Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 271: Ricochet Pope with Nate DiMeo

Episode Date: April 15, 2013

The Memory Palace's Nate DiMeo joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of Segweys, jury duty and Gary Busey.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Beautiful day, not that beautiful day of a Los Angeles. It gets a little, uh, it's a little overcast. I'm enjoying it. Really? Yeah.

You find it puts a spring in your step? It kinda did. I, I, uh, had a nice walk around with a warm beverage today. Really? Yeah. What are you the spring in your step? It kind of did. I had a nice walk around with a warm beverage today. Really? Yeah. What are you talking about? A hot toddy? Is it coffee? Yeah.

I walked around getting drunk in public. Took a nice piss in a parking garage. I'd like it if you went everywhere with a thermos of hot toddy. You know, I do, when in party mode and I'm walking, I do fill up a little travel coffee cup with booze. Oh. It's a fun. Like the kind with the extra wide base so it doesn't spill over? A commuter mug?

No, no. It's just a paper cup that I can toss later. I would like to see you invest in, maybe you should donate to a public radio pledge drive in the late 1980s. Oh, and get a commuter mug. You can get that commuter mug. It's got the non-slip bottom. It's got the extra Y. It's extra wide at the base.

I like the idea of that. But just practically, I mean, we have to do something I can toss when I get to where I'm going. You're not driving? You should be driving. Oh, I should be drinking and driving. No, you're right. You're right. Yeah.

So the whole point is to stay stable on your dashboard. And even if it's something I can walk to, I should be drinking and driving. No, you're right. You're right. Yeah. So the whole point is to stay stable on your dashboard. And even if it's something I can walk to, I should probably drive there. Take the long way. Right. Take a scenic route and drink. Well, then you can leave it in the car. Oh, that's nice. Yeah.

And swerve as much as you want. It's not going to tip over. Uh-huh. Oh, this is funny. Speaking of – well, I have something about swerving. Do we want to bring our guest in? Let's bring our guest in. You know him as a member of the MaximumFun.org family, the host and creator of the Memory Palace podcast. He's also a writer for books and television and nominee for the Thurber Award in American humor.

Thurber. In American humor. James. James Thurber. That's right. Nate DeMeo. Hey, Nate. Hey, guys. It's great. Nate DeMeo. Hey, Nate. Hey, guys.

It's great to have you on the show. Yeah, when I'm walking around drinking, I like to have a gyroscopic cup. That's actually when the Segway was invented. The Segway guy was trying to make the perfect mobile booze vehicle. No, it's absolutely true. I think that that's pretty much because I was in public radio working when the Segway came out, and I was working for a show called, that is now called

On Point, and at the time was called Special Coverage from NPR after the attacks of September 11th. And so Dean Kamen was a, the guy who invented the Segway, was some sort of friend with our host, and he's like we got something it's going to be incredible

it's going to blow your minds the world is going to change so we're all expecting you know jetpacks cold fusion and it's the Segway and so we did an hour on the Segway and we just

like our earnest host almost as embarrassing as your hour on the Segway. We did an hour on the Segway. And just like our earnest host. Almost as embarrassing as your hour on New Coke. Yes, exactly. How it was going to revolutionize. It's absolutely true. Our hour was like, callers, what can you do with this thing? And people were like, I think we could probably travel in malls and sort of do security. And that's about as far as they got that day.

The film Battleship is posed to change cinema. Yes, exactly. That's really funny. It is funny. Yeah, and I guess I'm kind of remembering that initial segue coverage. People did think that people in cities were going to get around like that or at least that was the pitch. Yes, exactly. Which – and some of them do.

They are all horribly douchey. They were going to use them in warehouses to cut down distribution time. Is that something? Mailmen. Mailmen was a central part of the platform of the Segway, if I remember correctly. Yes. And I could actually – you could see that. But the mailman is sort of –

On any street in America today, you can see mailmen on Segways. Oh, you know, I guess – If you are drinking the toddy in your gyroscopic cup, eventually you'll get that. Oh, yeah. I wonder if drunk on Segway is a crime. Probably. You can't be drunk on a bike. You can't operate any vehicle drunk.

Yeah. I'm sorry, guys. Oh, yeah. I guess I brought up a few weeks ago on the show that I was walking and saw an incredibly handsome man on a Segway and it really threw me. Really? Yeah, because it seemed like, you know, handsome, well-dressed guy. Right. What are you doing on that Segway?

Did it change the way you felt about the Segway? It got me obsessed about – to be perfectly honest, I was obsessed with that guy's sex life and it seemed like i think the conclusion that we got to was that it was him kind of uh you know nerfing his own sexuality if you will like seeing seeing what he could do how repellent he could be and still get laid in the company of men type situation where two handsome rich men in a bar made a disgusting bet about how many women they could bed. And that was the handicap. It was the handicap. It was the hand tied behind the back.

Yeah. It's true. I believe that because otherwise there's no explanation. My swerve story, there's a guy who drives up and down Fairfax near my house. I guess drives. He rides a bike. He's on like a big mountain bike and he's always dressed all in army fatigues. And he will ride up and down the middle of this very busy street.

This is like an arterial street in Los Angeles. Dead middle of the street. Sure. Swerving back and forth on this mountain bike. And if he – if someone is walking on the sidewalk and he gets to them, he will swat at them King Kong style and yell. Really? Oh, I saw that guy downtown. Oh, wow.

I have never seen him off. I saw him downtown and I was – earlier this year I served on a murder trial as a juror. And he was one of the hazards of being a juror. Like you would – Oh, wow. Every once in a while. It happened like – This guy covers a lot of ground.

Covers a lot of ground. And he literally swerves. That's exactly right. And he flails like some – like Motra. He'd just walk around and go – like just – it's really something. Yeah. I don't think he – I've never seen him get close to anyone. Yes.

He more swats in your direction. He may have bad spatial perception. Or he's swatting at a ghost that just happens to be near you. It was really remarkable. And it is shockingly intimidating. Why do you think he has a mountain bike and not a road bike? Why he has anything at all is amazing. How does this man have anything?

How he has tied shoes is amazing. Yeah. But speaking of stuff this guy has, I saw him today. I hadn't seen him in a while. I saw him on the road today. And he, same army garb, army fatigues, but he had one of those like reflective crossing guard vests. Oh, for safety. Yeah.

He's made a move in the direction of safety. He had the exact same thing. And he actually had a reflective bandolier. Oh, wow. Oh, that's no good. No, a thing to keep bullets in. It's not what this guy should have. He had a reflective blunderbuss.

Yes, exactly. He's going to go on a safari with Penny Roosevelt. But the guy is, like, shockingly sort of terrifying because he, like, he moves it out. Yeah, it's totally terrifying. And he is constantly, like, he's swerving toward you. He may stop eight feet away from you, but he's absolutely swerving toward you, swerving toward like business ladies on their way to lunch in Little Tokyo. And it was problematic. Did you – now, let's talk about your jury.

Sure. Nate. Yes. Nate, so had you ever been on a jury before? Let's talk about your jury. Sure. Nate. Yes.

Nate, so had you ever been on a jury before? When I was in college, I went down to my mailbox at my dorm for the first day, and there was a jury sentence. And then, like, yeah, so, like, three months later, I went down to the Santa Barbara courthouse. I went to UC Santa Barbara for two years. And I served on a trial that lasted three hours. And we heard evidence from this guy who robbed a Fava. Remember the old shoe chain? Fava?

Fava? F-A-Y-V-A? It was a popular shoe selling chain store back in the 80s, and it was dying by the early 90s. And the only thing we had to decide was whether the guy brandished his gun in a threatening manner. So we went inside. We went and we deliberated. It was literally like, the guy had a gun. It's pretty threatening. Guilty.

Yeah. And I was like, hey, don't panic. I just want to show you the gun. Have a gun. It's here threatening. Yeah. And I was like, hey, don't panic. Just want to show you the gun. It's here. Exactly. So, I mean, the truth is I had a gun. So, yeah. So, like, I went to jail.

And that was one of the first things I did in college was send a man to prison. I was on a jury in San Francisco. It was a civil jury that took, like, two weeks. I was totally broke. It was just horrible. Two weeks. I was totally broke. It was just horrible. But the thing that I remember most vividly is on the jury was this guy who was like a stout 50-ish year old guy, like a guy that Dave Koechner would play a comic version of, who was in a wheelchair, like a motorized wheelchair, and wore a suit and tie and was very stern. And it turned out that he was a career prosecutor. I'm surprised he got in the jury.

I know. Well, I mean, I guess it was a civil jury. But he was, it was like, it was the only time I've ever felt like I was living in the same world as a character from Law & Order. Like he was so self-parodic. Like the way he would like wheel around aggressively on his wheelchair and like bella things at us. You know these lawyers are just trying to take you, right? Did he have kind of a southern twang?

Yeah, he had a southern twang. And then later I saw him at – and the case did not go his way. And he just capitulated because he was sick of this shit. That's how most justice gets done. Yeah, he goes, if y'all want to give that girl that money, well, I'm not going to stand in your way. I want to give that girl that money, well, I'm not going to stand in your way. I want to go home. And anyway, so like three months later, I saw him at a gas station just getting some gas. And I was terrified of him. I realized.

Was he swerving towards you going, ah, in the wheelchair? I was. Bandolier. Gl, in the wheelchair? I was. Bandolier, glow-in-the-dark bandolier. Genuinely, like I thought he might remember that he was on the jury with me and that he would remember that I was on the side of a settlement for this woman whose back was injured at work

or it was a taxi cab accident and that he would hit me. I was worried he would hit me. I was worried he would hit me. Run you over? He might run me over. You know, my dad's best friend was in a chair and was like a famous disability rights advocate. One of the most, probably the most famous disability rights advocate. He would run people over with his chair all the time.

Because he knew, like, what the fuck are you going to do? Punch a guy who's almost completely paralyzed? But on the other hand, he's driving this death machine, like a thousand pound electric wheelchair. He would just run into people. Like, he'd be yelling at someone and just run his chair into them. The question about juries. I've never been on a jury before. I have two good friends who have met long-term significant others on juries.

Now, it would seem that maybe, you know, there's kind of a foxhole thing that's going on there. Like, it brings you together. Did you guys find your juries particularly erotic? It depends if you're turned on by angry men. Yes, 12 of them to be exact. No. And in fact, what was interesting is I think that, you know, my grandmother served in a jury once and it was like the best thing she ever did. Right.

Like she loved it. Like she retired. She was like it was the greatest thing. She mismarpled it. She like got to be some sort of like, you know, – she helped put a criminal in jail and she loved it. Oh, wow. Yeah, I guess the main audience for your Law & Orders is the elderly. So I guess to them it is like being inside a fantasy.

No, I mean my parents are both retirees at this point. You know, like their dream is to get on a jury because giving something to do instead of my dad right now while I'm here putting together the IKEA bed. But, you know, it was interesting because like I like the way she described it. She's like, and it was so nice. Like we would we every day we would have lunch together. We walk down to the diner and I get my coffee and it was just wonderful. And so I'm like, oh, I got this trial. The trial lasted for weeks.

And I don't I didn't talk to anyone because everyone has their smartphones. Wow. Yeah. They're like – it was just – there was no sort of interaction until we got into the jury room. I got summoned to be – You just compare Fruit Ninja scores. Yeah, pretty much. I got summoned to be in the jury pool here in Los Angeles about two years ago and I was in this jury pool and the shit people will say in that room is just astonishing.

There were two things that astonished me. One, how many people were trying to be racist to get out of it? Yes. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. And number two, the fact that in my jury pool was Tim and Eric star David Liebehart. Oh, wow. Who is, if you want to know what kind of guy Tim and Eric star David Liebelhard is

you know him as the African American puppeteer who sings the songs about space aliens that's what he is not an actor no he's not

not necessarily an actor yeah his acting does not involve a personal transformation choice yes a choice that he's made

is that what he told the judge when asked what he does for a living he talked about that he's made. Is that what he told the judge when asked what he does for a living? He talked about that. He talked about the stuff. And he didn't think that it was going to disqualify him from the jury. He was not trying to get off the jury. Sure. Yeah, exactly.

He thought it would be great to be on the jury. What? Did he get selected? Or did they say, hmm? I think the judge kicked him off. I think it was one of those things where the judge looked at the two lawyers and they were like, come on, this is a crazy person. This is obviously an insane person. It seems like that would be a really fun jury would be the jury made up of perhaps mentally ill but still delightful celebrities.

Like let's get Tommy Wiseau in there. You know, celebrities like get let's get Tommy Wiseau in there. Just any kind of person who maybe shouldn't. We shouldn't maybe encourage to create things. We should maybe get them help, but still like to anyway. What's the famous man that was in the motorcycle accident? He was in Point Break. Gary Busey.

Yeah, Gary Busey. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you know, maybe we shouldn't be pointing cameras at Busey at this point. I watched a few minutes of Celebrity Apprentice with Busey. Was Busey on Celebrity Apprentice? Yes, he was. I don't think I could – I don't think I would enjoy watching an episode of Celebrity Apprentice. But I do enjoy the promos for Celebrity Apprentice where they will just like every promo ends with like a crazy saying from Busey. I do enjoy those. Yeah, it was – because he's a full-on crazy person. He like a crazy saying from Busey. I do enjoy that.

Yeah, it was it was, you know, because he's a full on crazy person. He's a professional crazy person at this point. And and he was also the captain of the team. All I gathered was he was the captain of the team and he was somehow giving. Well, they were going to have Penn Jillette do it. But then everybody was like, oh, we can't give that guy more power. It was literally that asshole is just going to start talking about how God doesn't exist. Everybody's a sheep.

And it actually, it was Busey giving Gillette orders while Lisa Rinna danced. From what I understand, based on the, based on the apprentice promo I saw during last week's Parks and Rec, it seems like Busey will sit in for – like it's Trump in some episodes. Busey will replace Trump. Seriously? Yeah. And he'll just give the orders. Really?

In the fire and fire? I think so. That's tremendous. I hope that's true. Me too. Is Busey like a cast member of the show? Yeah. No, he's a contestant.

Do they – I think. Don't they change that – but does – No, this is All Stars. Yeah, they do like – they do All Stars. Yeah, this is All Star. And so this is – Aren't they All Stars? But Star Amongst Stars. Yeah, they do all-stars. Yeah, this is all-star. And so this is- Aren't they all-stars?

But star amongst stars. Yes, because which light shines brighter than Gary Busey? Yeah. A Busey-like figure. Sure. Like, you know, you got a choice when you're looking to fill it out. You can get, you know, you can get Busey or you can get, you know, Playboy's Playmate of the Year 1998. Yes.

Or whoever. Strangely, also Gary Busey. Oh, I remember finding that in Dad's sock drawer. The Busey. There's a lot of self-abusing. Sure. Yep. The girls of Gary Busey.

It's just Gary Busey in different wigs. Riding a jet ski. Riding a Segway. Bailing hay on a farm. Different context. It is so funny to think how tame Playboy is now versus how naughty it seemed when we were kids. It is just topless women hanging out doing pretty wholesome things. It's sort of disappointing.

I don't enjoy looking at it. Yeah. Is that okay? Like now? Yeah. Yeah, now it does. It's sort of weird. Yeah, it feels weird.

It feels more like kitschy. It's like, is this for gay guys? That's like what I think when I look at a playboy. Is this a prop for, right. Yeah, it seems so of an air. You know, it's like watching an episode of Saved by the Bell or something. Like you wouldn't be entertained by it, but you'd be like, huh, look at this thing. Everything seems sort of overlit.

What I feel like is I feel like I'm watching a Canadian sitcom or something. Right, yeah, yeah. Everything is wrong about the production values of the thing. Sure, absolutely. I mean, but the thing is, it seems like Playboy is in this weird nether land between, like, they could go full-on Kitsch or, like, full-on Mad Men-y something, but it's in this, like, weird, like, space that, like, barely seems to exist in the culture

where it's, like, they're taking itself super seriously. But also essentially having the mental level of FHM. Yeah, right. Exactly. It would be fun to do a super classy AMC Presents Playboy. Well, you know, I just was in New York last week and on the flight back I read this big Chris Jones profile of Hugh Hefner in Esquire. And, you know, there's a chock full of great details about the mansion and Hef and a lot of things that you both

know, but it felt very lived in. It was a cool profile. But one of the things that Hef is still in control over at the magazine is he curates the jokes. Wow. That's his big... The Playboy's Party jokes. That's his territory. That's the thing he still holds on to.

That's Hef's page. That's right. Leave it be. Yeah, hands off the gadget guide, Hef. Get us the, yeah, bring us the most ribald party jokes you possibly can. No, I mean, my dad subscribed when I was a kid, so it was, you know, it was a part of my early jack-off life. It was also part of being a classy gentleman. Sure, which my dad was, undeniably.

Is that why you're still so into jazz? Right, yeah. Cannonball Adderley, when he comes to the Playboy Jazz Festival every year, I get my picnic basket full of Chablis, head up to Monterey. In a lot of ways, Playboy really is the intersection of Cannonball Adderley and Cannonball Run. That's kind of what defines it. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Hello, I'm Judge John Hodgman.

And I'm bailiff Jesse Thorne. Can you force your girlfriend to listen to heavy metal music? Is a machine gun a robot? Is it okay to take coupons out of the garbage if you're Canadian? What should you do if your parrot attacks your husband? Can you prove that Crank 2 is a good movie? Only one man can decide. Judge John Hodgman.

If you have a case for the judge's court, visit MaximumFun.org slash JJ Ho. If you just want to listen in, find us on the web or free in iTunes. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you DiMeo from the Memory Palace. Great to have you on the show, Nate DiMeo from the Memory Palace. It's lovely to be here. Hey, how about this? Nate DiMeo, who wrote his own episode of the Parks and Recreation television program that I watched. Yeah, it's the truth. You know what I did? Which one?

What happened? Anne first decided she wanted to have a baby. Oh, great. Okay. That was predetermined that that was coming up in the season, right? That wasn't your creation? No, I just felt it. You're like, guys, I know I'm a first-time writer. That was predetermined that that was coming up in the season, right? That wasn't your creation. No, I just felt it. You're like, guys, I know I'm a first-time writer.

That's right. I'm getting one of your characters pregnant. That's right. Is that cool? Adam Scott's character will die in this episode. That's right. Just make a bunch of crazy changes. Yes, yes.

I came in and I said, here's what's happening. Okay, great. Yeah. Fun. Worked it all out. Nate DiMeo is a Thurber nominee, Jordan. Thurber finalist, technically. Thurber finalist, technically. Thurber finalist.

DiMeo scored a Thurber. Who'd you get beat by? Oh, Calvin Trillin. It was bound to happen. For one of those little books of doggerel verse? No, even worse. It was, this is where I go off on Calvin Trillin. I'll go off on Calvin Trillin.

I'll save you the trouble. It was 40 years of collected Calvin Trillin. I'll go off on Calvin Trillin. I'll save you the trouble. It was 40 years of collected Calvin Trillin. That's no fair. I agree. He gets to build his shit up over the course of 40 years. Exactly. You get a licensed book. No, that's – I mean, you know, it is like – it's the equivalent of Lovely Man, blah, blah, blah.

But it is the equivalent of, you know, when when Martin Scorsese finally gets his final thing. It's the scent of a woman. It's the scent of a woman, Oscar. Well, we can only hope he dies soon. Soon some young upstart is going to be bitching about losing out to the collected works of DeMeo. Of course. 40 years of DeMeo. You course. 40 years of DeMeo. You got to start writing doggerel verse.

That's the key to Trillin's late career success. Doggerl verse about George W. Bush. I think you've got it in you. I'm going to go home and work on it. See if you can come up with a few gags about those paintings he's been making of himself in the shower. Those are funny. The shower. Those are funny. The paintings. They are funny.

The paintings is one of those things that like, it's one of those things that, you know, in our current, you know,

Twitterverse, et cetera, I kind of can't believe that that thing, that the George W. Bush hacking and paintings exist and like the world didn't explode.

Yeah. Like it's something like the news moves too fast. We didn't stop to like the world didn't explode. Yeah. Like it's something like the news moves too fast. We didn't stop to remember that. We didn't linger on that. Freaking crazy. It's so magical, I think. I think that's sort of the central thing is that it is such a magical thing that there's no way to guild that lily and have it come out better.

No, it's true. Yes. You can just present them and say look at that yes there's no yeah but but but as a culture we do not bathe in the pleasures of of uh right of you know paintings of inbathing that's true yeah no it's true i mean it's one of those things that like for for a hot second was all over the internet and usually when the internet you know in mass thinks something is funny, I roll my eyes a little bit because it usually isn't. But I'm like, you know what?

I'm with you on this BuzzFeed. This is great. It's true. But I felt like, I felt like collectively we didn't know what to do with it beyond being like, oh, wow, look at that. Well, because part of the problem is it's really great. It's a great thing for him to be doing. Maybe we don't want to discourage him.

Yeah. I mean, I think for our nation's joke and jibesters, they may collectively have not had a high opinion of the George W. Bush presidency. I think that might be true. I'm not. I don't think I'm going too far. As a person who does a little bit of history. Now, look, PJ O'Rourke may disagree, but it's him and him alone. So they may not have had a high opinion.

Dennis Miller isn't a jibester? Okay, fair enough. I think of him more as a football commentator. Oh, sure. Right. As all the great comedians are i uh i have to say that like for those people i think the problem is that it it's too much like what you wish every former president would be doing like not that you rationally obviously you think they'd be you know helping with diplomacy or whatever, something important.

Right. But if they're not going to be doing that, which you assume they're not, what they're actually doing is, you know, making speeches where they get them paid a million dollars. Absolutely. And there is something immensely appealing about the idea of a former president who's of working age, just, you know, he's a 60-year-old man or whatever it is, you know, just hanging out working on painting. I know. That's so cool. And not taking classes, clearly.

No, not at all. Like, you know, it's the same sort of, you know, self-belief and self-delusion that vaunted him to the presidency and put his finger on the button. It's the same thing that has allowed him to make these paintings. They're actually kind of good. You should probably get Karl Rove to do the paintings for him, right, guys? Hey. Wow. It's also –

Jive's jiving going on right now. It's also – Sorry, guys. Just telling him like it is. It's also immensely charming in the same way that I think got him to presidency. Yeah, absolutely. It's kind of childlike. Yes, it's a childlike simplicity.

I think there are a few things that would be – I mean, granted, if I had found out that he had been entering state fair pie baking contests under a pseudonym. Right. Like that's the only thing I can think of that I would be more charmed by than those paintings. Yes, exactly. It's true. Would you be more charmed if he were winning? Or if he were simply... I like the idea of George Bush getting, like,

the participation ribbon or, like, fifth place. I like... There is something to it. Second or third. I'm going second or third. No, I think I'm more charmed with the idea of, like, if he was, you know, putting these pies in under, like, the name Skip Feldman or something. No, I think I'm more charmed with the idea of like if he was, you know, putting these pies in under like the name Skip Feldman or something. Yeah.

I don't think he would choose Feldman. No, I know. He was just. He was like Ward G. Gush. But he was just like destroying like the southern state there. Gush. That's the stupidest thing anyone's ever said out loud.

It's like, you know, none of those are names, right? G is a little bit. You know, it's. Sorry, Nate. No, I just think it would be wonderful. I understand. G. Gosh.

I feel like I was talking to. I feel like that's how you can describe a good pie. I was talking to a comedy buddy of mine and we were talking about the kind of the legacy of Bill Clinton. We were like, wouldn't it be great if we could all just start making Bill Clinton jokes again? Because is there any funnier comedy concept like, you know, bare bones comedy concept? Is there anything funnier than horny president? No, there's not. Like horny president is about as funny a thing as there could be. But it's like I guess with George W. Bush, we had stupid president, which is maybe more fun,

like just as a thing to joke about, like the president being real dumb. No, I don't know. But I think that – but if you're just – like I feel like William Howard Taft by his nature of of his largest, I think is probably funnier. You're talking about Fat President? Yeah, I think Fat President is funnier than Dumb President. Okay, rank. I want both you guys to rank. Fat President, Dumb President, Horny President.

Okay, I'm going. I have to say, I disagree with you, Jordan. I say Horny President, number one. Fat President, number two dumb president number three yeah i'm gonna agree because is it because the president's depressing because yeah that's exactly why yeah because you're like oh shit but that's the president yeah i guess president i'm worried about the president like i'm worried about his health yeah i suppose whereas and also fat president like it would have to also fat president like, it would

have to be gluttonous president. You know, like just by his fatness alone. You know what I mean? You'd have to see like a photo of him like wolfing a corn on the cob or something. But then throw in a giant hoagie.

But then throw in Gerald Ford. And then you have clumsy president. Yeah, right. But then throw in Gerald Ford. And then you have clumsy president. Oh, yeah. Clumsy president is pretty funny. Clumsy president is pretty good. I think it's hard to – What about Nixon? Evil president.

Yeah. Suspicious president. But the beauty of Bill Clinton is not only was he a horny president, but he also got fat president. Yeah, he also got to be fat president a little bit too. He was just a man who loved the pleasures of life. Sure. He's a sensualist. He's a sensualist.

Exactly. A sensual. He's a regular Frenchman. Sure, exactly. He's a regular Gerard Depardieu. I would like to make a Clinton biopic that starts with Gerard Depardieu too. And have him do a weird southern accent where he doesn't know what he's saying. Right, exactly.

And they never age him down. You'd have to. what he's saying. Right, exactly. And they never age him down. You'd have to. So it's 1984. He's exactly as old as he is now. Yeah. But I guess you have to make it in Belgium or something because isn't Gerard Depardieu not welcome in various countries? He moved to Russia first. I think he moved first to Belgium and then to Russia.

Well, you can shoot Russia for Arkansas, right? I mean that. There's so many parts of Russia. That's one-to-one. Yes, exactly. Sure, you know, Toronto for New York. You hear about that a lot in the film industry. Absolutely.

Yeah. No, it's true. I think, yeah, Gerard Defleur, too. Moscow for Little Rock. Did he get in trouble in Belgium? And besides, like, with, like, too many freaks? He got... He's just really upset about taxes.

Right. And that carried him from one country to a second country to a third country. Right. Like he basically – once he moved, I think what happened – I'm recalling vague memories of a New Yorker article about this I read. Uh-huh. Which I read, by the way, because I looked at the picture and thought, who's this fat guy? And then saw the caption that it was Gerard Depardieu. You were in. And then I just laughed at his obesity for like 10 minutes.

Is it the one where he's riding the bike with the shirt on? Yeah, he may well have been. It's absolutely incredible. As I recall, he was riding a unicycle in the circus. It was a segue. So I think the first move when he announced that he was leaving France, that sort of made him a free agent and he started fielding offers. Really? Like who wants a occasionally working, very fat French actor?

You know, I know Gerard Depardieu as punchline more than I know him as actor. He's like the greatest French actor of his generation. Yes. But what are the quintessence? I guess I know My of his generation. Yes. But what are the quintessence? I guess I know my father, the hero. Right. His attempt at rom-com over here. And who was the daughter in that?

It is someone who did go on to become kind of famous. Yeah, from My Girl or something. No, I mean, she was probably in Charmed. It's probably like Rose McGowan or something. Yeah, yeah. Sure, yeah. It's a W-E-A-F. No, but wasn't Gérard Depardieu in Jean de Florette in Manon of Spring, which is the only – like the kind of movies I know because Roger Ebert existed?

Yeah, those movies. I mean he was in the great arthouse pictures of the – Mid-'80s. Early to mid-1980s. Yeah, exactly. But the thing I can't remember at this point was, was he handsome? Yeah, or was he always kind of a rolly-polly? Or was he just able to be the leading man because he was rakish? He was handsome, but in a very, very sort of unusual and distinctive way.

Gotcha. And exceptionally rakish. Right. Yeah, I think— So who's the American Gerard Depardieu in terms of handsomeness or look? That's an interesting question. Oh, you mean like who's a guy who's maybe not a physical specimen? Yeah, exactly. That has a kind of sexual magnetism.

You know what I – I can see rating off you two guys. Sure, sure. Well, us. That's the obvious answer, but that's not an interesting discussion. It's the radio. Some people would say our producer, Sonny D. Sure.

The American Gerard Depardieu. The D is for Depardieu. That. The American Gerard Depardieu. The D is for Depardieu. That's right. Sonny Depardieu. You know, I saw a movie the other day called Take This Waltz with kind of Seth Rogen. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. In a very un-Seth Rogen-y role. Right.

And I thought he was great. I thought he was so charming. And you wanted to make French love I thought he was so charming. And you wanted to make French love to him. Yes, exactly. And the movie, I think the movie was almost hurt because of it. It's about this woman who's kind of, you know, they're- Played by Michelle Williams. Played by Michelle Williams.

Her and Seth Rogen are kind of young marrieds. And the kind of plot revolves around her meeting this guy on an airplane who's just, you know, kind of a handsome, he's like a rickshaw driver. Yes, exactly. Maybe a little too indie cute for its own good. It takes place in Montreal, right? It does, yes. Montreal for Montreal.

Maybe it's New York for Montreal. So yeah, and – It's actually Tulsa. Tulsa for Montreal. Tax credit. Sure. And so it's her deciding whether or not to leave Seth Rogen to go with this kind of hot rickshaw guy. Is there any other kind of rickshaw guy?

They're super hot, super Canadian. Strong triceps. It just is impossible to relate to her side of it, to her struggle because Seth Rogen is so amazing and charming and hilarious and great. And he's still, you know, he's in better shape than he was before, but he's still, you know, a little bit dumpy. Right. Still a weird five o'clock shadow.

I still feel like, man, we don't have it. I don't know if we're going to get it, but I feel like I know what you're saying. Yeah. That's not, it's not exactly right. Yeah, because Gerard Debardieu is clearly handsome enough. Sure. There is, you know, I'm sure there were, you know, besides his just magnetism, he was not charming

the ladies with his wacky humor. I guess, to a certain extent, the problem with using me and Jordan as the example is that we're too conventionally handsome. I think that's one of the problems. It's the butt chins. Yeah. Specifically, I think that is what does it. I have a butt chin. You do kind of a little bit of a butt chin.

Exactly. A teen butt chin, yo. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But yeah, I don't know. Yeah, we just don't, I don't think we. We collectively as a culture. We as a culture, you know, eroticize chubby guys as much as we should. Hmm.

Interesting. Yeah. I'd like to challenge the women of America. That's right. Let's roll out. Let's exhume William Howard Taft and see what happens. Sure. But this is about the women of America because the gentlemen who love women of America. That's right. Let's exhume William Howard Taft and see what happens. This is about the women of America because the gentlemen who love gentlemen of America are doing a great job.

They are. There's clubs. Yeah, they got whole get-togethers. Yeah. Yeah, so hey. They have clubs and get-togethers. Ladies, start a get-together. Start a get-together where you eroticize chubby bearded guys.

That's right. Gay guys, sit this one out. You're doing okay. Indeed. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. Jordan, Jessica. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Nate DeMeo, hanging out. Hey, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

Nate DeMeo, hanging out. Hey, Jesse and Nate, did you know that support for Jordan, Jesse, go comes from audible.com, a provider of digital audio books and more? I didn't know that. Well, if you want to listen to it, audible has it with more than 100,000 downloadable titles, including fiction, nonfiction and periodicals. You will find what you're looking for. Jordan, Jesse, go.

Listeners might enjoy Lost at Sea by John Ronson. I bet they would. That's a great book. I'll go off copy here and say I have read that book. It's fantastic. I listened to it on Audible. Really? Dead straight.

Okay. And it was a delightful experience, right? It was. Yeah. Great book. We all recommend it. For a free audio book of your choice and a free 30-day trial membership, go to audiblepodcast.com slash JJ Go. That's audiblepodcast.com slash JJ Go.

You know, we just finished the Max Fund Drive. Our hats are off to the over 1,400 new Max Fund donors. And our thanks also go out to our friends at ExtremeRestraints.com. Providers of fine quality dildonics. They gave us a free supply of sex equipment like a deluge

of sex equipment. Including our own branded sexual lubricant, which is one of the most beautiful things that anyone has ever done for me. I mean, to be able to extend your brand into the intimate area,

so to speak, is just... It's touching, and I know that's maybe putting too fine a point on it, but... Yeah, well, I appreciate it, and if you go to Extreme Restraints, you can find any kind of thing. I actually decided on my Extreme Restraint item.

I think we were talking about this on a previous show. They offered us a post-freebie. Yeah, I kind of just got a beginner's bondage kit. It kind of goes under the mattress and the bonders come up from under the mattress. There you go. Yeah. That seems fun. There's a lot of fun stuff.

There's some crazy stuff, but you know. It is extreme. Sure. Nothing on the Jumbotron this week, but if you want to get up on the Jumbotron, go to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. It's cheap, affordable, and you can get out your personal message. You can get out the word about your business or your show or your what have you. I think that was a great idea.

If you want to advertise on the show, email Teresa at MaximumFun.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. And I'm Nate DeMeo in the third chair from the memory palace hanging out. You know what I like? What do you like?

Podcasting. It's a lot of fun. You know what? We did two and a half hours Podcasting. It's a lot of fun. You know what? We did two and a half hours last night with our friends Biz Ellis and Cameron Esposito right here at the MaxFun World headquarters. And a bunch of lovely fans. And some tremendous fans who really enjoyed it. Me too.

Right? It's fun. Lovely way to spend an evening. It is a nice way to get some young people in here. Uh-huh. Get some pizza pies. The young people love pizza pies. You get some brewskis.

Wait a second. Everybody's, what? What do you think I'm building to date rape? There's been a lot of date rape in the air. I was a little concerned. Sure. No. You get some folks in here.

Just have a sip of this drink, Nate, and forget your troubles. You have some fun. I made it for you. It's beautifully chemically. You do a few jokes. It's beautifully chemically. You do a few jokes. It's low key. Sure. You got some folks chatting in the chat room.

You know what I'm talking about? Love Rhino. Yeah. In Turnaround. All our favorites. All our favorite handles. Probably Craxworth is in there. You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah. Some of our favorite folks from the forum, they're in the chat room. They're chatting it up. We're just sharing a few jokes. It's a really lovely time. Nate, I remember we had a part of our show last night was we had a contest, and the person who did the best tweet about the Max Fund Drive got a trip to LA. Oh, that's right. One of the tweets in contention was one that was kind of a sexual come on to you.

Really? They were disappointed that their gift wasn't like you and a bow or something like that. Really? It wasn't Nate in gift wrap. Yeah. Wow. That's tremendous. So there you go.

All I know is my Nate in a bow search apparently didn't bring that one up. I don't know what's going on. Oh, this was a hashtag. Oh, okay. Interesting. Wow. That's really something. But they didn't bring that one up. I don't know what's going on. Oh, this was a hashtag. Interesting. Wow, that's really something. But they didn't win the trip? They did not, no. We didn't like it because it wasn't about either of us. That's a good point. What was the winning one? The winning one was a woman who said, I'm going to give this lube, and I'm paraphrasing here, I'm going to give the lube, the lube of course was one of the pledge gifts. I just donated. I just donated, I'm going to give this lube. I'm paraphrasing here. I'm going to give the lube. The lube, of course, is one of the pledge gifts.

I just donated. I just donated. I'm going to give the lube to my non-donating husband so he can go fuck himself. Boom. Love it. I also like the idea that she's going to get this solo trip out here without her husband. Exactly. Yeah.

So that'll show him. That's pretty sick. So what happens when they show up? Well, we're going to take them. We're going to take them on a tour of the office. Okay. So that's 10 minutes. 10, 5, we're going to take them. We're going to take them on a tour of the office. Okay, so that's 10 minutes. 10, 5, 10.

Five, more like. There's only two areas in one room. Then there's the parking structure where part of Kill Bill was filmed. I'll take them over there. We'll take them down to MacArthur Park, show them where the cake melted in the rain. Probably, if we're lucky, the fish truck will be here. And then they'll- I guess we go to Langer's and wrap it up.

Really? Get the number 19? Yeah. God, that's a sandwich. Oh, God, that's a sandwich. The number 19, the pastrami sandwich. Oh, this is a pastrami. If you're out there, you don't know what this is. This is a pastrami with slaw.

Oh, this thing is just sublime. And they have curbside delivery. Oh, curbside. So convenient. I feel like if Art Langer is a podcast fan, I feel like he should get up on the Jumbotron. The late Art Langer? No, he's dead. Isn't Art Jr. around?

Isn't Art Jr. running? Oh, Jr. might run it. I feel like we've given them enough free advertising at this point where advertising would just be moot. I just want a fucking sandwich. Man, they're real good. Just send me a sandwich once in a while, Langers. One free sandwich a month. You guys all, all your stupid waitresses wear ESPN the radio station t-shirts.

Why can't I just get a free sandwich once in a while? You would think so. But it does have the curbside pickup, which is fantastic. Pastrami Reuben, corned beef Reuben. Oh, God. With mustard, without mustard. Liars. Put slaw.

And I feel like in this time of incredible change here in Los Angeles, there's nothing you can hold on to because K-Day is going. Yeah. Did you hear about this, Jordan? I did, yeah. K-Day, the legendary oldies hip-hop station here in Los Angeles, the one real reason to live in Los Angeles besides, of course, close proximity to Nate DeMeo, has been sold and it's going to go Chinese, they say. They're going to flip the format to Chinese. Where will I learn about upcoming DJ Quick concerts?

Where will I learn where I can rent rims? Rent to own rims is like the only business that advertises on K-Day. And one wonders why the station was sold. K-Day's advertising lineup should just be called the cavalcade of sadness. It is every horrible- Bail bonds. Yeah, it is just rent to own rims, bail bonds. All of which you can get with the payday loan.

Yes, payday loans. That's exactly what I was going to say. Personal finance products for the indigent. My dream, however, for this new station is that it will be Mandarin language DJs playing the same music. And then also rap advertisements for Yoshinoya teriyaki bowls. People. Yeah. Yeah.

Yoshinoya bowls. Our bowls are better than theirs. Better than theirs. Who is their bowl competition? I don't know. Who's like, I want a bowl for lunch. For taking down Yoshinoya. I mean, I grew up in a hotbed of chain restaurants. I have never been inside a Yoshinoya. I mean, I grew up in a hotbed of chain restaurants.

I have never been inside a Yoshinoya. I have never met anyone who has had Yoshinoya. Well, perhaps the bed was so hot you didn't need to go in. No, I've heard that Yoshinoya is horrible. I mean, like truly horrible. Yeah. And from people who would frequent a- You know, there's a Yoshinoya across the street from Langer's.

Go give it a try if you want. That's okay. I'm going to skip that. But if I could listen to K-Day on the old headphones while I did that, that would be fine. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Desi Go. Hi, this is Biz. And I'm Teresa. And we host a show about being new moms.

Have you ever pretended to be a sleeping rock to make your three-year-old play by herself? How about scream singing to make yourself think you aren't screaming? You're singing really, really loud! Join us every week for more helpful tips on creative parenting. And remember, you don't have to park your toddler in front of the TV to be one bad mother. Subscribe for free on iTunes or go to MaximumFun.org. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

Nate DeMeo in the third chair. When something momentous happens to you, our listener, we ask that you call us at 206-984-4FUN, 206-984-4FUN, or email us at jjgoe at maximumfun.org. The segment, Momentous Occasions. Let's go to the tape. Hey, Jordan Jesse Goh, this is Colin in Ohio.

Probably more for Jesse, but I think that it's exciting enough to warrant everyone's interest. I just high-fived Dusty Baker, former Los Angeles Dodger and current Cincinnati Red manager, who famously invented the high five. So, yeah, basically just had the prototypical high five. And it was just as amazing as I thought and a little drier. Thanks. Nothing wrong with Dusty Baker. Dusty Baker managed the Giants for a long time.

Yes, he did. If you're a baseball fan like myself, you know that he is one of the most boneheaded managers in the world. It is absolutely true. It is as though he is trying to make the wrong move, according to baseball nerds. The idea that the Reds are any good at all is shocking to me. But the thing about Dusty Baker that he is uh one of the most charming men you could ever imagine he is a genuinely great leader of men like the players who play for him adore him like name their children after him even while he's destroying their pitching arms yeah and um and and for that reason while on the one hand it's okay with me

that he's no longer the giants manager manager, I do miss him sometimes. Sometimes I'll see him in the dugout of the Cincinnati Reds with a toothpick in the corner of his mouth and think, oh, I miss you, Dustin. Like the high five, that guy. Yeah, and he invented the high five in the 1970s. Is that actually true? I have heard conflicting things about that. I heard that it was a girls volleyball team in the 60s. Yeah, so I've read some research into this.

And there may be parallel invention. that Dusty Baker and company did in fact invent it for their purposes and may or may not have been who popularized it and may or may not have been first. So Dusty Baker went – because was he in the Big Red Machine? I can't remember. He was in the Big Red Machine. So it was Joe Morgan, et cetera, all high-fiving and they're the popularizers? I believe it was a different point in his career.

Oh, what is the guy – this believe it was a different point in his career oh what is the guy uh sky who's an outfielder it was very fast i think it was when he would they were playing for the dodgers and he came out and ended up dying of aids in the 80s um whose name i can't remember but anyway it was it was not on the reds i don't think it was a, it was not on the Reds, I don't think. It was one of the other teams. Maybe the – oh, my memory of this is very weak. I don't want to – Glenn Burke. Glenn Burke.

I don't want to undercut – Dusty and Glenn Burke. I don't want to undercut the apparent moment that Colin had with Dusty Baker and is apparently dry. You already did. I know. But I will do that. Wasn't there, there was like John Wallum,

the fine writer from the Bay Area, he wrote this big blowout in Wired and I don't remember Dusty being the most essential of characters in the history of the era. Well, the big article that I remember reading about it was mostly about Glenn Burke

because he has an amazing personal story. You know, that he invented the high five and then got sick and, you know, came out after his playing days and had to quit baseball early, ended his baseball career early because he wanted to come out, but he didn't want to come out while he was a baseball player and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then part of the moral of the story is, oh, but he actually but actually there were people who were high fiving before they invented the high-five. I like the idea slash don't like the idea of him, if he did not invent the high-five, still insisting that he did.

Yes, absolutely. There's something kind of – yeah, there's something just kind of boorish about that. Dusty or the late Glenn Burke? Dusty Baker particularly. That's right. Let's close out besmirch yeah like if if if he is like you said of just kind of a you know kind of a uh uh kind of a um a charming charming rogue i like that part of the character and i do i really do like the idea that that you know here's this thing that that you we have all done and you can like you can still slap with the source sure right down yeah yeah exactly it's very nice like you can't have a sandwich with the Earl of Sandwich.

Exactly. But you can have a number 19 at Langer's. Sure. I'll tell you what I'd like to do. Go fishing with Dusty and Darren Lewis in the off season. Do they do that? Him and D. Lou. But wasn't the thing where Dusty, it was Dusty who had his way too young kid on the bench, correct?

Yeah, I mean there's a lot of different stuff. There's a lot of problematics with Dusty who had his way too young kid on the bench, correct? Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of different stuff. There's a lot of problematics with Dusty Baker. But I prefer to think and remember him as the charming man that he is. And, you know, he made the Cincinnati Reds a good team. They're an excellent team now. That's no small feat. And I give him some of the credit for that. Okay, let's take the next call.

All the baseball nerds are calling in right now. They're angry at me for defending Dusty Baker. Hey, Jordan and Jesse, this is Josh in Missouri. I have a momentous occasion. The stork just graciously delivered to my wife and I a pair of lionhead

bunnies, and they're pretty cute. The rumors are true about bunnies and they're pretty cute they you just the rumors are true about bunnies uh they love carrots we just gave them some carrots and they just go crazy for them so that's what i got can i can i tell you what bunnies really love doing it that's true yeah doing it they do alfalfa sure really alfalfa, sure. Really? Alfalfa. You give a bunny, a bunny will cross the desert for a sprig of alfalfa. They are like Darla for that alfalfa. They are over the moon for alfalfa.

I'm glad to hear that they do love carrots. What is a lion head bunny? It looks like a lion. No. Yeah, it does. Lion head bunny. It's got long hair around its head. And this guy was afraid that his wife was pregnant with them.

Is this some sort of satanic pregnancy? I was a little confused. She fucked a lion. Oh, okay. So lion plus human. Like a rabbit. Equals lion head. Rabbit style, sure.

I've heard of that popular position. I was just thrown by the idea. I did not realize that the stork was also in the rabbit delivering business. Yes. Yeah, boy. It's a weird gig. Being a stork is a weird-ass gig. Do you think the stork delivers anti-stork predators?

That's the thing. Like alligators? Absolutely. Like, jeez. I mean, like which- Crocodiles? And is it the worst stork that gets that job, or is it the best stork that gets that job?

Yeah, it's the most- I guess I think of it as like an escape from New York type situation. Yeah, exactly. He's the snake pliskin of storks. Like a Rambo. You get him out of retirement. That's the thing. It's like, oh, we got to get – we got three wolverines that got to go down.

Let's get Vin out of retirement. Yeah. That's crazy. So you think wolverines eat storks? I think wolverines will eat whatever they can. Yeah. Including storks. I think they'll jump – they'll grab a stork out of the air. You don't think storks are too tall? I mean – Too tall for a wolverines will eat whatever they can. Including storks. I think they'll grab a stork out of the air.

You don't think storks are too tall? Too tall for a wolverine? Well, they've got a long, vulnerable neck. That's true. Wolverines do? No, no, storks do. They love to sink their teeth into that neck meat. You've eaten the Vlasic pickle, right?

Yeah. Yeah, isn't the stork, isn't it? That's made of the neck of a stork? It is actually. It's designed to actually echo the shape of the neck of a stork. It is actually, it's designed to actually act in the shape of the neck of a stork. Oh, the pickle is designed to be that. See, stork necks are- In that story, you are the wolverine.

Stork necks start out as cucumbers. Right. You add brine, and it turns into a stork neck. It's true. I see. And then next thing you know, lion head bunnies at your door. Is that why storks are kosher? Mm-hmm.

Yeah, that's why Jews eat storks. They're like wolverines? Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's why Jews eat storks. They're like wolverines. Only on Passover. Yeah. Hence, I think what we can all walk away from this with is that Jews are like wolverines. Exactly. That's the, yes, absolutely.

Let's take the next call. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. This is David from Ann Arbor, Michigan, calling with a momentous occasion. I'm a graduate student here in Ann Arbor and I just noticed that there's a guy speaking at my school today whose given name is Rip Rapson. Rip Rapson.

It seems like it's been a while since you guys have talked about Chip Gibson and Dip Dobson but I think this guy could round out the crew. Or maybe he's their arch ne and the sister sounds like it I'm not sure but you guys be the judge thanks love the show I worry that

Rip Rapson would be like the unwanted Marx brother which Marx brother is that Zeppo like Zeppo Marx or Curly Mo yeah it's Rip Rapson Yeah, like Zeppo Marx. Real shimp situation. Or Curly Moe. Yeah.

Yeah, it's Rip Rapson. Chip Dipson and Dip Dopson are two fictional names that we believe are the best fictional names. Really? You think so? They're friends. Yeah. These are the funniest sketch comedy character names. Yeah, Rip Rapson, it sounds like an 80s Hanna-Barbera villain. Like someone who would be after, I don't know, let's say...

Who's the one that talks like this? Snagglepuss? Snagglepuss, yeah. Someone who would be chasing Snagglepuss. He would be in the... My name's Rip Rapson and I'm here to say... Oh, like he's an evil rapper. He's a gold in a major way.

Yeah, it really does sound like someone who would have done a PSA in the 80s. Rage away. Yeah, it really does. It does sound like someone who would have done a PSA in the 80s. It sounds like- Someone who would be encouraging kids to do graffiti tagging. Yes, exactly. No, I've been getting a lot of spam through the Memory Palace website. And for a long time, it was just Uggboots, Uggboots, Uggboots, Fendi, Uggboots, Uggboots, Uggboots, Fendi.

But lately, it's a lot of very creative, preposterous names that come in because they're trying to sneak under the wire. And so today it was like Rosetta Cragwitch. And they're really remarkable. They're remarkable names. They are rip-raps and little names. Do they inspire you to have more children so that you can name them after spam bots? Rosetta Cragwitch. Absolutely. DeMayo? Yes. children so that you can name them after spam bots rosetta cragwitch absolutely mayo yes well i go cragwitch rosetta de mayo just because cragwitch is clearly the superior first name

but um yeah no absolutely it's it's uh it's been fairly remarkable i wish that we knew what rip rapson does what did this guy say he met in school in college he's gonna speak on campus so not only is not only is he a person that exists in the world, he's a person that has achieved some level of – Maybe he's a Timothy Leary type and he's going to try and get everybody to pass it. If only we had a producer who could Google Rip Rapson in quotes and tell us what Rip Rapson's deal is. Or Rip Rapson nude pics. That's right. The greatest name I ever experienced was a real name.

That's right. The greatest name I ever experienced was a real name. I was selling shoes at a shoe store in the Capitola Mall outside of Santa Cruz when I briefly also went to UC Santa Cruz. You worked at the mall in Capitola? Yeah. I worked at Roberts, the leather goods store. Where did you finish out, Santa Cruz or Santa Barbara? Neither. I was asked to leave Santa Cruz and I ended up finishing up at Rhode Island College, home of the Anchorman. You got yourself kicked out of UC Santa Cruz? Oh, Jesse, too square. He got kicked out for narking.

No, I got kicked out for not going to class. It was one of these. It was like, if you don't complete enough units, you have to. It was that kind of thing. Not chill enough. But there I was at the Capitola Mall selling shoes, getting the cherry lemonade from a hot dog and a stick. Sure. Being weirdly erotically charged by the women at Hot Dog on a Stick.

Well, look what they do for a living. But suddenly this 16-year-old girl comes in and she buys some Tevas. And she has a check, personal check, 16-year-old girl. And it's like Sylvester and Tweety Bird. She's just like normal, nerdy 16-year-old girl. And her name, Ricochet Pope. Wow. And I've since like – Do you think she was from Santa Cruz or Capitola?

She might have been – yeah. She might have been visiting from Monterey, I would guess. Yes, exactly. From Half Moon Bay. But she – yeah. So her name was Ricochet Pope and I like paused and I said, this is your name? And she said, yes, Ricochet Pope, my parents, blah, blah, blah. Did she seem embarrassed or was she owning it?

She was a little embarrassed. Yeah. And I have since Googled. I have since Facebook searched because it's the greatest name of all time. And does not seem to exist. So I think that I've now interpreted that she actually was too abashed. I think she has gone off. Do you think she goes by Ricky?

Or Shay. Or O. But I don't know. Yeah, but it's the greatest name. Like Ricochet, boom. It was done. Yeah. I mean, I think growing up in Santa Cruz, you're probably also encouraged to go off the grid at some point. So maybe she's, you know, living in some sort of like trading economy somewhere in a trailer

park. She's trading sex for tarpaulins. Sure. She's traded Tevas for other Tevas. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Nate DeMeo from the Memory Palace.

I just want to one more time thank all of the folks who came through for us in the Max Fund Drive. Yeah, absolutely. The existing donors, the new donors, the folks who increased their donation. It was really, really amazing. And it's a really cool part about Max Fund Drive other than, you know, it making it possible for us to podcast is it's great to hear from everybody. You know, it's like it brings people out of the woodwork. They say how much they like the shows. You're interacting more on social media.

And that's all. It's just a delight. It's nice to know that we are doing this for someone and not just, you know, we're not just sitting in this hot box running our mouths, that there's people out there who are enjoying it and appreciating it. No, it's a remarkable thing. It's like, you know, this right here, literally, these, you know, talking to two dudes in a weird hot box is like the most social podcasting activity I've ever experienced. Because it's usually me and, you know, in my closet, like recording, you know, surrounding myself with like suit jackets to make with suit jackets to make sure that the sound is in place. That you sound classy.

Yeah, exactly. And then going out and recording. But no, it's amazing. First of all, to have people decide that they want to spend some of their hard-earned dollars to support what one does. But literally just to have people people kind of like reach out and say they're psyched is amazing. Yeah, it's a really amazing thing. So thank you so much, everybody.

Everybody who I've been bothering on Twitter the last couple of weeks, thank you for sticking with me. I got almost no whiny complaints this year. That's great. Yeah, like one person. That's great. In two weeks. And I was really going at it. Sure. Because this is what we eat, you know. That's great. Yeah, like one person. That's great. In two weeks.

And I was really going at it. Sure. Because this is what we eat, you know. Going to town. That's how my baby buys shoes. Sure. I send my baby to the store with a handful of cash. Get some Tevas. Get yourself some Tevas.

Little Tevas. She walks out with a handful of Tevas to get some other Tevas. I had a pair of Tevas once. Hey, can I plug an upcoming thing this weekend? You're going to be at the Bridgetown Comedy Festival. I am going to be at the Bridgetown Comedy Festival. I should have had this information in front of me. I'm going to boot it up on my phone.

Jesse, do you want to talk to Nate for a second? Yeah, sure. Well, have you ever been to the Bridgetown Comedy Festival, Nate? I'm not even sure where Bridgetown is. It's Portland, Oregon. Oh. It's a town of many bridges. Yeah.

A couple of great comics put this thing together. They invite a bajillion comedians up to Portland. Everybody stays in a shitty hotel and drinks a lot. Sounds delightful.

And does jokes in one of 10,000 venues. And Portlanders take a break from standing in line for various food trucks and come out and support the comedy shows. This is quite a good time.

That sounds excellent. So at which of these many venues is Jordan going to be at? Well, guys, thank you for continuing to stall. I'm doing too slow on this. I'm using Tumblr to look at where I posted it on Tumblr. You're also going to have a little meetup, right? You posted about that on the forum. Yeah, we're having a little meetup.

Yet another piece of information that I don't have in front of me. People should go to the forum and look at that if they want to. The thing that I like most about the show is the amount of preparation. Yeah. Jordan is ready to go. Just, I've got it all in front of me. Oh, boy, guys. I'm sorry.

Oh, God. What are you doing, Jordan? I'm trying to boot it up, but it's having trouble loading. See, I'm doing it on – I'm a Tumblr, but it's just got these little dogs here. Those are nice dogs, though. Those are pretty fun. I don't know if –

I don't go in much for the cute animals on the internet, but I do allow myself to subscribe to the Fluffington Post. Oh, guys, here it is. This is great. Bridgetown Comedy Festival, Thursday, April 18th. I will be at the Mail Chimp Stage Opening Show. That's at 8 p.m. at the Mount Tabor Theater. Friday night, I will be at the Mount Tabor Theater Lounge at 7.30 and at the Hawthorne Theater on Saturday at 9 p.m.

So, yeah, come to one of those shows. It's all on the Bridgetown Comedy Festival website. And we're having a meetup at 5, or excuse me, at 6 p.m. on the Friday before that Friday show. I do not have the restaurant at the top of my head, but it's on the MaxFun forums. There'll be local food served.

Yes, yeah, I should imagine. There might be a craft beer available. No, no, we're meeting at a Taco Bell. Excellent. Yeah, yeah, craft. There might be a craft beer available. No, no, we're meeting at a Taco Bell. Excellent. Yeah, yeah, craft beer might be involved. You are meeting somewhere where there's wings available. I think so, yeah. Really?

A listener suggested the place, and he mentioned the wings specifically, so wings are involved. Fantastic. Yeah. I can't imagine it's not going to be a great tour. It doesn't get any better than wings. Well, unless you're talking about thighs. Yeah. Thighs are a little better than wings.

If you put the good sauce on them. Depending. Right. Why would you go to Portland if there wasn't going to be good sauce? You wouldn't go to Portland. No. Nate DiMeo is the host of the Memory Palace, an infrequently funny podcast. Much more often contemplative than funny.

You slipped a little gag into the last one. Last episode had a little gag. Yeah, but mostly it's a thoughtful, beautiful podcast that if you're not listening to, just go suck a lemon. You know what I mean? That's my motto. Harsh words. That's actually our tagline. But seriously, are they too harsh for people who don't even listen to the Memory Palace?

That's true. Right? It's appropriate. How easy would it be for them to just subscribe to the Memory Palace? It's pretty easy. We're talking about a monthly show. You already know how to subscribe to podcasts, clearly. It's true.

Monthly show, 10, 15 minutes long. If you're lucky. Yeah. I mean, really. Sometimes you're in and out three minutes, but you're changed. You're changed. Transformed. Your you're changed. You're changed. Transformed. Your trousers are changed.

On the boards, Sunny D, our theme music, love you. Sunny Depardieu. Love you by the Free Design, courtesy of the Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. Our thanks to them. We'll see you online on the forums at forum.maximumfun on Twitter with the hashtag JJ go on the face book. Just search for Jordan Jesse go and next time you're on the program. Toodles. Maximum fund dot org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported.