Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 388: Lady Shaft with Janine Brito

Episode Date: August 3, 2015

Comedian Janine Brito joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the events happening in MacArthur Park outside the office, the evolution of Jordan's favorite dinosaur, and the highlights of Janine's trip to RuPaul's DragCon.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morse, boy detective. Jordan, happy Dia de los Salvadoreños. Thank you. Going on on the street outside of our house. There's two main... Did you get your gift? I just got it through Amazon and had them send it with a little note. No, it did not.

It didn't come. Oh. Spoiler alert, it's a phone charger. Oh, okay. Yeah. I thought you could use it. It's great because every other year you've bought me pupusas. Yeah, so... But I thought I would mix it up. I actually had pupusas for lunch. I guess it was in honor of Dia de los Salvadoreños.

And did you charge your phone? I did. So there you go. There we go. So perfect. I am right on time having the perfect day to celebrate El Salvador. What was in the pupusa? It was a pupusa revolta. That's like a combination

of cheese and meat. Great. Yeah, it was fantastic. God, I love pupusas. You know what I was thinking, Jordan? There is a quick word about pupusas. Yeah.

I've started to watch the Amazon original Transparent. That's a very good show. Enjoying it a lot. The first episode has two characters using pupusa as like an erotic undertone or, you know, what am I – a simile, an erotic simile. Pupusa sounds like pussy basically is what they're getting at. Right. Now I – And it's not not pussy like basically, is what they're getting at. Right. Now I-

And it's not not pussy-like if you cut it in half. Sure, absolutely. It sounds like it, kind of looks like it. Yeah. So, yeah, so I'm having a hard time separating the food from that. It was a very potent scene for me. Ah. And it's not a bad thing.

It's just my reality. So just thinking about it arouses you is what you're saying. I mean, it's a a bad thing. It's just my reality. So just thinking about it arouses you is what you're saying. I mean, it's a complex melange. You know, in Cuba, they eat a lot of tropical fruit. This is something I understand from my wife who spends her time living in Cuba. They eat a lot of tropical fruit in Cuba, among which is the papaya. But in Cuba, papaya just means pussy. Oh, what do they call a papaya then? Fruta bomba. So you cannot say papaya but in cuba papaya just means pussy oh what do they call a papaya then fruta bomba

so you cannot say papaya if you accidentally say papaya people something will happen like shit will go down okay people will flip out because it's like it's as though you went to the green grocer and said can i have some pussy um? Okay, so there's two main things going on in the park outside of our house. I took the subway here today and walked through the celebration of El Salvador, which is an annual event here. Lots of Salvadorans in the neighborhood. A lot of fun, a lot of cell phone plans and phone cards for sale, a small amount of handicrafts,

and some really intense Salvadorian clowning going on. Just a woman in an enormous fat suit wearing like a pippy long stocking-esque outfit and talking like this in Spanish super fast, way too fast for me to even catch anything, and getting big laughs. Oh, boy. Yeah, I think, what's a woman from Susie Essman? I think she's probably the Salvadorian Susie Essman. Sure, yeah.

You know? She's probably up there. Yeah, Salvador and Curb Your Enthusiasm. The other? I mean, gosh, I feel bad because our guest is sitting right here, but do you think it's too late to get Salvador and Clown Woman? Oh. Yeah, I mean. Sorry, and again, I know I'm being rude.

This is maybe the rudest I've ever been. Our guest, Janine Brito, is literally sitting in the studio. We scheduled this like a month ago. Yeah, yeah. That Janine would come in on this particular weekend. But when else are we going to be so close to? Well, she is on stage right now. The Salvadorian Clown Woman is on stage. We could get

the two cell phone clowns. Because there were two cell phone clowns. Does every booth have an accompanying clown? I don't mind opening for the Salvadorian Clown Lady. If you guys want me to fill in until she's off stage and wants to come in, I'll put it on my resume. I'd be honored.

Sure. Great. And you could start expanding into not just Salvadorian shows, but I bet that could get you some Guatemalan bookings as well. You know, I middled for her at Rooster Teeth Feathers. Oh, Rooster Teeth. Sunnyvale. Cock-a-doodle-doo. I've never middled for anyone in my life. What's better, Rooster Teeth Feathers in Sunnyvale or Go Bananas in Cincinnati? Go Bananas. Club-wise,

I would say Go Bananas. No, no, that's not what I'm asking. Oh, you mean like the aura and ambiance? Rooster Teeth. So you're the only proper stand-up comedian here. Let's say, which do you prefer? Janine Brito, by the way, our guest here in the program, stand-up comedian, writer for television, performer on television.

You might have seen her on our friend Kamau Bell's show last year, lots of other things. Anyway, sorry, Janine. So which do you prefer? Rooster Teeth Feathers or Go Bananas? Let's do name and then let's do general club ambiance, et cetera, audiences. So theme and name, Rooster Teas. I do enjoy that cock-a-doodle-doo voicemail. I have called it hoping no one picks up.

I've called it too. Yeah. Jordan was in a comedy contest there when we were in college and I called it and I couldn't believe that they really said cock-a-doodle-doo. You reached Rooster Teas. They say that before the show starts too. Yeah. They're really like, too. Yeah, they're really like, we're known for cock-a-doodle-doo.

If we don't say it, people are going to be disappointed. Cock-a-doodle-doo! You're about to see 12 inept comics today. It would be like going to see Asia and them not playing Final Countdown. Asia? Welcome to Europe. Who does the Final Countdown?

I'm going to say Europe. I think it's Europe. Right? Welcome to Europe. Who does the final countdown? I'm going to say Europe. I think it's Europe. Right? It is Europe. We have confirmation from Julian that it's Europe. What did I say? Asia? Anyway. Asia Carrera? Is that correct? I think that's a star of pornography.

Oh, okay. But I think she does have the final countdown playing whenever she is performing. But you would prefer... These are very expensive to make pornos. You have to license the final countdown. You prefer – she used to do Eye of the Tiger, but it got out of the budget range. Yeah. We're sorry.

You're not the draw you used to be, ma'am. You have to pick a cheaper inspirational song. So, Janine, you're saying – A cheaper pump-up song. You're going to go Rooster Teeth Feathers for name but go Bananas for Club to Play. For the actual show experience, yeah. Although I do also, I feel like Rooster Teeth also plays like the same old pink medley, where it's like, get this party started, when like lights are going off, and they still

do that before every show. And that I enjoy. They're like, we bought this one CD. We have a pink single. This is it. We have a pink CD single. We're going to play the original and then the remix B-side. Sure, yeah.

And that's it. It would be awesome if the owner of Rooster Teeth Feathers went to the guy that runs the sound system and was like, come on, man. We can't just play that same goddamn pink CD every night. Because the next night it's like a Smiths song. Yeah. Sorry, we have, yeah. Right. So the next night it's like a Smith song. Yeah. Sorry. We have. Yeah.

You know what song I would like to hear? And I don't know what the what the tone of someone playing it would be. Probably. I mean, there probably a significant amount of irony involved with it. But I would go a little bit bonkers if someone just like on a jukebox or tears in heaven before a comedy show. Is that where you're going? Yes, exactly. Cats in the cradle and the silver spoon. We can all just think about our dads and cry. Would be Vitamin C's graduation song.

Oh, yeah. How fucking what a weird little thing that was briefly. And how just kind of weird and dope would that be to hear that out? There was a period where there was that song. And then there was that other graduation song that was just like a guy reading a speech over a thing that was like, wear sunscreen. There was like three years. And then like Green Day or somebody came out with a...

Oh yeah, Time of Your Life I think is the is the graduation song that doesn't explicitly mention graduation. But it's got that feel. And I could see it maybe being like actually about heroin or something like that. But yeah, I feel like, yeah, Green Day really hit something by doing that song but not making it ultra specific. I think that's what took Vitamin C down. Right. Or lifted her up.

Sure, yeah. I have a question for you two. She rose to high heights and fell like Icarus. I had the opportunity to attend a Los Angeles Dodgers baseball game earlier this week. They were playing the Oakland Athletics Baseball Club. Unfortunately, the Dodgers won. But it put me in mind of a question that someone asked on the Maximum Fun Facebook group recently, which is, when you are a baseball player, you get to pick the music that plays.

In most stadiums, you get to pick the music that plays in most stadiums. You get to pick the music that plays as you stride plateward. You know, when you're headed up to bat, they play some music and it's the same every time and you get to pick it. There was a guy on the A's for a while who was using Careless Whisper, the sax solo from Careless Whisper and that sort of suggests the question what would be the worst I would love to cite the people who brought this up on the Max Fun Facebook group because it was a couple

I think the lady of a lady dude couple posted it. She said her pick was Baby Elephant Walk and her boyfriend said the theme from Night Court. Which, when I heard the theme from Night Court, which, by the way, goes... There's actually lyrics to that song.

People don't know. It's a... It's court at night. it's court at night. It's court at night. Like court in the day. Anyway. Something, something, Veltorme. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I mean. Here comes John Larroquette. What, what, what do you think would be the worst? I was going to go and say Br brick by ben folds five oh sure i feel like that everyone i'm famous going to get an abortion anthem be like well i'm gonna knock this one out of the park yeah sure it's the same as with green day like you know if you were writing to an occasion the publishing is just gonna come in year after year after year after year because just like everyone has graduations.

Everyone needs a song to play while they go to get an abortion. Sure, yeah. Terminated pregnancy. And going not sadness but if we're going pure – just a song that when people hear, they're like, oh, I'm not going to forget that now. It would be that – and I hate to sing it. It would be that – Oh, yeah. Like just that – that, and I hate to sing it, it would be that do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do picking that because he can't find the bonda song sure that a latin american guy who's a relatively recent immigrant wants to play right yeah so he just go i don't know why

about this that do do do do do do do do song yeah i'm gonna go hello mudda hello i mean any novelty song from the 50s but like specifically Mike Diggling or something I was thinking Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yeah Oh yeah Or like a song about like

like Lucky Lindy or something like when people wrote songs about aviators Just imagine like like David Ortiz or like Mark McGuire walking towards the plate

these huge six foot five, five-inch, 275-pound men. And just in the background, it was her itsy bitsy teeny yellow polka dot bikini. I would have knew it. He's like doing those kind of stretches. Yeah, with the baseball over his back. Behind his back. Stretching it out. Okay, here's the other thing that's going on in the park right now.

So at some point this summer, our office overlooks MacArthur Park Lake here in Los Angeles. Beautiful park, beautiful lake, man-made lake. At some point this summer, there's going to be a – gosh, what's that couple that does the giant public art projects? You know, the Gates in Central Park. Sure, yeah. Jean-Paul. Christo. Yeah. He has those murderous umbrellas, right?

Yeah. They're going to do like a – Didn't those umbrellas kill some people? I hope so. Can I say, speaking of just awful tragedies, awful accidental tragedies. Sure. A tree fell and, like, sent some children to the hospital at Pasadena's Kid Space Museum, which is a place where I often am. They have no idea why this enormous, like, 200-foot-tall tree fell over.

But it sent, like, 11 kids to the hospital because it was summer camp going on. Oh, no. Then like two days later, we got an email soliciting us to attend a concert benefiting Kid Space with a band playing called The Hollow Trees. Oof. And then just another one. That's when you get Europe. Yeah. That's when you get Europe. Yeah. That's when you get Europe.

So anyway, there's a sort of second-rate public art project that is planned for this summer in MacArthur Park Lake. It will be filled with metallic globes, which have been decorated by local school children. Filled completely. They look sort of like a beach ball- sized version of one of those chrome Christmas tree ornament globes. That seems like it's going to just be leaking a bunch of lead paint into the water. You know what I mean? That seems like a mistake.

I think this- I'm concerned about the turtles. I'm not going to tell you that I'm not worried about the turtles in the lake. There's some duck life out there too that is probably going to be affected. I saw some fucking ducklings this week. That was tremendous. That's great. That was great, just swimming around right in front of my nose.

Little cuties. Like it wasn't anything. Like it wasn't no thing. Okay. I think in that, I think you're right to be concerned. I will say I think, given what I know about the lake, it's not exactly not tainted. It's currently X amount tainted.

It will become Y amount tainted. But it's... Yeah, I think we're putting a hat on a hat here. True. This is a caps for sale situation. Yeah, total caps for sale. A pee-stained hat on a pee-stained hat. Yeah, exactly.

Heroin. Insert heroin where P was. Or like a gun with the serial number filed off. That would be two things you could replace. But it is a wonderful park and I think it's a neat project. I think right now there is a giant pier that goes into the lake. I'm going to say it's maybe 40 feet long and 8 or 10 feet wide. That would be my best guess. A big pier that is like floating on like plastic oil drums, I'm going to say, like lashed together.

It looks like... Like a castaway's makeshift raft. Yeah, like a refugee boat. Sure. And it is, but it's a pier. And it was attached to the area where once there was an actual pier in the lake, there was a place where there's a hole in the ground where a boathouse used to be. And it was sort of over there for a couple of days.

And I saw people like installing it. And then there was a rainstorm. And for the last week, it has just been floating around the lake. It is absolutely like at some point it got caught on the other side of the lake and tied with a rope to a pole. I think this is what we call a ghost ship, Jesse. I think this is a ghost ship. No laws apply on this platform. That's my contention.

I would think we could swim out there and gamble and have dogfights. Yeah, absolutely. I think that we should. Like no laws apply? Yeah, U.S. laws do not apply. I mean, it's a ghost ship situation, right? Yeah. I mean, anybody who's taken Law 101 knows.

That a ghost ship is just. Anything goes. The Reno of the world. I don't know what that phrase means. Yes, it is the Reno of the world. Martial law. I saw a submarine movie about a ghost ship starring Jude Law. And my recommendation is we take a look at that platform in case there's gold bars.

Oh, yeah. Or Jude Law. It could be that there's good, who is solid gold. I don't think. Yeah, I mean, he's got that's gold bars. Oh, yeah. Or Jude Law. It could be that there's good... Who is solid gold. He's got that solid gold smile. Can I go back to the topic of naming and picking two things and asking

which one's better? Yeah. Along the lines of what we did for Go Bananas or Rooster Teeth Feathers. I want to get your guys' opinion. Which is a better... Which is the better subtitle for a Mission Impossible movie? A couple years ago, we had Ghost Protocol. Can I suggest one just right off the top of my head? Mission Impossible colon Ving Rhames is alive?

I was going to say Ghost Protocol or Rogue Nation. I think these are both two very good subtitles. I like them both a lot. But I think we should probably pick which one is the best. I've already made up my mind. Does anything come to your guys' mind immediately? Well, one of the problems with Ghost Protocol is I know what a Rogue Nation is, but I don't know what a ghost protocol is. And so there's a part of me that's thinking that this is about making a plan ahead of

time, like with your block captain in case of ghosts getting together. Or is it the ghost plan where it's like a list of things like flick lights on and off? These are ghosts having the meeting. Ghosts are like, listen, we've got a bunch of to-dos. So this is when you start haunting. You just get a ghost protocol. Yep. A to B to C to D.

You don't make the blood drip from the walls on the first night. Right. You build up to it. You've got to follow ghost protocol. Ghost protocol, yes. It's like going to work at Best Buy or McDonald's. They have to standardize the experience

despite a lot of turnover in the profession. It's like they have a bathroom sign-in sheet, but it's haunting the bathroom instead of cleaning it. You make the rounds. Have you rattled chains in this bathroom today? And then you put, Dave, 1245.

Employees must turn lights on and off. Right, constantly. Yes, yeah, yeah. Employees must wash ectoplasm. Yeah. That's what ghosts are made of. So I'm going to go with rogue nation. But here's the thing.

Sure. So on the one hand, the fact that I understand Rogue Nation makes it clearer and in some ways punchier. But Ghost Protocol is more intriguing because it's clearly something. Sure. Yeah. I mean, they wouldn't just name a movie subtitle. Well, it's not a James Bond movie. It's a five degrees to the left or to the right of that. It's a mission impossible movie yeah um i am gonna say i'm gonna say i prefer

i'm gonna say that rogue nation is better for driving but ghost protocol is better for fucking okay great great yeah uh your thoughts i feel like i want to see ghost protocol but specifically the movie as we described it okay oh you want to see Ghost Protocol, but specifically the movie as we described it. Okay. Oh, you want to see Ghost Planning. Just a bunch of ghosts planning and going throughout the routine of their day. And is this the same cast? Is this Tom Cruise, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg? Yes, and they are being haunted, and we would decide the new cast of who the ghosts are.

Oh, I like that. Tom Cruise, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg kind of in the bathroom living their spy life. How about it's the cast of Mission Impossible being haunted by the cast of Fast and Furious? Perfect. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'm going to go Ghost Protocol.

I like the vagueness and I think that movie subtitles should be interchangeable and nonsensical. I think you should be able to put one wherever and it should apply to all movies. What do you think Ving Rhames and Simon Pegg get paid to be in Mission Impossible? I bet Ving Rhames... More... Is it Radio Shack money? Oh, like doing a Radio Shack commercial?

Yeah, I think so. With Terry Garr or whatever? Who's the other person? I think it's probably an internship for Ving Rhames at this point. I think he's getting college credit to be in the Mission Impossible movies. You think he's getting like a master's in education from Temple University like Dr. William Cosby?

Yeah. Okay. Okay. I can see that. What about for Simon Pegg? Simon Pegg, they just make sure to shut down the internet comments when he says that sci-fi is infantilizing. So they like keep that off his radar. Did he say that sci-fi is infantilizing?

I think he said sci-fi and fantasy is infantilizing, yes, and then was promptly, promptly flamed. Holy shit. Yeah. Did he really say that? He did, yeah. It was pretty intense. Wow. He backtracked in a very elegant way, clarifying what he meant.

I think he just said it off the cuff on like a podcast or something. Wow. And was promptly – I mean, to some extent, he's right. Yeah. No, I mean – Probably to the extent that he was saying it, he's right. Sure.

That's not my issue here. But that is bread and butter. That is an amazing mistake for Simon Pegg. Yes, absolutely. And I think it was one of those things where like clipped out and just put on, I don't know, whatever, geekology or something like

that. Kotaku.com. Thank you. Kotaku.com. That's a better example. I mean, he's probably saying it in a really reasonable, smart way, being a reasonable, smart guy. Denofgeek.com. Denofgeek. Latinoreview.com.

Latinoreview. Latinamagazine.com. Latinoreview. That's the website that inexplicably is called Latinoreview, but is dedicated to- Marvel casting news. Yeah. Is that a real site? Every time someone says, guess who's playing Green Goblin?

It's Latinoreview.com. What? It is mostly wrong. But it is weird that they claim to have their ear to the ground. Anyway. Yeah, well, I mean, I was out there. The Salvadorian clown was talking about who's going to play Green Goblin just now. Is that why everyone was laughing?

Yeah. It was a lot of fun., it was a lot of fun. That sounds like a lot of fun. A lot of fun out there. We didn't talk about what, we didn't determine what Simon Pegg gets paid, though. You think he gets paid $300,000? No, I mean, I think they just fucking keep the nerds off him. Oh, you think he gets paid with like a nerd.

The nerd, like, smoke screen. So, ironically, he plays a character with like total information awareness. But actually it's the Sony Corporation or whatever exercising their total information awareness by shutting down the people who were flaming Simon Pegg. Yes. And keeping him safe. I see. So I think it's just a roundabout blackmail situation all around. I think Jeremy Renner just gets a giant jug of gin every day to show up to the set.

Cigarettes, too. Cigarettes, also cigarettes. I once interviewed Jeremy Renner at like 10 o'clock in the morning. I was about to say he couldn't have been nicer, but he could have been nicer. It was fine. It was not like a bad nightmare.

But he smelled very bad. He smelled strongly of booze and cigarettes, like an uncle you hate smelling. Like an uncle you hate smelling? Like the uncle that can't come to Thanksgiving anymore? Yeah. Oh, that brought up such a visceral memory and experience. Do you have a smelly uncle in your past? I sat behind a guy on the LAX Super Show recently that had that specific smell where it's just like old man who just has been sitting in the same Lazy Boy recliner smoking a pipe smell. Sure.

Yeah. shuttle on the road earlier this week and i thought to myself that is something that will never be part of my life forever i'm making this commitment to myself i love the super is this i will clarify does it go to the is it because the airport yeah it goes from hollywood why and i take is hollywood la okay this is like the van the like 12 passenger van that picks you up all right oh but oh i meant flyaway shuttle sorry not the super show the like 12-passenger van that picks you up. All right. Oh, I meant flyaway shuttle. Sorry, not the super shuttle. The flyaway is what I take. Oh, the flyaway shuttle is the one that goes from – is this the one that goes from the –

There's three. There's like a Santa Monica Union Station and a Hollywood. That's fine with me. See, that's what I'm willing to do. Okay. I'll do anything to prevent – to not be on the one. And it's not because it's faster. I just, there's, it so hurts me that like they pick you up five hours before your flight. Yeah.

And you have to go from house to house. And you just go from house to house. Oh, it's just maddening. It is. I love the flyway shuttle because I went to, I walked to hollywood once and i got to the place where it was parked it was really early and when i got there the driver of the shuttle was driving a tinier remote control toy shuttle on the sidewalk what yes like while he was on break he had this little micro machine little truck and was just like doing tricks on the sidewalk.

And it made me so happy because I was like, this man is living his dream. Yeah. He just loves driving trucks. Heather and Jan. Yes. I think he just like before he got the job, you know, someone gave him the remote control one and, you know, with a little note that said someday. Yeah. And it's been like his totem.

Yeah. It's like someday I will drive the flyaway. Huh. That's great. It was so. That's funny. They also have like flyaway branded. It wasn't flyaway branded, but it was like it was a very similarly shaped little van.

I'm always amazed what they will what they will brand for kids. what kinds of kids' toys they will come out with, like a remote control airport shuttle. I did see that I think Lego Knockoff Playmobil has a set that is airport security. You're hurting Playmobil fans by describing it as a Lego knockoff. Oh, wow. This is going to be your fantasy and sci-fi. Yeah, so I was amazed at what a kid would want to do. Like, oh, I

want to play airport security. Anyway. There's also the issue of those dinosaurs that are like hyper-realistic. And it costs like $18 at the fancy toy store. Oh sure. But it's still a plastic dinosaur. Yeah. But it's

proportions are realistic or something and it's you know purports to be more educational than just a you know orange bathtub T-Rex or something. Children are crazy A and B there are a lot of weird things in between children and the things they

want, and manufacturers play in the weird gaps. I think that's what's going on. I mean, I feel like it's just, I feel like those toys aren't for kids, though. I feel like they're for... Masturbators? Yep. Guys who are like, oh, man. Dino fetishists? Yeah.

I want a brachiosaurus on that show. I like the ridge on the skull. Feels nice on my prostate. This brachiosaurus is not cutting it. I need a diplodocus. Brachiosaurus was bigger. I guess diplodocus was longer. You're right.

Diplodocus is the longest one. That's what you want, length. Well, you want a sort of elegance of form. Sure. I guess it all, you know, I of elegance of form. Sure. I guess it all – I'm sorry that I implied that there is a universal scale to judge which dinosaur is best to masturbate with. Because everyone has their own journey. Everybody's got their own thing. And it's all beautiful.

And I'm very brave for saying that. Don't yuck my dinosaur yum. I won't. I'm sorry. What's your favorite dinosaur, Jordan? Oh, boy. That's a... Ain't that the question?

Yeah. Ain't that... I mean... I know you have a favorite dinosaur. I did. Yeah. I think for... As a kid...

You did. Come on. I'm talking about my journey here. Okay. Don't step on my journey. It's important and I'm, yeah. I think for – as a kid – You did. Come on. I'm talking about my journey here. Okay. Don't step on my journey. It's important and I'm very brave. Sure. I think as a kid I loved the Triceratops and its variants, Styracosaurus monoclonius, Pentaceratops.

And I think I was a little bit of like a band snob with dinosaurs and that I liked saying I liked a dinosaur that people didn't know what it was. Which one is the one that's like a triceratops but it has horns on its ridge? It's a Styracosaurus. That one's pretty dope. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I think as a kid it was probably Pentaceratops, which is a five-horned triceratops variant. And as an adult—

And this is, like, when you say a variant, this is like a hologram card? Yeah, it's made of foil. Got it. Yeah, and it's very rare. It has a little bit of game-used uniform from Derek Jeter. Yes. But, I mean, as an adult, I've grown up and I've changed a lot sure and i've been out there yeah uh and i think that a lot of different dinosaurs had my heart broken sure learned a lot and i think right

now i'm kind of an allosaurus man which is a a smaller, faster T-Rex with bigger arms. Yeah. That's not a bad pick. Lived in the Jurassic period, not the Cretaceous. So you're saying you've become more predatory. Yeah, exactly. Well, I mean, I think people say that they were scavengers. And I have been eating more garbage.

It seems like you want – I was going to say it seems like you want a dinosaur that can sort of provide for you. It seems like you want to sort of sit back and be pampered a little bit. Like, let that dinosaur go out and get you something. Sure. No, that's interesting. And maybe, yeah, maybe I am projecting right now. Do you to some extent want a dinosaur that can hold you?

Yeah. I mean, in a T-Rex,ex can't hug with those little nubbies. Yeah, and certainly... You need the warm embrace of the Allosaurus. Pentaceratops can't give you a hug. It's got to keep all four feet on the ground unless it's going up into a tree to get some tasty

shoots. Yeah, it loves those shoots. I have to say, you know, I was always a Triceratops man myself, historically. Good choice. One relatively Shoots. I have to say, you know, I was always a triceratops man myself. Historically. Good choice. One relatively recently mainstreamed dinosaur. One that appears in all of my son's dinosaur books that certainly wasn't a mainstream dinosaur when I was a kid that I like a lot. Taste change.

Kid's all quattless. Oh, sure. Well, I guess dinosaur guys would probably say that that's a pterosaur. Is it? Yeah. The flying ones. Because it can fly. Yeah, not a dinosaur.

But dinosaur adjacent. And I don't want to be one of those guys. I don't want to be one of those guys. It remains a terrible lizard. Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day. If we get to Latin roots. Is it or is it not a terrible lizard?

Sure. Good wingspan on that guy, huh? Yeah. And a favorite dinosaur? Does anything ring a bell? Talk us through this. I would say I went to public school in Miami. So my knowledge was very limited.

So your favorite dinosaur is Pitbull. Yep, that's my favorite dinosaur. He was from the reggaeton period. Sure, yeah. I remember as a kid loving the Stegosaurus. And then when I found out it was one of the dumbest dinosaurs, I was like, God damn it. But then that weirdly made me love it more. All of my dinosaur knowledge is based on Land Before Time.

Sure. Oh, the Stegosaurus was very dumb in that. Yes, Spike. He didn't even talk, right? No. He let a lot of guttural sounds, I think. But I think favorite dinosaur of all time would have to be Denver the Last Dinosaur.

Oh, sure. Well, he's our friend in a whole lot more. Yeah, the skateboarding dinosaur from the 90s cartoons. I may be the 20, 000th person to say this but have we ever looked into what the whole lot more was right yeah friends with benefits are you fucking that dinosaur okay but it's a non but it's with denver it's like not it's a non-committal thing right he's open he's poly sure i got Sure. All you gang can hang out with me. Let's see where this goes.

He said love plus love equals love. True. That's what Denver the Last Dinosaur is all about. It's not finite. There's not a finite amount of love. It feeds itself. Exactly. Now everyone put your keys in this bowl.

As long as you wear your safety pads. Helmet and safety pads are very important. And play your guitar constantly. We'll be back in just a second on Troy and Jessica. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, play. I love this carpet. And your fingers dissect things just as well as anything does. These stories are great to listen to while you're doing laundry, going for a run, cleaning your bathroom, or not sleeping on an airplane. Make boring stuff fun with Rendered, available now at MaximumFun.org or wherever you like to get your podcasts. It's Jordan, Jesse Go.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morse, play detective. Janine, me, Brito. I am me. I really choked on that, guys. Do you want to do it again? We can go back.

You can give it some thought. Nicknames are fun. We do that kind of a lot. Yeah, we do. We should probably prepare people for this ahead of time. Sure. We should put that at, yeah, when we have people contact your management because we want you to appear on the show. It's a very formal process.

You let us know what your day rate is. We say no chance in hell. We actually initially were trying to get Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise's manager said Tom's not available, but I have another client you might be interested in. She's a stand-up comedian. She's on a scripted series on BuzzFeed. She's friends with your friend Kamau. Her name's Janine Brito.

We're like, yeah, okay. All right. Bring her in. And maybe we get Tom Cruise next time. I'll see if I can put in a good word with Tommy. You are cool with hanging off the side of an airplane, right? That's the only way I travel since i fly spirit airlines it's practically hanging on a wing uh zing pow um so you just you were coming to us from a bridal shower you left

the bridal shower early to come and do this which we appreciate oh yeah no no no worries at all um it was my first i've never been to a Bratislava. I can't even say it. Bratislava. It was very, very ladylike. It was a high tea. I don't know what the games they were going to play were. You left before the games. I left before the games.

You're well-known across this country for your dainty femininity. That's very true. That's very true. That's very true. I am essentially the – I'm like going into a thing and I can't think of a reference. That would be like the thing of comedy. Maybe we can help you out. All right. Let's table this.

What's dainty lady stuff? I don't even know dainty lady stuff. Sure. You're a living doily. Is that kind of what you are? Yeah, kind of. Okay, sure. I'm the doily of comedy.

You're wearing a frock coat. I am. It's what I live in. You're a scented candle come to life, right? Uh-huh. Okay. Pretty much. I am a Lululemon.

There you go. Yeah, sure. That is what I am. Yeah. How was it before you had to leave? Were you having a good time? Were you sorry to leave? I was sorry to leave.

It was a good time. It was a little intimidating. I get intimidated in large groups of very, very feminine ladies when I'm not trying to score. What? Where's your air horn now, Jordan? Somebody already did air horn noise. I do have an air horn app on my phone that I can break out in. In cases like that.

In case of rat emergencies? Yes, exactly. We've reached DEFCON 5. It's getting too rad in here. Denver the Last Dinosaur just skateboarded up. And he's got pizza rolls. Oh, that would have been my dream as an 11-year-old. God, if that happened.

If Denver showed up with Totino's. Yeah. Instant puberty. Yeah. My balls would drop. My body just changed. No, I'm sad I didn't get to play the games. I was a little confused.

I don't even know what games they were going to play, but I think one of them involved a bouquet made out of paper mounted on a paper plate. I don't know. I don't know what it is. Yeah, because when you say high tea, my impression of what goes on at a bridal shower, it's a little randy.

It's a little saucy. This seemed very family friendly. There were two preteen nieces there. There were aunts. So you're not going to make the preteens put on a penis crown. No. Okay. I think it's like cute, isn't it?

Like don't they play like the newlywed game or something? Like it's like it's because there's grandmas there. So like a bachelorette party, you put a dick on your head. Sure. One way or to other, you eat penis-shaped pasta, et cetera. Yeah. This was not that. When we were on our way to the bridal shower, I asked the bride, I was like, so is this like an open bar or what?

She was like, no, this is tea. It's a real – yeah, I feel like all wedding-adjacent things I think are really fun because they have open bars. And I guess I would be pretty bummed if I was doing someone's wedding thing and couldn't get immediately drunk. I was sad I didn't know beforehand because I would have brought a flask, which was maybe inappropriate. What did you get to put down your gub, though? I had a very nice Earl Grey.

I had some salmon cucumber sandwiches, curry chicken salad sandwiches. This is a very high tier. Scones. Yeah. Lemon tarts. Not even deviled eggs. No. It was all she-she fancy.

My main shit right now is like if I go to an event and there's no deviled eggs, fuck it. I'm outie. Yeah. Oh, I will make deviled eggs for myself at this point. I reached a point in my life where I'm like, if I want it, let me make it happen for myself. You should have two things ready in your jacket pocket at all times. A flask, if there's no open bar, and a little baggie of doubled eggs.

Maybe some paprika in your shoe in case they're not spiced properly. I like that. I like that as spy equipment. Yeah. Can we get that in the next mission if possible? Yeah, that could be Simon Pegg's thing is spicing everyone's eggs. Some paprika. Yeah.

And it gives it color too, which is nice. Sure, it is. Yeah. Devil eggs are very attractive and they are kind of a popular foodie thing these days. Like cute restaurants will all have their riff on the deviled egg. Yeah, I feel like they do that where they take something very, very much like very down home. Like, oh, your mom made this. But then it's like, and we truffle. Yeah, it's like they do that where they take something very, very much, like very down home. Like, oh, your mom made this. But then it's like, and we.

But we. Truffle. Yeah, it's usually truffle. I'm just like, put some fucking mustard and mayo in that yolk, mash it up and put it back in. I'll eat that shit. I like looking at them when people order them, but think they are very gross. Oh, no, they're the best. You are so wrong.

Dumbledegs are awesome. They're the best. They're the greatest. I think you're thinking that they're slimy and weirdly temperature. Well, Jordan, I have to say, we actually have a broad divergence in our tastes. And I can tell you why I know this. Sure. We have an employee here at the office named Lindsay Pavlis.

Lindsay's the donor relations coordinator of MaximumFun.org. If you are a Maximum Fun donor and you've ever needed help, Lindsay probably was the person who helped you out. Lindsay is – she's also the star of Brian and Lindsay. We'll totally eat that alongside our producer, Brian. And Lindsay is a lovely human being, like one of the most lovely human beings that I know, inside and out, a golden-hearted young woman. She's also from Orlando.

Inside and out. A golden-hearted young woman. She's also from Orlando. And she eats only Orlando foods. What is even Orlando food? Is it just theme park food? Like a churro. Like churros? Yeah.

Like we live in this neighborhood where it is kind of difficult to eat at. Like it is very easy to get like chicharrones or pupusas or there's also some great pastrami here in this neighborhood, great Korean food in this neighborhood. Lindsay has somehow found a subway. I don't know where the subway is i don't know how she gets there but she eats she is focused in on subway sometimes she'll go into this mcdonald's mcdonald's on the other side of the park she'll bring back mcdonald's this mcdonald's is the shadiest place I've ever been. I went in there once to get a soft serve cone because I was like, you know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to get one of those dollar soft serve cones from McDonald's. Yeah, they're delightful. It's hot outside. I just got off the subway. I'm super roasting. I'm going to get myself some soft serve. I went in there. There was fully blood

on the floor that no one was cleaning up. Recent blood? L.A. McDonald's, I think, are just like that because there's one I live in, Little Armenia, and I have only been into that one once. It was when I was on my way to RuPaul's Drag Con, so I was wearing a shirt that looked like a bunch of pepperonis on a pizza and on the front said Pizza Slut in the Pizza Hut logo. Wait a minute. The minute. Janine, I need to interrogate you about your attire for DragCon.

I feel like this is the perfect thing. You're well known for your preference for menswear. Yes. You're wearing a necktie right now. Yes. You'll wear a bow. You're wearing a necktie right now. Yes. You'll wear a tweed blazer. Mm-hmm.

You are the woman I know in the world who most favors a tweed blazer. Yes. So how do you kick that up a notch? And how does pizza slut fit the bill? Well, what I did was the first day I went to DragCon, I wore a little short suit. And then I found- A suit with shorts? Yes.

Okay. Shorts and a blazer, button down, bow tie. That's pretty dope. It was fine. But by the end of the day, I got way too hot. So the second day I was like, let's just go totally cat. Let's go full pizza slut. Yeah, full on pizza slut.

Jorts. Flip flops. I just went so casual. And before we were on our way to DragCon, me and my friends were like, let's get some breakfast. I walked into this McDonald's, immediately realized that my pizza slut shirt was a huge mistake. Because everyone, it was a conversation piece in a restaurant full of people I never wanted to have a conversation with. Oh, yeah. Just a real have a conversation with. Oh boy. Yeah, just a real gaze aversion venue. Yeah.

Like one woman, very sweet, came up and talked to me and legit thought it was an official Pizza Hut campaign and asked me if I was from Pizza Hut. And then I... Going into rival chains.

Promising expanded slutty men. Everyone at McDonald's just has a McCunt shirt on. Oh, I would love to see that. Everyone at McDonald's just has a dick in their mouth. So, I mean, I guess there's something to, you know, that being in the spirit of drag a little bit is like kind of doing going, you know, outside your norm a little bit. If what you're wearing now is your norm. Yes. Maybe this flip flop wearing pizza slut is your drag character.

We should explain. It's her norm in the sense that she dresses like Norm. Sure. Boy, I would love to hear more about RuPaul's Drag Con. Oh, God. It was so great. I had some coworkers who went and was very jealous of all their Facebooking. Oh. I had a real FOMO, real fear of missing out.

That's what the kids call it when you get jealous of Instagram. I would do anything RuPaul told me to. Yeah. I met RuPaul once for whatever, an hour when he was on Bullseye. I would literally, from this point forward, I will do anything RuPaul tells me to yeah i met rupaul once for whatever an hour when he was on bullseye i would literally from this point forward i will do anything rupaul tells me to do forever like he is my ultimate like the two greatest the two people that have been on bullseye that have i have most been delighted to join their cult are rupaul and terry cruz terry cruz also is like such a clear vision for the world that I am so behind like

either one of those dudes if they were like okay move to my compound I'd be like I'm in. Yeah. So yeah tell me were you doing something for work there or was this a casual for fun? Pure fan. I am a huge fan of Drag Race.

So many great moments. I am a huge fan of Drag Race. So many great moments. I met Julie Newmar. She was a guest. Took a little photo with her. Thanks for everything. When I went, whoa, your thing is impressive. When I went, whoa, I was picturing downtown Julie Brown.

What? Equally impressive. Probably more impressive, but I just know that I would have gotten that stoked if you would have met downtown Julie Brown. Downtown Julie Brown? Yeah. That is also what I call my butt. Yeah. Downtown Julie Brown.

That was one of my first crushes, downtown Julie Brown on MTV. Yeah. The whole gang. The whole MTV gang. Tabitha Soren. Others. Julie. Kennedy.

Julie Newmar was my friend Raul's landlord. What? Yeah. He would just write a check to Julie Newmar was my friend Raul's landlord what yeah he would just write a check to Julie Newmar once a month that's so crazy

I told him he should check and see if she could cash a check just written to Catwoman yeah

probably can't no but she was great I walked up and this was when I was wearing my shorts suit so I was wearing my general gentleman attire.

And Julie, just very classic old Hollywood line, looked me up and down and said, I love your outfit. Is it your brother's? Like in a little wink of like, I can tell you're gay, but we don't speak of these things. And it was just like oh what a what a classy broad in the truest sense of the term you're like are you i love your outfit are you cat woman um what else did you uh what were the other drag con activities oh i mean a lot of it was uh waiting around to meet the queens. Sure.

My favorite one that I got to meet was Katya. And she was a hoot. She was like lifting fans up and humping them in the air. Like a very Kama Sutra-esque poses. Okay. Doing yoga on the table. So she can lift and hump at the same time. Well, this was like a very, very, very tiny Asian-American woman. She was like flipping into the air.

So, yeah. So, okay. So, wait. So, can you describe the lift and hump a little bit? I may be having a little trouble. The mechanics of it. It was like she, it was a woman who's maybe four foot four. Okay.

Very, very small. Very, very thin. And Katya just kind of lifted her. I think there was like a leg over katya like one leg over katya's shoulder and one kind of like cupped under her arm and then she was just kind of like holding her yeah yeah i'm like doing a pantomime yeah it's very clear yeah yeah um good work excellent work um and another great part uh I watched a panel with Kennedy Davenport, who was one of the queens. And I got there early.

And Kennedy from MTV. Sure. And Julie Brown. They were both there. But Kennedy Davenport was at the panel early as well and just ate a sandwich on stage and shot the shit for 30 minutes. Took a phone call from her mom and just, like, broke down, like, all. She was like, there was this guy from True Blood on the show, and he was a fucking idiot and just, like, let loose.

Whoa, told it like it was. Yeah, and that was fantastic. Hmm. Hmm. And were there, like, performances? Were there, like, was there a ball? Was there some sort of, yeah yeah was there an extravaganza i guess is what i wanted not really less extravaganza than i thought there would be

could you maybe just just as a sort of check-in type thing list a few types of realnesses you were sorry yeah yeah um oh god i was served some some Ganesh goddess realness. There was a drag queen dressed like the elephant god. A lot of... The term for women is underboob. I guess underbutt for guys. A lot of Daisy Dukes. Sure.

A lot of good butts. Gay men in LA have great butts. Yeah. Sure. That is... Yeah. You're right there.A. have great butts. Yeah. Sure. That is. Yeah. You're right there. We've seen the butts.

Yeah. Those butts make us feel bad. We feel bad about the butts. Like, personally, that you don't have that butt or that you're like, man, I wish I could be sexually into that butt specifically. Like, which side of the coin? Or is it a bit above? It's both sides. It's a melange.

It's a rich cornucopia of feelings. I think when you're a straight dude and you see a butt that's that on top of itself. Right. You know, on its game. Yes. Your first feeling is like, I'll never will I have a butt

like that. And then another feeling is like, hmm, I'm straight, right? Yeah. You do a kind of internal check-in. There's also a factor of like, well, I guess I'm straight. Even if I was gay, he would

never. Not in a fucking million years. You know that guy is too hot for you. Out of my league. That is upsetting. I'm maybe a five. Yeah. Maybe a five. Yeah, and that guy.

Anyway. That guy's got game. Dude's a fucking 10. Yeah. That guy's got game. Dude's been flipping a giant tire every day for two years. Just with his glutes. With his glutes, yeah.

Just flexing his butt cheeks and then a tire flips off of it. Yeah, exactly. Pure flexing. Yeah. Boy, that is some great kinds of realness. You know about the the realness that I am most interested in. And it's just from like a fixation since I saw Paris is burning when I was 12 or whatever. Executive realness. That's my top type of realness.

It's it's in a It's in a ball. You know, they have different kinds of, you know, some people are like, oh, who can look like the most beautiful, most elegant lady? Right. But then there's other shit going down. One of them is executive realness, which is these drag queens whose thing specifically is to, like, I'm sure they have other things that they do. is to like they i'm sure they have other things that they do but like the executive realness is want to look like a business suit yeah like uh like a power suit yeah and like a you know what like an attache case and like striding purposefully yeah like who can and they do it in like it's sort of like uh it is both the most sincere, most absurd, most arch thing you could ever see in your life.

It's not purely like who can look – because it's not about who can look the most like a straight business dude. It's like who can look like a super straight business dude. Yeah. And they – oh, that documentary is so great. They put it so eloquently where they had executive realness. They had military realness. And it was sort of saying like we do these hyper-masculine things and try to act as though we could pass because we want acceptance from these communities that are so far away from us and so out of reach. Yeah.

Oh. OK. So speaking of communities that are so far out of reach, Lindsay Pavlis is from Orlando. And she heard our show last week where Stereos Coconose ate the entire Slamtastic 4 menu from Denny's live on the telephone from Long Island, which is the worst thing that anyone's ever done on our show. So just like a lot of like slopping sounds? He was pretty polite about not chewing into the phone.

These were like periodic check-ins. Okay, alright, just describing the hell he was going through. There's a breakfast slam. There's a burger. There's a shake. For your benefit, this is to celebrate the upcoming Fantastic Four movie. This is a tie-in menu. By the way, someone on the blog asked, you know, there's been a lot of fast food talk on Max Fun Shows lately.

They must really be getting their palms greased. Okay. I'll clarify that point. You know that bonus episode of My Brother, My Brother and Me that was presented by Totino's? That was presented by Totino's. Remember that time that we talked about what a nightmare it is that Denny's has a slam And made a lot of diarrhea and heart attack jokes? Yeah, that was not sponsored by Denny's.

Continues to not be sponsored by Denny's. So anyway. If Denny's would like to sponsor, I mean, I'll take it. I like that Thing Burger a lot. I mean, I will take back my previous diarrhea jokes if Denny's wants to slide a little. Here's where our paths diverge. And I don't know which one of us is taking the path less traveled, but we'll find out from their listener feedback after this.

But Lindsay declared, you know, they have a tradition here at the office, which is Egg Cream Fridays. They go to Langer's Delicatessen, which is across the park, and get egg creams because I'm often not in the office on Fridays. I was in the office this Friday, but they had already declared, Lindsay had unilaterally declared Denny's Friday. So the whole office was going to go to Denny's together. And, you know, for the sake of esprit de corps, I thought, I'll go to Denny's with everybody.

You know, I'll buy lunch for everybody because I'm the boss, you know. And, you know, I'll get something from the Slamtastic 4 menu. Because you, Jordan, had recommended to me the Thing Burger. Yeah. I wasn't recommending it to you. I was recommending it to others. But yeah. And I probably should have said, Jesse, go nowhere near Denny's or any similar restaurant because you will hate it and complain.

Yeah. I'll be the caveat. When I recommend something on the show, I'll say, for general populace, yes. For Jesse, no. Go home and eat a Crickets or something.

What makes it a Thing Burger? Is it just like misshapen? The patty? Thing sauce. I don't think mine had thing sauce on it. Oh, yeah. It's like a spicy mayonnaise.

didn't have thing sauce. Mm-hmm. That's one concern I have. Yeah. I will tell you, I have never had so many calories that tasted like so little. It also sort of looks like the thing. Lindsay identified that it looks a little bit like the thing. It has a craggy, kind of rock-like.

Bun? It has a cheesy bun that just tastes like a bun. Now, this is my experience. Jordan may have a different experience. But my experience was it has a cheesy bun that doesn't taste like cheese. It has a thing sauce, which I could not detect. You said it was kicky. Yeah, like a spicy mayo.

I think I might have not gotten anything. They might have just left it off. Was your Denny's a McDonald's grade Denny's? Like, are they not keeping up with the rest of the franchise? No, this was a Denny's level Denny's. This was a standard Denny's? Like, are they not keeping up with the rest of the franchise? No, this was a Denny's level Denny's. This was a standard Denny's. This was a, you know, a genial kind of sadness. You know what I mean?

Like an upbeat sadness. If you go to Denny's, I think if you go to Denny's when it's pancake time or like when it's the only thing open, those are your ideal times to go to Denny's. Yeah, I mean Denny's is at its peak when drunk and three. Yeah. Yes. These are – Yeah.

Eating a normal human lunch at Denny's is a real questionable decision because you're spending $12 for something from Denny's. Yes. Not as cheap as you'd like it to be. There's a fried egg, although they offered to cook the egg any way I wanted. Yeah. I wonder who is getting scrambled eggs on that. That's what I was wondering.

I almost ordered a scrambled egg just because they asked me how I wanted mine. I'm like, I guess sunny side up. What do you mean? However you do it guess sunny side up. I don't know. What do you mean? However you do it on a thing burger. Yeah. I don't know about thing burgers. How does Ben Grimm like it? Yeah, the bacon tastes like bacon.

I would say that was the highlight. Sure. Medium well is the least they're willing to cook the burger, which is one step less than well to its credit. Right. Because I did not know that they weren than well to its credit. Like I, because I did not know that they weren't willing to like change it. So I asked for medium rare and they're like,

we can do medium well. What is that meat like? Well, they both have medium in them. You know, but I mean like that, they're not willing to show any rawness whatsoever. They're like, well,

this is gray the entire time. The real problem with it. This can kill you. It's like slicing a blowfish for a sushi chef. If Denny's meat is not cooked exactly, you will be poisoned. I think the problem with the medium well at Denny's thing is it is like an inch thick burger. medium well at Denny's thing is it is like an inch thick burger. So like, you know, if you get like a fast food burger, especially like a good one, like an In-N-Out or something like that, you know, that's like half an inch thick.

So it's like the part of the big part of is like the crispiness on the outside. And then, you know, it doesn't really you don't really have to have a rare center to have that. Right. But the thing burger is just a wall of dryness. I really – do you know how many calories are in the Thing Burger? It's like 1,200 or something, right? 1,900.

Oh, my. 1,900. I ate – like I'm definitely a heavy food eater. I ate two-thirds of it and two fries. I felt sick all day. Oh, God. I really felt sick. But I did imagine there's also hash browns on the burger in addition to the bacon and the egg.

I can imagine that if I – I really think they left off the thing sauce because there was no note of spiciness. Yeah, yeah. In fact, the distinguishing thing about the burger again was a total absence of flavor like it tasted fatty which is not unpleasant um but yeah it did not taste like anything um but yeah i think maybe they i think maybe they left off the thing sauce at which point why is it even a thing burger? Sure. It's just a pile of stuffed burger. Yeah, so that was my experience going to that. Yeah. You're on notice, Denny's.

It's chicken fingers for me next time. Can't fuck up chicken fingers. I always like chicken fingers. I find I do that. You ate two-thirds of it. That's commendable. Yeah. A lot of times I will eat something I don't enjoy just because it's there.

Yeah. It is weird to be done with something and everybody else is eating. Yes. You feel like you want to continue eating. Oh, yeah. That is my instinct, too. And I find something I've done to combat that. Because that was my case at Denny's.

I was finished. Other people were still eating. And I was cautious about finishing the Thing burger. Probably not a good idea. I enjoyed mine a lot, but I'm like, I shouldn't eat this whole thing. So what I like to do in that situation is just pile any refuse I can on my plate and push it to the middle of the table. Like every napkin I've used, I throw on the plate.

The knife and fork I've been using, shove it to the middle. And then I'm like, oh, if I eat this now, I look like a raccoon, like pawing into garbage. I don't even remember who I was out having lunch with, but I think this is an LA-specific thing, because I've never seen it before. The woman I was having lunch with, after she was done, poured water on the rest of her food so that it was so wet she could no longer. Oh, that's an extreme version. Yeah.

But I was very upset because I wanted to finish her food. I don't think that's a local tradition. I have never. I definitely ate all at lunch today at the Salvadoran restaurant I went to. I definitely ate all the food that was in front of me, then ate the last of the guacamole that was in the guacamole bowl, and then started eating food off of my wife's plate. Like I will eat food as long as there is food before me.

The fact that I managed to not eat roughly one-third of that thing burger is like one of my greatest accomplishments. I like food just keeps I like french fries. I don't really like french fries. Why? I know. I don't hate french fries or whatever but I just they're not that good to me.

I really like onion rings. I'm super into onion rings. I'm not into french fries but like french fries are so banal that you can just keep eating them indefinitely. And so the idea that I should stop myself from eating French fries is real hard. Because, like, you know, French fries are pretty bad for you. And if you like them, it's probably worth it. But if you don't like them, it's definitely not worth it.

No reason to. Have a milkshake. I love milkshakes. Yeah, maybe this lunch partner of yours was on to something. Just fucking demolish the plate in some way. I found it so upsetting, though. She said she learned it from the Kardashians that apparently they if you watch closely and they're sitting around, one of them will pour water on their food. Wow.

Why they have such elegant buttocks. Yes. They have gay man level buttocks, I would say. Sure. But not Diplodocus level. No. Those are some. Diplodocus.

Yeah. Oof. What's your preferred? Jordan, you're a dinosaur expert. What's your preferred pronunciation of Diplodocus? You know. Diplodocus or Diplodocus? It's to you.

I'm not going to be one of these dinosaur pedants. I mean, sure, I corrected you when you said a Quetzalcoatlus was a dinosaur and not a pterosaur. But I think I was pretty nice about it. You were just protecting me. Against a flood of. It was as though I had appeared in your Mission Impossible film. You were protecting me against the nerd war. Exactly.

Like Sony will protect. Yes, Simon Pegg. Yeah. Yeah. Say it however. Diplodocus. I say Di diplodocus i say diplodocus more fun diplodocus yeah it's like clitoris sure i say clitoris like is there a second pronunciation of clitoris that i don't know clitoris okay yeah yeah yeah so like i think clitoris i was thinking clitoris that's not even fit it's like clitoris um i think uh clitoris that's a situation where if you're trying to have a sincere conversation maybe it's better to say clitoris uh but if you're

enjoying yourself there's no doubt that the preferred pronunciation is clitoris. Are you saying, say, clitoris in a sexual state? No. No, no, no. Okay. Like a formal versus informal? Clitoris. Saying clitoris in a sexual situation could destroy the sexual situation. Sure, yeah.

Too clinical. Yeah. You just want to go with the short clit. You say girl wang. Lady wang. Girl shaft. Lady Wang. Girl Shaft. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Hello, I'm Taco, the elephant magician.

Merle Highchurch here, the master of clerical magic. I'm Magnus Burnside, the fighter. Did you guys like that? Did you, the listener, like that? You were just swept up in a world of high fantasy and magic where anything can happen and anything is possible. Hi, I'm Griffin McElroy, Dungeon Master for the Adventure Zone,

a new podcast on Maximum Fun in which magic and mystery intertwine for a very erotically charged role-playing experience. You can catch it every other Thursday here on MaximumFun.org or iTunes. It's for Dungeons & Dragons, but with family. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Hey. No, that's giving me an anxiety attack. Man, I was talking to our old buddy Mike Mitchell from the Birthday Boys last night. 42,000 unread emails.

Oh, God. Refuses. Fucking refuses to delete them. Once you reach 20,000, I feel like, what's the point? How do you sleep? You don't feel like there's bugs on you all the time? Hey, you know what? You do you.

It's your journey and I'm very brave. Hey, we do have some information here about a message up on our Jumbotron. Hey. It's from a website called Cultural Gutter. Since 2003, the Cultural Gutter has been providing thoughtful and provocative writing on disreputable art. Weekly, one of the gutter's editors or guest stars gives a thoughtful take on comics, romance, genre movies, TV, science fiction, fantasy, video games, or porn. Our Indiegogo campaign helps us keep our commitment to paying writers for their work. You can go to culturalgutter.com to find more information about that.

You can go to indiegogo.com slash projects slash gutterthon hyphen 2015. Yeah. Cultural Gutter. Jordan, Jesse, go listeners. A website that pays writers. That's a nice idea. A novelty idea. And if you want to get up on the Jumbotron, go to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron.

A great way to celebrate a special day or plug your thing or what have you. If you want to sponsor Jordan Jessico, like for real, like put together a campaign. Sure. Email Teresa at MaximumFun.org, T-H-E-R-E-S-A at MaximumFun.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. It's Jordan, Jessica. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morse, boy detective. Janine Brito, clitosaurus.

Clitosaurus? Clitosaurus. That's cool. Yeah. That's fun. It's the most hard to find dinosaur. Whoa. Oh, man.

Jordan, you making that fart noise reminds me that this morning I was having a— I farted. Anyway, moving on. This morning, or actually midday today, a couple of hours ago, at the Salvadorian restaurant in question, Las Casuelas, my son Simon was being awful. He was just causing all kinds of trouble. He had taken off his shoes and his socks. It's like trying to climb out of the bench of the, you know, the booth bench, you know, of the restaurant. Just completely being bonkers. And I was really upset with him.

And then he was acting crazy when I was taking him back to the car. And then he hit me and with his brass knuckles? yeah and I put him in his car booster seat and turned on the car and he's like yelling and stuff and then

he stopped yelling for a moment and I just hear and he it was an anger fart. He had a rage fart, a tantrum fart. Wow. It was great. It made me love him again.

You know what? I hadn't lost all my love for him, to be clear, but it made me regain that portion, which had been tested by this hour of him complaining while I was trying to eat my paloozas. So God bless him. Yeah. And God bless that fat one that he ripped.

The terror toot. Exactly. Hey, it's summer. Yeah. It's the perfect time to be a summer boy. It's the summer of summer boy. We've been taking your calls on your summer boy achievements all summer long. I will say I have been really happy with summer boy as our kind of, you know, motto, mantra, mantle. Well, you expressed some qualms last week.

Oh, I was saying I think it was the quality of the calls we were getting. But I'm just saying as far as calls goes, I want to ramp it up. I want this to be something that ascends to great heights I just don't want it to get stagnant but I think what I was going to say was that Summer Boy's pretty good and ain't no pizza slut

kind of all about pizza slut now anyway so I'm torn I am a pizza slut I fucked up some pizza slut now. Anyway, so I'm torn. I'm torn. I am a pizza slut. Yeah. I fucked up some pizza while my stomach was still hurting from that thing burger. Like my stomach was all upset and fucked up. And you're like double down, belly.

All my insides were all a mess. I'll show you who's boss. And my wife said, can we get pizza tonight? And immediately I was just like, yeah. I subscribe to four pizza emails. What do you get in a pizza email? It's just like one of those membership clubs. And I just get, I'm doing the full, like the Pizza Hut, Papa John's, Donald's, Little Caesars.

And I just get like, today, two for ones, three medium topping pizzas, $5 each, and my phone is constantly blowing up with pizza deals. I'm not mad about it. What's your chain pizza of choice? Chain pizza of choice, I am- Not an artisanal pizza like a Papa John's. No, not a fancy stuffed crust. Papa John's newsletter, by

the way, like, sure, there's pizza deals in there, but there's also, like, useful, like, male plastic surgery tips. Yeah. Ways to get out of giving your employees health care. Reasons abortion is bad. Oh, God, that guy. He is. He's from Louisville.

Oh, really? yeah uh i wouldn't wouldn't have guessed i would say my guess was paris because he clearly spent a lot of time in various salons uh okay sorry oh no no uh dominoes domino? Is it because of the pizza tracker? Yes. Yeah. I love that pizza tracker. I like knowing the status of its arrival. That's like an Uber GPS type thing for your pizza.

Yeah. It shows you what state. I will say that I definitely do not like Domino's. It was not our pizza thing growing up, so I don't have a- They changed their recipe. I've heard that. I'm curious to try it now that they're apparently on a, you know, they're on the mend. Yes.

I definitely get why the pizza tracker is hypnotic. Oh, it is. It's like I get ASMR when I look at that pizza tracker. I'm like, oh, I know what it's like to just fucking stare and zone out. Because there's a little cartoon man. Sure. There's an icon and you see him massaging your dough and throw it on the toppings. It is very like, oh, you feel like you're there with them.

You get closer with your imaginary pizza maker. Yeah. Anyway, what are we talking about? Summer boys. Summer boys, yeah. Pizza slut. Summer boy. Let's hear it from our first summer boy.

This is Alec from Vermont. Just calling to tell you about my summer boy Saturday. Went out to Lake Champlain, hanging out on my friend's house on the lake, grilled some burgers, some dogs. Then I borrowed a seaplane, flew around for a while with my arm hanging out the window, going in the sunshine, and gave some rides. And then we tried to throw grapefruits out of the airplane at a giant buoy. And that was it. Yeah, that's pretty good. Oh, man. Everybody's having a better summer than me.

Shit, dude. You don't even have a grapefruit. Or a seaplane. I've never been in a seaplane. Plus, there's so many grapefruits that you have excess grapefruits to throw at buoys out of your seaplane. Yeah, this is good. This feels like next level to me.

Yeah. This feels like kind of what I'm looking for. It involves a novel kind of transportation and mindless destruction. That's some like Senator Sun stuff right there. You're right. I won't get in trouble. The cops know who my father is. Exactly.

Do you know who my father is? My father is Olympia Snow. Lady Senator. Yeah. That's terrific. I want to hear... I'm not 100% certain what a hurdy-gurdy is, but I think it would probably make a good summer boy call

if someone got their hands on a hurdy-gurdy. I have no idea what it is. What is that? I know it's part of a Donovan song, but I assume it was some sort of drug monster. It's either that thing that's like an accordion, but you just use it's like hand sized. That might be a hurdy-gurdy. That's not what that song evokes, though.

It might be some kind of crank organ that a monkey plays. It might be whatever Julian's trying to show me on like a two inch by two inch photograph on his phone. Okay. It's just a fact. It's an elderly Renaissance fair enthusiast. Oh, it's like a Craig, like a loot with a crank.

Yeah. Anyway, like a crankable loot. When you say a loot with a crank, you're talking about sting. Oh yeah. Yeah. Here's a crank that plays.

Crank steam. Yeah. Sting? Oh, yeah. He has a crank that plays the role of the famous crank, Sting. Yeah, the joke would have made more sense if Sting was like a famous for being a crank. Famously cranky. Yeah, sure. If it was Jeremy Piven or something like that. Not famous for being chill. Yeah. Let's hear from another summer boy.

Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. This is Allie from Cincinnati. I'm calling with my summer boy moment. I went to a friend's farm where they raise pigs and decided that my thing to do was to ride the pigs. So I hopped on one pig and rode it like a bull for about three seconds before it threw me off. So that's my summer boy moment. Thanks. I like this too. Here's a real solid moment in that call to me. I decided that my thing to do was to ride the pig. Yeah.

It could be dangerous for the pigs. It might be illegal. Yeah. Could be dangerous for her.. It might be illegal. Yeah. Could be dangerous for her. If a pig stepped on you, you get fucked up. Pigs are vicious. Teeth? Yeah.

Pigs are nasty beasts. They will eat each other. Yeah. If a pig dies in the pen, they'll all cannibalize it. They're real dangerous. Yeah, I do like that she set out. She was like, this is going to be the thing I'm known for. I'm going to be pig rider.

She might have gotten to the farm. There was a guidance counselor at the farm. She said, I need to know what my thing to do is. And he somehow led her to pig riding. You'll ride the pig. That's how you get into pig riding. It's an underbelly. By the way.

It's like Fight Club. Don't talk about pig ride. Speaking of barnyards, have I mentioned that donks are out and baby goats are in? We've talked about baby goats before. I don't know if you've explicitly said that they're replacing donks as your favorite barnyard animal, but I'm with you, man. If you want to go there, I'm along for the ride. Like donks are still cool and everything. Sure.

I'm not going to turn against donks. No, you're not a monster. But mini goats and baby goats is a new shit. Hey, it's cool, man. The other new shit is, like, there's three bunny rabbits at my son Simon's preschool. And they have a little runaround area, you know? Yeah, yeah. It was kind of hot the other day.

And usually when it's hot, they dig a hole and kind of get in the hole. Love it. the other day. And usually when it's hot, they dig a hole and kind of get in the hole. Love it. But today, it was just three rabbits

lying on top of each other. Nice. That was pretty good. Nice. I got no complaints about that, guys. All right. Zero.

Zero is the number of complaints I have about that. If you have a summer boy moment for us or something momentous happens to you, call us 206-984-4FUN. call us 206-984-4FUN. That's 206-984-4FUN.

I feel like we're, and I know this is probably an off-air conversation to have because it's a logistical thing, but I feel like we've been doing this summer boy thing and it's been going great and summer is drawing to a close.

What can we do to cap it off? Do we want to crown a ultimate summer boy? I i mean that would maybe go back and that would involve going back and listening to our calls that we've got so far and i'm fucking not gonna do that yeah i mean we might be able to make brian do that but maybe brian will pay him that much yeah well what do you i guess let's open it up number one the ultimate summer boy's title is queen queen summer boy Boy. Sure, yeah. I like, yeah, because we have been confusing people with the gender of it. Yeah.

Yeah. Just spell it B-O-I. Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. And Queen, K-W-E-N. Yas, Queen, work. Summer Boy. B-O-I.

Yeah, the Queen Summer Boy. Are you worried that they might confuse the summer boy for a skater boy? It's a concern. Anyway. Yes, it is. All right. Sorry. So skater boy. It's a concern. Anyway. It is. All right. Sorry. So, yeah, we could crown a queen.

Yeah. I kind of like that idea. Yeah. Maybe that, okay. Is there anything else we could do? I don't know. We could eat a hot dog while we do the show. But I guess I just feel like this needs a cap.

It needs a denouement. A pièce de résistance, a deus ex machina. We need God to come down and affect things somehow. And loco parentis. Sure. A crazy dad. You know what that is? That's my role on the show.

Yeah, crazy dad. Crazy dad. Well, we role on the show. Yeah. Crazy dad. Crazy dad. Well, we'll think about it. If you've got ideas. Let's start with some suggestions. How can we put a cap on this? What do you want out of the summer? Go on our Facebook page and in the Reddit group and share. You know, that's MaximumFun.Reddit.com and search for Jordan Justego on Facebook.

on reddit.com in search for Jordan Yeseo on Facebook we need to know your ideas for what what is the perfect cap to what I think we can agree has been the perfect summer I'm sure I feel like they should be awarded a pair of uh summer boy water wings so they don't drown so they don't and they can take a photo of themselves chilling in the water when I like that put it on the site or they could just wear the water wings as a crown. Yep. Okay. Well, if you have ideas, let us know.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Janine Brito,

still girl shaft. Hey, guess what? You can still buy tickets to see us in Portland, Oregon with Throwing Shade in a couple of months. It's going to be a fun show. Go to, boy detective. Janine Brito, still girl shaft. Hey, guess what? You can still buy tickets to see us in Portland, Oregon with Throwing Shade in a couple of months. It's going to be a fun show. Go to MaximumFun.org. You can find the ticket link there. That is going to be a real fucking blast. Yeah. That's two of the funniest

human beings on Earth right there. Looking forward to it. Plus, two dudes. Yeah. Plus these two guys. Whatever we have to offer. Sure. The answer? Not as much. Suggesting what about, I mean, Aaron O'Brien couldn't come up with anything as good as someone wearing a water wing on their head as a crowd.

We didn't come up with that, though. You want to fill in for us in Portland? Sure. I love Portland. Yeah, I was in Portland last week. Was it good? Are they ready for us? They are. Is everyone talking about it? They are. They made me cut up a bunch of confetti for a ticker tape parade.

We're the new Portlandians. So we're going to ride in a Cadillac while the people of Portland throw a ticker tape at us. Yes. That's going to be great. It'll be real fun. You know what? They don't need confetti for their ticker tape parades. They've already got like some kind of retro ticker tape thing going on.

Just fall leaves that they've collected. It would be very organic. I'm talking about regular people in Portland next to their turntable have a ticker tape machine. They just collect it. Giving them stock quotes. Sure. Yeah. That would be the – that's like the fucking ultimate like anachronistic old time house furnishing is like a stock ticker.

That would be, that would be pretty, pretty insane. That's a pretty serious piece of furniture, too. Oh, yeah. You know what I tried to buy? I tried to buy one of those things that you put a quarter in and you can use it as binoculars. Oh, sure, yeah. You know how much those fucking things cost? Like $5,000.

Whoa. Yeah. They are real expensive. Wait, just to have in your house? No, to have in my office so I can spy on people $5,000. Whoa. They are real expensive. Wait, just to have in your house? No, to have in my office so I can spy on people. Okay. I was like, that is... I ended up just buying regular binoculars, but it would have been more

fun if it was the kind that you put a quarter in and I'd have made some money on the side. Yeah. It pays for itself. I know you also have a little rocket ship, too. Are you just buying things to get quarters from your guests as they come by the... Yeah, I'm riding like a coin-op thing. Have you thought about getting just a lethal enforcers machine? Yeah, I probably should get that.

People love lethal enforcers. I got one of those kind of generic snack machines. Oh, yeah? But I put Flamin' Hot Cheetos in there, so that's going pretty good. Sure. And Takis. Mm-hmm. Flamin' Hot and Takis.

My staff is just super into cheesy, spicy things. Hmm. So Flamin' Hot and Santakis. My staff is just super into cheesy, spicy things. So Flamin' Hot, Santakis, and those wagon wheel shaped corn snacks. Yeah, sure. You know what I'm talking about. Oh, yeah. Put some hot sauce on there. Okay. Janine Brito's on Twitter.

At Janine Brito. Yep, that's me. J-A-N-I-N-E-B-R-I-T-O. That's it. Fucking good for me. Yeah. You know what's me. J-A-N-I-N-E-B-R-I-T-O. That's it. Fucking good for me. Yeah. You know what? Congratulations.

First time, yes. Next week's show is a tribute to me spelling Janine Brito's name correctly on the first try. Get you water wings. Out loud while not looking at anything that said how her name is spelled. How do we watch this BuzzFeed's television program you're on? I don't know how. I think you just go on. HuffingtonPost.com.

Yes. And then go to your Yahoo. Google it in your Yahoo. I think you just go to the site. It's not in its own subheading. I think maybe if you search my name on there, it'll bring those videos up.

Great. Yep. Sounds dope. Me too. I also think it's dope. It'll also probably have a list of the top 11 Janine videos up. Great. Yep. Sounds dope. Me too. I also think it's dope. It also probably have a list of the top 11 Janine burritos. Yeah. Top 10 times.

Janine burrito. Couldn't even, couldn't even Janine burrito any longer. Top eight Janine burritos for eighties kids. Yeah. Uh, Janine, it's been a delight.

Thank you so much for taking the time to come here and be with us. If you ever get the chance to see Janine burrito do stand-up comedy, it's a real joy. It's a lot of fun. You're going to enjoy that. Whether you're at Rooster Teeth Feathers in Sunnyvale, California, or at Go Bananas in Cincinnati, Ohio. Whether you're a summer boy or a pizza slut. Everybody. Everybody.

Everybody loves it. Pizza boy. Summer slut. Summer slut. I want those stories. Yeah. Let's hear about the time you were a pizza boy. I want those stories. Yeah. Let's hear about the time you were a pizza boy. I know that's a job.

Anyway. Julian Burrell on the boards this week. Brian Fernandez from sunny old England cutting the program. He's our producer. You can join us on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com. You can join us on Facebook. Just search for Jordan Jesse Go. You can join us on Twitter with the hashtag

JJGo. Hey, we have two great new MaxFun shows. Number one is called We Got This. It's two very funny alums of the Thrilling Adventure Hour who pick a hot topic every week and figure out which is better. So this week's

show is showers or baths. I also heard gas or charcoal. Okay. A lot of fun questions, you know, hamburger or hot dog. A lot of fun questions

being determined forever correctly on We Got This. I am also so excited about this new show called Can I Pet Your Dog?

Past Jordan Jesse, go guest Allegra Ringo, one of the hosts of this program. Oh, she's great. Both of the hosts of this program are just delightful. It is a very dumb show about dogs. The whole show is about dogs. Like, I want to be clear. This is a show about dogs. There's a dog news segment.

There's a celebrity dog segment. There's a dog I met this week segment. There's a dog news segment. There's a celebrity dog segment. There's a dog I met this week segment. There's a celebrities with dogs segment. There's a how to train your dog segment. This is a dog omnibus, a canine omnibus. This week's episode, Lin-Manuel Miranda, the creator of the Broadway-changing smash hit show Hamilton. the creator of the Broadway-changing smash hit show Hamilton. Mm-hmm.

Cover boy of the New York Times Magazine recently, if I'm not mistaken. Legit genius and Max Funster. There you go. Longtime Max Funbooster, Lin-Manuel. So, yeah, so check out those two new shows. Give them a listen. I am so excited about them. I think if you like Jordan Jesse Go, you will probably enjoy them. So give them a listen. That's it. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse go.

Maximumfund.org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported.