Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 379: We Are the Boat Factory with Steve Agee

Episode Date: June 1, 2015

Comedian and actor Steve Agee joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of Jesse's weekend downtown, an email from China about boats, and Jordan's visit to classic Hollywood restaurant Spago.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, down to clown. Wow! What's this about? I just want people to know that if they're out there clowning and think that, hey, this this could use another guy your boy got jokes give me a call okay no i don't know if it's joke related it's just like hanging out oh so i will make jokes if we're hanging out just like have some fun you got jokes i do but that's not i don't

want that to be the only reason you invite me to clown why invite you to clown specifically because i heard your boy got jokes. Yeah, he does. But I also have like a lot of like fun opinions and like listening skills too. I mean, to be fair. Like I'm a good listener. I also. Jesse, I'm a great listener.

Jesse, hold on. I want everyone to know that I'm a great listener. I heard that you stay clowning. Yeah. That you steady clowning. Sure. I mean, that's my kind of mean stage. But then I also heard that your boy got jokes.

Yes, again, but I don't want that to be like the only reason you call me when you're clowning. I can listen to other people clown. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. I mean, here's what I think. I can read the room. Right. I think I'm very good at reading the room.

Sure. If, you know, people invite me out, everyone's clowning, I can let someone else be the focus and, like, support them. Like if you got invited out by Mark Curry. For instance. And Mark Curry was. Yeah. If I was hanging with Mr. Cooper. And Mark Curry was clowning.

Like, let's say he's really on a rip-roaring. Oh, yeah. I'm not about to steal focus from Mark Curry. He's doing some of his really epic stuff. Sure. About showing up at Warriors games a lot. And then you would support him. Yeah.

Or John Leguizamo. Let's say you were out with John Leguizamo. Oh, sorry. I'll stop you there. I'm not going to clown with John Leguizamo. You're not clowning with John Leguizamo. Oh, sorry. I'll stop you there. I'm not going to clown with John Leguizamo. You're not clowning with John Leguizamo? Nah, man. Did you see that Spawn movie?

It was terrible. I'm holding a grudge because of the Spawn movie. Did John Leguizamo play Spawn? He played a clown in the Spawn movie. Oh. So, you know. Was he a Super Mario Brothers? He was.

He was Luigi. Yeah. Bob Hoskins was Mario. I'll tell you what. Fun fact, Bob Hoskins shot for a few weeks on the movie and didn't know it was based on a video game. No. He just thought it was a crazy movie. Off microphone, our guest, who insisted he wants to lean into the microphone the entire time.

Great friend of Jordan Jesse Goh. True. Popular stand-up comedian and actor. A man who's wearing a contemporary version of a Sally Jesse Raphael eyeglass. A blue.

In a pale blue. Blue-ish. Certainly. Not a bright red, as Sally Jesse herself would wear. Powder blue. A handsome pair of eyeglasses. Thank you. It really suits him, I think. Steve Agee. Hello. When you first said Mark Curry, A handsome pair of eyeglasses. Thank you. It really suits him, I think. Steve Agee. Hello. Okay, Steve. When you first said Mark Curry, for some reason I was picturing the VJ from MTV. Was his name Adam Curry?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. The podfather. Mm-hmm. The man who invented podcasting. No, is that true? Well, he sort of. Arguably.

He arguably invented podcasting. Really? I didn't know Well, he sort of. He arguably invented podcasting. Really? I didn't know that. I was picturing a nice chicken curry. He was right. Sure. And I just couldn't picture Jordan clowning with Mark Curry or Adam Curry. I could see him on the Daily Source Code, his podcast from 2004, out of his home in

Copenhagen or something like that. Really? I know nothing about him. Amsterdam, maybe? Yeah, because his hair's short now. Oh, that's too bad. I don't know who this guy,

I mean, I know that as a VJ name. He's a blonde rocker with long blonde hair. Yeah, and he was like the original Headbangers Ball guy

or something like that. Maybe. One of those things. He's one of the original VJs with Martha Quinn and J.J. Jackson. From the Matt Pinfield era? Or is that too late?

Pre-Pinfield. Pre-Pinfield. Wow. That's our era. Sure. We're talking about AG's era. Okay. AG, what are you, 62?

46. Not far off. Yep. Well, according to that app that tells you how old you look, yeah, I am 62. I think actually- I did that and just got a picture of a goldfish. I think if you wear glasses in that app, because that was really popular for like four days, if you wear glasses, it automatically ages you like 30 years. Yeah.

So there's that. I'm sorry that you feel, I'm sorry that it seems to have really struck a chord with you. I got one that was like 92 years old. I'm sorry that you feel, I'm sorry that it seems to have really struck a chord with you. I got one that was like 92 years old. I'm sorry that Chinese virus app was mean to you. What was that one? That was the same time. There was the. Oh, there was also, this was, yeah, boy, I feel like, I feel like apps have little weekends now.

Where like everybody's doing the app for the weekend and then nobody gives a fuck on Monday. So yeah, there was was how old am I? And then there was my idol. My idol. Which turned you into a. Jordan told me to put that on my phone. The goddamn thing's in Chinese. We're sitting in an airport.

Jordan's like, you got to download this cartoon version of yourself app. I downloaded it. It's in a language I neither. It's not even in a language. Jesus Christ, how xenophobic can you get, Jesse? Sorry you don't want to experience other cultures and the viruses they're injecting into your phone. I neither. It's not even in a language. Jesus Christ, how xenophobic can you get, Jesse? It's not even in a language. Sorry you don't want to experience other cultures and the viruses they're injecting into your phone. It's not even a language the characters of which I recognize.

That's the main issue. I remember everyone. It's Korean. I don't speak French, but I could puzzle it out. I could pick up a few cognates. Yeah. There's letters in French. There's not symbols.

There's not just pictures of words. No. Okay. Speaking of China, we got an email from China. The country? China at China.com from Don't Show Pay. Someone representing

me at China.com. Hey, guys. RedDragon69 at China.com. AOL. Okay, here is the email we got. Now, Steve, I know you listen to the podcast from time to time. But just to refresh your memory, we had a very successful pledge drive a couple months ago. successful pledge drive a couple months ago, and we have agreed to purchase a boat on Craigslist,

row out to the middle of MacArthur Park Lake, and do a special donors podcast from the middle of MacArthur Park Lake. Can you launch your own boat in MacArthur Lake? We're not sure. We're not going to launch ours. I think the premise is that no one will stop us. Yeah. It's sort of a don't ask, don't tell. Like a wooden boat or like a blow-up boat?

We haven't gotten that far. I mean, for one thing... We're just going to tie a bunch of real dolls together. It turns out... See what happens. That wooden boats are shockingly expensive. Even busted-ass ones. I figured we could get a busted-ass one that was good for

one trip. Like a canoe. Yeah, like a broke-ass canoe. Yeah, like a broke ass canoe. I thought $250 would buy us the kind of boat that would otherwise be used to maybe make a coffee table. You know what I think? I bet, boy, I bet canoe prices have skyrocketed. I bet fucking tech

guys are buying old canoes, putting them in their offices. I think Nick Offerman made canoes relevant and expensive again. Yeah, with his digital versatile disc about how to make your own canoe. Yeah. Stripped woods. I bet if you went to –

We were two years too late to get a cheap canoe. I bet if you went to Salton Sea because every time I've been out there, there's just discarded boats like out in the middle of – Where's that? It's past Palm Springs and you go out past like Coachella and then south towards Mexico. Sure. There's this giant. Would this count as the high desert?

No, this is still low desert. There's this giant lake that I think in the 20s. But you were high, right? I've been high every time I've gone there. But in like the 20s or 30s, maybe 40s, they tried to make this a destination. They made this lake because they wanted to compete with palm springs sure and uh they built all these hotels and resorts not realizing that when it would rain all the runoff from like the cattle ranches and stuff up on the hill would just run all the

fucking poop water down into this lake and it is unl unlivable now. If you go there, it's the worst smelling lake you've ever been to. There's not sand. It's bones. Fish bones. I read a New Yorker article about this. And I don't remember if this was the exact phrase they used or whether it's just something I created to sort of conjure the images that were coming up in my head. But poison country?

Yeah. Yeah. Why? The only fish that lives in there are tilapia. And the shores are just bones, like chipped bones of tilapia. It's crazy. It looks beautiful. It looks like Heathcliff's been there.

It looks beautiful in a post-apocalyptic kind of way. But there's all these rundown hotels. And there's just, there's like bars that are the kind of bars, like that bar that Pee Wee does the tequila dance in. Yes. He was a big head dancer. Like, just with like, like in the New Yorker article that I read, there was a big, like they interviewed this local barkeep. And on weekends he played, she was the lead singer in a rockabilly band, and on weekends he played. She was the lead singer in a rockabilly band, but she's like 70.

Yeah. She's been singing. She's never stopped singing rockabilly music since 1959. Steve, why did you go there? Or why do you go there? I don't know if it's a regular thing. Well, I have just a fondness for the desert. I've been going out there. I grew up out here in southern california i used

to go rock climbing joshua tree a lot and i just loved the desert so i went to the salton sea once and was like horrified but also you know i take photographs so i was like this is it's a great place to take photos sounds cinematic um but yeah so i I mean, that's why I went out there was just to check it out. And I've only been like two or three times. So you think if we were looking for a boat. I think you could definitely find a boat just on the side of the road there. Throw a man's bones out of it. Would the boat give us asthma?

That's my concern. You probably. Yeah. He probably. Yeah. Okay. So we've agreed to buy a boat on Craigslist and launch it into the water. As to whether it's legal, unclear.

There is a boat launch. So probably you can do it. And one time I saw a guy flying one of those water jet packs like in Eastbound and Down. No way. But I think that Eastbound and Down. No way. But I think that was for a commercial shoot. For sure. Yeah. There are fish in there. There's a lot of fish and turtles in there.

Yeah, I remember one podcast you talking about actually seeing them dumping fish in the – Yeah, they shoot fish in there. So it's so horrible. You're going to launch a boat and do what with it? Sink it? No, we're going to launch a boat and do what with it? Sink it? No, we're going to use it as a platform like a pirate radio station. No laws apply once you're 20 feet from shore, I believe is the rule. Yeah, I've heard that.

We're going to set up a casino. I thought it was three miles, by the way. We're probably looking at different charts, Steve. I'm looking at a star chart that has my name on it that my mommy bought me a star you're looking at an Andy Dick guide to sailing

you can do whatever you want 20 feet off the shore Andy Dick's guide to where to get fucked up is that Andy Dick's excuse he's been 20 feet offshore all these years. Yeah. You know, I haven't, I, in my time, you know, hanging around comedy stuff in LA, I have not seen nor been molested by Andy Dick.

Wow. That's sort of lonely. Yeah, it is. It's a lonely life to have never been molested by Andy Dick. I feel ugly. Yeah. I feel undesirable. Well, you're still young. You slept

hard. That's true. Steve, were you at Max FunCon of the Year, and we're going to get back to this email I got from China in a second, but were you at Max FunCon of the Year that the Upright Citizens Brigade guys were there doing ASCAT? And you know, they often like to ask a question at the top

of the show. Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about. And their polling question was, which will be more, the number of people who've been... Who've ridden an elephant. Yeah. Or been... Sexually assaulted.

Is it sexually assaulted or just... Annie Dick has made advances. It runs the gamut. Annie has made advances at you. Sure. Yeah. But like... Been, yeah, sexually put upon in some way.

Groped, touched, like in an inappropriate way. I wasn't at that MaxFunCon, but I've done monologues at ASCAP and witnessed. Yeah. And Andy Dick won. There was three people who had been touched by Andy Dick out of the 250 people at MaxFunCon, none of whom even lived in Los Angeles. Oh, my God. That's crazy.

And it was like one was south by southwest. One was just walking down the street in Boston or something. And he came and touched their butt or something. One was at the Salton Sea. And two people. He just emerged from a pile of fish bones. I'm also shocked at the number of people who've ridden elephants. Yeah.

When I was there, it was like, Steve, how many people here do you think have ridden elephants? I'm like, 250 people? Maybe one. Right. And they're like, raise your hand. And it was like 10 people. I think you could do it at various like zoos. Yeah.

Certain zoos. Circuses. Vacations. Zoos with low standards for the animals. Sure, yeah. Cruel zoos. Cruel zoos. Yeah. Cruel zoos.

Like basically your blackfish type situation. Yeah. Blackaderms. Those elephants of blackaderms. Guys, blackaderms. Next year on ABC. Battle of the network. ABC thinks that's what made Black-ish a success.

Yeah. Having the word black in the title. Okay. Was it a success? Yeah. It was. Reasonable success. I think one of the few hit comedies of this season, which does not have many.

I haven't seen it, but by all accounts, a very good show, too. Good. I really enjoyed it. I watched a bunch of Fresh Off the Boat, its companion program. Yeah. When Randall Park and Nanchatka Khan were on the show, the creator of the show. Randall's a good friend of mine.

And it was a funny show. It's a good guy, yeah. Really funny show. He and Constance Wu are both hilarious on that show. They're really great. Randall and I did a horror movie that comes out this Tuesday, by the way. Oh.

Congratulations. Yeah. Congratulations. Yeah. Do you want to tell us a little bit about it? Well, it's called... It's called Salton Sea Vacation. Amigo Undead. Uh-huh. Randall and I play brothers.

I love it already. I don't know what I'm allowed to say about it. Randall Park is a Korean-American gentleman. Yeah. He played Kim Jong-un. And Steve Agee is a European-American gentleman. So it's unlikely that they'd be brothers. Yeah, he's my adopted brother in the movie.

I mean, don't spoil anything that'll get people mad at you. But I think it'll be out on demand in iTunes and everything this Tuesday, the 2nd. You're going to tell us what's the premise? Well, the premise is it's my birthday and we go camping. By the way, do you like that I just got angry at you for insufficiently plugging? Hey, dick. More plugs. More plugs.

The premise is we're camping out in the desert and I have a Mexican worker who's always with me because I have this property and he's building stuff for me. And he accidentally chokes to death. And while we're trying to move his body, one of my friends who has a gun falls out of his holster. And the gun shoots his already dead body. But we panic thinking we can't take him to a hospital. I think we shot him. And so we bury him out in the hills.

And he keeps coming back. That's hilarious. It's a horror comedy. It's really funny. Okay. Here's the letter I got from China. Let's hear what China has to say. Now, when I say I, in California, they have what's called community property laws.

That means that when you're married, all of your possessions also belong to your spouse and vice versa. So while this technically was sent to my wife's email address, I like to think that I received it. Okay. Sure. It's from sales from my friends at Dragon Marine. And the subject is inflatable boat.

Ooh. I think our question's being answered. Yeah, I like where this is going. And here's the thing. They know my wife's name, so either someone was doing some research, there's someone in China listening to podcasts to see if anyone mentions needing to buy a boat,

then looking up their spouse's name... It's like, well. In a New York Times wedding announcement from 2009. And then. Old Jimmy Yen in Beijing with his fucking inflatable boat. Just scouring the internet. This is the most efficient way to do this. Dear Teresa Thorne, I wonder if you still need boat and outboard.

We're the boat factory. The products, colon. There's no periods there. That's just one fucking thing. They're just laying it on you. I wonder if you still need boat and outboard, comma. We are the boat factory, comma, which is also a great Devo album. We are the boat factory.

That's your new t-shirt. Every time I come on here, last time it was full short. We got to get a t-shirt out of the deal. This time it's the Boat Factory. We are the Boat Factory. We are the Boat Factory. By the way, we have a new t-shirt right now. It's the Summer Boy t-shirt. Summer Boy t-shirts, very limited edition, on sale right now in the Max Fun Store, but

will be done in one week. Oh, man. One week from the release of this podcast. They will be gone forever and selling like hotcakes right now. Did you see all the summer boy tweets? No, I haven't seen the summer boy tweets. A lot of fun summer boy tweets. One question that came up is, can women wear summer boy tees?

The answer is yes, and there are women's shirts available. Great. Are they fitted shirts or are they – They're like a lady style, you know, like a short cap sleeve and a – you know what I'm talking about. I do. Okay. We are the boat – I think it should be we are boat factory. But it says –

To just have throngs of like – well, this doesn't really make sense. But I guess you could have like a throng of boats like with their fists raised like they're the like honorable proletariat. Like gung ho. Yeah. If somebody's got a really good design for a we are the boat factory t-shirt, I mean, I'm not going to turn it away. It should look like Chinese propaganda. Yeah, sure. Like that style of, yeah.

Like one boat in its fist is holding like a stalk of wheat. And it's got one of those. And one is holding like a hammer. One of those big Mao mustaches. Yeah. These boats have hands, too, by the way. We're just putting it out there. Yeah.

I have no idea what a Mao mustache is. You're not thinking of Lenin? No, no. Did Mao have a famous mustache? Are you thinking of Stalin? No. I think some of our propaganda had— So you're saying that whatever design comes in, it should be racist?

Well, absolutely. It should incorporate— We're America, dude. It should definitely be racist? Well, absolutely. It should incorporate. We're America, dude. It should definitely be racist. Do not design a racist. You can design it based on historical, you know, Communist Party propaganda, but don't design. It should look just like what's-his-name-from-breakfast-at-Tiffany's. Mickey Rooney. Mickey Rooney.

Yes. Also, the boats, don't make the boats cartoonish. They should be realistic. We are Boat Factory. Please no long duck dong themed t-shirts. Not acceptable. Where is my automobile? No.

We are Boat Factory. Also, the shirt should, if you press a button, make a gong noise. Okay. If you press a button. Like on the shirt, like a shirt button. I wonder if you still need boat and outboard, comma. We are the boat factory, comma.

The products, colon. Boats. Inflatable boat, rib boat, aluminum rib boat, sailboat, surfboard, kayak. New models of foldable boat. Wow. That is bolded and italicized.

Then in parentheses, do you need updated list? Yep. Yeah, my list is way out of date. Yeah, it stops at foldable boat. My foldable boat list just has like, it's got folded in quarters boat. It's got box fold boat. I don't trust a foldable boat. Outboard motors, four-stroke, two-stroke, short shaft, long shaft.

I'm going to need a long shaft, huh, guys? Going to need a longer shaft. Manual starter, electric starter. Please inform if you need boat, outboard, photo, and price. Have a nice day, Cynthia. Did you ask for a price and photo? I really want to see a foldable boat. Yeah, we really should.

And I would like to know the price. Yeah. Were you thinking of an outboard? Do they have motored boats out on that lake? I figured we would probably. I don't think I've ever seen any boat out on that lake. Buy an oar. Yeah.

And just paddle our way out there. Or even two oars. Like a condor. Yeah, we could pole it out. Yeah. I bet it our way out there. Or even two oars. Like a gondola. Yeah, we could pole it out. Yeah. I bet it's not that deep. Just like I used to do on the River Thames. You did, huh?

Yeah, I was a... A gondolier? Eel fisherman. How was business on the Thames? The Thames business was spectacular. Wow. And then the 20th century came. And I really struggled after that.

Yeah, I can imagine. You know how that is, Steve. I do, yeah. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la I'm Biz. And I'm Teresa. And we host One Bad Mother, a comedy podcast about parenting. We say all the horrible things about having kids so you don't have to. And you can come across as the magical vessel Pinterest's perfect parent society wants you to be. One Bad Mother.

Because this is hard and nobody gives a shit. Check us out on iTunes and MaximumFun.org. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, out of five. I'm the other guy. The other four recommend Crest. Yep. One out of five, oddly, recommends comedian Steve Gagey. Sure, brush with Steve. I don't give a shit. Rub him on your teeth. I'm gonna die soon. Can I, we mentioned the

genre of music rockabilly earlier. Yeah, sure. I got a haircut today from a man whose aesthetic I would call rockabilly, or maybe psychobilly. Psychobilly, yeah. I don't know if you guys have noticed, I have an abnormally long spit curl. You do?

Yeah, it's like a pompadour. He left me with a real Johnny Depp from Crybaby. A little extra tuft. I can see you with it, Jerry Lee Lewis. You should grease it up a little bit. Maybe I will grease it up a little, get a little pomade or something. What was the name of your barber? Was it the Reverend Horton Heat? It was Jesus.

Oh, okay. Jesus. Yeah. Reverend Horton Heat. I mean, you got to figure the Reverend Horton Heat, that's what he's up to these days. That's true. It's a person, by the way. Slim Jim Phantom from the Stray Cats.

Man, I've seen Reverend Horton Heat. He can still pack them out. Really? Yeah. And the guy who's playing the bass will set the bass on fire while he's playing it. Oh, that's fun. The Rev puts on a great show. Is the Reverend Horton Heat a person?

It is, yeah. It's a guy. Oh, okay. I thought it was just the name of a band. I think he calls himself, like, the Rev. Oh. It's two other guys. I bet that's fun, right?

That's a blast. So there's only three guys? It's three guys, yeah. Yeah, they're good. I like them. What are we talking about? Two guitars and a drummer? The rep plays guitar, yeah, drummer, and then there's a big upright bass, which gets set

on fire at a certain point. Got it. That's fun. Real fun. What's the monitor for, by the way? Sometimes we'll have a little brass section come out. We have a monitor here in the studio now. It's because we record international waters in this studio, and that way we can show people the Skypes of the people in another country.

Also, our friend Guy Branum hosts Pop Rocket from New York these days because he's working on Billy on the Street. Oh, nice. And so the other Pop Rocket panelists gather around the monitor like it was FDR and it was a fireside chat. I was trying to come up with the initials FDR because I wanted to say JFK. Who did Whistle Stop Tours? Hoover. Might have been Hoover. That makes sense.

God damn it, Colin. Get on this. You're just sitting there scratching your shoulder like an asshole. You should be typing Whistle Stop Tours into that computer right in front of you. A lot of presidents did. A lot of them. Who was the first? Who was the king of the whistle stop?

I'm going to say Taft. Taft. I'm going to say Taft. And the only reason I'm going to say that. William Randolph Taft. The only reason I'm saying Taft is because Colin just told us it was Taft. Yeah. I could see Taft getting around there.

He was a large man. Sure. Probably had a hard time. Less walking because that train takes you everywhere. I don't know why I would have said Hoover. He was much later in the country's development. He was focusing on dams. He could have taken a plane.

Yeah. All right. Is this anything? The Hoover Dental Dam? Let's think. Is that anything? The Hoover Dental Dam. Let's think. Is that anything? I love any sentence that starts off, is this something? Is this something?

You hear that a lot from comedians. Is this something? Is this a thing? Yeah, I mean, you know, I mean, I guess you could do some sort of like sketch or something on like the lesser, you know, the lesser innovations from the New Deal. Right. It's like, oh, well, you know, we all know about, you know, the roads and the bridges and the, you know, beautiful black and white photography of Hoovervilles. But, you know, did you know he also branched out into, you know, prophylactic. So the idea here is that maybe. And I know it doesn't prevent pregnancy. You get what I'm saying. Did you know he also branched out into prophylactic type things? So the idea here is that maybe-

And I know it doesn't prevent pregnancy. You get what I'm saying, fucking asshole. Maybe Hoover thought he could save the economy with dental dams. Sure. Put people to work. That's why he got- You get some migrant farmers out there picking peaches for five cents a box and you say, hey, come down to the latex factory.

A lot of people. Help some ladies. A lot of people think that Roosevelt created the Works Progress Administration, but actually the WPA was created by Hoover to make dental dams. Sure. It's true. And later transitioned into building public infrastructure projects when Roosevelt was later elected.

I think, and, you know, probably Munchenbach back then was a lot more unsanitary because of the dust bowl. It was below the dust, up the ladies' skirts. Yeah. And then, you know. There was more than one dust bowl at the time, if you know what I'm talking about. Hey. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. It's called my mother-in-law. It's a real dust bowl. Your other t-shirts could be the Hoover Dental Dams could be another one of your t-shirts. Man, so many great t-shirt ideas coming out of this episode. And the dust bowl boxes. I like we are the boat company. We are the boat factory.

We are the boat factory. We should have people chant it. We're all the boat factory. We are the boat factory. God, I can really- We should have people chant it at some point. We're all the boat factory, if you think about it. Yeah, I bet I could get everybody to chant that at Max Fun Con. Sure. You can get anybody to chant any goddamn thing. Yeah.

Everybody's so on the same page. Oh, people love chanting. So willing to chant. It's really fucking addicting. Just the other day, I was with some friends on an island. And we were chanting, kill the pig, slit her throat, spill her blood. What albums did you bring to the island? Sucks to your ass, Mark.

From that great 70s hardcore band. We're having fun on Jordan and Jesse. How are things going with you, pal? Oh, good. I mean, I'm just kind of, you know, working on this spit curl. Sure. Thinking about what to do with it. A real Christopher Reeve situation going on.

Yeah. I mean, this is a recent haircut, so I mean, you know, I got to give it a couple days, a couple washes to see how it's really going to look. I think it looks a little silly right now, though. It does. Yeah. But I like it. I don't think so. I think it's fun really going to look. I think it looks a little silly right now, though. It does. Yeah. But I like it. I don't think so.

I think it's fun. It's cool. I think it's fun. Thanks, guys. Yeah. Have you ever cut your hair really short on the sides and left it a little long on the top and had a real greaser hairdo? No, uh-uh.

That would be fun. I've never had any kind of purposeful hairdo. I just go in and say, take an inch off all around. Do something. Yeah. And I think, you know, I think Jesus Why don't you just get a Flobie? I could get a Flobie. I wonder if they're, yeah. Are those still around, do you think? Yeah. You can probably find them.

That'd be something I'd have to eBay, probably. Yeah. Or Craigslist. Craigslist? Sure. Although it's probably something different on Craigslist, asking for a Flobie. M4FB. Man for Flobie. You're going to get a letter from China about Flobies. Oh, yeah. We are Flobie.

We are the Flobie factory. Oh, my gosh. I had a great little adventure this weekend. You know, it was my birthday about a month ago. You probably don't know that, Steve. You don, it was my birthday about a month ago. You probably don't know that, Steve.

You don't really keep track of your friends like that. Not unless we're friends on Facebook would I have known that. And my wife arranged for our babysitter to come and stay with our kids for 24 hours. And we went and got a hotel room, a fancy hotel room downtown, and went on an architectural walking tour. Oh, nice. This is the kind of thing I do when I'm free of those goddamn kids. Yeah, really cut loose.

Did you go to the Bradbury building? I did go to the Bradbury building. It was fucking great. I'd never been before. It's really cool. The Bradbury building is a building in downtown Los Angeles that people might remember from Blade Runner, especially. It's the most famous thing, although it's been in a number of things.

I think somebody said maybe it was in 99 Days of Summer. 500 Days of Summer. I wouldn't know that, but maybe. A lot of things are in 500 Days of Summer. Yeah, that's definitely like whatever neighborhood you're in in L.A., when you see a cool building, it was probably in 500 Days of Summer. Yeah. They really went through the list, crossing them out with a big marker. A building a day. Yeah. They really went through the list crossing them out with a big marker.

Sure. But yeah, I was going to, let's see, I went on this walking tour. Nice lady named Eve, I want to say

was her name, or Etta, who knows? Just something. She had a real old lady name. She was very spunky. Sure.

We were talking about- A woman who would be giving a walking architecture tour. Right. She was very spunky. Sure. We were talking about- A woman who would be giving a walking architecture tour. Right. And she was talking about leading school groups and how she doesn't know anything about children. So she doesn't know what they're going to like and not like. Sconces.

And she's like- Crown molding. Buttresses. Ah, babies. molding buttresses babies and she says and she says to me you know she goes i mean they don't a lot of those kids they don't even want to be there you know they sure maybe a couple of them do but most of them don't and i'm like yeah but i mean it's better than school exactly they're getting a day off of school like everyone there is stoked not to be at school no matter what because she's telling me how polite they

usually are i'm like yeah because they're fucking over the moon that they're not at school which is the worst school is horrible and i didn't say that no but i did say i mean come on nobody actually likes school and she was real quiet cares about what you do lady she was real quiet she was real quiet. Nobody cares about what you do, lady. She was real quiet. Getting out of school. She was real quiet for a second. And she goes, well, I mean, I'm one of those folks who liked school. And I'm like, oh, that's why you're leading walking tours now, ma'am. Good for you. You found your joy. I think if you grow up to be like a smart bookish person, you retcon your memories of school.

Really? To like it. Yeah. I mean, I don't doubt that someone like enjoyed the story of island of the blue dolphin or something right like you know i mean clearly i liked reading lord of the flies enough to constantly say sucks to your asthma sure there you go yeah i don't know i think i think uh yeah i think i think when you grow up and you get some distance from it like if you've made your life about, you know, being a smarty pants.

Jordan, you're saying this to someone who literally has his own NPR show. Yeah. I remember that school sucked balls. Not you because you're so enlightened and self-aware, but I think others would. Really? Yeah, I think so. Any excuse to get out of school. Yeah.

That's where it's at. I liked reading books, but not the ones they told me to read. They tell you what books to read. Kids would love jury duty. Yeah. Yeah, I know. Can't go to school, got jury duty.

We gotta get kids on juries. I remember. Why aren't there any kids on juries? I definitely remember like... Wait, will it be an adult or a children's trial? You have to try other children. It's a kid's court, if you will. Yeah.

Can we get Andy Kindler in there? I definitely remember like a time in school where I was like, yeah, I'm like book guy. I'm a guy who reads books and like reading like of mice and men in like the back of the bus and like like man why don't they assign us great books like this like no that's just fucking something they would assign you in school so i think like when you're a kid and you do that additional reading like you're like why am i the only one who hasn't figured out am i the only one who knows about kurt vonnegut like no you're not like that's something you will be assigned later and besides your dad told you about that yeah sure so at least one other person knows about that.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. But she was such a nice lady. We had a great time. Went to the Bradbury building. Yeah, I don't mean to slag off that kind of lady. As far as kinds of old ladies, that's like tops. Yeah, she was really cool.

She was a spunky 65-year-old lady. What else did you see? Did you go to any theaters? There was a lot of old theaters. There was no theaters on this particular tour. Went into some beautiful Art Deco buildings. Got to see some gorgeous Deco interiors. I brought my camera along with me, as you do when you get away from the kids.

Get a chance to do some photography on walking tours. Hells yeah. You know what the fuck I do. Steve, you know what the fuck I do. Shit, yeah. You clown. You straight clown on these tours. I stay clowning. Yeah. Shit, yeah, you clown. You straight clown on these tours. I stay clowning.

Yeah. Jordan, I stay fucking clowning. Dude was in stitches. Yeah. How many other, was this a private walking tour or did you have other, did you have? So here's what happened. It's, they figure there's, they didn't get the list. Normally there's a list.

So they didn't get the list. So they're just taking names at the door. They send away maybe a group of maybe 15 or 16 people for the first set. That many people. Wow. Hey, these LA Conservancy tours are very popular. I recommend them very highly. Did you go on Angel's Flight? No, because it's not running, but that was on the tour.

Okay. Okay. Sorry. Do you want me to give you the whole itinerary? Yes. No, no. I just think there's a lot of cool buildings and stuff downtown. Downtown Los Angeles is cool as shit.

Yeah. Downtown Los Angeles is fucking cool as shit. There's also a series of tunnels down underground that a lot of people don't know about. For like gangsters and stuff? We went into this apartment building that used to be a subway terminal. Apparently there was one subway in Los Angeles and there was a subway terminal. And she said, when I first started to do these tours in the late 80s, it was before this got converted into a nice building and before downtown was anything other than like a terrifying wasteland. And she's like, and so the security guard would just open up a door and let us go down into the subway station.

Holy shit. Like the derelict subway station that no one had been in in 50 years. Yeah, with the mole people. Yeah, just mole people down there. Who can see in the dark. You got it. The guys. You got it. Directly across Wilshire that faces the park that we shot something for the Sarah Silverman program.

And you would recognize the big stairwell or the big staircase in the lobby from like – it was in the Steve Perry O'Sherry video. Yeah. It's been a lot of things. It's in everything. I saw it the other day in Top – not Top Gun. What's the movie with Leslie Nielsen? Naked Gun. Naked Gun. Naked Gun.

Yeah, it's in there. But they have the security guard there, let us downstairs, and you can go way down underground. There's like an underground pool. It's empty now. They shot a Jay-Z video down there that I saw. Oh, man, that place is so neat.

They shoot a lot of you. You work often on that television show New Girl, and they shoot a lot of New Girl there. Lots of them. They're there once a month shooting New Girl, I'd say. Yeah. Okay, let's get off the subject and talk about who was on my tour. Back to boats. 16 people go off in the first group, and it's just me and Teresa waiting.

Eventually, this other couple comes. Well, first of all, the woman says, I guess it's just us. We might as well leave. This other couple comes. I'm like, well, I guess it's just the four of us. I'm like, cool, four-person tour. Sounds fun. I had this moment.

I was taking a haunted tour in Portland where I thought I was going to be the only guy on a haunted tour. I'm like, oh, man, this will be extra haunted. Then some other people came. Anyway. Were they ghosts? Wait, I mean, no, I have this picture of all of us here. I'll show it to you. Oh, my God.

I'm the only one in the picture. Oh, no, I just need to enlarge it. I actually took out my phone for that bit. You really did. You were tiny people. You also did a two-finger swipe to enlarge when you enlarged. Yeah, I just really wanted to sell it in case this monitor is for some reason hooked up.

Then this family of Russian people came. Just kidding. Like eight of them and they had signed up for some other tour but had missed it and so they were

in our tour and it was, my wife and I spent 20 minutes trying to figure out what this group of people were up to. They lived in Los Angeles. Up to. They were up to. They lived in Los Angeles.

Up to. They were up to. What we came up with was we were pretty sure there were really like eight of them. That's not hyperbolic. Do Russians classically have big families? I don't know. I feel like they do. It's very cold there.

I know that. Let's go with that. I had a friend who lived in Russia for a while and she had this apartment in St. Petersburg with no heat. And so she said, she told me the only way that she could get to sleep at night, literally, this is not being hyperbolic or anything. But in the winter, because she was there for a winter, was she put on all of the clothes she owned at once and then drank until she passed out fuck that anyway that's grim right so anyway uh this family i think maybe the dad was kind of into it and maybe it was like a birthday or father's day present to him right there was one person who seemed mostly engaged and then like seven other

people who were sort of coming and going, drifting in and out. Uh, the dad was also the only member of the group who had, was culturally assimilated enough not to look like a weird foreigner. You know, like everyone else is wearing like orange, like Cox sportif backpacks

or whatever you know what i mean like everyone's wearing like hats that say g-star raw and whatever you know and like and the dad looked like he was like convincingly an assimilated immigrant i mean like he didn't look like a native-born man but like he looked like he belonged in america he just came up to you and said usa baseball right yeah i know bang bang and they're just these people passing in and out like coming in and out of the tour like leaving and then reappearing and this is a tour that's over 10 12 15 blocks so i don't know how they even made it back yeah these teenage girls that were. These teenage girls that were, it was very strange. That part of it was very unusual. But it was a good time.

Did that. Did they end? Did you end the tour with their whole family or were some people gone by the end? Some people left by the end. But then they reappeared at the very end. Oh, okay. Well, that's good. I would be worried if they gradually lost people and there was less of them at the end. Oh, okay. Well, that's good. I would be worried if they gradually lost people and there was less of them at the end.

Out of the eight people, I would say at least five passed in or out once. Just appeared or disappeared one time. Were they annoying? Were they loud? No. It was just weird. It was weird because they were not annoying or loud, but they were like actively disengaged sometimes. Right.

Like sometimes they would just be there standing there like they were taking the tour, but they're just going to each other or like looking at their phones or like talking on the phone, but not being loud. Yeah. It was such a weird combination of them being helpful and not helpful. Right. Like part of it and not part of it. That was the,

if they had just been loud and rude, it would have made perfect sense. Yeah. You're just like, oh, these are people that don't want to be here.

They hate this. Yeah. But the fact that they were this weird combination, or even if they were like, quote, mousy,

you know, the kind of like, I have to be here so I'm going to be polite. It was the weird in-between-ness of it that made me uncomfortable. Anyway, we went to the Bradbury building. It's a cool building.

Went out to dinner, had an amuse-bouche. What's that? Amuse-bouche is like you're in a fancy restaurant, they bring you something just to amuse your bouche. Sure. A random bouche. Come on, Steve, you're in show business. Sure. A random boosh. Come on, Steve. You're in show business. Amuse boosh.

Don't you ever go to a really fancy restaurant with your agent or something? Sometimes, yeah. Yeah, so what do you never go to? They'll bring you a little shot glass of squash soup or something. Yeah, mine, it was like a mint pea drink that was with some panna cotta and it had a little bit of spiciness too.

I couldn't be more confused. And it came in a little shot glass and the panna cotta was in the bottom and they gave you a little special spoon. They said, swirl it around and then eat it with a little spoon. Is it alcohol? No, it's like a soup. It's like something you don't order that the chef sends over before the appetizer. Yeah, it's just like he's just got something going on.

Oh, yeah. You wake up in the chef's house afterwards. The chef has had his way with this. Oh, and the chef is Andy Dick. Yeah, chef. Yeah, executive chef Andy Dick. Okay, this all makes sense. How's everything tonight, guys?

Yeah. We came over to the table. Yeah. I went to- I was on news radio, he says. Yes, we know. The last amuse-bouche I had is I went to Spago recently. Oh, really?

When you say recently, do you mean 1987? Yeah, I mean, no. I went to Spago two weeks ago. It's in Beverly Hills. Okay. And I feel like Spago is just one of those things that I've always used as a punchline. Right. Because it's the legendary show business restaurant of the 80s, especially.

Sure. It's the Mike Ovitz of restaurants. Yeah, exactly. Like, yes. Thanks for clarifying that reference with an even more inside baseball reference. Mike Ovitz was – he was the big agent, you know, back in like the 80s. It's the restaurant that you would see in like L.A. Story or The Player. Sure.

Yeah, exactly. When you need to like make fun of like agents or something like that. That's where they would be. It used to be on Sunset. Oh, I don't know where it used to be. It used to be right next to the old Tower Records, which is also good. Oh. Yeah.

I went, and it was kind of like a joke. I was, like, talking with a friend about, like, where to go, and the friend's kind of a foodie. And we was like, well, I mean, if we're going to have a nice meal, might as well be Spago. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Then it kind of turned into, like, let's go to Spago. I've, like, I've never been, like, I only know it as a punchline, like, where you would go to do blow. And we went, and it was great. There's not a lot more to say about it other than it was goddamn delicious, but it was.

Can I ask you a question? Mm-hmm. How does Jordan Morris dress to go to Spago? What's the dress expectation? That's a good question. Comic book t-shirts acceptable at Spago? Yeah, boy. To be fair, cool-looking comic book store t-shirts.

Oh, Jesse. During the weekdays when I go to work, I have collared shirts. I don't have – Right, sure. You have collared shirts on this show. I want to be clear. I'm not – Jordan doesn't dress like a super slob, but you also don't dress like an –

like are people in there in black suits? No. You know, people were like, you know, just kind of, you know, yeah, shirts, ties. No one looked exceptionally douchey. There was one guy who looked like he could be or just wanted to look like he was in LMFAO. But that was like as bad as it got. Yeah, it was kind of a nice bunch. I think our hostess had a –

Were you there when I saw the guy from LMFAO? Yeah, at the airport. That was the same airport trip. Okay. Yeah. Thank God. Oh, I thought that was like a fever dream. We were at an airport.

And this – that guy looks like he might as well be the guy from LMFAO. Yeah. And then he's like at this Starbucks and somebody goes up to him and says, are you the guy from LMFAO? And he goes, yeah, I am. And they take a picture together. I'm like, oh, okay. Oh, man, of course. So he's just that he goes, yeah, I am. And they take a picture together. Oh, okay. Of course.

So he's just that. Yeah, yeah. That's his life. Yeah, it was not as cartoonish as I wanted it to be. It was just a nice restaurant that was good. Seeing the guy from LMFAO was exactly as cartoonish as you would want it to be. Oh, yeah, yeah. Just to clarify. Spago, not as cartoonish.

Yeah. It made me like, I was like, oh, boy, this needs to be a funnier experience. Should I go up to this one guy and just see if he wants to do blow in the bathroom? I bet he does. Yeah. Yeah, let's see. See if he wants to put avocado on a pizza. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, exactly. Yeah, I thought like that – I thought it would just be Wolfgang Puck shit too, but it wasn't. It was – so, yeah, amuse-bouche, a little shot glass of swash soup. Very nice. Let's see. I think the starter, you do it in courses. So it was like a grilled cherry salad, which was great. It's a fun.

That sounds nice. Yeah. It sounds labor intensive. Yeah, yeah. I guess that's the way you get it. It's bago. Yeah, yeah. And then for, let's see, what else did we have?

We had some sort of asparagus-y salad that came next, which was real good. And then I think for the main course, we had like a- Grilled cheese. Grilled cheese. Yeah, exactly. With avocado. Yes, a selection of fine hot pockets. Artisanal grilled cheese. The chef comes over and explains the hot pockets.

This one is turkey. This one is pepperoni. This one is a Ritz cracker. Do you think if they- Good cracker. Do you think if they run out of something, they just run over to the airport and grab something from the wall? I know. Yeah, exactly.

Like, oh, and here's your Cobb salad. It's been pre-shaken in its plastic container. Oh, yuck. Here is your California pizza kitchen barbecued Thai barbecued pizza pizza from the frozen aisle. Oh, yuck. Yeah. Pizza from the frozen aisle. Yuck.

Yeah, so, yeah, and then our main course was a, oh, God, some tiny bird. Pheasant. Oh, quail. Quail, there you go. It was real nice. And I knew the sommelier who sent over a little cookie platter afterwards. Ooh, the sommelier has access to cookies, too. Oh, yeah, and that's just wine.

My friend Emily used to work at a really fancy restaurant in LA. She ran the cheese cart. We got all the cheese we could eat. She used to come over with a cheese cart pretend that we were buying it

and just feed us different cheeses. Fuck. It was great. I used to work I was a waiter at a really expensive

high end restaurant in like the mid 90s here in LA. It was over in West Hollywood off of like Melrose, like Robertson, called Casbah. And they had the best corn chowder. I never, you never hear about corn chowder. No, no. I've had a great corn chowder too.

I still think about it. Oh my God. Every time I would go in there, before my shift, I would eat corn chowder.. I still think about it. Oh my god. Every time I would go in there before my shift I would eat corn chowder. It's so good. I've never seen corn chowder on a menu anywhere else. Did you have access to chowder? Did you have legal chowder access? Yeah, yeah. It was okay to

have the corn chowder. As long as you scooped it into your cupped hands. Yes. They just had a tap that you had to put your mouth underneath. A fountain of chowder. Because they didn't want you to soil the linens. That was a horrible job.

Really? Just the worst customers. Did the restaurant industry lifestyle agree with you? No. Like doing cocaine? I mean, I guess it was fine. Doing cocaine with everyone else at 4 o'clock in the morning? Isn't that the main thing? It was fine, I guess it was fine. Doing cocaine with everyone else at 4 o'clock in the morning. Isn't that the main thing?

It was fine, I guess. It was just dick customers. Everyone I ever meet that had worked at a fancy restaurant in LA, New York, Chicago, San Francisco, like that, the main activity seems to be just at 4 o'clock in the morning, everyone does blow and fucks each other. It seems to be like the number one thing that goes on. Good old days.

You know who's the nicest customer at that restaurant was Kato Kaelin. Really? He's like 95, 96. Speaking of, yeah. Speaking of the nicest customer I've ever dealt with.

I don't remember he was with a big group of people, but he was so fucking nice. Yeah. What constituted a nice interaction with a Kato Kaelin? He says,

this is a really lovely chowder. Thank you a lot. You know, it was a big table so you couldn't always reach over. You'd get up and get the plate from you.

And he was just really fucking nice and accommodating and good guy. Good guy. I was trying to figure out. This restaurant, this fancy restaurant that I went to with my wife last night, it's in the bottom of the Walt Disney Concert Hall designed by Frank Gehry.

It's sort of a lovely monstrosity is probably the best way to describe it. It's odd. Yeah, it doesn't fit with anything. Overlooks a giant parking lot, a lot of weird things about it. It would be, like, really beautiful in a space city. It looks like a mistake. Like, if you were, if it was in some sort of, like, domed city on Mars. One thing about Frank Gehry buildings they don't tell you is it looks real weird next to regular buildings. You put that in a context of regular buildings, you're like, what is this weird fucking thing?

What is this, a Kentucky Fried Chicken? It looks like a mistake that they're like, oh, actually, okay. I think we got lucky the way everything fell together. Let's just leave it. This was a nice, this was a restaurant where, this has been, it had not occurred to me how long it had been.

I may never even have been in a restaurant where the waitstaff wore a coat and tie, which is unheard of. I mean, everybody was wearing a suit. And our waiter, well, we had one waiter and then a new waiter got subbed in. And the new waiter had his bottom button on his coat jacket buttoned. And I couldn't figure out how I could tell him without being a dick.

It's a classic, it's the classic menswear blogger's dilemma. You tell the host. It's the same thing when somebody has the label still on the sleeve of their coat. Yeah. You're like, oh, you can take that off. That's for taking off. You just get a seam ripper and take it right off.

You don't leave it on there. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't know what to do. What I wanted, I had the scheme. The scheme in my head was he was going to tell me something complicated about one of our dishes, which he was doing throughout the evening. And then I was going to say, you know, my profession, in your profession, you give people useful information about dishes. What they might be ignorant of, as I am completely ignorant of your area of expertise. However, in a similar spirit of helpfulness, my area of expertise suggests that the bottom button of a single-breasted coat should never be buttoned.

I couldn't afford it. Well, I'm glad you didn't think twice about giving me shit for my T-shirt. You're so thoughtful of this random... I wasn't giving you any shit about it, Jordan. By the way, what did you wear? I was sincerely curious. Did you tell us what you wore? No, that's okay. I've just been really...

I just really hate the Jordan dresses like a slob joke that recurs on this show. Jordan, you don't dress like a slob, but you've typically dressed very casually. You must love it when I come in to take some of the weight off your shoulders. Yeah. Anyway. Steve does kind of dress like a slob. I definitely dress like a slob. Nice glasses, though. Thanks. Fitbit? And anyway,

you're very castable, Steve, for that very reason. That's exactly why I stay this way. Yeah. It works. It works. There we go. I stay this way. Yeah. Sure. It works. It works. Yeah. There we go. So I went out to dinner. My wife and I spent some time together.

Stayed at the Standard Hotel downtown. They got this pool at the top of the Standard Hotel. We're checking in, and the whole point, we brought swimsuits. We're like, we're going to swim in this pool. This is going to be fun. We're going to have pool time. Nope.

We're checking in. You know what this lady says to us? Don't go swimming. No. She asks if you had diarrhea in the past 14 days. Watch out for the runoff. She says – we shouldn't have put the pool there. She says, we're having a day party.

So you can get a wristband from – you can get a wristband from the bouncer by the valet. Like, what? That's not real. We don't really need a wristband from a bouncer to go to the hotel pool, do we? And we literally, we went up the special escalator to the pool. It's on the roof, you know. Got up there, walked through the door. A bouncer said, where's your wristband?

We said, we don't have one. He said, you got to go down to the bouncer by the valet to get one. And we're like, we are guests of the hotel. He says, you still need a wristband. And then we just like looked out at this day party, heard the music, and literally just turned to our right, got into the elevator that was directly to our right, and went back to the floor our room was on. It was just done. No, sir.

No, thank you. Yep, doesn't surprise me. It was disastrous. That part was a genuine disaster. The two grand disasters were that and we tried to go to the Museum of Contemporary Art which was closed. Why wouldn't it be Saturday afternoon?

On a Saturday? That's crazy. Saturday afternoon it's closed and a mean lady was mean to us about it. Just there's the woman there.

Is it normally berating anybody who would want to come in? A lady like chased us down and berated us to yell at us about the road being closed. We're like okay

and she's like fuck her. And she's like, fuck her. Yeah, fuck that lady. Is it normally closed on a Saturday? No. It was just randomly closed on a fucking Saturday. Give me a break, Museum of Contemporary Art. The Geffen. David Geffen, you failed us once again.

You're a horrible Los Angeles area philanthropist. Go back to Spago where you're relevant. Go back to the peak of your powers in 1991. Geffen would have been a Spago patron back in the 80s and 90s. David Geffen. Okay, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Bye. It's Jordan, Jesse, go.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morse, boy detective. Steve Agee, undercover lover. Undercover lover. Or undercover brother. Jordan, we got something from the movie Undercover Brother. Are they rebooting it with you instead of Eddie Griffin? Yes, they are.

Yay. Mike Ovitz got me the job. Eddie Griffin. Ovitz brought Eddie Griffin in. He said, Eddie, I got a question for you. We can both agree your time is over. Who stays clowning these days? A.G. Yeah. So get A stays clowning these days? A.G.

Yeah. Get A.G. in here. A.J. What's up on the Jumbotron this week, Jordan? Hey, looks like Joel Kelly's debut novella, Scolding the Winds. Riley is alone. After being kicked out of her parents' house at 18,

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Maximumfun.org slash Jumbotron. We will share your message with the world, whether it's a happy birthday or an advertisement. If you're a real company, if you control a real company and you want to really sponsor

Jordan and Jesse Go, let's make that shit happen. Email Teresa at Maximumfun.org. We don't care what it is your product that you're pushing. I will literally... Brass knuckles. I will sell missiles.

Children's cigarettes. That's what I'm willing to sell. Children's butt plugs. We'll do it. Yeah, let's go. Let's plug them up. Plug them up. That's the motto.

I already sold 200 for you just now with that great motto. It's not for the children's pleasure. It's just because they're using too many diapers. You can relegate your child's poops to once or twice a day. Technically, they're not even a sexual aid. They're diaper control. Sure. Yeah, yeah.

Diaper control material. It's an investment. Yeah. Okay. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Jordan, Jesse Go, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morse, boy detective.

Steve Agee, guy in the room. Steve. Steve, you. I wish I would add more warning about coming to do this today. I would have better monikers. You can keep the same nickname every time. Oh, really? You don't need to change it. Yeah, I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself. No, it's fun, though. It's a

fun thing. Continue. You could just be Steve Agee, lesbian from a bank commercial like Lassus. Jesse, god damn you. Like a nice lesbian from a bank commercial. I'll yank your fucking beard right out of your chin

Let's hold them down And shave them They look really nice On you Steve Thanks That's no joke Alright thanks Steve you saw

That summer boy t-shirt right Oh it was awesome I hadn't seen it before And I think it's amazing Yeah You got a week To order it chumps Don't blow this

Go to maxfundstore.com Cause the leftovers That they don't sell Go to maxfundstore.com. Because the leftovers that they don't sell go to third world countries. No, this is a special pre-order. This is not even, nothing's going to third world countries. Oh, you should make a bunch. If we don't sell them, we just burn them. They could potentially

go to Nigeria or something. We burn them because the ashes have great power. It should say like Summer Boy 2015 World Champions. And then the leftovers go to... God damn it, the Cavs won. The Cleveland Cavaliers won. The Summer Boys did not win.

Do we defeat Summer Boy? Nope. That's wrong. Okay, okay, okay. When something momentous happens to you, like you gain the power of a thousand summer boys by ingesting the ashes of their leftover shirts, we ask you call us at 206-984-4FUN

for our segment Momentous Occasions. That number again, 206-984-4FUN. Put it in your telephone right now. 206-984-4FUN. Let's hear our first call. Hello, Jordan. Jesse Goh. This is Chuck calling from Chicago. I just rode on an elevator with R. Kelly. He was wearing a blue track suit with a blue flat cap. His bodyguard was wearing a white t-shirt with large black letters that said, Happy Birthday! It was a very tense elevator ride. Thank you.

Tense? It was a tense elevator? It seems like it. They were all so tense, like, oh my gosh. That guy didn't sound like it, but he was a teenage girl. Please don't pee on me. Kelly was drinking a giant iced tea. His concern was serial sexual assault.

Unpunished serial sexual assault. Yep. R. Kelly's a horrible human being. One of the worst. Right up there with the worst. Made some great records, though. Yeah. I was just listening to Happy People, You Saved Me this morning.

Beautiful. I don't know what that is. He says, this is R. Kelly, your musical weatherman. The time right now is love o'clock. Oh. Next. I think, yeah, boy, I think if there's just been one lesson

of the past two or three years is that no matter what you buy, an evil man will get some money. Yeah, it is really hard to keep your money away from evil men. That's why you got to buy a summer boy T-shirt. Yeah, sure. We're good dudes.

You're not evil. We've never raped a single teenager. No. You know, I was listening to one of your recent podcasts, I think with Hodgman, and one of your callers, I was dying laughing so hard one of the callers said his was his grandfather's favorite genre of film was talking dog talking

dog movies fucking a i almost crashed my car we're uh we're with you on that that is one of the greatest things ever said yeah talking dog movie it's his grandfather. Man, when you catch up, you'll hear the episode where that very listener came in as a guest on our program because we were so excited. Oh, I remember. Oh, I didn't hear that. Yeah. There you go. Okay, let's take our first call.

Second call. Second. Hi, Jordan and Jesse and Sunny D. This is Molly from North Carolina. Hi, Jordan and Jesse and Sunny D. This is Molly from North Carolina. My momentous occasion is that I just finished my last motherfucking chemotherapy session for breast cancer. I listened since the beginning. I love you all.

You kept me laughing through the bullsittiest time of my life, and thank you for that. And I know it's a couple years late, but I'm sure we can all agree that I am more powerful than ever. Bye. Yeah, more powerful than ever. Congratulations. Hey, how about from here on out, you keep it sleazy like Sunday morning. There you go. Yeah. I mean, I know you've been through a great ordeal, but try and keep current with the slogans, ma'am.

One of my best friends, my friend Adam Katz, he got this kind of cancer where he had to get like uh some kind of laser radiation something like a real localized radiation so they had to like lock him down while they were doing it so he can't move so he can't move so it doesn't it doesn't accidentally like radiate his liver or whatever and uh it was a for one thing it was a very successful uh round his treatments were very successful. He's doing very well. Good. But Adam had to wear this special, like, nightmare mask that's molded to the shape of his face.

Fuck, did he get to keep it? So that he couldn't move his head. But the good news is he got to keep it. Oh. So there's a silver lining to every cloud. Anytime he needs to traumatize someone. Have you seen the mask? Oh, yeah.

It's horrifying. It's imagine like. Hannibal Lecter-y. No, you know that kind of metal fencing that's like small diamonds? Like chicken wire? But it's heavier than chicken wire and it's not wrapped. It's like cast or whatever. You know what I'm talking about? It's like solid. It's not like. or whatever you know what i'm talking about it's like solid

it's not it's not like i think i know what you're talking about yeah it's like a it's like a kind of you could use it as a grating maybe it'd be better to call it a grating yeah just imagine that if you got it super hot and then melted it onto your face fuck so it really it looks sort of like a hockey mask that goes down the entire side of your face, but made out of metal grid. Is it for when you're laying down? Like, could he still wear it if he's standing up? He could wear it, but he would have to come up with some sort of system to close the back of it like maybe the stretchy elastic things of a catcher's mask. Yeah, yeah.

You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, exactly. But it does go along the sides of his face as well. Jeez. It's like a creepy ghost. It's like a mechanical ghost. If you imagine

a mechanical ghost, you know, you turn the key. A mechanical ghost? You mean a robot? Yeah. I wonder from this caller if you,

if you, when you have breast cancer and it, you know, and you beat it, if you get to keep any weird hospital equipment, maybe some sort of bootstrap. Oh, yeah.

I didn't get to keep my appendix when they took it out. I got my appendix out recently and I did not get to keep it either. You got your kidney stone. I do have a kidney stone. Which we've all seen on Twitter. I do. It's very fun to look at on Twitter. I did get to keep my placenta.

Your own. Yum. When you were born. Did you pickle it? Can I tell you something? Teresa and I, you know, Teresa hosts, my beautiful wife hosts the show One Bad Mother on this network, which is extraordinarily successful, especially recently. Really been growing by leaps and bounds.

Amazing Facebook group. And she and Biz are working on this project to make mom achievement badges. Is that what they're called from the Boy Scouts? Merit badges? Merit badges. Mom merit badges. And we were trying to figure out- Mom achievements would be like on Xbox.

Gotcha. And you would get trophies. Sure. Trophies on PlayStation, achievements on Xbox. Oh, okay. So, but there looks like a trophy, right? I've gotten them. I'm not trying to brag,

but I've gotten them for uh john madden football 2008 i'm trying to picture the i haven't i haven't played an xbox in a while uh really yeah i have a picture of a classic golden trophy like a cup with the handles could be i think that's what shows up okay if i remember correctly it might be a metal but i think that's what it is anyway she's working on that and uh the first one that she thought of was, I did something with my placenta. It's a picture of a placenta. And the description is, ate it, planted it in a tree, told the hospital people to throw it away. I did something, you know, whatever.

Which I think is a really good. Sure, yeah. You know? I mean, they can all be symbolic. Yeah. Including having the hospital person throw it away. did something you know whatever yeah which i think is a really good sure yeah you know i mean they can all be symbolic yeah including having the hospital person throw it away i like that it's inclusive too i think we're gonna make these fucking things do you think some like i don't want to like encourage any you know kinds of behavior out there but you know there could what if you know your mom you boil the placenta you have the most amazing glass of placenta tea, and then you're hooked?

Do you go placenta diving in the hospital behind the dumpster because you're chasing that first placenta high? Right. Is that a – Yeah. What about cats? You know how they always say cat moms eat their placentas? What about cats? Do you think they're back behind the hospital eating people placentas?

Oh, could be. Absolutely. Yeah, that's a good way to get a super intelligent race of cats out there. Or do you think the hospital maybe has an orange grove where each tree has been planted with a discarded placenta and has grown in more powerful and beautiful and is a symbol of how much people don't want their placentas? It's possible, especially out in Loma Linda. Yeah. You know, almost all mammals eat their placentas because they're constantly on the verge of death

from lack of calories. Humans, what are the other decadent mammals who can afford not to eat their placentas? Blackfish. Mm-hmm. Angler fish. Should they just eat their trainers? Blackfish eat Mm-hmm. Yeah. Anglerfish. Should they just eat their trainers? Why fish eat trainers? Yeah. Yeah.

Exactly. 206-984-4FUN is the number to put in your telephone. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you. Hey everyone, we're the Flophouse, one of the newest additions to the Maximum Fun Podcasting Network. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington.

And I'm Elliot Kalin. What is the Flophouse, you may very well ask? We watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. I'm Stuart Wellington. up sick bird i'd say that our show is more of a comedy podcast a podcast about words that sound like other words a podcast about me singing long irritating songs like this one a podcast about pitches for a ziggy comic book movie or discussions about sex tarps yeah i mean mostly it's a show about three friends just hanging out and talking about ding dongss. That's mostly used to. Wait, what? So if you like any of those things, subscribe in iTunes today or visit MaximumFun.org to follow the show. The Flophouse.

Woo! Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne. Typically more casually dressed even than Jordan on weekends. I'm wearing shorts today. Jordan's wearing a long pant, so don't get any ideas. Thank you. I feel like I should be able to wear a t-shirt to my own podcast.

Wait, is this your nickname or are you adding on to my nickname? Yes, this is. Yeah, yeah. This is included. Yes. Got it. So my nickname is like a dialogue. Sure.

Would you say it's a Socratesian dialogue? Yes. Got it. So my nickname is like a dialogue. Sure. Would you say it's a Socratesian dialogue? Yes. Which philosopher's dialogues would you say it most resembles? Or do you think it's just that one button on Tumblr? Yeah, exactly. Conversations. Okay. Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

As usual, more shabbily dressed than Jordan, who doesn't dress particularly shabbily. To put it in perspective. Yeah. Just to let you guys know where I'm coming from. You were wearing a tuxedo. I was. I was wearing a tuxedo and Spago.

You were wearing white tie and tails. Why I have to feel like I have to crack down so hard on this slob thing is just because it dogs me. It follows me. It's like I, you know, I cannot mention it for months on end, but it comes up. When I was on,

I was on at midnight a couple weeks ago, first time. You were great. And I was preparing myself. Right. While I, you know, when I looked at Twitter for the first time, I'm preparing myself.

I'm like, okay. You know, it's going to be. It's going to be brutal. It's going to be brutal. It's going to be. Yep. Fat gay. Yep. Fat gay. Yep. Sure. Gay gay. Yep. Fat fat. Fuck this guy. Yeah. Fuck this guy. I've never heard of him. Where's Ron Funches? Bring back Funches. Right. This guy should be Funches, etc. Ron Funches is great at everything. Surprisingly, delightfully, nothing. All nice stuff. This is great. Are we going to talk about the person that insulted your shirt? This is funny.

One bow tie guy said, how can you go on TV dressed like this? He wanted to try to enlist me. Hashtag Jesse Thorntz. Is this your Jordan Jesse Goals sign-in, by the way? That would have been. Can I tell you what this guy said? Who's this? Okay.

I don't remember the specific thing. I remember it vividly. Okay. He said, how could you, Jesse, let Jordan go on TV dressed like that? I was offended, not only on your behalf, but also because I recognized the shirt you were wearing as one that I had thought was a really handsome shirt and complimented you on not one week before. I think it's a fine shirt. It was fine to wear on a fake game show on late night TV.

It's a good shirt. Anyways, so my takeaway from that is like, oh, great. I'm being unanimously complimented except for some fucking bow tie guy telling me I look bad. Anyway. Dude, whenever I do at midnight, I just resign from the internet. unanimously complimented except for some fucking bow tie guy telling me i look bad anyway dude whenever i do at midnight i yeah what's your what's your design from the internet for 24 hours yeah lay down i don't it's exactly what you sure what you were hoping not to get yeah just fucking people fuck this guy why do you keep fucking having this guy? That said, Jordan, for the first time in my life today, and I am almost reticent to say this, not just because this show is long enough as it is, ever, ever not follow our rule of never saying that anyone looks like anyone unless that other person is famous for their attractiveness.

Dude, can we please get into it? If you post a photo of yourself or anybody else, 90% of the comments are just another person's name of who they think it looks like. Oh, God, yeah. 90%. It's fucking infuriating. And this is new, you know, with social networking. Yeah, yeah. You'd post a photo in the past and, hey, cool. Oh, where'd you get that hoodie?

Yeah. Now it's just like, oh, it fucking looks like. Yeah. Never say anyone looks like anyone famous unless that person's famousness is in part based on how good looking they are. And it doesn't matter if you think that famous person is good looking, but they're're not famous for being good-looking, like Jeff Goldblum or something. Sure. Like, sure, a lot of people think Jeff Goldblum is very good-looking. I'd take Goldblum.

But we're not trying to give out free passes here, Gordon. Sorry. Jeff Goldblum is just an example of someone who many people think is attractive, but he's not famous for being attractive. Sure. The key here is the only time it's acceptable is if they're famously good looks. You can say somebody looks like Angelina Jolie or Tyrese. Tyrese. But not like a bloated Angelina Jolie.

That's the kind of comments you get. It's like, yeah, it looks like a bloated Angelina Jolie. And I will always delete those comments, especially when it's about like I post a photo of a friend. And sometimes people, like, will then repost the comment. I delete it. And then they'll reply with, why do you keep deleting my comment? Sure, yeah.

Really? Because it's insulting. Guy I don't know. Insulting my friend. That having been said, so that's the ground rules. And I don't want this to open any gates. And certainly when I open this box, I do not see myself

as being a Pandora-like figure. However, a rent... More of a Spotify. Yeah, a guy... By the way, Jesse, you look like a handsome Brad Pitt today. Thank you very much. Like if Brad Pitt wasn't so, you know, ungainly. Disgusting. A guy on Twitter sent us a picture that I thought must be from a – it's apparently just from a clothing catalog.

He can't remember where he got it, god damn it. But he sent us a picture that he tweeted to the world and at us and used our hashtag, JJGo. A picture that said alternate universe, Jesse and Jordan. Did you already see this, Jordan? I don't think I've seen this. I'm guessing I'm going to love it. No, here's the thing. Not only do I think that he's right, it does look like an alternate universe, Jordan and Jesse.

I'm getting there. I hope it's actually a photo of you guys. On Earth 2. There are two dudes in one picture that legitimately kind of look like us are not ugly dudes they're a little older than we are probably 10 years older than oh than we are i would say and i i think this may literally be the first time in my life i've not been offended by someone saying something comparing my looks to someone who isn't famous for being good looking. Take a look. We're going to post this.

Yeah, I mean. We're going to post this on Reddit or whatever. He's right. Yeah. Right? That does kind of look like us. I don't hate it. I honestly don't hate it. Yeah.

It is sort of amazing. It's some. Yeah, those are like our older brothers or something. Yeah, they're like our older brothers. That's exactly what they're like. They look really cool. They look really cool. They're jacked.

Cool shirts. Big arms. Their shirts are cool. Yeah. big arms shirts are cool yeah yeah they look like they've seen some shit like had some life experiences but they legit like not only it's like on the the first blush i thought well it just looks like us because the one guy has curly hair and the other guy has a shaved head and a beard but actually they kind of even look like us in the face. They're not like spinning image, but good enough for alternate universe. The guy who's supposed to be you looks kind of like Mark Ruffalo. He's got that salt and pepper beard. You know what he looks a little bit like is Matt Lauer. He looks a little bit like a big Matt Lauer.

Yeah. Like a fat Matt Lauer. No. A bulky Matt Lauer. Like a tall Matt Lauer. Yeah. A bulky Matt Lauer. Like a tall Matt Lauer. Yeah. I'll put that on the Reddit. You know?

Yeah. So if you got one of those, do not send it to us because it will not be received. Yeah. This is a weird fluke. It's a weird fluke. Once in a lifetime experience. And I am a fan of Patton Oswalt's comedy. Yeah.

Don't. Don't. Patton Oswalt's comedy. Yeah. Don't. Patton Oswalt's the greatest. If you want to say my sense of humor reminds you of Patton Oswalt, I'd love that. Great compliment. Yeah, that is a compliment. That's all though. Because what is Patton Oswalt famous for? Being hilarious. Sure.

He's one of the funniest guys in the world. Yeah, sure. And he's not even that he's not not a homely man he's just not famous for being attractive that's the standard here the two i get yeah almost exclusively can i guess robert redford no myth buster adam savage yeah that's not a bad one but i think adam savage is a perfect example yeah adam savage is a perfectly good looking dude he's fine he's not a bad one. Especially when I have more facial hair. But I think Adam Savage is a perfect example. Adam Savage is a perfectly good-looking dude. He's fine. But he's not famous for being good-looking.

And I'm also just sick of hearing it. And the other is Philip Seymour Hoffman. Yeah. Two dudes who are not famous for being good-looking. Neither of them an ugly man, but not something you would want someone to say to you. And everyone posting the comments thinks that they're the first person to think about. That's the thing is like – and you've heard it like a million times and you're like, please stop. You're right.

I am wearing a suit just like Paul F. Tompkins does. Yeah. I think there's just like a – what the internet breeds is just like a fatigue. It's a, yes, I know. Yes, I know. Thank you. And it's not, yeah, exactly. It's not like the first time you get that comment, you're like, oh, fuck this.

It's just weeks upon weeks upon weeks of this. It's like, yes. I'm going to make one more exception to this rule. It's a sort of a double exception. It's one point, but it has two sub clauses. You can compare me to any kitten or puppy. So if you want to say- You shouldn't have said that. Not those hairless ones.

Jesse, just wait. Not those hairless ones. Not a she-schwackle or whatever those hairless dogs are called. You're going to get a lot of hairless dogs or cats that people Photoshop beards on. Here it comes. Here it comes. By the way, you need a case for your phone, Jesse. No, I don't. Fuck that.

I've never had a case. I've never broken a phone. You've never dropped that. They're so slippery. I drop it, but I've dropped it, but it's designed to not break. All right. What do you got? What are you rocking there case-wise, Steve?

I don't know. Pixel or perker or I don't know. Bixel or Perker or I don't know. You got a Bixel Perker. That's a good kind. Spec. Speds.

I don't know. You got a Bixel Perker. Is it a spec? Spec. I think the spec folks are listeners to Jordan Jesse Go.

I have a spec and I love it. There you go. 6S plus. We couldn't get them to sponsor the show, but they did send us an enormous box of specs. Oh, shit.

So we just had, I mean, how many cases can you use at once? They were very nice cases, don't get me wrong. You can only use one at a time. There's only like six people in our office, so what are we going to do with 35 specs? I could do a lot with specs phones for an iPhone 6 Plus. Steve Agee endorsed. For an iPhone 6 Plus? And who knows? People at specs, they might think it's a MythBuster rocking your phone case.

Steve Agee, you're on Twitter at Steve Agee. Yeah, at Steve Agee on all the uh social media uh you're starring in uh hit motion picture action comedy uh horror film oh yeah amigo undead uh out on v.a june 2nd vod june 2nd yeah um and And people can catch you regularly in your stand-up comedy entertainment opportunities. Sure. When is this coming out? Monday. Oh, well, then I'll be at the Improv with Brian Posehn on Friday. The Improv in Los Angeles?

Hollywood Improv, yeah. Hollywood Improv with the great Brian Posehn. It's Brian Posehn and friends, and I'm one of them. And there's another one who he's not naming who's really good friends with brian and i who uh we worked with a number of years ago so there then let that be a something i don't know check please it's jay johnston isn't it the comedy of jay johnston i would love to see the comedy of Jay Johnston. This is a stand-up comedy show that's called Six, Four, and Over.

That was a tall cast. Tall men. Huge men. Oh, man. Can I tell you something? You know what a GIF is? Yeah. It's a type of peanut butter.

It's delicious. An internet file that's sometimes animated. Just the other day, I thought to myself, you know what I bet there's a gif of if I search on Tumblr or whatever? Choo Choo the Herky Jerky Dancer. Oh, for sure.

I searched for Choo Choo the Herky Jerky Dancer and I was delighted by the results. Yeah, I had a friend who was, after we went to see the live Mr. Show taping, was sending me, just texting me Mr. Show GIFs. I was really pleased how many there were out there. It seems to me to be, oh, this was before the GIF generation.

But no. Are there any of Karen Colgariff going, oh, you men. That was basically the first one I got. Oh, great. Because that's the only other one. You men. That's the one other one that I want. Choo-choo the

herky-jerky dancer. I want one of David Cross with the little Appalachian stick dancer guy. Oh, yeah. The knee-dancing

stick guy. Colin Marshall on the boards this week, filling in for the great Sonny D. Brian Fernandez, who is off to

London, writing on entertainment televisions, The Royals. Ooh, nice. Yeah. London, England. So congratulations to Brian for that.

He's still cutting the show. He's still editing the show. Cheers to you, mate. Listening to the calls, you know. So if you call in, you're still talking to Sonny D. via a weird message machine service based in Seattle

that also accepts faxes. Really? I swear to God, the company that we use for the voicemail has been the same since we started Jordan Jesse Go. Their website was outdated in 2009 or 8 or 7 or whenever we started Jordan Jesse Go. Yeah. And it is still the same. They have a literal 1998 website. Oh, my God.

K7.net, if I remember correctly. So thanks to Colin Marshall as well as the great Brian Sonny Fernandez. Sonny D. Fernandez. Those Summer Boy t-shirts, this week only. Get them. MaxFunStore.com. While you're there, you can get yourself another Jordan, Jesse, go shirt. A full short.

Get yourself a full short shirt whatever and let's see yeah I'm going to post that picture up on the Reddit group alternate universe

Jesse and Jordan and that's it maximumfund.reddit.com you can check out the forum at forum.maximumfund.org Facebook

things are popping in the Facebook maximum fund group hey how about this start an episode thread for this episode of Jordan Jesse Go Check out the forum at forum.maximumfund.org. Facebook. Things are popping in the Facebook Maximum Fund group. Hey, how about this? Start an episode thread for this episode of Jordan, Jesse, Go. Talk about what's going on in that Facebook group. We're going to love that. People are going to fucking love it, man.

They're going to fucking dig it. Dude, seriously, if you're out there and you want to send us a t-shirt designed for We Are the Boat Factory. Let's see it. I want to see these. Let's see it. I want to see what you can come up with. If we make a shirt, you'll get some guap. We'll guap you up.

Guap. Yeah, we'll get you some guap. We'll get you some guano. Yeah, Salton Sea style. Salton Sea bat guano. It's poison country out here, folks. It's the worst. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica.

MaximumFun.org We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica.