Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 392: Happy Anal August with Eliza Skinner

Episode Date: August 31, 2015

Comedian and writer Eliza Skinner joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of Jesse's son Simon and his ever expanding universe of characters, Jordan's recent viewing of Harry Potter and the long lost cause of saving the whales.  Plus, Koko from The Pleasure Chest stops in to help everyone realize the true meaning of Anal August. 

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. I got an update on the weather real quick here. Yeah? You know, it's funny. I'm anxious to hear because I haven't noticed the weather. Yeah, so my, you know, my car dashboard says the temperature, the exterior temperature on it.

It said 423 degrees. Does that seem right to you? Yeah. I mean it's – give or take. It might be a little bit off. You might want to go and recalibrate it. But yeah. It's a hot one.

I have – this is going to be a real – the top of this show is going to be full of updates. Okay. Just because there's just a couple things that I have to cover. We talked a little bit last week about my son's mortal enemy, the eyes and nose light. Okay. Which is a street lamp outside my house. Okay. It does not have an eyes or noses affixed to it, right?

No. This is just something maybe that – Vaguely resembles – When it reflects in a certain way. Yeah. It has like a sort of shade, a vertical shade that goes around the end of it to keep it from shining in people's houses. But that vertical shade is not completely aligned with this lamp itself. Yeah.

And so there's like a little bit of bleed. And in a way, you could sort of say that it sort of looks like an eyes and nose. Okay. If you're a three-year-old. Sure. Which is when he declared that it was the eyes and nose light. Yeah. Eyes and nose light has a friend called Gonker Light.

Okay. I don't know. Do you know what this is, where it's coming from? Now, that's one of the interesting things about Gonker Light. Okay. I don't know. Do you know what this is, where it's coming from? Now, that's one of the interesting things about Gonker Light. I do not. Gonker Light appeared in the Eyes and Nose Light narrative last week without explanation and with no explanation proffered when I queried my son. Do you think this is just kind of like, you know, like 80s and 90s sitcoms when, you know, ratings took a dip, you add a character?

Do you think Gonker Light is like Burt Reynolds guest shot? Yeah, or, you know, like adding a – like when the cute kid joined Married with Children. Yeah. Or like a cuter dog replaced buck. When they upgraded the amount of cuteness. I guess what I'm asking is it your son's sweeps week? Yeah, I think it must be because Gonker Light is new. filled with children and children's toys dressed up in costumes so that the so that the eyes and nose light and gonker light don't recognize them i mean that's that's smart it's and you know i

appreciate the you know he's being preemptive about it i mean like the question i mean the real question that it suggests is like what if gonker Light recognized Mama Gorilla? What would the consequences be? What does Mama Gorilla address as? As Simon the Astronaut. Okay. Simon the Astronaut, that's my son's name. He has informed us helpfully. Simon the Astronaut is often addressed as an explorer,

which is ordinarily Oscar. My younger son is Oscar the Explorer. Also, my son Simon has informed me. And the Explorer thing. So Simon dresses as Oscar. I don't know what Oscar dresses as. Maybe Simon's plan is to kind of let Oscar be the, you know that old joke that says, I don't have to know how to run faster than a bear.

I just know how to run faster than you. Sure. Maybe that's Simon's plan with Gonker Light. He's setting up Oscar to be bait. He's baiting him. comedian, writer, actress, bon vivant, celebrated comedy theater rapper, Eliza Skinner. Hi. Hi, Eliza. I wasn't sure if I could talk.

I'm good. How are you? I'm well. Hearing this story, I'd like to relate something from my own life. I recently, yeah. I've been gonking a little. Well, it's really tough for me because Gonker Light and I dated and it didn't end well. So it's weird to hear about him.

Right. And you know that Gonker Light is with Facelight. Facelight. Eyes and nose light. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, I'm happy for him. You know, I'm happy. I'm fine.

But I just would appreciate you guys – stop. Don't rub it in my face, please. I had no idea. Give me time to heal. I feel like – it sounds like Eyes and Mouth. Eyes and Nose Light. Eyes and Nose Light. Both are mouth diseases.

Who was just like – was brought on the scene, yeah, as something exciting and then just didn't do anything. And so I think Gonker like – Yeah, sure. I think he's up in the narrative. Got it. He's like, we got to get some action in here. This is a stakes raising. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Did Simon save the cat at some point? Yeah, probably. Literally dressed it up and saved it. From getting eaten by Gawkerlite. It's kind of where I'm at with this is I recently – I'll be a little cagey about this. Did a little bit of writing for a popular internet concern that goofs on popular films. And because of this freelance job, I had to watch the last Harry Potter movie.

So I guess the last Harry Potter story, they bisected into two movies. That's how they do. And I thought I could get away with just watching the last of the Harry Potter movies because that was what I had to write the jokes for. And, you know, I'm like, oh, I don't want to turn this, you know, two and a half hour endeavor into a five hour endeavor. Yeah. All you have to really know, one would assume, is like Gryffindor, whiff and poof. Sure. Oh, I think you're right.

Yeah, that's Harry Potter's Yale a cappella group he was part of. You clearly don't even know that. Yeah. Yeah, they do that with all the movies now. Yeah. Like the last book in the trilogy gets split into two or a million if it's The Hobbit and I know that wasn't the last. Anyway, you go.

Sure. Yeah. And I know a little – like I have – I think during a summer job once where I had to sit in a booth, I read a Harry Potter book. Is that a top secret job also? No, I worked. No, no, this is not. This is something I could talk about. It was for Lake Mission Viejo. There's a when the cars come in, you need to flick a switch to raise a to private arm to private lake. Yeah. So if someone shows a pass, you flip the switch and then you go back to your Harry Potter book. Nice.

And I've seen a couple of the movies like on – in like date scenarios. I date children. Or childlike adults. But I don't really know – I would have a hard time saying what Harry Potter thing took place when. What Harry Potter thing took place when? So I just stand alone, sat down to watch this last movie. And it was like an art film to me. It was so nonsensical.

Like, like, there's so many flashbacks. People have shared consciousnesses. I don't know who any of the characters are. Like, it may as well have been Unshin Andalou. Like, it was so, like, crazy and cutting. and cutting and there were all these like meaningful shots of people I had never seen before and I don't understand the magical rules of the world. Harry Potter, no. And then the scalpel cuts into the animal. Right. Yes, exactly.

Yeah. And then there's a duplicate shot putting it over the moon. Got it. And then they're collecting tears at some point. I don't know why they're collecting tears. It does something. It was so baffling. I had to – I then decided to go back and watch that first part of the second one.

Did not clear anything up. How do kids follow this? It's crazy. Anyway. Well, wasn't that sort of the thing that the Harry Potter books evolved as like a kid would age? So like they got more complex. Oh. As it went on.

So you start out as a whimsical, simple child, and then you move to a nonsensical teen. A tortured Dadaist. Sure, yeah. My dad traveled a lot when I was a kid, and I always wanted – he would bring me comic books from different countries, which I obviously couldn't read. But I loved them, especially the sillier ones. And it has translated into like really loving watching comedy that I can't understand in other languages.

Just like the rhythm of it. And yeah, when it's divorced from meaning, it's just like, what are these faces people are making? What is it? Why from meaning, it's just like, what are these faces people are making? What is it? Why? I love it. Is this a prime minister they're making fun of? Yeah. It becomes musical.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is how I feel about Simon's fantasy world is it's very hard to follow. I'm sure if you're entrenched in the fiction of it, then you can probably follow it a little better. If you're entrenched in the fiction of it, then you can probably follow it a little better. No, I mean, I think that's one of the central tenets of this world is that there are a set of rules which we are all playing by, but only Simon knows them. Okay, sure. That's sort of the concern. I also, by the way, have an update on Blanket. Like a game master or a key master?

Yeah, exactly. Okay. I haven't asked him, are you the key master? Oh. But I think I'll find out. I also have a quick blanket plump update, if you don't mind. Oh, sure. Blanket plump, Eliza, since you weren't here last week,

is my son with a blanket over his head. Oh, so it's some of his character work. Yeah, this is his... He's sort of... He's working on a Mad TV audition and I have not had the heart to tell him that it was literally canceled before he was born. You know, there's always rumors that they're going to bring it back. So maybe – His hero is Matt Bronger.

Oh, sure. He just wants to do anything Bronger. Oh, sure. Okay. So what he does, it's like a way that he gets out of bed. He comes and we say, Simon, you're supposed to be in bed. And he says, it's not me. It's Blanket Plump.

So my wife texted me. I went out of town recently, briefly. And my wife texted me. And she said, it's bedtime. Simon's been asking a thousand questions and trying to texted me and she said it's it's bedtime simon's been asking a thousand questions and trying to engage me in conversation i finally say good night and leave the room a minute later he comes out of his room with the blanket over his head you need to get back in bed simon it's not me it's blanket plump i don't care who you are you need to get back in

bed i take the blanket off his head as i walk him to his room he looks at me and says do dogs have jobs it's like you know what i feel i was i was going i was going to make you go to bed but this is a big question i feel like it's a it's just segwaying into a great setup like yeah what's this punchline? I want to hear the dogs with jobs bits. Honestly, it would be from my act. I'm surprised I don't have that. Yeah, I mean – That is some Eliza Skinner material.

Yeah, I mean these are – I think these are like the big questions that you want to make time for as a parent. And I think who better than me to comment on what you should be doing as a parent. You know, where do babies come from? Where do we go when we die? Do dogs have jobs? These are like big things that a kid remembers. You want to have an answer. And if you don't have an answer, you better have a good rabbi.

Sure. Yeah. There's like literally 30, 40 percent of the Talmud is on the question of whether dogs have jobs. So does a – like a – I did not – I was not aware. Yeah. There's like also like 15 pages about whether shellfish have jobs. Oh, sure.

So is that what gets read in a bar mitzvah? Yeah, exactly. In Hebrew, I mean you have to memorize it and you memorize a passage about whether dogs have jobs. So as I understand it, and I think I am as qualified to comment on Judaism as I am parenting. Sure. That the – Well, I think we both are. The shellfish and the dogs cannot have jobs in the same place, right? That's my understanding.

They cannot be employed by the – Not if it's kosher, yeah. Sure, yeah. Yeah. Although, you know, the Supreme Court has put that into a legal gray area. Yeah, well, thanks a lot, Scalia. Okay. One more update.

That's what your shirt says. Oh, yeah, sorry. Oh, by the way, just hit me up on Cafe Press if you want a thanks a lot, Scalia, T-shirt. It's kind of a little side business I have. So, you know, anytime anything happens, you know, that's noteworthy, you just point to your T-shirt. Thanks a lot, Scalia. I have one other note about what's going on in my family life. I mean, it's a crazy week because Simon just started a new level of school and Oscar, my younger son, just started school.

I mean, I'm talking about nursery school. So, you know, like I think just everyone is on edge and things are a little bonkers. But it's been super, super hot here in Los Angeles. He went outside and my wife said to him, I was sitting in the living room and he went out our front door. And my wife said to him, you know, Simon, isn't it a little hot outside to be outside? And he said, no, it doesn't bother me and my wife said you must have a really high heat tolerance then it's really i mean it was like 96 degrees outside and he said this is a direct quote i wrote this down on my telephone here

i have a special permission gump that helps me stay warm when I'm outside. Hmm. Oh. So I don't know where he got the gomp. Sure. I feel like I would love to get one. This may be a Harry Potter thing, actually. Don't they get a permission gomp if they want to go to Gringotts? Yeah, I think it is a permission gomp. Is that a type of gross jelly bean? Yeah, I think there's like one in every bag.

Sure. I think it's kind of a legal frog. I should have studied. Do frogs have jobs? Oh, boy. That's a big question. That is the only job that they're allowed to take. Well, look, here's the story.

Okay. It's very hot outside. Yes. You know why? Because it's August. Not just any August. Anal August. You've hot outside. Yes. You know why? Because it's August. Not just any August. Anal August. You've got it.

Yeah. Jordan, ever the enterprising podcast producer. Sure. And let it never be said that Jordan fails to put in the work necessary to make this a truly great program. Jordan, did you go to the Pleasure Chest? I called. You called. Yeah.

Jordan used a telephone, a communications device, to call the Pleasure Chest, the home of Anal August, near Jordan's house, and ask if someone from, someone essentially representing Anal August, would come and visit our program. So when we come back, a representative from Anal August will be here to talk about pies and cakes. Sure.

If dogs have jobs. If dogs have jobs. We're going to get to the bottom of Analogous and really celebrate it. Sure. Get to the bottom. We'll be back in just a second. I'm Jordan Jesse Gull. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Hey, folks, this is Kevin Allison of the Risk Podcast, a proud member of the Maximum Fun family.

If you've never heard Risk before, you've got to check it out. Risk is where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share in public, stuff you could never hear on NPR. This is where writers, comedians, and people of all walks of life drop the act and get as raw and real as it gets. You know you love stories. Why not check out the show where you'll hear the most unforgettable ones you've ever heard? Check out Risk today.

We are free on iTunes, of course, and we're at MaximumFun.org or at Risk-Show.com. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, Yeah. They have those traditional banshee values. Yeah, and I'm like, I'm different. I'm a millennial banshee. Sure. You're going to go smoke behind the bowling alley. Yeah, I have all these trophies for nothing. I don't want to just haunt leprechauns. Is that what banshees do? I don't know.

They just scream a lot, right? I feel like the only banshee I'm familiar with is that maybe there's a banshee in Darby O'Gill and the Little People. Okay. Like maybe the bad guy in Irish themed 1970s Disney comedy Darby O'Gill and the Little People.

Not familiar. He's a Banshee. Maybe you'll be able to answer this, Eliza. 80s X-Men? Banshee? Oh, 90s. Yeah, maybe 80s also.

I became familiar with him in the 90s. Sure. He was on X-Force or like he led X-Force when they were like, this is where we're going to have all these teens are going to be. What's X-Force? Is that the Canadian one? No, that was – Alpha Flight.

Yeah. And there was Excalibur too. No, X-Force was – New Mutants became the X-Force. So it was like teenagers. What's Excalibur? That's the UK X-Teamce, New Mutants became the X-Force, so it was like teenagers. What's Excalibur? That's the UK X-Team. Got it. Yeah, man.

Things exploded in the 90s X-World. Yeah. Had to have a lot of different teams. Then they had Generation X. Oof. Don't get me started. Yeah. I always appreciate it.

I worked with Eliza for a little bit and really always appreciated that I could come to her with a question about 80s and 90s X-Men. And she would always have a good, concise answer. Thank you. You should put – OK. So I think we figured out some great stuff here. Eliza, you can put that on your resume. OK. Over the break, Jordan, we learned that you can put Head Size Problem Solver on your resume.

Sure. So, yeah. I mean if we can figure out something that Brian is good for, then we are set. Just kidding. Brian's the greatest. He's good for a lot. He's the best.

Pleasant giggles. So before the break, before the break, we teased that we were going to be talking about Analogist with a representative from Analogist. She's been kind enough

to join us here in the studio from the Pleasure Chest in West Hollywood, California, Coco. Hi, Coco. How are you? Hello. I'm good. It's hot out. It is hot out. It's hot in here too. Yeah, sure. I'm not going to lie to you, Coco. Yeah, it is a little stuffy. Okay. So first of all, we want to get some kind of sense. For a lot of people, Anal August is just a phrase that jordan saw in a window once six years ago sure that no one has ever stopped bothering us about yeah that's amazing i had no idea that people knew what anal august was outside of our you know regular customer well i mean i don't know

if if i don't know who runs the twitter account but I do remember for a while people were tagging our show, Anal August, and you guys in tweets. I don't know if that was a phenomenon that you saw, but it is – it was this kind of just weird one-off joke as saying happy Anal August to each other, and now it's a phenomenon. I totally put that in a memo before. Like twice this month, actually. Well, I mean, you're a phenomenon. I totally put that in a memo before. Like twice this month. Sure. Well, I mean, you know, you're a professional. You know how to write a professional email. There's probably a lot of rock solid memos at the pleasure chest.

Sure. Memoranda. Rock hard memos. That's vulgar. I'm sorry. Unnecessarily vulgar. Do you remember what the topic of the memo was? It was just Anal August. Okay. So I was like, happy Anal August memo was? It was just Anal August.

Okay. So it was like, happy Anal August. Here are the things about Anal August. Okay. So let's talk about what the things are about Anal August. Well, we were doing this promo for the beginning, which we had never done for Anal August before. It was just like for every purchase you spent over $25 before tax, you got a free butt plug. And this is our way of kind of educating about Anal August.

And a lot of – because we do free workshops once a week. And so for the month of, you know, anal August, a lot of them are anal focused. So. And education is, I have always said, I'm with Laura Bush on this. Education is so important. You know what I mean? Yeah, sure. Like that's so close to my heart. And not just in anal August the whole year around but particularly in Analogous when the kids are out of school and so on and so forth. Sure. Can you describe the free butt plug at all? I mean, I know by the time people hear this, it's probably too late to get the free butt plug.

But maybe just for next year if you want to, you know, get excited. Kind of like a bowling pin. Okay. Yeah. Like bowling pin size and shape? No, not a bowling. Just the shape of a bowling pin. Okay. Yeah. Like bowling pin size and shape? No, not a bowling – just the shape of a bowling pin. It's about, I don't know, like a couple inches or something. That looks like a four or five inch.

Four or five. Four or five. Okay. I'm really terrible with numbers. But it's about this big. Sure. It looks like a bowling pin. So listen carefully.

It has a base on it because – We don't want to go into the butt never to return. Yes. Without a base, without a trace. So that's one of our anal august mantras you guys are so good with the phrases yeah marketing geniuses jesus no i think that's just like a common thing in the you know okay you're not saying that you guys made it up we really love to push that. And do you – I mean – Eliza, again, that is – Come on. We're trying to have a mature discussion about a butt holiday.

I'm sorry. Keep talking. What did Laura Bush think right now? So what are some – so, okay, so there's a free butt plug involved. What other kinds of things have you guys done to celebrate, you know, whether it was this year or other years? Mostly the workshops. Okay.

What are some of the – You know, I don't know if you know this, Jordan. Our colleague at MaximumFun.org, Kevin Allison, is a butt workshop teacher. Oh, my gosh. I mean, his primary business is teaching storytelling. Oh, my gosh. I mean, his primary business is teaching storytelling. But Kevin travels the world to things teaching.

It's like his workshop is, I'm trying to remember from his Facebook. It's like 20 things you can do with a butt besides put a dick in it or something like that. Okay. Oh, that's nice. Isn't that nice? He's a nice guy, too. He is a really nice guy. He's a lovely man. He's a lovely human being.

I like him. Do you see – can you guys sense the excitement around the holiday? Because, I mean, we can definitely hear it at the podcast. But, like, when you're around the store or, you know, in the weeks leading up to it, is there a palpable thrill in the air? I think it's just – Analog August is a fun thing to say. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, if it's anal August. Do you have other themed

months? No, I think anal August is a special month. Not as popular as Speculum September. Gross, Jessie. Although amongst a certain group, that's probably not true. That's true, yeah. Because if you're into Speculum September, you're really into it. Although amongst a certain group, that's probably not true. That's true, yeah. There is probably –

Because if you're into Speculum September, you're really into it. There's a market. Yeah. So, yeah. So – Does anal – look, you work in the shop. You're familiar with the sales numbers. You get a bump from Analogist?

We try to. Try to get a bump from Analogist. Well, of course you try to, Coco. That's the point of all marketing. It's mostly, I mean, it's not, I feel like Analogous isn't so much like we really need to raise our butt plug sales. Sure. I think it's more just like. Your butt plug sales are doing great already.

Yeah, they're doing really well. Sure. So it's mostly a time where we can just, you know, just talk about all things. But because especially around, you know, like the straight community, like anal was a really taboo thing. And over the years, it's something that, you know, people are talking a lot about more and it's not like, oh, never there. It's kind of like, ooh, like it's become this kind of more exciting sexual trend.

And so we kind of focus on that and like how to do it safely, all the ways, you know, if a lot of people are scared about anal, but there are a lot of questions and we just like to dedicate four weeks of the year to just really focusing on anal education. Just laser in. Yeah. So yeah. Laser in. Again, Eliza. This is just –

At some point, I have to question whether you're actually a professional. I've held back so many of them, guys. There's been more? Of course. You asked if they got a bump. Yeah, you're right. But sorry. So what – yeah, so what are the most common questions that come up during Analogist? When somebody sees a sign in the window, they come in and say, I can't help but notice it's Anal August. I happen to have this question about butts.

That isn't really, I mean, usually people just have questions about butts like every day of the year. And during Anal August, it's more of like a chuckle like, oh, it's Anal August. Or I didn't know it was Anal August. It never really starts any questions. People, if they're coming in with questions about anal, they're probably doing it no matter what month it is. Does it end any questions? Like do you ever have a situation where somebody says, you know, I'm curious as to whether I should be trying anal.

It's something I've been interested in. And then somebody just drops the hammer on them and says, yeah, it's Anal August. Yes. I love doing that where I'm like, well, it's analogous. And we've got all these workshops, you know, if you want to try out pegging or a lot of people are like, I want to try a butt plug for the first time, but I'm really scared. And it's like, well, it's great. You know, we have this class coming up. So it is like it's anal and we get really excited and, you know, oh, you're going to get this free butt plug. Okay. So let's talk about what are the subject matters of the particular workshops taught during Anal August.

Pegging, as I previously touched upon. Pegging, as coined by Dan Savage, that's when a dude receives anal penetration from a toy that a lady is operating. Yes. Is that right? Well, it's usually on a harness. So it's more of that kind of – it has a lot of power play to it in that respect. That's gotten more popular, right? Yeah, definitely.

I know. I'm so happy for pegging. No. You know? popular right yeah definitely i know i'm so i'm so happy for pegging like no you know it's usually it's do you think it's tied to the popularity of the mobile game peggle probably isn't i think it's tied to candy crush oh yeah sure um so interesting so what's a if someone wants to to get into pegging it seems like there's maybe a a rig or a starter kit one needs. Yeah, like podcasting. Yeah, right. Exactly.

Do you guys have some My First Pegging sets? Well, they're strap-on sets, like beginner strap-on sets. And you can use, I mean, a hole is a hole, so it doesn't really matter which one it's going to as far as a starter kit goes. There are anal trainer kits as well, which is just like a butt plug, usually a series of three with graduating sizes. So if someone is interested in trying pegging or is curious about pegging, I feel like the first thing they should do is probably we have the butt sex basics class.

So just general, if they've never tried it before or you have a lot of questions in dealing with the butt because no one talks about it, they can come to one of those classes. They get an idea of like what feels good, what they shouldn't do, what they should be doing, and then eventually work their way up to be like, all right, we can go purchase a harness, go purchase the dildo, and then of course a really great lube. Not like a B-minus lube you know not like a b minus lube no not not for the butt you really want to go because the ass does not self-lubricate which is another analogous mantra sure yeah that one rhymes less yeah it's a little less it's got to be really straightforward yeah because you have so many people who come in and don't realize that and it's just like do you have a good lube for this and they're like what's lube seriously people ask about they don't realize that. And it's just like, do you have a good lube for this? And they're like, what's lube? Seriously.

People ask about, they don't know what lube is. You have to explain, well, you know, the vagina is self-lubricating. So you don't really have to worry about lube as much, though it helps, you know, sex last longer. But the butt, like you absolutely need lube, you know. That's the key, right? Yeah. The key is lube and a lot of relaxation so sure so you

want to have some enya on while this is happening in the class so i've taught about sex uh basic class you and i talk about like the importance of mood and like really relaxing yourself so i'm like if it's marilyn manson whatever if it's enya that's great just anything that gets you for most people it's marilyn manson i so. That's what I'm pushing for. Ideally. That's what I have. Except for Rose McGowan. Am I right?

Hey. That's what they play at my massage therapist. Yeah, sure. I put on Manson. Yeah. If that helps you relax your butthole, go for it. That's the same thing my massage therapist does. Good.

I'm glad. Well, we carry so much tension in our butts tension that would be such a great aim for a musician like i just want to make the type of music that relaxes a butthole i think that's really great it's humanitarian work loose butt core so okay so there seems like there are a lot of good classes for beginners. What if you what if you have done butt stuff before? Do you have something for the more experienced? So we have extreme sex.

There's a sex educator. He's more known. You know, he's in he's really big in the gay leather community. So he's known in the class that he teaches kind of like the advanced butt sex ones is extreme sex. So that one involves like fisting and any kind of piss play or just like some really like dirty what you would think of when you think of extreme sex. The shit Enya's into in her personal life.

Is he now here's my question about this educator. Now, here's my question about this educator. My limited experience with people who are interested in extreme sexuality is that they're like almost comically genial. Is that your experience with this gentleman who teaches about piss play? I don't understand the question. Why would it be comically? No, I mean just like – No. Just like – Super friendly. Like real Jimmy Olsen types.

Yeah, like nicer than the average person. Yeah, like – No, I mean he's just as nice as any average – it's not like – So average amount of nice. Yeah. He's not – like there are some people who are like really excited and just like, oh, feel so relaxed about teaching and they're just naturally very people people. But then there are other people who are just professional and nice.

And he's kind of he's a bit of both. Like he is just generally a very nice guy. I don't think it has to do with the fact that he's into fisting. Sure. But I mean, obviously, I mean, there probably is a connection. Like, I mean, we're talking about relaxation. And obviously, if this is something something this person is into, they're probably pretty relaxed. From what I understand about Damon is he's more of a giver than a receiver when it comes to this thing.

It's funny you mentioned Jimmy Olsen, Jesse, because that is what Kevin Allison looks like. He seems like a grown-up Jimmy Olsen. Yes, Superman's friend, Jimmy Olsen. Yeah. Rode up Jimmy Olsen. Yes, Superman's friend, Jimmy Olsen. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. So I also noticed – this is something we talked about I think on the last show is that the display window, which is mainly how I'm familiar with the holiday, changed this year. Now, does it not explicitly say Analogous? I think it has a slogan like I want to be your power bottom. Oh, yeah. We changed it up a little bit this year. I should mention just so you know, Coco, Jordan knows it mostly from the display window. I know it mostly from my far side page a day calendar. Throughout 8 and August, it's on each page.

So, yeah. Do you know anything about the decision to change the window? I think it's just to come up with things that are more exciting. I think it's like there's another one. It's like Kiss My Sass. Okay. Power Bottom. And then, I don't remember the other one. There's another one. Okay.

Yeah, and I guess I was just disappointed not to see the phrasing. I think it's still kind of like in small print maybe just like hashtag Anal August. Okay. Yeah. Which is a fun hashtag. I mean, it's fun to talk about Power Bottoms too. As much as fun Which is a fun hashtag. I mean, it's fun to talk about power bottoms too. As much as fun it is to say the words anal August, power bottom is a really fun thing to talk about.

Why don't you define power bottom? All right. Okay. So I assume you're all straight. Yes. Okay. This is the education of straight people. Yeah. I do this on an almost daily basis. So a lot of straight people assume when it comes to gay sex that there's always got to be someone who's just like, oh, is he the top or is he the bottom? Most times it's a little bit of both. Most people tend to be switches and it's not so easy to define. Some people will talk for others. It's very fluid's not like so easy to define like some people will top for others it's it's very fluid in that sense okay it's not just like yeah yeah very distinct like choose but there are some people who are who are like extreme like i'm just always a top and i'm always bottom but

the majority of people switch so a lot of i feel like a lot and i you know it's a lot to do with south park and just general straight people running everything who don't know. Wait, wait. How does South Park enter into this? A lot of like – you know, because straight white dudes being on TV, having their straight white dude joke, a lot of it they don't understand what it means or like what gay sex actually is. Sure. So it's always got to be like, oh, and they think it's really funny to just pen someone as a top or a bottom or a giver or a receiver. pen someone as a top or a bottom or a giver or receiver. So it's a lot more complicated that just because you bottom and this is where, you know, your power bottom doesn't mean you're necessarily like the more like feminine one or the like more sissy one.

And then they find their own, they empower themselves through being a bottom because there's nothing wrong with being a bottom. So that's where power bottom comes from. Yeah. You know, and I think that's, and I think that think that like goofing around aside, like I do like thinking about anal August as a time of year to expand your boundaries, to be open to new things. And it's kind of like funny to say, but I do genuinely like thinking about it as a time of year to try something new and to think about something

in a little bit of a different way. And humor is also important. I mean, it is like funny to talk about sex and I think, you know, absolutely we should laugh about it. And, you know, to understand like there's a lot more to sex than just being funny or gross. Like it can really make you be a better person. You understand yourself.

You're allowed to love yourself and explore yourself. And how, you know, in the words of RuPaul, how the hell are you going to love anybody else if you don't love yourself i think i said that wrong but either way you know you know okay you have to love yourself you have to know how to please yourself and love yourself before you can do that with the world you're saying to see that rupaul has sat in and i will tell you that the main mistake you made was you have to do it dramatically more charismatically. Astonishingly charismatically. I'm in my business mode right now. Got it.

So I got to be really straightforward. I get that. You know, I think it's a nice way to think about analogous too, Jordan, following up on what you were saying, is that certainly analogous has to do with butt education, Laura Bush, thinking about lube, good lube, all these things that we've been talking about. But I think in a more metaphorical sense, similar to the way that a lot of people think that the boner society is about penises when in fact it's about being all that you can be. I think that anal August is – this is a social organization that we promote from time to time. But I think that Anal August in a broader sense is not just about butt play, although certainly that's a part of it and I wouldn't take that away from it.

But I think expanding your boundaries and learning about new things in your life in general is a great way, whether it's about putting something in a butt or like, let's say, our friend Dave Shumka on Stop Podcasting Yourself,

our sister show. You know, every year, Dave Shumka makes rhubarb cordials. What if he made blueberry cordials? Sure. You know what I mean? August would be a great time of year to— That would be the perfect time of year because berries are in season.

Mm-hmm. And that would be a great time to switch up what type of cordials he makes. It would be a good, like, number two cordial. That's a good point, Eliza. Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I know I've been doing it too much

you guys are probably pooped you know I've been thinking of some way to incorporate the doggy style days of summer that's like where we're at I don't know sure because it's so hot yeah so maybe maybe one one last question before we before we before we bid adieu to analogous and say hello to

what the rest of the year has to offer us I'm hoping for a nipple November at some point. But, you know. Oh. We've got to get through sensual September and oral October first. I thought it was speculum September. Speculum September. Yeah.

Nipple November. Speculum September seems pretty specific. It could just be like big O for medical play or medical fetish. Sure. Yeah. They could just be generally just selling, you know, stirrups and doctor's tables and backless gowns. So I guess I feel about matters of the anus a lot like seeing Ant-Man and that I'm not explicitly interested in it. But if someone wanted to go, I would go.

What advice would you give to someone who is curious? What's the first step? Education. Okay. So one of these beginning classes? Yeah. I mean, or I'm just like a little hesitant to say the internet because some people don't want to get internet.

Yeah, that's never a good – There are a lot of books. There are a lot of great – Open up your – you probably have internet at work. Open up your work computer and just type in anal. On our website and our blog and stuff, we have a lot of short little articles about like, hey, if you're interested in getting to anal, you can pop into the store. We have a bunch of flyers and stuff that have like you know little um tips about

anal and stuff so i feel like it just from a reputable source like don't necessarily go to your best girlfriend or whoever and be like i'm interested in trying anal like how do you do it and it's not if she i don't know like some i'm sorry some friends give terrible advice like these friends who don't know what lube is exactly or so I would just recommend there are great books and stuff out there too a lot of people don't like

reading those the problem but they're also DVDs funny you should mention that this week we're sponsored by audible.com we're not just because you go to a class doesn't mean you have to Funny you should mention that. This week we're sponsored by Audible.com. We're not. Yeah, and just because you go to a class doesn't mean you have to do it. And just because you do it once doesn't mean you have to do it all the time, right?

So we do. Yeah. Expand your boundaries. Sure. Or it's just good to know. It's just good to know these things. It's a lot like karate in that sense. Sure, exactly.

It's not something you're always going to be using, but you can practice it for your own enjoyment in certain contexts, and if it comes up, you're ready. You'll be ready. You can use it to please a lover. Wax on, wax off. Maybe that should be one of our months. Medical play. Using karate. Martial arts, march. Martial arts,

sexuality. Martial arts? Martial arts. Sexual wood breaking. Well, arts, sexuality. Martial arts. Martial arts. Sexual wood breaking. Well, Coco, we're so grateful for you to have stopped by here to share all this information with us. week period where us and, you know, the tens of thousands of people in our listener community come together to, you know, to explore brave new worlds and seek out new civilizations. Thank you. That's very nice. We'll be back.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. Hello, buddies. I'm Travis McElroy. And I'm Andy Bolt. And we're the hosts of Bunker Buddies. We're a podcast where we're amateur survivalists and we talk about things like the apocalypse. And we talk about zombies and preparedness. What are you going to wear when it's the apocalypse?

And you have no idea if you don't listen to our show. It comes out every Wednesdays on MaximumFun.org and on iTunes. Sometimes we try weird foods or we talk about where to camp or how to avoid getting eaten or any of these things.

Yeah, so listen to us because it might just save your life. We'll see you in the bunker. Bye! It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la? Yeah, I think this is about anyone with a living, beating heart, the capacity to love, eyes and ears. And in fact, probably some people who are missing one or two of those things. Okay.

Probably not if you're missing all of them like – or if you're just dead. The living beating heart is that one you have to have. Eyes and ears I would say one out of two at least. And capacity to love is optional. But it helps. But if you've – you probably heard the laughter in the background. Our producer Brian Fernandez is back from London, England this week. We're delighted to have him back.

He spent a couple of months over in London, working on the television program, the Royals, on which he is a writer. We're grateful to have him back. Not least because it means he is here just in time for the premiere of season two of Brian and Lindsay. We'll totally eat that. Four people, two of Brian and Lindsay will totally eat that. For people

who might not have seen this internet television program, I think you should give a brief synopsis. Brian, of course, is a producer here at MaximumFun.org. Lindsay Pavlis is our donor relations coordinator and a very nice person from Orlando who goes out of her way to eat Subway.

We've talked about this on the show. And so we put together this show, Brian and Lindsay will totally eat that, in which we have them eat things. I picked the things. Is this still about Analogist? Eliza, the format of this show has changed drastically since you were on last. Brian is getting married soon and Lindsay is happily married. Okay, good, good. And I'm not going to make any presumptions about their marriage.

I mean, do what you want in your own life, but I don't need to watch. Sure, sure. Well, and YouTube has content restrictions, too. Exactly, so I'm going to kind of get around that. Put it on Vimeo. Put it on Vimeo. Put it on Vimeo. Then that's where you get the real stuff. Sell a subscription.

Things that... Ooh, a subscription. Oh, I was talking about... I was doing that about the money you would get from the subscription, not... Okay. You know. Sorry. Anuses.

I mean, that's fine. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that. You know what? I'm? That's fine. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that. You know what? I'm doing that about both. Okay. It's like if a Muppet ate somebody's butt. So the things, let's talk about things that Brian would eat.

While they were eating the butt, they would be waving the arms, their arms. Would the Muppet whose butt is getting eaten do the same? They both would at the same time. They would just have their mouth open and do that little side to side dance. You know, where they're like, yay. You know who's eating whose butt? The two aliens. One of them is going.

Butt play. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Butt play. One of them is just going around and around in a circle with the mouth. And the other one whose butt is getting eaten. Yeah. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Butt play. One of them is just going around and around in a circle with the mouth and the other one whose butt is getting eaten. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Stimulate the prostate. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

Uh-huh, uh-huh. Okay. So things Brian ate. Menop, menop. Let's talk about it. We gave him something called boy bowang. We gave him – and Lindsey as well. We had them eat chapulines, which is Oaxacan crickets.

We gave them something called a crunky bar. We actually – Brian on camera had his first ever alcohol, which is a mistake that I feel like I forced him into. And I feel pretty regretful about that. And it led him down a road of drunkenness. Yeah. And the alcohol in question was Malort. The Wormwood liqueur Malort. He also, I think Brian got the worst of it.

Brian had to eat this jellied eel, this English jellied eel, and he sort of threw up. And I'm going to say, there was a lot of discussion about how much of the close-up we could and should use, because that's how intense and gross it was. But he also ate some really great things. Anyway, there are like almost two

dozen episodes that we put together. They're all super short. We hope you will watch them and share them. They come out the day after this episode comes out. On September 1st they will be on themaximumfun.org YouTube channel. Just search for Brian and Lindsay will totally eat that. And please

watch them and share them. The hashtag is toteseat. And they're so fun. Brian and Lindsay are just fucking delightful human beings. They're just lovely, delightful human beings. And Lindsay in particular had never eaten anything interesting in her entire life. So she was really game for this. Like I really tip my hat to her for stepping – she was just down for whatever.

They both were. They both did a great job. And, yeah, they ate some really cool stuff in addition to the gross stuff. Some chips that were flavored like clams. That they ate some really cool stuff in addition to the gross stuff. Some chips that were flavored like clams. That doesn't sound like cool stuff. Like clam Pringles. Oh boy, the chip industry

is out of control. These were Japanese clam Pringles. Yeah, that's another thing. I love international comic books. I love international chips. What would you say is your top international chip we got some of them clam chips over in the closet really over yeah i would love to try that okay um what's your favorite international chip i mean my favorite you can have a top three um uh they have some

good haggis chips and all other crisps oh sure um i. Yeah, yeah. I like a South Carolina crab. Raspataz? A crab chip. Okay. We get some Utz crab chips. Yeah, yeah. Oh, they have them out here now? No, we imported them.

In fact, Brian and Lindsay ate Utz crab chips. Yeah, I like a crab chip. Those are probably the most interesting. I should clarify. South Carolina is not yet a different country from what we're in right now. Oh, I know. I was just – he said top. But culturally, it's a world away.

It is coming soon. I mean, if everything goes according to my plan, ideally we will separate this into two nations. Ugh, can't support that. I had the Lay's gyro chip. Gyro flavored chip. There's a gyro flavored chip?

Yeah, I guess what... Oh, this is part of the new four. Yeah, so what Lay's is doing is they are letting randos say what the chips are supposed to taste like. But not totally. They let everybody do it and then they pick four. So like – Yeah. Who knows?

Who knows? Sure. They had cappuccino last year. How was that? I don't know. I wasn't going to taste that. Yuck. I've got a standard to uphold.

I'll have these crab chips. Thank you very much. I love a crab chip. Eurochip. to uphold. I'll have these crab chips. Thank you very much. I love a crab chip. Euro chip. Delicious upon entering the mouth. Three seconds after you swallow, ghost fart. The aftertaste is so much worse than the taste, which is pretty good. I've seen a lot of people trying the biscuits and gravy one.

Oh, huh. Seems like a weird. That doesn't sound like a single taste. Well, and there's, so they peg them to different locations and the truffle fries I believe is like

Southern California. Like it's really, it's totally random. The ones they're like, this is the taste of truffle fries, you know, famous from San Diego. I don't. Sure. They put truffle fries in their burritos down from San Diego. I don't. Sure. Yeah, they put truffle fries in their burritos down there. Yeah. Weirdos.

A lot of people don't know that. Anyway, Brian and Lindsay will totally eat that. Toteseat.com you can go to or just go to the MaxFun YouTube page or go to MaximumFun.org. We are so proud of it. It was funded by literally thousands of MaximumFun.org supporters. It looks gorgeous. Ben Harrison and Noe Montez did a great job on it. And it is – they eat some shit, you know.

They get into it. They make it happen. Got crane shots and stuff. They make it – they fucking make it happen. No crane shots, though. No. Next season. I mean, we got some dolly shots probably.

That's pretty good. We got a pretty good dolly though. No. Next season. All right. No, I mean, we got some dolly shots, probably. That's pretty good. We got a pretty good dolly shot. Yeah. We got a guy, we got a special disembodied white glove that, like, shows you the food. Oh. That's pretty good. That's the crane shot of gloves. Like a green screen, like, cousin.

Was it cousin? Thing. It was thing. Yeah. Okay. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jessica. Love you. Love you.

Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. It's Jordan, Jesse Go.

Me? I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Eliza Skinner, banshee on the loose. Is there a banshee? Brian, do we have confirmation on whether Darby O'Gill and the Little People has a banshee in it? There is a banshee, that's confirmed. All right.

There was a banshee in a Casper story that I used to have on a tape that I would listen to when I was a little kid. It was the big villain. Everybody was like, be careful. If you don't – if we don't fix these problems, the Banshee is going to come. And then it turned out Banshee, just upset because it wanted candy. That's a nice lesson in tolerance. Point of clarification, Eliza. Casper the Friendly Ghost or Casper Weinberger, the Reagan-era defense secretary?

Oh, I would have to check. Okay. How friendly was he? Because that's probably a good way to tell. He was pretty friendly. And he was friends with a witch. Okay. Does that help? How did he stand on nuclear disarmament? Do you remember at all?

I did not get into it. Didn't come up in your little golden book Why have I been thinking so much about Casper Weinberger lately? I don't know He's got such a fun name to say There was a guy I went to middle school with He was his grandson It was always a real weird credit

Yeah You know what I mean? Yeah When they were bringing him out on talk shows Yeah It was like the kid from my grade school whose dad gave us Crystal Pepsi a month early. Whoa. Yeah.

Great credit. That's like the greatest thing that ever happened to anyone in 1991. Sure. Oh, man. I was like, this is going to be big. What did it taste? I don't remember. I don't remember her final ruling personally on what it tasted like. My vague memory is like a slightly fruitier Pepsi.

Or like a Van Halen guitar riff. Yeah. Because right now. Yeah. There's no tomorrow? How does that song go? Remember how hot Cindy Crawford was back then? Yeah.

Tasted sort of like that. Cool. I want to taste like that. Yeah. Me too. A bikini want to taste like that. Yeah, me too. A bikini working a vending machine. Some girls, they want to taste like a soda that tastes like Kathy Ireland. That's a good point.

It's too obvious. It's too accessible. Sure. I want a little more class. I had a middle school friend named Gabe. Gabe was all about Kathy Ireland. But he was deep into her bio. Like it wasn't just about like the Sports Illustrated bikini pics.

He's like actually Kathy Ireland is like – She's got a BFA in art history. Seriously though, her bio got even more interesting. She's like a killer businesswoman now. She's got like a bunch of different businesses. What's Ireland up to? I guess can you give us a little catch up? Is it just strictly B2B

stuff? I think that it's like I think she started with like interiors and then I don't know I read a whole article on her on some like airline magazine and you're stuck and so you're like well I guess I'm learning about Cathy Ireland now. Was it the New Republic? No.

Horizons. Yeah. It was the New Republic? No. Horizons. Yeah. It was probably Delta Inflate. Okay. Okay. That sounds great. Good for Kathy. Yeah.

I call her Kath. Oh, sure. Yeah. Because you guys are close. Well, it's short for catheter. Oh, that's weird. Now you're getting real weird about it. I'm just – Sounds like you've gotten a jump on for this in September.

Yay. Yay. Okay. Look, summer is coming to a close, but we still have one summer boy call left here. And I'm going to say this, Jordan. I say next week is our final week of summer boy. Okay. And next week's theme is summer boy colon bring me oh what do you think i'm intrigued what does this entail this entail this is a challenge i will send a call to arms

i will send a sorry i'm trying to punch up your description i think bring the heat was really good yeah oh you're punching up challenge i was punching Challenge. I'm issuing a call to arms. There you go. I'm issuing a call to guns. Yeah. Because the sun's going to be out. Yeah. Sun's out, guns out.

So here's what I say. Summer boy calling Bring the Heat. The single best summer boy call next week wins a very special MaximumFun.org prize pack. Oh, boy. I'm talking about a t-shirt. High stakes. And whatever other bullshit we find in the refrigerator. Bullshit.

From the refrigerator. It's good that it's going to be something. Perishables. Yeah, something you're going to mail that has to be refrigerated. I meant the closet. Okay. Which is pretty cool. They're about the same size and shape.

Yeah. Yeah. You can get water in both of them. In a lot of ways, a refrigerator is just a the closet. Okay. Which is pretty cool. They're about the same size and shape. Yeah. Yeah. You get water in both of them. In a lot of ways, a refrigerator is just a cold closet. That's what the old ad was. Yeah. Sure. Frigidaire.

In a lot of ways, the refrigerator is just a cold closet. That was a great episode of Mad Men where they came up with that. Yeah. Yeah. God, such an epic speech to get there. Yeah, I remember when he gave that presentation and then at the end of it peggy just went in a lot of ways it's a cool closet yeah so catchy uh he was coming off that bender the 11th hour you're 17 years old you're getting ready for the senior prom. In a lot of ways.

Your palms are sweating. But you've got the power of dreams in your eyes. You know you want to go someplace, but you don't know where it is. In a lot of ways. You need to get there and you don't know how you're going to. In a lot of ways. A refrigerator. In a lot of ways.

A refrigerator. Just like a closet. Just whatever. In a lot of ways. A refrigerator. It's just like a closet. It's just whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. This is if the show kept going into like 1975 and they were just on blow and just saying whatever came to their head.

But the gauntlet has been thrown down. Sure. This is going to be the final countdown, the final summer boy probably ever. the final summer boy probably ever. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So think back over your entire summer and as the title implies, bring the heat. Mm-hmm.

206-984-4FUN. I like this a lot. Brian is so excited. He's rocking back and forth, clapping and rubbing his hands together because he's looking forward to hearing your calls. Oh, wait. Now he's getting on a jet ski.

Whoa. Is that a sea dude? Wow. Where'd he get that Uncle Sam costume? He is so excited. Bonus points for tying in analogous somehow. Sure. Let's hear this week's summer boy call. Hello, host of Jordan

Jesse Go. This is Charlie from Missoula, Montana. I was afraid I wasn't going to have a good summer boy day this summer until Monday. Brian, can you pause this for a second? This guy lives in Missoula, Montana and he can't manage being a summer boy. Have you guys ever been to

Missoula, Montana? No. I haven't. Ask Chris Fairbanks. It's spectacular. Sure. It's big sky country. Yeah. It's a little slice of heaven from what I understand. If you can't do fucking summer boy shit in Big Sky Country, where can you do it? I think this guy's about to flip the script on us, Jesse. Really? Yeah.

It sounds like he's going to do it. Something's coming. Something's coming. He didn't know how to access it. You think this is a classic misdirection? Mm-hmm. We'll see. Play it, Brian.

Hello, host of Jordan, Jesse Go. This is Charlie from Missoula, Montana. I was afraid I wasn't going to have a good summer boy day this summer until Monday. I woke up very early, like 8 o'clock, which might not be early for some people, but it is for me. Drank a 40 with a friend.

Went down to a friend's going-away picnic slash barbecue. My friend plays women's league rugby, so her team showed up with a hookah. So I smoked hookah with the women's league rugby, so her team showed up with a hookah. So I smoked hookah with the women's rugby team, and then someone had brought in a cantaloupe to the picnic, but no one had a knife to cut it open. So having just seen James Earl Jones in the movie Blood Tide punch open a melon, I said that I could do the same thing at this point. So it took me a couple of good punches, but I broke open the melon with my fist. Everyone cheered.

I passed it around. And that moment where I was just sort of licking the juices off my hands and enjoying the fruit of my labor, someone handed me a joint. Pretty good day. Have a good one. His hand has to be wrecked. What's interesting about this one to me

is that even in even in contrast even to some of the weirder and wilder ones that we've heard before this one is the one that most fulfills the rubric for summer boy and also most fulfills the rubric for Summer Boy and also most fulfills the rubric for just a man's life falling apart at the seams. Yeah. Yeah. Glass half full. You think he just walked into the ocean after this? He probably doesn't have access to the ocean. That would be a cool summer thing.

Yeah. I could see this guy walking into the ocean and becoming an orca. Oh, sure. Or killer whale. Yeah. Oh, I'm familiar. Thank you. I just want to make sure that you – I don't know if you've ever been to SeaWorld.

Yeah. Otherwise, I would have gotten in the car. I've been driving home like, what the fuck is an orca? What is he talking about? What do you mean? Was he making fun of me? Can I ask you guys like a more serious question? Sure.

We've been having a lot of fun here. But it's something that's really been weighing on me heavily. Let's do it it seems like when i was a kid and this this might be a brontosaurus situation but it seems to me like when i was a kid it was very important that you refer to the orca as an orca and at most you could say an orca, otherwise known as a killer whale. Because we were saving whales and protecting them. And so we had to call them orcas. Because killer whale was like a whale slur?

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It made them seem like animals that you wouldn't want to save. Like some sort of sea thug. Sure. Yeah. Like some sort of seal killing, black and white being, cold water swimmer. In 2015, it seems like we're full on back to killer whale.

It seems like we don't care about – well, I guess there was the black fish movement. Yeah, we've added black fish in there. So people got re-interested in saving the whales. But definitely like when we were growing up, saving the whales was very, very important, it would seem. But what about just baseline respecting the whales? Yeah, I guess that wasn't – I guess this would – I think we've – yeah, we've taken some steps backwards. Did I own and play the collaborative board game Save the Whales in which each person chose a whale piece and you went around doing things to save the whales until eventually the whales were saved?

I'm going to guess yes. Sure. But I don't understand. So I understand that context, but I don't understand how we've slid backwards so far that we're calling these whales killers just because they kill so much. You know what? Because they don't have someone to advocate for them. Yeah.

They don't have someone standing up and saying, no, don't call us that. Sure. You can't do a Facebook post with sonar. If they could blog, I think we would be seeing a lot more orca included in the conversation. You know what they need? They need a documentary on Netflix that people are always telling you about, especially like your flakier friends. Not exclusively, but particularly. If there

was an incendiary Netflix documentary about orcas... It'll never happen. It's an empty dream. We've got too many sugar docks to make. I've played too many games of Save the Whales. Or it's the Starry-Eyed Dreamer. But, you know, keep believing. If something momentous happens to you, like It's a starry eyed dreamer, but you know,

keep believing, keep believing. If something momentous happens to you, like you see a man turn into an orca or killer whale while walking into the ocean in Missoula, Montana, call us for our segment, momentous occasions,

two zero six nine eight four for fun. We've got a couple of momentous occasions to share with you, Brian. Why don't you roll the first one out? Hey, Jordan, Jesse go. This is Mike in San Francisco. I was just returning from a camping trip near your old stomping grounds in Santa Cruz, the big basin redwoods. And on the way home on 101 North, saw a car traveling at freeway speeds, suddenly start swerving, then flip over and spin around in the middle of the freeway. And my girlfriend and I stopped our car and ran over

and helped pull two women out of this overturned car who were basically unhurt and both walked away. One cried a lot. One calmly crawled through the window and then got off her phone and started talking to somebody that wasn't 911. Thanks a lot. She called 611 for some information about where she could run electrical lines. Or 411 to get the number of the nearest Home Depot. Or 311 to get really into prog rock from the 90s.

Would you consider 311 prog rock? I don't know. College rock? Yeah, I think college rock is close. Sorry, guys. I'm really sorry. But to be fair, I do think 311 used a lot of interesting time signatures. See?

So maybe that's what you were picking up on because I know you're so – I felt like they were like trying to do something. I think they were trying to do something. I heard they recorded like an entire instrumental opus in 311. Oh, sure. Yeah. It's probably their most interesting time signature. Yeah.

311 is still like a thing. They are like a big cruise band. Really? Yeah. And I think that it's one of those things where you're like oh i'm sure everyone from that band is dead but i guess they've they've been they have a maybe a fish like following from what i understand i recently fish are really into them yes yeah yeah the guys following the boat yes i know right they like the

vibrations from the speakers they're like oh i should I should follow this. Probably some krill over here. Now I found my second favorite motivation for musicians. Jordan, I'm not super surprised that 311 still has a following because I recently read a New Yorker Talk of the Town piece about Guster. Sure. Wow. I was like, wow, they made the Talk of the Town in

2015, huh? Yeah. I had a friend who used to always try to convince me to get into Guster. Yeah. I've got to give him a call, see how he's doing. Yeah, that is like – yeah, I feel like that is the band. I guess I can't even think of what a Guster song sounds like, but maybe if Dave Matthews' band was a little too hardcore for you. Yeah. Like this is too – this is upsetting.

Yeah. This drummer is too skilled. Sure. I don't know a too, this is upsetting. Yeah. This drummer is too skilled. Sure. I don't know a lot about Dave Matthews' band. I heard they have a really good drummer. Yeah, I think.

Notable about the band. They got strings. Sure. The Dave Matthews band has tours with strings? I think they have one guy who plays a violin that I think died.

Yes. I think he died. They don't anymore. Yeah. Was it Stradivarius? It was, yeah. Got it. Okay.

Let's take our next one. Oh, yeah. Congratulations to this guy for saving a life. Anyway. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. This is a really good

momentous occasion. Yeah. He didn't save a life. It sounds like they would have been fine. But he saw a car flip over. That's pretty good in and of itself.

Not like he shirked the responsibility of saving a life. No, he gave it a shot. It was still a cool story. He was ready to, you know, jaws of life them out of the car. That's part of what's amazing about it is that it was like, hmm. The 101 is a pretty raw freeway.

If he had done this on the 280, the 280 is wide open. But on the 101, you know, that's trouble. Now, here's what I would recommend to him if this hat comes up next time. Sure. Now, here's what I would recommend to him if this hat comes up next time. Sure. If you're on 101 somewhere around Burlingame and you see a car flip over, pull them out. Okay.

Pull the passengers out of the car. Sure. Bring them to the side of the road. Go right over there to the It's It factory that's right next to the 101 in Burlingame. Get some It's It's and bring them some It's It's. It's regular. Maybe some flavor they haven't had like strawberry. It's free for car accident victims. I've some it's it's. It's regular. Maybe some flavor they haven't had, like strawberry. It's free for car accident victims. I've never seen it.

Yeah. It's pumpkin. They got pumpkin it's it's. Oh, man. I don't know if those are seasonal. I would guess. Are they pumpkin or are they pumpkin spice? Pumpkin.

Wow. No one does that. Yeah, it's OG. Jordan, did I talk about how my sister-in-law, when she got married, had it's it's at the wedding? Many times. Yes. Yes.

Constantly. Yes. I was talking to them at the I was on vacation recently with my with my in-laws and I was talking to my sister-in-law and her husband and come to find out that the way they got these it's it's. I assumed either somebody went to like smart and final or something like that. They called it's it. And just a guy came from the factory with a car full of It's Its. Just like loose in the car? They just tossed them in?

Yeah, they just like filled a car with It's Its and drove over from the It's It factory. That's fucking living, man. I wonder if that's how they deliver all their It's Its. Yeah. And it was actually It's It, the owner of It's It's. Yeah. It's his first name is It. Yeah. Second name is It's.

First name, It's. Yeah. Last name, It. Yeah. Middle name, Hitler. Bort. Yeah. Brian, let me get one more call.

Let's hear it. Hey, Jordan, Jesse,est. This is Rachel. I was having a wonderful vacation in the Azores, thinking it was a total summer boy time, swimming in volcanic craters and thermal pools. It was awesome. And then I fell while hiking, and it turned into a momentous occasion when eight paramedics had to carry me out of a volcanic crater and then bring me to the ER in a hospital that's very different from ours in the U.S., where I'm now in a cast and waiting to see an orthopedist in the U.S., but allegedly it's not broken, so that's good. And how many people get to say that paramedics carried them out of a volcanic crater? Good story. Thanks.

We'll be the judge of that. What country was this in? The Azores. I mean, this is a scary situation. I can't even imagine what it would be like to fall in those paramedics carry you. You're in the Azores. They don't even have it. I don't even know where the Azores is.

Yeah, I don't either. It sounds like a fictional place. Yeah, I don't know if the Azores are like the Sandwich Islands where you sort of like raise an eyebrow. Okay, I believe you that that's real. But I would love to see hard physical evidence. I don't want to – Sounds like she went through some hard physical evidence. I don't –

Hashtag analogous. Yeah. Hashtag analogous. Hard physical evidence. I mean I don't want to like you know downplay what this woman went through because it sounds pretty dramatic it does sound like she is a little bit in the pursuit of positivity

sure like not pursuit of it but like she's like hey big story is it's a cool story I want to point out that this lady is not she is getting it right in that she is not calling from Denver

where she lives two weeks later. She's calling us from an Azorean field hospital. Right. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. When you're going through some shit, take a minute. Incur some charges.

Call Jordan and Jesse. Call a podcast. She got one telephone call. One time she got access to the one telephone in the entire Azorean hospital. She could have called her American health insurer. Have you guys gotten any jail calls? Oh, we should get some. I don't think they have podcasts in jail.

Like, I've just been arrested. I didn't do it. I don't know what's going on. This is my one phone call. Help me. I need a lawyer. So if you guys can put out a call or something. But also something really cool happened this morning.

I saw a cat with two tails. Whoa, a cat with two tails. Whoa! A cat with two tails! I would be against a cat with two tails. You don't think they're against God? It's not like this thing was filled with lava. It's just a hole, right?

Calling it a volcanic crater. Right, I think that's a good point. I mean, you know. But how else would you describe it? Like a big dip? Yeah, a big hole. Fell into a big hole. That makes it sound like it's like a well. I appreciate the extra descriptor of – But she – I'm with Jordan on this because where's the lava here? She seems to be implying that she survived the lava.

And I mean I think anyone who's been to a playground knows that you're in big trouble if you touch the lava. And I mean, I think anyone who's been to a playground knows that you're in big trouble if you touch the lava. Yeah, right. That's why you've got to keep up top on that equipment. Sure. Lava is mulch, right? You've got to give Hector your fruit roll-up. Man, Jordan, after the show, let's talk about you and Hector

because I think there's some shit that you're going to need to process about your childhood. Well, he's still got my fruit roll-up! Sounds like he really Hector'd you. Hector shit that you're going to need to process about your childhood. We still got my fruit roll-up. Sounds like he really Hector'd you. Hector, if you're listening. And he's supposed to be such a protector. Yeah, sure. He's always Hectoring.

Well, we have a lot of fun on our show, Jordan, Jesse, go. Yeah. We'll be back in just a second. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Eliza Skinner, banshee on the loose. Well, this has been just a delight to have you here, Eliza.

Thank you. Eliza, of course, you're on Twitter, at Eliza Skinner. And that's a fun place. I know I've subscribed to that feed. Sure. I like it. I get that fire hose of basically just Periscope announcements at this point. Well, it was heavy this week because I was on set all night and it's one of the only ways I could keep myself awake.

What are you scoping? Actually, on set I was doing just a bunch of behind the scenes like, hey, it's a TV show. Do you want to ask the director anything? Do you want to ask the makeup artist anything? And people were like, yes, we do. Oh, interesting. How do we get those jobs? Right, yeah.

How do I become a television director? Yeah. Can you say what this show is that you were periscoping from? Yeah, it's called Adam Ruins Everything. It's going to be on TruTV starting September 29th. Yeah. It's going to be fun. What's the format?

What are we looking at? It's a to be fun. What's the format? What are we looking at? It's a nonfiction comedy. It's sort of in the world of bullshit, Penn & Teller's bullshit or Mythbusters or even that cooking show Good Eats where Adam Conover stand up challenges ideas that are just generally societally accepted. Things like, you know, why do we give engagement rings? We shouldn't. That's dumb. And the actual history of them and like dog breeds

and all that kind of stuff. Dog breeds and engagement rings? Yeah. He's tearing the lid off of both? What? Tipping. We get into it. Sure.

Tipping. Is that a hashtag analogous thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a tip. Got it. Well, it's been a joy to have you here, Eliza. Thanks. I always love coming.

It's always a lot of fun. Did you give me a hand signal that means you have a thing to say, Jordan? Nope. Oh, you're just gesturing? Just doing some gestures? You guys want to see some gestures? Jordan is actually preparing to be one of those interpretive sign language people. Wow, wow, wow, wow.

Yeah, I don't know sign language, but I think the first step is just to get a good vibe and get confident with using my hands. I feel like you could already, with that amount of knowledge, be a sign hype man. So if you were just doing sign hypes for a sign language interpreter. Oh, I'm just getting the crowd pumped for the sign language. Yeah, exactly. Like, get a load of this guy. Jordan, when we were in college at the University of California at Santa Cruz, did you ever watch that documentary that played, like, we had cable in the dorms, you know, but you only get a certain amount of cable. So you get like 15, 20 channels, something like that.

And one of them was the local cable access channel. Did you ever watch that documentary that would play over and over and over and over about the woman at the Santa Cruz Beach boardwalk who did the sign language translation? Yeah, it seems like something that I'm sure during the course of college I saw it in five-minute chunks. You know, in a lot of ways it's an art. People think you're just saying what it is, but you're really giving the spirit of the thing. Yeah, a lot of emotion involved. Oh, it was the horn player of Dave Matthews' band that died, not the violin guy.

We learned that during the break. Did you see the very end of the sign language documentary? I did, nuh-uh. She walks into the ocean. Wow, becomes an orca. Fully? Fully? Not just halfway or anything? Absolutely, no, all the way.

She does everything all the way. It's weird that they got industrial light and magic to do that sequence considering that it was local cable access. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, we're – George just believed in the project. We're so happy to have Brian Fernandez, our producer, back on the boards. Welcome back.

Welcome back, Brian. Sure. Great to have you here. Nice to hear someone on the boards. Welcome back. Welcome back, Brian. Sure. Great to have you here. Nice to hear someone enjoying the show. For once. As opposed to not enjoying it. As opposed to the dour glares coming our way from Ibarian X. Yeah, I know.

So thank you so much. Thank you so much, Brian. Welcome back. If you want to talk about the show on Twitter, we love it. We love to. We chat with fans on Twitter. It's fun. Hashtag JJGo.

Put it on there. MaximumFun.reddit.com is the Reddit community. I actually recently just did a – I was bored at work, so I did an AMA on Reddit there. I answered like 50 or 100 questions from people. So you can look at that on Reddit. That's linked on the Maximum Fun Reddit. And on Facebook, we got a Maximum Fun group on Facebook, very lively, very active,

and a Jordan Jesse Go page. So go like that. And of course, go to toteseat.com and do not miss Brian and Lindsay will totally eat that. The first ever video production

for MaximumFun.org. It is really a blast. Brian and Lindsay are great in it. It's really a hoot. So go watch that. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jesse Go.

It's really a hoot. So go watch that. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse go. Maximum fun.org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported.