Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 341: Thirty-Five with Kulap Vilaysack

Episode Date: September 8, 2014

Podcaster and comedian Kulap Vilaysack joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the top three things that are bothering Jesse, Jordan's experience at Burning Man and Kulap's new documentary.

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. I brought in some prepared material this week, Jordan. Oh, terrific. Okay, it's the top three things that are rubbing my last nerve. Oh boy.

Top three things that are rubbing... You're going Oh boy. Top three things that are rubbing... You're going to go off on one of your signature rants. Three of my signature rants. Okay. Okay. Let's talk about them. Number one... Do you think you can come up with two other things that are sticking in your craw? Five seems like a better number for a list to me. No, top three.

Okay. Haven't you heard of the rule of threes? Yeah, but then four, they're annoyed, and then five, they think it's funny again. I'm sticking with three. I'm a positive guy. I have a positive energy. Not that many things are upsetting me right now. Only three things are upsetting me.

It's an all-time low for you, isn't it? I'm not here to be disingenuous, Jordan. Yeah. I just want to let these things go so they quit rubbing my last nerve. Do you want to maybe, just in case you want to do five, do you maybe just want to let these things go so they quit rubbing my last nerve. Do you want to maybe, just in case you want to do five, do you maybe just want to do a quick glance at Twitter and see what people are remembering that you don't like? That's a good point. Yeah. Someone did try and launch the hashtag yesterday, tried to launch the hashtag, hashtag Jesse Thorne the worst.

What? Are you serious? Yeah. What was the – I'm sorry. I don't want to ask you to – okay. But they were nice enough to at message me. Oh, that's nice. They include me.

Okay. Just in case I would miss it otherwise. Yeah, that's always really nice of like people when they're – I mean I get on Twitter you want to like – you know, you want to sound off. You want to get in there. You want to do the conversation. Yeah, you want to talk about what's rubbing your last nerve. Sure. But you definitely want to let the people who you're complaining about know that you're

complaining about them. Right. Okay. Absolutely. Because- Perhaps the- Hold on. Who is this person?

Just God. Just God. Perhaps this is a campaign. Hi, Lord. Hey, how's it going? Oh, good. Good to see you. You look great, by the way, Lord. Thank you. Thank you so much. I've been working out.

You're jacked, God. Jesse, perhaps it's starting of a campaign to get you on the show, You're the Worst. Oh. Oh, on FX. It's a great show. That's what I hear, and a friend of mine from high school is the star of it. And I had no idea she was the star of it until this week. I just found out. Oh, on FX. It's a great show. That's what I hear. And a friend of mine from high school is the star of it.

And I had no idea she was the star of it until this week. I just found out. I had cashed the star of a show on FX. Well, that's probably what it is. That's probably what it is. God loves that show. But I'm going to go back. God loves edgy basic cable comedies.

Kulab Velaisak is our guest on the program. She, of course, is the co-host of the podcast Who Charted. And the creator of all that is. That's true. All that is and all that will be. Alpha and Omega, Kulab-Velizak. As well as an actress, comedy entertainer celebrity. Oh, celebrity.

That's a little. That's too much. comedy entertainer celebrity. Oh, celebrity. That's a little, that's too much. I recently spotted her in an episode of Ed Helms' web series, Tiny Commando. Oh! So she's in that.

The three things that are rubbing my glass nerve, okay? Number one, I was making guacamole or guacamole for a party later. I'm not bragging, but I'm going to a party later. And I was nominated to bring a dip. Chips and dip. That's what I was supposed to bring, chips and dip. So I'm making guacamole. My guacamole is excellent. Right before I was about to squeeze the lemon into the guacamole, I somehow got a paper cut on my thumb. Were you doing your taxes while making guacamole? There were no envelopes

there. I have no idea how I managed to get a paper cut, but in the moments before. Yeah. Somehow. Maybe I cut my thumb on an avocado. I don't know. I didn't cut it with a knife. Well, maybe you have a very sharp ginsu that you didn't even notice the blade. Because I was in shock. Yeah. Yeah, that's probably what it was. Yeah.

How's your ginsu? My ginsu's great. No, I got a great ginsu. I hear it brings all the boys to the yard. That's thing number one. Is mystery paper cuts? Just this one. Okay.

While I was trying to make this one. This one specific one. And it threw my- You're going to want to make these universal, Jesse. It threw my- People should be able to relate to these. These are so specific. These are what is rubbing my last nerve.

This show isn't for other people. Oh. Excellent point. And I didn't know other people. Oh. Excellent point. And I didn't know we were talking about your actual nerves. Yeah, right. It sounds like your actual nerve got rubbed. Number two, and this one I think is going to be a lot more universal than the first one. I mean, not everyone has gotten a paper cut inexplicably right before they were about to put lemon juice in their guacamole.

Right before they were about to put lemon juice in their guacamole. Number two is, like so many people, I take the 8th Street exit from the 110 to get to work every morning. Who hasn't? Yeah. Who among us hasn't? Across this great nation, everyone is taking the Highway 110 south. Sure. And they take the 8th Street exit to get to the Westlake District. take the 8th Street exit to get to the Westlake District.

Whether it's factory workers in the Rust Belt to Wall Street fat cats down on Madison Avenue. To Florida retirees. Everybody's taking the 8th Street exit. Yeah. So I drive down 8th Street and for a while there was this weird empty corner storefront. And 8th Street, not economically vibrant, is how I would decline to describe it as economically vibrant. That doesn't pretty happen in Yoshinoya. Yoshinoyas exist just for, like, drug drops, right?

I think so. That's the only way. Well, do you know the Yoshinoya rap song from the radio? I don't think I do. Do they only play that on the rap station? I don't know. Cool Up, I don't know if you ever listen to the rap station or if it comes on the pop station that you listen to to prepare for your program. I have not heard this.

Yoshinoya bowls are bowls are better than theirs, better than theirs because they're made fresh. Who are they lashing out against? Who else is making bowls? Who's the bowl competition? I don't know. KFC? Yeah, maybe they're better than a famous bowl. Yeah, like Patton's bit about KFC.

There was an empty storefront for a long time, and then a fucking miracle occurred from my perspective, which is that it turned into a Korean baseball academy. Now, how they fit a Korean baseball academy into a weird storefront, I have no idea. I might have driven past this and gone, what the fuck? Yeah. How is that? A baseball academy?

I know. Indoors. An indoor, in a storefront, baseball academy. I mean, is this to capitalize off the popularity of arena football? Is it going to be arena baseball league where the ball just bounces off the ceiling? That's pretty much what – like you could fit like a four-hole mini golf course in a storefront maybe. Like I'm talking about a – big for a corner store but small overall. It's like maybe an old Hollywood video or something.

But as you know, Jordan and Kulap, you're about to learn. Oh, boy. I'm quite the baseball enthusiast. And I was thinking to myself, I don't speak Korean, and I'm a little scared that whatever's going on inside there is too intense for me. But I was thinking maybe I'll get over it and go in there and hire a baseball instructor. Just like for private baseball lessons? Yeah, just like the way some other dude, you know, like the way that... You get a tennis coach.

Yeah, exactly. Like a tennis coach. Like a tennis pro at the club. Yes. I would want a batting cages coach. And then whenever I went to the batting cages, I could really wallop a few because my techniques improved. Because I never got to the level – I quit playing baseball at 15. And so I never got to the level where they actually teach you anything.

You want to really, like, impress those rowdy teens who hang out at the batting cage. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. You want them to spit out their monster energy drinks. They're so impressed with the cuts you're taking. Jordan, you'll notice something about this conversation that we're having right now. It's all positive.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The subject of this segment is not three things that look like they could be great opportunities for activities for Jesse. Although I like that for a segment. Three potential fun ideas. We could probably start with that roller rink adult class I was thinking about taking.

Homemade slip and slide out of a garbage bag. Yeah, that's two. Oh, man, you know what I've been thinking about? Homemade slip and slide with a garbage bag? It's something that's almost exactly like that. You've got a little slope in your yard, right? Could you go downhill? Could this be a – It's something that's almost exactly like that. You've got a little slope in your yard, right? Could you go downhill? Can I tell you what I was specifically, what I literally have been thinking about a lot that is very much along those lines?

Please. You get plastic sheeting from the Home Depot. Okay. And you fold it over. You get like a 12-foot length. You fold it over long-wise. And then you use an iron to iron the edges, and they fuse. Or you can just use duct tape.

And you leave a little bit open. You fill it with water from your hose, but not like so it's hard, so it's sort of gloopy. And then you seal the end. And then your toddler jumps around on it and fucking loves you because you're a great dad. That's a positive thing. It's not part of the segment. Do they go on it? Are you making like an artificial womb?

No, you don't. You don't wash it. You should make it. Shut up, artificial. You stay there. You remember this shit from a few years ago? Time out. Get back in the womb.

Oh, sorry, Dad. So there's this Korean baseball academy. I like there being a fake womb for timeout just to make sure to give your kid the weirdest Oedipal complex. There's a Korean baseball academy, and I can look. I can just sort of like when it has one of those. The window is one of those all-over decals. So you can't really see inside. Is it green? Is it a big green one?

White and green, I think. But what I would do is I was so fixated on it, and I drove past it every morning, so I would stare it down on the way to and from work. And sometimes the door would open. Someone would be going in and out. And I could see there was batting cages in there and serious-looking Korean men.

There's only one kind. I'm sorry. Do you think that one of the reasons Psy was such a phenomenon was he was the first fun Korean guy ever? I don't know. There's a pretty goofy Taekwondo instructor out there. So I was really excited about this until one day this week it fucking disappeared, stone cold, line in the sand, and inexplicably became a used cardio equipment store. Okay. Something shady is happening, right?

There are fronts for something. When I say used cardio equipment store, I don't mean that it has signs or it has like a paper sign in the window and just a bunch of fucking treadmills on the sidewalk. The rent on this place can't be more than $200. I'm sure there's some sort of like, this

kind of reminds me of the Breaking Bad plotline where they're deciding whether to buy the laser tag place or the car wash. I'm sure there's some sort of like money this kind of reminds me of the Breaking Bad plot line where they're deciding whether to buy the laser tag place or the car wash. I'm sure there's some sort of like money laundering going. That's right. And somebody's like, Korean baseball. And somebody else is like, used cardio equipment. Pretty soon it's going to be a Brazilian product store. Sure, yeah, yeah.

Number three. Maybe they noticed you, like, maybe they thought you were like the government creepily checking them out. You could be a narc, Jessie. That same guy keeps looking at us. Shut her out of the windows. He just keeps wistfully looking in the window and then taking some practice swings. So that's number two. Is this bullshit about the Korean Baseball Academy that had been the home of my dreams. And when you work as many hours as I do and have as many small children as I do,

you have to have a physical place to put your dreams. Sure. You know what I mean? Just somewhere. Maybe you thought about constructing some sort of catcher. Seems implausible. Yeah. Well, what am I going to do with all these feathers and turquoise?

You have to take some kind of Native American shaman to do that. Yeah, that's true. So that's number two. Number three, I don't have a garage in my home here in Los Angeles. I have a garage, but it's very small and we use it for storage because there's no storage in the house. You store your famous Christmas display in there, right? Oh, yeah.

Sure. Yeah. Sure. Your. Sure. Your Santa bubble. Yeah, and all the hot stuff you can buy this year at Neiman Marcus. My house is in Neiman Marcus. Oh, that's cool. I –

There's a glove counter. Yeah. You still have a specific counter for gloves? I do, yes. That's great. And I have got standalone brand shops. Oh, good. Yeah, so that's good.

Like a Godiva? Yeah, G-Shock. Oh, yeah. That's what Neiman Marcus is known for. Godiva and G-Shock watches. And a counter specifically for gloves. Yes, yes, yes. For women's long gloves.

Yeah, yeah. G, G, and G. Sure. You got gloves, we got Godivas. That's why if you go into a Neiman Marcus, go up to the counter and say, are you guys G, G, G? Yeah. This is Dan Savage's three tenets for a perfect relationship. You got to have gloves.

You got to have Godiva's. And you got to be dressed in G-Shock. Okay. So I have to park my car on the street, which is fine. Oh, yeah. I am. I'm not a man of the people. Yeah, exactly.

You can get out there and hobnob with your public. Every time I speak into this microphone, vox populi, voice of the people. Okay? Latin, I guess. So that's the good news. That's the good news. I'm a man of the people. The bad news is there's an electrical line over the parking space in front of my house. And let's be clear.

I'm not going to park down the fucking street. You're parking in front of the house. I'm a homeowner. Sure. I got these two parking spaces in front of my house. I'm going to fucking use them. What if you got groceries? What if you got gear you're lugging in?

You got it. You know exactly what I'm talking about. What if I got to carry the bass amp for my cool dad garage band? Sure, yeah. There's a lot in that garage. So there's an electrical line. There's an electrical line that runs over my parking spot. Okay.

Guess what kind of fucking birds. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Here we go. Guess what kind of fucking birds have been shitting on my jaguar. Well, I'm going to guess maybe a- A goldfinch. A beautiful sparrow.

No, you're both incorrect. The answer is fucking crows. I fucking hate crows. Well, maybe if you- Have you thought about that maybe they've just gotten wind of your defamatory speech regarding them? I'll tell you what. I spoke out. Now, you might not know this, Kulop.

Okay. But not long ago on this program, I spoke out against crows. These dirty. An unpopular anti-crow stance. I'm not afraid to speak against crows. Right. I'll speak against the crow. What about counting?

I'm against doing anything with crows. Yeah, what about various college rock bands from the early 90s? The Black Crows. So many others. Cameron? Crowdaddy.com. I spoke out. It's popular.

I spoke out against crows because they're schemers. Not every crow is a schemer. All crows are schemers. Some are dreamers. They got big dreams. They got off the bus from Oklahoma. Yeah, big believers. Number one, all crows are schemers.

All right. Number two. But will you at least concede that some, in addition to scheming, do a little dreaming? Okay. Great point. Thank you. You know what they dream about? Yeah.

Scheming. Oh. And becoming the best schemer. It's a dream. Number three, they're mean. They attack the other birds. And I think they want to attack my dogs. They're thinking about it.

What are you basing this on? Their little beady eyes. You've looked in their eyes, Kula. I'm sure I have. You've looked in these little fuckers' eyes. Well, I'm looking in your eyes right now. Yeah, and you can see I'm a good actor, so I can show you what it's like. Okay.

I can transmogrify. Caw, caw. So, they're violent, they're dirty, and they're schemers. Okay. I spoke out bravely because I'm not afraid to speak my mind. As we've learned in my new signature segment, three things that are rubbing my lips. And you know what I got? What'd you get?

Emails. From crows? Tweets. Tweets I get from crows. From the email address crow at bird.com. Hi, it's me, a crow. Not cool. Not cool, dude.

Maybe, are you, I mean, I don't want to say anything. Do you think it's a crow that started this? Jesse Thorne. FX the worst. Like those, oh, that's possible. Might be a crow or a crow wrangler. Somebody whose livelihood is tied up in crows. Depends on crows, yes.

Yeah. That's an interesting possibility. I wouldn't put it past them. Yeah. Fucking crows. So I got a bunch of emails and tweets. I haven't seen the show. I got messages about crows recognizing human faces.

They do. And planning amongst themselves. Recognizing human faces. They do. And planning amongst themselves. And being as smart as an older toddler. A preschool-aged child. So that reaffirms your fears and beliefs.

I think they're shitting on my car on purpose. Oh, boy. We should probably just shove them all in the wet timeout sack. They heard. Shove them in there. Let them think about what they've done. They heard that I got a new 10-year-old car that I was very excited about. Yeah.

New to you. And they said, let's take a literal shit on his dream. Yeah. Let's literally poop on his dream. That was their scheme, Was to destroy my dream. Wow. Phleem. I couldn't think of a third word that ended in eem. No, Phleem's good. Let's go with Phleem.

Yeah. Anyway, that's the second of three things they're rubbing on my last nerve. Ah, damn. When we come back, we'll find out what's going on with Kulop. And we'll talk about Jordan's trip to... To see the Purge Anarchy.

Red Rocks. Where is it called today? Burning Man. Yeah. The Playa. No, I don't want to talk about that. I just want to talk about seeing the Purge Anarchy. Okay. We'll be back in just a second on jordan jesse go hi my name is dave and my name is grail now what do we have to do to put you in a brand

new podcast today yeah what do you want me to drink bleach i'll do it yeah dave will drink if that's what it takes to get you to listen to new podcast today. Yeah. What, do you want me to drink bleach? I'll do it. Yeah, Dave will drink bleach. If that's what it takes to get you to listen to Stop Podcasting Yourself on MaximumFun.org. Don't make Dave drink bleach. Just listen to the show. He will, but don't make him. Stop podcasting yourself.

Stop podcasting yourself. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you,isak. Kulop, great to have you here on the program. Welcome to the program. It's always great to have you in your winning positive energy on the team, out there in the streets fighting crows, taking care of business. I just really want to be clear that I don't have any problem with crows. Are you afraid of crows? I'm not afraid of crows. Well, Kulab, you just don't want to invite any kind of negative hashtags that might come along with speaking out against crows. That's true.

Hashtag Kulab Vlaysak for you're the worst. FX. Oh, I want to be on The League. Okay, everybody out there. Great. Jesse Thorne's already going to be on You're the Worst. I don't get to be on

Archer's My Favorite Show. No, you're going to be on You're the Worst. Sorry, you already had your hashtag. It's a great show. I haven't seen it yet, but I'm just saying

my favorite show of the whole world is Archer. It's on FX. The precedent has already been put down. How many FX-related hashtags do you want, Jesse?

God, if I ever... You got yours. If I ever needed some judicial activism to overturn precedent. Help us, Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Okay. What do I want to be on the league? Oh, I want to be like maybe like Paul Scheer's new assistant. And I want to dress like him. I want to have hats and vests and stuff. That's fun. like, maybe like Paul Scheer's new assistant. Ooh.

And I want to dress like him. I want to have hats and vests and stuff. Oh, that's fun. Just like the hit show, The League. Yeah. Anyway, let's make it happen, people. Jordan Morris, The League. You know what?

Fucking Kulop's probably already been on The League. I haven't. Oh, yeah? Have you not? No. What's up with that? It seems like Cool Op would have been on by now. I know. She was like, yeah, you know, we're talking about it. And I was like, that was like season one.

Because I stopped talking about it. Bring in Cool Op. Should we also do Cool Op the League or is there another show that you'd like to be on? I mean... You should probably stay with FX shows. It's probably that. Can I guess? Can I guess? Of course you can. Is it the Kelsey Grammer Martin Warren?

Partners. I mean, I definitely want to be a part of something before it goes away. Zing. Zing. Well, what if I do Archer and then we switch? We do a trade. Let's do tradesies. Will you say hi to my high school friend, Aya Cash?

She's fantastic. That's what I hear. I love her in everything she does. I've only seen her in a couple of things. And every time I'm like, holy shit, there goes Aya Cash from high school. Yeah. If you see the first episode, you're going to see a lot of Aya Cash. Really?

A lot. That might make me uncomfortable. It may. It may. I mean, there's some of FX's signature top of the butt in that first episode. You know the old FX top of the butt? Top of the butt to you. Man, FX is like the network Sipowitz built.

It weren't for NYPD Blue. Let's make a whole network out of this, they said. There wouldn't be that kind of semi-raciness. Yeah. Although, we're talking of semi-raciness. Yeah. Although, we're talking reverse cowgirl pretty clear. Sure. That's pretty clear. Okay.

Jordan, speaking of reverse cowgirl. Some clear R's. Pretty clear. Let's table the question of what FX, that's a great solution to the problem, Kulop. I tip my cap to you. Let's talk about what we're really here to talk about, which is- The Purge Anarchy. No.

So the first Purge movie I felt like- Jordan. What? We're not here to talk about the Purge Anarchy. Well, I've got opinions about it. Jordan, you went to a very special place a week ago. That's true. Tell me about this place.

Well, okay. So loyal listeners to the program will know that a popular thing that we like to goof on on this program is Burning Man. Yeah. The yearly conflagration of people with circus skills. Yeah. I mean, how do I – do you need it explained, Kulop? No. Are you clear? I'm familiar with it. I follow, how do I do you need it explained? Cool. No, I'm familiar with it.

I follow people on Instagram. It's a bonanza of the affluent dorkish community. Sure. Dusted. So. So, yeah. So we goof on it a lot. And then a kind of a very, very nice listener just kind of contacted me on Facebook and said, like, hey, I know you guys talk a lot about it. If you want to go, here's a free ticket. I work for them. Come and have a great time.

Is that a hot ticket to get? Like is it expensive? Are they sold out? Yeah, it sells out pretty quick. And yeah, it's a little bit pricey. It's not prohibitively pricey, but it's a good chunk. Yeah. Considering you're buying access to a barren wasteland.

Right. And you got to bring gear, right? So that's just to get you in. Yeah. The expense comes with like getting there and getting all the stuff that you need. Okay. The ticket isn't actually that much. It's like less than going to a Coachella or something like that.

Just covers like freak out tents and the man. Yeah, yeah. He being the man out. Yeah. Got it. And so I, Kulop, I'm saying yes to life. Love it. That's what I'm doing these days.

I like this new positive attitude. And you know, if it leads to Ultimate Frisbee and Burning Man, so be it. Yeah. You're going to have a good time. Yeah. So yeah, I couldn't go for the whole thing because of work, but we definitely had a long weekend when Burning Man was there, so I kind of left work a day early and went for the long weekend.

Short answer, I had a goddamn blast. This shit is so much fun. Really? I was blown away by how much fun I was basically constantly having. OK, I believe it. I mean, it seems like it's an entire thing dedicated specifically. Yeah. To having fun.

Sure. Totally. So, yeah. So you get there. And oh, and also, I mean, speaking of our listeners who are basically the nicest fucking people on the face of the earth, a nice group of or a camp that had a few listeners in it decided to take me in. They say, hey, you sound like you're not prepared and you may die in the desert. Oh, wow. Come stay at our thing.

Yeah, they're called the Time Colony and they're the nicest people basically ever. What are we talking about? A tent, a yurt? So there were several tents. There was a sleeping dome and then there was a hangout dome. These are domes constructed of beams. Wow. Very clever.

Were they geodesic in nature? Yeah, and canvassy? You know, they were made of panels, like plastic panels. I'm afraid I don't know a lot of dome terminology. So now I think you're probably spot on there, Jesse. Yeah, I'm going to say it's a geodesic dome. Okay. I haven't – I'm afraid I don't know a lot of dome terminology. So now I think – back to – I think you're probably spot on there, Jesse. Yeah. I'm going to say it's a geodesic dome. Okay.

I haven't been under the dome. But you do love CBS Summer Miniseries. Yeah. I love Chester's Mill. Oh, man. Anyway. So. So, yeah.

So I'm – I've been set up way more than I deserve to be set up. It was just really nice. Just a lot of nice people being nice. So I get there. I get there about 9 in the morning. You know, my plane lands at 9 and I rent my car and drive out and I, you know, get there about noon. And, yeah. And so the day is, you know, and I think you can come at this thing a lot of ways.

If you just want to fucking rage, you can. Like, you can just rage. But, I mean, there's also a lot of, like, spiritually stuff. Like, there's a lot of, like, mindfulness classes you can take. Oh, that's my jam. You like a mindfulness class? I do. How mindful are you, Kulop, would you say?

I need to be more mindful. Is that a goal? Yeah, it is a goal. Have you been leaving a lot of litter on the beach? Of my life? Yes. Wow. A lot of flotsam and jetsam in Kulop's life.

So there's a lot of like just stuff you can do. There's like a big book of classes and they kind of all kind of fall into that zone. I didn't know that happened too. Yeah. Wow, okay. There happened too. Yeah. Wow. Okay. There's classes. Okay.

Okay. I just assume more of an anarchy. Not anarchy. Just like no rules sort of like no time. Knife fights. Always knife fights. So yeah. So but kind of something that happens during the day.

It's just like a lot of day drinking. Like you can ride bikes around. Also something I didn't have that I got loaned to be was a bike. So you kind of just ride around in all these camps. Some of them have bars that are open at different times and have different themes. So you kind of just ride around and see who's serving drinks. And everything's free. And, you know, I brought like a travel mug that was attached to my backpack, and you just get it filled up.

With a carabiner? I didn't have a carabiner, no. Did you have to borrow a carabiner? A little plastic strap. I went through the whole long weekend without using one carabiner. That seems wrong. I know. I know.

It seems like you did it wrong. I'm the exception to the rule. Okay. This is a water world show. Yeah, and so people are like flagging you down to come to their thing, their bar or their game or their what have you. Just guys on unicycles going homebrew, homebrew. Yeah, there was totally lots of homebrew guys, as you might expect. That's great.

And yeah, there's just like stuff to do. Like there was a giant penis sculpture and you go inside it and you climb up various ladders and then you get to the top and you wave a white flag. So it looks like it's ejaculating. That's great. Well done, everyone. Well done. And so here's a few examples of the things I got flagged down to do. Can I ask you what the temperature was?

Yes, great question. Nice temp. I didn't experience any intense weather. Because the rain was the previous weekend. Sure. And so it cooled things off. Cooled things off. Very nice.

Gorgeous. Wow. So the first, so there's like, you know, there's a lot of stuff. There was a homemade slip and slide and they like, some guys come over and rub baby oil on you and you go down the slip and slide and they all cheer. Wow. There's guys who are like there for that. Yeah.

Yeah. They're on baby oil. There's a prep team. Yes. Yeah. Like a, yeah, like're on baby oil duty. There's a prep team. Yes. Yeah, like a NASCAR pit crew. But to oil up a drug so he

can slide down a giant garbage bag. Is there Gordon Ramsay yelling at them? Like a... Yeah. There should be. There should be. So the first guy, not the first guy, but the most noteworthy guy to flag me down is this dude. And he looks, I would say, like Judah Freelander, like a shirtless Judah Freelander.

And on his chest he has taint wash written. And he's got one of these taint wash. And he's got one of these pumping sprayers. Do you know what a pumping sprayer is? I guess it's something you would be used to, like, spray for bugs. Like a super, like a more industrial thing. Okay, like if you had. I'm making a motion here.

Do you guys see this motion I'm making? Yeah, like if you had an orchid farm or some sort of. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Thank you. Like you used to. This is a professional looking item. You're doing like a teeter-totter motion. Yeah, you know, paint watch.

item. You're doing like a teeter-totter motion. Yeah, you know. Paint watch. So there's this dude so this dude flags me and my bike buddy down and he says can I wash your face? I said yes. Sprays my face.

Feels great. Says can I wash your arms? I said yes. Sprays my arms. Feels great. What clothes are you wearing? Basically what I'm wearing now. Just like shorts and a t-shirt. I said yes. Sprays my arms. Feels great. What clothes are you wearing? Basically what I'm wearing now. Just like shorts and a t-shirt. Just regular Joe. Yeah.

I felt like all – I mean I was – I felt so weird dressed like this because I wasn't dressed weird. I felt like I told everybody I was cosplaying as a guy your boyfriend's friends with. Like if you saw me out, you're like, oh, huh. Oh, my boyfriend's friends with that guy. Okay. So you were telling us how you were being conditioned. Yeah. Can I wash your arms?

Yes. Sprays my arms. Feels great. He says, can I wash your taint? Rule of threes. I looked at my bike buddy. Just gives me a little nod. Saying yes to life.

Yes. Get off the bike. Pull She gives me a little nod. Saying yes to life. Yes. Get off the bike. Pull down my pants. Spread them. The guy sprays my taint. And then he yells back at his tent. That's 35! And they all go, woo!

And it felt great. The cold water on my sweaty taint. I had been riding a bike around. Taint wash. I'm only going to call you 35 from now. 35. There's 35. I wonder how many he got throughout the whole week.

You didn't check back in. I didn't check back in. That's why you're an entertainer, not a journalist. There's some. oh, God. Somebody showed me an article about – oh, God. Who's that super – oh, boy. This guy, he's like one of those libertarian dudes that's everybody's favorite. G. Gordon Liddy.

Ted Cruz. No. One of these guys. I was going to say Ayn Rand. Ayn Rand. No. One of these guys went to Burning Man. say Ayn Rand. Ayn Rand. No, cool. No. One of these guys went to Burning Man. Rand Paul.

Rand Paul. Not Rand Paul. One of these guys went to Burning Man, and there's a story about him encountering the taint wash guy and not getting a taint wash. Anyway, so I think this is a known guy. Well, you know, that's his right. We all have our freedoms. Mm-hmm.

So, anyway, and finally, gold standard. Anyway. Spendocrats. Spendocrats. Spendocrats, yeah. So and then – so there's – and the kind of like – there's different like neighborhoods that have kind of different feels and themes. And there's one that is a – that's a gayborhood, which is very, very fun. Gabor Hood, which is very, very fun. And so I was driving by this kind of crazy, you know, pink nightclub, and they have a stand that says, Snow Cones.

Great. Snow Cone, right? You're hot. Let's have a Snow Cone. Let's totally have a Snow Cone. And there's two lines at the Snow Cones. There's regular, and then there's exhibitionist. Exhibitionist not that long.

Stand in the exhibitionist line. When I get to the front. You're saying yes to life. I'm saying yes to life Kulop. Wow. It really helps that I didn't know that many people here. So I feel like I could just do whatever the fuck I want. Yeah. Good. Good position. So I get to the front of the line and the guys

making the snow cones are like these jacked, beautiful gay guys. Just like the guys who you see walking around West Hollywood that make you feel intimidated. That make me feel intimidated. They make me feel intimidated. Sure. No. Yeah. I mean, just like.

Quit being so beautiful, asshole. Yeah. They're just beautiful. They're wearing short shorts. They got little belts on. It's great. Yeah. So I go up to this guy and I say, so what do I have to do?

What do I have to do to get the snow cone? He's like, well, you have to show your dick. So I pulled down my pants. You just had your tan cleaned. I mean, my tan is perfectly cleaned. I pulled on my pants and he's like, well, there it is. He gives me a snow cone. Not a woo. Not cone. Not a woo.

Not a you go, girl. No celebration. This guy couldn't have cared less. Well, there it is. Snow cone was great. Well, there it is. What kind of snow cone? Rainbow?

Red. Red. That's the best one. Red was really good. It was really good. Why would you get another flavor other than red? I had them put it in my travel mug, too. It kind of like soaked up some booze that was in there.

Oh. So it was nice. It was a nice treat. That's sourceful. It was a nice treat. That's fun. Wow. Yeah, so that happened.

And so, yeah, you kind of just go around and you go to all these things. And there's, oh, there was one more. There was one more where you spin a wheel and you have to do whatever's on the wheel and uh i got nipple electrocution and the bartender before he poured me a drink had this battery with a frayed wire attached to it and just electrocuted my nipple how's that still great stimulating felt great yeah i kind of liked it oh yeah i'm like all right. Here's something new. I'm really basic. Sure, please. Food. How did food work out during this? Bagels?

Yeah, I bought a lot of Clif Bars. I stopped at a Walmart and just kind of bought stuff to have. So I bought a lot of Clif Bars, and the people at the time camp, they would cook. They would make some mac and cheese or these kind of little English muffin pizzas, just kind of like stuff you would make when you're camping. Things you can make on a, you know, hot pot. On the fly. Hot plate. Do people have, like, portable generators?

Is that what's going on? Yeah, some people have portable generators, yeah. What about, like, not bathing? Like, is that, well, other than the taint wash, but, like, that's my issue. Sure. Like, well, I mean, I guess you could just get the guy with the taint wash guy to be a little more thorough. Sure. Can I have a full shower, please?

Can I get a taint scrub? Yeah. Is there a taint blast option? I need you to blast this shit, dude. Is there a taint silkwood? Yeah. Only for Meryl Streep. Streep only, he says.

Yeah. You know, people kind of rigged up those, you know, garbage bag showers. Do you kind of know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Those things where you. Sure. Yeah. And it warms up in the heat of the sun.

Yeah. There you go. I did not have one of those. I just went the whole time without bathing. Wow. And was gross. Did you like how I said, by the way, as though I've ever left the city in my entire 34 years on earth? Yeah. Well, you're well read. Yeah, that's true. You've read books about camping. By the way, as though I've ever left the city in my entire 34 years on Earth.

Well, you're well read. Yeah, that's true. You've read books about camping. Yeah, that's true. You love the work of Jack London. That's about dogs rigging up showers. I did once read a book about hiking the Appalachian Trail. Oh, there you go. Great.

Sure. Read a book about hiking the Appalachian Trail. So there you go. Great. Sure. So yeah. So at night is kind of when, you know, the partying starts, the like non-day drinking partying. Oh, let's talk about them drugs.

Yeah. So yeah. Cool. I have like, I've smoked pot and kind of done some other things, but I've never done like a hallucinogen before. Holy. Okay. Wow.

And you're doing, you're going here. Yeah. yes to life saying yes to life so uh i was hanging around and we were kind of getting ready to go out and one of my buddies just says open your mouth and uh sticks in a tab of acid um and so i you know i'm like okay i'm just gonna do it i'm not gonna worry too much about it because i think if you worry, it makes things worse. So we're all kind of like walking out to the kind of party zone. Let me ask you, Jordan. Please. You say that that's the mindset that you went into it with.

How true was it? Were you comfortable enough at that point in this crazy place that you weren't actually worried about it? No. Yeah. I actually felt pretty good. I mean, everybody was just, I mean, the fucking niceness of this place cannot be overstated. The, like, everyone is really nice. Other than, like, other than the beautiful gay guys who aren't that impressed with my dick, that was the meanest thing that happened to me the whole time. And I don't even think he was trying to be mean. I just think he had seen a lot of impressive wangs and, you know.

I mean, if you're going to get in the exhibitionist line, probably a lot of the people out there, you know, they're rolling hard. You know, they got something to show. Yeah, even if it's a piercing

or piercings. Or just something there, just, or just a giant dong that they'll just take any opportunity to whip out. Right. And that could be enough. Right.

Anyway. So, yeah. So I felt – I did feel great. I felt like I was with friends and with nice people. And, yeah, it was – yeah, I felt good about it. So – and we're kind of walking out to the party zone and then I kind of start to feel, you know, a little bit woozy. And I'm like, oh, I get this. This is like eating a pot brownie.

Like it just kind of is a body, you know, a tingly, woozy body sensation. I'm like, I got this. Then I went into a crazy dimension where time had no meaning. Holy shit. The flip was so intense. Holy shit. The flip was so intense. And yeah, it's just like you're flying over the world in a bubble and you don't know how long things are happening.

So yeah, so we kind of just walked out into the desert and kind of beyond the party, what they call deep playa. They're just all these art installations. There's like an igloo where the ceiling lights up and it reacts to sound so you go in the igloo and you kind of say things and you vocalize and the ceiling reacts and there's like this kind of big iron this iron like skateboard bowl that you can lay down in and the ceiling is on fire and then there's like a you know a tree of cubes that plays classical music and we just went and fucking you fucking looked at all these things and it was amazing and it just was – and obviously I felt like I was looking at each of them for two hours. But it was probably ten minutes. Oh, wow.

Yeah. So then we kind of went back into the middle where all the partying is happening and there's all those art cars that light up and everybody is dressed at something and you feel like you're on a fucking magical adventure like i totally you know the i mean maybe it's just because that's my frame of reference i'm like this is like a video game and there's levels like i'm like i was at the fire level and now i'm at the you know pillow fight level oh also we climbed a thing we climbed a structure and in the middle there's a big net and you all have a pillow fight in the net. Oh, wow. Which blew my fucking mind. I think the level setting is universal.

I mean if you listen carefully to Sgt. Pepper, I think you get the feeling that they knew they were doing different video game levels. Yeah. I think they were anticipating Sonic the Hedgehog's Green Hill Zone. Right. Yeah. Mario Kart, we're in zone. Right. Yeah. Mario Kart, we're in the water now. Yeah. So, yeah.

So that was, yeah, it was really, really fun. And we kind of, like, finished the night by, like, riding this Ferris wheel where you can kind of see all the madness from the top. And it was just bonkers, mind-blowing. Yeah, I mean. So pleasurable. Positive experiences, R.E. Acid. A little bit toward the end, I kind of couldn't get to sleep.

And then there's that feeling like, whoops, what if this is just what I'm like now? Like normal. What if this never goes away? So, yeah, it's long. It's last a long time, which I wasn't prepared for. And also, you don't know how long things are happening. So it feels like has this been three days? Yeah.

But in general, I really liked it. Had a great time. And that's just like exactly what you want to be happening while that's happening. Yeah. So day two, kind of just more of the same day drinking. A little bit of a spiritual experience. Wait. That was only day one?

That was day one. All that stuff happened in one day. Okay. Yeah. Day two. People are at this thing for like a week and a half people are totally like yeah it's like a it's like an eight-day situation wow uh you get a lot of shit done you can get a lot of shit done right uh yeah so a couple of people gave me uh kind of one of the spiritual things you're supposed

to do is you're supposed to uh you know burn things symbolically uh you know they have all these structures that they burn at various times. There's the man, there's the temple, and there's a bunch of other kind of sub things they could burn. Yeah. So actually a bunch of friends heard I was going and gave me a bunch of like, you know, little totems and things. And I didn't ask them what it meant, but it kind of seemed personal.

They're like, hey, can you burn this for me? Can you burn this for me? So I kind of, yeah, it was neat. So I kind of, um, kind of did the same thing. I made a little list of my anxieties and I put them in a little envelope. And so I kind of had this little backpack pouch filled with all the stuff to be burned. So I, yeah, like rode out into the desert and it's all – there's a dust storm and it's great and to the temple to be burned. And I kind of put it all there and had a little moment.

Yeah, then just rode back and got drunk. I was just picturing you like you get there, you find out about this thing, and you're like, oh, shit, what have I got? Okay, library card. Yeah, latte punch card for Mo Cafe on Santa Monica Boulevard. I'm giving up lattes regular coffee it's more affordable yeah sure i'm not gonna i'm there's no way i'm buying four more of these regular drip to get one free one uh yeah so that was yeah that was nice and then kind of to watch the man burn uh

we did uh we did molly which i had done once before um which was super fun but the uh the man took a long time to burn. And kind of by the time it was done, we weren't fucked up anymore. But the man burning is fucking spectacular. I was not prepared for how amazing it was. I kind of just thought a guy would light the bottom and it would just gradually catch on fire, but it's a big fireworks display and there's all these pyrotechnics and yeah, it's amazing.

Yeah, totally amazing. display and there's all these pyrotechnics and yeah it's amazing uh yeah totally amazing plus that just primal yeah like love just seeing that sure embers yeah right exactly seducing embers yeah do you think that you'll return in future um yeah um i think if i had like a if i had like a crew to roll with if a lot of people were going um yeah, I mean, I don't know if I feel, you know, drawn to it or like it's like, I didn't feel like, oh, this is my, this is it. I'm thinking, can I propose a crew for you here? You, a stereoscopic. A demolitions expert.

A sexy female computer hacker. Yeah, no, if there was a crew of people who was going, I would totally, totally love to go. You know, downside, a lot of electronic music. God damn. There was a kind of one of their famous things is the Thunderdome, and it's this place where they kind of harness you up on a bungee cord

and you like joust with these. And you know, it looks like a Mad Max setting. A Thunderdome, if you will. A Thunderdome. How you say Thunderdome? It's kind of like a Thunderdome. And I was hanging out at this thing.

And I'm like, oh, this is great. I kind of don't want to leave. Why? Oh, yeah, they're playing metal and I'm listening to a fucking guitar. God damn. Finally, a guitar is being played. Yeah. So I definitely like electronic music.

It wears on me a little bit. Can I ask you, was it the kind of electronic music that goes... Or was it the kind that goes... Until you're in a trance. All of those at once. Okay. From different speakers. Gotcha.

Each dueling. Gotcha. And then just some Philip Glass nonsense. Are there people with instruments? Yeah, there's some dudes jamming. I think there's an all-acoustic instrument zone that you can go in. So there's some banjo picking. Some banjo picking.

Some ukuleling. But it is overwhelmingly just electronic music. You know what I would like? Is if there was a camp just dedicated to steel drums. That would be fun. Just, hey, man! Do you feel, how do you feel in terms of spiritually? Do you feel different or just on an internal level?

I mean, it was like rejuvenating. I kind of, I came, I didn't come back likeating. I didn't come back exhausted. I came back excited about life. Yeah, I don't know if I'm going to live life differently, but it was a recharge for sure. I like this. I do too. I like that you went and did this, Jordan. Yeah, me too.

It was really fun. Yeah, yeah. Definitely big old thanks to everybody who helped. That was a... Hi, walk with me. Yeah, sure, right? Did you have any good gear? Did you have any good opportunities to use your gear? Yeah, I mean, that mug came in handy.

Yeah, I got to put on my... What about that carabiner? Did you... I didn't have a carabiner! You guys are obsessed with these carabiners! I feel like... Next year, I'm going to get a carabiner. Okay, good.

So you guys will get off my fucking case do you have a polar fleece I wish I had a polar fleece anything from Patagonia cool up is this something

that you would is this something that you would do would you go to this or a I don't know is there a similar long camp based thing

that you would do I think as a younger lady I would have but now it's like Now that you're 24. Yeah. Plus 10. The idea of even glamping I'm just like can we just be in like a really nice cabin? What's glamping? Oh it's

where you're. It's a new dance. It's like crumping. It's like crumping. Except it's about camping and it's just like really like it's fancier camping like yeah like there's a shower in a yurt or like you know what I mean like it's like beds

are comfier even then I'm it's like one step below a beautiful it's like a luxury tent it's like imagine going on an expensive African safari that essentially is glamping. Yes.

Okay. But I just rather. You wouldn't glamp. I would take it to a really nice cabin. Uh-huh. Take it to a hotel. That's where I'd take it. I mean, you usually roll Holiday Inn, right?

Yeah. A one, a two, a three stars. Courtyard by Marriott. Accept no imitation. Thank you. Sleep number bed, thank you very much. Pay for that water. Am I mistaken?

Breakfast from across the continents. Across the continents. I feel like when you were on this show years ago, you had just come back from some sort of astrology retreat. Yes. Yes, I did. I did. And that's, yes, I've gone up to Ojai. Sure.

I've been a very energy vortex. And I think that is actually the official. All your energy. Energy vortex. And you leave a husk. You leave a frail gray husk. That's right. I give them my life force. It was not only an astrology retreat, but it was all women.

All women. Well, I mean, whether or not that's in the title... Fair enough. Yeah, just like I went to the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising, and there was like two guys. Yeah. Three guys. I know a guy. Hey, cool up.

Who was at Mimosa Brunch this weekend? You know, Al Letson. Girls like these things. Al Letson, the host of the public radio show State of the Reunion and past Max Funcon guest. Al Letson, he's like a 40-ish year old black guy with dreadlocks, straight, spent his entire career until he became a public radio host five years ago as a flight attendant. Wow. Yeah. And he said he worked for this airline that had 400 flight attendants-ish, and he and one other dude were the only straight men in the entire company.

Yeah. I believe those stats. Have you been back to astrology retreats since that last time? I did one more time. I think mindfulness retreats, yeah, that's my jam. Reiki? Reiki? Why not?

Do you have any powers? I mean, I feel like I haven't harnessed them yet. Cool up. Huh? Hadouken me through this wall. With pleasure. Come on, do it. No one's ever allowed me to.

I've been waiting. I mean, I'm saying yes to life. I'm saying yes to getting hadoukened through a wall. I mean, I think I don't do drugs. But I've done Molly. Well, no. You't do drugs. But I've done like Molly. Well, no. You've done drugs. I've done drugs, but I don't do them and I don't have plans to.

Except I have this idea of ayahuasca being sometime in my future. Oh, interesting. And I think about, oh, if I'm going to do ayahuasca, I'm not going to do it in Mission Hills. I should go to the Amazon. I should go to Peru. Where you can fight piranhas. If I'm going to do ayahuasca, I want it to be somewhere where there's a fish that can swim up my urethra. Sure, that's ideal.

That's my rule. I always want to be worried about the fish. That is authentic, Jesse. Yeah, that's the real deal. Yeah. Machu Picchu and penis fish. Ayahuas authentic, Jesse. Yeah. That's the real deal. Yeah. Machu Picchu and penis fish. Ayahuasca. Three.

Three is the rule of three. Yeah. What about, oh, sorry. What about that is appealing? What about the Ayahuasca experience? I mean, you know, nobody wants diarrhea out both ends, but I like the idea just what i've read of just sort of like i don't know battling with my ego kind of letting go of things just to me it's just fascinating that that everyone who does this medicine if you will or this drug which most would say um that they go to the same place. Sure. And that's interesting to me, that maybe, you know, it unlocks a dimension that exists.

I don't know. There's a lot of things that I want to let go of, so there's that as well. Cool. I'm happy to hear that you're interested in letting go of your ego. Maybe you should do it by making an autobiographical documentary film. No. Not interested? No.

I do what I want and I don't want to change. I do want to talk about your movie because I'm super excited about it. I'm super excited about it. The first time I came to know you was on the internet, on specialthing.com, the comedy nerd website. And you were posting on there with the handle, which is what they call the special name that you pick for an internet website, The Laotian. Yeah. And I was like, what is this person called, The Laotian. Yeah. And I was like, what is this person called the Laotian? And I sent you a,

uh, a message, which is like a, it's just like a letter in electronic form. I'm following you. And I said, and I said, are you Laotian? And I found out you're Laotian.

And we talked a little bit about your background because I had, at the time I was working for my dad's NGO, which was doing work in Laos. And I had just the time I was working for my dad's NGO which was doing work in Laos and I had just recently gotten back from Laos and I was very fascinated by that to begin with because there are there are relatively the Laotian community in the United States is relatively small especially outside of an ethnic group called the Hmongs. There's a fair number of them. But outside of that, it's a tight-knit group here in the United States. And so I was interested to hear about that. But then when I saw the trailer for this movie that you're putting together,

like your background blew my brain. Really? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It blew your brain? This is me doing an entire show with literally no brain. Really? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It blew your brain? This is me doing an entire show with literally no brain. This is my automatic nervous system.

Sure. Like a chicken with his head cut off. That's really impressive. He'll collapse in a heap at a certain point. Very impressive. You, so you're, were you born in, you're from the Twin Cities area, right? I am, and I was born in Washington, D.C.

Okay, so did you, and I was born in Washington, D.C. Okay. So what did you know about your parents' life in Laos when you were a kid and teenager? I knew that if I was bad, I would be sent to Laos. Laos is kind of like a garbage bag womb. Yeah. But it's a whole country. A lovely place, Laos. kind of like a garbage bag womb. Yeah. But it's a whole country. A lovely place, Laos. A lot harder.

That's true. Yeah. You know, a lot harder to live. My parents sacrificed a lot for me to have grown up in America and that I owe them is what I knew about them. It was a debt you would be repaying for the rest of your life. Yes. And your parents were actually legitimately kind of badass immigrant types who had like made a middle class life for themselves after coming here with nothing.

I mean, my mom, within five years of coming to this country, she owned a home. She started her own. She had a Thai restaurant. Five years. That's tremendous. This is an ambitious, risk-taking woman. Yeah. She's taking care of business.

Yeah. But there was something, Kulop. There was something that you did not know. Hi, I'm Barbara Walters. Thank you for coming out of retirement. No problem. You know, the older I get, the deeper and clearer my voice gets. Thank you for coming out of retirement. No problem. You know, the older I get, the deeper and clearer my voice gets.

I didn't know. Well, my parents fought. First of all, it's tough being the first, like the oldest of three, much older than my younger sisters. I had a lot of responsibility when it came to them. Also, my parents and I learned English about the same rate. And then I surpassed them. And conflict was just an everyday thing just between us. And then my parents fought all the time.

And so it was one of these like crazy battles. And I had just put my head down, was my parents bedroom working on the family computer my mom came in after their blowout and she was complaining about him and I said something in his defense and she looked at me and said why are you defending him he's not your real dad wow I looked at her and she was like so angry and then she looked so scared. And I was like, okay, all right, mom. Another crazy thing she's saying. Kind of went to my dad to like, mom, doing it, doing it again. And then I told him what she said to me and he, I just, when I saw his face, I knew it was the truth. And that is how I find out things in my family.

Oh, jeez. So it makes me not want to find out things. But this was like, this was, now this was 20-ish years ago. Yeah, I was 14 years old. So. Well, it's not like that's a key time in your life where something intense like that might affect you. Yeah. No, it didn't affect my trust issues

at all. No, and it made me feel like everybody knew about me and I didn't know about me. Is that when you started using Molly? Is that when you started going to astrology retreats? Is that when you invented and then

started to use Molly? Because I am rich. That's why I don't clamp. Yeah. Get that club drug money. Yeah. If we could only go public. I had heard through the Laotian grapevine, or I don't know how it came to me, but that

soon after I found out about my birth father that he didn't want to do anything with me because he was worried that I wanted child support from him. And at that point, I started just like, you know, this is too painful. I didn't want any of this. I thought I was most like my dad. I thought I looked like my dad. Never got along with my mom. Was he living in? Did you know, like, who who it was who he was no

no i didn't know him i knew and i've kind of before this all happened like had you had you been back to laos had you been have you visited yes but at that point i had been to laos once before i went the first time i went was the summer before fifth grade yeah what would you what did you think about it the summer before fifth grade? I thought it was really beautiful. And it's a third world country after the war. I mean, it was bombed 30 years back. There are still a number of mines in the ground.

It's not super developed. But that said, we went back and it's like all the relatives were fawning over me. Delicious. Because of your Reiki powers. Well, yeah. They were afraid of me. Sure. Everybody was making you a bowl of LARP.

Right? You were all over it. I love LARP. I love it. That's a minced meat salad. Minced meat salad. Terrific. It's got were all over it. I love LARP. I love it. That's a minced meat salad. Minced meat salad. Oh, terrific. It's got chilies in it.

And lime. But be careful, don't have a paper cut. Yeah. No. Don't have a slug. A noo. A noo.

A noo. I had some when I was in Laos made from wild boar. Ooh. That was the best one I had. Yeah. With some sticky rice. A lot of times it was made out of a chicken.

Yeah. That's your number one thing that's made out of, I'd say. Chicken meats and innards. Yeah. Our friend Buntan, who helped my dad found the NGO, she actually also lives in the Twin Cities area like all Lao Americans. Mostly, yeah. Or Fresno. She actually also lives in the Twin Cities area like all Lao Americans.

Mostly, yeah. Or Fresno. But when she was in the Bay Area when I was a kid, this happens on several occasions, she would just come in and she would just come into our house with a fucking chicken and just, you know, like just a whirl of butcher knives. And then all of a sudden there would be like five gallons of LARP on our kitchen table. Yeah. Yeah.

I befriended a few geese right before my dad slit their throats and slowly dripped the blood to make LARP, but like raw meat, bloody LARP. Oh, wow. Yeah. I didn't know that was a thing. It's like slowly holding its neck, slowly the blood dripping into a bowl. Wow. Oh, that's a thing.

Yeah. Sure is a thing. Take that, geese. Yeah. Yeah. From your resting place in our laundry room. That's cute. So you grew up to be the talented, charming, successful entertainer that you are today.

You're very sweet. talented, charming, successful entertainer that you are today. You're very sweet. What made you want to re-engage with your own life story? I think that, you know, I was a confluence of a number of things. It was the further deterioration

of my relationship with my wonderfully dynamic and hilarious but addicted to gambling mother and her asking me for money for the yeesh yeah you know sure time uh it was um my dad suggesting that i i i should why not um It was my therapist saying, also, why not? He may be your best chance of having a good parent. There was, I think, ultimately, Scott and I, my husband Scott, wanting to have a child. And me really wanting to take full responsibility for just, I don't know, clearing out as much as I can before that would happen. Preparing.

Like a type of nesting, but with just trauma. Building a trauma nest. Potentially a certain amount of goose blood potentially potentially possibly some insect based foods sure my mom just like she tells the story too much about how

she weaned me off her her teat she's like you turned one and you wouldn't stop. So I put bile on my nipple. And that was that. Whoa. I was like, thanks, Mom. Where do you get bile?

You got to cut it out of a goose. Yeah. Just a lobster and you keep it in your freezer if you want to put it in a lob. Yeah. Or another use. So you're fundraising for a documentary about this whole thing. Yeah, I've already shot 80% of it. I went to Laos.

I met that birth father. And now I'm asking for help to finish the film. And we've done an Indiegogo campaign now for a few weeks, and we have a few weeks more. It's great, but we haven't hit that goal yet. I'm really hoping that we do. And in parallel to this whole thing, to you finding out about your real life story, there's a fictionalized version of you in the DC Comics. That's direct current comics, Jordan. Yeah.

If you didn't know. Stingwished competition. There's a character. There's a character. Dean Cain. There's a character that like. Dean Cain, yes. Dean Cain Comics. That like is you.

Yeah. I read comic books weekly. I'm a big fan of a writer named Gail Simone. And she's also a fan of mine. Listen to my podcast, Who Charted. And she surprised me by creating a character named Catharsis. That's her cape name. But her street name is Kulap Vilaysak.

And that alone is a huge thrill for me. It's just so – It's in continuity too. It's in continuity. Say no Elseworlds character. It's so cool. Simply the idea that she chose

to name this character Kulav Vlasek when she could have named it Dip Dipson, Chip Dipson or Dip Dobson. Dip Dobson already exists in the Marvel Universe. So he'd be stepping on some shit. There may be copyright issues shit. Yeah, there may be copyright issues there. Yeah, exactly.

So I like that. I mean, it also creates a dimensional rift that's, frankly, more trouble than it's worth. That's a good point. Let's keep it cool out of Lysak.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, let's keep... Thank you. Yeah, fair enough. Thank you. Fair enough. She shows up in, like, a Batgirl and then

is a villain, and then is a villain. And then Gale created a new title completely called The Movement. And so my character moved in to be sort of a part of a vigilante teen group. And my character is sort of the Catman or the Hothead. Wait, the Catman? group and and my character is sort of the um cat man or the hothead um and wait the cat man yeah cat man from secret six i know that's not helpful in any way and it makes it sound like he's actually this is like this like um like brutal fighter that's like yeah and um so so she asked me for help. She wanted to know my background to create Catharsis' origin story.

And, of course, the end being that I don't even know my own origin story. Well, I, for one, I'm intrigued about where this story goes. I want to ask you about what it was like when you went back and meeting your birth dad and stuff like that. However, instead of doing that, I'm going to save that for when you come on my national public radio program, Bullseye, when this movie comes out.

Oh my God, that would be awesome. Because there are all these people who are out there, and you know what they're on? Tenter hooks. Right now, these people are on tenter hooks. And Molly. These people are rolling, listening to podcasts. Burning Love?

Burning Man? Is that still happening? Okay. Yeah. It would be great if Burning Love had a promotional village at Burning Man. Is that Ken Marino shirtless. Washing everybody's taints. Yeah, he'd be taint blaster.

Oh, he would totally be taint blaster. So where is the Indiegogo for people who want to check it out and see the trailer? The trailer's really cool. There's a lot of cool stuff there, a lot of cool thank you gifts. People can try and get on our mutual friend Scott Ackerman's program, Comedy Bang Bang. Yeah, you can say a line.

There's all kinds of really cool stuff you can do. Or you can just throw five bucks at it or something. Throw some five bucks. Yeah, five or... Please check out originstorydoc...

Nope, messed it up. originstorydoc.com and that'll be information on the project. You'll see the trailer there and also the link to our Indiegogo page is right on there. OriginStoryDoc.com. Don't be a chump. I'm excited. I'm excited about this.

It's really – I'll tell you, Laos is a really amazing place for those reasons that you described, I mean, the fact that in Southeast Asia, it's almost unique in that it remains substantially undeveloped. And it's in large part because of unexploded ordnance, but also because they have this communist government that's, you know, one of the few that's still hanging around. And so there's just huge swaths of the country that are still small groups, you know, small, small groups of subsistence farmers. Yeah. You know what I mean? And there also is sort of a national sort of personality or flavor to it. Like it's Lao PDR, People's Democratic Republic, you know, but it's really short for please don't rush. Everyone is very laid back. Lao time is like slow and we'll see. You know, but it's really short for please don't rush. Everyone is very laid back.

Lao time is like slow and we'll see, you know, don't expect it. If you have an appointment at 1230, that really means like three. I'm going to throttle this goose on my own time. That's right. It's like beer Lao is like that. That can happen at any time and it's going to happen hard. It's it's a really laid back. As someone who worked there for a time, I can going to happen hard. It's really laid back. As someone who worked there for a time, I can

confirm that. Super chill. Yeah. Whoa. Chill. Chill to the extreme. To the max. Yeah. There's a joke or one of the loud crew members was telling me. It's like, okay, so work starts at

9. You get there at 9.30, 10. You have to have your okay so you know you work starts at nine you you get there at like 9 30 like 10 you have to have your coffee and then maybe you work for like an hour but then you get hungry so you have to have lunch you do lunch for like two hours you come back and then you work a little bit but then you know at this point you're like at three it's time for like coffee, more coffee. And then it's time to eat. Then you have a three-hour trip to the bathroom because of all the coffee you've been drinking. And then – so then you have to fill yourself up with beer Lao. And there's like – they're so funny because there's all these theories about like, yeah, you know, the reason why Lao people are so lazy is because of the sticky rice. It's the gluten and the sticky rice.

Like you have all these amazing – No, that's probably it. It's the gluten and the sticky rice. Like, you have all these amazing... No, that's probably it. That's probably it. That's why. Do you explain that the Vietnamese have sticky rice as well? What? And there was another thing they were saying, too, is, like, the Lao people... Okay, something like the Vietnamese plant the rice.

Like, the Vietnamese plant the rice, the Chinese harvest harvest it and the Lao people watch it grow Zing! But they're just zinging themselves But they're chilling out man They're so chill They're hanging out in their house And it's so beautiful It's so incredibly beautiful

There's so many temples, old temples. The Mekong River has like so many tributaries and waterfalls. It's truly a gem. And Vientiane, the capital, is like this old colonial city. But it's still – it's the biggest city in Laos by far. But there's – it's only like a half million or something like that. And like the big news, the boss of the NGO in Laos was this guy named Vorison.

And Vor had like – he had done like every – like he had gone – he had like two PhDs from some east of the Iron Curtain University in communist Czechoslovakia or whatever. Like he was like the most accomplished dude. He had like a 1980 Toyota Cressida, which in Laos was like people like chicks would like stop on the street and be like, wow. Cressida. would like stop on the street and be like, wah. Cressida. Like he would literally like just driving down the street, like every policeman would stop him and just like collect a bribe because they figured if he had a car, he had enough money to get bribed.

But anyway, like the big, like outrageous, wild activity that we did while we were in the capital city of this country was that there was a two-lane bowling alley. That was like the big thing. And everyone was fucking stoked about going to this bowling alley. Like this was big fucking news, this bowling alley. It's a pretty low tempo. And that's in the biggest city. Like you go out into the country and it's just like...

No tempo. Yeah, zero tempo. And that's in the biggest city. Like you go out into the country and it's just like. No tempo. Yeah. Zero tempo. Now it's like. I think they would have opened a Chick-fil-A or something like that with all that excitement. Vienta now is more bustling and it's definitely. But it's because there's a lot of Chinese money that's flowing through. So there's like a lot of huge luxury hotels that are basically vacant.

Oh, wow. It's really interesting. It's very interesting. Yeah, it is a trip. It's really – and I was surprised like how many expats are in Vientiane. And like it's almost a lot of people are speaking English. Like it's very – And –

Because there were like – when I was there, there was a couple of places that we went where just inexplicably you'd be like, whoa, where did a thousand white people come from? Because like in Vientiane, I would go the whole day without seeing a white person. Yeah. But then there's a couple of little like resort spots slash like cultural heritage backpacker spots where there was just all of a sudden a thousand Australians wearing beer loud t-shirts. Falang.

They say Falang. Yeah. There was like, now there's a, Vientiane has a lot. Paxay has a lot. It was rare when I was in Savannakate, my mom's village, to see a Falang, like someone who is foreign, you know? But now there's much more. I think money is starting to trickle in.

That's interesting. Yeah. Well, there's only one thing to do. Decide how many five bucks you're going to throw at this thing. Two five bucks? Three five bucks?

Up to a hundred five bucks. I say you could throw in a thousand five bucks. Yeah. You know what I mean? Go to

originstorydoc.com is where you can find out more about our pal's movie here and I think you should do it. Do it. Thanks guys. We'll be back in just a

second on Jordan, Jesse, go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. I listen to Bullseye because each interview makes me really care about who the person is and what they're doing. I have never heard an interviewer so genuinely thanked by teaching every one of his subjects. Jesse does a fantastic job of really bringing people out and making them feel comfortable. You can really just feel a kinship. His interview with Vince Staples made me cry. Bullseye, your guide to what's good from MaximumFun.org and NPR. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, She's fun. She's a fun lady. Hey, guess what, Jordan? What? Jordan and Jesse Goh supported this week by Warby Parker.

All right. A new concept in eyewear. Glasses should not cost as much as an iPhone. Warby Parker has prescription glasses that are fashion forward. They start at $95, including the lenses. I mean. Bargain. Yeah, give me a break.

Bargain. Here's what's really cool about them that I really like. They come in the mail. It's easy, risk-free. You can order up to, I'm taking a look at the thing, five. Yes, that's right. Yeah. Five pairs. Send them to your house with your prescription in them. If you don't like them, you can send them all back and get a full refund. If you like two of them, you can keep those two. Send three back. What I like about this, Jordan, if I may. Please.

Tell me, what do you like about it? It gives you a chance to use your glasses as you would any other accessory. If you spend $790 at the optometrist on your glasses, you just got to wear the same pair of glasses all the time, and they're like a medical device. Sure. But if you're buying them for $95, they've got all kinds of cool styles. You can have a nighttime one. You can wear black for night. Yeah.

Tortoise for day. Try that on for size. Okay. You know? Mix it up midweek. You know what I'm talking about. I get it. You know exactly what I'm talking about, Kulop. So, warbyparker.com slash jjgo.

That's warbyparker.com slash jjgo. Jordan, what does jjgo stand for? Jordan, just to go. The program you're listening to right now. You got it. So you can get up to five glasses. You can try them on at home, and you will get free three-day shipping. So they will show up at your door post facto.

Do it. Ipso facto. You get glasses. Pro quo. We get Warby Parker knowing that our that our listeners support us yeah do it

Vox Populi that's when they'll show up Vox post haste post haste is what I was looking for yeah

warbyparker.com slash JJ go death to tyrants hey we got an announcement up on the Jumbotron this week too Jordan oh I'd love to hear about it our hero comic

it's an indie go-go project to make hamsters and hands a a nonfiction history of hamsters. Love it. The listener who's doing this project emailed me about it. And I, you know, except in the case of Akulap Vlaizak, I don't want to talk about somebody's crowdfunding project necessarily. somebody's crowdfunding project necessarily. But I was so excited because this is not only the history and current story of hamsters. It is also going to be stop motion animated.

It sounds like a story that needs to be told. Oh, there's no. How could you not? Come on. Get a secret life of hamsters. This is what this is. This is what he says. My mission is to tell the story in current the history and current story of hamsters.

What an exotic creature. It comes from a hidden history of hiding in Syrian archaeological digs. It runs wild and causes havoc on the farmers in Europe. Some stand at eight inches tall. Did you know any of that? No. No. Not one. Well then, help him tell the amazing story of these wonderful, common, beloved animals.

Search Hamsters in Hand on Indiegogo or go to OurHeroComic.com. OurHeroComic.com. Sounds great. I think that's going to be great. I had a hamster named Cora as a child. Got out. I had one named Hulkster. After Hulk Hogan. Yeah, because he's, got out. I had one named Hulkster after Hulk Hogan.

Yeah, because he's in the house. Yeah. Did your dad step on yours and crush it? Did yours? No, I think he just ran away. Mine did. True story. Fun story. Speaking of true stories, one more thing I want to mention.

You guys might know this. I host a public radio program yeah called bullseye with me jesse thorne um we are doing a live show here in the great city of los angeles on october 15th at the uh uh what's this place called? The Mason's Hall? The Masonic Lodge. Oh, cool. Thank you. The Masonic Lodge at Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Great.

Oh, cool. Which is like the coolest place ever. It's such a great space. We are booking guests right now. And I cannot tell you who they are. But they're totally amazing. Hulk Hogan. Not Hulk Hogan.

Oh. Ultimate warrior. I will give you aogan. Not Hulk Hogan. Oh. But let's just say. Ultimate warrior. I will give you a hint. By no means is this confirmed. The Legion of Doom. But there's a strong possibility right now. Bushwhackers.

Your hint is. Sergeant Slaughter. That she may be the most beautiful woman ever to almost become an Olympic archer. Despite the fact that everyone thinks of her as a great actress and for good reason. Can I say it or no? No, you can't say it. Well, I want to guess. No, you can't guess. I'm not allowed?

No. Fine. We'll see. We'll see if she... It's looking good, but it's not confirmed. Kate Bishop, the female Hawkeye. You got it. Anyway, please buy your tickets now because our goal for people who live in Southern California,

what we really want to do is have a regular standing date at this beautiful place. But we can only do it if we sell the show out. So MaximumFun.org, you can find the link and all the information. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jessica. Love you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris. Boy detective.

Cool up, tukta, vilaysak. Asian. It's true. Yeah. I'm not going to dispute it. Don't. If I got in a dispute on that, I'd lose. Yeah, man. I just want to say, can I make a, not a correction, but just an amendment to a comment I made earlier?

All right. When I was suggesting that you Hadouken me through a wall. Right. It was not because you were Asian. Oh, I did not take that. It was because you practice Reiki healing, which is an energy-based discipline. I never, it didn't even occur to me. Okay.

Yeah. Because there are white guys who cannot do it. Ken comes to mind. Right. That one. All American. So I just didn't want people to think I was racist. Yeah.

Anyway. Thank you for that clarification, though. No problem. Appreciate it. Did you tell me that I could do that yoga arms thing to you because I'm green? Wait, blue? Is he blue? No.

What color is he? Are you talking about Dhalsim? No, he's just the color of an Indian man. Oh. I thought he was weird colored. No. I mean, like, you know, if you're, like, when, you know, like, Championship Edition came around and you could play as the same guy. He was a little bit more yellow, but that was just to differentiate the... No, but I think it wasn't like when he had like a power, he would become sort of like Shiva blue.

Like if it wasn't there, I feel like there was some sort of dog Manhattan kind of thing. Jordan would know. Okay. Yeah. Okay, Jordan would. I mean, the Street Fighter characters all, they have, you know, different color palettes. Sure. That you can swap between.

And you can make your own color palettes in later versions. But traditionally, he's just, you know, the color of an Indian man. His coloring is pretty realistic. I'm sorry, Jordan. It's okay. I want you to know. It's okay. It's what I'm here for.

I want you to know that I was trying to make that joke because I thought you'd think it was cool. No, I do think it's cool. Because I know that you really love Street Fighter. Oh, wow. And I really care about you. You're one of my best friends. Sure. Thank you.

And we've been colleagues for so long. Sure. And I thought if I remembered sort of playing Street Fighter. Yeah. And I thought if I could say something cool about Street Fighter that you would think I was cool. No, I know where you were coming from. Yeah, no, it's fine. I'm so grateful to be inside of this, like, intimacy.

You know what? It's warm. I'm so glad that you're in our faux womb right now. You know what, guys? You guys both open your mouth. I want to put something under your tux. You're just going to fucking walk into the desert and see what happens. Can I say one more thing?

Sure. We're not going to do momentous occasions this week with calls. However, I do want to share two momentous occasions with the two of you. Please. momentous occasions with the two of you. Please. Number one, for the first time in nearly two and a half months, our good friend and producer Brian Fernandez is back behind the boards. Welcome.

A pleasure to see you, Sonny D. That's number one. Number two, you probably know that he spent two and a half months in London, England. Ooh. Hello, mate, is what he was saying. Having some muffins. Sure. Crumpets. Scones.

Mm-hmm. Mr. Bean. Bongers. Bongers. But something momentous happened to our friend Brian Fernandez. Mm-hmm. He got engaged. Yeah.

Congratulations, Brian. He did it in the City of Love. He got engaged. Yeah. Congratulations, Brian. He did it in the city of love, Paris, France. Hey, classy. He brought a special lock to lock onto something to symbolize love, but he didn't put it on a bridge because he heard about how bridges are collapsing.

So he just put it on somebody's fence. He just put it on a dog's collar. Just put it on somebody's fence. You just put it on a dog's collar. Just put it on. But congratulations to Brian and Lauren on their great love. They're going to be marrying at some point in the future. And proud we are of all of them. Yes. Marriage is a wonderful thing.

So congratulations, Brian. That is a truly momentous occasion. So congratulations, Brian. That is a truly momentous occasion. You know, you should record this and play it back for Lauren so you can get it up. I'm erect, and that's truly a momentous occasion. Well, we had a lot of fun with Kulap Velayisak. You can listen to her podcast, Who Chartered, which you should listen to.

It's a blast with the great Howard Kramer. Howie Kramer. You can call him Howie Kramer if you want to. Call him Wee Wee. Call him DBS, Dragon Boy Suede. That's his rap persona. That's right. But now he's all about singing about Sama.

Yeah. That's his thing. He's a Sama singer. He loves. He's a salt in the Sama. You can find that on your iTunes or in your podcasts of your Wolf Network. And then, of course, you can go to originstorydoc.com to kick a few bucks towards this great documentary that Kulop's working on. I'll tell you what.

Can I say something? Sure. Cool Up is not in here because she has this thing to pitch, and she sent me an email, hey, Jesse, can I come on your podcast so I can pitch this thing that I've got to pitch? Because I heard on Twitter that she was working on this thing. I looked at it. I thought it was so cool.

It's been a while since we've had our pal Cool Up in here. Too long. I said, we need to get on this thing. I looked at it. I thought it was so cool. It's been a while since we've had our pal Kulop in here. Too long. I said, we need to get on this. This is a confluence of streams that is turning into a mighty river of great. Oof. You know? Like the mighty Mississippi. Exactly.

Love that river. The mighty Mississippi. Love that river. Yeah. You're like Huck and I N-word Joe. I'm some raft I'm so rough our theme music is Love You by The Free Design courtesy of The Free Design

and Light in the Attic Records you can hashtag us on Twitter hashtag JJ Go or hashtag Jordan for the League hashtag Cool Op For Archer Tradesies Tradesies Jordan for the league. Hashtag co-op.

For Archer. Tradesies. Tradesies. Jesse. At Jesse Thorne. Yes. Tradesies at Jesse Thorne. We're on Facebook.

Lots of great stuff going on on the Reddit at reddit.com slash r slash maximumfund and on our forum at forum.maximumfund.org. We'll get in there. We'll share some quips and stories. Youximumfun.org. We'll get in there. We'll share some quips and stories. You have a question about the show? Post it in there. We'll probably answer. Why not? What the fuck are we doing?

Nothing important. No. He works on At Midnight. It's like the least important thing in the world. I mean, it's fun. Yeah. As far as importance goes, it's pretty down there. I run a podcast network that's literally the least important thing in the world. So, you know. Listen, we're boils down there. I run a podcast network. That's literally the least important thing in the world.

So, you know. Listen, we're boils on society. We are leeches sucking up precious resources. Yeah, lance us at reddit.com slash r slash MaximumFun or forum.maximumfun.org. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. 35. MaximumFun.org. Comedy and culture. I'm Jordan Jessica. 35!