Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 394: Live in Portland with Corin Tucker

Episode Date: September 15, 2015

Jordan and Jesse are joined by Sleater-Kinney's Corin Tucker live on stage at the Hollywood Theatre in Portland, Oregon. 

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, go listeners. This week's show was recorded live on stage at the Hollywood Theater in Portland, Oregon. We were so grateful to Portland for hosting us. I just want to make one quick announcement before we go to this stage and our show with Corin Tucker of Slater Kinney. That is this. If you are in Copenhagen or Copenhagen, however that word is pronounced, if you are in that city or in Virens, come to a meetup with me because I literally don't know anyone in that entire city and I'm going to be there for like five days. This meetup is going to be at a place called Copenhagen Street Food. It was suggested to me by the world famous Dave Shumka's Aunt Sheila, who lives in Scandinavia. And we're going to meet up at Copenhagen Street Food by the fireplace,

which is right near the entrance. I can't tell exactly how big this place is, but, you know, we're going to do what we can. And that is going to be at 5 p.m., 17 o'clock, as you say, in Europe, on Sunday, September 20th. Sunday the 20th in Copenhagen at Copenhagen Street Food. The website for Copenhagen Street Food is copenhagenstreetfood.dk. I hope that some people come to this because otherwise it will just be me sitting there while attractive Scandinavian people look at me confused and a little sad. Anyway, let's go to the stage of the hollywood theater

of jordan jesse bow live in portland mr morris how are you sir portland oregon how are you looking very nice this evening very nice i should uh mention for the uh for the home listener that we are doing this in a movie theater. This is usually a movie theater. Does anyone here, did anyone think they were buying tickets to Straight Outta Compton? If so, we're sorry. We don't have that kind of charisma. I wish. I wish.

Yeah, tripped a little bit going up the stage. Anybody see that? You were periscoping that, I hope, right? Check out this asshole. I'm, uh, I mean, you know, when in Rome, Portland is a big, big craft beer city, so I just cracked open a Miller High Life.

Some cheers, some boos. You yelled something specific, ma'am. What did you yell? Oh, you were just yelling the Miller High Life slogan. I mean, she's right. That is the Miller High Life slogan, to her credit. I mean, it would have been weird if she had yelled, like like proud to be your bud

sure or what's up that would have been fun that would have been cool that would have been really fun if anybody at any point in the show just finds something

particularly delightful and wants to yell what's up I'm all for it I'm against it I'm clear it would mess up the show yeah we are trying to do an

actual show to some extent sure to a moderate oh do you want to do so here's the thing like we like i i know that portland has had uh you know portland's had a real population boom especially of you know young creative types like yourselves. I'm sure a lot of people here have mixed feelings, people moving up from California and stuff like that. And one of the reasons that I hear that that's such a problem is because more people want to

live in Portland than there are jobs. So we actually got together with Willamette Weekly, let's say. Is that something? Yeah, all right. Don't think I did research ahead of time. Somehow deep in my mind is the name of every alternative newspaper in America.

I'm glad to know the premise for this bit is airtight. We got together with, I guess, Willamette Weekly. That's the one. With the idea that we could share, you know, they asked us to share a few of the want ads from there. You know, especially since Craigslist has been around, it's really hard to have revenue source from want ads,

but, you know, one of the nice things that they can offer is that when podcasts are in town, they do allow people to do quick one ad announcements on the podcasts that entertain, you know, it's fun and entertaining for the crowd. They might get a job out of it. And, you know, we get paid. I mean, that's basically how we make our money. Is anybody here actually looking for a job? Any unemployed person? This young woman is looking for a job. Should not have bought

that Max Fund t-shirt. That was a waste of your money. This gentleman down here is unemployed. He's wearing a NASA t-shirt because dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Don't do it half-assed, man.

Just go full space suit. Just walk around in a fucking astronaut outfit. By the way... Until they just shoot you up there. By the way, if you think that the job he wants is like a rocket scientist, you're mistaken. He wants to be a space monkey.

Oh, sure. One of those monkeys. So yeah, we'll get the show started more properly in a minute, but just here's a few want ads for the Portland area. Here's a good one. Barista wanted. Female, ages 20 to 30. 25 years experience required. Here's a good one. Sasquatch Stephen Malcomus Hawk, Eagle, Falcon Falcon should be spelled with a K

Must always be making this face Jordan, that's not I think you misread that It should always be making this face No, no, I think we have a different copy here Because mine clearly says this face Jordan, give me a break Okay, that was a fun bit, huh? No, no, I think we have different copy here, because mine clearly says this face. Jordan, give me a break.

Okay, that was a fun bit, huh? That physical comedy will go over well on this audio podcast. Oh, here's one for advertising creative. Anybody here work in advertising? Anybody at Wyden Kennedy? One guy, okay. Seeking industry disruptor, blue sky solutions in a customer centric silo, next level brand

optimizations, brain towering, laser demo targeting, poop play optional, ball torture a must, cuckold sought, adult babies preferred, wah wah mommy changey.

Big boom boom in die die. Here's a good one. Vape shop attendance. Master's degree required. PhD preferred. Five years experience in Latin or Greek. Please include professional and academic societies and major publications. Nah, we just playing.

Just be a chill dude who can give my cousin a ride sometimes. He got a DUI. Here's one for a fourth member of Slater Kinney. Seeking fourth member for acclaimed rock group. Dudes only throwing curveballs here. Here's one. Rescue dog attendant. Positive reinforcement only.

No click training, no tethers, no harsh vibes. Remember, dogs are pack animals. Must be willing to identify top dog, pursue its wildest whims and desires. Let's be clear, you work for the dogs. They own you. If a dog wants you to wreck your car, wreck your car. If a dog wants you to leave your wife, leave your wife. If the dog wants to be president, you form an exploratory committee. Hashtag who rescued who. Hashtag who rescued who This is a good one for Portland

Beard oil salesman And then the ad just says We take all comers, this shit sells itself And finally one more, here's for your musician Drummer wanted Should be proficient in all genres From soft acoustic indie rock To gentle acoustic folk rock.

Must own drums, two guitars, one bass, several vocal microphones. We can provide pens, 97 Subaru Legacy Wagon, and upcycled scarves. What are your influences? Ours include Stephen Malcomus and the Jicks,

Stephen Malcomus solo, and pavement. Portland Wannads, everybody. Portland Wanads. I feel like I had a real magical Portland thing happen to me. I was actually in Portland a couple weeks ago, and I flew up, and I was in the aisle seat on the airplane. There was like a giant bro in the middle seat and then there was this sort of attractive kind of indie rock looking lady in the window seat

and I took notice of this lady. Not a weird way. Anyway, I took notice of this lady and she's sitting there and she's like working on her she's working on her laptop right and i i couldn't help but notice again like totally not in a weird way but i couldn't help but notice what was going on on the screen of her laptop and like i want to be clear it's about a two and a half three hour flight so like of that you know you got 15 minutes for landing 15 so there's pretty much two solid hours was uh this was going on um she had gotten the in-flight wi-fi and was just go go in

flight yeah go go in flight you got it i also get a kickback from them yeah uh hey guys do you want expensive bad internet while you fly? But like literally she had this lap, and again like attractive indie rock woman, I'm gonna say 29 years old and the entire flight she was flipping through Google image search

for Juggalos. So this woman was down with the clown until she's buried in the ground. One can only presume. So, like, I'm thinking, like, is this, like... My first thought was that this was one of those things where, like, you know how a salesman will die

and then at the funeral, his main family finds out that he had another family in Kansas City? So you think this woman has one life in Portland as a, you know, chic, you know, glasses-wearing Etsy store salesperson. And then she flies down to L.A., hits the Inland Empire, and like, goes full j and like, I was full juggalo. With a couple of clown dudes. One can only presume. So here's the thing. So like, I want to say to her, ma'am, I

can't help but notice that your screen is dominated by photographs of juggalos. Those who are down with the clown. But there's two things going on here. One of the things is, like I said, kind of a good-looking lady. And I wasn't sure how to talk to her. I felt like a creepo talking to her.

I feel like a creepo talking to anybody on an airplane. But if it's a pretty lady, I feel like she's just going to be like, what is this asshole with this creepy bald beard talking to me about? I can't help but notice your seat back doesn't have a copy of Horizons, the in-flight magazine. Here, take mine. It's got an article on cool summer beach reads. Horizons, the official in-flight magazine of Alaska Airways. So the other thing...

the official in-flight magazine of Alaska Airways. So the other thing... The other issue... Jordan gets five bucks for that. Every time he mentions a racist... I have a lot of plugs to sneak in during this show. So the other issue that was going on for me was there was this giant jock dude in between the two of us.

And, look, I mean, I'm not saying... I'm not saying I'm not a jock, you know. Like, granted, I've got an athletic physique. Quads, delts, lats. You got it. Glutes. Deschutes. Other muscle names.

But like, you know, I'm artsy you know what I mean I don't want to cross this guy and also I don't want to talk to this guy so I'm like sitting there for two hours trying to come up and she's doing it the entire time I cannot emphasize enough

how much she is looking at pictures of juggalos just scrolling through them and I'm like what what is this about? And, like, all I can think of is sex thing. Pornography doesn't have to be just videos of people having sex. It can just be

whatever turns you on. I mean, a lot of women are into stories and fantasies more than they are watching the act of penetration. Jesse, you know a lot about a woman's heart. I do. I do. Can we skip stones later? Help me out with some wisdom.

Welcome to Tuesdays with Jesse. I'm Jesse Thorne. I'm trying to figure out how I could talk to her when she's two people away. If she was next to me, I feel like I could be like, Juggalos, huh? You know what I mean? I mean, I think you could just open it up

as, like, a discussion for the whole seat, you know? It could just start somewhere casual, like, hey, guys, fucking magnets, how do they work? And then... I thought about... I seriously... And then it starts an organic conversation. I thought about, like,

what if I pressed my, like, flight attendant call button and then the flight attendant comes and I said, I'm sorry, ma'am, to bother you, but is there anyone on the plane who's down with the clown? Could you make an announcement?

So I felt like I couldn't talk to this woman and it was burning me up inside. Like, I'm trying to watch American Pickers on my microsoft surface and i keep looking over and i'm like she's still looking at juggalo still looking at juggalo pictures but here's this here's the insight i had so she had attached to her laptop an external hard drive there's a piece of masking tape on it and so like the non-creepy person that I am, I noticed that there was a name written on the masking tape.

And I said to myself, this, not talking to another human being is the key to this puzzle. And I was like, I knew that's going to be the answer. So I'm trying to commit it to memory, which is very difficult for me.

And we finally land, because I didn't want to spring for the go-go in-flight Internet. You know, I'm no... Well, you should have. It's bad and expensive. I finally got down to the ground, and I'm like, okay, I have to Google this woman's name, because this is going to answer my question. She's going to be, like, the president of publicity

for Juggalos incorporated the american juggalo society which by the way if anybody's a member of ajs 10 off your tickets next time around um but like i had to i had to but then i realized like you know like the part of the flight, I didn't think I could remember her name long enough to get all the way off of the airplane, like into the terminal. I was only barely holding it in my head. So I'm like, I have to type this into my phone now, but I have to do it slick enough that she doesn't see that I'm some kind of monster person who's Googling the name of a person sitting three feet away from her because he saw it written on some masking tape. Isn't this a plot of the recent Liam Neeson movie?

Are you going to have to fight this woman in the bathroom? Hitchcock's Strangers on a Train. Sure. I had a person that she didn't know that I wanted murdered. Right. Yeah, the old Chris Cross, sure. Anyway, I googled it and she's the costume designer on Portlandia. Spoiler alert for next season, guys.

I also had a fun flight experience coming up here. I was sitting next to a man who I would describe as a normal man. You know, when we're all dead and gone

and aliens want to look up white guy, it would just be this guy. A little bigger than your average white guy, but just a guy, T-shirt, jeans, baseball cap, had some sweet Oakleys on the baseball cap. But not a guy you would notice in any way. And I was sitting in the very, very back by the bathroom, and for some reason, Alaska Airlines thinks that's so unpleasant that they give you a free drink, which is a nice

policy. So I think everybody in our seat took them up on it. And we all three get these little airline cocktails. And this guy, after he takes every sip, does some sort of exclamation. And it's different every time. It started out with, like he couldn't believe what he just drank. You know, yeah, like when a cartoon character takes their first sip of alcohol or something.

And then it was... It looked like it was just Coca-Cola. Yeah, something. And then it was... He's just like, well, it looked like it was just Coca-Cola. Yeah, right. And then just like... And then... It was like he was in a commercial for plane cocktails. And they're like,

give us some options. And so he finishes the drink, and I don't really hear from him, and I put in headphones, and maybe, like, an hour later, and we have not talked. Me and this man have not talked. He tugs on my shirt, and it's, like, gotta be fucking big if you're, like, getting someone

out of headphones. He tugs on my shirt, and he's like, hey, you, uh, see that couple sitting two seats up? And I kind of look, and you can kind of see two heads that are kind of, like, close. And then he's like... Should we illustrate that again? Yeah, like this.

Like this. That was a great photo op, by the way. The fact that we weren't blinded by flashbulbs during that Kodak moment. He's like, hey, see that couple up there? And I go, yeah. And he's like, yeah, they were kissing on the plane.

It's cool, though. Here's my theory. Here's my theory. It is cool to be famous that time. It is cool. It's able to kiss on the plane It's the last place you'd expect me to be able to kiss Here's my theory I think it's airtight

This was a child who had made a wish to become big He found a Soltar machine at the boardwalk. And this was his first time drinking alcohol, being on a plane, and witnessing adult kissing. And he was fucking blown away. Seems like a safe bet. Seems airtight.

Hey, Jordan, you know, we're in Portland, Oregon. Aren't we? Probably a lot of confused young people around here Is anybody here confused just about your direction in life? Yeah Got a few people People are confused as to what the appropriate way To respond to that question was

Whether you should applaud or raise your hand Unemployed NASA guy's like nah I got this He's like yeah I mean I've been hanging out at Ground Control a lot lately. That's going great. It's an arcade bar. Yeah. So there's some confused young people.

Yeah. You have some advice for them. Well, I mean, in some ways, I feel like it's sort of pretentious to call yourself a guru. I don't think so. Go ahead. But, you know, there's a lot of confusion among young people. I think millennials especially, I'm a millennial myself, 1981. You know, they're comfortable with social media, texting. Snapchat. Snapchat. V, texting. Snapchat.

Snapchat. VCR programming. Gender being a spectrum and not a binary. Sure, sure. Ball torture, we mentioned that earlier. Millennials love ball torture. They know about all that stuff, but a lot of times they just need some clear direction in their life. about all that stuff, but a lot of times they just need some clear direction

in their life. That's why I like to do from time to time on this show, this segment, called Hang It Up and Keep It Up. Hang it up. Big pile of sticks. My neighbor has this huge pile of sticks in his yard. What is he planning with this pile of

sticks? Why does he have so many sticks? Is he prepping some kind of Passion of Joan of Arc type shit? Hang it up, big pile of sticks. Runoff from the power plant. What about the people downstream from the power plant? And the wildlife? If you ask me, we should put the environment first and the fat cats last.

Hang it off. Hang it up, runoff from the power plant. Airplane safety demonstration. It's too long and it's too boring. Here, I'll summarize it for you. If the plane crashes, we're all going to die. Hang it up, airplane

safety demonstration. Lobsters. Yeah, right. Like, I'm gonna play $45 for one of those crawly creepos. Hang it up, lobsters! And now, it's time for Keep It Up. Keep It Up. Portland Trailblazers

legend Clyde Drexler. You know, when you're doing comedy on the road, it's important to use local references to pander to the crowd. Keep it up, Portland Trailblazers legend, Clyde the Glide Drexler. Big hats. Big hats shield your head

and protect you from both dangerous UVA and UVB rays. Keep it up, Big Hats. Parfaits. I say all desserts should have layers. Just like the crust of this crazy green globe that we call home. Keep it up, Parfaits. Shoes.

If we didn't have shoes, we'd just be like, ooh, ow, ooh, ooh, ow, ooh, ooh, ow, ooh, ooh, ow. Keep it up, shoes. Thank you! Hang it up, Ben. Keep it up. That's a gift to you. Show that to a prospective

employer, NASA guy. Through that, left-handed. I'm not just great. I'm not just a guru of, you know, life direction. I'm also a guru of throwing crumpled up balls of paper left-handed to NASA guys. Shall we introduce our guest? Let's do. You know her

as a member of Slater Kenny, as the front woman of her self-titled band, as a legendary Portlander or Portlandite or whatever it is that you people say and will correct me on later, please welcome to the stage the one, the only, the legendary Corin Tucker. Thank you.

Hi, Corin Tucker. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm very happy that you agreed to come on our program. Thank you. Hi, Corin Tucker. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm very happy that you agreed to come on our program. Thank you very much. Portlandite, what do you prefer? I am a Portlandite, yes.

And people who say ite, they're wrong. I would say so, yeah. It's like stalactite and stalagmite. One comes from the ground, one comes from the ceiling. You don't wantactite and stalagmite. One comes from the ground, one comes from the ceiling. You don't want to be mistaken for a Seattleite. Ooh.

Fuck Seattle, right, guys? So this... No, they're fine. They're fine. Especially whenever their soccer team is named, because you guys have a soccer team you like. Here's what confuses me about the Portland... Well, I'm weak.

Here's what confuses me about the Portland-Se, I'm weak. Here's what confuses me about the Portland-Seattle rivalry. Maybe you can clear things up. Okay. Portland and Seattle hate each other, right? No, we don't hate each other. We just like to... We're like brothers and sisters. Okay.

We just like to rib each other a little bit. I would say maybe you're like identical twins that like to rib each other a little bit. How can you have a rivalry between the same place? It's like if Tucson had a rivalry with Tucson. We are incredibly different. What are the key differences that maybe we're missing? Well, in Portland, you can, you know, you roll up, you just get out of bed, you can go out and do your day as is. And in Seattle, you have, you roll up, you just get out of bed, you can go out and do your day as is.

And in Seattle, you have to go to a job. You have to wear like a shirt and a tie. So they're more buttoned up and Portland's more devil may care. Yeah. Okay. Is that acceptable to you guys? Like, it's only okay to wear fleece to 70% of Seattle weddings.

And 65% of Seattle funerals. Here's something that I found interesting while we were chatting backstage. I would not have guessed this about you, but you're a Zumba enthusiast. I am, yes. Or Zumba? Zumba. Zumba. Zumba., but you're a Zumba enthusiast. I am, yes. Or Zumba? Zumba. Zumba. Zumba.

How do you feel about Zumba? I would try a Zumba as well. Okay, cool. Yeah. Talk to me after the show. Seems like some sandwich that would have pork cracklings on it or something. There's a sandwich with pork cracklings on it? I'll take two, please.

Yeah. How did you get into the world of Zumba? Well, I am a member of the Northeast Community Center just right over here in the Hollywood neighborhood. I partake of some of their

fitness activities and Zumba just popped up on the schedule. I said, I think I'm going to give that a try. Now, Corin, what's your typical fitness activity? What are we talking about? Yoga? Pilates? Really? I know you care a lot about strengthening your core. Yes.

You just flip a big tire down the street, right? Yes, I do. That's the hot new thing. I roll in it when I'm taking my kids to school. No, I... You roll your kids in a tire. A giant tire. They love it. What?

And you chase it down the street with a stick like a... That's right. Bronx child from the 20s. Part of the Portland way is to count all of those things as fitness activities, right? It's called having an active lifestyle. That's right. So you, you, you, you know, you do everything in your day and I count it, you know, like running, getting the kids there on time.

That counts. So you're keeping, when you say you're counting them, you mean like one, two, three, four, five? You have done five actives today? That's it. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah.

I've added something new to my exercise regimen. And by added something new, I mean I did an exercise thing. Or as normally I do not. Well, compulsive masturbation. Sure, yeah. That helps my core. It does. As long as I grit my teeth.

Sorry, people who came for throwing shade. Activate your jaw. I was going to a community pool in West Hollywood, where I live, and the main kind of person that lives in West Hollywood, I would call a beautiful, jacked gay guy. Yeah. I feel like I can't even go to West Hollywood

because it ignites such powerful body shame in me. I think I would describe everyone's physique as trying to replace Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. Everyone is going for that. And it's amazing. It's totally amazing. And so that's the main kind of guy who is swimming laps at this pool. And I thought I was like a, you know, a reasonably fast swimmer. And you know kind of how swim lanes are set up.

There's, you know, it a reasonably fast swimmer. And you know kind of how swim lanes are set up. It goes from fast to slow. So I started out in medium and was just getting so obliterated by these guys, I had to keep moving over to slower and slower lanes until I was swimming in the therapy lane. Which was me and some elderly Russian women who had recently had hip surgeries. It's Jordan Jessigo. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Hey, sponsors on this week's program Jessigo. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. Hey, sponsors on this week's program, Jordan. It's Warby Parker. Jordan Jessigo is supported in part by Warby Parker, a new concept in eyewear.

Fashion Forward's prescription glasses start at $95, including prescription lenses. They make buying glasses online easy and risk-free. With the Home Try-On program, you can try five pairs of frames to be shipped directly to your home. Try them on, select your favorites, and send them back for free with no obligation to purchase. I'd go to warbyparker.com slash jjgo to get your five free Home Try-On frames and free three-day shipping. warbyparker.com slash jjgo. Let's get back to the show. Now, I think people are probably wondering why we have a copy of the hit movie Mortal Kombat on Blu-ray up here. Don't woo.

It's a terrible movie. Don't woo. People are shaking their heads. Why would people be wondering that? Like, of course we have a copy of the Blu-ray of Mortal Kombat the movie. What other movie would we have a copy of on Blu-ray on stage at our podcast taping?

We have this Blu-ray. Double Dragon the movie is the answer. So you can see Mortal Kombat as the filmmaker intended. In its proper aspect ratio. We have a game we like to play. It's called the Mispronunciation Contest. Thank you, thank you.

The three of us will be judging two audience members who think they can mispronounce words in a funny way. Does anyone want a chance to win Mortal Kombat on Blu-ray? This person in a red shirt right here in the center here.

Give him a hand, Give him a hand. This large-haired person. Yeah, yeah. That looks like a dude. Anybody else? Anybody else want to give this a shot? How about this person almost all the way back? Two-thirds of the way back.

Kano. The white person back there. Is anyone a fan of Kano? Yeah, you. Come on up. Come on up. Give her a hand. Give her a hand, everybody.

By all means, retain your dignity while walking quietly up to the stage, ma'am. That was like, it was like as though I had just called from the back of the room on Grace Kelly. That was like, it was like as though I had just called from the back of the room on Grace Kelly. I thought it was a very statuesque saunter you have, madam. Yeah, quite the saunter. Okay, ma'am, what's your name?

Swan-like. Hold that microphone all the way up to your mouth. My name is Raja. Raja, a pleasure. Welcome to this program. And sir, what's your name? Scott. Scott. Well, welcome to the stage, Scott and Raja, everyone.

Sir, what's your name? Scott. Scott. Well, welcome to the stage, Scott and Raja, everyone. So the way we play the game is we're going to read you a word or phrase, and you'll have to mispronounce it in the funniest way possible. Jesse Korn and I will be the judges. The person with the most funny mispronunciations at the end will win Mortal Kombat on Blu-ray.

Have either of the two of you seen the film Mortal Kombat? I indeed have, yes. Yeah, I'm not that surprised, Scott. It's not real mind-blowing. Have you, Raj? I have not seen it. Have you ever seen Double Dragon, the movie? I have not.

Did you ever see when that girl Mary from my high school in Introduction to Arts class did a monologue from Double Dragon the movie. Remember how she was super into that TV show? Remember how she was super into that TV show that was like professional wrestling but for karate? But no. And then remember how that one time in literature class she read a full-on fuck poem

about the ice skater Elvis Stoico. Like a full-on, like, descriptions of hard dicks. In verse. And it was like Mary Frejo, like, let's dial it back,

Mary Frejo. Roger, this is a trick question. You are not supposed to remember any of this. I guess she didn't go to my high school. We solved that problem. Our first word in the mispronunciation game, or pronunciation game, I guess we can also call it, is... I think we should make Corin the announcer.

Oh, okay, great. So why don't you... Corin, are you prepared to be the announcer? Yeah, do you want me to say the correct pronunciation? It's going to work. We are going to show the word on the board. Corin is going to say it out loud. Then you will hear this sound.

Brian, do you have the sound? As soon as that ding is heard, each of you in turn will have to mispronounce the word. No bullshit, okay? That's like my one top rule is no bullshit. Like, you can't just say, like, a different thing. You're going to lose if you just say a different thing. You have to mispronounce the thing we give you.

Don't just fuck around. If either of you guys fuck around, you're going to be in deep shit with me. Oh, no. I'm dead shit with me. Oh, no. I'm dead serious about this. Great, great. What is Raja's fucking problem? I think it's that she hasn't seen Mortal Kombat.

Yeah. Dude, if Raja had seen Mortal Kombat, she would be so fucking chill right now. Oh, yeah. She'd be fucking kicking back with a spliff. Getting blazed. Amsterdam style. Fucking dudes up on the street.

Violent street crime. First word. Your first word in the pronunciation contest. Corin Tucker. Rolling suitcase. Contest. Corin Tucker. Rolling suitcase. Rolling

suitcase. Sweet casser. Roger. Rolling suitcase. Ooh. I gotta say, considering how full of shit she was seven seconds ago.

Yeah. That was a surprisingly strong entry. Yeah. Corin, do you have a feeling about either one? I gotta give it to Raja on that one. Yeah, me too. Raja, congratulations. Raja, you're gonna go first on this next word,

so I hope you're ready. Our next word, Corin Tucker of Slater Kinney is... Clams Casino. Clams Casino? Clums Casino. Oh. That was appropri appropriation sir so first of all raja after she came strong in the first round she fucked around for like five seconds trying to play it off like she wasn't completely

unprepared for the second round then came with some b minus bullshit, okay? Like, not the worst I've ever seen, but not far off. I'm talking about select Europe dates, C- type. So, immediately, this is just sort of my analysis. Chris Collins-werthing this shit. So, immediately,

Scott's in the driver's seat, right? What does Scott do? he shits his pants yeah this was yours to lose he just copies yours to lose worse yeah that's true i i mean i like that the the no at the end that made me laugh okay point for scott point for Scott Point for Scott But the kind of bad on bad action I think we saw really like Really mirrors the Mortal Kombat franchise I mean, we have Mortal Kombat Bad, and then boom

We go to Mortal Kombat Annihilation That's about right Remember in Mortal Kombat The thing was like a guy would kill another guy really bad? Oh, yeah. I can do video game references, too, my friends. Okay, Corin Tucker, our next word in the mispronunciation game. Oral Hirschheiser.

Odin. God damn it you have to wait for the dig there's two there's two rules in the game Scott I apologize sir I'm ashamed he's so angry

this is what happened to Scott when he was doing his hair to go out tonight he went like this on the right hand the left hand side I'm ashamed. He's so angry. This is what happened to Scott when he was doing his hair to go out tonight. He went like this on the right hand side. The left hand side. I can't see you because you're framed by the light. But he went, bop, bop, bop, picking it out, picking it out. And then he's like, oh, gotta go.

It's a premature ejaculation issue. Sure. It's a marathon, not a sprint, Scott. Yeah. Raja. Now you may go. Yeah. Me a sprint, Scott. Yeah. Raja? Now you may go. Yeah. Me? Scott, take it again.

I'll have to take a different approach this time. Orel Hershiser. That's all it was. That's fine. Orel Hershiser. Those, see, now those were both creditable performances. Those were both Creditable performances You know what you never want What you don't want to see is a sloppy fight

You know you want to see both fighters Hitting hard Bobbing and weaving, ducking punches You know you want to see a nice clean Nobody's taking a dive I liked Rajah's trail off At the end I thought that was very strong.

I don't want to see you just fall back on that one move for the rest of the game. My worry would be reinforcing that and then that's your one move. And then you'll never get a job. You did it. Branch out. It was strong. I liked it a lot. Corinne, who's your pick on this one?

I agree. I would go with Raja. You'd go with Raja? Yeah. What's the score now? Does anyone remember? Kind of. Two to one. I think it's two to one Raja. Two to one Raja.

Okay, your next word, Corinne Tucker of Slater-Kinney. Bell's palsy. Beal's palsy. Raja? Bile'salsy. Raja? Biles Palsy. She just got booed. Dudes over here are ice cold. Like she was a dirty Seattleite.

Dude, there's people over here who think this is Showtime at the Apollo right now. This is amateur night. They're calling for the Sandman. A woman was doing a Showtime at the Apollo wave. What's up?

Alright, if someone wants to dance up and down the aisles on the next one, I would fucking love that. If anybody wants to get me a couple of extra buttons for my suit, I'd be down for that, too. And some gleaming ass crowns for my teeth. I mean, that one was Scott, right? Scott? Yeah, that was Scott. Corin Tucker of Slater-Kinney, our next word.

Bebop and Rocksteady. Bebop and Rocksteady. Not bad. It's not a roll. People are starting to appreciate the finer points. Yeah. Bebop and Rocksteady. I feel like Raja works at one of the hotels

that I've stayed at in Europe. I feel like I've been checked in at three in the morning with that exact accent. Like a hundred times. You know, I have a credit card for incidentals. Welcome, we have warm cookies over here. Waffle bar. welcome we have warm cookies over here waffle bar would you like some cucumber water

it's not racist here's why this isn't racist it's cause we don't know where it's from you can't be racist against a fantasy world it's like trying to be racist against Pegasus unicorns, which are inferior to both unicorns and Pegasuses.

They got one too many things. There's a good one. Thoughts on that one? Both really, really strong. Yeah, I thought those were... I think we call it tied up. I don't care. Yeah, people love it.

Everyone's saying Raja, but... So we got three, three. Three, three. Maybe that's it. Okay, our next word, Corn Tucker of Slater Kinney. It's a kaduzi. Sequiescently frozen confection.

It's a kadoozy. Yeah, that was pretty solid. It's a kadoozy. That was like a fucking dope popsicle mouse. Yeah. Yeah, points to popsicle mouse. I'm calling it, right? Did we all love that? Yeah, popsicle mouse. Yeah. Yeah, points to popsicle mouse. I'm calling it, right? Did we all love that? Yeah, popsicle mouse is pretty solid.

I got no complaints about popsicle mouse. Our next word, corn tucker. Gunt. Gunt. Gunt. See, now I feel like she's falling back on old tricks again I am Scott is constantly innovating

Yeah Yeah You guys know about design thinking So is it tied up? Yeah It's a shirt. You know, it's the last one. This makes it more dramatic.

It's not what's happening. Go on this. Corin Tucker. This is the last one. And Slater Kenny, Portland legend. The governor of Portland, Oregon. The editor of Willamette. So.

Kevin Duckworth. Center for the Portland Trailblazers. In the early 1990s and late 1980s. What is the final word in our pronouncing contest? Benedict Cumberbatch. Benedict Cumberbatch. Thank you. Benedict Cumberbatch. I know. Whoa! Wow. Bonne heure de te voir.

Bonne heure de te voir. Bonne heure de te voir. Bonne heure de te voir. I know. Wow. Fucking ruthless. Wow. Fucking ruthless.

Somebody in the back just went, oh, come on. This isn't even a real contest, ma'am. They're competing for a Blu-ray of a horrible movie that we found backstage. This is literally trash. We are giving

them trash. Someone probably tried to put this in the garbage can, and the garbage can put it out of the garbage can. To be fair, put it out of the garbage can. To be fair, Jesse, I think it's some of Christopher Lambert's best work. Played Raiden. Lord Raiden has rescued them, but he cannot fight for them.

They, a martial artist, an action film star, a soldier, are the chosen three. And while the world's fate rests on their shoulders, the rest of us can enjoy the thrills as they compete to save us all in the body-slamming, mystical tinge, full-tilt spectacle of creatures

and conflict that is Mortal Kombat. Cheer these intrepid three combatants. They're fighting for you. Congratulations, Scott. You're the champion. Scott and Raja, ladies and gentlemen.

Give him a hand. Give him a hand. Give him a hand. Now I'm not trying to be rude, but hey pretty girl, I'm feeling you. The way you do the things you do reminds me of my Alexis Kool. That's why I'm all trying to be rude But hey pretty girl I'm feeling you The way you do the things you do Reminds me of my Alexis Kool That's why I'm all up in your grill

Trying to get you to a hotel You must be a football player