Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 402: Ho-Cabulary with Judah Friedlander

Episode Date: November 9, 2015

Writer, actor and comedian Judah Friedlander joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of Judah's interest in competitive table tennis, the guys' hot takes on pumpkin foods, and what it's like to pick fruit in New Jersey.  Plus, Jesse has an update on The Eyes and Nose Light. 

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Beautiful autumn day here in Los Angeles. The leaves are turning. My mayonnaise is turning, but that's because I'm not refrigerating it. Yeah. I saw someone eating a pumpkin salad. Yeah. I don't know. I don't think everything

has to have pumpkin in it. It's a hot take. Thank you. Thank you. I'll take the other position. Everything needs pumpkin. Hi, I'm social satirist Jesse Thorne. Yeah. I'm not a political satirist. I like to look at- Life little foibles exactly sure yeah i'm like a i'm like an irma pompeg type yeah now i i was only recently made aware yeah that now i don't go out of my way to buy pumpkin items right uh but what they call pumpkin spice is not actually trying to replicate the flavor of pumpkin. It is a spice that you would put on pumpkin. So it's this totally other flavor. That's like cinnamony, isn't it? That is associated with pumpkin.

Is it like cinnamony? I think so, yeah. Or maybe some allspice? Clove? Yeah, right, yeah. It's like what you would use for mulling. Yeah, it's actually Lowry's seasoning salt. So when someone orders a pumpkin spice latte, it actually tastes like your grandpa made you a prime rib.

A pumpkin spice latte is coffee, milk, and Mrs. Dash. I actually do like it when a salad has a nice grilled piece of pumpkin in it. I think that's kind of nice. But this pumpkin salad that I saw, and look, I'm not saying this is the best pumpkin salad in the world. I saw someone eating it at the Rose Bowl flea market. So, you know, I mean, the standards are low at the Rose Bowl. But it was almost all pumpkin. I don't know.

I just don't really like eating pumpkin. Yeah? Yeah. To me, pumpkin is something that you, the reason that you eat pumpkin is because you made a jack-o'-lantern. And you just have some pumpkin laying around. Exactly. Like you have too much pumpkin. And you, like the Indians, want to use every part of your kill.

Okay. Before we introduce our guest, I've got a— Can I weigh in on pumpkins? Yeah, sure. I'm not going to go out of my way to make pumpkin, but if it turns up in something, kind of fun. Really? Yeah. How do you feel about pumpkin pie?

Do you like pumpkin pie? I think it's okay. I think it is a mid-level treat. There are many other treats that I would prefer, but if somebody makes one or if it's all that's available, fine. It's kind of nice. My feeling about it is

pie is really good, but you should make pie out of something that tastes good to begin with. Sure, yeah. You know what I mean? You're doing a lot of work. Sure, like could you make like cod pie, for example? Sure.

Yes, you could. If you've added enough sugar and butter. Yeah, you could get there. You could get where you needed to go. You could make a salad. I mean, they make pie out of rhubarb. Sure. And it tastes pretty good.

So you think that... Like rhubarb is inededible so you think that people who are making pumpkin pie are kind of like spatting in the face of god yeah you think it's a yeah it's an affront like like the tower of babel like people who run marathons those are the two situations where i think you're defying god's will okay so i Well, let's introduce our guest, and then I'll give this big update that I have to give. Our guest, a pumpkin. Uh-oh. Oh, boy.

Oh, boy. I feel pretty uncomfortable. You stepped in it. You stepped in it. Our guest, writer, actor, brilliant stand-up comedian, world champion, of course. Sure. Author of the new book, If the Raindrops United,

Judah Friedlander. Hello. Hi, Judah. How are you? I'm good, and I'm enjoying this pumpkin talk a lot. Do you want to weigh in? Do you have any thoughts? Pumpkin spice, pumpkin as meal. Well, you know, I don't drink coffee, so I can't comment on any of the pumpkin spice coffees.

And it seems like it's a big marketing ploy to just get you to buy more stuff. At this point, Trader Joe's is the pumpkin store. Yeah, I'd agree with you on that. But I do like a good pumpkin pie. I think it can be quite nice. Is there a secret? Is there an X factor that makes a slice of pumpkin pie better than just okay? Can I offer one possibility before Judah weighs in here?

Sure. Make it out of sweet potatoes. Okay. That's my recommendation for pumpkin pie. That actually sounds really good too. Yeah, sweet potato pie is definitely better. I would go for that also. But there's something to be said, like you were talking about rhubarb pie, about, you know,

I admire the ingenuity and the effort that goes into making a sweet dish out of something that really isn't sweet to begin with. It's basically sour celery. Yeah. They had some sour celery lying around and they're like, you know what we should do with this? Pastry. Yeah.

No, I see what you're saying, though. It's a challenge. It's a real challenge. It is. It's kind of. And I respect that. It's kind of all American in a lot of ways. It like we see a problem yeah how do we fix it we build a build an assembly line the candy sure yeah that's the answer i'm just excited now that we've uh

we've had two of the three pranks men on the show now yeah it's pretty good who else did you have on i guess all we need is Lutz now. Okay. Very good. And then we got the Prankstman hat trick. Anyway. I will put the word in. Yeah, the Prankstman, for those who don't know, was on 30 Rock. It was three of the TGS writers forming their own prankster group.

And probably the worst prankster group in the history of television. Starting off with the name, The Pranksman. I mean, we played writers on a comedy show and the best name we can come up with was The Pranksman. And we never won a prank contest. We always started it and always lost. Okay. So I promised a big update.

Okay. Two-part update. Okay, so I promised a big update. Okay. Two-part update. First part is, everyone please remember that I'm going on tour, bullsitour.com, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, Boston, Washington, D.C., New York City. There's that. Sure.

Second thing, big eyes and nose light update. Oh, okay. Judah, for your benefit, the eyes and nose light is a street lamp near my house that my son has taught me has supernatural powers. I think this is great. A lot of the time you have to take... Jesse's son

is very young. This isn't a 16-year-old with a bizarre inner life. Let me tell you something. A lot of geniuses and people who are natural-born mediums, it starts when they're young. That's when it first starts showing. Exactly. It manifests. You can tell.

Yeah. That's interesting. Do you think you're – My son is a child preacher. I should mention that. I was going to say, do you think he could be an X-Man? No, but he handles snakes effectively. Oh, okay.

So, yeah, that probably does point more toward Preacher. Or he could be an X-Man whose power is talking to snakes. So the eyes and nose light, that would be a pretty lame X-Man. Yeah. There's lamer ones. The serpent. Yeah. Here's the thing Okay, so Eyes and nose light

You have to be careful Sometimes it's your friend Sometimes it's your foe Usually it's your foe You have to wear a costume to sneak past it Otherwise it'll catch you Does he say foe? No

Okay But it's usually a bad guy Actually, he asked a really interesting question recently Which is are bad guys nice to other bad guys Which I think is a pretty deep Sort of a transitive property type thing Sure I'm telling you your kid's a genius

Anyway so Simon my genius son Told me about something I did not know about Which is Sink Flight Sink Flight works for the eyes and nose light. Anyway, Sinkle is a girl's name, so Sink Flight is a girl. Oh, boy. I don't even know what that means. What is that?

Can you unpack that? Well, yeah, sure. Sink Flight. Is this another character? It's a girl. This is like Mrs. Lex Luthor type thing. Okay. You know what I mean?

You know how there's Lex Luthor and Mrs. Lex Luthor? Sure. Wait, I'm thinking of Santa Claus. Yeah, you're thinking of Santa Claus. Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus. Yeah, Superman's greatest enemy, Santa Claus. Yeah. It's like if there was a Mrs. Krampus.

Okay. So it's like if there was a Mrs. Krampus. Okay. So it's like, you know, sometimes a – wait, doesn't the Joker have an evil girlfriend? Yeah, sure. Harley Quinn. There you go. So it's like the Joker and his evil girlfriend. Sure. I think – although I don't know if there's a romantic relationship between the eyes and nose light in Sink Flight.

But so Sink Flight is a different lamp on our street. It's down the block to the left rather than down the block to the right out of our front gate. You know our front gate, of course, listeners. So Sink Flight is named, Sink Flight is like its character name. Its given name is Sinkle, which is a girl's name. Does that help explain it? Yeah, now I'm clear.

Now I know exactly what's going on. I just wanted to make sure everybody was on top of the latest developments in the Eyes and Nose Light mythos. By the way, if there's not a wiki for this soon, I'm going to be very disappointed. It seems like people, yeah, maybe people can draw a map of this land like it was a Narnia or something or a Middle Earth. Yeah, exactly. Judah, how are you, friend? I'm good. I'm here visiting Los Angeles for the week. So that's always a lot of fun.

I always really enjoy coming out here. It's pretty, even when I'm working, I feel like I'm on vacation a little bit. You're missing out on Autumn in New York, though, from the classic song Autumn in New York. Yeah, but that's okay. That's okay. I've seen that a bunch, and we're starting to get into the colder phase of fall anyway. What is – because people do talk about Autumn in New York. Is there a pocket?

What is the ideal time for those magic leaves and crisp airs? You know, you can spend all year round in New York and not ever see any leaves or appreciate any leaves. You have to – even autumn in New York, you have to in in general, I think, make an effort to appreciate it. I think most of the Brooklyners and Manhattan people will, they'll take trips one hour to two hours north outside of the city in upstate New York so that they can look at all the trees. Oh, okay. Instead of just, but, you know, the parks do have them. But overall, it's, you know, I think winter in New York City, you get better visuals than actually on fall because when the trees lose all their leaves, they kind of – they're kind of like very interesting sculptures.

And then they're that way for months. Leaves overrated. Now, that's a hot take. Yeah. I actually have – in my new book that I have out, I have a drawing about trees and it's about my new tree strategy. I like trees, but I don't think in general

they're that smart. And it's like one of those things I understand why you would have a new tree strategy because eventually the other trees around the league adapt. It's like the spread offense. You have to adjust. I like your optimistic attitude here. So basically, my new strategy is,

in the winter, keep your leaves on. It's cold. And in the summer, take them off. It's hot out. And so they've been doing everything backwards for years. Probably decades, we could say. Can I ask you a question, Judah?

Would you consider these to be trees or jackasses? Yeah. You know what I mean? Well, I want to treat them with respect. Okay. Sorry. Since I'm trying to make change here or at least bring it up. Right.

You're coalition building. Yes, exactly. I can understand that. Jesse's just always going to create that perfect clickbait headline to go with an episode of our podcast. Right. 30 Rock Star Says Trees Are Jackasses. That's kind of...

Prankster colon Trees Are Jackasses. That's actually how I got on 30 Rock was the Pranksmen were a group for years. And no, I'm kidding. Another horrible prank from another horrible. Have you ever been on? I guess either of you have either of you been on any kind of fruit picking vacation?

Oh, yes. I've gone to pick fruit. Have you gone to pick fruit? No, I think a girl asked me that once and we weren't even going out and I got really weirded out and it never happened. Oh, like maybe picking fruit was like a sex thing you just weren't sure about?

No, I think I knew what it was and I'm like, I think it just the... Because I'm not against it, but if I'm... Here's the thing. If you live in New York City – Leave the fruit. Leave the fruit.

Let it rot. Let it rot. One of the things about New York and L.A. that are a little different, in L.A. – Are they? No, no, no. But I'm saying they're very similar cities. They're actually very similar cities and very different. But one of the differences is that in L.A., it can be hard to get around just within your city.

But getting out of the city is that in L.A., it can be hard to get around just within your city. But getting out of the city is quite easy. In New York, getting around your city is easy. But getting out is very difficult. You're kind of trapped in that city. So to go fruit picking, that means you have to leave the city. And that alone is like an ordeal. You're like, I might hate it here. I might hate this city.

But getting out is a big effort. So maybe I'll just stay with the suckiness of being here instead of having to leave because it's so much work. I was in New Jersey. When you picked the fruit. Yeah. The Garden State. I like New Jersey. You know what? New Jersey, I've expressed this hot take on the show before. New Jersey's highly underrated. Yeah. New Jersey's a beautiful state. That's why we got the nickname the Garden State. I went apple picking, which is the New Jersey autumnist of activities. It was pretty good. Yeah.

Are you eating them off the tree? Yeah. Maybe there's a cleanliness issue there. Are you going to want to wash them first? End of the day, Jordan, just go to town. You know what I mean? Because you already have more apples than you need. Sure.

You might as well start in now. I guess I would eat one off the tree, but I would apply a dental dam first. Really? Or saran wrap if you don't have one. Yeah, sure. I mean, you know, I would improvise. You wouldn't hose it down first. I mean, I think I would want to eat at least one off the tree.

But the rest I would want to give a thorough hosing to. Yes. Jordan, now my assumption would be, and by the way, can we not talk about what Jordan is hosing? Sure. My assumption would be if I picture Jordan Morris, Boy Detective, the legendary podcast host. Sure. I picture you giving that thing a shine on the outside of your thigh. Oh, yeah, a little.

You know that thing when an old-time guy eats an apple, he goes. Yeah. No, I think that's about how it would go. And then I would roll it along my shoulder and elbow bump it to like an orphan. Have I mentioned that I'm auditioning for a Prairie Home Companion? No, I mean, good luck with that. Yeah, I'm going to be the new guy that makes noises. They've got a great new sketch about eating an apple.

It's a Lutheran eating an apple. Sure, yeah, yeah. And he eats it in a very specific way. I have a question. What kind of apples were you picking? Do you remember? Oh, shit. That's probably why I didn't get the gig last year.

Oh, okay. Every year I audition. They have open auditions every year. It's a lot like Saturday Night Live. They actually do it on the SNL stage. You know, right there at center stage, right where G.E. Smith is there. Right, yeah. G.E. Smith, by the way, works for a pair of him companions now. If he laughs, you know you've made it because he's seen it all.

Right. And if he can get G.E. to chuckle. I know. You know what? I actually, probably the best thing that I've ever done in my life, I did a series of bird calls and G.E. Smith punctuated it with a brief guitar solo. And that was, for me, that was heaven. That's my definition of heaven.

You've made it. Yeah, check that one off the bucket list. Bird Calls punctuated by a brief G.E. Smith guitar solo. Yeah, sure. Judah, when you do need to do the day trip in New York, what do you do? Because now that you mention it, I do see how it would be hard to get out for that long weekend kind of thing. Is there like a place that you go regularly? No.

With stand-up, I'm pretty much always working. That's the other thing in New York. New York is so expensive. You kind of – it's like you almost have to be constantly working. That's one thing I like about L.A. is that since it's not nearly as expensive as a city as New York, you don't have to be working

24 hours a day. You can just chill. Relax. Yeah, it's great. I'll tell you what I've heard it referred to and you can correct me or let me know. I've heard it called The Rat Race. Yeah, there's actually, you know what, a pretty cool movie from, I think, the 50s called The Rat Race. Really?

Yeah. Don Rickles plays like the, it might be Tony Curtis. He plays a young guy who moves to New York. It's either Don Rickles or Tony Curtis. No, no, no. They're both in it. No, they're both in it. They're both in it. But I think Don...

Yeah, I get the two mixed up a lot. It might be Don Knotts. It's one of those three guys. It's Andre the Giant. It could be Woody Woodpecker, though. Yeah, that's true. That would be awesome, actually. That would be good. Oh, sorry! It's Benji.

But he takes a... Tony Curtis moves to New York City. He's a young guy, I think, from the Midwest. He wants to become an actor. And he winds up sharing an apartment with a woman to, like, split the rent. And I think Rickles plays the, like, the sleazy landlord. Yeah, it's a pretty cool movie. I think we just – for some weird reason on this show, I don't know if it is a remake or not, but there is a movie called Rat Race that came out in the early 2000s.

Yeah, I think I either auditioned for it or was supposed to audition for it but couldn't make the audition or something. I remember that. Isn't it semi a remake of It's a Mad, Mad World? Yes, it is. It's definitely in that style. Even if it's not a remake of it, that's what they were going for. And I think that it is noteworthy for maybe two reasons. One, weirdly coming up on this show a lot. And two, being in that pocket in American culture where every movie needed a Smash Mouth song. I think they actually go to a Smash Mouth concert in it. Really?

Yeah. That's pretty legendary. Yeah, yeah. They're like, this will not date our movie at all. This band is going to be this famous forever. In the script, it was a Better Than Ezra concert, but the execs got involved. There's something – Suits got involved.

Yeah, there's someone a little more timeless we can put in here. I always love when a movie is like given so little faith they actually you know do marketing like that like well let's put smash mouth in a scene yeah that's gonna bring people in yeah like uh all the mouth heads yeah that's what smash mouth fans call themselves mouth i don't even know that because literally every one of them has a mouth in their head. It's amazing. That's so cool. Like the first Ace Ventura movie, Dan Marino, football player

Dan Marino, is a lead actor in the movie. Yeah, sure, he's a plot point. It's not just like a funny cameo where he's like, thanks for the help back there, Ace. He's like probably the second or third lead in that movie, and you're like, it's like they probably had so little faith in that movie. They're like, we should just get Dan Marino.

Yeah. Maybe that'll bring people in. What's amazing is that they failed to get Joe Montana. Like, obviously. Montana said no. Jerry Rice said no. Yeah. That should be a great documentary.

The football players who turned down Ace Ventura. The part as the, yeah. I think he actually, doesn't Ace Ventura also go to a Cannibal Corpse concert in that? Now talk about a timeless band. Talk about a band that transcends. I'm trying to think. You might be right. I don't know.

It's when he goes to that, oh God. Anyway, he goes to some guy for information and he has to go through like a loud rock club and then he knocks on a door and then he's like new england clam chowder it's like the password yeah anyway i think he's right i think it's cannibal corpse can i tell you the one time the context of the one time that i saw ace ventura pet detective it was when it was in theater. Sure. So I was maybe nine. I'm not sure. It was 10.

And I went to the drive-in with my dad for a double feature. We made it through all of Mo Money, which I loved. That was Damon Wayans' first lead role in a movie. Well, and Jim Carrey's, I guess. You have a double feature of Hot Off and Living Color. Yeah. That's pretty amazing. And then I think we made it through 40% of Ace Ventura before my dad threw in the towel, God bless him.

But, like, we made it all the way through Mo Money. Like, let me be clear. Was it just that it was too long to spend watching people mug? Yeah, that's a lot of money. Or maybe it was he was just thinking, why didn't they get Joe Montana? Yeah. Right. Where's Joe?

Oh, it's going to be Dan Marino in this? Yeah. Oh, boy. Not even Elway? Can't even get Elway? Sure. If I was going to cast a Miami Dolphin, it'd be Flipper Anderson. Is he on the Miami Dolphins or is it just named Flipper?

I think that's part of the plot of Ace Ventura is someone steals the Miami Dolphins' dolphin. They have a dolphin? Yeah, the dolphin can kick field goals. Yeah, as like a halftime sideshow. Well, there's nothing in the rule book that says you can't have a dolphin on the team. Sure. Yeah. And the dolphin was good.

You'd think maybe they would put him in for a play, but they never did. It was just a sideshow. Yeah. It's kind of segregation, actually. Yeah. I'm going to go ahead and say racist. Yeah. Yeah.

Is dolphin a race? Yeah. Oh, okay. It's a race of porpoise. Which animals are racist? Are also racist? You know, it's only three. There's only three. It's a race of porpoise. Which animals are racist? Are also racist. You know, it's only three. There's only three.

It's dolphins, porpoises, squirrels. Got it. All others are animals. So chipmunks, for example, are animals. Exactly. You got it. Okay. You're on the train.

Thank you, Jordan. You know, T-I-L, today I learned. Sure. Thank you very much. Let's get this on record. R-I-Y-L, accepting I Learned. Sure. Thank you very much. Let's get this on air. R-I-Y-L. Accepting squirrels as equals. Yeah.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jesse Go. Let's be honest. We live in a world with too much media. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, academic and disc junkie Margaret Wappler je suis as journalist and we watch listen to and read everything so that you don't have to and then we tell you about all the things that you'll love to love find us in iTunes

or wherever you download podcasts Pop Rocket every Wednesday from MaximumFun.org Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, Jordan Morris, boy detective. Judah Friedlander, the world champion. He is. It's nice to have a guest Jordan on the show who has a nickname coming in. Preloaded. Yeah. Yeah, it's nice.

I mean, it's like if we had Joe DiMaggio on the show. Sure, yeah. You know? He'd be saying, oh, I'm Jolton Joe DiMaggio. You know what? We should get Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Why have we not ever had D-T-R-J on? I'm more interested in Ted the Splendid Splinter Williams.

Oh, sure. There's a lot of great nicknames out there. Hey, if you're out there listening and you're a very famous person with a weird nickname, come on the show. There's one less little thing you'll have to worry about. What do you think? Do you think there's famous people out there who already have great nicknames? We just don't know about them because they're close to the public?

Oh, it could be. Like maybe people call Channing Tatum Shooter. Oh, you bet they do. Yeah. Shooter. Shooter. What's up, Shoot? Shoot.

Shoot it up. And then he does the robot for five minutes. Yeah. And you're like, he really moves well for such a well-muscled man. Sure, yeah. Light on his feet. Yeah, he really moves well for such a well-muscled man. Sure, yeah. Light on his feet. Yeah, he really is light on his feet.

There's an intensity behind his eyes. Surprisingly light on his feet. Shoot! Judah Freelander on the show today. He's got a beautiful

new book called If the Rain Drops United, which features his cartoons ranging from the silly to the satirical. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you very much. You're welcome. Yeah, I always did drawing and art as a kid. And then somewhere in junior high school, I started doing animation. I did that through high school and then even in my 20s some. And then I sort of went off and on for years doing art stuff. And then I kind of picked it up again a couple years ago when I was touring doing stand-up so much. You're taking a break from pranks.

Yeah, yeah. I'm never good at pranks. But I wanted to sort of a mix of like downtime of traveling constantly and then sort of like to battle anxiety. I kind of started drawing again. Sort of, you know, because my mind always races and stuff. So instead of just trying to calm it down, it's like just channel it somewhere else besides, you know, panicking.

Sure. Or just, you know, constantly working on my actor, the business stuff or whatever. I had Linda Barry on Bullseye not that long ago, and she made drawing seem so fucking cool. Like it was the greatest thing. Like she inspired me so much. I have not done any drawing. But I've thought a lot about what it would be like to draw because of Linda Barry.

And now you're inspiring me, Judah. That's what I do. Did you do this in part to inspire young people? Well, yeah. Some people talk about my drawings and they say, oh, it's a simplistic style or naive or crude. I've heard it described as folk art. I prefer the term inspirational. Right.

But, you know, when I was – my drawing, when I did – also, like, I'm older now. So it's like I get, like, you know, arthritis issues or muscle cramps. It sounds so terrible, like, lame to say, but it's like drawing, typing actually hurts me. You know, so I tend to draw faster than I used to draw. I used to spend 10 hours straight just doing all kinds of crazy, intense detail on drawings when I was in high school and afterwards. But now it's like I draw faster. But my drawings back in high school didn't have nearly as much brain and thought behind them.

So my drawings now are kind of a more simple style but with bigger ideas. Did you have a metal band that you designed logos for at all? No, but we actually had that as an art project in, I think, eighth grade art class was to design our own album cover. Wow. And I think mine was, I came up with the name Distortion, which I'm sure is- Oh, that's good. I'm sure that's been a million bands already. And so I just drew the letters.

I drew them in purple and yellow, and it was all completely distorted. And we drew it on a 12 by 12. I see it as like a Descendants-type band. Yeah. I don't know who that is, but it sounds correct. Did you envision the sound of Distorted or Distortion? Excuse me. Distortion.

Distortion. Did you envision what the band sounded like? Distorted is a 90s Orange County. Yeah. Well, this was, I'm older than you guys. This was like 83. So it was metal. It was something heavy metal.

Yeah, definitely. A lot of distorted guitar chords, I guess, and a lot of screaming and yelling. Do you still consider yourself metal, Judah? How metal would you say you are? You know, I like all kinds of music, but I still, you know, like the old 80s metal stuff. I also like Tom Jones a lot. Tom Jones has a new autobiography. I don't know if you guys knew that. No, yeah.

I didn't know that. It came in and- It's called You Won't Believe All the Pussy I've Gotten. It's just called Armpit Deep. Yeah. But yeah, I saw him twice live. I would love to see Tom Jones live. Great, amazing performer.

I think I really like going to see live music, but something that I feel like I have neglected in going to see live music is I don't see enough crooners. Yeah. I would like to go to more. Well, I know that you really loved that time you went to that Barry Manilow concert. Oh, yeah. I did go to a Barry Manilow concert. I saw a Barry Manilow concert.

In high school. I really liked it. It was amazing. I saw him. I was doing it. This was like probably 15 or more years ago. I'm doing a set at Gotham Comedy Club in New York. And a waitress goes to me, hey, I got an extra ticket to Barry Manilow.

And I'm like, you want to go? My friend can't make it. And I'm like, yeah. And she's like, it's six row seats, Radio City. I'm like, yeah. It was awesome. You don't have to stop. You just made exactly the right call.

Stop talking. Yes, I will go with you. You don't need to keep selling it just made exactly the right call. Stop talking. Yes, I will go with you. You don't need to keep selling it to me. I remember it was – He's going to do Copacabana. Oh, yeah. And that place is going to go fucking crazier than any place you've ever seen. And it did. Yeah.

He was promoting his album called Reminiscence. And so he was singing – the album was him singing big hits from the 70s that were not his. So some of his favorite songs that were big hits. So that's what a lot of the concert was. And then like, so about an hour into the concert, and he does funny banter in between the songs and stuff. Yeah, you know, I think I do remember that. Maybe my note to Barry, if you're listening, Barry, choo-choo man-a-lo. You put on a great show.

Yeah. Let's Talk More Rock. Really? Let's Talk More Rock. I hear you on that. And I do like stage banter a lot, and I really appreciate it. Well, this night, he didn't do too much. It was the perfect amount. Good, good, good.

It was like a little funny. I do remember seeing. It was like a very short, funny quip, and then on to the next song. So he's singing all these old 70s songs, covers, and then all of a sudden he goes, and this next song went all the way to number one in 1978, and it was mine. What? And then he starts like a fast-paced disco version of Copacabana. Yeah.

And then afterwards, I mean, everyone's standing throughout the whole song. They get up and stand. And a standing ovation afterwards. And then he goes, let's do it again. What? And he sang the song again. And everyone's standing ovation just going crazy. Let's do it again.

Everyone just lost it. It was great. I mean, when I went, I was in high school. I lost it. It was great. I mean, when I went, I was in high school, and I think I was going in the time where I think the place now is called the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater, but it was called Irvine Meadows back then. It was just a big amphitheater where, you know, the Barry Manilow. This is in?

Orange County. Irvine, California. Yeah, Irvine, California. This is before corporations. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It was briefly known. This is before corporations. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It was briefly known as the East India Company Theater. And we figured out how we could, like, sneak in. We found a little place in the parking lot where we could, like, jump a fence and then get into concerts that had poor security.

Right. That's awesome. If it was, like, a big band, they would, you know, if it was like a band that was popular at the time. Oh, not like a big band. Oh, no, no. Yeah. Not like Andy Kirk and his 12 Clouds of Joy.

I did a movie 10 years ago where I played that character, basically. Oh, yeah? Andy Kirk or the 12 Clouds of Joy? No, a guy trying to sneak into a concert. It was called the Darwin Awards. The movie didn't go anywhere. I thought it was really good. It had a huge cast.

It was like Joseph Fiennes, Manona Ryder, a lot of people. And I play a guy. It was me and Lucas Haas, and we play two high guys in the Seattle area, and we try to sneak into a Metallica concert. And my character gets killed trying to sneak into the Metallica concert. He makes it. So that reminds me of that. Nice. No, you know, that's funny.

I think Metallica was one of the concerts we tried to get into but couldn't. So I think that one was – That's why you lived. Yeah, right. That's why I'm here today is because the good people at Irvine Meadows were kind enough to keep me out of that Metallica. But we did go to see Barry Manilow. And, I mean, you know, I was, listen, I was 15 or 16, and I was there as a goof.

Jordan, I don't mean to break up the reality of your story, but we knew each other when you went to see Barry Manilow. So you were at least 18 or 19. Did I buy a ticket to go see Barry Manilow? No, you did jump the fence. Oh, I did. Was I still doing that in college? Yeah.

Okay, that was sad. I probably shouldn't have been doing that. No, no, you were, like, home for spring break or something. Yeah. Anyway, I did. Was I still doing that in college? Yeah. Okay, that was sad. I probably shouldn't have been doing that. No, no, you were like home for spring break or something. Yeah. Anyway, that embarrasses. I think if I think about it as- I don't think you should be embarrassed about this. I think it's great.

If I think about it as me in high school, I'm like, oh, that's a fun, youthful goof. But if you're 19 and you're going to see Barry Manilow, that's fun. Yeah, a little too old. A little too old. I would have hoped I would have... I want to be clear here that I was not bringing up your age in order to shame you. No, no, that's okay.

I still think it's fun. You're trying to... I think it's really fun. If you said to me, I know a way to sneak into the Barry Manilow concert tonight, I'm 34. Sure. I would say, let's do this if I can get a babysitter.

Yeah, yeah. Let me fucking just strap the baby this if I can get a babysitter. Yeah, yeah. Let me fucking strap the baby on, bring him with you. Baby Bjorn, or do you think I should use the Moby Wrap? I mean, whatever would decrease the amount that the baby's head is banging against the fence. The Tula carrier. Yeah, the Tula carrier. I would use the Tula carrier. My favorite part of your Barry Manilow story is your thoughts that where you're like, hey, Barry, less talk, more music. Yeah, right. That's a 19-year-old.

You're talking our ear off. Anytime Jordan goes to a show, there's a corresponding memorandum. It's like you snuck into that show to hear him sing, not to hear him talk. Yeah, not to hear him yak our ears off. But I definitely remember being there with a spirit of spirit of irony you know not taking this seriously this is funny this will be a fun story uh but when he started playing copacabana i really remember the explosive energy and just the nasty fuck stink wafting off that place when he played it. People were so excited.

Like, this, the, and you couldn't deny that energy, like how intense that was when the crowd at a Barry Manilow concert finally gets to hear Copacabana. It's amazing. Well, what I remember about it, I mean, I really think maybe it was your freshman year, my sophomore year of college, but I remember that you enjoyed the show so much that you were wracked with guilt

for having jumped over the fence and decided to buy a t-shirt while you were there. Oh, did I wear it? That is awesome. That is definitely a thing I would have done in college is wear a Barry Mandolin t-shirt around. I think you did the right thing. The thing that most dated it was it a Barry Mandolin t-shirt around. I think he did the right thing. I think so, too. The thing that most dated it was it was that kind of t-shirt, that kind of band t-shirt that was characterized by like a four or five inch horizontal band across the chest.

Oh, yeah, sure. You know, that kind of thing I'm talking about. Oh, I wish I still had that. Huh. Anyway. Lost to the ages. Jordan, we can't hold on to our youth. No, you know, that's true.

Granted, now, you were too old. Sure. You weren't at all. I would go see Barry Manilow in a second. Yeah, if he's coming to the Hollywood Bowl or something, I would see that. Jordan and I are going to see Don Rickles, Knock on Wood, in January. Oh, that's great. Where's he at?

He's at maybe the Saban Theater in Beverly Hills, something like that. That's great. It was one of those things where the tickets came up on Gold Star, the discount ticket service, but they came up a solid eight months before the show. And they were pretty expensive, so I don't think it was a bargain. I probably put $200 on our pair of tickets.

You know what I mean? Yeah. But when you're doing that, I don't think you get a refund if Don Rickles dies. So it's sort of like a reverse mortgage or a life insurance policy for Don Rickles. Sure. Like, if he lives, he gets paid for the concert. I just, I hope they don't replace him with Jeff Dunham. Yeah.

That's the worst case scenario. And I say this a little bit as a joke, but kind of seriously, I don't know if Rickles will top Elvira. I saw Elvira a couple weekends ago at the Not Scary Farm Halloween event. Oh, that's awesome. Jordan, can I? I heard she's super nice. And I just worry that I've already seen my, I've already seen a comedy legend, you know. I mean, Elvira. Is the other one going to be, is this other comedy legend going to be underwhelming?

I think that you made it clear that Elvira maybe topped Dame Edna, who we saw and really enjoyed. It was close. That's a close race. And so I think there's no reason that Don Rickles can't top Elvira. Now, I want to say one thing about Elvira. I'm glad you brought up Elvira. Yeah. There was a comment on Twitter or Reddit, I can't remember which, that said that I sounded like I was bored or uninterested in the fact that you and our last week's guest, Sarah Morgan, went to see Elvira.

That couldn't be further from the truth. I was and am sincerely jealous that you guys saw Elvira. You were jerking off because you were thinking about Elvira. Yeah. So that's why they would say. I love Elvira, too. So I just want to make it clear, if it sounded like I wasn't thrilled about you guys, that was purely because I'm a poor broadcaster. Not poverty-wise, but just quality-wise. Sure, you're doing all right.

You're doing all right. I'm fine. I'm fine, Jordan. I'm a homeowner. Sure. You know? I have a family. They go to preschool.

You bought a family. I had enough money to purchase a family. Now, granted, I had to put them on layaway. Oh, okay. Sure. But, you know, I own them now. They're yours. You're the owner.

Yeah. RTO. Rent to own. That's what I say. Just don't spill grape juice on them. Yeah. Exactly. While we were taking a break, you said you had a question for me.

Oh, well, your last name is Morris, correct? Are you aware that there is a soccer player who's on the U.S. men's national soccer team with the same name? This goes to Stanford. This is fun. I don't think we've talked about this on the show. Yes, I am. Hey, soccer nerds, I know that. Hey, soccer nerds, I know that.

Every time on Twitter, like soccer Twitter accounts will say like Jordan Morris. And I think this guy is good, right? Yeah, he is. He actually kind of – it seems like he got on the team almost as a goof because the men's team – he wasn't on the scouts radar at all. But the men's team was doing a practice game when they were training for a big game against Stanford. And he plays at Stanford and he lit up the U.S. national team and scored a couple goals against them. And that's how he sort of got on the team. Wow. So he seems to be a noteworthy player.

I mean I get Twitter spammed every time he does something and it seems like it happens pretty regularly. Yeah. Yeah. He's doing okay. Interesting. Yeah, it's weird. I know we have not— We can get him on Jordan Jesse Go, right? Do you think so?

Yeah. Brian, get Jordan Morris soccer player on Jordan Jesse Go. I think you can do this. I guess my Twitter name is Jordan underscore Morris. Do you think he's the guy who has Jordan Morris no underscore? Like he anticipated it when he was in high school? I think he's only 19 or 20. He's like, I'm probably going to be huge in some field.

Yeah. He's probably a really funny guy. I bet. You know what I mean? If there's one thing that can be said of soccer players at Stanford. Sure. Is their like off the cuff wit. Yeah.

Is really what keeps them. They go with it. When you talk about, you know, comedy in college, it's Harvard Lampoon and Stanford Soccer. Right.

Those are the two. Oh, that's where all the Simpsons writers come from. They were all on the Stanford Soccer team. Sure, yeah. And it's like,

if you really want diversity in writers' rooms, stop hiring exclusively people from the Stanford soccer team because you're not going to get diversity that way. I agree. If you want, honestly, Jordan, if you want diversity

in writers room, let's start hiring soccer players from Chivas. Mexican professional soccer team, Chivas. I think that's seriously a good idea. And what about arena football players? That's a really good point.

What about the San Jose Sabercats? You don't think they can write gags for the Pranksmen? They've got a perspective. I mean, with a name like the Sabercats, that's a creative name for a team. Well, they actually got that name because of their saber-like wit. A lot of people have rapier wit. They have saber wit. Cat-like reflexes. They're slashing than because of their saber-like wit. A lot of people have rapier wit. They have saber wit. Cat-like reflexes.

They're slashing than poking. Saber-like wit. Are you a soccer fan? Yeah, yeah. Soccer and ping pong are the two main sports of mine. So do you follow professional ping pong? I do, actually. Are you a ping pong player?

Yeah, I play ping pong. Do you play club ping pong like competitive ping pong at all? Both, yeah. And then I have friends who are top players and I'm not like an Olympic level top player. But I play tournaments. Are you not? For a tournament, I'm like a regular – I'm like average. But if someone doesn't play official tournaments, I should be able to easily beat anybody.

I think I know it. When you were saying that, I had a crazy sense of deja vu. I think – God, I forget who it was. I think one of the At Midnight writers was telling me about maybe the Sklar Brothers hosted a ping pong tournament. Yeah, it was actually last year at Moon Tower. This past year at Moon Tower Festival, they hosted an all-day ping pong tournament. And the Sklar Brothers do the commentating. They're absolutely hilarious, and they only interview the losers after the match, which I think is a brilliant idea.

And, yeah, so I won that thing. I think the tone of the story someone was telling me is that you fucking embarrassed everybody, like was not even a contest yeah i think so yeah you know our friend jim real the master of would you rather who's been numerous times a guest on jordan jesse go some at some point in his adulthood just started playing i think it was just like uh uh he's uh he's an engineer up in the bay area like a science engineer. His company works a lot with Asian companies. And so there's a lot of Chinese and Korean guys that he works with, places where ping-pong is a much bigger sport. Ping-pong, actually, in this country, period, some of the best ping-pong clubs and training centers are in the Bay Area. Yeah, and he just, like, got obsessed with ping-p with ping pong and became like a – I mean, he's ranked

like number 347 or something like that, but somehow became a ranked ping pong player just because of his obsession with ping pong. There's a few other people. Well, in comedy, Frank Caliendo and actually Jonathan Katz. Really? When he was younger, yeah. He was like actually a top junior. Jonathan Katz.

Really? When he was younger, yeah. He was like actually a top junior. And then also in the, well, puzzles and podcasts world, radio world, Will Shorts is actually a big ping pong player. He actually owns his own ping pong club in Westchester, New York. That's one of the best in the country. I'm not trying to use Jordan's catchphrase here, but that tracks. Yeah. Yeah.

It seems like that fits. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It seems like that fits. Yeah. In at this Moon Tower comedy thing. Is there a is there a comedian now that offered even a little bit of a challenge or. No, there was. It was hilarious. They had because it was comics. They build it as like comics versus audience. OK. So it was I think anybody can join it, you, but, but I got to see Emo Phillips play ping pong and he was trying his hardest and, and so was the guy he was playing and Emo beat him and it was, they were two of the worst players I'd ever seen. And Emo won and it was just, it was one of the most entertaining things I've seen. It was, it was great. Amazing. Yeah. I mean, he's always been kind of a jock. Right, yeah. Yes, I agree. Is there, are you planning on playing ping pong while you're in town anywhere? I actually played today. I'm at the Standard Hotel, and they actually have two free ping pong tables out in the

lounge pool area there. So, you know, I travel with my own paddle. Do you have to, like, do it left? If you're just in a public place playing ping pong, do you have to do it left-handed or something like that? Yeah, I can switch hands. Yeah, I'm left-handed. I'm actually pretty good.

Have you ever played Susan Sarandon? We've played doubles partners once against some other people. Yeah. Did you win? It was just hitting around. It was an exhibition. It wasn't a game. Sure.

But we would have won. Isn't Sarandon a noted ping pong player? Yeah. She owns a ping pong club, doesn't she? Yeah. She's not a noted player, but she's a noted, I guess, fan and supporter of ping pong. Yeah. There's a club called Spin in New York, and they have one here.

It's actually in the Standard Hotel downtown. And yeah, she's one of the owners of that. I didn't know that. I don't know if you knew this. She's also a very attractive woman and great at acting. Interesting. So that's three cool facts about Susie.

She's actually one of the few ping pong club owners who's a brilliant actor. Yeah. Although Will Shorts is not bad sure like will shorts is pretty good he can't carry a movie but he can come in and do his puzzle master shit sure yeah you know what i mean sort of like if you're looking for somebody to do a puzzle master role yeah if the writing's already there but you probably shouldn't ask him to improvise a scene. It's like Eminem was good in 12 Mile.

8 Mile, yeah. 8 Mile. Well, he was good in 12 Mile, which is the seventh sequel. How's Daniel Day-Lewis as a ping pong player? Do we know? I don't know. Intense, probably intense. For a ping pong player, he is a very good shoemaker.

Right. So there's that. Okay. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Judah Friedlander, the champ.

Okay. Here's the details of the bullseye tour. Friday, November 13th, that's this coming Friday, if you're listening to this show the week it comes out. We're in Los Angeles. We have William H. Macy, the great Baron Vaughn, hilarious stand-up comedian, the great band Chicano Batman. Awesome. And past Jordan Jesse Goh guest Matt Walsh and Brian Husky of Veep and the new movie A Better You. Which I've seen.

Real funny. Yeah. Those guys are two of the funniest guys on earth. Totally. Like if you really would be hard pressed to find two funnier dudes than Matt Walsh and Brian Husky. Wednesday, November 18th, Cambridge, Massachusetts. That's near Boston. Great. Sort of part of Boston. I, Cambridge, Massachusetts. That's near Boston. Great.

It's sort of part of Boston. I love Cambridge. Yeah. It's a great place to have somebody tell you about to car talk. Barney Frank is going to be there. The world's funniest congressman who's not Al Franken. Lamont Price, very funny Boston-based stand-up comic. And Mission of Burma

hey cool wow great Mission of Burma is actually flying in a guy who does not live in Boston

most of them live in Boston but one of them doesn't so that they can do this show it's going to be an interview

and they're going to do some songs and where is that that's in that's in Boston a place called I believe the Oberon couple of hot lineups

awesome Brooklyn Tavi Gevinson Aparna Nancharla, one of the funniest comics in the country. She's a friend of mine. She's hilarious. Yeah, really. Farrell Monch, one of my favorite rappers of all time.

And just added a guy called David Cross. Have you heard of this guy? I think so, from the world of being a comedy legend, right? Yeah, you got it. Exactly. Then we're doing Make Your Thing, my talk about making independent media with John Hodgman in Manhattan.

Philadelphia, we have Dr. Robert Hicks, who's one of the directors of the Motor Museum, which is going to put, like, gross oddities in my hand. Yeah, that's a pretty wild museum, yeah. Totally amazing. Hari Kondabolu, another past guest of Jordan Jesse Go, one of the funniest dudes. Joel Hodgson, who you might have heard of, Jordan.

Hey, sure. And in Washington, D.C., Ray Suarez, Dan Deacon, and another really funny comic, Phoebe Robinson. Really great lineups, bullsitour.com. Get some tickets right now because they're about to be sold out. Actually, Philly just sold out, so I don't know why I gave out that lineup. Sorry. Just to taunt people. Yeah, you can go to the Brooklyn show. Get on StubHub.

Yeah, get up on StubHub. You think there's tickets for our shows on StubHub? I don't know. Brian, check if there's tickets for our shows. Let's buy some tickets for my show on StubHub. Why go to bullsitour.com when you can go to StubHub? When something momentous happens to you, like you booked David

Cross on your show in Brooklyn, we ask that you call us for our segment Momentous Occasions. 206-984-4FUN is our telephone number. 206-984-4FUN Try and spell out fun in case anybody doesn't know how that's

spelled, Judah. Nothing wrong with doing that. Let's hear our first call. This is Jacob somewhere in the void that is North Dakota. I was doing my nightly Googling to entertain myself. There's nothing else to do here.

Adding on different nouns to the search term furry, I came across furry Jesus, where I saw a wonderful furry rendition of The Last Supper, where I believe Jesus was an anthropomorphic ferret. But the best one of all was a furry 9-11

tribute art, where I saw pretty sure it was made in Microsoft Paint, anthropomorphic Simba and Nala from The Lion King, in front of an American flag background with the Twin Towers on fire and some sort of sappy patriotic statement, or patriotic statement, hanging out on the background as well. Too soon? Or not soon enough? Not sure.

Happy to contribute. Have a good night, guys. We're glad he didn't do this grudgingly. First and foremost. Sure, yeah. Really bizarre. The most bizarre fan-arty thing I've seen on the Internet recently. And I forget the Google hole that I was spelunking down to get to this.

We should explain. You live in North Dakota. There's literally nothing to do there. Right, yeah. You put on a miner's hat with a little lamp and you Google. This guy is acting like there's no television. And films and books. Sure.

And nature. There's four cool things to do before... Sexual intercourse. Sports. Before Googling furry Jesus. Furry 9-11. I don't know. You just finished up the latest season of Penny Dreadful on Showtime Now.

You don't have anything else to do. So you Google furry 9-11. Go to Mount Rushmore. Okay, sure. That's my recommendation. Again. Next time you feel the urge to Google furry 9-11, go to Mount Rushmore. The weirdest one of these that I've seen is McGruff the Crime Dog.

Right. This also looks like it was made in Microsoft Paint, although someone who had a masterful command of it. Thank you for clarifying that it was McGruff the crime dog. Yeah. And not say McGruff the city commissioner. Cop troller McGruff. McGruff the chaplain. Yeah, this is the crime dog.

Yeah. McGruff the crime dog opening his trench coat like a flasher with a giant red erection in front of a child who looks horrified. Wait, so this is child abuse? Wait, hold on. I have a question. What was the Google search for this one? I wish I knew. He was just searching for child abuse.

Sure, yeah. Whoa, this is too much. I was searching for beloved mascot Sully. Initially, the first thing you got was the Miami Dolphins dolphin. Right, yeah. From a deleted scene in Ace Ventura. Yeah, second thing was St. Louis Rams wide receiver Flipper Anderson. Los Angeles Rams, I guess, at the time.

flipper anderson los angeles rams i guess at the time um so yeah he and the the the deliberate look of terror on the child's face really sticks with me i can see that little ms paint face when i close my eyes like the decision to make the child hate mcgruff's dick was very particular and very baffling. In a way, Jordan, your job writing for At Midnight is a little like being a war correspondent in that there are things you can't unsee. No, yeah, thank you, and thank you for making that.

I think this... Oh, this was just in my home Googling. No, but I think this painting you're talking about really says a lot about police corruption. You know, I think it's a heavy statement. No, maybe that's something that I neglected. I was maybe not seeing the satire that was implicit in this. So, no, thank you for bringing that up.

I just thought it was the sexual leanings of a dark mind. Can I tell you something, an experience that I had that is actually directly related to you and your career, Jordan? Sure. I was up in San Francisco this week on a brief business trip. And I had a meeting with a man named Alexis, who's probably best known for being the co-founder of Reddit. Okay. And I'm chatting with him about business matters. Sure. As you do with tens of millions there.

I think he sold Reddit to, he and his co-founder sold Reddit early. To 4chan, right? Yes. They're not hundreds of millions there. But they're, I think they sold it to the Silk Road. Okay. Sure. Yeah.

Yeah. Right. But tens of millions heir. Very, very nice man. And there was a point in the conversation where I thought I just had this – you know how you have those kind of momentary thoughts that are – it takes a little – like a sentence or two to express them. But they feel – it's like looking at a picture of the thought that you can understand. And the thought was, I can now mention slash R slash Dragon's fucking cars. Oh yeah, sure.

Should I mention that to the founder of Reddit? Yeah. And I was like, you know what? I may never again speak with Alexis, the founder of Reddit. Yeah. And I was like, you know what? I may never again speak with Alexis, the founder of Reddit. I might as well just say something about Dragon's fucking cars. He's familiar with it and thinks it's fun. Great. Yeah.

Great. I'm glad we have that closure now. He had this. Judah, for you, there is a section of Reddit devoted to people drawing pictures of and sometimes animating Dragon's fucking cars. Okay. Yeah. And he had the thought. He expressed to me the same thing that I think any right-thinking person who sees the Dragon's fucking car subreddit, the thought that any of those people would have, which essentially is, you know, they do a really nice job with that.

Sure. Like they put the effort in and they come out with a pretty impressive product. So there you go. That was Jesse's meeting with an important internet person. That's part of our segment, Jesse ruins a business meeting. Let's take our next call. He just tore up the check he was about to give you as soon as he said, this isn't going to work out. Hi, Jordan, Jesse Guest.

This is Paul from Maryland. I'm calling with a momentous occasion. I was driving down the street, and on either side of the road, when I came to a stoplight, there were two hobos. And when I say hobo, I mean what you imagine a hobo looks like in your head. And they were yelling at each other. And finally, one of them starts going across the street to the other one. And they both put up their dukes. Like, again, like cartoon turn-of-the the century pugilist would put up their dukes and they square off for a second and one of them flings a punch at the first one and completely misses

and falls on his face in the ground and the second one grabs him by the collar and like helps him up at this point like hey buddy i, buddy, I'm really sorry. I'm sorry we were fighting. That was bad. Like, you all right? And they just checked up on each other, and then they walked off together. And it was just the strangest thing I'd ever seen. That's hobo code.

That's my momentous occasion. Love the show. See you later. Bye. We love you, too. That's the hobo's code. Sure, yeah. It's a fraternity. What do you picture when That's the hobo's code. Sure, yeah. It's a fraternity.

What do you picture when you picture a hobo? Yeah, I mean top hat with the top flopping off. Right, like exactly. That's the main thing I'm imagining. Besides a bindle, the main thing I'm thinking about is that kind of hat where it's like you're almost done opening a can of chili. Sure. Judah, hobo thoughts? What to you makes a hobo?

You know, it's an older term that you don't hear too much anymore. I think of carrying a long stick. Yeah. And on the end of it is some cloth that's actually like your bag of stuff. Judah, that's called a bindle, and I already brought it. Oh, see, I didn't know what a bindle was. Well, it's the stick that has a bag of cloth at the end that a hobo carries. It's called a bindle. You know, I don't have a strong vocabulary.

It's adequate. It usually gets me through most situations. Judah, we emailed before you came on the show, didn't we? No, I don't think so. Yeah, we did. I think you emailed me and mentioned you were coming to town and I invited you on Jordan Jesse Go is what I remember happening. Yeah.

And I remember asking you to refresh your hobo vocabulary. Oh. Your ho-cabulary. Yeah, no, I must have... Ho-cabulary is a different thing. Maybe that was all the way at the end of the email and I missed it or something. So you didn't even. Was it an attachment?

Did you send that as an attachment, Jesse? Yeah, we sent it as a PDF because it's universally readable. It doesn't matter what device it is. Well, if you haven't updated your phone's reader, sometimes those won't open. So maybe that's. I don't know. Well, you know, the term hobo is derogatory. So maybe –

Tell that to the mayor of Hoboken. Wow, I better not do that. That would be awkward. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know. I think I have a spam, you know, a filter that filters out that kind of language. Oh, offensive language.

Yeah. Yeah, derogatory language. So maybe that's why it wasn't in there. Yeah, maybe you should just ask me if you want people to see your... And Bindle was in there, but I didn't know. Bindle does seem like it could be a slur. Yeah, I don't know what Bindle means. No, Bindle's taking all our jobs. You also didn't get that email I sent about

how I got gypped? No, I did not. There you go. Did you get my email about the deceptive Dutch? No. No. Well. No. I don't get any of these emails.

Man, what's that? You know what? My email cares. Okay? We should all have a filter on our emails. Yeah, the security on my email has a conscience. Seems like the world should put this filter on, if you ask me.

An SJF, if you will. Social justice filter. Sure, yeah. I'm for that. I like it. Guys, I think we just became socialpreneurs. Terrific. You're welcome, America. And the world. Hey, Toms, take a hike.

Yeah. We don't need your shoes anymore. There's a new game in town. Yeah. It's a social justice filter. You filter out slurs from your email. Yeah. Why not?

If you've got a momentous occasion for us, 206-9844-FUN or email us at jjgoe at maximumfun.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris. Boy detective. The world champion. Judah Friedlander. The world champion, Judah Friedlander.

The world champion now of authors. His second book, If Raindrops United. Yep. If the Raindrops United. Yeah, no, that's actually the nickname

for the book is If Raindrops United. Cool nickname. So yeah, no, it's a new book I have. It just came out two weeks ago and I'm in LA doing a couple events for it. Yeah, I was going to say, are you doing book stuff for it? new book I have. It just came out two weeks ago, and I'm in L.A. doing a couple of events for it.

Yeah, I was going to say, are you doing book stuff for it? Yeah, I am. I'm doing a show this Wednesday at the Hollywood Improv on Melrose. It's basically me doing a headlining stand-up show, but everyone who comes to the show gets a free copy of the book, and I'll sign the book after the show. the show gets a free copy of the book and I'll sign the book after the show. And then Friday I'm doing a free event at Skylight Books, a bookstore called Skylight Books. And there I'm doing about an hour-long presentation and then assigning afterwards. And the presentation is, you know, my book is a book of drawings and cartoons, but it's

more of a serious discussion where I talk about what goes into – especially the drawings that are more dealing with social issues, whether it's classism or racism or gun control or other government oppression. So I talk about the serious side of things, and I also talk about sort of my history with drawing and how I came up with some of these. And then I do a Q&AA and then I do a signing afterwards. So those are my two events. Are you doing anything? Have you already done stuff in New York? The book's been out like a couple weeks, right? Yeah, I did a couple events just like that in New York City.

I did a bookstore thing in Brooklyn, did a show at the Village Underground in Manhattan. And then I did a signing at the Brattle in Manhattan, and then I did a signing at the Brattle Theater in Cambridge that Harvard Bookstore put on, and that was great. And then this week, I have a couple here, and then I have some more coming up soon in Toronto, and then I just got some regular stand-up tour stuff in Buffalo and Philadelphia, and then back in New York. Where can people find your dates

for Toronto, Buffalo, et cetera, et cetera? I would go to judafriedlander.com. Yeah. That's a good place. That sounds like

a hot spot. It's a fun place to hang out. And then also, I've been posting some new drawings of mine as well as some old ones that are in the book,

but some new drawings that are not in the book on my Instagram and my Twitter, which is at Judah World Champ, J-D-A-H World Champ. Have you thought about putting any VR experiences into judahfreelander.com? You know, I just got approached. Someone wanted to film me using all that. Masturbating.

No, all that new – That I've done. But film my stand-up set with the new technology cameras. Really? Wow. Yeah. But I haven't seen it yet, so I don't know what it looks like. I saw a little bit of it.

I don't know that it would be good for comedy, really. Actually, I've seen a couple stand-up specials shot with those, and it's like you're really bowling. I think you're thinking of the Wii, Nintendo Wii. Oh, right. Sorry. Wait, no. I'm thinking of Sony Metreon. Who did stand-up specials with those VR cameras?

Who did a special with those? I don't know. I don't know. No, it's okay. Judah, when you do your date at Skylight Books, are you open to interacting with the cat that lives there? You know, I'm actually, I'm not a big fan of cats. Okay. So you would prefer that the cat.

Well, for the cat's safety. Sure, yeah. The cat should not have much interaction. We should explain that Judah is what's called an elf. Alien life form. You may eat the cat. He's from the planet Melmack. Sure, it's a concern.

Okay. It's a good planet. So maybe if the cat sure he's from the planet Melmac sure it's a concern okay it's a good planet so maybe if the cat's listening maybe take the night off I mean I kill him as a friend but you know let's not get carried away okay

Judah Friedlander it's a it's a wonderful delightful book one of the funniest nicest guys in comedy if you're in any of those places

get out there and support Judah we're so happy to have him on the show. I would like to thank Christian Duenas who was running the board this week.

Of course, he's a major Jordan Jesse Go celebrity. Sure. As not only the guy whose grandfather's favorite genre of film is talking dog movies,

but also the guy who created the animated gif of me and Jordan bumping our butts, which we have declared publicly is the greatest piece of Jordan Jesse Go fan art ever. It's the one to beat. Yeah. I mean, look, with apologies to all the great past Jordan Jesse Go fan artists.

Yeah. I mean, look, this is not an insult to Zylo art. No. Okay? This is not about putting to Zylo art. Okay? This is not about putting down Smart Bunny. This is about celebrating Christian and this animated gif he made of us bumping our butts together. Brian Fernandez, of course, the producer of the program. Special guest this week, laughing in the background, Art Santana from Ground Control up in the Portland, Oregon area.

background Art Santana from Ground Control up in the Portland, Oregon area. And if you want to hashtag JordanJesseGo, it's JJGo on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram and so on and so forth, Tumblr. We are on Twitter, at Jesse Thorne, at Jordan underscore Morris. Wait, at J. Morris. Oh, yeah. What was the soccer players? J. Morris Soccer 13. J. Mo Smooth 13. Is the Oh, yeah. What was the soccer players? J. Morris Soccer 13. J. Mo Smooth 13. Is the professional soccer player.

J. Mo Smooth 13 is where to go to find Jordan Morris. That's me, yeah. And we're on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com where there's always a fun discussion every week. And literally zero Dragons fucking cars. Yeah. So let's get on that, everybody. Yeah, come on, gang. So throw some D's, F's, and C's up there.

Yeah. Throw some D's on that C as the rap song. Sure. Yeah, so that's it this week for Jordan and Jesse Goh, but it has been a joy to speak with you. Jordan.

I agree. I agree. I'm going to agree with that. Thank you for having me. Yeah, it's been a lot of fun. It's been a lot of fun. Very cool. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan and Jesse Goh.

Bye. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.