Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 323: Straight Up Scoopin with April Richardson

Episode Date: May 5, 2014

Comedian and podcaster April Richardson joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of their recent northwest tour, bar etiquette and April's experience at a rockabilly conference.

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. I'm the host of the program. Jordan's the other host of the program. Great to have you here with us. Very smoggy in Los Angeles as I look out our studio window. We could use some rain. You know what? We landed. You and I went on a tour of the Pacific Northwest. You know

that. I don't have to explain that to you, Jordan. Oh, I have forgotten. Had you forgotten? It just slipped your mind? That week of our lives? Well, I mean, my drug regimen is really intense these days. What are you on these days? oh boy lots of like horse stuff like stuff for horses yeah

well I knew you were using that horse shampoo and that's why you were getting such gorgeous volume and shine yeah but if you drink that you get fucked up and you will forget several days so yeah I mean that's but thank you for reminding me. I'm basically having to, like, have a kind of a memento-based lifestyle where I tattoo things on myself that I need to remember.

Man. I typed podcast Saturday, 4 p.m. Let's introduce our guest. Host Jesse. Our guest is a beloved stand-up comic. You might have seen her on television, such as the program Chelsea Handler Show. I forgot what it was called. That's about it.

A very funny woman, Miss April Richardson. How are you, April? I'm good. It's Chelsea Lately now. Yeah, there you go. But yeah. But thank you. Hi.

Thank you for having me. Was it originally called just Chelsea Show? No, I think it was. It was called Chelsea Show. It was called Chelsea Handler Show. Chelsea Show. Because I think when it first started, it was a sketch show. Can we change it to Chelsea Show?

Sure. I'll tell them that when I get back to work on Monday. Is there still a behind-the-scenes show that comes on after the show? That was after lately, and it doesn't anymore. It was only for two seasons. That was an amazing thing that occurred on that program, was that there was a second show. It was semi-fictional? Yeah.

I mean, I wasn't in it. It started before I started working there. But yeah, it would just be, it was based on something, like people would usually come in to work on Monday and go, listen to how crazy this got on the road. And then they would be like,

that'd be a funny episode of After Lately. And then they would write around it. Yeah. See, there you go, Jordan. So it was ripped from the headlines. Why don't we have a show like that about Jordan and Jesse Go? Where we have another conversation? Yeah.

About previous conversations? Where we have an even looser structured conversation? Yeah. Man. Like Jordan and Jesse Go, but with a sort of improv feel. Yeah. You know, we're ping-ponging. Yeah.

So we landed in Los Angeles, and it had been our entire trip to the Pacific Northwest 50 and 60 degrees. And we landed in Los Angeles. It was 100 degrees outside. You couldn't see past the end of your nose because of the smog. I felt like I was getting off a plane in Los Angeles in a movie from 1987. That's what I felt like. The secret of my success? Yeah. And you're like, I'm going to make it. Doc Hollywood? Like just something where there were a lot of guys with power suits looking at their watches. Right.

You know what I mean? And everyone had a sexy therapist. A lot of tipping of eyeglasses. Yeah. April and I were talking about we both live in... We live like one street over from each other. Yeah, we're like neighbors. Oh, you know, I kind of live a little bit further away. I live by the Grove now. Oh, fancy.

The listeners are like, yeah, sorry, April. Have fun up there above Santa Monica. For folks who don't know, the Grove is a famous orange grove here in the center of Los Angeles that also has a J.Crew and a Banana Republic. Yeah.

And a Gap. And a novelty horseless carriage. Yes. And it's, I mean, just like an orange grove is great because it's nice to have just a place across the street from my house where I can bury the bodies. Yeah, exactly. And it fertilizes the trees. Circle of life. But we both have like, you know, 30s apartments.

Charming. Very charming. Very hot though. 30s apartments that don't have air conditioning. Very charming. Very hot, though. 30s apartments that do not have air conditioning in them. Well, April, I can't help but notice you've got an adorable outfit on. You've got on some, what are we looking at, like an aquatic theme? Yeah, a little anchor shorts, a little nautical theme. I like that.

That's fun. Thank you. I appreciate it. Jordan, you're just wearing regular Jordan clothes. Standard clothes. Yeah, just regular. Just Jordan stuff. It's not a big deal.

Yeah. But April's got on a cute little outfit. I think my outfit's pretty fun. I mean, I'm not saying it's not fun. It's not like it's a not fun outfit. You don't look like the man in the gray flannel suit. No, that's true. I'm not saying that you're going to go out there and rail against the long hairs.

No. Why would I? It's just normal. It's fun and a little bit flirty. I would describe it as fun and a little bit flirty. April's wearing a cute little outfit. This is well thought out. You're ready for a casual get together.

Sure. I'm not saying you're not ready for a casual get together. If you put a skewer in your hand and you're good to go. I just want you to acknowledge that it's fun but also a little bit flirty. I don't feel like it's flirty. I don't feel like it's flirty, Jordan. We have different definitions of flirty then. How would you define flirty, Jordan?

If I might take this opportunity to ask, how would you define flirty? Gray shorts, red and blue shirt. Right. Okay. Well, fair enough. The standard uniform of the flirt. Fair enough. You know, I guess now that you mention it, like, a lot of dudes

in black vans have been flirting with me lately. It's because we're so flirty. Yeah, that explains that. That explains that. Oh, yeah. Anyway, moral of the story, too hot here in Los Angeles, but we had a great time in the Pacific Northwest. Very nice time.

I noticed in Portland, Oregon, we played at a venue called McMenamin's Mission Theater. Does that sound right to you? Yes. And it was a combination. But again, horse shampoo, so I don't fucking know. A combination of theater and brew pub. Mm-hmm. It's a combination of theater and brew pub.

And it follows with actually Portland has zoning regulation that you can only open businesses that are combined with a brew pub. And in fact, many of their civic institutions are combined with a brew pub. Right. Yeah, exactly. If you go to like down to City Hall to like get a zoning permit or something, you have to have a craft beer and something with sriracha on it. Yeah. Or else you go to jail. You go to fucking jail. You go to jail.

Yeah. Isn't there really – I could be wrong. I thought that there really was an ordinance where they can't have chains within the city limits or something, like fast food chains. That makes sense. I mean that sounds like it's right to me. I thought it was right. If you told me that with a little more confidence, I would totally believe you. When you said chains, I immediately pictured

like a chain gang. I was like, that doesn't seem like a Portland. They have definitely not banned chain wallets. Talk about those. No, sir. When I see a 45-year-old with a chain wall, Portland's the place to go. No, I just remember, like, I dated a guy that lived there, and when I'd go visit him, I would be like, you guys don't have, like, a Taco Bell or anything? And he's like, I swear he told me that there was something where within the city limits there couldn't be chain restaurants.

You were trying to—you were in Portland with this guy trying to— I'm just for the sake of argument. You were demanding a Taco Bell? I just was like, this is a weird city that I haven't seen one yet. And then that's when he was like, I think that's a law. I think that you're not allowed to. He said, I love you.

And you said, can I have some Taco Bell? He did not ever say that. It's probably because he wasn't eating enough Taco Bell. No, I just, that was the thing. That's Memories of Portland

by April Richardson. That was beautiful. So wistful. It was lovely. Had a few hundred people there in Portland, Oregon. We went to Seattle, Washington, which is like a slightly larger Portland, Oregon that hates the crap out of Portland for reasons that John Roderick explained to us at length. Yeah.

I think, I mean, if we put out that episode, we'll get into it a little bit. But it is weird why Seattle and Portland hate each other. Yeah, they have a bitter and nasty rivalry. But I think – you know what I think it is? I've been thinking a lot about this. Wait, why do they hate each other? Unclear. Still unclear.

It's because they don't – each doesn't like that the other is the same city as it. Oh, OK. I was thinking recently about like the stuff that annoys me like in other people, like the stuff that always makes me roll my eyes. And I think it is a little bit about like it's stuff I see in myself that I don't like. And I think that like there's that dark mirror principle a little bit. Yeah. And I think that like when Portland does something Portland-y, Seattle rolls its eyes because

it's also down the street, you know. Right, right. It's potent because you recognize it. Yeah. I think there is definitely an element of the narcissism of small differences, as Freud once said. Would he have said that? Yeah. I think in this context, he would have applied that classic phrase. And then you, Jordan, you had to fly back for work, but Graham and Dave and I continued on

to Vancouver, Washington, which is yet a third place that's exactly the same as Portland and Seattle. They don't hate anyone. Vancouver, Canada. Vancouver, Canada. Excuse me. Not Vancouver, Washington. Yeah. Vancouver, Washington is a drug slum.

Yeah. Exactly. Vancouver, British Columbia. It's where America gets all its white jittery guys. I got to go to the Vancouver Aquarium where they have otters, which are an amazing creature. Yeah, otters are great. Just see them right there rolling around on their backs, their fat bellies sticking out. Otters got these fat bellies. But here's the thing.

You get a look at an otter and you see him doing his swim moves and you think that you could give him a hug and a kiss. But actually, he just bites your nose right off. Did you try? No. I mean, I didn't. I'm not a strong swimmer ultimately. Also, you haven't mastered the use of tools yet. No, I haven't.

Which otters have? I am very jealous. I've had this one clam in my car that I've been trying to figure out how to open up. No, I haven't. Which otters have? I am very jealous. I've had this one clam in my car that I've been trying to figure out how to open up. Use a rock, dude. I've been telling you. Use a rock. I don't see how it could work. I have these little hand-type things. These little

paddles. Yeah. I want to open up this clam. I can't figure out how to do it. You'll get it. You just got to do it on your own time. I know there's sweet clam meat in there. Yeah. Sweet briny clam meat. Well cooked by now if it's been in your car for the past couple days.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Okay. We'll be back in just a second. I'm Jordan Jesse Coe. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.-D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D.A.D La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, boatparty.biz, July 25th through 28th of this year. It's a trip to the Bahamas with your favorite comedians and musicians, and here you go. This is a Jordan and Jesse Go exclusive, the announcement of the full music lineup for the cruise. Not only do you get the great John Roderick of the Long Winters, the fabulous rapper Jean Grey, you also get the brilliant indie pop band Lake, who you might know.

They make the outro music on the wonderful television program Adventure Time. And the stunning, spectacular, thrilling party jams of Antibales Afrobeat Orchestra. That is a 14-piece band, folks. I have no idea how we're going to do the sound for a 14-piece band on a cruise ship. It's going to be like, it's really, it's going to be incredible. It is going to be absolutely off the chain with Auntie Ballas there and Jean Grey and Lake and John Roderick and an amazing lineup. Look, listen to these comedians. Tell me you don't want to hang out and party with these comedians. Greg Barron, Morgan Murphy, Kamau Bell, Natasha Leggero, Chris Fairbanks,

Kyle Kinane, Moshe Kasher, Karen Kilgariff, Guy Branum, Tony Kameen, and and, just added, ding-donger, Matt Bronger. It's all online at boatparty.biz. All your information. You can buy a ticket for yourself,

a ticket for a couple, a ticket for your family. Families are very much welcome. There's even babysitting service. All that information is online at boatparty.biz. So go grab your tickets right now. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, do that. April's been on when you haven't been here. Did we do nicknames when you... I don't remember. That's okay. I'm a terrible...Abel Richardson, worst guest in the history of this podcast. No, no, no. You'll be

fine. You can think of something. Have you been drinking main and tail? I'm wasted on more shampoo. We both... We split some on the drive here. Hoping we wouldn't get pulled over and get caught. We had to stop by the stables. By the constable. By the drive here. Yeah, sure. Hoping we wouldn't get pulled over and get caught. Yeah, it'll stop by the stables. By the constable.

By the horse police. I just, he just knocks on the window. He says, sir, is that mane and tail? And you just say, is this not a horse? My mouth is a horse. April, I, so just before we went on air, there was a glancing reference to you having recently performed stand-up comedy. Yes. At a rockabilly convention?

Yes. And when you say rockabilly convention, you don't just mean the Rose Bowl flea market. No, I mean all of those people transplanted to Las Vegas for a thing called Viva Las Vegas. And it is 100% rockabilly convention for the weekend. It has like an old-timey car show, has pin-up modeling contests. It has like swing dancing. What's a pin-up modeling contest? Is it just like putting a fan in front of your boobs?

Yeah. Who could put a fan in front of your boobs? Yeah. Who could put a fan in front of their boobs the best? I didn't see it, but I really do think it's like those things where it's like Budweiser bikini ladies or whatever, but with pinup looking girls. Like I think you get on a stage and walk the stage. I just imagine they roll out a B-52 and you have to kind of hold on to the nose. You have to pose next to it for a painting the best uh no i didn't see any of that stuff i did just go to do the stand-up i'd actually been to it a couple years this is the 17th year that it's been happening and i went a couple years prior to

just shop like the thing about me is like i'm what you would call a poser because i'm like super into the look but don't live it any further than that you know you don't shoot dice in an alley i don't drive a 57 chevy i don't play stand-up bass like i don't do those things and that's fine there's a lot of things about the lifestyle that are too much yeah but i yes i'm glad that there are people i'm i think it's interesting and fascinating that people exist. But when I hear someone say, like, I live my whole life like it was 1940. Right. Because they're really into Deco. Yeah.

It's like, yeah, but I mean, so you have like a lot of radios at your house. But like as soon as you leave. Yeah, you're out and like you're going to use a cell phone. You're going to type on a computer. Like you can go to a theme party. Yeah. But like you have to only make other theme party friends to maintain this facade. Yeah.

See, that's I. Yeah. I don't know anybody that goes that far. I admire I admire anybody who puts effort into anything, and I admire enthusiasm. I do think, yeah, it's like so much effort. Even just getting dressed to that degree every single day is so much effort. And I, for one, appreciate it. When I'm at the Rose Bowl flea market, and I see a group of young people, and by group of young people, I mean 50-year-olds, because that is the current demographic of that particular group of people.

But when I see a group of people in those outfits, I appreciate it every time. I think they look great. I like the girls' haircuts. Yeah. And their red lipstick. Sure. Yeah. Well, if you went to this, this spans all ages.

And honestly, most of them were my age or younger. It was like mid-30 30s early 30s um there were a bit of there were a few like og people there where you're like oh you were doing this when you're a teenager because you are like 70 right now um but for the most part yeah it's like a lot of really beautiful women dressed to the nines um a lot of greaser dudes i'm interested in the overlap of it too because i and i'm like way into music and I'm a big record collector and I find it interesting like for the most part I get like okay you guys listen to Elvis and whatever but there were

I loved the crossover of like there was Psycho Billy and Gotha Billy and like you know what I mean like Punkabilly I would see like a greaser dude from head to toe look like he's... Raveabilly it's just that but with a feather boa and like glow sticks.

Yeah, and glow sticks. Body paint. I never know what's going to cross over as far as how much of a hard line they walk on. The legitimacy of whatever they're into. Because I would see a dude who looked like he stepped out in 1954 head to toe, but was wearing a Misfits shirt. So I'm like, oh, but they're okay? It's like how you'll go to like a comic-con and you'll see a guy in a stormtrooper outfit like doing up close magic

yeah it's like oh you've just combined the two things you like i think there's yeah i mean there's like some people who are deeply engaged in like jerry or jerry lee lewis records right and then there are other people who want to dress like Jerry Lee Lewis and go to a punk rock show. Right. Because I feel like I'm the latter. Like I dress a certain way, but I listen to like the Smiths. Like I'm not living it 24 seven, but I am.

I don't consider I'm not part of that subculture. I'm not deeply into it. So I wonder if like that guy gets made fun of by other like speaking to your point like of what his friends like yo those misfits record you can't play them on a gramophone or whatever. there is with people who like don't think that other people live it less glenn dancing more glenn miller yeah yeah exactly no that's not exactly right it was pretty good though i think i think it would be great if you like entered the rockabilly car contest with like a 67 mg yes pull in next to them you get out you're like it's british it's british racing green so what where where does the comedy take place i wonder oh well that was the thing is that i actually this clothing line called steady clothing that has given me like lots of free stuff and are super nice to me they were like do you want to come

do stand-up at our party like we're having like a 20th anniversary party do you want to do stand-up now i was going to be there anyway because my parents were in vegas that weekend so when you're a compulsive gambler yes which, which my dad fully is. So I was like, I'm going to be there anyway. I'll totally do it. But funnily enough, I even told them, I'm like, this might not be a good idea. I was like, your crowd might not even want stand-up. Like, are you guys sure about this?

And they're like, yeah, totally. It'll be fun. Have you, did you, is there a rockabilly comedy scene? See, that I don't know. I just know I'd previously, like, no joke, like, maybe two years into having started stand-up, I did stand-up at a rockabilly fashion show. Well, nothing goes together like fashion show and comedy. Well, here, that's the other thing, too, is that, like, I, like, do pin-up modeling on the side. Like, that's how I also get all of these free clothes. I have an old-timey looking face.

I do with it what I will. You have a lot of, like, disarmed bombs at your house, too? That's how I also get all of these free clothes. I have an old-timey looking face. I do with it what I will. So sometimes – You have a lot of like disarmed bombs at your house too that you can pose by if you need to. My collection. You're like, listen, you're going to rent the bomb anyway for the fashion shoots. Two for one. You get the model. Yeah.

So I do that. So I had actually – it was even weirder because I had modeled in the fashion show and then the lady who was running it, who was a photographer friend of mine, was like, now go do your set. And I was like, hold on. Because it was already in between – it was like fashion show and then it was supposed to be me doing comedy and then a burlesque show. So I'm like, these conditions could not be worse on top of the fact that everyone's going, we're about to see boobs. Like, why are you talking? You know what I mean? I think those people in that audience, all the ladies and gentlemen who enjoy that fashion

show, they're thinking, I need a nice palate cleanser before I see boobs. I want to hear about how there's no Taco Bells in Portland. Well, that's the other thing, too. Because that's your chunk. That's your opener, right? Well, my jokes aren't like, well, my 57 Chevy broke down yesterday, so da-da-da. You're right. The jokes aren't about that life. chevy broke down yesterday so da da da like you're right like the jokes aren't about that life they do all have this baseline

i just like talking about stray cat strut and stuff sure no but it so that that was an interesting experience that didn't go super well but again i was green it was a weird environment whatever but just based on that i told the people like i don't know if you really want this and they're like yeah of course you do um i need i need a point of clarification on on viva las vegas the rockabilly con okay is it just rockabilly people and their related punk rock subcultures right or you mentioned that there's swing dancing. Yeah. Are there also swing dance people?

I think, well, again. And what about those Frank Sinatra-y swing dance? Because the name Viva Las Vegas suggests. Bobby Soxers? To me. Like a Rat Pack. They would suggest that kind of Rat Pack-y thing that came around around the same time as the swing thing.

This is only based on limited observations of me being there for like one day out of the whole weekend. But it seems to be from like the 40s to like the early 60s. Okay. When I was just looking at the people there and the way they were dressed and what was going on, it seemed to span about that chunk of time. So Brian Setzer is not welcome there. Too late. Yeah.

That I don't know. They did have modern rockabilly bands playing certain stages. But again, since I'm not super familiar with it, I didn't know. I feel like that's exactly the period that, I mean, Brian Setzer is aping that music. Right. But, you know, I think if Setzer shows up, sure, there's some people who think Setzer's a sellout. I think Setzer scores a couple times over the course of the weekend. Oh, yeah, there's no way.

Scores. Yeah. But they're definitely, I mean, it's a welcoming, cool thing. I mean, I don't think there was like a checkpoint at the place that's like, let me check your attire. What era is this? Whether or not you can come in. I mean, they seem pretty cool. I'd like to see somebody with clickers.

Yes. For which decade? Yeah. Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. cool. I'd like to see somebody with clickers. Yes. For which decade? Yeah. Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click. Yeah. Like a ball and strike count type situation.

Yeah, totally. So where were you doing stand-up at this? It was in, it's at the Orleans Hotel and Cantina, which is like kind of off the strip a bit. But it was in, it's the primary, it's almost all held there in various like banquet rooms or whatever. So it was in one of the banquet rooms and it was. Yeah, like half of the people were into me and they were sitting down listening and the other half were like, we could give a fuck and like at the bar talking. And so, of course, I acknowledge that. And like I.

Yeah, it was it was interesting. It was the most well-dressed crowd I've ever done stand up to. It was interesting. It was the most well-dressed crowd I've ever done stand-up to. Was the conference room, had it been transformed in any way? Or was it just a hotel conference room that happened to be filled with people from 50 years previous? Yeah, it was definitely. 60 years previous. Yeah, it was that.

It wasn't really. I mean, it had like balloons and stuff like that, but it was not. It wasn't like you stepped into a time warp when you walked in. Were there balloons, period? Yeah. Yeah, these were all authentic balloons. They were 50s Mylar models. No, I mean, it was a lot of fun, but it was, I don't know.

When I was doing it, actually, I was thinking, because they do have their own bands and like they do have their own pinup models that are famous in those circles and i was wondering if they did have stand-up comics that talked about like did acts as if they were in the 50s or something like a christian comic does goes from youth group to youth group right right like if they i don't think that they do i mean i've never heard that and i've done stand-up i did stand up at the Pinup Girl Boutique in Burbank. Like they have a night because Burbank has that thing every every last Friday of the month where that one street is closed off and it's like a street party thing. So I've done. Yes.

Burbank Boulevard. And so I've done I've done shows there, too. And it's the same kind of thing where it's like all these super nicely dressed people coming out for a night on the town in the fake 50s. But then I talked about like Mad Men. Well, that's a bad reference. Yeah. You talked about it like it was actually happening. A modern TV show.

Have you guys heard of this ad agency, Sterling Cooper? Boy, they sure get into a lot of scrapes. I know a guy who runs a blue jeans company, like a really intense blue jeans company who lives here. And I see him sometimes at the flea market. Hold on, hold on. Define intense blue jeans company who lives here. And I see him sometimes at the flea market. Hold on, hold on. Define intense blue jeans. Okay, so his- Blue jeans that have been soaked in monster energy.

When you take them off, they stand up on their own? Yeah, they go and like have fun with that. They go walk off? No, we're going to go have a beer. These are like handmade Japanese denim, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Oh. Is Japanese denim known to be the best kind of denim? Oh, yeah.

Yes, yes. Absolutely so. Yeah. Like we won't go into the whole thing because it would bore America. But suffice it to say that this is a man with like a collection of like 19th century Levi's that have been pulled out of. Mines. Mines. Yes.

Literally mines. Oh, yeah. That's where you're finding 19th century jeans. Well, they often apparently would strip. They would leave their clothes in the mine and then go in and put them on. And so often they would get left there. And it's also a good place to preserve them. The miners would die while they were having gay sex.

Wait, why does this guy want those jeans? Because they want them to study the details and copy them. Oh, okay. Yeah. So anyway, this guy, his name's Mike. Sometimes I see him at the flea market. Mike's a good name for a guy you know. Yeah.

If you're going to talk about some guy you know, Mike's the best. He'll be wearing most of the outfit at the flea market. We're talking about Sunday morning and we're 7.30 in the morning. You know what I mean? And I think to myself, like, is that seven days a week? Is that five days a week? You know what I mean? Right.

Like, is that around the house? Right. Is his wife on board? That's another thing that I get concerned about. Like, can you only date within the community? Because what if you're period specific? And I know Mike has an Indian motorcycle and he's got like a rat rod. Right.

And like, what if you're dating someone and she's like, honey, I want an infinity. No, I think most of the people I know, they totally do. Yeah. Because they meet them at like community event, those kind of events. In high school, I wanted nothing more than a punk rock or rockabilly girlfriend. Like that was. Well, because it's super cute. Sure.

Absolutely. And yeah, I definitely felt, you know, I was always a little bit nervous around girls, but like around those girls, especially. Having that sense of like, oh, you have, I was always a little bit nervous around girls, but like around those girls especially. Really? Because having that sense of like, oh, I have nothing to offer you. Like I have no qualities that you will like. Were there a lot of those girls at your high school? Yeah.

I mean, it was Orange County. I like went to a lot of shows and stuff. Right. So I was like hanging out near those people, but, you know, still just dressed like a little goober who did drama club. Right. So, yeah. Well, why didn't you try to be like a greaser or something uh just like not knowing what to do like not knowing where to begin right and uh not knowing where to get not wanting to have pants that were too tight right

not not feeling uncomfortable in tight pants so there were a lot of barriers a lot of barriers to entry right right yeah see i am the opposite in that I love the way this looks. I have an extensive wardrobe of rockabilly-looking things, but I'm super not into those dudes at all. Do people come up to you after shows and try and engage you in stuff that you get lost in immediately? Oh, 100%. But I just freely go, no, I'm a total poser. I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm not what you think. Like, greaser guys and stuff hit on me all the time, and I'm just like, I'm sorry, I only look this way.

I'm mostly data content. Well, I kind of do. And I'm just like, I have nothing to offer you outside of this surface stuff. I'm like, if you want to go talk about Morrissey. And then they go, yeah, that's my whole thing. The service stuff. I've built my entire life around it. I bet people who are into

that would be fussy i bet like fussy to the point of not being fun to be around right although maybe because they want every detail to be like period specific yeah it is amazing like i i've gone to this there's this uh show in los angeles called inspiration. Is this a Scientology thing? Yeah, absolutely. Oh, boy, here it comes. April, you know, he's going to go on. You don't have to. They give you these two soup cans to hold.

Okay. I've actually done that, by the way. How'd that go? Hilariously. What was your? Sorry to totally interrupt. You're clear going in, right? I'm obsessed with it.

I mean, like, I don't know what is going to fit. I'm, like, obsessed with learning about it, whatever. And there's the L. Ron Hubbard Life Exhibition on Hollywood Boulevard that's, like, a free thing that you can go. And every time somebody comes to visit me, I take them there because it's hilarious. And there is a part where you can do the E-meter. And the lady is like, hey, I just – at the time, I just was trying not to – That would be funny if you did the E-meter and there's a little light that light up and it said hot tamale love meter

the love meter yeah but it's just a totally fake thing like she was like think of a sad thing that happened to you and of course all I'm thinking is like I can't believe how fake this is you poor lady and that's what I'm thinking and then the thing the needle went up a little bit and she's like see that's your sad memory and I'm like oh yeah you don't say

like I just felt I wasn't going to be rude to her. So I was like, yeah, that checks out. But, yeah. You're like, ha-ha, I was just thinking about the TV show Wings. Joke's on you, lady. Everyone loves the TV show Wings. Everybody, Stephen Webber, Tony Shalhoub, I was thinking about the whole gang. Fussy old lol.

Anyway, I'm sorry I totally interrupted you so this show inspiration is put on by this guy whose name is Rin Tanaka who is the king

of American of Americana but he is a Japanese dude and so there are all these like all these like

vintage reproduction clothing brands like super high end vintage inspired and vintage reproduction clothing brands there including a lot of japanese brands and there will be these like like there was this couple like a japanese couple i'd guess if i was going to guess their age i'd say 55 um maybe even a little older and he was dressed fully like he was a character in a 70s movie about the 50s

right um and she was basically dressed like uh like a painting on the side of a 50s themed diner right um like with you know like like high school style like they're both dressed like 16 yearyear-olds. Right. And it's the most amazing thing. Like I'm totally not against it. I'm basically for it. I think it's pretty fun.

Right. But. And clearly, you know, they're in the business. You know what I mean? Right. But like, geez, what do you do when you're just at the football game or Japanese equivalent? Well, I think that like. Like, do they ever dress down?

I have a hard time. I have a hard time because sometimes I am wearing a sport coat and my wife wants to dress more casually. Oh, really? And like, that's like, that's like 12 levels below the amount of details that these people are involved in. Yeah, but I can say from experience, because again, I dress like that and don't ever date do to do. And it's not for me. It's not a problem.

I'm just like, I'll just look super good and you won't like, I swear to God, that's what I think. I don't care at all. There's women across this nation who are listening to this podcast and just being like, yeah, well, that's every time you go on a date with a guy. Yeah, that's business as usual. Yeah. I think that – and I think something that's funny about having that very particular look is that anything you do looks a little ridiculous.

I just remember there being a goth guy at our college who was always drinking Sprite. And just being like, you – drinking a Sprite is so normal. But it like – it just becomes this absurd comedy because you have a weird dyed black flat top and monster boots. Yeah, there was a girl in my high school who always wore like foot tall boots, you know, like wedge style heel boots. Right. Like rubber, giant, enormous, and then up to her knees and like vinyl. She wore a lot of like fetish clothing. To high school?

Went to a weird high school. And like just seeing her sitting in the cafeteria just like eating a school lunch like chimichangas or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I probably, I'm sure there are people, I'm almost always overdressed. But to me, it's like, I really like clothes. I don't have anywhere else I'm going to wear them. I don't go to like balls or whatever. So if I have to wear this shit to work.

Well, maybe you should start going to more balls. I'm just saying I just like it. So it's like, hey, if I want to wear it, I'm going to wear it regardless of time or circumstance or who I'm hanging out with or, you know. I don't feel comfortable with you using our podcast as a platform to beg for invitations to balls. Well, it has to be done somewhere. I'm not going to any of them.

Fine, April. You can come to the podcast ball this year. Oh, you guys. It's such an honor. April, I have one. You're going to have to serve hors d'oeuvres. I have one invitation to the podcatillion. But you're going to have to explain to my wife why I'm taking you.

But I've got white gloves and a parasol that I'm eager to use. There you go. You have to dance the foxtrot with Mark. That's the one. In that case, never mind. That's part of almost every social interaction with Mark, though. Foxtrot, though. He insists that you... He has one of those organs in his living room in a Foxtrot setting.

You mean a calliope? Yeah. And he just presses it and says, shall we dance? That's the part that gets cut out of every WTF. Just the dancing? It's when he's Foxtrotting with the guest. That's the part that gets cut out of every WTF. It's the dancing.

It's when he's fox trotting with the guests. Can I talk about an affectation that I saw that kind of blew my mind? Yeah, of course. I was just at a bar doing bar stuff. Cool. Yeah. Sorry, I don't mean to brag, but I'm over 21 and can get into certain establishments. Yeah. Sorry, I don't mean to brag, but I'm over 21 and can get into certain establishments. Yeah.

And there was a girl kind of sitting alone at a booth and, you know, she had on three scarves and fingerless gloves and was one of these. Sure. Wait, what? A new romantic? Just, you know, one of these types. She probably has a lot of floppy hats. Yeah. Romper. I get what he's saying.

Okay. But I just, romper made tracks. Yeah. The other things, it just feels like a list of crazy things to me. Yeah, right? Well, that's the kind of person you see who just has on a bunch of crazy things. A crazy person? It was a homeless person. I'm going to be making fun of a homeless person here. This is my favorite. This makes fun of a homeless person.

Now I'm interested. Yeah, like Amy Mann in a Till Tuesday video, right? Yeah, sure. So this woman, she's alone and she is coloring in a coloring book. How old is... You're in a bar, so she's over 21. Yeah, so she is, I think, I would probably say creeping up on 30.

Okay. Coloring in a coloring book. I'm like, wow, this is like, this is all time, some all time look at me shit right here. No, you know, first of all, well, you're giving her exactly what she wants. Sure, I know, I know. She's like, ah, finally, this guy's talking about me. That reminds me, have you, since you live in my hood,

do you ever see that guy on Melrose who's wearing a bowler hat, has his face tattooed, hand on his chest, and he's riding a unicycle? Oh, I haven't seen him on a unicycle. I've seen him carrying a weird sign. He always rides by me on a unicycle. And look, I'm a very nice person. I treat people with respect, whatever. When that, I have never, I almost broke something.

I was like yawning. I made it on purpose i yawned when you rode by me just to let him know how over it you were i don't care yes that guy i see him all the time and i'm like look we get it we're all staring at you how great like yeah because that's 100 what that is that's all that is i mean even if you're super into writing a crazy person though yeah i think maybe what these people are – A colorful eccentric. What these people are doing are just growing into like local weirdo status. Yeah.

They maybe started 10 years too soon. Yeah, because I think – well, maybe I'm a hypocrite because I was just saying like I wear all this crazy shit. I don't give a – I mean I do because I like it. It's not on purpose to be like everybody look at me. But I feel like when you put in the level of effort of like, you brought a coloring book and crayons to this bar. If you want to color, color at your house. Was it crayons or markers?

I think it was crayons. I think it was just a standard Crayola. Maybe a 16 pack. Did it have the sharpener in it? No, a 16 doesn't have a sharpener. I think the first pack you're getting a sharpener is 24. What kind of coloring book was it?

Did you notice? What was her name? It was a Zach Braff coloring book. It was all Zach Braff's various roles. You guys, tell us, Jordan, tell us the name of your girlfriend. Fine. Her name is Petunia. I don't know what her real name is.

She said her parents are bullshit and that she identifies as Petunia now. identifies as Petunia now and we're making our own snow because there's no winter in LA and she just wants to like feel something. Did she play the shins for you and they changed your life? It did change my life. Yeah. I mean, I hadn't heard the shins before. I had heard a lot of similar music because that's what most music sounds like. But like that particular kind of that music really just spoke to me in a way. And yeah, and like Petunia is just amazing. And, you know, I think we're going to be very happy with our new career as traveling medicine salesman. Let's talk about what is – I don't know anything about bar etiquette. Sure.

I don't hang out at bars. Yeah, me neither. But let's talk about what is – You hang out at foam parties. Nothing. Exclusively. If it's not hosted by is... You're hanging out at foam parties. Nothing. Exclusively. If it's not hosted by Ray J, I am out. Hey, wait a minute.

You also don't drink, right? And I don't drink. Okay. I mean, I will go to a bar if there's some reason. Yeah. We had some meetups at bars recently, but there's no reason for me to pay $5 for my ginger ale. Right. Right.

I'm with you. Okay. So what is it? Let's say you're sitting at the bar alone or whatever at the booth alone. Sure. You spoke up in favor of comic books. Mm-hmm. Regular book?

Which is acceptable? You know what? I have been doing book at a bar recently, and I have done comic at a bar a couple of times. And I'm sure people look at me like, oh, fucking comic book guy reading a comic book. Whoa, what's going on with Spider-Man? So, yeah, I can see how – and again, maybe I was so annoyed with her. Maybe it's the dark mirror thing coming back. I don't think so.

That's far less. Maybe I recognize her. You didn't have as many props as she did. Yeah. And I genuinely wanted to read the comic book. Jordan usually wears fingerless gloves. Oh, okay. Well, then I take it back.

And a monocle. But that's because he likes to fucking pound the iron, right? Yeah, exactly. Reps. Oh, yeah. You go directly from weightlifting to reading a comic book alone in a bar. And then to selling matches outside the courthouse. I mean, April, I don't mean to be flippant

here, but yes, you definitely do go directly from weightlifting to reading a comic book alone at a bar. That is totally what a weightlifter would do. I'm sorry. I'm the uncool one, guys. Do you think that weightlifters start lifting weights because they're not

going to be reading a comic book alone at a bar? I'm totally mistaken. Reading a comic book alone at a bar. I'm totally mistaken. Reading a comic book alone at a bar is what drives weightlifters to lift weights. To get ripped. Yes. I'm sorry. I apologize to you, Jordan. Have you never heard Charles Atlas's origin story?

You must not have read any comic books alone at a bar. I feel like such a loser. Yeah, I lift weights and I remind myself what I'm going to look like by looking at Superman. What about playing a board game at a bar? It's not a board game bar. Yeah. You brought a board game. Oh, you brought a board game.

I think if you're going to play a board game in the bar, the bar should be supplying them. It should be something that you're going to the bar because you know it's a board game bar. Yeah. Is there such a thing as a board game bar? Totally. I think there are. Yeah, I think, you know, a time I had a really fun time playing a board game in a bar,

there's this Angel City Brewing downtown, and they have a bunch of board games, and there's like a night, and it was really fun. And I kind of like rolled my eyes a little bit as I was walking in, but then had a great time. Somebody told me to go to a nerd bar in Vancouver, and I declined the opportunity. What did that constitute?

It was called, like, the Dragon's Den or something. Dragon Breath Brewing or something. Sure. It was like, I looked at, so they added, messaged it on Twitter. Because I said, like, me and Brian were in Vancouver. We ended up going to the aquarium. We had, like, a six-hour block. It would be funny if the nerd bar was called the Neglected Penis.

And so they app messaged it. So what I know about it is basically the words that fit in the description on Twitter. Yeah. And the picture that was in the description of Twitter. But the Twitter background was – So it's a mother social media ninja. Yeah. Yeah, totally.

The background was – Dog mommy. The Iron Throne from Game of Thrones. And then the description said, Vancouver's best nerd bar playing sci-fi movies on big screen. Best nerd bar, so there's many? Storm Crow Tavern, Ryan told us is what it's called. And I'm not. I mean, God bless, but not for me. Brian Thomas is what it's called. And I don't – I'm not. I mean, God bless, but not for me.

It seems like – I mean, yeah. And I think that all these – I think all this stuff we're talking about is like it just – all this stuff is fine in concept but just hits a point where you're like it's too much. Yeah, that's my thing. Like I am not judging at all. Again, I like effort. I like enthusiasm. I think we're all judging. No, but I'm just saying I don't – it's too much. Yeah, that's my thing. Like, I am not judging at all. Again, I like effort. I like enthusiasm. I think we're all judging. No, but I'm just saying I don't, I'm too lazy, I think, to really go full on with that kind of stuff. I think if you're playing a game in a bar, I'd like there to be gambling.

Oh, yeah? I'm sure there is. Shooting dice seems like a good thing to do in a bar. Even just playing Yahtzee seems okay in a bar to me. Sure. If you're betting on Yahtzee. I don't know what the system is for betting on Yahtzee. I don't either.

I don't know how to play Yahtzee. Or a knife game of some kind. A knife game? Like who could get stabbed the most? Yeah. Who stabs the deepest? Yes. Who could let the knife enter the deepest into their skin.

That sounds super fun. See, that does sound fun. Let's write. I wonder if there's a comment box at the Stormcrow Tavern. I thought you were going to be like, let's play it right now. You got a knife? Let's do this. I have a switchblade.

I'm Rockabilly. Of course, yeah. April, that's just a comb. Have you ever ejected that thing? I do have a switchblade comb. That is a true thing I do have. I believe it. That helps you with that pompadour.

It does. Helps keep that. My sweaty pomp. That royal crown. What's a bridge too far for you, Jordan? Let's see. Oh, in terms of bar behavior? Yeah. I guess. bar behavior? Yeah.

I guess. Juggling? Yeah. Juggling. Juggalos. What about doing magic at a bar if people seem to be enjoying it? Is it a magic bar? No, it's not a magic bar.

You have not been hired. Is there a thing, a magic bar? You just went to a bar, you know some magic, and you're doing it to people that aren't your friends. Doing it to people. I'm going to do magic to you. Yeah, I'm talking about magic tricks. Open up for magic. I've got it. Prepare to receive my magic.

That's me. No, yeah, that's too much. I wouldn't want somebody to come up and do magic to me. Okay. If I was not going to a bar where the concept was someone will magic at you. Okay. If I was not going to a bar where the concept was someone will magic at you. Okay. So board games are okay if it's a board game bar. Yeah.

If that's part of their deal. But yeah, bringing one from home seems like too much to me. If it's a regular bar and it doesn't have a deal, what's the lowest thing that you think is not appropriate? Hmm. Interesting. I guess I'll have to go ahead and be okay with book comic book magazine. What about a glass of milk? How do you feel about

something like that? Does you buy it there? I'm anti that. That's gnarly. Don't drink milk at a bar. I kind of want to. Now that I've thought of it, I kind of want to drink milk at a bar. No. It's not ideal. Yeah. Are you buying the milk there or are you bringing your own milk?

You're buying the milk there. Yeah. I would freak out if I saw someone just drinking a giant. That's just straight up gross. Yeah, I think it's weird if someone ordered a glass of milk at a restaurant. Me too. Like if you were at a restaurant. What if it was buttermilk? Oh, yeah.

I mean that's fine. If you're a maid, you're a milk maid. Yeah, so I'm going to clown on somebody if they order milk at a restaurant too. I'm going to be like, we're adults. What are you doing? Don't drink. Yeah. Get your calcium elsewhere. I'm just trying to look after my bone health. Yeah, so I'm going to climb on somebody if they order milk at a restaurant, too. I'm going to be like, we're adults. What are you doing? Don't drink. Yeah. Get your calcium elsewhere. Look after my bone health. Yeah. Just trying to look after my bone health. No, that's gnarly. No thanks.

I don't want to end up some crackly bird bone. That's my stage name. Crackly bird bone. When you do rockabilly shows. Or when I'm doing the Charleston for the rockabilly crowds or whatever. Sure, yeah. Crackly bird bone. Crackly Birdbone and the Bird Beak 7. I like the idea of two guys really intensely playing chess against each other at a bar.

Yeah. I mean, again, I think- That totally happens, doesn't it? Yeah. I feel like I've seen that. Yeah. You don't not see that. Like they're angry and slightly Slavic?

Yeah. They might be young, though. I'm not saying they have to be old guys. I mean, if you're a 50-year-old immigrant, do whatever the fuck you want in a bar. Yeah, you were in the place. Or a donut shop. Yeah. Because that's where you're typically doing shit like that.

I have to say, the other day on Facebook, an old high school friend of mine posted a sad remembrance about this donut shop that used to be near my house in San Francisco. Like I say, like 20, 21st and Mission Street in San Francisco. And he said, you know, it closed. It's sad. You know, the yuppies are taking over everything. And I'm generally in favor of the yuppies taking over everything. But that donut shop was legitimately the most terrifying place on earth. But that donut shop was legitimately the most terrifying place on earth. Like it was a place where you would go for – to buy a donut and also order a contract killer. Oh, yeah.

Tang's on Sunset Closed and that was definitely the place in L.A. where you would go to seemingly have something taken care of and it was open all night. Really? One time our friend Bucky Sinister was telling me about how, well, it was famous for being a place where you could buy any drug you wanted. But he also said that later at night, people, like Bucky is in recovery, he's a former heroin user, people would just use heroin there. Just in the booths at the donut place. Yeah, in this donut place. Would you have to buy a donut? Was it like using the bathroom? It was like a customers only. Come on, it's not

a free space. Get yourself a Boston cream and get your spoon out. Do a little junk. Needles are for customers only. Yeah. So it's a shame that our nation's junky donut stores are being priced out.

Anyway, my rule for bars is you can order milk. You can. Or buttermilk. Okay. You can play any game as long as you're betting a significant

amount of money on it. If you lost, it would hurt. So then it's income contingent. Okay. If you lost, it would hurt. Like for you. So then it's income contingent. We're all kind of comfortably in the middle class here. Look, we're you two right on television. Yeah. I've got my own show on National Public Radio.

That's actually a bad example. That's the one thing that I do that actively loses money. But look, we're all doing okay. I think for us, I'm talking about 20 bucks a thing. Oh, all right. You know what I mean? Let's do it. 20 bucks a hippo feast. We're playing Hungry Hungry Hippos, by the way.

Yes. Well, in my mind, it's Yahtzee. Okay. I guess I don't know the rules of Yahtzee. Okay. It started out as craps. I don't know the rules of Yahtzee either. I swear to God, I don't either. And I think we had it when I was a little kid, and I never knew how to play it. It was like Yahtzee, Parcheesi.

I just know these as funny game names, but I don't know how they're played. Yeah. Rummy Cube? Sure, that's another one. Rummy Cube, I do know how to play, actually. Oh, okay. But Yahtzee, I just thought it was, you know, you want to throw sevens or whatever. Yahtzee is pretty straightforward.

Yahtzee, you have five dice and you have a card that lists every kind of poker hand. So like ones, twos, threes, fours, fives, sixes. Oh, so you're trying to roll poker hands. So you're trying to roll poker hands essentially. And once you, when you get them, you write down your score, which is the total of your dice, in the little box. But once you use that particular type of poker hand, you can't use it again. And you go through until all your boxes are full. Why don't you just play poker?

Because it's more – it's fun. What about meal board? When you were explaining that, I was thinking – I'd like to drop some money on meal board. Oh, my God. I used to play the shit out of that when I was a little kid. And I felt – I remember feeling smart because I'm like, these are French cards. You know, it's not just a card game.

Yeah, but it's all Francais. Yeah, it was fun. It was really fun. That's what Babar would play. That's what Muzzy would play. That's what Babar would play in his annual, like, all-night fucking gamble mania game against Muzzy. You know Muzzy and Bab are being the two most famous French people. And Gerard Depardieu.

And Tintin. They all get together for high stakes gambling on Millbourne. Aboard Tintin's yacht. I know, Tintin's Dutch or something same thing Jacques Chirac wants to get in on the game but they won't let him not famous enough

we'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go it's Jordan Jesse Go I'm Jesse Thorne America's radio sweetheart Jordan Morris boy boy detective. April Richardson, intense denim enthusiast. Sponsors on this week's program. It's only Selvage.

If you can't see the Selvage line, she's out. Sponsors on this week's program include Simple, banking without bullshit. No fees, free ATMs, an account that's supported by real people who actually care about you and your money. There's a really cool thing, this simple service. I talked to the guys who made it. It's like all of the – basically what they did is they looked at all of the things that are awful about bank accounts and said, how can we make all of those things not suck? All of the fees and all of the not being able to get somebody on the phone when you need to be able to get somebody on the phone and it being a hassle to deposit things and all that different stuff, they got rid of it for simple. And they also put in a really neat interface that helps

you manage your money, which includes automatic savings. They got a thing where they'll show you how much money you will have after you pay all your bills so that you will know how much money you actually have rather than to spend, rather than just the total deposits. Yeah, there you go. If you want to skip the wait list, go to simple.com slash jjgo. Simple.com slash jjgo. Just put in your email address and they will send you an invitation link. Someone asked me. I think it still asks you to sign up for the wait list, but it will skip you to the front of the wait list. So simple.com slash JJGo.

Also, our friends at Hulu Plus. Yeah, Hulu Plus. It's a place where you can watch all your favorite shows, Family Guy, Parks and Recreation, Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Community, South Park. And it works on your computer, smart TV, Roku, Apple TV, Xbox, PlayStation, pretty much any streaming device you own. Wait a minute, Jordan. That's pretty much every streaming device I own.

And you can get Hulu Plus on it, and you can also watch their original shows like Deadbeat, a comedy about a pot-smoking guy who talks to ghosts. $7.99 a month is a bargain. I mean, $7.99 a month would be a reasonable price to pay just to be able to watch every episode of Community in South Park. Absolutely.

But you can watch all the other shows, too. How many episodes of South Park could you watch in a month? A lot, right? Yeah. Because that show's been on for 50 years. And it's always been pretty funny. Sure. Like, you're sort of, every time you see it, you're like, hmm, that was pretty funny.

Yeah. How is it possible that this show is still pretty funny? Right? Well, you can find out if you sign up for Hulu Plus. You can get two free weeks by going to huluplus.com slash jjgo. That's huluplus.com slash jjgo for a whole extra free week over the free week that they ordinarily offer normal people. So right now probably your Aunt Flo is signing up for Hulu Plus, and she's only getting one free week.

Yeah, and she's just a euphemism for a period. HuluPlus.com. Okay, your Uncle Johnson, your friend Johnson. HuluPlus.com slash. Your friend Stiff Johnson JJ Go We also have something up on the Jumbotron this week Jordan, something from our friend Benjamin Harrison

Hey, looks like Ben Harrison's got a podcast called Let's Drink About It Listen as Ben and Chris explore the world of cocktails and occasionally add to the What's that word? Apocrypha Occasionally add to the apocrypha of it. With great comedy guests, you can't go wrong.

Go to letsdrinkabout.it to subscribe. This is a great show. They make a drink every week. What's apocrypha? Apocrypha is like various made up facts. It relates to the word apocryphal. You know the word apocryphal? Apocrypha is things that are apocryphal.

Great. It's a really cool show. They make a drink every week based on some kind of problem that they or their guests are going through or a listener. And I submitted one and they made a drink for me. And their guest, I believe, was Josie Long, the hilarious and brilliant Miss Josie Long, one of our favorite people in all of America. She doesn't live in America. This sounds like a great combination of cocktails and comedy. Yeah.

So Let's Drink About.it. Such a fun show. We highly recommend it. We'll be back with more in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, overstayed their welcome? We've had them for 12 years now. Here's the thing. I was a PA on the Ellen DeGeneres show during the season where Ellen... You should explain what the Ellen DeGeneres show is. This is a fun show with your mom's

favorite lesbian. Gotcha. Who will make passes at men to soften the whole thing. Right. And this is the season that she wanted to stop dancing. And Ellen said, like, hey, you know, this feels a little silly. You know, I did it.

I feel like I've danced. She had done the dance. Yeah. She had danced for her dinner. And outcry was so violent that she had to go back on the no dancing situation and she had to start dancing again i wonder and it's like moms you probably don't enjoy the dancing that much it's just this it's just this shock to regularity yeah you know I wonder if we would have a similar, a similar reaction.

Have you ever thought of me, and this is just a out of the blue question, as a Felicity-like figure? I mean, I kind of think of you like a Felicity Huffman. Oh, really?

Yeah, I mean, I recognize you from a bunch of stuff. You always do a great job. Maybe I don't know your name. Will you be my Bill Mason? Sure. Let's have an artistically productive bi-coastal lifestyle together.

Yeah, right? Sounds great. I think I'm worried that it could be our Felicity moment. We could get a haircut, so to speak. Right. And then we're out of luck. Yeah. Should we just ditch nicknames altogether?

You mean in the world? Yeah, should we eradicate all nicknames? I feel like I should leave the room for this. We should have a war on nicknames. For you guys to really hash this out. No, this is something that, and with the stockholders. We don't talk about this. April, we don't hash things out that way.

I'm just saying it just seems like this is a very serious, like fighting in front of the kids. Maybe I should... You're the reason we're ditching the nicknames. I don't know. Anyway. I think about it sometimes. Sure.

We've been doing it for a long time. They're silly names. I wonder what it's like to somebody who's never heard our show when they hear us say weird nicknames at the beginning. Yeah, it's like somebody's coloring at a bar. Yeah. They're just like a couple of bar colorers. Yeah.

A couple of unicycle riding, face tattooed. I wonder. Okay, let's clear our palates with a little bit of April Richardson stand-up comedy. What? Oh. No. Just ten minutes and then the burlesque show's coming on. So just, you know, just get people ready for the tits.

What? Yeah. Just prepare them. Whatever words you can, get ready for tits. Impending tits. Let's take our first call. Hey, Jordan, Jessica. This is Isaac from Kansas. And I have a momentous occasion for you guys i was working on a wall in a funeral home

when the entire fucking ceiling fell in on my head the dead are so mad at me right now also i was planning on finishing your guys's cars up this weekend however i will now be putting up a new ceiling so you guys have a good one. Bye. This guy made, okay, we'll get into this funeral home shit because there's a whole Chevy Chase Goldie Hawn movie to be made out of that situation. But I, uh, this guy, did you see the pictures this guy has been making out of exotic woods, replicas of the car, the race car in the Jordan Jesse go logo. Wow. That's great.

I know. It's amazing. He does it probably, I don't know, with an awl? Sure. I couldn't tell ya. Fine grit? Rough grit? Two different types of sandpaper? Various drills. Sure. How about a jigsaw?

Don't know. Couldn't say. Also, the roof thing made me go Tom Hanks, Shelley Long. Made me go Money Pit. That's where I went first. Sure. That's fair. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I went...

Fine. I went Jack Lemmon and... Yeah? I don't know. I went Faces of Death 6. Shirley MacLaine. Shirley MacLaine. Oh, yeah.

The world's most fucked up roof deaths. Yeah. Yeah. I miss Faces of Death. When are they going to reboot that series? When are they going to start recording people dying again? I'd like to see sort of like, it's like Faces of Death

but kind of, sort of like the Chris Nolan Batmans. Like it's sort of grittier. Yeah, it's more in the real world. A little more grounded. Like get a really legit actor. It is weird that they stopped making them because they can't be expensive to make. Yeah.

What's the budget on a Faces of Death? I mean, if you go into this one donut shop, you can just get men to... I know a donut shop on Sunset. It's closed. It's gone. You can make seven Faces of Death there. Where am I going to get... Where am I going to hire my guys?

People have still got to be running in front of trains and stuff. Oh, they got to be. Yeah. Alligators still have to be eating monkeys. People are getting smarter. Yeah. Of course, someone is filming something. Oh, let's take another.

Wait, no. We have to talk about the fact that this is a funeral home. Yeah. He's cursed. He might be. Do you think that these cars, it sounds like I thought it was only one car before. But if he's making two cars, maybe it's one for each of us. Maybe.

Maybe he's making one for Sunny D. Maybe it's a whole fleet. He could be making one model one and one large enough for you guys to drive. One real car out of wood? Yes. I would like to drive a wood car. It's exotic. Don't underestimate this guy.

I don't want it to be like pine, though. What if it's a nice balsa? No, balsa's too lightweight. I want... What about a balsamic? What about a nice balsamic? How about a Bolognese teak? Yeah, that's great.

Okay, great. What a nice Bolognese. Saying B words now. If I think of any, I'll chime in. Bartleby the Scrivener? Yeah. Let's take another call. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, go.

This is Sydney in Chicago, Illinois. I was a very momentous occasion. I am in the grocery store doing my nightly grocery shopping. And I look over to see a man consuming half a jar of peanut butter with a banana. I assumed that he was going to purchase the peanut butter and banana, but later I came upon this man again, and the jar

of peanut butter was gone. So it's my assumption that he has consumed the entire thing and disposed of the body. Yeah, thanks. Have a great day. You know where I think he's got it hidden? The Orange Grove?

Oh, up his butt. Jesse made the universal up his B symbol. Yeah, that way he can enjoy his nightly grocery shopping plus his nightly prostate stimulation. Well, is it also kind of like the butt chugging thing where it's like if you put it up there, your body absorbs the peanut butter faster. Oh, sure. Right. And you get to enjoy the benefits of it faster.

Right. It goes right to your, yeah. You go to the doctor because you're not feeling well and he says, can you, this is a little gross, so I apologize. Oh, okay. He says, can you tell me about the consistency of your stool? And you say, chunky. That's gross.

I'm really sorry. Natural. It has a layer of oil on top. Yeah. It's really gross. I don't even like poop jokes. I like that she called it in right away. I like that she goes grocery shopping every night.

Nightly grocery shopping. She lives in an era not just before refrigerators but before ice delivery. Totally. Nothing keeps at her house. Or maybe she eats only fish and her power's out. Could be. That's probably what it is.

That's the likely scenario. She's probably a cat who only eats seafood and likes it fresh. And can talk on the phone. Although I do like that that guy was using the banana as the spoon. Yeah, that's kind of like, I mean, depending on the peanut butter, that's kind of like, I mean, I would think the banana would break off in there. That's true.

That's what I'm wondering about. Unless it was a green banana. What if it was unpeeled? He's just scooping it. Oh, he's like just using the. Straight scooping. Not even eating the banana. Puts the banana back.

April, he might have been straight scooping. Steady scooping. Yeah. Dude was steady scooping. Not even eating the banana. He might have been straight scooping. Steady scooping. Dude is steady scooping. Straight up scooping. Totally. And he just used that and then put the, you don't know. Maybe he licked the banana corn. Yeah, and it doesn't matter.

He flated the banana until it had no more peanut butter and just puts it back on the pile. And then that's not even gross though because you're going to peel the banana. Right, that's true. It doesn't even affect you in any way. Can I tell you what kind of banana I would use if I were him? So it's a victimless crime is what I'm saying. I'd go with plantanos machos. Is that like a giant Mexican banana?

Is that a thing? It's precisely what it is. That's exactly it is a giant Mexican banana. Central American banana, maybe. Sounds good. Could be a Central American banana. You can probably get a lot of peanut butter onto one of those big guys. Yeah. Nice part about having

a Latino supermarket near you is just name the kind of banana you want. Giant. No fucking shortage of types of banana. I like it. You know what? I have bad news about El Superior. Oh no. They had a legendary Googie style facade that they're removing. Sorry to hear that.

I know. What's the El Superior gonna be without the Googie-style facade that they're removing. Sorry to hear that. I know. What's the El Superior going to be without the Googie-style facade? It'll have another kind of facade. Faux craftsman. Oh, boy. I'd rather have authentic Googie than faux craftsman. Well, times they are a-changing. There's so few Googie facades left. I don't know what to tell you.

Well, maybe we should put a Googie facade on MaxFunWorld headquarters. It's really the only solution. Can you buy their facade? Buy the facade of the O of the Superior that they're removing. That's not a bad idea. Yeah. Transplant the facade.

This is good. This is sounding very googie. But people might come in looking for big Mac and Bananas. Yeah. Then what are you going to do? You got to have them on hand. Do I have to have all the different? Do I have to have those little tiny bananas too? No, I thought they just had giant ones. They got giant ones. They got regular ones

like you see at their Safeway. Sure. They got little tiny ones. They got green ones. They got plantains. I like all of them. Like starchy ones. Yeah. That's five different kinds of just bananas. Right. We got plantains. I like all of them. Like starchy ones. Yeah. That's five different kinds of just bananas. Right. Sounds like a great place.

You, I should explain. You would know them as nanners. Nanners? Is that because I'm southern? Yeah, it's because you,

it's because you would know them as nanners. Oh, okay. A lot of people know them as nanners. Yeah, like babies.

Are you calling us babies? You would know them as bananas. I'm saying April might know them as nanners. Oh, like babies. Are you calling us babies? You would know him as Bananas. I'm saying April might know him as Nanners. Oh, so just call me a baby. She's calling April a baby. I didn't say anyone is a baby. I just said she might know Bananas as Nanners. Right.

I also know him as Bananas. Yeah, we also know the word banana. We're adults. We can call him Bananas. We've been around the block a few times. I'd rather you call them Nanners. Okay. Can I? Jesse, I block a few times. I'd rather you call them nanners. Okay. Can I?

Jesse, I have a Roth IRA. I can call them bananas. I don't even have that. I've got a SEP, and I insist you call them nanners. All right. You know what? You're right. We have a lot of fun.

Yeah. Just talking about nanners and googie. Is there another call? Yeah, I hope there is. Don't want to go out on this nanner stuff. No. Brian? Hi, Jordan.

Hi, Jesse. Hi, Go. My name's Steve. I'm driving home, and I'm behind a Cyan TC and in the back are two dogs that are and like the guy

in the he's swatting at the one dog and he's like hitting him in the head and he's driving off into this oh dude don't fucking cross your car and he's swatting at the one dog in the head, and he's driving off into this, into this, oh, dude, don't fucking crash your car. And he's sliding up to one dog in the head, and the dog's just like, doesn't care.

He's going to town. Oh, my God. This is the best fucking day of my life. Thanks, guys. Bye. Congratulations on reaching a new peak of achievement. Wait, what? Dogs were fucking in the car?

Yeah, is that what was happening? Well, you guys are making a pretty big assumption. I guess so. His phone cut out when he said exactly what they were doing. Yeah, but he also said it was the best day of his life. So if that doesn't include dog fucking, sorry about your terrible life, dude. We have severely different definitions of best day of your life. Yeah.

It could have been any of a number of things. They could have been... Writing a book together? life. Yeah. It could have been any of a number of things. They could have been... Writing a book together? Sure. Sure. Yeah. They could have been adding a googie facade to a local supermarket. I don't think they were doing that.

They were in a car. They were fucking... Those dogs were fucking... Oh! What? What? Yeah. Hawk.

Hawk. Auga. Dog penis. You think they were big dogs or little dogs? I hope one was big and one was little. Yeah. Honk, honk. Auga. Dog penis. Do you think they were big dogs or little dogs? I hope one was big and one was little. And the little one was doing the fucking. Yeah. We can all agree that's the most hilarious kind of dog fucking.

Train's coming into the station. Ladies and gentlemen, Pitbull. The rap artist, not the dog. My wife used to have a housemate in college. And they lived in a real old house. And she would do a lot of fucking. And when she would fuck, she would say, Train's coming into the station!

Shut up. No. That's not real. Why would one say that? That's not real. This is your wife's housemate, right? Not your wife? My wife's housemate, not my wife. This is a sketch on the Carol Burnett show. Yeah, that is not real.

That is not real. Her roommate was Martin Mull. Yeah, exactly. Her roommate was Tim Conway as Dorf. Yeah. The trains coming into the station? And your wife's housemate was of college age. She wasn't in a housemate with an 80-year-old woman.

A 21-year-old. And she said that. Yeah. Every time? Trains coming into the station. Not without exception. Sometimes she would yell, the blimp is landing. Yeah, I just can't wrap my mind around that.

That's insane. Was she crazy? Was she like an autist? No, just an enthusiastic humper. I would eject my penis at least. That's what I'm saying. I would withdraw. Yes.

Just remove your penis. Eject it. Press the penis. Like a Faces of Death VHS tape from a VCR. That is perfect. That is insane. That's beyond insane. How does a man –

And you can't see – if you're enthusiastic, there's no better way to make sure that will never happen again. Can Teresa get this woman on the phone? Yeah, that guy will never come back. I don't think they have a close relationship. I mean if you knew someone who did that on the reg, would you keep their phone number handy 10 years later? After you graduated. I mean, I guess I would only for this very purpose. Yeah, I mean, in case someone—

For when I told people and they didn't believe me. Yeah, like, okay. Do you think maybe she's yelling something new now? Like, you know— She's updated it. The Prius is coming into the charging dock. Yeah, let's plug in that hybrid. Plug my hybrid into your...

I just can't even... That's insane. It's true. Yeah. True story. It's just a fun story. They also, you know, they'd make fried rice. Okay, that I believe.

All right, well, she has redeemed herself. I think a lot of fried rice. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jessica. Here we go. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you.

Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you.

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Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. and gay issues and we treat them with much less respect than they deserve and we do it every week. It's politics, it's comedy, it's absurdity, it's a lot of hairstyles.

Oh, so many hairstyles. Absolutely. Just in your head picture people with a bunch of wigs on talking smack and smoking dope. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweet la, la, la, la, la.

It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. April Richardson, head train conductor. April, it's been a joy to have you here. It has. Thank you for having me. It's been a delight.

I'm really excited to go to future Rockabilly conventions. Hey, you guys, Viva Las Vegas every year. You're welcome to come with me next year. Thank you so much. Like I have anything to do. Like I'm on the committee. That is really nice. We're welcome to buy tickets when they go on sale. With the general public. And also maybe if you need to drive behind me on the way to

Vegas, like directions-wise, so you don't get lost, you can do that too. Thank you. That's amazing. Sure. I could put together an outfit suitable for Viva Las Vegas, the conference. I'm sure you could. I have a shirt that I bought that has pictures of barbecue implement. You know, like a 1960 dad sports shirt. You're thinking of dad con.

Like tongs and stuff. Yeah, like tongs and sausages and stuff. Yeah. I like it already. It has a matching chef's hat. Wait, is it a button-down shirt? Yeah, it's like a sports shirt from like 1960. That came with a matching chef's hat.

Yeah, it's awesome. I haven't worn it yet, but I'm really excited about the first time I barbecue in it. It's going to be great. Please send pictures. Why do you think that's appropriate for the rockabilly thing? Well, it's from 1960. Because guys in the 60s like sausages. That's true.

I have heard that. I'm going to this thing because I like sausages. Oh, wow. Okay. That's my whole deal. Sure. Sausages in a band where the drummer is standing up and playing one snare drum. Snare drum in a cymbal.

When I was buying this shirt on eBay, you know what was going through my head? Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum. Wait, when you bought the shirt on eBay, what was your search? Button down, sausages, tongs? Barbecue shirt in vintage 1930 to 1965 or whatever it is. Oh, okay. All right. Yeah, because I knew that this kind of barbecue shirt existed. Really?

Yeah. Did more than one result come up? Well, I had a saved search. Oh. I had seen one of these barbecue shirts. I think I have a t-shirt with barbecue sauce on it. Can I wear that to the convention? I had seen one of these barbecue shirts, but they wanted like 200 bucks for it or something.

I was like, I'm not prepared to drop 200 bucks on this barbecue shirt. Right. But then I was like, I'm going to save a, uh, a search in the vintage area for barbecue, BBQ shirt. eBay is smart enough to know that to look for BBQ or barbecue. Right. You know,

I can look for both. How long did you have to wait until your search was fruitful? I mean, six months. Oh, wow. I'm a patient man. Yeah.

And I strike when the iron is hot. You've earned the shirt. No, I fucking earned the shit out of it. And now I'm going to go out there with my big green egg, start smoking. Smoke some hot links maybe. I love sausage. Sausage can mean either it's like a food or it means a penis.

Sure. As a lady, I get it. I'll use a different word that you would understand. A nanner. Yes, that too. That's what I say. I'm like, and the nanner has landed. The male nanner.

That's what I say. April, besides enjoying your humor on the television program Chelsea Lately, can people who use the internet enjoy your humor? They absolutely can. I do a podcast on which Jordan has been a guest called Go Bayside. It's a very popular podcast where people, where you watch an episode of the hit television program Saved by the Bell. That's right.

And then you reminisce about it. That's right. With a special guest. That is 100% what happens. If I could recommend two episodes other than my own. Yes, other than my own. Yes. Other than yours, of course.

I think definitely some of the hardest I laughed at a podcast recently were the episodes you did with Chris Fairbanks and Jimmy Pardo. They each did one part. Because they're total opposites. Wait. And they both hated Saved by the Bell. Yeah. And it's really, really compelling listening. Yes. And it's really great to hear people who have no emotional connection to the show just talk about how stupid it is.

Because I try to do that. I try to get guests that are obsessed with it like me, but then also guests that have never seen it. How many Saved by the Bells are there? Like 80-something? 83 episodes or something? How many episodes of your show have you done? Because it's been around and quite popular for quite some time. I've already done like 65.

What are you going to do when you run out of episodes? Are you including the college? Ask me when I stop crying. Are you including the college years? No, I don't like the college years and I don't like Miss Bliss. So you're not going to do the college years? I'm not going to do the college years. Even when you run out of episodes of the original?

I'm not. I'm going to do the original. Are you just going to switch to Sabrina the Teenage Witch? Well, it's funny. I was talking to Jordan on the drive over here because there's not really any other TV show that I have such like that. There's so much wrapped up. You feel that way about California Dreams?

Absolutely not. There's no other one that I have so memorized like that and that I watched every day when I got home from school and all that kind of stuff. So I'm going to have to figure out something else. Pinky and the Brain? No, I really don't. I'll figure out my next move when I'm done with this brain. No, I really don't. I'll figure out my next move when I'm done with this. But yeah, I have the rest of this.

And then there are two. I'm going to do the two movies, though. I am going to do the movie where they all go to Hawaii. Wait, there's movies? Yes. In theatrical movies? 3D, I bet.

Christopher Nolan brought a grittier, darker aesthetic. They did not enjoy a theatrical release, but they are movie-like. In Guam, very popular in Guam. Do they run on television? Are they available on digital versatile discs? Yes, they are. I do have them both on DVD.

And they were on television during the run of the show, but it's the one where Zach and Kelly get married in Vegas. And there's one where they all go to Hawaii. When Jordan was on your show, did he talk about the time that Screech was on our show? I don't remember. I don't think so. Yeah. Was he a jerk to you? Yeah.

He was really – He was horrible. He wasn't a jerk to us. He was on our college radio show. Oh, okay. And was just really – just a strange dude. Yeah, of course. Just told a lot of like weird racist one-liner jokes.

Yeah. Yeah, and I actually have yet to read his book. A lot of guests that I've had are like, oh, you got to read it. I'm like, I don't really want to. I don't want to know anything about his dick. I hear there are a lot of typos in it. And I also heard a bunch of it is lies, like just straight up lies. Like the other cast members are like, this isn't true at all.

But more than enough is about his dick. He wouldn't talk about Saved by the Bell at the time. He also wouldn't talk about his band. And he also wouldn't talk about his chess instructional videos. Have you seen his chess? So all that was left was his horrible racist and slash. I remember him telling some like people in wheelchairs jokes. And I was like, I, the thing, the,

the moment that I remember from Dustin diamond being on our show and I may be, it's on the website. If you, if you Google it, you can probably find it. But the moment that I remember remember is and this 12 years later i may be making this up completely but it was us being like him telling some horrible jokes that were offensive and us being like hey let's talk a little bit about your act and then he went this is my act oh no so that's all he was doing was like but he and did he actually tell you ahead of time like don't ask No, he just refused to answer questions. Oh, oh.

Even worse. That's terrible. We asked him, I remember we asked him a real question and he said he didn't want to answer that question. And then we asked him another real question and he said he didn't want to answer that question. Then we just asked him, who is the tallest guy on Save by the Bell? And then he just

launched into a bit. He wouldn't answer that. He wouldn't answer that either. He just told wheelchair jokes. That's so... See, no. Yeah, there have been a few people that have been like, I bet you could get him as a guest.

And I'm like, I'm good. You know, I'm sorry. You could get one of the ones that's not horrible. Well, I'm working on Zach. I'm working on Zach. He's a pretty talented and charming actor. He is super nice.

I've met him a couple times and he was very kind. Very, aged very well. Zach looks good. He's a handsome man. Zach looks good. Still real good looking. Looks way better than Mario Lopez. Yeah. Maybe just he has more dignity than Mario Lopez. That's what I'm picking up on. Mario Lopez

has got those dimps though. He does got the dimps. He's got those dimps. Dimps! Pwe pwe pwe. Dimps are still going strong. Well, and it was 40. I'm trying to be an air horn there. Dropping bombs on them dimps.

You know what? I like the dimps. Let's run it back. Run it back. Got them dimps. Dimps, dimps, dimps, dimps. Well, April. Yeah. It's really been a lot of fun. dims dims dims dims well April yeah it's really been a lot of fun

to have you on the program thank you again for having me no problem Jordan you're on Twitter at Jordan underscore Morris yep that's a lot of fun too

it is and of course our thanks to Simple rebuilding banking from the ground up the way it should be, putting people before policies, and helping you find clarity in your finances. You can skip the wait list. Just go to simple.com slash jjgo.

That's simple.com slash jjgo. And, hey, Hulu Plus, another fine sponsor of ours that you should check out. Go to huluplus.com slash JJ Go. Two free weeks. And I want to mention that if you are one of those people, those crazy people who listens to this show the very day it comes out and you live in Los Angeles, tonight, Monday night, May whatever the fuck, 5th I think, I am having a meetup with NPR's Guy Raz from the TED Radio Hour, among many other fascinating jobs. Go to MaximumFun.org. We will post it there, the exact details, but it will be 9 to 10 p.m. somewhere in central Los Angeles.

So hang out with me and Guy Raz. Jordan, you're invited, too. I just don't want to presume that you'll be there. I've got a thing. Brian, you can't come. April, $10. Oh, okay. That's fair. $10 cover. Sorry, we're already going to the podcaster's ball.

Yeah. Burn. I have to buy a gown for the cotillion. Our producer is Sonny D. Brian Fernandez. Our theme music is Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. You can go to

MaximumFun.org. You can like us on Facebook where we've been posting fun pictures of different fun stuff like those cars. We post a picture of those cars in progress. Yeah, totally.

Posted a lot of cool pictures of our Pacific Northwest tour. Posted a cool article about Kiss. Yeah, so basically we're really fun guys. You should follow us everywhere we go. Do the things we say. Yeah. We'll talk to really fun guys. You should do. You should follow us everywhere we go. Do the things we say.

Yeah. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.