Okay.

So you're in this sensory deprivation store. So I thought I'm getting all stressed out with this festival. What better way to decompress? I'm going to book myself a float, as they call it, for a couple of days after the festival. And so I come back the Wednesday after Bridgetown and I get the full spiel from a guy who I feel like he probably didn't have dreadlocks. But in my mind, he should. His essence had dreadlocks. I understand.

There is that person that when you envision them. Yeah. I can't picture him now except by putting dreadlocks on his head, which probably weren't there. But yeah, so I signed up for it. And you go into a private room. First, you get a spiel about how the above all else don't touch your eyes because – Okay. That's the biggest – don't touch your eyes because they put you in this covered bathtub that's filled with super salinated water.

So I think they say they dissolve 800 pounds of salt in every tank. is they put you in this covered bathtub that's filled with super salinated water. So I think they say they dissolve 800 pounds of salt in every tank. Okay. So it's two or three times more salty than even the Dead Sea. So you float really high in the water because the water is so dense. So when you're lying in the water, the water only reaches about halfway. Like half of your body is fully out of the water the whole time. Yeah, wow.

But you don't ever touch your face or your eyes because it's so salty. It'll burn immeasurably. But anyhow, so yeah, you go in there for an hour or so and you just experience – Naked? You get there naked? You get in there naked. There's a shower. They give you a thing to put your contacts in if you have them. You shower up.

You lie in there. And then at the end of the hour, they have some music that will start to play slowly to get you out of your stupor. But yeah, for an hour, you experienced nothing. And the one I did in Portland, they did it really well. What are you dropping on nothing? I dropped 50 bucks an hour on nothing is how much it was. It's about the same as a massage.

But I would say it was better than a massage as far as the way I felt afterwards. Really? Yeah. It was like a total hitting the reset button on your brain. It sounds so cheesy to say, but it really works. Because I like a massage because you just check out for an hour. Sure. And there's like just – and you're just feeling good.

I don't like it when they start like pulling your leg up and shit like that. But like when you just get a massage, you can just kind of – you don't have to do anything for an hour. And it feels really good. Yeah. I mean I think – yes. I think – I mean, podcasting. No, but like, but as the guys that do what we do and like, you know, we're comics and we're always like, you know, we can, we're always stressing out about ideas or trying

to think of like the next thing that's happening, the show tonight, the idea or like the thing I'm working on with my friends, the video. And then like you can feel overwhelmed by not doing anything really physically at all. Yeah. I mean, I think, I think the, the stressful part about comedy and creativity is certainly not the hours. But it's – yeah, it is that like what do I use my brain space for? Like what am I – am I thinking about the right thing now? Like what am I using my brain power to do?

And so how do you not think when you're in there? It's at least the first half hour and they say you get better at this the more you do it. But yeah, you definitely spend the first big portion of it thinking about trying not to think about things. Your brain's still spinning about just the stress of your life. Do you focus on your breathing?

I was just trying to focus on thinking of reasons why I didn't have to think about things one at a time going through. I'm like, okay, I don't have to think about the festival right now. I can stop thinking about that. I give't have to think about things one at a time going through, I'm like, OK, I don't. OK, I don't have to think about the festival right now. I can stop thinking about that. OK, I give myself permission to stop thinking about that. I don't have to worry whether or not Con Air and Face Off take place in the same universe.

I don't have to think about whether that plane was hijacked anywhere near the Bay Area. Yeah, it takes a while. It takes a while to let yourself completely go. But then eventually you do start to sort of – I don't want to say hallucinate. And maybe I actually fell asleep. I'm not sure. I could have been dreaming. But at certain times it felt like I was falling or like that the thing was tilting and I was moving around.

But – I guess – well, I guess here's my main question is were you ever at any point – did you feel tempted to jack off? Because you're nude. Yeah. You're deprived of – I'd be a liar if I said that didn't cross my mind. And what did you – what was that process like? Talk about relaxing.

When did you decide to jack off or not jack off? Here's my logic. I'm thinking if this water is so salty that getting it in your eye would be bad, I'm imagining pee hole not going to be that great. Because if you've ever gotten some soap in there accidentally when you're showering, it's not a pleasant experience. I'm just imagining this super salinated water. Also, I'm imagining there's kind of like a code of conduct. There's an implicit agreement that none of us are going to jack off in the tub. But I hope

regardless of whether or not you're jacking off they're replacing the water between people, right? No, they can't. That's so much. Really? I mean, how could they?

They do. I guess you're right. They say they filter it. Yeah, I mean I would jack off in it to teach them a lesson. Just to mark your territory. It's like, hey man

you guys should really clean these out. People are jerking off in their hoop. Me! But that's not the point. I have it on good authority somebody is doing it. But no one stopped me Territory. It's like, hey, man, you guys should really clean these out. People are jerking off in there. Who? Me. But that's not the point. I have it in good authority. But no one stopped me.

Yeah. You could have. You could have. You sat idly by like George Bush reading to a – Wow. Getting real political. This is my 9-11, you guys. I want to know.

Do you think about it now though? Do you think – is it something you want to kind of – Go jack off in a sense of deprivation? No, no. Just like go – do you sometimes think like I'm getting pretty stressed. I wouldn't mind just fucking checking out and going into a deprivation tank. Funny you should ask because I did think that exact thing and I was telling my friends how great this experience was in Portland. And I talked some friends into going with me down to Venice where we tried it there and very different experience, very different level of quality control.

Because every once in a while a guy lifts the tank and then tries to get you to sign up for a medical marijuana. Yeah, exactly. This is all we're doing here, man. The guy who gave us the instructions had obviously fried his brain on acid to the point that all he could do was start to finish, do the instructions, and if any words were interjected, he'd have to start over with the whole thing. His brain just had a loop that it knew that thing. And just like it was just shocking. What was the name of the place in Venice?

Did it have an indie rock name? Oh, I can't remember. But it's good because I'm trashing it. The place in Portland I wholeheartedly recommend. Float On on Hawthorne, it actually was great. It was Float On through to the other side. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. But the Portland one, they got the water temperature exactly right.

So you couldn't even feel where water stopped and air began. Like you literally couldn't feel anything. Yeah. But the one in Venice, the temperature was just slightly off. I was very aware that I was still in the world. And I could still hear, I think, occasional noises from outside of the business. It just kind of took me out of it. It wasn't as great an experience,

but I mean, it's still worth trying. It's a thing that's worth doing once because I think you do kind of surprise yourself with where your brain can go. Yeah, I've always thought about that. I've gotten really into these meditation audio things where they play like a pulse. Okay.

They'll play like, you know, like sounds over it and maybe some nature sounds on top of that. But I'll just lie down and close my eyes and just play that stuff in my earbuds and it fucking – it's great. Yeah. It's just nice and just you don't think about anything besides this pulse that like – and there's different types where it's like this one will make you motivated and this pulse will make you feel oh interesting there's a different pulse for different yeah feelings it's all these different like you know this one's seven megahertz or whatever uh i'm getting really into those things yeah and i i guess i guess my my thing about that stuff is and i i feel like i am trying to do more like therapeutic stuff for myself like do things that are you know that are in the line of self-care.

But I guess doing comedy stuff, it is a little hard to take that stuff seriously sometimes. Exactly. And I imagine being in a sensory deprivation tank, I would be like, I'm going to jack off here and talk about it on the podcast. That would be – that is my original instinct. But yeah, was there a little hump to get over with that in meditation pulses? Well, I mean it's just something that made me feel good. And so I just kind of did it.

It wasn't really – it was – I just kind of – I subscribed to this thing called RDO, which is like you can listen to stream music. And just anytime there's new episodes, I'll just listen to anything. And like I just saw, I was like – and it was when I was still working at the soup and I was just stressed all the time. And I would just like put the headphones on at work and just start working with that going on. And I was like, man, this is making me feel great. And then I was like I want to try to just lie down and listen to it. Oh, interesting. And it hasn't – and I'm like –

Do you feel like your work was better when you were doing it? Did you notice a change in that? I noticed that I just – I finished stuff. work was better when you were doing it? Did you notice a change in that? I noticed that I just – I finished stuff. Uh-huh. You know, I didn't like – I didn't have a chance to like stop writing a sketch or psych myself out.

You know, when you're just trying to finish. You just like – the main thing you got to do when you're writing anything is just finish it. Uh-huh. Finish it first. Fucking fix it later, you know. And so like I was just like, you know, like not finishing stuff because of the environment. You're in an office and it sucks.

And you hear people saying, oh, two more days to the weekend. It's not a good environment for creativity because it's all been covered. Hey, the fire alarm is going off. We better get out of here. Sorry, man. We're in here. We're in here. And so, yeah, I felt it kind of helped me and it helped me – it gave me a chance to just organize my thoughts.

And that's actually the stuff that prompted me to try going to like a therapy for the first time in my life. I was like, wow. Because I put it off where I'm like, I'm smart enough to figure it out. Sure. I'm not crazy. I like drinking all the time, but I'm not a psycho. You guys have seen me drunk. It's like I keep it together pretty well.

Yeah. Better than like a lot of our other friends. One of my favorite drunks you are. Yes. Delightful. I love it. I love it. And so like I went to therapy and like it's just been – it's nice.

It's nice. It's like a massage where you get – you pay somebody for this hour where you could be completely selfish and you do not have to reciprocate anything. And it's like I correlate it to doing that stuff. Like getting a massage where – it's like if you have a girlfriend or anything like that and they're like, do you want a massage? You go, sure. But then there's that point like in the middle of it where you're like, now I have to – giving a massage is the worst. The hands cramp. You get sweaty. If you're doing it to I have to – giving a massage is the worst. Yeah. The hands cramp. You get sweaty.

If you're doing it to a girl, you get a boner no matter what. Sure. Yes. And just that's what happens. Yeah. But like that. I feel like when I am giving a girlfriend a massage, I will initiate sex so I can stop giving the massage. I'm like, oh, boy.

I really don't want to do this. Hmm. What's the – and then, yeah. I mean it's like, oh, I had this planned all along. This was an erotic fantasy that Jordan cooked up because, no, I just – my hands hurt. Yeah, my hands hurt. It started. Yeah. Yeah.

That's the sad part about like when you're in a relationship. It's just like just the massage. No funny business. Yeah. Just upper back, shoulders. Because then you get them like relaxed and then they're tired and they're like, no. Jonah, I wanted to ask. You were at the soup for a while.

And you left kind of recently, a couple months ago? Yeah, well, I was at Web Soup for a while. And then the soup proper. And then the soup proper for a year. And then I left pretty much almost exactly to the week maybe it's been a while since you haven't had a 9 to 5 yeah what's it like it's great because I'm actually I'm actually

maybe a couple weeks into my first 9 to 5 zone yeah wait but you like yeah I left fuel TV at the beginning of this year but it just so happened I was kind of just lucky enough to go from little web project to little web project that had an office environment to it.

So, yeah, for a while there, I was just keeping an office schedule just kind of by the grace of God, and I'm BS, but it has stopped. And I'm interested. I want to hear about what your 9-to-five list time has done. It's great. It's great. You think like how am I going to fill up all that time that I – because when you have a job, you're always like, oh, I got to run these errands. I got to go get this stuff.

And you get it all done, but you're just kind of exhausted. And that was the thing that was getting hard with being nine-to-five and then also like trying to develop and grow a relationship that I'm really stoked on. And then also working on stand-up and working – doing the podcast and stuff like that. And then I was like – I felt overwhelmed by everything. And that was like when I started doing the meditation stuff. Oh, OK. And also to like – you're doing all that stuff and then like pour yourself into like that stuff and then be trying to be emotionally available for a girlfriend right it's just like you're just you have it you know there's nothing

of you left yeah and so you're just like let's just watch tv right and you know because you're just tired of going out at night and doing shows and stuff like that and i was so i was like i was like man it's like i'm gonna have all this time yeah but it's a lot like when you uh when you think you when you when you start making more money and you're like i'm to have all this time. Yeah. But it's a lot like when you think you – when you start making more money and you're like I'm going to have all this extra money. But all – everything just adjusts itself. Right. Everything adjusts itself and I still feel just as busy as I did. I'm seeing more movies I want to see.

Yes, I've noticed that too. I've seen so many movies. Yeah, and it's great. I've seen so many movies. It's great. I love being up to date with that stuff. Me too. It's fun.

It is interesting that like in a weird way like no girl wants to say, oh, I've got an unemployed boyfriend. Like that's embarrassing. But in a weird way, an unemployed boyfriend is kind of the best boyfriend. As long as he's got like some cash. Sure. Right, right. Oh, yes. Not a broke.

And self-esteem because I've been on the other end of that where I didn't know what my next gig was going to be. Because a man needs – I mean not that I attach that much of my sense of self-worth to my profession. You've got a sweet – Andy, you've got a sweet pool. Yeah. I know what – yeah. And that's the thing that's like hard like it goes back to the whole stress thing of what we all deal with is that, you know, we're always looking forward to the next thing. We're always like, you know, whether it be like a show tonight or like an improv show the next day or like a shoot I'm doing or like I'm like me and my friends are going to pitch something.

You're always leaning forward. You're always kind of like trying. You're always like you're leaning forward. So your feet always have to catch yourself and you're always walking and moving forward and you never really just like stand up straight and just like you're just never there. And so it can get really ridiculous like after a certain amount of time. I can't remember where I started with this idea. No, no, no.

You can stand up straight now. You have the time to is what you're saying. Yeah, exactly. Get in the moment. I have time to like assess what it is I want to do. But so – oh, no. Now I remember. Like so when you're moving forward like that all the time and then like all of a sudden there's like – you're moving forward but you're like, oh, there's nothing.

I'm not leading towards anything. Yeah. And then that's what destroys you. Yeah. When you're like, I don't have – even if it's not even like – it doesn't even have to be a pain gig. You need that thing. Just a purpose in life kind of. Yeah, exactly.

Just a point. I mean otherwise what are you providing to this mate? It sort of goes back to some evolutionary thing I'm sure of being a provider. Yeah. All I have is my erotic massage. Yes. A 15-minute massage. And you want to think that it's like you have – if anything, just like I'm an artistic person and I'll offer them that.

Right. And then like when you have nothing – like that happened when I was living with a girl downtown and like I had a bunch of stuff going on that we got back together. I've heard some bad things about these downtown ladies. I've heard that they can be – I don't know. I could have told you not to get involved with a downtown lady. Well, it was downtown. It was crazy. Yeah.

It was the mid-2000s. Sorry, boys. It's Frogtown. That's one of my favorite things. Forget it, guys. It's Little Armenia. Oh, can I – Forget it, Jake.

It's Frogtown. Yeah, forget it, Jake. It's Little Armenia. Oh, can I – Forget it, Jake. It's Friday. Yeah, forget it, Jake. It's historic Filipino town. A little detour. Here is one of maybe I think the funniest things I've ever said that I think has gotten just totally passed over. Do you guys know how at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery they play movies sometimes? Yes, Sinispia. Yeah, yeah.

There's – yeah. So what happens is it sounds very grim when you say it to somebody who isn't familiar with it. But there's a – Or respects the dead or isn't – Right, right. Who has any kind of spirituality at all, who isn't dead inside. There's this cool cemetery in Hollywood and they will project a movie up on one of the mausoleums and then people will come with blankets and Trader Joe's ones. It's a lot of fun. It's very fun other than it being maybe a little bit creepy.

But you're not sitting on the bodies. There's a zone. There's kind of a park-free zone where you're not – Oh, but you park your bikes on top of the bodies. Oh, yeah, yeah. You chain your fixie to – They position the porta-potties over those. You don't actually stand on them. Right, yeah, the porta-potties.

Literally pissing on the graves. So the first time I went to one of these, it was Chinatown. And it was for my friend Jake's birthday. Jake, the name of the main character from Chinatown. Oh, no. And so, you know, so after this, it's a little bit of an ordeal to get out. It's very crowded. And then people are, you know, and everybody's got these little picnics.

So everybody's kind of filling up these garbage cans with their picnic leavings. And me and Jake, after watching Chinatown, we're throwing everything away at the bin. And he's like, ah, the bin's full. We can't get anything else in the bin. And I said, forget it, Jake. It's crowded cemetery Cemetery movie. Nothing. Nothing.

I like it. Anyway. I like that too. Sorry. I like it a lot. I would have given you a high five or whatever the appropriate, whatever your gesture of appreciation of choice is. Yeah.

You should have reacted like Showtime at the Apollo. Like an audience member. If there was any justice in the world, everyone around me would have reacted like I was Cat Williams at Showtime at the Apollo. Like an audience member. If there was any justice in the world, everyone around me would have reacted like I was Cat Williams at Showtime at the Apollo. Doing a mic drop, yeah. Anyway, you were saying about your spiritual journey.

Was I? I thought we'd moved on. We moved on? Chinatown? Frogtown? Frogtown. Oh, you were saying you were dating a girl. It's Taitown. You were dating a girl downtown. Forget it, Jordan. It's Little Leafy. Oh, yeah were saying you were dating a girl. It's Tytown. You were dating, yeah. You were dating a girl downtown. Forget it, Jordan. It's Little Leafy.

Oh, yeah. And that's, yeah, that's the thing where, you know, I then, I had stuff going on and we got together and then all of a sudden, you know, stuff kind of dried up, which it does. We all know how that works. Sure, yeah. I had nothing and it was starting to bug me and I was like getting kind of depressed and she was like, I thought stuff was going on.

I thought you had, I thought you were good now. And like, it destroys you as a guy. Yeah, yeah. And it's weird because it is – as we're all very – like we're aware, guys. We're not into the idea of being a man. But it's like every once in a while that strikes a chord and you're like, I need to give. Like it's the whole idea of like if you're just going to get coffee with a girl, you pay for the coffee. Yeah, right. Absolutely know i'm always surprised i feel like i feel like

on on on recent dates i sometimes get a get a shocked reaction when i automatically grab the check is that not how it's done these days are are are are we in a generation of non-paying guys well i feel like well a lot i mean maybe it's respectful to react with shock and surprise on the girls. Like, oh, thank you. No one ever – maybe that's just like a little bit of politeness. I think that's just a polite thing because then it also – like it reciprocates you going like, yeah, it is a good thing to do. And everyone wants to fucking not spend money, have money spent on that. Right, right, right.

Yeah. On a surface level, you want that. But yeah, as a guy, if you do – the girl who's the breadwinner for a long time it does chip away at your your sense of self-worth but yeah i try to offer for the most part when i when i can to pick up the check i do i take umbrage with women who uh don't even do that first fake attempt i expect i'm fine with paying but i want the first fake attempt yeah you want you want the idea of going dutch yeah i want them to say no no, no. And it does make you feel, it is like the modern equivalent of taking down that saber-toothed tiger when you can tell her,

put it away! That is like getting her to unreach her hand from the purse. And the thing is, we all know the other side of that because we all have friends that are rich and you don't get food with them and you do the slow

because it's like you know how much money they have. You're just like, oh, I got this. Oh, thanks, bud. Because this is nothing to you. That's funny. Maybe my rich friend. I mean, I've got some podcast cash I can throw down, network TV guy.

I feel like I know some people that do the op that just don't even acknowledge that they could be – everyone's on their own just to keep – and I feel like that might be a good strategy if you are trying to maintain real friendships with people and make sure you don't have hangers on. Yeah. If you were that person, maybe you don't even act like anything is assumed and you don't cover everybody else. But I don't know. I feel like if I made it big, I would always cover bar tabs, I think. Yeah, and I, you know, I'm not close to making it big, but I have that always that feeling if I have like a couple extra bucks. Get a little Bing cash.

Get a little Bing cash. You know what's crazy is I don't, but everyone started treating me like I do. Wait, so for the home listener, Jonah has been seen in a series of Bing commercials. Two Bing commercials. You are very genial in them. They are good commercials. That's the big response.

You seem polite. Right. It sure looked like you were having fun up there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not farting up there in those commercials. It's kind of a man on the street thing. But maybe people are assuming you're making bankers. Well, it's because they see it everywhere. Yeah, I do see it everywhere. You see it everywhere online. It's been of a man on the street thing. But you – maybe people are assuming you're making bankers. Well, it's because they see it everywhere.

Yeah. I do see it everywhere. You see it everywhere online. It's been on TV. Yeah, yeah. I feel like I've seen it on TV. It's been on TV. But it was like – it's like mostly everyone is like, ah, I can't watch a YouTube video or I can't watch anything on Hulu without seeing you.

Yeah. And so they just assume, as I would, that like this means money. Yeah. And I've gotten a good amount of money from it. But it's like it's online money. Like I just got a – Right. I've gotten a good amount of money from it. But it's like, you know, it's online money. Like I just got a little check for like, you know, 50 bucks. Sure. And like that's kind of like – that was like three weeks ago I'm buying.

I got a $50 check. Respectable but maybe not – Yeah. It's not – like so it's weird when like a lot of my friends are just like – They're doing the slow reach for the wallet these days. Like, oh, Mr. Bing. And I'm realizing, like, I'd rather not, like, you know, I'd rather not be in that commercial. Sure. Like, it's just like the assumed money.

It's worth the change in status to your friends, kind of, to have that little paycheck. Yeah. And it's like, you know, I thought when you're in a big commercial like that, I thought, you know, I was like, oh, that sets you up for the year. I never, you know, that was my first commercial. Yeah. Oh, huh. You're like, that sets me up for a nice road trip to. That fills up my car now.

Yeah, yeah. Mendocino. Yeah. Wait, where is Mendocino? I don't know. It's not even near here, is it? There's a, to explain a joke from the first portion of the show, there's a trendy sandwich place in LA now called Mendocino Farms.

Well, you know what? The first Mendocino Farms I ever went to was at the SFO airport. Oh, I didn't know that. It's great. Yeah. I mean, it is a great sandwich. It's one of those things that is like kind of so trendy and when you go there, there's like an obnoxious line and, you know, the clientele is a little bit obnoxious.

But fuck, this is a good sandwich. It's so good. I like good sandwiches. I'm bummed I'm going back onto a slow-carb diet. Oh, really? Or just maybe probably no carb. That's a sandwich-free situation. It's a sandwich-free situation.

Or a lettuce wrap situation. I'm not even going to bother. But that's not even – No, I mean, have you ever tried getting the protein version of an In-N-Out burger? Oh, no. It sounds like it's besides the point. You realize how much the bun brings to the table. Oh, God.

You realize how much of that – Oh, that In-N-Out bun is everything. That's the whole game. It's funny, too. If you look at the breakdown of how horrible all this stuff is for you, the bun is the most calories. More than the cheese and the patty. But yeah, I feel like if you're in that situation, like, oh, I should get a bunless In-N-Out burger, you should probably just go on the hunt for a delicious salad. Because that bunless In-N-Out burger, you should probably just go on the hunt for a delicious salad because that bun list In-N-Out burger is probably nothing.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. But like that's – a good salad usually has cheese in it. Got to cut out the cheese. No, yeah. Wait. I thought cheese was OK on a no-carb situation. But this is a slow-carb thing.

This is just basically meat, beans and vegetables is all you could really do. No, fruit. You can't even have fruit. Yeah. I think I was talking to a friend who was on this and there's too much sugar in And I did it a while back and I lost, you know, like 15 pounds within a month. Okay. And it was great.

Is this purely for weight loss reasons? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it's not for health. Okay. It's for, I just like, you know, I was a real fat kid and then like I lost weight and then like I just, I see myself fluctuating all the time. And I want to just try and see if I can drop it down.

I want to look like you want to look like an Andy Wood. I want to look like Andy Wood. Andy Wood's a nice looking. I mean, I think you are both nice looking guys. Jonah, you are not a you're not a fat guy. I know. I know. But Andy Wood at a pool party will take his shirt off.

I'll hesitate. Yeah. I mean, Andy Wood does have some very good pool parties. I mean, if you are ever lucky enough to be in the L.A. comedy community, maybe you will get an invite to an Andy Wood pool party. And it's a delight. Oh, that's right. Yeah. And I bombed.

I tried to do like – I tried to read poems that I wrote when I was 15 and like comment on them. And it seemed to do nothing but bum everybody out. That's not pool party material. I thought it was funny and I'm not just saying that because I'm the host of the party. I enjoyed it. It was a good set. Thanks. Thanks.

It was just like I was like, oh, it's a pool party. This is something fun. I wanted to try something new. You need to play to the room. You need to like what's the deal with those inflatable alligators? Yeah. Pool noodles. It's a fun thing to do.

Where's the pool marinara? I'm just riffing here, man. I don't know if that's even riffing. Yeah, you're right. It's just making puns. Here's what you didn't factor into account, is that this audience at nightfall, watching this comedy show had been drinking next to the pool. I've been drinking in the sun for the

past six to eight hours. Yeah. An untold amount of alcohol. And yeah, you combine the sun. The sun is just like stirring the pot for everybody's... It's not even the drunkenness. It's just the tiredness and the – you're just logy and not – it's the worst possible comedy crowd. It's a lot of energy to put out.

Yeah. Like to be drinking all day, then to laugh on top of that. Sure. Because your voice is probably already pretty hoarse. You just want to go – Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And that's not a sound a comedian wants to hear.

Yeah. Yeah. Even if it is an approving grunt. It's like trying to get drunk and then going to see a movie. Yeah. You're like, oh, man, I'm starting to get tired. I just want to chat so I can stimulate my brain and not fall asleep. I did that that night, actually, after drinking all day and then watching comedy by the pool and drinking even more.

I went to go see Brave in 3D. Oh, wow. drinking even more, I went to go see Brave in 3D. And before going to see that, I looked up at the sky and I noticed, I'm like, oh my God, I can't believe I've never noticed that there are two very bright, exactly equally bright stars right next to each other in the sky. I'm like, how could I? Then I turned my head and the two stars turned. I was like, oh. Oh, boy.

Okay. So I went to see a 3D movie with double vision. Oh, no. And I hated it. I hated Brave, and I can't tell if it was because I was drunk or because it was one of the worst Pixar movies yet. Oh, huh. Was it bad? Have you guys seen it?

I didn't see it. I saw it. I thought it was fine. I don't put too much on the movies. I don't – I go – I'm spending time and money on going to this thing and I'm damned if I'm not going to have a good time at least. Right.

Let me know, and Andy, you do have a 9 to 5, right? You have an office you go into these days? Yeah, I've been working for the last three weeks on Whitney Cummings

has a new show on E! It's actually going to be right after The Soup called Love You Mean It, a talk show that starts on Wednesday. Say it like, Love You Mean It!

Love You Mean It! Love You Mean It! Are you writing on that? No, I'm an associate producer, whatever that means. Yeah, no. Actually, I'm really excited about it. I'm super proud of it. It's going to be funny.

That's great. Well, I was going to go back to the topic of unemployment movies, like going to see a movie in the middle of the day. That is a treat. Yeah, I used to see – me and Josh Fadum always used to run into each other like back in the day. Yeah. Like eight years ago of just like run into each other like back in the day. Yeah. Like eight years ago of just like running into each other and being like, hey. Noon, huh?

Noon show at the Vista, huh? Let's do this. Yeah, yeah. What's been your favorite unemployment movie so far? So far? Recently. Bernie. I watched Bernie.

Oh, isn't Bernie good? Yeah. I liked Bernie a lot too. Yeah. I loved Bernie. Oh, isn't Bernie good? Yeah, I liked it a lot. I liked Bernie a lot too. Yeah. I loved it. I thought it was kind of just a nice song for Texas or Texans. Yeah. It just talks about their – it's very much about Texan people. Sure. More than anything else.

Yeah, no, that's where all my extended family is from. Oh, really? It was kind of nice. Yeah, it definitely seemed to ring very true. I mean other than actually using real people, which I don't think it – it's not really explicit in that these are real people. You kind of have to find that out afterwards. I didn't know. I thought they were just really good actors.

Yeah, yeah. No, it is nice. They're all very funny and charming. You mean the actual – I thought you meant it's based on a true story. You mean the actual cast is – So it's – yeah. Yeah. Well, it's based on a true story.

I read up on it. That's my favorite thing to do afterwards after seeing something that was like based off something true and just like reading all about it and seeing like maybe some of the horrible parts they left out or some of the like fantastical parts they put in. And they're – so all the actors in the – all the real actors do all the stuff. But they have like – it's like the movie is narrated by just these people talking about all that stuff that happened and about this guy and this lady and all this stuff. And they're just so good. And you realize that they're just – they're the actual people from that town that that happened in. Yeah, it's a great – it's a really great device.

And I think – yeah, I mean artistically it's great. I can't help but shake the feeling that practically it's like Jack Black is like, I've got two weeks to make an indie movie. I can be in two-thirds of this. But it is a terrific movie and it is so great to see Jack Black in like a non-fluffy – like an actual movie. Yeah, an actual movie. I think that's going to happen more now. I think he fucking had his big huge moment of sch. And I think he's going to be more thoughtful. He had his big multi-million dollar bird watching movie.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I couldn't watch that. I tried to watch that. That was one of the last junkets I did for Fuel, and I went to see that Jack Black, Steve Martin, Owen Wilson bird watching movie. I forgot that already came and went. Yeah, the big year. I forgot that already came and went.

Yeah, the big year. It's a weird movie in that, like, if you see the commercials, it looks like it's maybe kind of like a middle-aged bucket list. It looks like these guys are just on vacation. No, it's about birdwatching. Also, every scene is about birdwatching. Like, it's not like – All that. And when they're not explicitly birdwatching, they are talking about it. So it's like it's funny that they had to, you know, chop up the four sentences in the movie that aren't about birdwatching, they're talking about it. So it's like it's funny that they had to chop up the four

sentences in the movie that aren't about birdwatching to make this trailer. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. And there are no jokes in the movie. It was just a passion project from some director who's an ornithologist or something. Yeah, it's weird. It does seem like someone is just super into birdwatching. I guess what I would guess

if I were to make an uninformed Hollywood guess is that someone wrote some sort of crazy dodgeball-ish take on birdwatching movies. That there's a hotshot birdwatcher played by Owen Wilson. There's a schlubby birdwatcher played by Jack Black. And it makes maybe this kind of raunchy kind of comedy you would see on FX in the afternoon or something. But yeah, and then, I don't know, something happened and somebody decided that family-friendly movies are more profitable

and it changed because it is so dull. It is really a dull movie. I watched Hitchcock. Oh, how was that? Someone saw Hitchcock. It's okay. It's not the best. It seems like maybe it's okay. Yeah, it's okay. I want to check out The Girl now, which is the HBO Hitchcock movie that just came out.

Hitchcock, the one that's out in theaters, I wanted to see. I thought it was going to delve more into just the production and all that. And they talk a lot about just making Psycho. But I don't think they could have shown too much of it legally. And it does end up being like telling a story that I didn't know about that, you know, his wife Alma like was his collaborator since his very first movie. And that like and she's a huge part of what makes Hitchcock movies good. Like she's like, you know, everyone's like, well, she knows how to edit stuff and she's

like good at, you know, like producing and she can write up and punch up scripts like she's the reason like his stuff is so good. And talked a lot about that, so that was good. But overall, it was just kind of this, like, you know, yeah, it was fun. All right. I saw the other day this movie that Tim Heidecker is in called The Comedy. Have you guys heard about this? Yeah, yeah.

Heard about it. Anybody seen it? No? Nobody? Not yet. Not yet. This is a really weird slog of a movie. It's very, very slow. Not yet. awful and he you know he doesn't take anything seriously there's nothing he says that's not a joke he's not rolling his eyes at you know they go to uh they go to a church randomly and and you know instagram themselves in goofy you know in goofy poses on the pews um you know it's super

slow it has a real non-ending it's it's real tough to watch um i think there's a lot of there's there's value in seeing it but i thought it was interesting that it came out the same time as that uh new york times thing everybody was spreading around about irony has anybody read this no you know neil mahoney was telling me about that and you know it's like there's a test you can take how often do you reference a movie how often do you reference your childhood oh funny yeah like i was like this is really referencing a movie? Is that like a really a hipster trait? Yeah, I was wondering and it's funny because the, yeah, these things

do seem to be talking about the same kind of guy who like can't stop making a joke and you know, who doesn't take anything seriously and I don't know. I kind of liked the movie. Hard, it's a hard recommendation, but I was wondering do you guys feel like you still know this guy do you

guys still feel like you know this insufferable guy who only jokes around because it seems like you know it's kind of people are trying to comment on it now but it feels like maybe that's over a little bit it feels like it's over to me feels like it's five or ten years ago yeah it does feel like it is a bit past it's funny because you know, there's that show Nathan Barley from England that like, you know, made fun of like hipsters and the type of people who do that kind of stuff.

And that was like, I was talking to guys who made it and this was in, I think 2005 this was made or, you know, four. I was talking to the guys

who made it and they were saying like, yeah, by the time that movie came out, like hipsters was already like a passe thing in England, in London. Right.

And even though it was like thriving in the States. And it's just – I think it's way past that. I think it's like the whole idea of just a hipster thing. It's like even just calling someone a hipster feels like people calling somebody a hippie in the 80s and 90s. A little bit. And I think that a guy – like a guy now, like maybe 10 years ago, a guy who's wearing a little bow tie and has a little mustache is being ironic. But now that's just fashionable, right?

That's just fashion. Like now that's – you want to look like Mumford & Sons, which is the biggest band. It's like, sure, yeah, it seems like some of that stuff that was done as goofs 10 years ago has now just become fashionable. Yeah. I don't know. It's funny because I'm on Instagram and sometimes I'll just take a picture of my friends. And then there's a lot of kids, like Nerdist fans that follow me. And so they'll say like, look at those hipsters.

I'm just like, I don't understand. I can't even fathom. It's just someone with maybe that's a little unshaven. Maybe someone with a plaid shirt. And no one ever says plaid. They just say, look at that flannel. It's like you don't know the difference. Flannel's a material.

Flannel's a material. Plaid is a pattern. Yeah. And they're like, it's like, oh like you don't know the difference. Flannel's a material. Flannel's a material. Plaid is a pattern. Yeah. And they're like – it's like, oh, I don't know the new terms. I'm like, that's fucking – that's ancient Gaelic. That's like the best Scottish warriors. I'll devil's advocate here for a second. I did – when we were talking about meditation and stuff, I did – I would be skeptical that I could take stuff like that seriously, that very earnest.

And who's more earnest than a hippie? I'm basically nobody. I mean it's basically being earnest. So yeah, I kind of wonder if my skepticism at like self-improvement stuff, if that is like a weird – if that is a weird ironic distancing that I just insist on doing. I don't think so. that I just insist on doing. I don't think so. We've known each other for a very long time now and we've had very many serious conversations.

Yeah. We've gotten real with each other on occasion. Totally. And that's kind of what makes us friends. When you know somebody that you can actually kind of do that with and not always have to joke around. Right, right. Especially in the world of comedy.

Yes. Or in Los Angeles in general. And so, you know, like that's why we've remained, you know, we don't hang out all the time, but we're friends. Right. And we know things about each other. And I think that's just, I don't, I think that's just you worried about, you know, like how much you can commit to something.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I guess, I guess I really like took, like watching that movie, reading that article, like I did take stock of how much I joke around and I guess I really took stock watching that movie and reading that article. I did take stock of how much I joke around. And I'm like, I don't think joking around is a bad thing. I don't think it's a bad thing. Yeah, but I do think it gets out of control sometimes. Anyway.

Yeah, no, I don't think it's a bad thing. I think I have the same sort of love-hate thing with hippies because I think part of me is jealous because they really do believe what they say they believe. Yeah, it seems fun. believe what they say they believe. It seems fun. It seems like if I could commit 100% to being just like a fucking burning man, live at a friend's house, backpack kind of guy, I bet it's great. The reason I make fun of hippies in my act is because that is just so short-sighted and often it just masks this actual selfishness and disregard for others.

And I've seen it firsthand because I had to, I mean, I'm not going to do the bit, but I rented my house out in Portland to these hippie girls who just destroyed it, like had no respect for this space. You can do the bit if you want to. I won't call you out if you do the bit. I'll just talk about how I read from one of the girls' journal. Yeah. This girl left her journal at my house and I would feel bad about making fun of her on

stage if she hadn't destroyed my house. Right. Think globally but then I guess just fuck over your landlord. Just destroy your immediate surroundings and leave behind – yeah, just no respect. No respect. Anyhow, so like this girl – but she had this bucket list. It was so earnest and so silly that i can't respect this person even though like i said i do i wish i could be earnest i wish i wish it could

be committed to everything that i believe in fully and be in the moment always and stuff but like this girl had her her journal had a bucket list in it which was my favorite thing i've ever found in my life she had top 100 things to do before i die and it was just beautiful because it was a mix of things that are actually accomplishable tasks. And it was like, kiss a wish. Completely impossible. Can't do that. Literally, she had things like learn to weld, take care of a dog,

dismantle systems of oppression and capitalism wherever they may exist. Oh, my God. Yeah. Get a tattoo and then like an S in parentheses or tattoos, you know. Yeah. Learn kick-ass ninja skills, i.e. martial arts shit. Start an architecture firm. Martial arts shit.

This is like – this sounds like, you know, this sounds like it could be a character in the show Girls. Yeah. That's what that – like, you know, like it just – it's so – here's what's weird too about like hippies. You know, at least they act like they have something they believe in. Yeah. At least they have an idea of just like when – you know, at least they think they think globally. Yeah. Or at least they think that they're doing something good.

At least they like – you know, they're taking on the persona of people that do something. people that do something. When like the hipster type of person today, they think locally and by that, I mean it's just them. It's just like their body is the local – they're copying a style that was kind of made – they like – copying a style of people who do stuff. Yeah. Like, you know, when – remember like it's like when Pabst Blue Ribbon started showing up at bars for like five bucks? Sure.

And they were thinking like, well, no, like everyone drinks that. No, you're seeing broke bands on tour drinking it because it's the only thing the venue will give them. Right. So you see these cool bands from when they were younger with Pabst Blue Ribbon, you know, and then like – But that was purely a functional thing is what you're saying. Yeah, exactly. The way, like, you know, I remember doing it, too. Like, you know, I had, like, little punk rock buttons.

But, like, I saw a guy with, like, you know, one instead of a button on his shirt. And I did that. And then, like, I realized, like, oh, it's just, like, it was a quick fix. Right. Because he's on tour. And now it's a fashion statement. And now it's a fashion statement. And now it's a fashion statement. And these are people in bands.

These are artist types. These are people that are making stuff. And that's why they dress this way. That's why they act this way. And that's why they are the way they are. And then like the culture of what people call hipsters or the ironic culture, they have taken that as just a fashion statement and live the life like an artist. So you talk to so many people I hear. They're living the life like they're going out to drinking at bars and they're doing these crazy things and they're playing dodgeball.

They're acting like they're living this artist lifestyle. But are they artists? No. They have no idea what they want to do. Right. And they don't do anything. They don't provide. I'll let someone – people let Michael Jackson pretty much like, you know, touch kids because he made something.

He made something good for us to give him. It's like, yeah. To go do that. And that's the thing. That's like, you know, that's I think maybe the weird driving force behind being an artist. Like I could be like a crazy asshole. Have you seen Moonwalker? He turned into a spaceship.

If he wants to put his finger in a butt he turned into a spaceship to destroy Danny DeVito if I'm remembering that correctly am I? when you hear those you hear about someone he's kind of an asshole he kind of always hits on teenage girls

and you're like ah that fucking sucks but it's a good band he's in a good band band's good but that's the thing Ah, it fucking sucks, but, you know, it's a good band. He's in a good band. Band's good. But that's the thing. Maybe he lent his name to a shitty sensory deprivation store. But, yeah, so that's the weird thing about the whole, like, you know, at least hippies believed in something.

Yeah, there's at least that. Yeah, it's like, you know, these people are just, they're essentially nihilists, but they care about one thing in themselves. Image. at least that. to that what would it be oh i feel like maybe 2002 2003 yeah i'm gonna say because that's when vice magazine was like fucking at its peak yeah and that's like you know it's funny to that new york times article uh i subscribed to the vice tumblr and vice did a did an expose on the writer where it uh i don't know if it's a band she's currently in or if it's a band she was in but the band the writer of this article attacking irony was in some sort it's a band she was in. But the band, the writer of this article, Attacking Irony, was in some sort of real goofy band that did like only songs about literature. And, you know, they had banjos and they had little bow ties. And Vice did this like teardown of her posting all these goofy pictures from her band.

I'm like, oh, you guys felt attacked. Yes. You guys thought that was about you. And I guess it kind of was. But anyway. But that's like – so was that entire show, Nathan Barley. You have to check it out because it's all about – there's like – they work at a magazine that's basically Vice magazine. Oh, funny.

You were saying it's 2003. Yeah, I think I saw that same pattern of the people who were trying the hardest weren't the ones actually creating the things. Like you'd be at a party and, you know, a lot of Portland bands that have since blown up, like the Decembrists were playing at some warehouse show, and everybody is decked out in just the stereotypical early 2000s hipster regalia with like trucker caps and train conductor hats, whatever it is. Train conductor hat. Right? Yeah, I guess so.

I mean, that's like a Fidel Castro more. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that. Yeah. But what I'm saying is. Jonti page boy cap. Yeah, all those kind of things. But the people who would be.

I just distinctly remember being in line for beer and having the one guy who wasn't dressed conspicuously in any way. Just wearing a pretty plain shirt was Colin Malloy. Was the lead singer of the Decembrists. Everyone else is just out on the scene looking the part, but he's the one who's woodshedding. Shouldn't you be in the overalls? Yeah.

And he was just looking totally normal. He doesn't have anything to prove. He's actually making something of worth. Yes. Yeah. Exactly. Look at me. I'm like an artist

is pretty much what you could say about those people. And so the actual artist that they're so concerned on their art that they haven't had a second thought artist that they're so concerned on their art that they have, they haven't had a second thought about what they're wearing. Right. Guys, this has been a, this has been a, this has been a delightful, delightful run.

I think we, I think we were all very earnest. We took a, we took a time to cut the joke in a little bit. Did that make you feel okay? It didn't make me feel good. Are you worried about what people, are you worried about what the, what the AV club's going to say about it? It's like, uh, the least funny episode, the most earnest. Fuck you.

Get Jesse Thorne back in here. It positively went off the rails this week. All right, Splitsider. I love the fine folks at Splitsider. They have never said a negative thing about the podcast. We love them. But, you know, that's funny. I was kind of trying to wrap up and go to the next segment but i will make this is i think this is a funny

point about about comedians is that right i think this is the kind of person that you know that you would criticize for you know never being able to turn it off always joking around never taking anything seriously but it's it's weird i feel like with the advent of like the podcast and tumblr-ing and stuff like that that is supposed to be a little more confessional. I feel like comedians really take a lot of pride these days in being able to get serious. Like it's almost like, you know, it is almost like a little bit of a comedian badge of honor. It's like, hey, I can joke around, but on my podcast, I can get real. You know, it seems like that is something that people are consciously doing.

The new sincerity. Sure. If you will. Yeah, that is really, you know, but it's weird too because it's also turning podcasting and all that stuff is like, you know, it's turning all of us comedians into essentially just jam bands or guys that jam. You know, and it's like, you know, it's like we're guys that all do separate things comedically and artistically, but we're all getting together just to fucking just see what happens.

Yeah, yeah. Let's just get in there. Just roll the tape. Roll the tape. All right. Let's see what comes out. You know. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang,

you got this. Well, hey, we'll be back with some more jams. Get out there to the chill out tent. Stay hydrated, everybody. We'll be back on Jordan, Jesse, go. Hey there, podcast listeners. Just wanted to break in one more time to thank our sponsor, audible.com. Support for Jordan, Jesse, go! comes from Audible.com, a provider of digital audiobooks and more,

with more than 100,000 downloadable titles across all types of literature, including fiction, nonfiction, and periodicals. Audible suggests that Jordan, Jesse, Go! listeners might enjoy They Call Me Baba Booey by Gary DeLaBate and Chad Millman, or My Mother Was Nuts, a memoir by Penny Marshall. For a free audiobook of your choice and a free 30-day trial membership, go to audiblepodcast.com slash jjgo. That URL, once again, audiblepodcast.com slash jjgo.

Jesse Thorne here, proprietor of MaximumFun.org. Look, we had a great time in the Poconos and everything, but there's no way we are forgetting about our annual trip to Lake Arrowhead here in Southern California. So, unless the world ends first by Mayan prophecy, MaxFunCon West will be held May 31st through June 2nd, 2013. Join us for a showcase of elite stand-up comedy performers in the woods, plus informative classes and talks from some of the best creative minds in the nation. If you've been to MaxFunCon before, get ready to reunite with your old friends. And if you're

a first-timer, get ready to make a whole ton of new ones. Registration is now open at MaxFunCon.com. So act fast. MaxFun Con pretty much always sells out. We don't expect this year to be any different. Remember, go to MaxFunCon.com. Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. Andy Wood, man at large. Jonah Ray, larger men.

God, you guys are good at that. God, you guys. Fuck, man. You guys need to give nickname lessons because we've had some lovely people in here. I've mentioned this, but you've really been letting us down. You know what it is? It's probably that good mix of comedians being sincere. Yeah.

So we're dedicated to doing it right. Sure. We're not going to step outside and go, ugh, it's just Jonah Ray. Right? Sorry I don't have a nickname. Okay, yeah, I'm just not kind of that guy. Oh, yeah, I'm Jonah Slappy Pappy Ray or whatever. Yeah.

Then you make a fart sound. From time to time, people like to give us a call at 206-984-4FUN, 206-984-4FUN. And from time to time, we like to play those telephone calls on our air and comment on them. Now is one of those times. Brian, can you roll the first call? Hi, JJ Goh. This is Garrison from Iowa. I'm a rural mail carrier.

And I just saw a dog carrying some kind of animal head right along the road. And I would have been horrified, but the dog just looked so happy. It was, I guess, a moment's occasion. Bye. Well, I think as a mail carrier, he was glad that the dog was preoccupied because dogs and mailmen do not get along. I don't know if you guys have heard. No love lost between those two. I'd like to hear the milkman's response to that one.

Animal head. I wonder what kind of animal it was. Yeah, me too. I would have investigated because it could have been a doll head. It could have been like, you know, a Wonder Mutt from summer school situation where it's just like a little doll head. I don't understand that reference at all. Oh, really? Wonder Mutt from summer school.

Really? The movie Summer School with Mark Harmon? I've seen the movie, but I just forgot the details of it. Yeah, the dog, Wonder Mutt. Man, I have a feeling that this is also why I'm marrying the girl. I've never met anyone else besides Deanna that knew the movie as much as I did. That's why this past Halloween, I was Chainsaw and she was Dave from the movie. And if you don't get that reference. Nope.

It's such a good movie. It was directed by Carl Reiner. I didn't know that. It was? I didn't know that. Well, there you go. I mean, sounds like you made a good that reference. Nope. It's such a good movie. It was directed by Carl Reiner. I didn't know that. It was? I didn't know that. Well, there you go. I mean, sounds like you made a good choice then. I did.

Is that an official Jordan Jesse Goh recommendation then? Yeah, I'd say. I don't know how much of it is nostalgia making me say these things. I'll take that test. Maybe one of those that's best not looked into. Summer School, is that best not revisited? I don't know. Okay.

Yeah. Courtney Thorne-Smith when she was at her cutest. Ooh. Okay. Andy, I guess I don't know if you have pets. Jonah, you have dogs, right? I have one dog and a cat. Okay.

Oh, nice. Andy, pets? We have communally in that strange house where I live with the pullout back. There are four of us. Jesse Case, another comedian, lives there. And then two other older gentlemen. Gentlemen of leisure? Gentlemen of us. Jesse Case, another comedian, lives there. And then two other older gentlemen. Gentlemen of leisure? Gentlemen of leisure.

One a former soap opera actor, one a furniture salesman. And they have a dog and a cat. And the cat has been known from time to time to bring us presents in the form of dead birds. Okay. Yeah, I was wondering if your guys' pets ever murder and how you felt about that. My cat will go for bugs, which is fine by me. Yeah. He seems like he wants to murder us most of the time.

Yeah. Just looks at you sideways. He's kind of an asshole. The dog, too fat to do anything. Okay. His legs get belly rubs. So, yeah, it's fine. It's fine.

Well, terrific. Brian, why don't you play that next call? This is Julia from Minneapolis calling with a momentous occasion. I just accepted a full-time job as a librarian nearly six years after getting my master's degree. So if you're thinking about library school, don't do it, Max Funsters. Don't do it. But I'm really excited to be finally fully employed. Woo-hoo!

It sounded like it was raining where she was at. You hear the wipers? Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. I was so horrified that it would be like, so I'm finally in. Oh, my God! Jonah, you're a regular whistler from the movie Sneakers. Does everyone get that? See, people get my references, Jonah.

I don't get it. Oh, okay. But thank you for laughing, though. You're more polite than me. Clearly. You laughed at mine. I thought I heard the L train in the background. That's what made me think Dr. Richard Kimball might be in Chicago.

We're going by auditory clues. Who else has got an L? We've got an L. Yeah. But congratulations, Julia. That's great. That's terrific. I hate to keep bringing it back here and I know I do regularly and I should probably be ashamed of myself.

But I recently read some sort of study about how many librarians have had sex in their libraries and it is astonishing. Really? I don't remember the exact number but think about the percentage you think it would be. It's way more than that. I don't know. If I had the ability to, I would. Yeah, I guess I would too. Because it's also like, is it after hours

or is it during when they're open? Because then you have to be extra stealthy because it's quiet. Yeah, right? You have to have very quiet sex. This leads me to the question. I'm a listener to the program. Is library school or are, in fact,

libraries not fuck fests? this be a fuck that is a great question because jonah for your benefit uh we've been talking on the show about like a subculture to get involved with that can be a fuck fest but also isn't really embarrassing uh i guess yeah i guess librarian is like super respectable like nobody will scoff at you so you say i'm going to librarian school right um and yeah maybe it is like law school where it's so intense and somebody last week said law school was a real fuck fest but we thought that maybe the cost of law school wasn't worth outweighed the fuck fest that would go along with it yeah isn't it just college yeah i didn't go, but I assume.

Yeah. It wasn't for me, but one presumes it is for some other people. Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is a fuckfest, but I guess once you get more specialized and once it gets more intense in one direction, the fuckfest becomes – it grows exponentially. the fuck fest becomes – it grows exponentially. And then you've got all that sexual – you've got all that repressed sexual energy in the form of hairs done up in buns and glasses that can come off to let somebody suddenly reveal their true beauty. Yeah. Become more comely.

And I guess I do know two female librarians and I would call both of them unassumingly sexy. And I don't know if – no, I'm going to make a firm stance on this. Yes, both of them are unassumingly sexy. So I think that, yeah, maybe that is just part of it. Yeah, I know one girl is a librarian but she's also a roller derby girl. Oh, boy. That seems fitting. Yeah, that's appropriate.

It seems like those are two twin interests. Yes. Those were both choices driven by the glasses she already had. It was like, well, I guess now I have to do both things. There's only a few hobbies I can have. There's only a few professions I can have. My health plan only covers one pair a year, so I've got to find something to do for 11 months. Brian, let's hear the next call.

Hi, Jordan, Jesse Goh. This is Erin calling from Vancouver with a momentous occasion double whammy. This weekend I was at a party and around party closing time at 3 a.m. I took a lovely gentleman and a lovely lady to bed, which would mean it was my first time with a lady and my first threesome. So pretty great evening. Have a good one. Holy shit. Wow.

What the fuck do you got listening? What kind of people was in the show? I don't know. Cool people, I guess. I guess like super cool dudes. My God. If a guy called into the Nerdist, he'd be like, hey, a girl talked to me. Confetti drop.

Yeah. I just translated the secret language in Futurama. Oh, wow. One sign says slurm. Do you think – slurms McKenzie. Do you think that is an easy way to get in – like say like we were to experiment with a guy. Would it be an easier like transition by having a threesome with a girl and a guy? Because that's essentially like she had never done anything with a girl, but she did with a guy being there.

Oh, so you're saying – so Jonah, hypothetically, if you were to do some gay stuff, you would – you're saying you would want to buffer it with a male-female threesome and then maybe you could move on to just you and the fella. Well, I think that's a good way to just kind of check it out because just like you know yeah when's another time because that's like you know that's like a one like you know one foot in the pool kind of situation where it's uh you're just kind of you're there yeah and there's a there's another naked guy when when are you going to have another opportunity another next to another naked guy like that in a sexual uh environment but then there's a girl there so you do you know if you don't want the guy … Yeah. The girl's got … Sure. There's something else.

The girl's got enough holes. Yeah. It's like – it's not going to be like – I'm just sitting around. No, you're right. We'll hear it. Well, I'll bring in the parallel from my own life and I think that – I see what you're saying but I think that it is very socially uncomfortable. I mean I am – I have a couple that I am friends with and I am friends with them individually. I went to went to college with the with the female of the couple and the guy I know

is a very nice guy. We both like a lot of the same video games. So like, you know, we would like to hang out. But I have a hard time asking just one of them to hang out. It's weird. I always feel like when I do like an email about I'm doing this, who wants to hang out? I feel obligated to include both of them even if I know that they both won't like the activity. I'm like, well, I have to include both of them because – They come as an item. Right, right. They're a couple and if it gets back to them that, oh, should we go to Jordan's thing? Oh, I didn't get that email. Then I'm on a shit list. I can't imagine if I was to invite just one of them to fuck after having fucked both of them. Yeah. That would be so uncomfortable. That would be.

Oh, hey, do you want to go fuck Jordan later? Oh, he didn't want to fuck me. I didn't get that email. Yeah. Do you just want to? I mean, oh, I'm sure he meant to invite you. I'm sure if you come along. It's assumed.

You can just come. Yeah. If you come with me, I'm sure it won't be weird. But what if he just wanted to fuck? Oh, never mind. I'm staying home. come along. It's assumed. You can just come. Yeah. If you come with me, I'm sure it won't be weird. But what if you just wanted to fuck? Ugh. Never mind. I'm staying home. Because that does happen.

There will be times where I'm like, hey, our friends are having a party. And I'm like, oh. I didn't get a text or an email. Oh, yeah. Jonah, are you the go-to in your couple? Do people just invite you? No, it's pretty equal. OK.

That's nice. Most of our friends will give us both a text. Sometimes it will go to her. Sometimes it will go to me. It's pretty equal. Okay, that's nice. You know, like most of our friends will give us both a text. Sometimes it will go to her. Sometimes it will go to me. You know, it's good. It's nice and balanced. Have you guys ever gone through your list of coupled up friends and made note of which ones when you mention the couple are male name first and which ones are female name first? No, no, I haven't.

Because they're pretty consistent. Like I feel like I have groups of friends where in the circle one couple is is always female, male name, and that doesn't change depending on who's saying it. Like it's like a – what's the word? It's a contagious thing within the social circle. That's what that couple is known as. And it seems like it's tradition to have the couple be male name first. And the times when it's female first, if you look at the dynamic in that couple, it makes sense why it is. Yeah, it's sort of interesting.

So what are you saying? So you think it's the most dominant? The most dominating personality kind of in the mix. Interesting. I'm not trying to make any grand statements about gender or anything. But it's interesting because I have – All right. Climb back in your deprivation tank there.

Listen, guys. There's a lot of good things you can find out about yourself. You can just let yourself get out of your own way, man. Why do we have to have male and female bathrooms? Come on. Why can't it be? I was going through the list in my head, and I think it's mostly guys named beforehand. But there is a couple here and there that like – it's almost because it just sounds better that way.

It could be also that. Sometimes the meter of it just works out better. Yeah, because I have a friend, a couple, Kate, and then there's Dave Klock, and so we just go Kate and Klock. I mean that sounds like a hard-boiled detective team. Maybe one is a little by the book and one is kind of dangerous. Yeah, which one is which? Who knows? It's different every time.

Oh, yeah. Sometimes. Tick tock. You just got clocked. Yeah. By Kate. Yeah. She's the hard-edged one that will punch you.

I know. My name is Clock and it's tick tock. I'm sure. I'm sorry. This must be very confusing to you. But I'm very by the book. Let's start clockwork. I'm very by the book.

I like clockwork. Boy, yeah. I mean I have a lot of questions about this threesome thing. I mean I feel like I want to – because, yeah, you're at a party. It's not like this was something that they planned ahead of time on like a website or something like that. It's true. God, I wonder what that – because I feel like I know like when you are in a group and you want to sleep with someone, like, you know, you don't say, let's go back to my house and fuck.

It's something like, you know, do you want to go back and watch a movie? Yeah, yeah. Should we get another drink? Should we get another drink at my place? Like there's these things that, you know, it's a – Right, scams, you know, tricks. Yeah, yeah. You know, fooling a girl into sex.

You guys know about that, right? Is there another way? But, you know, it is a not too subtle code. I wonder if you have to do that with both of them or is there a not too subtle code for threesome? Is there like, so should all three of us go back

and watch role models? By the way, that's the movie, guys. You want to get a girl into the sack. Ten minutes into role models. I think that if they were probably you know, she met them and they were all just kind of joking around, talking and getting drunk. And then they probably like – it's like then they start – maybe like – clearly the couple is set for something like that. Yeah. Something that was convinced.

So it could have easily been the couple is like, let's fucking try and find someone to fuck tonight. Yeah. Maybe that was part of it. And she was the one that was brought into the web. She was the one who had seen the most Mark Harmon movies. And she was not the one who should have called as a momentous occasion because it's not that great of a feat for her. The man of the threesome is the one who really should have called it. He's the one who overcame insurmountable odds to make this thing happen.

Well, he's in a three-week coma right now. I hear that after a threesome, a man goes into a three-week coma. Yeah, I don't know how I would do it. There's that old joke. It's like, how am I supposed to divvy up the five minutes that I'm able to have sex? I just don't know. It seems like a lot of pressure to keep people entertained. Especially if you're with one of them.

Unless that one's like – I would just wait. It's like if – me and my girlfriend – this would never happen. But me and my girlfriend were threesome, I would just be like, what do you want me to do to her? What do you not want me to do to her? I won't kiss her. I won't kiss her. I won't tell her she looks pretty. I won't tell her she looks pretty when I have sex like I do to her. Like, you know, like I won't kiss her. I won't kiss her. I won't tell her she looks pretty.

I won't tell her she looks pretty when I have sex like I do with you. You need to like break out paperwork ahead of time just to have – It sounds like you would have to be a really elaborate contract. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, you're wondering how to make this happen. Evidently somebody here hasn't read The Game by Neil Strauss because I only read that book honestly because Jesse Thorne interviewed Neil Strauss on the show back in 2006.

I have also read the book. So I'm not a douchebag just for having read it. I only read the book because I wanted to get more pussy. Yeah, that's the only – it's OK. I'm not a douchebag. I just love pussy. But if you remember from that book – I don't remember the threesome technique.

I remember the funny Courtney Love stuff. That is crazy. Which was a mistake of me. I remembered the funny Courtney Love stuff. That is crazy. Which was a mistake of me. I remembered the wrong stuff. What you want to suggest to the two women is that there's a thing called dual induction massage. Wherein if one person is lying down getting a massage and two other people massage them symmetrically on opposite sides of the body, it creates some sort of amazing sensation. Like a force zone. Right. And it's all bullshit. But it's a way to have two girls rubbing you at the same time. body, it creates some sort of amazing sensation. Like a force zone.

Right. And it's all bullshit, but it's a way to have two girls rubbing you at the same time. It works in the world of the game. Wow. Again, I have not ever employed this. I just remember the book. Well, I mean, okay. So to our callers, we usually encourage you to be pithy. I think in this case, we would like to hear more about it.

No offense to you, dog with animal head mailman guy. Your story was great. But so, yeah, so we have questions. Caller, maybe give us an email, jjgoe at Maximum Fund. Brian, what's the email here? jjgoe at MaximumFund.org. If you would like to talk more about it, we have questions. jjgoe at MaximumFund.org. you would like to talk more about it, we have questions. jjgoe at MaximumFun.org.

Maybe there's a t-shirt in it for you. In any event, congratulations on that three-way. I bet it was great. We'll be right back on Jordan Jesse Go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, guys, thank you so much for being here. It's been a delightful episode. Good balance in jokes and sincerity, I think. I wouldn't call us. And movie references. And movie references. I wouldn't call us hipster shitheads at all.

I've got a mustache on right now, you guys. I've got a mustache. The elephant in the room. Andy Wood. Yes, Andy does have a mustache. Yeah, let's be clear that it's not me this time. Yeah, yeah. Andy, you have a terrific podcast,

Probably Science. That's the name of it. That's on the iTunes and in all your finer podcasting zones. And I do that with Matt Kirshen and Brooks Whelan and we have comedians on every week and go over the week's science news

because why not? You might as well. Got to go over something. We have science and engineering backgrounds. And sometimes Brooks reads directly from the Captain Cook biography that he's been reading. He's a fan of Captain Cook. He is. It's a delightful show.

I have been on. Jonah presumably will be on in the future. You have to be. I know. I've always had to be. It's a really hilarious, fun show. I can't recommend it highly enough. Anything else?

Any stand-up comedies you'd like people to come to in the near future? Nothing in the immediate future. But I would stress that if you guys could watch the show Love You Mean It. Oh, yeah. Sure. It'll keep you employed. Wednesdays at 1030. It's really funny. Yeah. Jonah Ray, of course, on the Nerdist podcast and the really, really cool new podcast, Jonah Ray Dio. Yes, Jonah Ray Dio. Dio hasn't made it yet. But yeah, it's I've had friends on. It's with Cash Hartzell and Neil Mahoney. Cash Hartzell was the producer on X-Play and Neil Mahoney was the director of the

UCB movie Freak Dance. So it's the three of us and we have a friend come over and we talk about music. It's just like jokey rock talk kind of stuff, but we also play bands that send in their music. Yeah, no, I think it's a pretty good source of new bands. Like I checked out a couple bands from the episodes I listened to. Yeah, and it's really awesome. And like some of the bands have even said, people came to our show saying they heard us.

Wow, that's great. Yeah, and that's great. And that's a cool part of it. And if you're in a band – remember, this is not – no recommendations. That's a lot of things I'm saying again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No recommendations. This is not – no recommendations.

That's a lot of things I'm saying again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No recommendations. If you make the music, if you're a rapper or a singer or at a band, email me your band camp link or a song you want me to listen to at jonahradio, J-O-N-A-H-R-A-Y-D-I-O at gmail.com. Or if you have a record you want me to listen to, you can send it to Meltdown Comics, care of Jonah Radio. There you go. I recommend if you were to just download one episode, you did a great episode with John Bowie. Yeah, John Ross Bowie, former punk rocker, now an actor on The Big Bang Theory. Terrific.

It's a great episode. Also, the craziest episode, though, I think is the episode with Lance Bangs. Oh, yeah. Legendary Lance Bangs. He tells only two stories. It's like an almost two-hour podcast. Yeah. Wow.

He tells two stories, and they're just both the most mind-bending like – and one of them he wasn't even going to get into. He's like, well, it's because he was married to Corinne Tucker from Slater-Kinney. And he was just like, oh, well, I was going around. We were going back and forth and then I almost died in this plane crash. And then when I got there, we're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. And he's like – he tells this amazing story yeah that has like a whole like spiritual like you

know like I think you know it's great that's a good episode to Jonah radio any any live stuff in the future people should go look at tomorrow ish tomorrow okay well Tuesday night my episode of mashup on Comedy Central will be on oh cool you'll get to see me do stand-up and then the visualizations

off of that so it's, it's TJ Miller hosting, and it's me and Tom Segura, who's a great, great comic. Nice. So, yeah, tune into that or, you know, look up a video and post it on your Tumblr. I don't know. What?

Something with Tumblr assholes. Yeah, yeah. A couple of live things on my end. If you are listening to this before Wednesday night, Wednesday night, I think it's the 28th, my sketch group, Up, Up, Up, is going to be going at UCB at 8 o'clock. It should be a very good show. December 6th, I'm going to be doing a stand-up at a cancer benefit at the Westside Theater, the Westside Comedy Theater. That also has Greg Fitzsimmons, also has David Koechner.

It should be a very good show. It's a good show. It's a little pricey, but the money goes to a good cause. So the West Side Comedy Theater, that's December 6th. That's a Thursday. Good beer selection there. Is there? Yeah.

Oh, I haven't been there since I got their bar. Yeah. Okay. There you go. West Side Comedy Theater, good comedy show, good beer selection. And this Friday, I believe it's December 1st. I'm going to check very quickly on my phone to confirm that that's the truth

yes Saturday December 1st I'm going to be doing a show at BentCon in Burbank which is a gay lesbian sci-fi convention oh fun I know so I'm going to be hosting the tournament of nerds at BentCon on Saturday the 1st

if you are in Burbank and a fan of gay, lesbian, sci-fi stuff, please come on down to that and say hi. Nine o'clock. BentCon. Yeah. I think that's about the long and short of it. Thanks for listening. We'll talk to you next week on Jordan Jesse Go. Bye.