Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 377: Dick Canoes with Rye Silverman

Episode Date: May 18, 2015

Comedian Rye Silverman joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of religious Sonic the Hedgehog fan art, the new Max Mad movie, and Rye's recent experience going viral.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, war boy. War boy? I'm sorry! Look out! Whoa! What's going on? Talk about a wardrobe malfunction

jesse's pants fell down when he said that he has a heart-shaped boxer shorts the funniest of the boxer shorts classic comedy boxer shorts sorry okay i'm gonna introduce because our introduction because our guest already introduced herself to our listeners through her own very voice, I think I'll have to introduce her so that you can talk about your new nickname, which is really big news. Los Angeles-based stand-up comedian, new stand-up album called Intimate Apparel. Rye Silverman, welcome to our program.

Hello, thank you. Sorry, we're speaking out of turn. No, my apology. But to be fair, in your defense, shit went down. That's true. It would be hard to... I think it's fair to say that all bets were off. Yeah, I do pride myself on being the good podcast guest and being like, no, I'm not introduced yet, I'll be quiet. But then, yeah, there was a, you know, you guys started throwing punches at each other, your clothes were coming off, I didn't know what else to do.

Jesse's hilarious heart boxer shorts made an appearance. Right, Exactly. Just real quick. Would it be hard to get heart boxer shorts? Those are probably pretty. No, you're going to make the gap at Valentine's Day. There you go. Boom.

Handled. And there's some dude. There's someone on Etsy who's also like, I have the market down on vintage heart boxer shorts. Yeah. And sock garters. Sure. In case you're right. In case your suspenders snap in the middle of an important gala. You want to make sure it's as hilarious as it can be.

There is literally a person on Etsy right now who sells clothing barrels. Yeah. Like barrels with straps that go over your shoulder. Oh, in case you lose all your money. Yeah. It was nice of old timey casinos to have barrels just lying around in case someone lost all their money. They could go over Niagara Falls. Right, because barrels were so cheap and easy to acquire that it was easy just to give them away.

The pickles come in these. Well, it was a nation of... God damn it, what's a person that makes a barrel called? I thought if I started the sentence... A cooper. A bungholer. A bungholer. A bunghole is a real called. I thought if I started the sentence, a Cooper. A bungholer. A bungholer. A bungholer is a real thing.

It's a thing in a barrel. Yeah. No, I guess the... You let the juice out. So really the bungholer is somebody who screws up the barrel. The barrel was great

and then the bungholer made it useless from now on. Seymour. Sorry, guys. That's old Seymour the bungholer. Just doing my job. Whoop. Okay, war boy. Spill the beans. Oh, no. That's old Seymour the Bungholer. Just doing my job. Whoop.

Okay, war boy, spill the beans. Oh, no, that's just the name of the, like, proletariat class in the new Mad Max movie. They're war boys. God damn it. So is this episode of Jordan and Jesse Go just going to be Jordan's already seen Mad Max and Jesse hasn't seen Mad Max yet. No, we can wait until you've seen Mad Max to talk about it. Rye, have you seen Mad Max? I have not seen Mad Max.

Ha! Two to one. So I guess I'm just trying to embrace, you know, I'm trying to embrace the different kinds of boys out there. Sure. So you are already a famous summer boy. Yeah. I mean, I like summer boy a lot and I've got a lot of big plans for the summer. Right.

To, you know, kind of ease into that nickname. Yeah. But, I mean, last night when seeing Mad Max, I heard another great kind of boy name. Right. And I decided I'd just snatch it. See how it feels this week, you know? Can I tell you something about Mad Max real quick? It was directed by Babe Pig in the City Guy.

Yes. I know. That's not what I want to talk about. An excuse to talk about Babe Pig in the City. That's not what I want to talk about. An excuse to talk about Babe Pig in the City. That's not what I want to talk about. Okay. I was at Red Cat, the Roy and Edna Disney Contemporary Arts Theater or something like that. And I was watching this children's animation something festival.

I don't know. Anyway. Oh, I also don't think you should see Mad Max. I think it's too loud for you. No, I'm definitely going to see Mad Max. Oh, okay. I'm think you should see Mad Max. I think it's too loud for you. No, I'm definitely going to see Mad Max. Oh, okay. I'm fucking stoked about seeing Mad Max. Oh, interesting.

All right. I don't mind loud movies. Hmm. Okay. I saw it and I'm like, oh boy, that is not up here. Maybe it is. Maybe you'll love it. Really?

Yeah. How come? It's just loud and crazy. I like loud, crazy movies. Okay. But it's supposed to be kind of beautiful and it's loud and crazy. Yeah. Oh, totally.

It absolutely is. Yeah. I'm on its loud and craziness. Yeah, oh, totally. It absolutely is. Yeah, I'm on board for that. Okay. Yeah, absolutely. So I sit down in my movie theater seat, and I'm next to my son's friend, Ellis' dad. Ellis' dad, a real nice guy. Is this a daddy's day out situation? Roughly speaking, yeah.

Okay. Just a couple of daddies? Yeah, we're making a sequel to Baby's Day Out. Oh, yeah. Daddy's Day in the City. Are there any war boys in attendance? How many war boys are there? This is a movie theater full of war boys.

Yeah. WWWBs. And the... I said somehow this is what happened. I don't remember the context because there roughly speaking was no context. But a dad three seats over to my left just turned over and said, saw Mad Max in 3D last night. To you guys? Yeah.

Cool. Were you impressed? No, I was angry. I haven 3D last night. To you guys? Yeah. Cool. Were you impressed? No, I was angry. I haven't seen it yet. He's just bragging. I was just looking for somebody to brag to that he's got a great dad set up. He gets to go see Mad Max on opening night in 3D. Oh, man.

I have to wait a week. I have to make plans a month in advance to wait a week to see Mad Max. What do you think this dad's deal is? Yeah. It's George Miller, actually, of all people. He did. A month in advance to wait a week to see Mad Max. What do you think this dad's deal is? I don't know. Yeah. It's George Miller, actually, of all people. He got to see his own movie. Yeah.

He was an elderly Australian man. Yeah. I felt I was upset by it. I didn't care for that at all. Yeah. Because I want to go see Mad Max. You don't go bragging to me. Man, I had some.

Out of nowhere, too. That's the thing. If you had been saying, oh, I really want to see Mad Max, and he's like, oh, no. Also, out of nowhere, too, that's the thing. If you had been saying, I really want to see Mad Max, and he's like, oh, no, I saw it. It's great. That makes sense. It's not just like, hey, I just want to hear how great my movie going experience was. Also, when you're in line for snacks, he's like, oh, my wife's in the three

ways. Okay, great. You have a sweet setup. Congratulations. Nobody ever goes in my home theater room. I was seated next to some cosplayers in my screening of Mad Max last night. Were they Mad Max cosplayers? They were Mad Max cosplayers.

Really? It's just kind of general apocalypse. Well, one guy did look like Mel Gibson from the first movies, and he was with some, like... One guy actually just was Mel Gibson. Yeah, right. Heard this was good. All he has left. Like that guy in yours, he just turned around and he's like, I was in the first one.

I know. We all know. Congratulations. Boy, and I was like, oh, this is cool. These guys are like Mad Maxing it up. Oh, boy, they smelled. Oh, yeah. Are they cosplayers or is that just their clothes that they have?

We're the lifestylers. They all went to Pitch Perfect 2 like that the next day. Just in their fucking football pads, spray-painted black. Because you have like steampunk. I'm ready, pitches. I did see Pitch Perfect 2. That's cool. In 3D.

No, you got to see it in the correct aspect ratio. If you don't see Pitch Perfect 2 in IMAX, don't even bother going to see Pitch Perfect 2. I saw it at the California Science Center. It was amazing. Yeah, sure. You got to see it as the filmmaker intended. Yeah, so those guys smelled. Anyway.

You know Elizabeth Banks directed Pitch Perfect 2? Very cool. I didn't know that. Yeah, Elizabeth Banks is awesome. I love her. I didn't know she directed it. By the way, Pitch Perfect 2 is really funny. I bet.

I believe it. I'm looking forward to it. So anyway, I like the idea that Elizabeth Banks, like big innovation, she's like, we're going 3D IMAX. Yeah, sure. It's got to be bigger and better. 3D IMAX. Yeah, a. It's got to be bigger and better. Mm-hmm. 3D IMAX. Yeah, a lot of space scenes too.

It's great. They have to win the, like the singing club is going to get kicked out of the school. Sure. But there's a loophole. That they have to travel through a wormhole and learn that love is the secret to time travel. Roughly speaking, yeah.

I mean, they have to. I didn't see Interstellar, but I've been told that's what the twist is. They have to win at Worlds. Sure. Yeah. So they got to take on the evil German team. Alpha Centauri.

God. One thing about making a movie like this, Kay Cannon was who wrote the Pitch Perfect movies, was on Bullseye. It's got to be fun to make a movie where, like, there's no... like, you are sincerely pursuing a plot, but there is absolutely no interest from anyone involved in having any twists or unique plot notions at all. Yeah. So you just set that aside completely, like, 100%.

You're just, like, she told me the first movie, she just really liked Bring It On, so she just exactly copied the plot. Sure. This is something funny. I also like Bring It On, by the way. Yeah, it's good. They basically just take a very basic plot and then just stuff it full of jokes with good characters, which I'm kind of okay with. The songs are fun to listen to. I feel the same way about a good sports movie.

Yeah. Like, you know, sure, it's exactly the same as any other sports movie. Yeah, they're going to win at the buzzer. I really liked Rocky Balboa also. Continue, Jordan. I was looking at the website Imgur. Yeah. This is a website for images.

Yeah, it's a place where Redditors put their amateur pornography. Yeah, exactly. And, wait, I was going to say, and Sonic jacking off, but I guess that also falls under the... Yeah. Well, Sonic's a professional. Yeah. Although I don't know if he's getting paid to jack off. I was looking at a Sonic...

I definitely have a fascination with Sonic fan art. It's so weird. It's easily the weirdest of the fan art. Because it goes in so many directions. There's really strangely Christian ones. Oh, I love those. Yeah, those ones are so bizarre. Like you just see Sonic looking out into like an open sea with a sunset and like a cross.

Yeah. What is happening? I think I've talked about this on the show before. So apologies if this is a repeat. But I do want to talk about just a really quick – my favorite part of one of those is that they – you know, it's Sonic and he's gazing out over a, you know, over a sunset. Yeah, yeah. And there'll be a Bible verse, but they will just add Sonic's name into it. Oh, that's great.

So they'll cite it. It'll be like, you know, no one comes to the Father but through me, comma, Sonic. Like Matthew 14.3. There was only one set of footprints. That's when Tails was carrying you. That actually does make sense. It's true. There wouldn't be footprints because he'd be carrying him.

Can I ask you a serious question here? Yes. I don't know if I'll know the answer. Okay. Are these Christian messages or are these messages for a new religion which worships Sonic in a Christian manner? Because it seems like what you're describing is them just replacing God or Jesus with Sonic or Tails. No, no, no. That's not what they're doing.

It's not because, no, no. That's not what they're doing. They are – It's not because of the Holy Ghost. They are sending – they – this is – these – best I can tell. Yeah, I know what he's talking about. These art pieces are about getting Sonic to come to Christ. So they are – this is like Sonic falling before a cross and weeping. They don't worship Sonic. They want him to be Christian.

Thou shalt not Sonic. So is their concern is that Sonic is a heathen? Yes. His don't worship Sonic. They want him to be Christian. Thou shalt not Sonic. So their concern is that Sonic is a heathen? Yes. His only god is Ring. Sure, yeah. I mean, yeah, he is a metaphor for gluttony. Well, there is one of the games where he becomes a werewolf, so maybe they're afraid he's been possessed by the devil, and that's why

he has lycanthropy. Wait, there's a Sonic the Hedgehog werewolf game? It's like Mario, where they just have made like 80 different games that have Sonic's name on them, and they are all probably at least like the worst games. But like without any quality control. Right, they're just terrible. The Mario games at least are, I think, shepherded forward by, you know, Nintendo people who know, who have an interest in quality. Sonic games, they were just shitting them out for years.

There's one called like Sonic, I think, Unleashed. And at some point in the game, like I've never played it,, but I've seen screenshots. Because he's been leashed in the previous games. Yeah, yeah. In all those other games, the only thing he does is run around uncontrollably. He's been locked up. Oh, anyway, so, back two steps. I've seen all manner of

Sonic fan art, porn, religious, etc. I saw one the other day where it was just a fat Sonic tweaking his nipple, and for some reason, that was the grossest to me. Yeah, that's the worst. He didn't have a dick. I've seen him getting fucked by knuckles. Yeah, yeah. Wait a minute.

Jesse made the face that the Sonic had. It was the perfect Sonic is tweaking his nipple face. How do you do knuckles on Sonic porn and not have a fisting be the method of choice for delivery? Like how would that? You know, right. You're absolutely right.

That was a missed opportunity. We got to find that fan artist. Have you thought about writing a letter? Dear perverts. Dear Governor Jerry Brown. I thought we were writing a fanfic. I was perusing. With something I seen on Imgur. Oh, I've seen on Imgur.

Oh, so my point about Imgur. And by the way, fix the drought. I have drought and sonic issues. Two concerns. I will take them in turn in the order of their precedence. So the Imgur. So people will post, you post – it's fan art. It's quotes from Doctor Who, a lot of food porn, and also just like funny signs is a big one.

Like when a barista will do a cute chalk thing. Yeah, somebody puts a funny message outside a church. Yeah, exactly. Sure. And the thing that is on there is people taking pictures of like signs and T-shirts of it's just like the oldest joke. Like, you know, those signs people hang out, hang up by like a pool that says like, we don't we don't swim in your toilet. Don't pee in our pool. Welcome to my pool.

Notice there's no pee. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So people will take pictures of these things, put them up miniature. Ha ha ha. So funny. So true. Crazy, crazy. And. So people will take pictures of these things, put them up in a miniature and go, ha, ha, ha, so funny, so true, crazy, crazy. And it's like, well, what – this is – like this is the most obvious thing. This is in every dad's rec room. Oh, the people using this are 12 and they've just never seen this.

And I think that's – when we as 30-year-old internet guys gripe about plots of movies and stuff, it's like, well, these are for 12-year-olds who have not been watching movies their whole life. And it's like, eh, they don't know about the evil school and they don't know about – Well, there are now whole adults who have never watched movies. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Lindsay. She works in our office. She doesn't watch movies. Oh, yeah? Yeah. What does she watch? Video game streams. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Lindsay. She works in our office. She doesn't watch movies. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. What does she watch? Video game streams. Oh, sure. She sits on Pops and Popcorn and puts on Twitch? Yeah, watches somebody play Legend League. Yeah. Get some cool one-ups or whatever.

You got to get one-ups. You know what I'm talking about. Give you a special outfit. Yeah. I've got a pretty sophisticated understanding. The most internet-y of comments I got was like way back early on like like days of like live journal or something and somebody had commented like i posted the thing about music and their comment was i don't listen to american pop music anymore i don't listen to music from japanese video games and this is back in like the mid-2000s we're like that was still pretty much midis yeah they're listening to it i like, why would you go out of your way

to like make, like you clearly want me to pat you on the head and go, wow, you're very interesting. Whoa, you sound like a cool dude.

Yeah. Our friend Brent Weinbach has an entire podcast about middies. Oh, he doesn't have that anymore. Oh, he doesn't?

Yeah, I hung it up. Did it run its course? I think so, yeah. It covered all of the WrestleMania games. The Japan, man, Wein? I think so, yeah. It covered all of the- The Japan- Man, Weinbach's podcast was a trip.

It was- Brent Weinbach, for those who don't know Brent Weinbach, he is a stand-up comedian here in Los Angeles, also in San Francisco. One of the funniest stand-up comics in the country. Sure. I was on a show with him last night. He's funny. Brent Weinbach is. I just want to show him last night.

Brent Weinbach is. And he's also one of the most distinctive in that he has a very quiet, intense look. Imagine like a small substitute teacher who's half Filipino holding a microphone directly in front of his face with both hands. Perfect description. And talking like this all the time. And, yeah, one of the funniest dudes on earth had this podcast about video game music, which, from what I understand, he was very serious about. Yeah, and he really prided himself on playing the deep cuts. You know, like, okay, everybody knows, you know. I'm going to play the player select screen from a Japanese-only Mahjong game for Game Boy.

Literally something we discussed when I was on his podcast. What did you think of it? I mean, I thought it was pretty rocking. Oh, was it rock-themed? Well, I mean, those old... Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-d dun-dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun, you know. I bet if I got a few notes, I could probably finish the phrase of something from Bugs Bunny Magic Castle. Yeah, sure. For Game Boy. Crazy Castle?

Bug Bunny's Crazy Castle? I think it's Crazy Castle. Crazy Castle. How crazy was this castle? Well, I don't know. Bugs Bunny's going around trying to get carrots, so it's pretty crazy. I've never seen a castle like that before. Mostly it's like knights and stuff.

Not a lot of produce happening in most castles. Not a lot of floating produce. Not a lot of wiseacre rabbits either. No. Mostly you're talking about your jesters. Your cook staff. Yeah, people making pies out of meat. And birds, yeah.

Yeah, lots of different birds. Yeah, four and making pies out of meat. And birds, yeah. Yeah, lots of different birds. Yeah, four and twenty of them. Can I tell you... Brian Gantz is giving us some Bucks Money Crazy Castle jams. This is a little funky. It is. This is a little funky. I read a book once... Games got sold.. It is. This is a little funky. I read a book once.

Games got sold. A little nasty. It's kind of nasty. Nasty. Oof. Are you guys... Bugs, you nasty. Are you familiar with...

Are you familiar with bestselling author Bill Bryson? I know of him. Yeah, right. So he'll write like... Sunburn Country or something. Yeah, notes from a sunburn country, something Sunburn Country or something. Yeah, and notes from a sunburned country, something like that. He writes... We used to be a travel writer. Now he's a more general

non-fiction writer. Very funny, very interesting writer. And, you know, for sort of like your non-fiction beach reads. And he wrote this book on... Would you call his genre Ronson-esque? It his genre Ronson-esque?

It's very Ronson-esque, yeah. That's a good genre. It's probably my number one genre. And, you know, you got your Mary Roaches. You got your, yeah, sure. And he wrote this book that was called Home. It was a history of, like, domestic life. And it was very interesting throughout full of interesting stuff uh but i have to say by far the champion was just this one chapter about like what kings

ate in medieval times which was just anything like there was a period of like 400 years where for Europeans, the number one prestige thing was to have 77 different kinds of birds on your table. All the species. Every bird. Now you just think, what do you eat? You eat a squab. You eat a chicken. You eat a duck. Cornish game hen.

Cornish game hen. Yeah. They're just like, yeah yeah we have toucan tonight that's great just like any kind of bird we have toucan and there's like

a whole other I don't like toucan well we have we have nightingale flamingo like they ate every kind of bird and like if it was

like a tiny hard to catch bird and it had almost no meat in it and didn't taste very good that was like the best kind

yeah I was talking to I was talking to last week's guest Emmy Blotnick And then I had almost no meat in it. It didn't taste very good. That was like the best kind. Yeah. Yeah. I was talking to last week's guest, Emmy Blotnick. We worked together and we were sitting outside. And something fun that happens around the office. Sometimes we have a little area outside we can sit in. Sometimes a hummingbird will come by. We should explain, by the way, where you work, Jordan. Sure.

You work at GE in the turbine division. Yeah. They give us a little air. It gets a little loud. Yeah. And sometimes a hummingbird will come by. Everyone in the office really likes it when a hummingbird will visit. Emmy does not like it.

She thinks that they are gross. What? Yeah. What? That's cool. I know. It's a weird opinion. I love hummingbirds.

That's great, though. opinion uh i love hummingbirds that feels very strongly about feels very strongly about um it being gross when a hummingbird comes around what's gross about it well i mean i think we i because i was wondering too and i couldn't quite i couldn't get a get a decent answer can i guess yeah sure here's my guess okay it's like you know how when there's soldiers she just loves nectar and wants it all for herself. There's not enough kerns in the world. Yeah. You know when soldiers are like marching on a bridge? Drink a bite of kerns nectar.

You got it. Can I tell you a side story about kerns nectar? I think it's the one where your dad would buy one for you before school. And I hated it. I know. I hated it. Man know. I hated it. Man, as soon as those get a little bit lukewarm, they just turn into like a solid almost. Okay.

So you know how soldiers marching across a bridge, then sometimes they hit like the sympathetic resonance or whatever, and the bridge just spontaneously collapses and they all die i think that it might be that she has that feeling about the thrumming of the wings of a hummingbird sure that makes her like spontaneously vomit or something so did she vomit at all uh no i mean i i don't think that's it i don't think it's a frequency thing at all her pants for poopoos i should have you should have asked to check her pants for poopoos but yeah but i mean that's something else something's gross and you can't explain it, you should probably always check their pants for poopoos. But that's something, I mean, because we are coworkers, that was something I would probably have to talk to HR about. That's a fair point.

Yeah. Anyways, we came up, we kind of hashed it out and we came up with a... Just take it all the way up the line to Jack Welch, the CEO of General Electrics. It's me, Jack. It's me, Jack Welch, businessman from 1988. What do you want? I'm in the middle of a polo game. We came up with a phrase that I think we really liked that I think describes how she feels about hummingbirds, and that is slimy air mice.

Yeah, that's fair. So, yeah. I can understand that. With Jack Welch, by the way, my first thought with Jack Welch is always that scene in The Late Shift where he's at that weird meeting where they decide to go with Leno over Letterman. And he comes in. He basically has a golf club. He's basically just like Bob Hope coming in. Like, what would you do?

Well, my vote goes to loyalty. And then he leaves the meeting. I'm like, why is he even here? This is the meeting about NBC Studios. Just randomly, just let's write in Jack Welch for no reason. Yeah, that's one of the principles of Six Sigma. It's that Jack Welch always has to be there with a golf club. Even now, when they're doing total quality management at General Electric, his ghost haunts the corridors.

He's the guy from Scrooge. You got it. Well, we'll be back in just a second with more on Jordan, Jesse, go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, and welcome to Pop Rocket, a new weekly show picking over the pop culture we all love to love. With me to talk TV, film, music, and anything else entertaining are journalist Margaret Wobbler, academic, writer, and DJ Oliver Wang, digital strategist Winner Mitchell, and comedian Santina Muha. It's an intellectual and incredibly snark-filled discussion about pop culture by five cranky Hollywood 30-somethings. No name-calling, no rudeness, just straight talk and a lot of role play. I'm only 30-something for another year. Me too.

And I don't tell anybody I'm 30-something. Pop Rocket comes out every week from MaximumFun.org. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, Worst Boy Detective. Rye Silverman. Fashion. Fashionello. Fashionello? I was trying to say Fashionita, and I just got it all. I paused. I was like, am I supposed to give myself a cool nickname? Because I know that's historically what people do. You should know that Fashionita isn't a word either. Fashionista is a word. That's what I was trying to say.

I like Fashionello. Fashionello. I like it. It's actually Danny DeVito was actually releasing a vodka named after me. Oh, sure. Danny DeVito's Fashionello. Danny DeVito's Rice Silverman's Fashionello. It's a taste of style from this famous fellow.

By the way, I would like to point out that I just did a Wayne Brady style parody of the theme song from Danny DeVito's Limoncello. I appreciate it. I was in photography, you know, I was taking this photography class at the art center. Yeah. And in my photography class, it's like if you, there's just a couple of, you know, people listen to this show, there's no, they know there's a couple buttons they could push if it came to it.

You know, they could bring up Bay Big in the City or whatever. Right. Somehow, Danny DeVito's Limoncello came on, and I literally stopped the class. Now, granted, it's like a six-person class. Yeah. But I literally stopped the class so everyone could listen to the Danny DeVito's Limoncello song. Where was it playing? It plays on his website.

The website plays it. Wait. No, it doesn't. Not anymore, but it's still on YouTube. Sorry, did I zone out for part of the story? Why were you looking on Danny DeVito's website for your photography class? No, someone said something about making lemon, they were making lemon at home, and somebody said, you know, Danny DeVito has a limoncello, and I said, have you guys heard the thing

Can we go to the website? Do I know Danny DeVito has a limoncello? Danny DeVito's limoncello, sung by the world's worst Dean Martin. Domino's Limoncello sung by the world's worst Dean Martin I recently had

I had thought about Limoncello the other day because I had Ciroc for the first time which is a diddy's luxury vodka yeah

and it was real good it is really good I kind of ordered it as a goof I'll be honest with you I ordered it kind of as a goof yeah the first time

I had it was kind of the same thing the Funny Bone in Columbus had it as like a demo they were like their promo team brought out a bunch. There was like posters for it everywhere or whatever. And so I was like, oh, I got to try this crazy vodka.

I was like, oh, it was actually really good vodka. So now I feel bad about it. I thought the whole point of vodka is that it's not anything. I mean it should be slight. It should taste like something. I think a good vodka. I think maybe my favorite – Potatoes? Yeah, exactly I think a good vodka. I think maybe my favorite. Yeah, well, yeah, exactly, like a tater.

And I think Ciroc is not potatoes, right? I think it's like grapes or something. I think they use something different. Oh, I don't know. I don't know what their base is. I'm not an expert on Ciroc, but I'm pretty sure that that is the case of it. Is it about mouthfeel? It's having like a little hint, maybe a little bit of burn.

You should be able to feel it a little bit. You know, it should kind of hit you in the bones. But yeah, if it's too intense, then it's bad. And that's your vodkas of the gods, your pop-offs. What's your vodka of choice? Tito's. Tito's. I'm a bit of a Grey Goose fan.

Oh, sure. Well, you know. That's my dad. It's high-end. You have high-end tastes. Well, my dad does, and that's what I drink when I'm at his house. Oh, your dad just tossed back Grey Goose. I like that.

You guys are classy. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, but after I tried this rock. Whenever Rye's back home in Columbus, she and her dad go and get table service. Yeah, yeah. They have a VIP, they have a velvet robe. At Thumper's. Your dad's a pretty high roller. Yeah, yeah, of course. have a VIP, you didn't have a velvet robe. At Thumper's. You dance a pretty high roller.

Yeah, yeah, of course. The hottest dance club in Columbus. Thumper's. After I was having the Ciroc, I'm like, God, and I remember the time I tried Lehman Chill. I'm like, this is pretty good. I think all celebrity booze is good. I'm issuing a blanket statement. All celebrity booze is good.

I have not tried Turtle from Entourage's tequila. But I want to. But you've had Cabo Wabo. Cabo Wabo's great, yeah. Now, you know, he what's that guy called? Van Halen guy? Sammy Hagar? Yeah, so that guy sold Cabo Wabo. He soaks his hair in every bat.

He sold that and started a new Hawaiian-themed line of liquor. Did you know that? I did not know that. He sold that shit for like $800 million or something. Well, it's a quality tequila. Like hundreds of millions of dollars. Literally hundreds of millions of dollars. And yeah, he lives in Hawaii, and he's starting a new Hawaiian-themed rum, I want to say.

Okay. Make the tracks. God. That's the life. What a fucking life. I know. Hagar's got it made. Just being around, being sort of a doof.

Yeah. Yeah, make that off of your side gig. That's the thing. Like your 800- Yeah. Like you don't make it from being- In Van Halen. Van Halen.

Right, yeah. Your main gig is running around waving flags, as I understand it. Sure. I understand it. Sure. Anyways, I mean, I don't know why we're gabbing about celebrity liquors. We're talking about a genuine fashionista here. Yeah, we have a recently viraled celebrity in the house. Yeah, I had my touch of viral fame that happened in April.

It was very interesting and weird. How did that come about? Well, I mean, let's be fair. I think my first touch of viral fame came from Jordan Jesse Go's Mement Momentous Occasions back in 2007, I want to say it was. Were you on a Momentous Occasion? I was the call-in. I was the first time out dressed as a woman in public. What?

That was me. I thought you knew that. No. Yeah. Are you kidding? No, I'm totally serious. I thought when I was, yeah, the very first time that I went out and public dressed as a lady, I called into the show. As you should have.

That's good. This is literally the momentous occasion that if someone asks for an example of a great momentous occasion, that's the one that we use. Yeah, I thought you knew that's who I was. I thought that was, wow, look at that. The prestige. This has been a long game. My twin sister walks in. Nikola Tesla has been

creating duplicates of you to kill in a magic show. Is that what happens in that movie? Right. What's your grandpa's favorite movie genre? My grandpa's favorite movie genre is He's Not Alive Anymore. I would say probably gangster movies.

So you're not every one of our – okay. Okay. That's settled. Okay. Yeah, no. I did get locked out by a kid that I was babysitting. That was not me. Second best moment of the occasion.

Second best. Second best. That was a great one. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, that was me. I called in. I think it was like, what, 07, 08, something like that. Yeah, what tracks?

And I went to the – in Columbus, Ohio this there's a website that was like a transgender like support group website and they're called they were like You Are Not Alone and they had this like monthly tea party and it was like

at Thumpers it was at Pyramids in downtown Columbus and it was miserable and that's the thing like I think I said in the phone call like well I'm glad

I got out of my system because at the time I really thought I just want to cross dress I want to dress like a lady before I started transitioning and stuff like that. But I remember the actual event itself was horrible. Because it was like I didn't have anything in common with anybody there except we all dressed like ladies.

That was the only thing. And they were all like 20 years older than me. They weren't super into religious Sonic fan art. No, they were. I mean, I had examples with me. This is a pretty smartphone. So I had mock-ups that I printed out. mean, I was trying to – I had examples with me. You know, this is a pretty smart phone. So I had mockups that I printed out. Yeah, I framed them.

And then there was all these, like, older, like, gay gentlemen. It was like an old, divy gay bar. And so it was like this – like, it was just – the room was separated. It was like an eighth-grade dance where it was, like, all the trans women on one side of the room and all the gay men on the other side of the room. And never the twain shall meet or whatever. And so that was, like, my experience of going out and so i remember salt and pepper was playing absolutely of course i did so would you did you feel like you had to pick a team there yeah well i mean i i like ladies so i had to go to the lady side of the room so that was like pretty much a done deal um but yeah

and then it was karaoke and i sang some david bowie and then i kind of felt like i was going back to the other side of the room again a little bit but you know but yeah i remember i called in like i was driving home and that was my big. So that was my first brush with viral fame was being a. Sure, yeah. Very momentous occasion. Congratulations. A lot of successful careers have been launched off Jordan and Jesse Goh momentous occasion.

I feel like I've finally come full circle from moving to L.A. And like I finally get to be an actual guest on JJ Goh. Oh, sure. Well, we're delighted to have you. Yeah. But the more recent one is. Yeah, I was. So I was named the fashion truth girl for ModCloth.com, which is a style website.

It's a clothing retailer. And they do a thing where they have like a style community where anybody who shops there or anybody who really wants to can upload pictures of themselves rocking their particular favorite style. Yeah, just rocking style. Just rocking style. So it's a cool... From garb to textiles to... Rocking it out. Stees.

I feel like I'm the fashion equivalent of that jazzy riff of video game music that we listen to early. Oh, sure, yeah. Yeah, I feel like I'm... Some funky... Yeah, I'm like the dress version of a Japanese mahjong player's select screen.

But yeah, so they took my pictures. I've been on there for a while and they've been doing this Fashion Truth Girl thing since the fall. I've been a member of the community for like two years. And so yeah, for April, they picked me to be their girl. And they actually, I drove around LA with a photographer and took a bunch of pictures around the city and then they

interviewed me and they posted it and then it got posted on MTV.com and BuzzFeed. Then once BuzzFeed got it, it just started blasting everywhere around the internet. So what kind of local locales in Los Angeles do you take shooting pictures? We shot at – Muscle Beach, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We shot at the – Rollerblades. Yeah. Santa Monica. Classic, yeah. We went down to Long Beach. We went out to Ventura County. We went down to Long Beach, hit the port.

Sure. Up to Ventura. There's a down to Long Beach. Hit the port. Sure. Up to Ventura. There's a great Bubba Gump shrimp out there. Absolutely. That Bubba Gump shrimp on the Long Beach Pier. Yeah, I know. I was there posing. I'm quite aware.

No, I went to Grand Central Station, and we went to Stories Books. Oh, nice. And the photographer also had this one particular, like, it was just a random, like, on some street she drove by. She liked the color of these flowers. And so she wanted me to pose in front of them with one of my dresses that, like, would make it pop. Nice. So we did the Grand Central Station thing because.

Make it pop. What was the, what did you, like, did you, where did you notice that this was happening? Was it on Twitter? Was it on Facebook? Where did you see the most, like, impact? Well, I basically, I mean on a lot of my friends on facebook were reposting all the articles and retagging me so i was seeing them as they were coming and i eventually kind of just like made like a master post of like it like instead of

having to do like every time a new article popped up instead of reposting it like this is in the comments thread of this article of this post here's all the things uh yeah there was basically it just started over the course of that week i I would get Google alerts with what it was. And then also ModCloth's PR lady would send me emails when, like, big ones would come up. Like, when Hello Giggles ran something, they'd send me. And there was a few different websites that because of that also, like Yahoo's, like, style page. And also their main page, they had, like, two different articles on me, like the style page. And the main page was, like, a beauty article.

And they actually had an interviewer, like, call me and me and give me like a phone interview that they used and they ran for it oh cool i had a few of those nice that nice that it synced up with your album coming out right it was perfect it was amazing because it wasn't it wasn't planned that way in fact they originally meant to launch the fashion truth article in march and then it got pushed back because of timing issues and we did it in april instead so it came out two weeks before my album launched basically and so it gave me this huge bump for my album sales which was amazing now what what let's talk about outlets sure spiegel yeah yeah did you get into der spiegel yeah yeah were you in the international herald tribune i want to know the most distinct i don't

care about buzzfeed no uh the most distinct one that i think i got into was the daily mail in the uk and i think yahoo's front page was pretty big too that's like it's pretty good No. The most distinct one that I think I got into was the Daily Mail in the U.K. That would probably be the big one. And I think Yahoo's front page was pretty big, too. It was pretty good. The Daily Mail was like a famous – Sure. Yeah.

A lot of dads are checking their email, checking out some sweet articles. Yeah, yeah. The Daily Mail is like – that's like a famous tabloid rack. Yeah, yeah. And I was told by comedian Matt Kirshen, he's like, it's the weirdest thing in the world that you're in the daily mail because they're normally so like horrific and what they write about it was like but the website for some reason has a little bit more somehow the website is more legitimate than the actual print paper is somehow but it was so funny because like it's a sidebar and they have a side thing called like female and it's like stories that are like

relatable to women or whatever and that was the idea behind it and it's like pink of course and on the right side like it's the main page where the link to my article is it's so funny because it just says like mod cloth picks first they they kept misreporting it everybody was saying that i was hired as a transgender model for mod cloth which wasn't the case i was just a contest winner basically they named a dress after me so there's a dress that's on the collection that's actually my dress but and i have one but they in the daily mail thing says like mod cloth names first transgender model and then the only thing they put in the blurb there in the thumbnail was rye silverman is 32 years old which was also not true i'm 33 it was also a really weird thing to like but we put one fact and it is not relevant to the article and it's not true yeah

when uh when put this on first came out years ago uh i well there was an article about put this on in canada's national post which i guess is like a uh i was described to me as sort of like a combination of usa today and like uh these the mild conservatism of, say, the Wall Street Journal. And yeah, like there's this article and then just the article is perfectly fine. It was nice, you know, but the comment thread on this article was just like 200 slurs. And I'm like, don't they have like a guy that just, isn't there a robot inside their newspaper that just deletes things with faggot in them? Like, that seems like it would be a trivial. Like that was in the actual article itself?

No, no, on the comments on the article. It was just this long and super complex. Like what impressed me about it, frankly, was it wasn't like a basic, your basic YouTube queer, you know. Yeah, yeah. It was like really complicated, thoughtful, paragraph-long things about how they wouldn't be taking any style advice from this faggot. Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, that's the best.

Well, you know, Canadians are a lot more in-depth with their hatreds. That's a really good point. They're also known for their being very confrontational. Right, they are. Yeah, that's so funny that that kind of bile came from a Canadian outlet. Well, they probably weren't even Canadians is the thing. I know that with my articles, I would see with the Daily Mail things, when I would see the post, the only comment that I saw that was derogatory or mean

was written like the location stance at Chicago or whatever. I'm like, why are you on a British website? Just to sit around and be angry about things. Just checking out some notes up with David Beckham. Posh and Becks. God damn it. Daily. God damn Daily Mail.

No dick canoes again. Yet another day with no dick canoes.'s really funny i care about other stuff besides sure like italian beef i heard dick canoes first i was like what am i missing here and then i when he said it i'm like oh dick news i was like what did you say? We're going to have to get Kevin Allison on the line to explain to Rye what day it is. I'm sure it's folksy and pleasurable, whatever it is. Charming and warm. Yeah. Okay, look, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessico.

It's Jordan Jessico. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Mor Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morse, boy detective. Rye Silverman, Danny DeVito's fashion LO. I have, I got something up here on the Jumbotron here, Jordan. I'd love to hear about it. Well, Matthew Vo is filming a video series where people share an interesting five to 15 minute story of something that happened to them.

Sort of like a video version of Momentous Occasions, somewhat less pithy. Good point. I give points to Matthew Vo, by the way, for working pithiness into his copy here. Great. Old school fan for sure. There's no criteria other than an interesting story, like the time that Jordan got drunk and binged on a bunch of pancakes. That was a fun story.

It was a lot of fun. Or the time that he almost missed his mom's wedding. That was another fun story. I mean. Honestly, I probably would have put one Jordan story and one... Yeah, if you wanted to be polite. I guess I just got a lot of great stories

like the time I ate pancakes and almost missed my mom's wedding. Anyway, he says I can film anyone in the Boston area, or you can submit your own video if you live further away. So if you have a cool story to share with Matthew Vo, any kind of fun, cool story for his video series, email submitstoryrepository at gmail.com. That's submitstoryrepository

at gmail.com. If you want to advertise on Jordan, Jesse Go, email Teresa at maximumfun.org. If you want to get up on the Jumbotron and share your message with fellow Jordan, Jesse Go listeners, be it a personal or business message, all you have to do is go to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. It's very affordable. Sure. It's a fun thing to do for a birthday. And if you're listing examples, try to put one from each host. It's polite.

It's polite. Look, we all know that Jordan's the most beloved Jordan and Jesse Go host. That's why it's called Jordan and Jesse Go. Otherwise, it would be called Jesse Jordan. Sure. But there's a certain thing called – Or just Jesse and Company. Have's why it's called Jordan, Jesse Goh. Otherwise, it'd be called Jesse, Jordan Goh. Sure. But there's a certain thing called- Or just Jesse and Company. Have you thought about Jesse and Company?

It has a ring to it. I originally was going to call it Jesse and Associates. Sure, yeah. But maybe sounded more like a law firm than a podcast. Yeah. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Goh. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, boy at all oh yeah no this is gonna be the summer of summer boy i did i kind of wanted to save it for when we were more you know we were like a little deeper into summer but yeah right now i got some summer boy plans oh great oh yeah like the seinfeld summer of george this is gonna be the summer of the summer boy i'm leaning in i hope it works out better for you than did for george

yeah i think it will are we gonna go to like a mall kiosk and get a muscle shirt printed up for you? Oh, maybe. Maybe one where it looks like I'm a buff guy. Like there's a buff guy on it, but it's just a t-shirt. I thought it would say summer boy, but yeah, your idea is good too. Yeah.

I'm going to get a mouse pad that says summer boy at a mall kiosk. You're like, what? You don't think I'm a real summer boy? Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Take a look at this keychain. Oh, right.

For your information, I was in an Uber, and the Uber driver said that I looked like some sort of summer boy. Oh, okay. That was a few months ago. All right. And it's really stuck with me. It's a lot of fun to think about and gab about. Yeah. You know, one of the main things we like to do on this show, right? I don't know how much you know about what we like to do on this show.

It's been a few years, but we love to gab. Dish. Yeah, sure. Get in there. Yeah, sure. Just run our traps. From June to August, summer boy. September to December, war boy.

Okay. You just put on that eye black. Yeah. Take care of business. The war boys are all white. Oh. Yeah. Okay, well.

You're thinking of Imperator Furiosa. Oh, sorry. Real quick. Can I tell you that there's a baseball player, and God damn it, I can't remember who it was. I think it's maybe Brett Laurie on the Oakland A's. You know how baseball players wear eye black underneath their eyes to cut down on glare or something? But he has eye black that goes from the center of his nose. Imagine your thumbs pressing against the side of your nose.

It goes all the way out to the edges of his eyes and then comes all the way down to his jawline into his beard. Nice. That's raw, man. For a baseball player, baseball players don't do anything interesting. The closest to an interesting thing that any baseball player has ever done. Don't they all have crazy beards now? They do all have crazy beards, but that's not that interesting anymore. Sure.

I said a thick eye with a crazy beard. It isn't, honestly. But they got magic necklaces. Oh, okay. That's what baseball players have. Sure. But anyway, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah. It isn't. You know, honestly. But they got magic necklaces. Oh, okay. Baseball players have. Sure. But anyway. Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. No, no, no. I didn't mean to derail. That's okay. I'm totally picturing the Ultimate Warrior out on like a baseball bat.

Yeah, that's what it looks like. It looks like the Ultimate Warrior. That's exactly what it looks like. Yeah. Do you think he's doing it to increase his folk and districity? Hopefully. Ideally. Member of Warrior Nation.

Great name for Mad Max. Imperator Furiosa. ideally member of warrior nation uh great name for Mad Max Imperator Furiosa I'm like is this the best will this be this year's Cady Ager

this year's great movie name right apparently in the new Star Wars there's a character named Captain Phantasma oh man

oh boy it's gonna be it it's gonna be it it's a tight Oscars this year yeah for best name Captain Phantasma is famous for his signature eyewear and his platform shoes It's going to be a tight Oscars this year for best name.

Kevin Fantasma is famous for his signature eyewear and his platform shoes. Let me stop you right there, Jesse. It's a lady. Played by Game of Thrones' Brienne of Tarth. Oh, now I'm very excited. Which is another great name. Yeah. An embarrassment of riches. Brienne of Tarth is that huge woman?

Yes. Yeah. Here's, I will look. I'm not going to pretend that I didn't write this into Twitter some time ago, but quickest way to lose me in conversation, use the name of the character. As opposed to just a vague description of them. I'm literally, it's like probably my most, the show I most enjoy watching that's on television right now.

I've seen every episode. I would struggle to name one character. I have read all five books. I still have to spell check whenever I write anybody's name. When I write Daenerys Targaryen, I have to look up where the A's and the E's and the Y's go. Do you think if you misspelled it

someone on the internet would let you know? No, the internet's a really chill place where they let your mistakes go by. Especially about Game of Thrones and other stuff with extended universes. Yeah, yeah. And character encyclopedia wikis. Yeah, fans are really groovy about their products they like. Yeah, they're super chill.

You know what? If I could use one word to describe fandoms in general. Sure. It's like chill. Yeah. Whatever. Maybe fandoms should get their own tequila. Yeah.

Oh, sure. Fando Wando. That's for fans of Lando Calrissian. Lando's Fando Wando. Also one of the greatest names in... God, that is a good name! Lando. Lando Calrissian. By the way, Lando Fando is just rebranded Colt 45.

Man, those fucking Colt 45 commercials are so rad. They're the best. They are so rad. I love going to three clubs. They still have that one on the wall. Oh, yeah, sure. The tiger or whatever. That's like the main thing.

I don't remember that. I don't have that many intense childhood memories of commercials and stuff like that. But the things that stick out most in my mind are both from watching Soul Train, which I watched a lot of as a kid. One is The Train, which I couldn't figure out. I'm talking about when I'm like five. And you can't really figure out if it's real or not. out if it's real or not like what does this cartoon show have to do with these uh people in gold uh single piece jumpsuits dancing to jump by the pointer sisters right but like uh the other thing is is uh billy d williams in the colt 45 commercials and then what is his relationship to

the star wars guy just trying to figure that, sure. And also, what is the difference between Mr. T, the public figure, Mr. T, the cartoon character, and Mr. T, the professional wrestler? And the cereal. Yeah. And Mr. T, the character. Oh, I guess it's not Mr. T on the A-Team, but also his character on the A-Team. Oh, yeah. Braddock. Oh, yeah, sure.

And when he fought Rocky. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah. All of those Mr. T's. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah. All of those. Mr. T is so baffling. And I loved Mr. T, but I could not untangle the strings.

Well, I mean, it's, you know. Also, it's chains. They get so caught up in things, it's hard to really tangle. You were very perceptive as a kid because he just disappears into characters, you know? Right, that's true.

If I could use one word to describe Mr. T, chameleonic. Yeah, sure. Chameleonic. He was the Philip Seymour Hoffman of his day. By the way. Just transformed. By the way, Jordan, have you gotten a chameleonic recently?

I got one and I feel like there are no toxins left in my body. Jesse, my anus is happy because I had my chameleonic. Yeah. Okay. When something momentous happens to you. And now it's in a mumblecore movie. my anus is happy because I had my chameleonic yeah okay when something momentous happens to you and now it's in a mumblecore movie when something momentous

happens to you like for example an alternative health practitioner cleans out your toxins using a chameleon we ask that you call us at 206-984-4FUN

that's 206-984-4FUN and here's the thing to do do like Rye did put it into your flip phone before the smartphone. Yeah, it was a flip phone. Just take that into your flip phone. Quit playing Centipede and program that into your flip phone so that you can call us when something momentous happens. We've got a couple calls lined up.

Let's hear the first one. Hey, Jordan. Hey, Jesse. Hey, guest. It's Mike from New York. Calling with a moment of shame. I just had a guy pay for $500 worth of shoes with fake $100 bills. That's right.

I'm probably going to be fired, so if you guys want to donate to me, that would be awesome. Love the show. Bye. Wow. Wait, did he use that special pen? He's supposed to use that special pen? Have a manager verify it? Yeah. You forked retail.

A lot of steps you gotta go through. Sorry, I guess I... So he got counterfeited. Yeah, he got counterfeited. He got busted. Yeah, that's a rough one. I got quick changed one time. That was my big, like, I fell for a scam thing, where somebody comes in, and they give you, like, so they give you, like, a 10 or something.

You give them change. They go, oh, no, I gave you a 20. And, like, I can't remember how they do it, but they do it in a way so you give them back double the change they're supposed to get. And I totally fell for it. And, yeah, they, like, I think they had, I don't remember what the exact amount was. I can understand. It was before the smartphone era. Yeah, yeah.

I didn't have time to do math, you know. I went to Paul Newman's fake casino. Worst grift I've ever experienced. It was called that, too. It was weird. That was on the sign. It was Paul Newman's fake casino. I'm like, that looks like a real casino.

Steve Martin. He's a good actor. He's fake. He got me real good. I thought he was a genuine Spanish prisoner. Good grifts. Let's take our next call. Hi, this is Dylan calling from Petaluma with the Momentification. I just got back from camping, and we're about to make these great hamburgers.

We had all the stuff to make hamburgers, except we forgot to bring any ketchup or other fixin'. We were canoe camping, so we're pretty far from any kind of store. Pause the thing. That should have been it. Yeah. I am happy. I am happy if that's a yeah.

We brought all these killer burgers, but we forgot the fixin'. Momentous occasion. Right there. No condiments. We forgot the fixings. Momentification. Right there. We're camping. We got the burgers. And especially because he was so excited about the burgers.

Yeah, yeah. Killer burgers and he forgot the fixings. You know how that is. Oh, boy. Do I ever. You made a burger without a fixings. I have. It's been disappointing, yeah.

Got to get at least a slice on there, right, guys? Sl without a fixer. I have. It's been disappointing, yeah. Gotta get at least a slice on there, right guys? Slice. Come on. How about some grilled onions? Sure.

What do you like on a burger, Jordan? Yeah, I mean, grilled onions, that's a favorite. Yeah, make like a nice white cheese. You like a cheeseburger? I do like a cheeseburger.

What cheese do you choose? Yeah, something white, maybe like a jack cheese. A jack. Maybe not a provolone. Jack is pretty good. Yeah, a provolone would be a little too strong. Rye, how do you choose? Yeah, something white, maybe like a jack cheese. A jack is pretty good. Yeah, a provolone would be a little too strong.

It's a little much. Brian, how do you feel? I like an odd one. I like a fried egg on a burger when I'm feeling saucy. Sure. That's a good one. What about a scoop of chili? Scoop of chili?

No, I don't like chili. Chili would be okay, but I also feel like there's already beef. I don't need a second serving of beef on my sandwich of beef. So you don't like double cheeseburgers? No. I do, but yeah, you're right. You're right. You totally caught me in my sandwich of beef. So you don't like double cheeseburgers? No. I do, but yeah, it's like, you're right. You're right. You totally caught me in my logic. Yeah. Fuck you,

Ryan. Fuck you, busted. Get the fuck out of my studio. I look like a Tommy Burger. Hi, I'm Jesse Thorne, broadcaster, here with Jordan Morris, broadcaster, and Rye Silverman, fucking ass. Oh, no! What a total dick canoe we got on the show.

What a dick canoe. Henged a bunch of dick canoes. Okay, Brian, let's get back to this canoe camper. So we're out there on this lake, and we see another little houseboat kind of thing cruise in and set up shop a little ways away from us. And we were like, they probably have some ketchup. So I just happened to have a song in my repertoire called Party Barge that I like to sing on guitar.

And my friend and I decided to paddle over there and serenade them with the song Party Barge and see if they would, you know, trade us a song for some ketchup. And we did it. And not only did they give us plenty of ketchup, but they invited us on board for a little celebratory cocktail. So all in all, we won.

Had some great hamburgers with ketchup and a tasty beverage with some new fries. Oh boy. So anyway, thank you very much. This is insane. He's just kicking it in Petaluma. Sure. He's out on the lake in Petalina. Is he? California's dairy country. He needs some ketchup. Got some killer birds. He needs some chop. He needs them fixins. Now, I don't want to make...

Canoe camping, as though that's something. I don't want to make any promises that I can't keep, guys. I don't want to be a, you know, a word breaker. I guess I'm probably looking for a theme song for the Summer of the Summer Boy. Right. Could that be Party Barge? Can I ask you a question? Yeah.

You know, you and I, I have to record an episode of Jordan, Jesse, go on a boat in MacArthur Park Lake. That's true. Do you think we could incorporate Party Barge into that activity? I want to hear Party Barge first. Okay. I mean, I'm imagining what it's like. If it's what I'm imagining, it's amazing. But it could be.

We've already learned that it can summon both ketchup and a good coffee. So I don't know what else you're asking for in this song that, like, you don't think it's going to deliver with. That's true. I mean, if it can, yeah, if it can lead to both a solution to your condiment problem and a free cocktail from a boat owner. Can I tell you something? I got two songs sort of in my mind. Sure. As models for what ideally Party Barge would be.

One is You Will Remember Tonight by Andrew W.K. Of course, that ideally, yes. If it hit anywhere close to those heights, it would be a success. And I think the second one is probably going to be a little closer, which is, remember that song, speaking of 2007 Jordan Jesse Goh episode, remember that song High Five Club? It's the high five club. We're getting really naughty.

It's the high five club. What is that? It was a song. It was a song by some guys. It sounds great. I mean, yeah, I mean, that's kind of that what you were doing is kind of how I imagine Party Barge rather than a, you know, anthemic lighters in thein-the-air style arena rock song. I feel like

it's being able to be played on an acoustic guitar while also piloting a canoe. So I feel like there's got to be a little bit of chillness to it. I want to get to that in a second. I want to share this High Five Club anecdote. I don't remember right now what the guys who sang the song High Five Club were called. But I sent them an email because in the first year of Jordan and Jesse

Go, we did this high-fiving contest. I remember that. To see who could high-five the coolest person and who could high-five the most people. I don't remember what the most was. I do remember that someone sent us a picture of him high-fiving Yao Ming, which was pretty rock solid. Yeah, all time. The song High Five Club, I was like,

this is going to be the theme song to the video we make that's a slideshow of everyone's pictures. So I emailed the guys who did the song we make that's a slideshow of everyone's pictures so i emailed the guys who do the song high five club hey guys do you think you could send me uh like a high quality version of high five club so that i could put it in this video you know we have this podcast with this audience etc etc etc you know like if you're the guy who created the song high five club like how picky can you be about your placements? Oh, I think it's Maroon 5. Is that an early Maroon 5 song?

And I emailed these guys who made this song called High Five Club. I remember their response was just like, well, you could just buy it on iTunes. I'm like, really? You're milking me for that 99 cents? That's your goal? Guys who recorded High Five Club. Guys who recorded an entire song called High Five Club? We're going to put it in a high five video. That's a shame.

Okay, but I think, Rye, you've hit on a golden vein of insight here, which is that this is a song that has to be able to be sung on acoustic guitar by a guy in Petaluma in a canoe. Yeah. And that can lead to nothing but disappointment. I'm skeptical. I mean, maybe his friends on a canoe. Yeah. And that can lead to nothing but disappointment. I'm skeptical. I mean, maybe his friends on hand drums. Yeah. Almost certainly his friends on hand drums. He might just be paddling the –

Yeah, yeah, sure. Who's paddling the canoe while the song is breaking out? That's what I want to know because the canoe tips over very easily. Can I make a suggestion? That's a great point. Dog with a bandana? Ideally. Ideally, it's a dog with a bandana.

Yeah. So I love the title Party Barge. I love what it's done. I love that it has potential. I want to hear it. This guy would send us a high-quality version. I don't want to buy Party Barge on all two. You can go at MaximumFun.org. We'll consider it for the theme song to our boat show and possibly to the entire summer

of the summer boy. Yeah. And if we're not happy with it, I'm going to leave open the possibility that we're going to have a call for entries on the theme of Party Barge. Yeah. That's funny. You want to steal this guy's song from him and have someone record a better version. I like that.

Well, you just use his as a sort of demo. Like pirates raiding the party barge. Make it your own. But whenever you call in to Maximum Fun, it's always, you know, now I get intellectual property rights to whatever is called in. So I don't know if the people know that when they call in, they get that. I don't know if we could like. You guys actually take my life story now and actually write a book about it if you want. Yeah, we can.

I have a meeting with Brian Grazer tomorrow. Sure. It's about going to the pyramid in Columbus, Ohio. Yeah. Old Grazer. That would be fun. If I could suggest, I mean, I don't know if this guy can like, you know, what kind of musician he is and if he could like, you know, permeate into different genres. Ideally, this would be a Calypso song.

Really? Yeah. You think we should get Mighty Sparrow on the line?. Ideally, this would be a Calypso song. Really? Yeah. You think we should get Mighty Sparrow on the line? I mean, that would be nice. That would be nice. Okay, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jesse Go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, We just added some amazing new shirts and posters. So visit today and outfit your home and torso with the freshest MaxFun merch. MaxFunStore.com It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, boy detective. Rye Silverman, fashionista. Jordan's microphone is whirling like a dervish. Jordan's microphone is Whirling like a dervish Sure You tried to Jordan What I like is that

You tried to maintain Proper microphone spacing While the microphone Was spinning around Towards you You compensate So you You were spinning along with it

Listen I just don't want Any complaints about The audio quality Of this episode Rye Silverman Our guest on this week's program Brand new comedy stand up album Yep

Intimate Apparel. Yes, indeed. Rye, are you also on tweeters? Yeah, I'm just at Rye Silverman on Twitter. That's fun. Best way to find me. Yeah. Makes it easy.

Look, you want to go there? You want to talk Grey Goose? Anything top shelf. Yeah. At Rye Silverman. Anything Grey Goose. And apparently recently, whatever my thoughts are on the most recent Star Trek episode that I watched.

Great. I've been re-watching a lot of Next Generation, and so I've been tweeting about it a lot. TNG? Yeah, yeah. I mean, just real quick. I mean, I know we're kind of out of time, but what are your thoughts on the last Star Trek episode you watched? The most recent one I watched was actually the Times Arrow episode, and I thought that the guy who played Mark Twain was a little over the top, but it's still interesting.

Great review. Yeah, yeah. Great review. Yeah, yeah. Great review. A little much. A little much. From the Mark... It was not Val Kilmer, clearly. No, no.

Because his portrayal of Mark Twain, spot on. Do you guys think that the person who told his wife that he had just booked a role as Mark Twain on Star Trek The Next Generation, which part of that do you think he led with? It's a real different demographic. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to be playing Mark Twain on Star Trek The Next Generation. Or I'm going to be on Star Trek The Next Generation. That's Mark Twain.

I'm playing Mark Twain. The holodeck. Something happens with the holodeck. It's time travel. Oh, it's time travel? Yeah, it was the actual Mark Twain. Oh, wow. Okay. Oh, really? It's time travel. Oh, it's time travel? Yeah, it was the actual Mark Twain. Oh, wow. Okay.

Oh, really? Time travel. Yeah, yeah. It's not Picard's vision of what Mark Twain is probably like. It was Data's head had been found in the cave that had been there for 500 years. It fell back in time to where it was, and it was San Francisco. And yeah, Mark Twain is there, and apparently the bellhop is Jack London. There's all that kind of stuff in there.

Can I ask you a real quick question about Star Trek The Next Generation? Sure. I don't think I've seen it since it was in television syndication. Yeah, it's kind of what I'm doing right now. Watched a fair number of them as an eight-year-old. But I guess I'm wondering, Whoopi Goldberg, I think, was on that show. Yeah, featured prominently in the episode that I was just talking about. What was that about?

The story that I read about it, I read about it on Wikipedia as I was re-watching it, and apparently, like, she was just a really big fan of Star Trek, and she wanted to be involved in the show, and I guess they had, like,

written a smaller part for her to do, like, more of a cameo, and she wanted to do, like, a bigger part, and they were already kind of thinking about putting this bartender character

in the show anyway, so then when Whoopi Goldberg was like, oh, I want to be on the show, like, okay, we'll give you this bartender character, and like, okay, great. Yeah. on the show, like, okay, we'll give you this bartender character. I'm like, okay, great.

Yeah. It must be great to like, I guess, yeah, I always like that hearing that like a famous person is into something and then muscles their way into it. I think that's like a great use of fame. Hodgman muscled his way onto Battlestar Galactica. Yeah. No, I didn't know that. That guy wrote an entire New York Times Magazine feature article as part of a complicated scheme to muscle his way into Battlestar Galactica. It's really funny.

I wrote fucking 25,000 words or whatever for that. There you go. Keep your eye on the prize. Well, Rye, it's been a delight to have you on the program. Thanks for having me. Out there in the background, of course, is our producer, Sonny D. Brian Fernandez, back again. Like Tag Team in the song, Woomp There It Is.

You know what I'm talking about, right? Oh, yeah. Check it, direct it. Like tag team. In the song Wump There It Is. You know what I'm talking about, right? No, yeah. Check it, direct it. Let's begin. Actually, you know what? Check it, direct it. Let's end.

Poignant. Thank you. Thank you very much. Poignant. Hashtag JJ Go. Sure. I love to read the tweets about George Jesse Go.

Post on our Facebooks. the Maximum Fun Group. Always a fun discussion there. On Reddit, why not post an imager? Sure. You know, just show your nipples or whatever. So Sonic the Hedgehog listening to JJ Go. Yeah, exactly. And enjoying himself.

In a dick canoe. In a dick, yeah. We want to, yes. Bring it all together. Post a photo of Sonic in a dick canoe. Sonic on the cross listening to Jordan Jesse go. I love it. Playing guitar.

No, Sonic. Jesse, Sonic is not a Christ figure. Okay. He is a non-believer who is accepting Christ. Okay, what about this? Jesus is on the cross in a field. I like it so far. With ketchup.

In a field of thieves or whatever. Sure. And Sonic is doing a spin dash into the base of the cross. Oh, yeah. Let's get out of here, Jesus. And Jesus, I guess, is probably wearing a Jordan Jesse Go t-shirt. I love it. Of course.

That's fun, right? Somebody will make that. Fun and blasphemous. Maximumfun.reddit.com is where you can find the subreddit for posting your imagers that combine the religion of probably most people listening to this right now

and video game and our dumb podcast let's get out of here Jesus it's me Sonic and they jump into that big ring at the end and go into a bonus level Jesus, it's me, Sonic. And they jump into that big ring at the end and go into a bonus level. One of those 3D levels. Oh, yeah.

Going down the tube. Yeah, yeah. Going down the hat pipe. It's super fast. How's this song from Sonic the Hedgehog 2 go? How does Sonic the Hedgehog song go? Are there other good Sonic the Hedgehog things besides Sonic the Hedgehog 2 go? How does Sonic the Hedgehog song go? Are there other good Sonic the Hedgehog things besides Sonic the Hedgehog 2? I think there was three, which is cool, because there was three,

and then there was Sonic and Knuckles, and you could open up Sonic and Knuckles and plug three into it, and then you could play three again as Knuckles instead of as Sonic or Tails. That was cool. That's cool. Could I plug Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle in there? Nothing's stopping you. I say do it. Holy shit.

Yeah, this is a little funky. Can the audience hear this? Yeah, the audience can hear it. Oh, cool. It's like kind of Tower of Power style. Yeah. Can we get Boss Gags on vocals? Ideally.

This sounds like the Tails music, I think. I think this is like a... Maybe I'm wrong. I haven't played Sonic in a long time. I think it's like when Tails has the power-ups and he can run and he has the stars over him. That's my theory. Please write to atrysilverpig. Comments, corrections, and clarifications.

How wrong I am about that song. Ry, it's been a joy. Thank you for joining us. We'll talk to you guys next time on Jordan, Jesse, and clarifications. How wrong I am about that song. Right. It's been a joy. Thank you for joining us. We'll talk to you guys next time on Jordan, Jesse, Gov. Bye.