Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 390: Headache in a Bottle with Nick Wiger and Vanessa Ramos

Episode Date: August 17, 2015

Nick Wiger and Vanessa Ramos join Jordan for a discussion of local TV commericals, extreme opinions on the internet, and first alcholic drinks.  Plus, Jordan brings in a Fiesta Box of malt beverages for everyone to taste and rate. 

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh, I'm Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. Jesse Thorne on a family vacation this weekend, but never fear, a show is still coming your way. I've got two amazing co-hosts slash guests slash pals with me in the studio. First, a returning guest who people really enjoyed on her first outing, and I think her second is going to be even better. A comic, a writer for television, the upcoming NBC Superstore, Vanessa Ramos. Thanks for having me back, half of Jordan Jesse Go.

Yeah. This episode will be half as good. No, I think it'll be, you know what? I think we should shoot for three-fourths as good as a regular Jordan Jesse Go episode. I can aspire to that, yeah. Yeah, believe in us. And a first-time guest, somebody we've been wanting to get on the show, and thankfully had the chance to do it this week.

One of my co-workers on the At Midnight program and the host of the terrific podcast, the terrific new podcast that you really should be listening to. Doughboys, Nick Weiger. Hi, Jordan. Hi, Vanessa. Glad to be here. Yeah. Hi. Good. That was a great professional hello. You know, that's what I bring to the table. I'll give a greeting that sounds like it belongs on something that's recorded.

Sure. Well, that's all we can hope for. Nick, I genuinely am enjoying your podcast, Doughboys. It's a podcast about chain restaurants. Yes. Every week you and your co-host, Mike Mitchell, go to a chain restaurant with a different comedian and give a pretty thorough, earnest review of that chain restaurant. Yeah, I'd say, you know, I feel like the earnestness is part of it. And that's part of why we wanted to do this show is that this is something that Mike Mitchell, Mitch, and I both, like, care about for whatever dumb reason.

Like, it's like we didn't want to be like, ah, we're going to fucking shit on Long John Silver's. We're going to show these assholes, like we show the fucking hayseeds we did this restaurant. They're a bunch of pieces of shit. We were, we were sort of like, oh, we want to go to these places and try to appreciate what they're doing. And a lot of the times, you know, you were on our episode or TGI Friday's episode, which was a lot of fun. Um, I thought. I feel like we had a really great experience there. I feel like we went there and we had a nice meal and we had a good time. Yeah, the TGI Fridays was a lot of fun. They had, I think my main disappointment looking back is that on the TGI Fridays website, they were advertising Diddy-approved Ciroc cocktails.

Yes. I think one was called the Diddy Up that I was looking forward to getting. And when we got there, the Ciroc cocktails were not on the menu. So I'm still a little bit mad about that. But I did like that they had a big Instagram frame that we could hold up and take our picture in. Yeah, we actually posted that picture on the Doughboys Twitter account. And it's weird because they have like this thing.

I don't know if it's specific to this TGI Fridays or it's all TGI Fridays locations, but it's like a frame that looks like the Instagram framing of photographs you'll see when you're looking at something in the app. So you hold it up and then they take a picture of it and then you put it on Instagram. So it's like your Instagram has an extra physical Instagram frame inside the photo itself. I think like all corporate social media promotions, it has a fundamental misunderstanding of social media. Like this is the thing you don't need to provide. Like I could see providing a fun background or something.

Like it would be like if you also like they gave you hashtags or something like that to hold up yeah um uh but yeah still a lot of i you know that's funny i i had been on a kind of self-imposed kfc ban uh because i hated their commercials so much gotcha uh and it's not something i would eat regularly but definitely i do enjoy k KFC from time to time. I really like the coleslaw. I think that the coleslaw is something that is pretty underrated about there. But they had a campaign for a while that was just hip, racially ambiguous teens goofing around in a KFC, and you're supposed to think it was like a vine. Oh, yeah.

It was shot as if the guy filming it was the guy in the commercial. Like it was like you could see like his arm extending to the lens. Yeah. Is that what I'm thinking of? Yes. Yeah, yeah. And then it would end with them like holding chicken and doing a dance. And for some reason that was so insulting to me that I that even when

I was craving KFC, I wouldn't go. Well, it's kind of that abrasive sort of jump cutty style that you'll see in like a vlog that is that you see online. You're just like, oh, this is awful. I don't want to see that. And then it was you were watching the NBA game. It would throw to this commercial and you were suddenly confronted with this. And then it was also branded. So I think it was like this extra level of intolerable. Sure and and i think just like if you look at vines like if you look at the vines that these are trying to replicate like at some point in the thing like the guys should yell if they're trying to be authentic like the guys should be like dancing around with their drumsticks and then just yell you a fat bitch and slap someone in the face because that's how awful

those things are. Yeah. And to like do a, you know, to do a clean one of those that can play during a, you know, NBA game in the afternoon is, I think an insult to the fine Vine stars that work hard to tell everyone that they're a fat bitch. It's doing the media a disservice. Yeah, I think. Yeah, I think so.

This Vine feels inauthentic because it doesn't have a frat guy doing a gay character that would have been offensive in 1995. Right. That would make the producers of Mad TV

say, that's a little much. Oh, yeah. So, Vanessa, you are from the south. Texas? Yes. San Antonio? San Antonio, Vanessa, you are from the south. Texas? San Antonio?

San Antonio, Texas. San Antone? Would you say San Antone? I wouldn't, but I'd be okay with you saying it. Okay. Were there any indigenous chain restaurants down there that you don't have up here? Taco Cabana. Taco Cabana. So Taco Cabana is like, I mean, the closest thing you can say it's like Taco Bell, but it's on a whole nother level than Taco Bell.

Like they, Taco Cabana is pretty solid. Like you can get, I think the drive-thru stays open till like two, but you could get Mexican food that's better than 80% of what's in Los Angeles. And it's fantastic. Really? Yeah. There's breakfast tacos. There's like any kind of taco you can imagine. I think there was even dessert tacos at some point that were like churro based. But you could all like they had filling that was I want to say like cream cheese ish.

I mean, they do various desserts that come and go with the promotions and whatnot. Sure. But yeah, Taco Cabana was I in fact, Taco, we had Taco Bell and I never, I've never eaten Taco Bell because Taco Cabana was always an option. And then I moved out here and I'm just like, you know what? I'd rather have nothing. Sure. And now you survive off a, off a glucose stream.

Oh yeah. It's just a, it's just a pleasureless glucose drip that you have going into your vein at all times. You know, the way I figure it, if you're not going to do it pleasureless, why bother? Sure. Yeah, right? Now, this is a fast food Mexican thing that comes up when people move from L.A. Do you have an opinion on Del Taco v. Taco Bell?

I've only had Del Taco like once. I kind of don't eat a ton of Mexican food here. I'm trying to think what's the one. Like there used to be a place in Burbank that was just like the menu was all in pictures and it was me and 50 landscapers. Sure. That was kind of my jam for a while. And I was like, OK, I'm going to like really earn some enchiladas. Sure.

Like, okay, I'm going to really earn some enchiladas. Sure. So Taco Cabana, I assume, as opposed to a Del Taco, which I love, or a Taco Bell, which I'm okay with, it sounds like it's a little bit more authentic versus Taco Bell and Del Taco, which I feel like are kind of like an artist's rendering of Mexican food. They're kind of like if someone heard what a taco was and then told it to someone else on the phone. Right. And then had someone's aunt paint it. Yeah.

And then they're like, oh, we should put some version of King Kong in front of this. Yeah. So it's kind of like, but I feel Taco Cabana is more, it's like authentic-ish. I mean, it's Tex-Mex. Sure. Like they use, because I feel like authentic kind of uses the white, like, Oaxaca cheese. And Tex-Mex will, you know, use cheddar and, like, Monterey Jack and a mix of that. But, yeah, Taco Cabana.

The other amazing thing about Taco Cabana is they would always hire one of the Spurs to do their commercials. Oh, great. And, yeah, Sean Elliott is not an actor. is not an actor. Turns out. But he was kind of the best option at the time because like there was a time where the San Antonio Spurs,

I guess more than half of them were from another country. So you had like Manu Ginobili trying to sell. He's like, with high speed internet, like what is he talking about? He was trying to sell

you Time Warner cable. And then most of them would end with a version of like, you know, with Ancira Chevrolet and the San Antonio Spurs getting into a new truck is a slam dunk. So, yeah, Taco Cabana could always kind of use one of the NBA players to sell their tacos

and people didn't care that they didn't know what was happening. I'm a big NBA fan, so I'll get the NBA League Pass, which lets you watch, you know, the games from around the country. League Pass, which lets you watch, you know, the games from around the country. And one thing I appreciate beyond the, you know, local streams and just getting to see all these games and, you know, getting to hear the local announcers who are sometimes huge homers, which is entertaining, is you'll get to see the local ads that are in between. So it'll be like, you know, you're watching a Minnesota Timberwolves game and then you'll see this ad that you would never see otherwise in Southern California for like some Minneapolis garden supply company yeah where they've gotten you know like one of the twins to be their spokesperson and just you know the production values which are we're used

to things being a little bit more professional because LA is such a mecca for film and TV but sometimes some of these things that are produced that are on the air in like Charlotte North Carolina that are produced locally aren't the most professional things in the world. Yeah, you really forget that like, you know, I feel like for a while, like local commercial parody was such a comedy thing. It was such a web video thing specifically. It's like everyone who had seen Tim and Eric decided they should do a, you know, local commercial parody. And it was one of those things that I wondered if it actually existed anymore. Like, what are we parodying? Like, is this something that's still around?

But yeah, I think you do. And now I think more of the reason you don't see them is because people don't watch TV live that much anymore. But when you do go to another place and turn on their live TV, you're like, oh, yeah, there is still a guy in an ill-fitting suit in front of a green screen who has a weird inflection. Yeah, totally. Yeah, I feel like the similar thing in comedy is I feel like anytime, you know, I feel like film noir has become more of a sketch comedy genre than an actual film genre anymore. Like anything that they're parodying, anything that's being parodied is like someone's, what they've learned about film noir is from other sketches. It's not from the source material sure yeah like this weird layer of like well what are you even making fun of

anymore but yeah i feel like definitely and definitely there are local ads that are produced around the country that still have kind of that um uh that wonderful uh amateurishness to it yeah i think i think we have we've got a couple couple around here that run that are a little slicker, but not much. We've got the Who Man Hyundai ads with the Who Man family, who are great. And then the Tito's Tacos ad, which I really like. And Tito's Tacos is a, it's kind of a local institution. It's a stand kind of under the 405 that always has a big line. And they have a great song. I think it goes

something like, I love Tito's tacos. You love Tito's too. While clip art of tacos flies around. Like there's no, this is a commercial. The money was blown on the jingle and then the commercial is assembled clip art. I also like too that what they land on

in the song is, the only thing better than a Tito's taco is two. Just kind of like, I like that. Yeah, sure. Hey, you know, why not have two? You've earned it. So there is one. I don't know if you guys have seen.

It's a Los Angeles deep cut. It hasn't been on in years, but it's for a place called the Valley Ballroom that was like deep into, like, past Van Nuys, like deep in the valley. And it was a gentleman's club. And it started off with like a dude. He's like a Joe Everyman type character, but he's dressed in scrubs and he's in the operating room and he's a doctor. And he as he's like performing surgery, like's nurses in cut-off scrubs like super chesty sure um as you might expect yeah so he's doing surgery you don't see what he's doing like you know what exactly he's doing but he starts daydreaming about the valley ballroom and they're

like buffet set up and all the girls and whatever and then so he snapped they go doctor and he snaps out of it and the patient wakes up on the, and it's a girl with gigantic fake boobs. And she goes, what am I supposed to do with these? And he goes, you could go work at the Valley Ballroom. Wow, man. And then it cuts back to him sitting at the stage at the Valley Ball, and he just looks at the camera, gives a thumbs up, and goes, smoking hot chicks. I think it's, like, hidden somewhere away on YouTube if you Google, like, Valley Ballroom. Oh, boy.

In Texas, we had awful local commercials, but it is the best one I have ever seen. I'm just, I mean, I'm concerned about that woman. What if she had pancreatic cancer? She woke up on the table, so. Yeah. Yeah, and waking up during surgery is such a horrifying nightmare. Yes, but also she looked at him. The anesthetic didn't work.

You could go work at the Valley Ballroom. And she like looks at him like, oh, okay, well, I guess having, you know, breasts the size of my head are fine then. Yeah. I always have that option. Were the cutoffs on the nurses explained? Is that like part of the fantasy and when they pop back out, they're clothed normally? No, no, no.

This was just the operating room. It didn't seem very sterile. So this guy, in the reality of the volleyball commercial, this guy works in a place where the nurses wear slutty outfits, but he still daydreams of strip clubs, despite the fact that all the nurses where he is are dressed as strippers? That is correct. Okay. He perhaps works in such a sexually charged environment that that sort of just bleeds into his mindset while he's working. Yeah. And yeah. And maybe, you know, and I think that, you know, something happens with sexuality where, you know, when you you you know, you you experience something and then you got to you got to go one more. Sure. You got to go. It's never enough. I mean, we're you know, the human is a sexual beast with a thirst that can it can never be slaked.

The human is a sexual beast with a thirst that can never be slaked. So I think maybe he's working in this slutty hospital but has to go to a strip club every night because he's so numb. Boy, what a tragic commercial. This is an awful commercial of a man who can't feel anything. A woman who woke up mid-surgery with an awful cosmetic procedure she didn't ask for. Oh, boy. How's the buffet look, though? On the other hand didn't ask for. Oh boy. How's the buffet look though? On the other hand, smoking hot chicks. Smoking hot chicks.

I, you know, there's the, this is another thing I think that is a joke but I have not seen in practice is the strip club with the buffet. Does that exist? I don't know. I don't know. Probably asking the wrong people. I've never in my life been to a strip club. Oh yeah? Yeah, and it's not for any reason, but I've just like't know. I'm probably asking the wrong people. I've never in my life been to a strip club. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. And it's not for any reason, but I've just like, I guess I'm probably- Not horny enough? Yeah. You know, they call me old soft dick Weiger. This guy's never been horny in his life. Never even a bachelor party, birthday party? No. You haven't had the-

No. I mean, like, I think I'm probably mildly puritanical. I think that's probably a part... I probably have a little bit of that. Sure, you're comedy's favorite Quaker. Yeah, I'm a little bit of a prude. Sure. But, yeah, no, I've never had, like...

I feel like my closest friends who have gotten married have either had no bachelor parties or kind of like, hey, we're going to go to the arcade. You know what I mean? Yeah, when those 12-year-olds got married. So yeah, I've never had occasions like that.

Have the goofy, fun bachelor party. Not the, you know, lecherous boob fest. Yeah, we'll go mini-golfing and we'll have some barbecue. Good, clean funous boob fest. Yeah, we'll go mini golfing. We'll have some barbecue. Sure. Good, clean fun. Okay, interesting.

I've been to two strip clubs in Texas. One of them was called Perfect Ten. Taco Cabana. This is confusing. We know. It's had great breakfast tacos. Sure. One of them was called Perfect Ten Gentleman's Club,

and the number was being very generous. Sure. This is out of 50. And the only thing I remember was, like, there was just a million signs pointing to the ATM, but none to the bathroom. And there was, oh, the DJ was, like, stereotypically bad. And he brought two girls up to the stage with a King of the Hill theme song. He was like, ba-da-da-da- Hill theme song. It was like... Oh, bad. Do you think was that a commentary or do you think that's just a fun song that he knew?

Oh, this is a fun thing, you know. Sure. And then I feel at some point... In case you forgot, you were in Texas. No, he was very committed to the bit of being in Texas. And I swear there was like a dance off to dueling banjos. So that was perfect hen. And then I went to one in Austin with like a guy I was dating at the time.

And he like bought me a lap dance. And like it was just weird because I get I somehow got like emotionally invested in the story of this young lady whose name was Diamond at the time. Sure. And she must have been like 19. And so she's giving me this lap dance. And she. It's odd that they have the strippers come up and do a moth-esque story before they dance. Well, yeah.

Because she looks very young. And I'm like, oh, sweetheart, what are you doing? Where did you, you know, I don't even know what area you had to go to to buy that neon thong thing you're wearing. I'm really like I'm thinking about her day and her life and all her decisions that led her there. And then she's giving me this lap dance but she has like this really bony butt that's just digging into my thighs and it's uh pretty painful but also like I'm convinced that her self-esteem lies in this moment of me being like you're doing really good sure um so I just try to be like hey move your bony ass I'm trying to be supportive and fake enjoyment.

And I kind of just like when it was over, I just kind of put my hand up for a high five. Okay. Thanks for that. And left shortly after, but that was in my finger. We're exactly as sexual as the bachelor parties that Weigert's been to. You might as well have been driving go-karts. Interesting. Yeah.

Hey, you know, if anybody in the L.A. area has a line on a strip club that still has a buffet, hit me up. I'm curious. You're right. That is a go-to thing you hear people say or make a joke on is the bad food at a strip club buffet. But yeah, I don't know if in practice that's a thing that's commonplace. Sure. Is it legal? Oh, yeah. I would guess there's probably sanitation issues because you don't want open trays of food to be so close to pussies.

To open vaginas. Sure, open vaginas. Hard to say. Anyway, oh, so this is a topic I wanted to talk about with you guys. Not that I don't want to just talk about strip club buffets forever. I wanted to talk about the phenomenon of internet fatigue slash anger. We've all worked for the At Midnight program, which is a fake game show about the internet. Nick and I work there now. Vanessa, you have moved on to more network pastures.

Oh, just real quick. How's the food at a network show? Is it better than cable? Oh, absolutely. Okay. Yeah. No, there's none of this like whatever the crew guys couldn't eat and just loaded with carbs. It's a menu situation in the morning.

You discuss like what place we feel like having. And it's not, you know, it's not fast food stuff. And usually it's somewhere pretty decent. Bistro, cafe situation. And you just circle what you want. And then some poor assistant brings it to you. Bistro or better? Yeah.

Okay. I worked on a, I wrote for a couple of, for some Dodge commercials. And those were a situation where I felt like the food there was just opulent. Yeah. Like I felt like a lot of times if you haven't worked on a set, like it'll be like, you know, there'll be a table with some pretzels and some chips and some cookies, just sort of grab and go snacks you can have, you know, a jar of gummy bears. But this was a thing where you had like wait, waiters on silver platters coming by with,

like, a serving bowl with udon in it, and they'd just be, like, handing it to you. Wow. Is it canapé? Is that how you say it? I don't know. Canape? Is that a word? Describe the dish.

Some sort of odour is what I'm saying. A little, like, a salmon, like, a little bite. Okay. Like a mousse bouche, if you will. Sure. Yeah, just carrying around things like that. And I was just like, this is crazy how much money they have to just sort of waste on this thing when everyone would be happy with, you know, some string cheese and some PB&Js. I'm not complaining. Yeah, yeah.

The discrepancy is so strange when you work in various parts of the entertainment industry like the, you know, I'm sure we've all worked for a web video company where, yeah, it is just a, you know, a one of those drums of red vines. Oh, yeah. And yeah, and a leader of Dr. Star. Whatever like Frito-Lay products they sell at the dollar store, like these off market half in Spanish Cheetos. Sure. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Some sort of green Cheeto that you've never seen before that has a whale on the box.

Yeah. Yeah. So but also, yeah, I think I think people talk a lot about about how, you know, how what lean times these are for the entertainment industry. But you will occasionally just see people spending fuck you money on stuff. And it is strange that that still exists. It's like, can't everything just even out and everyone gets California Pizza Kitchen all the time?

Anyway, oh, so the idea of internet fatigue. Now that you don't work for a show that requires you to, you know, poke around on the internet for most of the day, do you, do you like it more or less? Or do you find yourself getting frustrated with it? Because I know there's definitely a point in my day, uh, where I feel like, fuck this. Um, is that, do you have that still? Oh, I absolutely do. Okay. Um, well, see, since I've like bid it at midnight and then left twice, like I left the first time and then came back and left again. Like I just kind of don't really look at the Internet for like a month after that.

OK. If I have something like some bullshit I want to tweet, I'll just kind of post it and look away. So I'm just kind of easing back into it. Yeah, maybe check your faves a little later in the day. Yeah. You're not a monster. You're going to check your faves a little later in the day yeah um you're not a monster you're gonna check your faves honestly yeah who am i um so it's more i don't know i uh i try to check in with the internet but it's just like oh fuck what are we outraged about today and sometimes

it's legitimate and it's like okay fine and i get that and then sometimes it's like misinterpreting something someone somebody said in a salon article that didn't matter. Yeah. Salon is usually involved. Yeah. Agreed. Nick, where do you where do you stand on that? Is it is it something that you feel like you want to get away from at a certain point? Well, you know, I one of the jobs I worked prior to at midnight, which is a funny that I produce shows. I worked for the Funny or Die website as a staff writer director editor of of internet videos so i was kind of immersed in that just fully for you know two and a half years or so um so yeah i mean i don't know i i do want to escape it but also i feel like i have absorbed so much of it through just so many jobs and twitter and just how i spend

my free time that also like it just kind of that kind of is my life too. Sure. Yeah. In a sad way of just like interacting with people via social media. It's like a pet or something that's just always at your house. Yeah, exactly. So I don't know. I mean, like there's certainly shit I read where I'm just like, I can't I just can't believe like whatever the opinion here like this is just driving me crazy.

But also I kind of like having that feeling okay kind of like like oh i like that this is agitating me or making me care or i like that this person who's obviously trolling is having an effect on these other people like that's just it's just kind of an interesting dynamic sure there's a yeah kind of a chewing on a cold sore type pleasure yeah uh it's something that i feel like I am just done with is is strong opinions. Like I feel like I am getting mad about both ends of an argument. Like I don't want to see anyone feeling strongly one way or the other. I think a good a good example is anything having to do with Star Wars.

So you got you've got one set of people on facebook saying you know the trailer made me cry this is it finally thank you jj thank you and then you have the uh fuck this grow up assholes it's for kids and i'm like why am i mad at both of these i have to feel one of these ways uh but yeah i think depending on which one i'm looking at, then I feel I feel like I flip to the other side. Yeah, you're kind of presented with this binary of, you know, this binary that's just in superlatives of this has to be fucking awesome or this is terrible and a crime against humanity. And like, you know, I'm someone who loves Star Wars growing up for ninth grade.

Like my personality was pretty much a guy who likes Star Wars. Sure. You know, I just wear Star Wars shirts a lot and talk about it and quote it. Man who is always face deep in some pussy. Yeah, yeah. So, and, you know, I was super hyped for episode one and then was let down and then was just like, fuck the prequels and was upset about that. And now I've kind of reached, I guess, a calm in my 30s where episode seven is coming out. And my feeling is like, oh, that looks good.

I'm excited. You know what I mean? And I feel like but I feel like I'm not allowed to have that opinion of like, I'm mildly excited for this thing. And I think it's going to be pretty good to good. Yeah, I and I like that. And I feel like if I if anyone has a opinion that is slightly to the left or right of that, I am mad. Yeah.

Like, I have to go to sleep because my day is kind of ruined. So, yeah, and I don't know what that is. And I think we were talking about this in that there is the effusive nerd. There's the, I cried, Chewy, we're home, thank you, JJ. Thank you. And then there's the there's the fuck this nerd. Yeah. And I think there was this there was this video that was going around of this guy who, you know, quotation marks,ade against the movie Pixels about how it's blah, blah, abortion, blah, blah, rectal warts. You know, pick your outrageous, you know, descriptor. And I think if I was going to choose, I'll take Chewy, we're home. Thank you, JJ. 100% agree. The guy who's just like, you know, because I saw Pixelswie We're Home. Thank you, JJ. 100% agree.

The guy who's just like, you know, because I saw Pixels, and it's bad. It's not a good movie. It's a bad children's movie. But it's also like when you see that everyone is circulating this guy who's like, Pixels is like chugging a flask of Hitler's diarrhea at gunpoint. And it's like, well, no, it's not. It's like it's not. Was that an actual line from the thing? I have no idea.

I don't know. Okay, it was pretty funny. It might as well be. But I mean, like, you know, I feel like there's so much, you know, it's like sucking Satan's dick and then maggots come out. Right. It's just like I don't need. It's not that bad. It's not good, but it's okay like i like i don't need it's not that bad it's not good but it's okay to have

but then it's also like the internet encourages this takedown because this was probably this guy's most circulated vlog and you know this was people were talking about this guy and sharing him on facebook and commenting and saying like yes this is it but then also the other level is a lot of the people who are doing that were people who haven't seen and will never see pixels sure they're sort of saying yes this guy is right about this thing that i have no interest in and that i'm going to remain ignorant about sure see i i don't know i disagree like i would i would much rather have that dude like and i'm not by any means it's like yeah i saw it like i read it and i'm not a you know i wasn't like posting like this guy gets it.

Yeah. But to me, I listen to that and I'm like, oh, this guy is fucking living. Like this makes him feel alive. Oh, interesting. Like all of like his passion for how much he hates this is just. So you see you look at this man who hates pixels and you see a man who has found his purpose. Yes. Okay.

Interesting. No, I like that. And yeah, there is a definite, there is a definite like now, you know, nerds who feel this hate, they have the nerds in their circle. But now they can broadcast that in a way. Yeah. And there is something amiable to that. Yeah, Vanessa, I mean, you could be right because if this comes from a place of like total earnestness, like this is how this guy feels and he was really moved to this point. But also like if it's – I also just have the feeling of like, oh, this is a little bit calculated and a little bit of a performance piece.

Like, oh, this is a little bit calculated and a little bit of a performance piece. You know, like this is this guy. This is like a crafted thing to try and seem a little bit more angry than he actually is, you know. But then again, maybe he actually is this pissed off and just is a guy with crazy priorities. Even if it is a performance piece, it's like it's his piece and his art. And maybe it started from like a base level of like I'm angry. I'm pissed off about this. How do I articulate in a perfect way?

How do I give myself in this form? It's a ballet that a fat man can do. It's absolutely a ballet that a fat man can do. But yeah, I like to think it got him off of his fucking couch from jerking off to... He's pacing around. He's pissed off. And he was like, you know what? I need to share this with the world. All of the things I'm feeling, I need to make other people feel them.

And maybe it's not the sentiment that we'd like, but it's like, yeah, that passion is driving him to do something. No. I mean, that's – and I think that's actually an excellent point. And I think that what I would like to see is that – you know, and I do think that punching Adam Sandler these days is punching down a little bit. I mean, hard to say you're punching down to a bazillionaire who will never want for anything again in his life. But, yeah, I mean, you know, he is unfortunately kind of a punchline. I would like to see this guy take a stance against, like, Benedict Cumberbatch, just someone everyone loves. Yeah.

And just do the, you know, whenever I hear Benedict Cumberbatch, just someone everyone loves. Yeah. And just do the, you know, whenever I hear Benedict Cumberbatch talk, it's like a falcon is scratching my urethra, you know, just do that, but to something that everyone has agreed that they love. Yeah, I do think there's something to, there are also like kind of soft targets. Like I feel like you can go after Adam Sandler

or, you know, I'm trying to think of another example, but there are certain things where you can kind of say like, like, oh, this thing is... Nickelback or something. Nickelback, yeah. They're kind of soft targets where it's okay. Everyone's okay with making fun of them. So you're not really taking a risk by making fun of that. But I think if you went after like, just throwing this name out there, I actually have a fan, but if you were to like, say like like I'm going to do something against Judd Apatow or Benedict Cumberbatch or someone who's maybe even not universally beloved but has people who are like, oh, wait, no, I think he's generally respected. I think this guy is all right. Yeah. I don't know.

I think there would be something interesting to taking that stand. Then again, I feel like that's the kind of thing where you'd either face a backlash or if the argument was convincing, it would just be ignored because people don't want to hear that they shouldn't love something that they love, you know? Sure. Well, I think the important thing to remember is that, like, Pixels was about, you know, it had Q-Bert and all these things. I feel like this dude felt like this was an attack on, like, his youth. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I guess we didn't take into account how strongly this guy actually feels about Pac-Man, which may be very strongly. I mean, I feel like you issue the challenge to Cumberbatch. It's like, hey, attack something this dude loves.

I don't think it's necessarily about likability or who you can shit on. And also, like, I agree, it's kind of shitting on Sandler at this point, which is why Rob Schneider is right in the zone of people to shit on. Yes, let's all focus our ire toward Rob Schneider. Oh, that poor guy. Can I spoil something in pixels? Please do, yeah. I would prefer if you did. Okay, so you mentioned Q-Bert.

So Q-Bert is in the movie, and there's this kind of confusing thing where they have to face these gaming challenges from the aliens who are invading. And they're invading using the signal that was sent out, uh, 30 years ago of, uh, the video game championship. So they have interpreted it as a, as a signal of war. And it's kind of strained, but they are,

they are using these video game, um, mechanics to try to attack the planet earth. So, um, every time they win, uh, the,

the planet, the planet earth wins one of these video game challenges, they get a little trophy. And one of the trophies they get is Q-Bert. So Q-Bert just comes down to Earth at one point and is just hanging out with like Josh Gad and Adam Sandler. And he's just like one of the guys for a little bit. He's actually really cute. He's the eye point of the movie.

But there's a thing that happens later in the award sequence where they're at the White House and they're getting medals from the president, who is Kevin James, for defeating the alien video game invasion. And Q-Bert is changed, I guess, in some sort of gift from the aliens into a hot video game chick who Josh Gad had a crush on, like an old full motion video game, like one of those characters. Like a mad dog McCree? Yeah, like a hot chick from like a mad dog McCree. And so Josh Gad ends up marrying this Q-Bert who's transformed into a hot chick.

And then there's a later sequence in the credits where we see all their babies in a crib and they're baby Q-Berts. So the logic is it's still Q-Berts DNA that's been changed into the shell of a hot woman. Josh Gad is fucking her and then she's birthing Q-Berts

out of her womb. Wow. David Cronenberg could direct a version of that and it could be horrible. You know what? My biggest problem is still Kevin James as president. I mean, are we that far off from Kevin James as president? That's one of the things where it's like, oh, in theory, I get that that's a funny joke. Because they start with a flashback where Adam Sandler and Kevin James are kids.

Kevin James is bad at video games. Adam Sandler is awesome at video games. We cut to 30 years in the future. Adam Sandler is hanging with his buddy Kevin James in a bar. And they're like sipping beers. And then there's a wide shot and you see the Secret Service detail around Kevin James. And so Adam Sandler works at GameStop and Kevin James went on to be the president. So I feel like there's like, oh, there could be a funny way to handle that.

But it's just not used in a funny way in the movie, which is part of how it's just kind of this film that's kind of mired in mediocrity to being poor. of how it's just kind of this film that's kind of mired in mediocrity to being poor. Yeah. So, but, yeah, but I guess all the resources and time went into the logistics of Q-Bert fucking. Yeah. Although I bet that, like, there's probably a kid who saw Pixels who had that imprinted on his sexuality. Oh, sure. Yeah.

Also, I wonder, like, if you're, who has to go to the person that created Q-Bert and be like, hey, we want to get your permission to use Q-Bert. It's like, okay, well, what are you going to do with him? Okay. It's me, John Q-Bert. He's very close to my heart. Yeah. I never had kids, and this is my legacy. Like, I'm open to letting you use him.

I don't usually say yes, but as long as you use him in a cool, like, respectful way to his character. Oh, we're going to turn him to a hot chick, and then Josh Gad's going to fuck him until he has the hot chick has baby. Alright, so leave a check on the table and I think we can work this out. Well, leave a check on the table and turn off my breathing machine so I can die in peace.

I think it really just depends on what tier of video game property you're dealing with. If you've got Super Mario, then that's a non-starter. To even show him in a movie is going to require a lot. Sure, a lot of paperwork. If you're dealing with a chef from Burger Time, you basically, yeah, he's going to be getting DP'd by a couple of inmates.

All right, sure. Yeah. Just happy to be working at something. That's why there's that log scene of Rob Schneider face fucking Arrow the Acrobat. Yeah, oh, sure. I guess I own that. Yeah, let Rob Schneider face fuck him. That's why you get the Blu-ray.

Well, gosh, guys, I think we've covered a lot of ground. We're going to take a little break and then stay tuned, audience. I think there's a segment coming up that you're really going to enjoy. We'll be right back. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, dog owner. And I am Renee Colvert, a dog wanter. And together, we're the hosts of Can I Pet Your Dog? A podcast for unapologetic dog lovers. So let's talk about this. What are you getting yourself into?

What is this podcast about? Well, we have dog news, dog experts, and interviews with special guests about their dogs. We also talk about dogs that we met this week. Join us every Tuesday on MaximumFun.org for new episodes of Can I Pat Your Dog? Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you. It's Jordan and Jesse Goh. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. I'm Nick Weiger, oaf. Vanessa Ramos, born again vegan.

Oh, great nicknames, guys. Great nicknames. So, we were talking about the internet earlier. I want to just mention something that happens to me pretty regularly on Twitter. Big week for me Twitter-wise. I got yelled at for two different very funny things. I got yelled at for both furry shaming and for calling people from Florida swamp people. I stand by both those remarks. No, my apologies to the fine people of Florida and to the fine perverts of the furry community. Long may you reign. So yeah, I have been very outspoken on this show about my love

of Bud Light Lime. It's one of my favorite summertime treats, especially in a barbecue situation. This is a Bud Light that has a twist of lime, very refreshing, delicious. Something that I hate is the Bud Light Limerita. This is a malt beverage, not a margarita as the name might imply. This is something you would drink as like a Smirnoff Ice, a Bacardi O, a malt beverage, kind of masquerading as a margarita and with the Bud Light Lime name stamped on it and doing a thorough job of sullying that good name. But for some reason, I think there's some confusion as to which side of this fence I'm on. So people will tweet me every time a new Bud Light Lime-a-Rita product comes out. Sure.

Even though I've been very outspoken about the fact that I dislike this product. I think it's bad. I think it's gross. But still people persist. But people, you know, maybe I'm resisting something too much maybe i'm protesting too much i think like so i think what i wanted to do today was to not only try some of these new bud light limeridas uh and maybe it's just the traditional limerida that i that i hate maybe some of the new flavors are good but maybe some also summertime malt beverages uh to where

maybe if i don't like the Limerita, maybe there is a similar malt beverage that I can enjoy when I'm at a barbecue and want an alternative to a beer. So we're all going to taste test some delicious summertime malt beverages. We each have a Limerita product from the Bud Light Limerita Fiesta Box or Fiesta Pack. We've got a Mike's Hard Margarita. Let me get the name of this right. This is from the people who bring you Mike's Hard Lemonade. It's the Mike's Classic Margarita.

Cold, hard, refreshing is the slogan. And the Smirnoff Ice Peach Bellini. Smirnoff Ice Peach Bellini. So we're going to taste test all three of these. Tell us what you think. Or we're going to tell you what we think, rather. Before we start, I want to get your guys' opinion on this particular kind of product. Do you enjoy a malt beverage at a barbecue or otherwise? probably be pretty low on my list of what I'd like to have at a barbecue. I think I'd rather have a beer, a glass of wine, maybe some sort of simple cocktail. Yeah, these sort of prefab malt beverages, they're usually a little too sweet and punchy and syrupy for me. I feel like this has been an interesting shift in marketing we've seen in the beverage sector,

where this used to be, I feel like, this was the wine cooler back in the day. This was the Bartles and James. And that used to be a thing of like, oh, this is for your mom or for your aunt. That's who this is targeted towards. And I think probably starting with Smirnoff Ice and Mike's Hard Lemonade in the late 90s, early 2000s maybe, they started trying to do like, oh, we're going to go after like college guys and make this an acceptable thing for men to drink. Yeah, I think now the vibe is get a teen drunk, you asshole. But yeah, overall, my overall opinion on these is I'm more of a malt beverage skeptic.

Okay. Vanessa, how about you? What's your relationship? I don't dislike them. Like, I mean, it's been a long time since I've had one, but it is that very thing. Publicly, I don't know that I would drink it because I do kind of like Nick was saying. I feel like either a mom or someone who doesn't want their mom to know that they're drinking it. Sure.

Yeah. Maybe mom and her new boyfriend went to Cancun. You have the house to yourself. Maybe not a barbecue, but it's like, hey, so we're going to float down the river somewhere kind of shitty. And we're just like, this will be a fun bit to do is to drink Mike's Hard Lemonade. So you like the context of a floating bit. Exactly. Floating bit seems fine.

I'm with you on that. Yeah, agreed. And you know what? Floating bit seems fine. I'm with you on that. Yeah, I agree. And you know what? I think there's probably a little bit of an embarrassment on my part because I definitely remember when I started drinking, I started drinking real late. I mean not real late, but I was well into 21 before I started drinking with any regularity.

I definitely had one or two in high school, was very afraid of it. had one or two in high school, was very afraid of it. So definitely my first couple months of drinking were Smirnoff ice-based, and I am still very embarrassed when I look back at that time. So I think there's probably a wound there that has not healed. So that's maybe why I am so, why my rage is maybe too much at these kinds of things. But we'll see. Maybe today is the day that that ends.

So yeah, does anybody have any feeling as to which of these they'd like to try first, the Mike's Hard Margarita, the Bellini, or the Bud Light Limerita? I feel like let's start with the Mike's Hard. Yeah, let's do. That sounds like a lot of fun. Okay, so this is Mike's Classic Margarita, cold, hard, refreshing is the tagline. No real indication this is Mike's Classic Margarita Cold Hard Refreshing is the tagline.

No real indication of let's see, premium malt beverage with natural flavors and artificial colors. Okay. Pretty cryptic there. Yeah, right? Fluid with flavoring. Yeah, definitely. And where the nutrition information is supposed to be, there's

just a middle finger. I had a sip of this. This is indiscernible to me from Smirnoff Ice or a similar product. It just tastes like a Sprite. It tastes like a headache in a bottle to me. Maybe if this was ice cold, half of it would be kind of nice. But right now, I'm going to go ahead and give this a thumbs down. Yeah, I mean, I could suck this down in, I feel like, 15 seconds.

It's just pure syrup with a little bit of carbonation. I can sort of, and this is probably partly the color and the name of it affecting my perception, but it does taste more like a margarita than a regular Mike's Hard. But then again, I wonder if I had it in a blind taste test with a Mike's Hard, if I'd be able to pick out which one was the margarita than a regular Mike's Hard. But then again, I wonder if I had it in a blind taste test with a Mike's Hard, if I'd be able to pick out which one was the margarita. And certainly I'd prefer a regular, just a regular margarita versus this thing that's bottled. Yeah.

I'd say thumbs down. That's a thumbs up, thumbs down. That's what we're doing. Oh, sure. Yeah. I mean, it's not bad, but it does kind of taste like you had an iced margarita and you just put it on the stove and walked away. So, yeah, I'm going to give it a thumbs down.

Okay. Well, we should have a better rating system. Thumbs up, thumbs down is so it's not unique to the challenge. Drinks up, drinks down. There you go. That's way more. What's that? Bottoms up?

Is that a say? Bottoms up or pour it out? Yeah, yeah. That's not good. Yeah, I definitely agree with you. It has like kind of the, it burns your throat like a melted snow cone a little bit, which I don't think is a good quality. Yeah, and again, I'm just not detecting any margaritanness about it. I think it's misleading.

Although I think it should be, we should let the audience know that we are still drinking these. Oh, yeah. I'm halfway done. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to go enroll in a junior college in Arizona when this is over. Okay. Well, let's do the Smirnoff Ice Bellini next.

How about – I got another pitch. Okay. How about down your throat or down the drain? Okay. I mean, I like where you're going with the bottoms up. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah.

I'll keep thinking. Okay. Yeah, yeah. like where you're going with the bottoms up. Yeah, yeah, okay. I'll keep thinking. Okay, yeah, yeah. We'll figure it out. So this is the Smirnoff Ice Bellini. Do you guys like Smirnoff Ice products typically? Or I guess, did you have the same experience as me to where it was one of the first alcohols you could tolerate? I tell you, I got started drinking beer in high school. Oh, boy. I hope my mom and dad aren't listening. Oh, boy, here we go.

No, I got started drinking beer in high school, and I kind of was always just okay with the, I accepted the taste of beer. So, you know, I've had periods where I've liked mixed drinks and stuff, but I was never someone who gravitated towards these sweeter spirits. Vanessa Smirnoff-Weiss, something you've had an experience with? Very little. I feel like the first time I ever had a drink, I was 18 and it was at a party

and I didn't know anything about alcohol. And I think I thought it was Smirnoff Ice, but it turned out to be Everclear. Wow. And so I got real sick. It was handed to you by a member of the band Everclear. Yeah, by the blonde guy. Sure.

Art Alexaxis. So, yeah, but both the band and the drink are equally part of my life right now. My first drink period was at a high school party. And it was just someone had taken a half-full can, like Costco-sized can of powdered Tang and dumped vodka in it, and then everyone passed it around. What a nightmare. Yeah, right?

And to this day, I still order it in bars. It's called the, yeah, no. Yeah, so this is the Smirnoff Ice Peach Bellini. The color is, i would call it rose like yeah absolutely um and yeah and this seems like uh this seems like the you know it's being marketed uh towards somebody looking for a fun gal's night yeah very smooth very smooth drink uh yeah this is a little better than the uh this is a little better than the mics to me. Still very sweet, but not quite as prominent.

A little bit of carbonation. Yeah, a little more easy drinking. I prefer this one. I don't know if I'm going to give it a full down your throat, but somewhere between down the throat and down the drain. Yeah. but somewhere between down the throat and down the drain. Yeah.

There's a specific, well, there's a nonspecific sense memory I'm getting of this, of some drink I had as a child. There's some, like, juicy juice or, like, what were those? The Squeeze It that had this exact flavor that I'm getting. And I wonder of how much of their development of these internally is, like, trying to recall some sort of childhood beverage. Clearly, these are targeted towards, you know, college, college kids explicitly and, you know, teenagers younger than that kind of implicitly. That would explain their new product, Yoohoo and Gin. Yeah. But yeah, this is pretty drinkable. You know, it wouldn't be my first choice, but I have an easier time downing this than the other one.

I would say toss it back, not toss it out. Okay, I like that so far. Yeah, I'm with Nick on this one. I think it's like an elegant Jolly Rancher. Yeah, right. Yeah, it definitely has that candy- Like a Jolly Rancher an event planner might eat. Yeah. Right. Yeah, it definitely has that candy-like taste. Like a Jolly Rancher an event planner might eat. Exactly. It's like,

I just drop the kids off and, you know, they're going to go and have swim practice for a couple hours. I'm going to open an InStyle magazine and just have me time. Yeah. I think this is the perfect drink for after you've dropped the kids off at swim practice. And then later you can drop the kids off at the pool, which means pooping i know i was about i was like oh it's swim and

then i said specifically and i was like oh because because shitting yeah i think it can be both um okay well i mean i have no doubt you will shit except after drinking oh yes this will cause unpleasant shits uh does it say that because it should but yeah the the smirnoff peach bellini uh far more drinkable than the Mike's to me, but infinitely more embarrassing to be seen with. Oh, sure. Mike's is already pretty embarrassing to be seen with, but this is, although, you know what?

Maybe this is so embarrassing, the rosé color, the bottle with the graphics, that you could play it off as some kind of cool irony. Yeah. To where the Mike's, maybe you just seem like a rube, but you're just like, oh, no, I'm just like a, you know, I'm having a Smirnoff, what can I say, mustache. I feel like if you want to take your fancy wife to the gathering of the juggalos, like this is kind of how you get her there.

It's like, yeah, come on, I mean, there's going to be beer. I mean, they have Smirnoff peach bellini, and it's like, okay, well, I guess I can go hang out with you and your family. Sure, yeah. I mean, the wife can lay down in the tent, have a nice Smirnoff iced peach bellini and it's like, okay, well I guess I can go hang out with you and your family. Sure, yeah, I mean, the wife can lay down in the tent, have a nice Smirnoff Ice Peach Bellini and you can go watch

Blasia Dead Homie. Which is my favorite Juggalo adjacent band. Okay, well yeah, let's do the Bud Light Limerita. And I should disclose, I neglected to get one of these cans out of the 12-pack when it was available, so if one of you can pour a little into this glass.

Oh, actually, you know, why don't we do this? I'm going to go grab the thing because we got a variety pack. And I kind of want each of us to weigh in on a different flavor. I think that's the benefit of the variety pack. So let me grab one. You guys vamp. Okay, great. Vanessa, how are things?

Things are good. I've now sampled two malt beverages, which is, you know, normally I only stick to one on Saturdays, but... Well... When in whatever part of town we're in. This is Rome, actually. Oh, we're... Okay, I thought... Yeah, this is East Romsburg. The tall buildings.

Yeah, yeah. The pizza box. It's all coming together. So, yeah. So, this is a variety pack you can get with all the various Rita products. I don't know if it's total, but it definitely has four different kinds. I have the Mango Rita, which people have recommended to me many times. So, Vanessa, what did you get? I have the Strawberry Rita. Okay.

And I was just handed the Lemonade Rita. Okay. Actually, I want to issue a correction. Straw-burr-rita. Yeah, the burr is something that they inject into there to kind of denote coldness, I guess. I think this is worth noting that this is about the size of an airplane can of V8 juice. of an airplane can of V8 juice. You've got like an eight fluid ounce can as opposed to say a, you know,

the normal 12 ounce can you would get like a Coke or a beer in. Yeah, so this is smaller, but I think also worth noting, 8% alcohol by volume. So smaller, but will get you more fucked up. Mightier. Okay.

Okay, I'm tasting the lemonade, Rita. Lot of lemon here. Lemon very, very forward. Yeah, I'm having the lemonade Rita. A lot of lemon here. Lemon very, very forward. Yeah, I'm having the mango. Oh, boy. This is more drinkable than the traditional limerita to me, which is the most foul of the drinks. This is a little bit better but still has that just awful popsicle problem. Yeah.

I mean, to me, this is – I mean, it's like I guess I'm expecting more of a lemonade character from it. And I guess I'm getting a little bit more tartness than I might expect. I don't know. What should we do? Should we round robin this, pass this around? Yeah. How do you guys feel about germs? I'm okay with it.

I'm fine with it, too. I also like germs. So the Strawberrita, I feel like I'm mostly tasting malt, if that's possible. Like, it's just a very malt, licorice, with, like, a strawberry aftertaste. But even that strawberry is, like, those weird candies you'd get, like, with the metallic red wrapper and dots, like, at the dollar store. Oh, yeah. Yes. What are those?

That specific kind of strawberry. And then there's maybe a tiny, like, little pocket of gel inside when you get to the middle. That's what that one tastes like. You definitely are not. Oof. Whoa. Really? Yeah.

Fuck. Is that what this tastes like? Yeah. This is medicine. It's like cough medicine. Oh, this is easily the worst of the things we've tried. Yeah. What I was going to say about the mango Rita is you're definitely, it's definitely pretty

alcohol tasting. Yeah. It's not, I would expect this like the ones, to try to be disguising the alcohol with, like, a lot of syrup and a lot of juice. But that one in particular, you could really taste the booze. Strap in for the strawberry. Yeah, geez. I want to see your reaction, Nick, because I was really surprised that's what that tastes like. Oh, yeah.

To me, that is putrid. Yeah, I think that's the word for it. Really unpleasant. Yeah, I mean, you're getting some strawberry, but you're right. It's very, very medicine-y. Sure, yeah. I feel like it's like fluoride at the dentist. I'm having a lot of sense memory reactions to it, but they are all bad.

That's really unpleasant. I mean, this is the kind of thing where I'm kind of surprised that this made it past any sort of focus test. Yeah, who likes that? Yeah, it's, I don't know. I mean, it's certainly, because I've had strawberry margaritas at, like, a Mexican restaurant, and this has, this, it has a strawberry margarita on the can. So you assume that's what they're going for. And to me, this has nothing flavor-wise in common with that actual beverage. Yeah, it should just have, like, a, it should just have just have like a set of bleeding gums.

Do these expire? Because it might have. Yeah, these might be bad. I got these from BevMo today. Oh. So I think we- This brand is in trouble. Yeah.

The Lemonade-erita is also fine, a little bit better than the traditional Lime-erita to me, but not markedly better. I think of the three of them, I prefer the mango. Agreed. It's definitely the least terrible. But it also has that weird, like I know everything is kind of qualified as a candy, but it's definitely like orange pixie stick mixed with turpentine. All right. So let's, so I think to the bud light limerita family let's i mean

obviously no one enjoyed the strawberry which i think is uh we can just go ahead and say is bad but uh what what do you guys think to the uh uh to the to the bud light limerita family do you give it a chug it or get rid of it? That's the least clever of those we've come up with so far. I think it's great. I would say I'm going to go with a I'm not going to say chug it.

I'm going to say chuck it into the recycling bin. Okay, that's much better than what I said, which the words didn't even sound like. Vanessa, what do you think? I don't have a clever thing, so I'm just going to say burn it to the ground. Oh, sure.

Okay, great. Yeah. I am maybe going to give a light chug it to the mango. The mango's not bad. I thought that the mango was pretty good. Definitely kind of neck and neck with the Bellini as far as drinkability goes. Definitely better than any of the other Lime-A-Rita family that I've tasted.

To the line as a whole, chuck it. To the mango specifically, light chug. Yeah, I would say if you can find a pack that's all mango, it may be worth your time, but if you get that triple pack, then you've got

mango and then these two other flavors that aren't very good. It's like if you got a thing of Neapolitan ice cream and it had chocolate, but instead of vanilla and strawberry, it had vinegar and toothpaste. Sure. And eight bees. Yeah. Whoa, get them out of here. There's eight bees in here.

I mean, I'd rather put bees in my mouth than that strawberry one. The strawberry one fucking sucks. Yeah, boy, howdy. Is that for, like, homeless guys who are just used to chugging cough syrup? They're like, here you go. You know, it does say on the can, try it over ice. And so perhaps we're not giving it a fair shake.

Like, oh, you know what? That's probably it, is that we didn't have ice in it. Yeah. So I think while we sit here and finish the podcast, I'm probably going to finish the Smirnoff Ice Peach Bellini. What do you guys think? Do you have one that you'll sip on for the duration of the show? I mean, to be candid, I'm probably going to finish all three. But I'm going to start with this Peach Bellini while my sense of taste is at its strongest

and then as it's gradually numbed by this alcohol I'll move on to the ones that are progressively less pleasant. Yeah, I do acknowledge that there's probably a level of drunk to where all of these are amazing. Vanessa, what do you think? Okay, so I'm going to start by finishing the Mike's classic margarita and then move my way up to the luxury that is the Smirnoff Ice Peach Bellini. Yeah.

And then I am going to do everything in my ability to burn the can of the other one to the ground. Sure. Yeah. Can we set a can on fire? We'll see. Coming up a little later in the show. Well, yeah. So I think we've done a pretty good job of diving into the world of malt beverages.

Nick, I will acknowledge that we have taken a page from the Doughboys playbook a little bit. Oh, not at all. You guys test snacks on the show, and it's been a lot of fun. We don't own, I don't think we own the concept of a taste test. I think that's something that predates podcasting in general. Well, I had never heard of it until your show, so I'd never heard of people tasting something and then talking about it. You know what Vanessa was saying earlier about having this as a bit, which is basically what this purchasing decision was.

It was bought for the purposes of this comedy podcast. Yeah, I guess us trying respectable craft beers from local breweries would not have been funny. Yeah. So, I mean, like, I wonder, I do wonder because recently on the Doughboys podcast, we taste tested, there's a co-branded pinnacle vodka that's Cinnabon flavored. Oh. Not cinnamon flavored, but specifically like Cinnabon.

And it says, you know, artificially flavored to taste like a Cinnabon roll. And it doesn't. But as we were drinking that and as we were drinking this, and Vanessa's point earlier about doing a bit on a lazy river, drinking one of these, makes me wonder how much of these are purchased ironically. Like how much is like, oh, this will be kind of funny to get some fucking Smirnoff peach bellinis and we'll have this for barbecue. I don't know.

I wonder, yeah, I wonder if they do factor in ironic purchases to their bottom line every year. What if you started buying these ironically and then you went to AA ironically? Whoa, I just can't stop drinking them. I got really heavy into this bit. And it ruined my family. I got fired because of the bit.

I'm happier for real. Yeah. I got into a bit-related auto I'm happy you're for real. Yeah. I got into a bit-related auto accident. Yeah, it sounds like you were just drinking and driving. Me not driving home is a bit. Right, yeah. I have to blow into my car. It's this great bit that I came up with.

Okay, cool. Well, hey, if you, yeah, hit us up online. Use the hashtag JJGo if you've had any good malt beverages this summer, ironically or otherwise, that you'd like us to know about. And we're going to keep enjoying these when we go to our next segment coming up very soon on Jordan, Jessica, don't go away. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Ty is a pedantic person. I think when he pronounces these words, it's in a very show-offy way. Gyro.

Gyro. Sacrebleu. Sacrebleu. Ayers Rock. Uluru. What you are witnessing is real. The participants are not actors. They are actual litigants with real cases.

They call in via Skype to Judge John Hodgman's court, the real people's court. Now I call you to Judge John Hodgman's internet court. Find it at MaximumFun.org or wherever you download podcasts. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,ames. So, yeah, so a few things to address, some housekeeping. Some people have been letting us know about this online. We've been kind of having some fun this summer with the concept of the summer boy. This, of course, is based on something an Uber driver said to me. He said specifically that when I was wearing shorts, I looked like a real summer boy. And we've been kind of using that to inspire people to have a lot of fun this summer, to try new things, to chill and grill, to just, you know, in general, enjoy life a little bit more. And a lot of people have been doing that and it's been a lot of fun.

But it has squashed one of our other annual holidays here on Jordan Jesse Go. And that's anal August. So I know we haven't set it up to this point, but happy anal August to everybody. This, of course, is based on the popular sign that they hang outside the pleasure chest on Santa Monica Boulevard every August wishing you a happy anal August. I will say that I drove by the pleasure chest to see what their analogous sign was this year, and it didn't contain the phrase Analogous, which made me disappointed. It just said, I'll be your power bottom. And while that is still in the spirit of Analogous, it didn't have the phrasing, which made me a little disappointed.

Yeah. It's like if it's Toyotathon and they don't actually use Toyotathon. They're like, have a Camry New Year. Yeah. It's like, well, well okay but that's not the thing i'm expecting sure exactly i get where you're coming from but to me like the new one seems very like almost spiritual like it seems like the well no it seems like the anal sex version of like when there was only one set of footprints in the sand he was carrying me

oh so i get what they're going for and i yeah and you know and i i know that you know at this point in the anus right i know at this point you know they've been doing analogous for a while and you need to switch it up and you know i kind of get this is a little more of an artistic you know abstract expression but still i'm a you know i'm a purist at heart and uh you know just like you know people who you know uh move to the, move to the West Coast and miss a white Christmas, I miss an explicit analog. But you know what? I'm happy to be anybody's power bottom any day. So I guess I can get on board with that, too.

I actually called the Pleasure Chest to see if they would, you know, if they could get somebody in here. Like maybe we could have somebody for the show today to kind of explain the promotion, you know, just talk about how people can like celebrate the rest of Anal August. And, you know, we weren't able to get anything done in time, maybe in a future, maybe in one of the other episodes coming up this month, we'll be able to do something. No promises. But I called them and this is I should be clear, this is a sex store. I called them and I said-

Wait a minute. This place called The Pleasure Chest that has a marquee advertising anal August is a sex store? I know, old Quaker Weiger over here who's never even been to a strip club. Let me spell it out for you, buddy. Who's never even been to a strip club. Let me spell it out for you, buddy. So I called and just said, hi, this is kind of a weird request, but do you guys have anybody that does press, like could do a podcast? And then I thought to myself, this is the least weird thing this guy has heard all day.

This guy sells dildos with various prongs. Do you have a dildo that looks like Shrek's fist? Oh, also, will you come on my podcast? What if you get one of the crow's feet stuck in your upper urethra? A podcast? You sicko. Don't ever call here again. But anyways, that aside, we are still celebrating the summer of the Summer Boy.

People still have, in theory, called in with momentous occasions. I don't know what the calls are today. I think for two reasons. One, that our usual producer, Brian, is out. Two, I don't care enough to get it organized

in advance. So what you are getting is a random grab bag of calls and I still uh, care enough to get it organized in advance. So, uh, what you are getting is a random grab bag of calls and I still think it's going to be a lot of fun. I mean, I already did a little bit of prep for the show. I went to BevMo and bought all these malt beverages. So don't get on my ass for not listening to the calls ahead of time, you motherfuckers. And Florida's a swamp. If you live there, you're a swamp person. It's a literal swamp.

Sorry, I've had a little too much Bellini and I've gotten feisty. But yeah, call grab bag coming up. Hey, why don't you play the first call for us? Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. Calling from St. Louis with my summer boy story. Yesterday I went on a 100-mile bike ride, included two trips on a ferry, and lunch at a patio bar out by the river.

Oh, and then afterwards I met a girl for the first date and we had sex till 3 a.m. Is that it? Does he want us to high-five him? I guess I would be worried that – I mean, surely you bathed after the bike ride, before the sex. I got to say, like, you know, I think this whole call was a stealth brag for this 100-mile bike ride. Yeah. Which is, you know, pretty, he was trying to act like, oh, this is a brag about me having sex the first day, but really. But also, I'm strong and powerful. Oh, also, I've been on a ferry before, too, so no.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, you boat travel've been on a ferry before, too, so no. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you boat travel. Okay, all right. You live by a port. Congratulations. And you know what? Sex till 3 a.m., that's only impressive if I know when you started. We had sex from 2.50 to 3 a.m.

You watched TV until the When by Chaz Dean commercial came on and decided why not. Yeah, so then you had Sleepy Missionary for nine minutes. Then we watched Byron Allen's Comics Unleashed. So, you went on a bike ride recently. What's that like? That's Byron Allen setting him up for his bike ride material. Yeah, I mean, I appreciate that. I appreciate that this guy is combining fitness and nautical travel and getting his dick wet.

If the criteria is, we're judging this on how much of a summer activity this is, correct? Yeah, or how much this guy is seizing the day, I guess. It's certainly, carpe diem, it sounds like quite a day. It sounds like a very memorable day. Certainly, Carpe Diem, it sounds like quite a day. It sounds like a very memorable day. And, you know, to brag a little myself, I've done the 100-mile bike race a couple of times at the Solvang Century, which is a thing years ago. But I've done that a couple of times.

It's a lot. Riding 100 miles in one day on a bicycle is daunting. It's quite a challenge. So that's impressive. And, yeah, it sounds like he had a good, I guess a good, what do we say? This is a good summer day, summer boy experience? Yeah. Is this summer boy or summer

oi that was bad? I don't know. We'll just say summer boy so we don't have to say the second one ever again. Yeah, that's a good idea. Let's just say, yeah, no, I think this is a pretty good summer boy activity. Again, you know, the bragging part of it, I could do without.

But yeah, but ultimately it seems like this guy did grab life by its what have yous. Also, what happened to making love? Thank you. He had sex with her after that. Thank you. You get her a Smirnoff peach Bellini.

Sure. You treat her right. You fill a bathtub with Smirnoff ice peach Bellini, and you bathe that woman. I would like to bathe a lover in Bellini. That seems kind of nice. How satisfying must it be to say something like Vanessa just said in the context of a Maury Povich taping and then just get a standing ovation from the audience, you know? That would be so fucking rad. That would be so

rad. Oh, you know, you know what I was thinking would be really satisfying that I have not done? I've never been on the local news. Have either of you been on the local news? No, I've been in the I was in the I was misquoted in the Long Beach Press-Telegram. Okay. They did a report on – You said – the quote was racism is great. Yeah. And you said it was bad.

It was more misattributed, I guess is a better word. They interviewed my brother, Nate Weiger. I'm Nick Weiger. So, you know, they get their ends confused. And they didn't interview me, but they attributed my brother's quotes to me. So it looked like I had said it doesn't matter who cares. But the thing it was is I was in middle school and there was this article in the local paper and it was a report on my Boy Scout troop. So all of a sudden, all my middle school knew my dark secret, which was that I was a practicing Boy Scout, which is, you know, pretty socially ostracizing,

I feel like, for a middle school kid. I don't know if it is still today, but it certainly was, you know, 20 years ago. Yeah, interesting. And this wasn't like, you didn't like wear your uniform to school or anything when you had a jamboree. No, I was living two lives. Oh, wow. I modeled a tacky shoe in the San Antonio Express News. Wow.

My face wasn't in it, but my foot was. Do you remember the shoe? I don't remember what kind of shoe it was. I just know it was gold and tacky. Okay. And how do you secure a job shoe modeling for the local paper? Well, normally when someone says you have nice feet, you're like, yeah, save it for the Internet. Sure, yeah.

But, yeah, it was just someone, like, threw a friend, and she was like, hey, you know, what size shoe do you wear, this or that, whatever. And I had to show up, and some, like, three people looked at my feet, and one dude was like, they try to play it cool and be like, all right, well, thank you for coming in. And then they call you back and be like. We love your feet. We'd like to offer you the position. Of shoe wearer. Wow. Just of someone who stands up while we get a camera close to your foot. Well, congratulations. Thank you.

I mean, it's no Nate Weiger accomplishment. Oh, no. All right, well, we've still got a couple left in the grab bag. It said my name in.2 font. You know, that's funny that it said the name. I mean, that seems like more credit than a foot model usually gets. Yeah. Well, congratulations. You have good representation. Yeah, let's hear the next call in the telephone grab bag.

Hey, Jordan. Hey, Jesse. Hey, guests. Just calling in with a momentous occasion. So I just moved to Huntington Beach, which is pretty much the most Orange County town in Orange County and this morning on my way into work I met my neighbor who was wearing a social distortion shirt introduced himself as OC Mark and then got into his lifted pickup and drove away and the first thing I thought of was that sounded exactly like Jordan's description of every dude in Orange County. So thanks a lot, guys. Have a good one. Yeah, boy, that is on the nose. Nick and I grew up in kind of similar zones. Is that the track

for you? You know, I was a couple weekends ago, my wife and I went down to meet my parents. My parents live in Oceanside. We live in Santa Monica. So we kind of sometimes do a halfway meeting point somewhere in Orange County. And we met in Huntington Beach, which the townie just called out. And yeah, we met at like a burger restaurant. And yeah, it was, we met at like a burger restaurant. The number of like guys wearing MMA gear, just like eating brunch on a Saturday morning was like staggering.

It's like you just look around just like all these guys are just, you know, got like a team. What's the strike force? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Just like team gear for their MMA studio. And, you know. Team Chode Punch. Yeah, just like team gear for their MMA studio. Team Chode Punch. Yeah, exactly. It really is, and I really think there is, there have been certainly, I think, the series The O.C. and the movie Orange County were kind of talking about kind of like the rich side of O.C. life,

which I think is an interesting thing to shed light on, you know, the people who have money and choose to live in Orange County. But I think also, too, kind of the working class Orange County sector is just like a really interesting segment of the population. It's basically just like, you know, rednecks who have access to the beach. Sure, yeah. And it's just like... So a jet ski instead of an ATV. Or in addition to.

They can have both. And it's a really interesting demographic that I feel like there's some work of fiction yet to be written perhaps by OC native Jordan Morris about this group of people. I'm just going to call them the swamp people of the ocean. Yes, yeah. I just started calling myself OC Jord. Grab a social DT. I think all three of us are fans of the television program Bar Rescue. Absolutely.

100%. Great. It's a great program. I would say if you want to watch it, turn on Spike at any point. It's either him or Adam Carolla yelling at a contractor who doesn't speak English. Yes, that is usually what goes on on Spike. And then a King Tut miniseries, apparently. And yeah, and I think that I really love the Bar Rescue episodes that are set in Orange County

because that is the first time I have seen that on TV accurately. because that is the first time I have seen that on TV accurately. Just that kind of, right, that special kind of like fun dirt bag. Yeah, and I think that when you do see Orange County on TV, it is talking about the wealthy children of- Laguna Beach. Yeah, yeah, the too much money gadabouts. But yeah, there's a lot of uh neck tattoo uh shit bags that totally that that need to be represented the guys who are in the gym just doing bicep curls

sure and uh you know have big beer guts and wear sleeveless shirts and have huge arms yeah they've got yeah and they've got nice tans um and uh they they own wave runners it's it's just like yeah it's such an interesting uh uh, group of people. And I think that, and I think the, the, I think really what we're saying is here is that hopefully next week's guest will be OC Mark. Uh, if anybody knows him, I mean, if the caller is listening and can get in touch with OC Mark, please, uh, have him, uh, have him give us a call. We'd love to talk to him.

Um, and, uh, yeah, maybe he can shed some light as to whether or not he thinks Social D got worse when Mike Ness got clean. I don't know. Some people say that. Some people say that white light, white heat, white trash was a downward slide for them. I don't know. I'm not going to weigh in yet. Great. Well, I think we have one more call in the call grab bag. Let's hear it. Hey, JJ Goode. This is Mike in D.C. It's a momentous occasion. I'm walking to work and I saw a car drive by. It was one of those services

that will come and pick up your dog's poop from the lawn. And the phone number was on the side of the car. And it was 877-POOP-911. That was the greatest phone number I've ever seen. Have a good one, guys.

Bye-bye. This guy said, this guy described the service like it was something that I would have heard of. Have a good one, guys. Bye-bye. This guy said, this guy described the service like it was something that I would have heard of. I didn't know this existed. This is one of those things, because I was,

I showed you this, Jordan. There's a service, I feel like the new, we've talked about this before, the two of us, where it feels like the new tech thing is Uber for blank.

Like, it's like, this is Uber for some reason. This sounds like Uber for dog, dog do pickup. And this was one where it's like, but I saw a service recently that was like basically Uber for taking out your trash. Yeah. So the idea of like, they would go into your house, bundle up your garbage from the trash can and then take it out to the curb, which is like, why do you need like an app for that?

But yeah, I had no idea this thing existed. Yeah, I am definitely an old man when it comes to that. Of course, like, just do that yourself, fucking baby. So yeah, interesting. Well, Poop 9-11, it was an awful day. I think we all remember where we were when Poop 9-11 happened. So I don't understand who's the summer boy in that. Is it the dog that's the summer boy?

They just kind of can shit wherever they want and someone else deals with it? I think this falls into another category of call we get, which is momentous occasion. Oh, okay. So yeah, but yeah, I think in that situation, the dog is the summer boy because he's living it up. You know how summer goes. You shit where you want and someone else deals with it. Sure, and then your owner has an app. Also, in all fairness, I'm sure it was Poop 911.

Sure. Like a poop emergency. Yeah, it's a choice to read it as Poop 911. Yeah, that's your baggage, dude. We'll be right back on Jordan, Jesse, go. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, Most Chinese immigrant. So we are approaching the wrap-up of the show, but we've all had these various small beverages by our chairs since we've opened them. Let's talk about how we are feeling. We've all been kind of absentmindedly drinking them, as I'm sure you can tell by the slurring that's made its way into the show. by the slurring that's made its way into the show.

But let's talk about where we are, which one you've drank the most of, and what your state is right now. Well, you know, I rather presciently predicted that I'd be finished with all three of these. I'm as terrible as this is. I'm still about three-quarters of the way done with this Bud Light Straw Burrito, and I finished the other two. Oh, wow, yeah. The Mike's Heart.

Yeah, like I was just saying during the break to the two of you, it's not a good sign when you have what feels like a hangover headache while you're drinking, and I feel like that's what I have now. You've skipped fun buzz. Yeah, I've skipped that. I don't have the fun buzz. I just have like a headache, and I just feel like my vision is blurred, and I just generally feel unpleasant. You've got fun buzz and gone right to mad at wife.

So I'm halfway done with the Bellini. I'm almost done with the Mike's classic margarita. I had a physical last week. I'm in perfect health. I just peed blood. So I don't know which one of the three did it. Hard to say. Hard to say. Hard to say. Yeah. I maybe couldn't.

I had to keep an eye on my drinking a little bit as I'm the one who drove here. But I have almost finished with the Bellini. I have not touched the other ones. Yeah, it's been fun to sip on. But, yeah, my mouth now tastes like it's just been full of starbursts. And, yeah, I feel a little bit of wooziness like I was just kicked. Yeah. So, yeah, all in all, malt beverages get a big get out of here.

We haven't figured out the rating scale yet. We'll fix this in post. Well, great. This has been a ton of fun. Thank you to everyone who gave us a call, who's been suggesting various malt beverages to drink, even though they were terrible.

Nick, as we mentioned a couple of times, you have a great podcast called The Doughboys with our pal Mike Mitchell, who Jordan and Jesse Goh fans might remember as being on the show a couple of months back. It's sincerely a great show. I really love listening to it. And I think it makes eating more fun.

And it really has, I think, enriched my life because I like hearing about how much you guys love food. I like trying it myself. It's a real joy. Awesome. Yeah. I mean, you can check out the show. It's on Feral Audio. You can follow the show's Twitter account, at DoughboysPod.

Yeah, and Vanessa, you're on Twitter and, as always, are a delight on there. I think we were talking about your – is your moniker still the Kate Middleton of Arby's? Yes. Okay. Yeah, I mean, there are often imitators. Somebody, like, followed me and then changed their bio to the Kate Middleton of Wendy's. Don't be fooled. Yeah.

She's not about that life. Full of shit. But yes, you are. And that Ramos girl. That's it. Which I, real quick, is a stupid name. But when I back when I used to do stand up, a lot of people, like mostly guys, wouldn't learn names.

So they'd be like, ah, that Ramos girl. Sure. So it was functional at the time. It was functional at the time. Now I just seem like an idiot. It's a handle. No, I think it's a fine handle. As far as like jokey handles go, it's great.

You're not, you know, whatever. Juggalo 420 or something. I would give it a get out of here or whatever. Right. It's on our face scale. Yeah. Do you know who actually has at Vanessa Ramos? Probably someone in the Inland Empire that's 14. Yeah. Do you know who actually has at Vanessa Ramos? Probably someone in the Inland Empire that's 14.

Yeah. That's a good guess. You're writing for a television program as we speak. It's called Superstore. Indeed. It will be on NBC at some point. NBC in the spring. Yeah.

Also, I wrote for Border Town on Fox, which airs January 3rd. Hey, there you go. There's a date you can put on your cow right now for some quality television. Yes, Jesse Thorne back next week in theory. And yeah, so thank you everybody who listens. Why don't you hashtag JJGo on Twitter if you want to talk about the show with other fans or maybe suggest some malt beverages for a future malt beverage episode. Like the show on Facebook.

And, hey, tell a friend. If you like the show, tell a friend. Maybe put up a nice note on social media in a way that a normal person could understand. That's not just a big old inside joke. Great. That's all. Thanks for listening. Bye.

Bye. Maximumfun.org. Comedy's all. Thanks for listening. Bye.