Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 409: The Hateful Vape with Allegra Ringo and Renee Colvert

Episode Date: December 28, 2015

Allegra Ringo and Renee Colvert from the MaxFun show "Can I Pet Your Dog?" join Jordan for a special holiday episode including hot toddy recipes, Jordan’s Mom’s review of Creed and the challenge of picking a movie to watch with your family on Christmas.

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan and Jesse Goh. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jesse Thorne out spending the holidays with family members, but because I have my priorities straight, I have said fuck you to family, and I am here with you, the podcast listener, the only person that matters. Yeah. So I guess just on behalf of Jesse, I'm sorry that his priorities are so out of whack that he's, you know, with loved ones, you know, celebrating and, you know, this magical time of year when I am forsaking everyone else at the expense of my relationships, at the expense of my own happiness.

And I am here with you recording an episode because you are more important than my family. You're more important than my family. You're more important than the season. I think you are, I don't want to say more important because that's blasphemous, but you are as important as the reason for the season. Jesus Christ. I'm Jordan Morris. I'm here for you with an episode of Jordan and Jesse Go. Jesse is not here, but I have two fantastic co-hosts for the episode. Two very capable and impressive podcast hosts, writers, comedians, gals about

town, Allegra Ringo and Renee Colvert from the Can I Pet Your Dog podcast. Guys, welcome to the program. Jordan, thank you for having us. Thank you for having us. This is my very sexy, not sick, but semi-voiceless co-host Renee. Well, now, see, I... You've got a scratch, you've got a scruff. I've got a little scruff.

Now, I would love to tell you that it's from a cold, but guys, I think I enjoyed a little bit of that cider and rum a little too much, and I might have drink in my way. So you think this is a rum-based throat problem? Could be, yeah. This is rum-fueled. You've got pirate throat, they call it. Yes, yes.

When one has too much rum and their voice gets piratey. Precisely. This is your medical opinion. Right. Got it, okay. But I'm pretty sure it's correct. And I don't want to give you a run for your money as far as being professional, but I showed up with maybe still a little bit of rum in me.

Okay. So together, we're what a troopers. What troopers we both are. You know what? We're better to sober up than on a podcast. Yep, exactly. Have you guys done a lot of holiday-based drinking? Have you had a lot of nogs, a lot of toddies, a lot of things like that?

We have. Well, because I can't speak for Renee in terms of what all she's consumed, but I did make her and I hot toddies just the other night. And I got to say they were pretty good, weren't they? Excellent. They're excellent. Now, I am a little bit partial to hot toddies just because I'm from Colorado, and that's what our folks would give us to feel better when we were sick. Oh, sure. As kids?

Yeah. Wow. You guys are cool. And if the kids are being lame at a party. Yeah. Lube them up a little bit. Yeah, I, a little bit of honey, a little bit of lemon juice. And if the kids are being lame at a party. Yeah, right. Lube them up a little bit. Yeah, I get that. How else are they going to learn?

Sure, exactly. You got to do it right. Can't be a square. So I probably affiliate the feeling of like, oh, I'm being taken care of. People are looking after me with a hot toddy. So it was delicious, but it also felt nurturing. Right. So it's a warm, it's an inclusive feeling, the feeling of the toddy.

I think so. And I do think a lot of people have them when they're sick. And it's like, it's a very soothing drink. Have you partaken of any toddies or any nods? I did. I had a toddy a couple of nights ago, and it was terrific. And I usually, my, you know, my drinking evening, I like to kind of start with a more complicated cocktail

from at a place that, like, you know, with a more complicated cocktail if I'm at a place that mixes a nice old-fashioned or jackhammer and hard hat. I don't know what they fucking call these things these days. That's definitely it. The old jackhammer and hard hat. Very classy. Very fancy. Yeah, it's just a – it's vermouth and milk. It's very nice.

Very expensive. It is – right. It costs $19. And it ismouth and milk. It's very nice. Very expensive. It is – right. It costs $19 and it is mixed to you. Worth it though. It is mixed for you by a man with a terrible mustache. Table size. Yeah. So I had – so I usually – if there's something fancier on the menu, I'll have one of those and then for the rest of the evening, I'll just have a simpler cocktail, a whiskey and soda, tequila and soda, something on the rocks.

Because I feel like when you have more than one of those kind of complex, notey, often sugary drinks, I don't know. For me, the buzz just is not as fun. It becomes a schlump, a schlog, kind of that kind of feeling. But the other night when I had the toddy, I went ahead and ordered a second toddy. That toddy was so good. And I know it's not the most complex, sugary of those types of drinks, but it is, you know, there is more to it. So I, guys, I lied to you. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. I had a third. Whoa. Now, where was this? Toddy 3. This was atoh. Let's hear it. I had a third. Whoa. Now, where was this? Toddy 3. This was at a great new place in LA. Is that the name of the place? Toddy 3?

Toddy 3? Yeah, Toddy 3. That's a cool sounding restaurant. Yeah. It's after you see The Hateful Eight in theaters, go see The Toddy 3. It is a significantly less violent movie. Still a lot of use of the N word. That's good.

Okay. What a romantic evening. Yeah. I like it. Okay. This was at a neat place in LA called Harlow, which is kind of use of the N-word. That's good. Okay. What a romantic evening. Yeah. I like it. Okay. This was at a neat place in LA called Harlow, which is kind of the new place to go and have a man in a mustache makes you a- In a mustache.

Yes. Not with a mustache, but in a mustache. No, no. He's inside a mustache. What happens is they have a giant mustache in the middle of the room and he parts it. Oh, that's a cool gimmick. And he comes out and takes your order and then he disappears into the mustache and then emerges with your drink. It's really, really amazing.

That's very head. That's real fun. Do they sell merch? Can you leave with your own little mustache merch? I feel like those places should start selling clip-on or glue-on mustaches so you can look like your favorite bartender. Oh, yeah. That's fair. That's fair.

So three toddies, Jordan. That's pretty delicious. Three toddies, Jordan. That's pretty delicious. Three toddies. I believe. Honestly, we had one, and then Renee left, and I was like, do I make another one? And I was like, no, because then I'll never stop. What are the – I guess I was not even – when I was drinking these three toddies, I am maybe not clear on what the – what's the recipe for the perfect toddy, would you say? Do you guys both have opinions on this?

Well, I can give you Colorado Homegrown. Let's hear it. Let's hear what's the Colorado toddy. Sure. So it is all equal parts, honey, lemon juice, and Jack Daniels. Okay. Sometimes I do it without the honey and lemon juice. Okay. So just straight

Jack Daniels. What do you do? Well, but then do you put hot water? Nope. No water. Wait, so you're hot. Is it hot then? This is just a hot glass of booze. This is like a hot syrup. Wait, what's hot about it? How do you heat it up? Oh, you can put it in the microwave. You got the problems with this?

So this is just microwaved Jack Daniels, it sounds like. That's it, guys. That's it. That's the secret recipe. Well, this is not a Colorado toddy. This is one I found on the internet, toddy. Toddy from toddy.com. Toddy.com.

Very expensive domain to purchase. Yeah, sure. I don't remember the measurements, but it was, I think you could choose whatever booze you wanted. I put bourbon and lemon and then honey and then hot water. You could also use tea instead of boiling water if you wanted to. Yeah, okay. But we didn't because it was nighttime.

We didn't want to be up all night. We're not that because it was nighttime. We didn't want to be up all night. We're not that crazy. No, you definitely don't want to be up all night. No. But that's what it was. So I feel like your Colorado toddy must have been very thick. It is. Yeah.

Okay. Interesting. It's great. It's great. And it's a high concentration. So three, you'd be feeling real good about things. Colorado these days, you'd probably throw a little legal weed in there too. Absolutely.

Oh, God. Absolutely. Just a little zest of weed on the top. When I was home for the holidays, they have a sign out where they want the goats to take care of the weeds. And it says, support weed-eating goats. Oh, guys. That's real weed. But they meant weed.

Yeah. Colorado has that thing where they, you know, a humane and environmentally friendly way to clear a hill is just to bring a bunch of goats up there. There you go. Take care of them. That's really cool. Yeah, yeah. And then have a little fun with the weed thing. Yeah.

One of my house in college, my, like, cool senior year college house, we had a hill across the street from us that had goat clearers. Oh, yeah. And, foo boy, just, we had a porch. You just sit on the porch and just watch those goats go to town on that hill. Oh, that's fun as hell. It was a beautiful time in my life. Was it up in Santa Cruz? It was in Santa Cruz, yeah.

Yeah, see, I feel like that's a real – I've seen goats in Portland also. It's a real kind of like hippie-ish town, I feel like. Like, we're all natural here. We let the goats clear the land. We don't worry about it. I think that goes with that kind of crunchy white know, that kind of crunchy white person vibe is a lot of hill goats. Hill goats. Give me those goats.

Now, did you get to watch them enough that you had a favorite goat? You're like, ah, yeah, Billy's out today. I just liked them as a group. Sure. Yeah, I don't think I had a favorite goat. So you weren't bummed out of the spotted one, wasn't there? No. I think it was the same group of goats every time.

Although I could be wrong. Possibly. Because I am racist against goats and i think they all look the same they all look the same sorry sorry it's a hard time telling them apart i won't tell my goat you said that uh but back to your toddy do you know what they put in it did they i think if i was to go back i think uh i think we just you know we ordered them everybody's like do you guys make a hot toddy and fucking mustache man was like yeah like, yeah, I can make a hot toddy. If I was to guess, I would say that I think it was made with tea. It felt like it was made with like a black tea. I think I had a little shave of cinnamon in there.

Ooh, that sounds nice. But I think this is what you're getting when you're eating a pro toddy. You're not just getting a microwave glass of honey. Yeah, this is not just someone. Jack Daniels for $17. Someone throws a coffee mug full of booze in the microwave. It's too bad. Like it was a cup of noodles.

Well, before you guys, I was thinking about opening up my own bar, but now that you've brought this to my attention, maybe it's not that. Renee's Bar. But I mean, I think you can advertise it as kind of a local delicacy. And I think that's a big kind of foodie trend. It's like here's this ice cream from Portland or like here is this coffee from Maine. And we're here and we've opened up our shop. I mean I think you can do – you could probably have a Portland toddy bar. All you need, a couple bottles of Jack Daniels.

Love it. Nice microwave. You can get one of those at Sears. Get a nice GE or a Westinghouse. This is amazing. And you just start microwaving booze, charge people 12 bucks a pop for it. I like it. Renee's Colorado Totties.

I think it sounds incredible. Are you available to our corporate video of how to set up your own Renee's Colorado shop? Because that was a wonderful delivery. Oh, yeah. You could franchise this. Oh, this is pretty. You're going to be real rich. I mean, super low overhead.

But I think if you kind of decorate it like, Portland ski chalet or something like that, people feel like they're getting a local experience. Something. Yeah. Yeah. And you just made it sound so simple. Just Jack Daniels. Sears top. Microwave.

Yeah. Okay. Put on the Rockies game. Oh, there you go. Yeah. I'm sold, guys. Get that Colorado experience. Let's do it.

On the topic of Christmas and Christmas traditions, I want to talk a little bit about Christmas movie going. I think that there are a lot of exciting movies out there, and definitely going to see movies is a big part of my family's Christmas tradition. It's a little basic, I'll admit, but it's fun and it's something we we really enjoy doing together is you know as a family uh you know having a little dinner having a little lunch going to that christmas day movie it's always a lot of fun um is this something you guys do or do you guys are you guys more uh less basic than my family i guess is what i'm asking I think it's brilliant because you get full points for being with a family, but maybe if we've had a little bit too much family time, then you don't have to keep going. Yeah, it's a nice time where you can kind of put the chit-chat on hold, be together,

but something else. Is that something you guys do or not? It's not part of your... We never have. I always thought it was very... I remember hearing in grade school that some families went to the movies on Christmas Day and I thought that was the coolest thing ever. Yeah.

But it sounded very sacrilegious to me because Christmas Day is a very strict stay home and relax and wear your pajamas. Having to get out of your pajamas would be the difficult part. Yeah. It's like we don't go anywhere. We might go visit a relative maybe, but it was always a big you have to lounge around the difficult part. Yeah, it's like we don't go anywhere. We might go visit a relative, maybe, but it was always a big, you have to lounge around the house day.

So we never did anything, but I always thought it sounded really fun. I don't think it's basic. I don't think this sounds fun to me. Okay. Super fun. So we haven't done it. We end up doing games that are much worse.

We can circle back around, and I'll tell you about this. This is like a Scrabble, like charades. Well, no, it's one of those fun twists. Twister family twisters. Exactly, exactly. I think that's the game we all want to play with our extended family. We all want our uncle's butt in our face.

Oh, yeah. This year, my little nephew got a hold of a game called Pie Face. Have you guys heard about this game? No, uh-uh. Oh, my gosh, no, but I think I've seen Instagrams of it. Jordan, can I tell you about Pie Face? Please tell me about Pie Face. All right, so Pie Face is, I would say, on par with the quality of Mousetrap.

Like no less than eight cents was used. Okay. Yeah, sure. Bottom baseman. And I think the popularity of it was, I don't know if it went viral, but there was a video of a dad and a kid playing Pie Face. And it was, oh, they were having the best time. And it was just a home video.

So it wasn't a commercial. So every kid thinks you want it. So the way that it's set up is, I'm going to need a better example other than Russian roulette, but it's kind of like that. It's like Russian roulette for kids. It's great, you guys. It's the best. Yeah. So what happens is you put your chin on kind of like when you would go to the eye doctor, that type of device.

So you put your chin on that and then you – And this is a game you would buy at a Toys R Us. Like this is a boxed product. Yeah, exactly. And then once your chin is on there, your face goes through sort of a clown hole so you look like you're a clown.

Okay. And then on the other side, you put Cool Whip on and then you click as many clicks as your little spinner tells you to click and periodically...

Oh, that's fun! ...it will... Oh, that's fun! ...in your face. Okay. Yeah. What a treat. What fun.

Maybe you'll get whipped cream in your face. And is there... So you put your face in the clown face. Yes. And you roll a die or something for how many clicks you do? How can you tell how many clicks you have to do? Well, already, I think you're making the game better. It's a spin.

Oh, okay. Sure, sure. So you spin for how many clicks? You can get up to five. So you spin. You click as many as you can. Sometimes it okay. Sure, sure. So you spin for how many clicks? You can get up to five. So you spin. You click as many as you can. Sometimes it pops. Sometimes it doesn't.

The thing that was funny for my family is my nephew got it. There were 11 adults there. My nephew was adamant that like, oh, now that I've seen this, this seems like a terrible idea. So each one of the adults individually went. It was like, no, it's fine. It's the best. It's so much fun. So we all ended up with whipped cream on our face.

And Miles was like, you dumb-dumbs. I'm not going to put my face into this clown. We didn't do it. He didn't do it? He didn't do it. So that's why I'm in support of a movie. We all should have just gone and seen a good dinosaur. Nobody would have whipped cream on their face.

My nephew would have been happier. Great. Have you thought about maybe having a little Colorado flip on this? Where instead of whipped cream, you scalding hot Jack Daniels? Fling that in your face. I think that's – no, but then you've got a scar and you're like pie face. You get a little scar, a little buzz. So yeah, and that's interesting.

You mentioned good dinosaur. And I think if you have kids or kind of younger people in your crew, that Pixar movie is just such a fucking slam dunk. Oh, yeah. That is ideal holiday family movie fare because it's something the kids can enjoy, but it's also not shitty so the grownups can have a nice time too. But it's always a little bit of a challenge for us because we do not have any kids in the family. little bit of a challenge for us because we do not have any kids in the family. So we've got a variety of adults, me and my sister, my sister's husband, my mom, my stepdad, and some other kind of floating friends or family members. But it's all a bunch of adults trying to figure out a movie to go to, which is a little bit challenging because you don't want something that's too

intense, that's hard to watch with family members next to you uh i think maybe the movie that's out that i'm most excited to see is uh the aforementioned hateful eight but uh i am still scarred from sitting through pulp fiction with my parents in 1994 yeah uh yeah as you would you know might imagine there's a lot of talk about eating pussy in that movie sure there is a uh there is a very intense rape yeah yeah so i maybe as much as i admire the films of quentin tarantino will never ever bring my family near one uh again and from what i understand this movie uh is is as intense movie is as intense as his previous outings. So Hateful Eight was right out. Yeah, very smart.

I think a more recent one of that for me was Wall Street, the Wall Street movie that came out. Oh, Wolf of Wall Street? Yeah. Peggy had some strong opinions since my mom about that. She's like, well, I don't understand why it was a comedy. I wasn't laughing. I didn't. I wasn't laughing.

You saw Wolf of Wall Street with Peggy. With Peggy in the theaters. I wasn't laughing I didn't I wasn't laughing you saw you saw Wolf of Wall Street with Peggy in the theaters oh boy that I mean if I'm not mistaken

that movie starts with somebody doing coke out of a butt right out of that butt exactly so you don't even get a running start

you don't even get to warm up you just know that you're in for and it's like six hours long but my dad and brother are in finance.

So they think it's funny. I'm not having it. So yes, I empathize with you completely. You can't. You got to keep it like rated PG. Yeah, you really got to research that family movie before you go into it. Allegra, have you ever had to see an awkward movie with family in show? I'm trying to think.

I don't have as good of stories as those two. I feel like I've definitely sat through awkward things with my family, but a movie doesn't really spring to mind. Yeah, well, I mean, that's good. I mean, you probably are, you know, they think you're probably policing this in the right way. Or I've just gotten lucky, it could be. Yeah.

So I think, you know, there's certain things like that that are out. You know, I thought about it. I kind of wanted to see the Tina Fey, Amy Poehler sisters, which seems like it could be fun, but maybe a little bit of a sex romp. Could be dicey. I think so, too. Have either of you seen it? No, but it seems potentially sex rompy.

Yeah. Yeah. It seems like there could be some sex romp elements that might be tough for my delicate mom. So what we went with was Creed. And, you know, it seemed like a nice, you know, kind of a middle-of-the-road movie. You got some nostalgia there for Stepdad. And, you know, I think it's PG-13. So, you know, you're not going to get any, you know, coke done out of a butt.

Sure, sure. So Creed, goddamn slam dunk for a family Christmas movie. Oh, nice job. Next year, if anybody's looking for one, and for some reason Creed is still out. Gotta go. You gotta go. Or maybe rent it. Maybe rent it next year with your family.

This was really terrific and I, you know, in addition to being kind of a good, you know, movie to see with a variety of different people, I also thought a pretty great movie just on its own. I think I would have been happy if I would have just seen that solo. I keep hearing that's really good. Yeah. Yeah. Walk us through how big a fan of Rocky are you to start with?

Did you, was it you, were you set up for success? I have seen a few of the Rocky movies, not all of them. I remember enjoying every one that I've seen, but it's not a, it's not a franchise that I, that I follow. And I think that, um, uh, here's, here's my mom's review. Um, uh, of course the kind of Rocky character. Rocky is in this. He trains a younger fighter played by Michael B. Jordan.

And this is my mom's review coming out of it. And she's not an outrageous woman. She's a soft-spoken southern woman who is not prone to being outrageous. Coming out of the movie, she she's like that was fucking great well he had a very sculpted physique oh my so sweet michael b jordan if you're listening yes gail morris says you can get it oh that's the highest compliment yeah yeah gail and still very eloquent about it yeah she's a lady which is very matter of fact she knows and i will i mean she's not wrong no no no not at all yeah yeah um so yeah

uh mom loved it i liked it a lot i thought the kind of the coolest part of it is how they how they withhold that rocky music from you they don't and it reminded me a lot of the uh the rick springfield documentary that's currently on Netflix where they withhold Jessie's Girl from you until near the end of the movie. And when it fucking kicks in, it's like, what? Oh, yeah. So they unleash 10 bars of that Rocky music at exactly the right time, and you want to stand up and run around in the theater. It's incredible. It's so good.

And then there's always a kind of a catchphrase that you use. And I, have you seen it yet, Lex? I have not. Okay. How are you? Where do you stand with Rocky? I stand on the people who have kind of seen it. Maybe haven't seen it.

That's fair. Sure. Maybe saw it on TV and high school. Yeah, exactly. It's fine. Yeah. No, I mean, I'm not opposed to it. I just, I don't know if I've ever sat and watched a whole Rocky movie.

Sure. That's fair. And then Jordan, did you get a hold of Rocky Balboa, the one that came out in 2006? I did fine. Yeah. No, I mean, I'm not opposed to it. I just, I don't know if I've ever sat and watched a whole Rocky movie. Sure. That's fair. And then Jordan, did you get a hold of Rocky Balboa, the one that came out in 2006? I did not. No. I couldn't be a bigger Rocky fan. Yeah. So you, this is, this is your franchise.

And am I, am I wrong in remembering that you have dressed up to go to Rocky movies? I cosplays. What does one dress up as when one goes to a Rocky movie? As a Philadelphia dock worker? That's exactly it. That's exactly it. A lot of fish thrown around. We wore gray sweatpants.

We had custom-made hoodies that said Italian Stallion. Whoa! Big deal. Little black ski caps that we wore, and then we wrapped our hands. Don't act surprised you knew that that was part of it i didn't i just didn't know this whole thing about you right and then uh and it was on city walk at the time now i was around 24 when that one uh came out so we uh punched our way all the way down city walk made a big spectacle this is a big kind of

touristy outdoor mall area in burbank sure very good Very good. Yeah. So it made a huge spectacle of it and I think the distance between forgive me but I can't remember when Rocky 5 came out so I think the time between that movie coming out

and this movie came out made it a little bit more epic. So it's been like 10 years since the last one. So for this one maybe a little more Jaden got 10 years on me.

Sure. It still got me. Didn't dress up. It still got me. You didn't dress up. You didn't dress up. I didn't dress up. But the catchphrase from the Rocky Balboa is like, it doesn't matter how hard you hit, it matters how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.

Ooh, that's good. This one was one step, one punch. Yeah. One round at a time. Ooh. That's good. I mean, you can put that on a goddamn poster. You could.

I might have misquoted it. It may have just been one step, punch, round at a time. Either way, it was motivational and profound. I think the real quote, this is when, I know the real quote, Renee. It's when Rocky is training his young protege and he says, hey, punch that guy. Very profound. The point of boxing is to punch the other man and i think it's this big moment where the kid gets it you know and have you found that uh serves you in your everyday life when you

go to trader shows yeah punch that man really smart yeah really inspiring it's great it's great um i so you you liked it well i mean okay yeah i loved it. I loved it. I've also had this experience with, what was the space movie that came out with Sandra Bullock? Gravity. So same thing. Everybody's like, it's amazing, it's amazing, it's amazing. And I think Jordan and I actually went to go grab that together. So we went to see it in 3D in Man's Chinese. And tears were floating at me.

Sure. I was crying. This is in the movie. This is Sandra Bullock. These are not your tears is in the movie. This is Sandra Bullock. These are not your tears. Sure, right. These are Sandra Bullock's 3D CGI tears.

Yes. Precisely. So I maybe had an expectation that just could not have been met with that. Sure, sure. But I get that the general public is like, it's amazing

and it'll change your life. Same with Rocky. I think I put my bar a little too high. Okay, so you may be... Well, I'm probably not spoiling anything, but Rocky isn't feeling great in this one.

He does fine. Sure. He does fine. And so there's some training that happens in a hospital. Sure. While Rocky's getting chemo. Aww. Doing push-ups. Yeah.

I was like, oh, guys. Come on. I mean, there is a – and I would like to move on to the Star War in a second because that's another holiday movie thing that I think bears discussing. But I think like Star Wars, this Rocky movie is very well made but has a considerable amount of cheese. Sure. Hospital pushups. Sure. You know, hospital push-ups.

You know, when that music kicks in, it is very triumphant but also so on the nose that I think a more jaded filmgoer would roll their eyes. Sure, sure, sure, sure. But overall, amazing and fantastic. Yeah, and I think cheese is a little bit part of the franchise in general. So I think if it was without cheese, you would miss it. Yes, precisely. Go see it. So Allegra, I mean mean i would like to talk about star wars a little bit um uh but you are an interesting character in that you're a much uh

much like bb8 from the new star wars you're an interesting character you're not that cute nobody's like you're pretty cute thank you well thank you but no one's as cute as bb8 but thank you bb8 is very cute so you uh and we did a little show at UCB where this was kind of the topic. You, until very, very recently, like this year, this month maybe even, had never seen a single Star Wars movie. That is correct. I had never seen a Star Wars movie. And it was not like a conscious choice. It was just that for some reason my uh weird

parents never showed it to me and uh i never i wasn't trying to avoid it but i wasn't consciously seeking it out either and i never saw it until um i saw a new hope a week ago wow i know and i know it's interesting because it's not like i mean uh and and I say this in the – and I say this in a very, very affectionate way. But you are a – I would say a nerdy person with nerdy interests. Really? Yes. Is that wrong? Is that –

I'm actually flattered that you said that because I actually feel very excluded from nerd culture and I don't think that about myself. So it's very interesting. I'm not offended by that at all. I'm just – I'm surprised because I feel like someone who hasn't seen a lot of basic things yeah yeah and that nerds don't like that yeah i think nerds are nerds are shocked when you haven't seen their thing sometimes they're outraged and i think they don't like me i don't know so i'm interesting it's interesting to me that you said that okay um and so so you hadn't seen you hadn't seen star wars what was it like to you when all of this star wars shit started

coming out and it it felt like it was all people could talk about or at least everyone on the internet could talk about for months and months and months yeah well it was interesting it actually it made me want to get in on it actually actually, because people were so excited. And actually, last year on, I think it was on Black Friday last year, I write for Vice, and they, my editors there knew that I had never seen Star Wars. They sent me to see, because remember how the Star Wars trailer, like premiered before movies last year. Yeah, it was a big deal. I mean, I remember as a kid, and this was before a trailer was viewable on the internet, to see the trailer for The Phantom Menace, you had to go see the Wing Commander movie. Right.

This is a sci-fi romp based on a PC game starring, I believe it was Skeet Ulrich. Cool. So a lot of people, I did not, unfortunately. I kind of wish I had, but I think there were a lot of people who went to see the Wing Commander movie just to watch this Phantom Menace trailer. Oh, interesting. Yeah.

So similar thing. So they sent me to go see, well, I use the term see in quotes, Big Hero 6 because they just wanted me to stay for the trailer and then write a thing about it really fast so i uh went to the el capitan and bought a ticket for big hero six and then just stayed for the star wars trailer okay which they played twice uh oh nice but it was back to back yeah back to back yeah they did and people loved it and they're just the excitement was so palpable every time anything happened sure everyone was just like so excited that i was like it was very contagious even though i didn't you know you didn't know really know exactly what they were clapping for no exactly but i knew that they were excited and i was like

wait a minute hang on a minute people seem to really like star wars uh and i kind of wanted to get in on it and i kind of have felt that way uh recently because i didn't want to be the only person who hasn't seen star wars yeah but then i also uh you know i way recently because I didn't want to be the only person who hasn't seen Star Wars. Yeah. But then I also, you know, I didn't know how lost I would be if I saw it, saw the new one. I mean, it's definitely always a concern with, you know, long-running nerd shit. Right. Is how inclusive are they going to be for new viewers?

I think I talked a little bit about watching the last Harry Potter movie. Oh, right. On the show, I think I had to watch the last Harry Potter movie to write something about it. And I had not seen all of them. But I'm like, well, it's a fucking wizard. He goes to wizard school. What do you know?

He abracadabra. He blasts a bad guy. What more is there to this? And it's watching the last Harry Potter movie. It was like watching an art film. It was so incoherent to me. It was baffling. I didn't know who anyone was, what was happening, what the rules were, why things.

Yeah, it was a mishmash of magical nerd bullshit. Yeah, that sounds crazy. See, it's interesting. I would have thought the same thing as you and harry potter i think similarly to star wars has so um permeated pop culture sure that i was like well i'll probably get it yeah uh but i my uh my boyfriend sat me down and made me watch a new hope sure which is a very boyfriend thing to do sure good man he's i know well also i think he should feel he's the only guy who's successfully forced me to watch Star Wars. And believe me, many have tried.

And so we watched A New Hope. We actually watched it. We started it one night, and then we both fell asleep. It was very long. Yeah. And then we finished it the next day, and then we saw Star Wars that day. Okay. And what did you think of New Hope?

Did it feel familiar? Like, how did you feel like you had seen all the lines and all the scenes and, you know, various, you know, parodies and things over the years? Or did it seem like a fresh movie? I would say 50-50 because I definitely went like – I definitely knew what was coming and I recognized a lot of the phrases from pop culture. And I also went like, oh, that's where that's from. Oh, sure. I didn't know. That's what a Death Star is.

Oh. Yeah. And just like little like these are not the droids you're looking for. I was like, oh, I've heard that before. And it kind of contextualized things for me. People are not going to like this. I was a little oh, I've heard that before. And it kind of contextualized things for me. People are not going to like this. I was a little bit bored by it. I'm whispering it so no one hears me.

No, no, no. They won't hear it. It was a little long and boring. Sure. I mean, especially like, I mean, the action movie or the fantasy movie has just changed so much over the years. And I, exactly. And I hate to be like that kind of, you know, viewer who's like, well, why isn't everything happening in 15 minutes? Yeah. And I – exactly. And I hate to be like that kind of viewer who's like, well, why isn't everything happening in 15 minutes? Yeah.

But I think I assume because everyone saw it when they were kids and loved it that I was like, oh, this is a movie that kids love. Like, surely it won't bore me. Right. But it was kind of like – it was a long time of just being on these – They do just hang around a lot. Like they hang around on – I don't know. On barren wasteland planets or in conference rooms. Yeah, that's the thing.

Yeah, there was a lot of barren wasteland planets that I was not expecting and just kind of walking around the desert like, I don't know, should I do this? You guys, I don't know. It was more slow-moving. I definitely could appreciate what it was for the time and everything it did. It was more slow-moving than I expected, I would say. Yeah. I mean, and I think that is something that nerds have a hard time admitting about Star Wars is that they're – definitely the first one is a little dull. Oh, thank God. I'm so glad.

It is. There is a lot of cheese in that movie. Yeah, sure. Iconic characters, but if you just watch that movie, they're not the most robust characters. Yeah, yeah, sure. And, you know, by the time that, you know, people my age were looking into Star Wars, there was fucking 40 hours of Star Wars shit you could ingest. But that original movie is not the robust world that it would become. No, and that's what's interesting. I think I assumed it would be because I assumed that because it was such like a smash hit that everyone went like, oh, no one expects this movie to do that well. And then it just kind of killed everything.

I think I expected that it would all kind of be there and like be made in that movie. But that's not fair of me to expect. Yeah, yeah. And I think it is one of those things that, you know, right, that we look at as a total product. Exactly. But really what we are looking at is, you know, three movies and maybe some novels and comic books and video games and all this stuff exactly that we got before because we weren't born in the 70s right exactly exactly um renee were you with were you a star wars fan growing up did somebody sit you down and make you watch all of them did you have normal

parents yes did they were you a regular child who wasn't abused? Who wasn't pop-culturally abused by cruel parents? We're going to have to report it later. You know, I did see them, but it wasn't via my parents. I have a bit of a theory with this. What my folks sat me down and required me to watch was Top Gun. Sure. I think the Star Wars is the late 80s. Right, a classic.

And if you watch it now, not great. Not grateful. But I have such an affinity for it. I love it. And I think that's because, you know, little Renee saw that dad and grandpa loved it. So I did too. And my opinion of it has not changed. I still think Top Gun is excellent. So I think that maybe that's what you're missing out on. Yeah. That you don't have it when you were more impressionable. don't have somebody being like oh this is great yeah i think and that's what i was really afraid actually because then uh i was a little bored by it and it was late and i was tired and then uh the next day uh my boyfriend and i were eating and he was like so what did you think of a new hope and i went like and went like, it's a little boring, right? And I was like, oh, I'm so glad you talked about that.

Oh, God, thank you. I didn't want to be a jerk about it and be like, why was it so boring? Because he was so excited to show it to me, and so was everyone else in my life, and I was like, oh, man, no one's going to like me after this. They're going to like this even less than me not having seen Star Wars.

Yeah, I agree. I was like, I don't think I can ever, guys, I can never have that. I'm sorry. Yeah. I think that's fair. But I mean, it sounds like you're in a good place with it in that you recognize its shortcomings, but it seems like you get why it's a thing. I totally do. And also, I will say I saw the new Star Wars movie later that day, and I thought it was

great fun. Sure. And especially, I know a lot of hardcore Star Wars fans have gone in and thought, no one seems to be saying it's terrible, but people have gone like- I have seen that. You have? I have seen that very prominently. Yes. So I am, anyway, so continue.

Oh, no, it's okay. I was just going to say, like, I have heard some Star Wars fans say, like, oh, it was good, but I wish I had this or I wish I had that. And I just went in like, I don't know. And I loved it because it didn't have any real expectations to meet for me. And I thought it was super fun and it was great. And I saw it at the El Capitan, which is a really fun theater here in L.A. And, you know, it was packed. Yeah, El Capitan's a hoot.

They have an old guy play the organ while you're filing in. It's the best. It's so fun. He was playing Star Wars music on the organ. They have a little light show before that's always related to the movie. And so it was very fun. It was great. I had a great time.

And so it was easy for me because there were no stakes. I was like, that was a fun, great movie. I have follow-up questions about that light show. Was it a stage show of people using? Not quite. It was more like a laser. That's what I wanted. Because then they had those stage shows.

It was more like a plan. There were what I wanted. It was more like a plan. There were no people involved. It was just like lasers. I don't know. I'm sure there were people involved. You know what I mean. Sure. Someone told the lasers what to do. These aren't sentient lasers who make a show by themselves. Yeah, exactly.

Who just made a really great show. There were no people on stage fighting with lightsabers or anything. It was like a Star Wars themed. No, I mean, but there were no people on stage fighting with lightsabers or anything. But it was like a Star Wars-themed laser show, I would say. Where did you see it? I saw it. I saw it. Oh, where is this going to be?

At the Writers Guild. Oh, wow. Away from the Hoy Polo. Here we go. I don't like to see movies with the public. Oh, my God go. I don't like to see movies with the public. Oh, my God. They're loud. Oh, you know, weird side note.

On this trip to see Rocky, we saw it down in Orange County. And it was the first time in years I have had to deal with movie talkers. Yeah, I haven't in a while. And listen, I don't want people to think that I am making a racial comment because we were in Orange County. And I think you could probably guess if you know anything about the racial makeup of that movie theater was it was white. But Rocky seemed to be filled with or sorry, Creed seemed to be filled with just old men who were doing that old man talking. with just old men who were doing that old man talking. Do you know this kind of talking?

Where they would just, they're loud because the people in their lives are hard of hearing and maybe they're hard of hearing. Right. Sure. So you just periodically in the movie, and it was coming from all angles. There were probably three of these guys in the movie. People just going like, we'll call Bill later. So it's not movie related? Where did we park oh no it was never like look out get him i wish it was just get him get him punch that other man no i have i have a question where in orange county was this what city uh this is in huntington beach oh interesting okay because uh i

have known that my my uh my friend peter his grandparents lived down in, oh, what the hell is it called? Laguna Woods? Okay. In like a leisure world? Sure, yeah, yeah. And there was a movie theater near there where he would sometimes go to see movies with his grandparents. And it was like full of that. Because it was the movie theater that everyone at the old folks community like went, that's where they went.

Right. And so it was like just loud, that's where they went. Right. And so it was, like, just loud. Sure. I love it. Yeah. So, okay, it wasn't there, though. My coat's in the car. Yeah.

What are you saying? Why did you say that loudly, really loudly? I'll tell you what can spike my tolerance, though, is a bicker between two old people. Oh, yeah. I'm hungry. I'm like, well, you wouldn't let me order popcorn. Yeah, sure. It's too expensive.

My coat's in the car. What are you talking about? Now, did it get so extreme that you had to have a little look at him? A little, hey, fellas. I did look around and no one else seemed to be bugged. I mean, I think you're right, Allegra. I think that when you are near just a place that has a lot of older people or you're near a retirement community, that's just something that happens when you go to a particular movie theater. And I had not had to deal with that in a while and was shocked. That's interesting.

Also being from Orange County, maybe it's more of like a – I don't know. Are more older people going to the movies in like suburbia? Is this something? I don't know, are more older people going to the movies in like suburbia? Is this something? I don't know. I mean, I think that, you know, I think that the bias that we have, the coastal bias that we have is, you know, we get to go to a fancy premium theater like the Arclight or the Landmark. Or the Writers Guild. Or the Writers Guild.

Some of us. The Writers Guild. Whoa. And, you know, you're there with like, there with like hip, young urbanites who appreciate film. We're here because we appreciate film. We're movie people. Maybe we work in the business. So I think you do get – it is a politer atmosphere because it would seem infinitely more tacky to act up in one of those places where if

you're just at a matinee and it's elderly people and teens making out and like, eh, whatever. This is anarchy. It's the jungle. But I think, yeah, I think this is our bias is we get to see movies in nice theaters with film fans. Do you think it's possible that this is just what seeing a film with the common people is like?

I mean, if it is, I certainly don't want to do it again. I certainly do not want to go back to seeing a movie. Ahoy, poloy. So I started the Writers Guild. The Writers Guild is a cool place to see a movie if you're in the guild. Oh, my God. Are you in the guild? I am.

I'm a professional television writer. I'm a professional television writer. I'm a professional television writer. I never have to see movies with the public. Thank God. I mean, I feel bad for anyone who has to. It's hell on earth. Goddamn hell on earth. So the Writer's Guild is a fun place to see a movie because it just feels like dudes who wrote one episode of Full House can just go to free movies there for the rest of their life.

Oh, that's cool. But on this particular day, it was a couple days after Star Wars was coming out, and they were just showing it around the clock. They just started at 11 and were just showing it all day. And so there were – and the screening I went to was packed, just jam-packed. Everybody brought their kids. It was such a fun atmosphere. Fun. No cosplaying.

But there were a lot of like Star Wars shirts and people really whooping it up. Sure. And when the lights go down and the title card comes up a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Mighty cheer from the crowd. Mighty cheer from the crowd. And there's this woman who is sitting next to me who has come alone who just says under her breath, and I'm sure I was the only one who heard it, oh, come on, we're all adults. What are you doing, lady?

What are you doing here? Go to see Carol. Carol is out. You can see Carol. Yeah. Carol is out. You can see Carol. You can. Poor thing. Well, now. You can see Trumbo.

Go to Trumbo. Renee's empathetic toward this woman. This is Renee's natural inclination. I want to create a backstory for her. I feel like. Please. Now, again, same with you and assuming as much, but maybe I would suspect that the person who says that in a movie theater probably has several cats, maybe old cats.

Sure, yeah. And maybe they weren't that nice to her that day. Could, yeah. And she's- Could have had a cat dust up. Cats love her. Okay. Or maybe she did invite somebody, Jordan, and they didn't show up.

Aw. Maybe. You know what? You know what? She might have had a plus one. Yeah. Aw. Aw, now we're going to go back for her.

Or maybe she did show up cosplay, but you're not allowed to show up cosplay at the writer's guild. Oh, and someone took her Jawa cape. He took it away and she's in a bad mood. That would make me grumpy. Yeah. We have to be adults here. I can't wear my cosplay. I can't have my lightsaber because it's distracting.

Maybe, you know, maybe that's it. Maybe she was lashing out against the Gestapo Writers Guild theater that wouldn't let her have her stormtrooper armor and blaster on during the movie. Did you console her at all? Were you like, I don't know. There was part of me that wanted to, you know, there was part of me that was like, oh, really? Like, you know, come on. Yeah. part of me that was like, oh, really? Like, you know, come on.

Yeah. But also part of me that wanted to be like, hey, you know, part of me that wanted to like say like, hey, come on, this is fun, right? Isn't this fun? Yeah. What else? You know, what else? Where else are you going to see this kind of enthusiasm? Give her a little side tickle.

She'd love it. Oh, my God. Yeah. If I know this lady. Yeah, she'd probably like to be tickled by a stranger. She doesn't like clapping in a movie. She probably wants a stranger to tickle her. That's it.

She just didn't take it far enough. That's what she's mad about. Yeah. So that – and she did not mumble throughout the rest of the movie. And, you know, it was a really, really fun crowd. It was a really, really fun crowd. I mean, you know, every big character reveal they clapped for. And there's a spoiler alert.

Although, if you are listening to this podcast and haven't seen Star Wars, I am fucking shocked. I am fucking shocked. How did you do that? I have misjudged our demographic. So, you know, there's a moment where it looks like Kylo Ren is going to kill one of the main characters and then he's going to get the lightsaber and then Rey uses the Force to summon it out of the snow and that's a huge whoop from the audience and that was all great. This lady seemed to – she didn't keep mumbling through it and I don't know if she was swept up in it or just put it away. So did she react along with the audience? She did not. No, I mean she did not join in the applause, but wasn't – didn't seem to keep grumbling.

Okay. That's an improvement. Yeah. That's nice. But overall, you liked it, Jordan? I did. I liked it a lot. Yeah.

I mean definitely it's – it's the same as a new hope. It's the same goddamn plot. Okay. The Death Star is a little bigger than the other one. So I think you have that kind of – You could have been a little more creative with this somehow, but I get it. So I think that aside, it was just a real hoot. Great actors. Certainly not boring.

No, very fun. And actually it's funny because people seem to be like, to really like it and go like, but it was kind of the same as A New Hope, right? And I was like, I loved that because I got it. Oh, yeah, sure. I guess for the Star Wars noob, it's like, okay, I can follow this. Yeah, I was like, oh, great. I get it.

A robot has a thing people need? Yeah, exactly. Oh, great. Got it. Yeah. Perfect. I can follow that. Yeah, it was very easy for me.

I felt like I got most of the references, I think. So it was perfect for me. I was like, great. i'm sitting pretty yeah yeah i guess that is a great way to see it is just coming off that first one it's great yeah to see a more fun version of that that's how i felt well i was like when i saw it i was like see this is how i feel like a real like a millennial saying this i don't think i am one but uh uh i felt like that I thought that's kind of what A New Hope was going to be. I don't know. But then I was like, I think I'm a modern moviegoer.

I don't know, you guys. You need a little more whiz bang. I do. I hate to say it. No, it's okay. I also think expectations have so much – because Creed was amazing. Everybody agrees Creed was amazing, but because my expectations were sky high. I know.

There's a tough – That's true. It's a tough time to see movies in that you don't hear about a movie the week before it comes out. You hear about it a year before. Yeah, so true. And there's the teaser for the trailer and the trailer and the TV spot and the European TV spot and the Japanese TV spot. And, you know, it's just you feel like you're, you know, you're just you're you're being ramped up to this movie for a year before it comes out. And then when it finally does, it is hard not to feel a little bit like, is that just is that it?

So that was the thing we were talking about for a year. Yeah. So, yeah, there is that. And I think that is maybe a little bit more to do with, you know, the Internet's influence on how a movie gets marketed. For sure. Now, my my Star Wars was Pitch Perfect 2. Oh, yes. Oh, sure.

Which I saw with you. Yes, that's right. You wanted to watch the teaser. You wanted to watch the trailer. The Japanese trailer. What's the harmonies? Is she going to go high? Is she going to go low?

I don't know. Don't know. Don't spoil it for those who haven't seen it. Did she go high? Did she go low? I don't know. I can't tell you, Jordan. You've got to see it for yourself.

Oh, boy. Spoilers. But again, because Pitch Perfect, one, Pitch Perfect was so good. The second one, now again, I think alcohol also contributed to my opinion about it. But I wasn't super nuts about it. And I think maybe it's just impossible. It's impossible to meet those expectations. And sequels to comedies are a little tough, too.

Because you want to have different jokes, but you also want to have the same things people liked. So it is a balancing act between giving you the stuff that you liked but also enough new stuff where it feels like you're seeing a new movie. Now, are you guys super fans of any movie that is coming out that you just can't wait to see? Let's see. What am I really, really excited about? I mean I'm really excited for Hateful Eight. Sure. Even the crummy Tarantino movies I just love. He's of those guys where i was like i realize he's a cartoon of himself him and wes anderson

are you know like so great such such goofballs yeah such goddamn fussy little goofballs but their movies are always so much fun to watch oh yeah i think that yeah both those guys can just go ahead and become parodies of themselves and you, you know, I'll eat it up. So, yeah, even if this one is, you know, maybe not his masterpiece, I think I'll still really like it. So, yeah, I think that's my next one I'm really excited about. That sounds, yeah, the same. You guys, anything? I'm really excited for Hail Caesar, which is the new Coen Brothers movie.

Which I don't know when that's coming out, but I saw a trailer for it last night. Oh, February. It does seem like a movie that should be out now, doesn't it? That's what I thought it was going to be a Christmas situation. Me movie. Nice. Which I don't know when that's coming out, but I saw a trailer for it last night. Oh, February. It does seem like a movie that should be out now, doesn't it? That's what I thought it was going to be a Christmas situation. Yeah, but it looks really fun. I love the Coen Brothers. Me too, yeah. They so rarely make us tinker.

I know. Yeah, it's very true. They know what they're doing. Yeah. Renee, is there another acapella movie coming out? I think they are doing Pitch Perfect 3, so I can't wait. Are they really? But my big win this year was Creed.

Oh, sure. It was great. Okay. Okay. Well, guys, I think we've given a very thorough rundown as to what is in store for moviegoers this holiday season. Get out there and experience the magic of the silver screen. We'll be right back in just a minute on Jordan, Jesse, go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la We'll see you download podcasts. Pawpocket, every Wednesday from MaximumFun.org.

It's Jordan, Jesse, go. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, Start vaping for God's sake. Come on. What are you doing? Help us out. It's hateful to listen to. Just vape. Just vape already. Sorry. Become a chain vapor. Thanks. If the hateful eight becomes popular enough, do you think someone will open up the hateful vape? Oh, dear God, please. Yes.

I will start vaping for that. Just for that alone. Oh, I'd shop at the hateful vape. The hateful vape. It's not quite a rhyme. The hateful vape. The hateful vape. It's not quite a rhyme.

From time to time, and from time to time, I mean, every single episode of this program, we like to open up the phone lines and hear from our fans who have been kind enough to call us at 206-984-4FUN. Christian, filling in for Brian this week, has some calls booted up for us. Christian, let's hear the first one. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. My name is Paul from Oakland, California, and I'm calling with a momentous occasion. I just saw a gentleman being towed on a skateboard by his Australian shepherd while using a boat tow line like you would use if you were water skiing down one of Oakland's major streets.

down one of Oakland's major streets. Again, dogs, 12-pack, a Pabst Blue Ribbon, toe cable, and skateboard. Love the show, guys. Bye. Okay, so I have thoughts on this, but I think this is very apt because we have the two hosts of the Can I Pet Your Dog podcast here. What do you guys think about

dog-pulling man on skateboard in public? Well, Jordan, I think you're so outnumbered if you want us to say anything other than that. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's great. Yeah, we're 100%. Well, don't let me speak for you. Sure, yeah, yeah.

I'm opposed to it. No, this man is wicked. I will say what happened in the studio is as soon as Allegra and I heard it, we both made eye contact. We're like, oh my gosh, it's so cute. Yeah, I, okay, but let me think from the prospect of it. Yeah, I love it. Okay. I love it.

I see no downside to this. I don't have anything smart to say about it. That's for sure. I mean. I'm like, am I mad at Paps? I'm not mad at Paps. Wait, so where did the Paps come into it? I guess I didn't hear that.

Was he drinking beer while he was doing it? I think he was holding a six pack. Okay. Oh, okay. The guy being code. He's clearly on his way to some sort of party or chill or hang. Yes. I think it's fun.

I think it's fun for everyone involved. I think the guy's having fun. The dog, I bet, loves being involved and is running. Sure. It's great. Yeah. Dogs like to help. Yeah.

I think they do. They like having a task. They like running. Pull. Sure. It's great. Yeah. Dogs like to help. Yeah. I think they do. They like having a task. They like running. Pull you to your friend's house. Yeah. Now, as a reasonable dog lover, what's your take on that? Oh, no. I mean, I guess I just, I mean, I, I, listen, I think this sounds like a goddamn blast.

I feel like this man was probably having fun. I just think in general, in the world of our calls, we do get a lot of, I saw a local yokel. Oh. And I, you know, and we've had a lot of, this guy was getting pulled by this animal or this animal was riding that animal. Really? And I listen. I like it. If I saw it on the street, I would be amused.

But I do sometimes think that these guys, these types of people have a little bit of a look at me spirit that I, you know, it's like the guy who wears a, I don't know, a fucking kilt out in public or something. It's like, what are you doing? We see you. We see you. You're not invisible.

You matter. Sure. Yeah. Yes. From that perspective. So yeah. For your listeners, what is momentous occasion that is momentous without a we see you person involved? I mean, you know, I think just something that happened to you. You, you know, you tried a new sex act or, you know, something like that.

Sure. An old man said something funny. And, you know, and I'm glad we got to play this call because you guys were here. Yeah. Sure. But I want to challenge our listeners, you know, and obviously we love your input. We love hearing from you. But you don't need to hear about any more local yokels. Wow. Who are doing it, you know, because they hope someone makes an internet video of them.

Sure. And they get to go on the Today Show. As I, I'm on your side, but then I try to go through my day of like, what was momentous that happened to me today? And all it was is I thought there was an earthquake, but just a guy slammed the door too hard. I thought there was an earthquake today too. I had a moment. Yeah.

Oh, maybe there was. Was there an earthquake? In that case. Wait. I don't know. Did you feel an earthquake today? No. Okay.

I think that is definitely a part of living in california is phantom earthquakes for sure yeah but i think that'd be like a loud car was on the street yeah uh but if i were one of your callers and i was trying not to report a local yokel i'd have to be like guys i thought there was an earthquake but it wasn't it was just a guy sure i mean you don't have to call in every day you don't have to call in every day it's not a requirement to listen to the show we just just, you know, case by case basis. But, you know, thank you for your call. I'm glad we got to play it for you guys.

But fucking step it up out there. Wow. Yeah. Wow, you guys. The gauntlet is thrown down. Okay. Christian, let's play the next one. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and Go.

On this occasion, I was having sex last night, and for the first time in my life, my vagina managed to completely swallow the condom. It was gone. So I had to go on a fishing expedition deep within myself to get it out. But I got it out. So, phew, that was good. First time it had ever happened to me.

So that felt pretty momentous. Keep up the good work, guys. Bye. See, this is what I'm talking about. This is what I'm talking about. Lost condoms in vaginas. This is the kind of local yokel I can get behind. That's all we need. This is a drastic turn from the first one.

Very interesting. Now, this is probably going to get way too personal way too fast, but has that ever happened for you? You know, I got to say it hasn't. I feel very blessed that it's never happened to me, but it's my, well, it's not my number one favorite. That's not true. But I have heard a lot of people, that's happened to them. It's a little scary.

It's very scary. It has. It's happened. And I was immediately available to go to a compliment. I'm like, well, somebody's so tight that I just had to go right out. Not that maybe the condom didn't fit. I think you put on a pair of sunglasses. Exactly. Oh, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen. Just my exemplary tightness. Oh, so you took it as a compliment. Oh, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen. Just my exemplary tightness.

Oh, so you took it as a compliment. Oh, yeah. Interesting. Okay, straight away. It didn't even occur to me to be like, maybe there's some other things going on here. Sure. I guess the man could feel bad. He's like, oh, my penis is so small, the condom is loose on it.

I don't think I understand why this actually happens. I know that it does happen. I don't know what the reasons are. I think, I mean, I guess just maybe like improper condom going on. Sure. Maybe it is not affixed tightly enough. That's a condom. Are they affixed?

I guess. Yeah. I think maybe if you just have a little – if you have a little bunching or a little air pocket or something, it might slide off in a more – during a more vigorous moment. OK. That's fair. Yeah. Sure. I consider that momentous. Was it recovered? I didn't hear that part. It does. I think she, I think, yeah. After a deep

dive. That's good. So yeah, I don't want to infer anything about the depth of this woman's vagina. I said deep dive because it sounded colorful. Are you more on board with this one? Yeah. I mean, I think this is great.

I mean, I think this is a great momentous occasion. It's personal. You know, it happened to them. And yeah, I mean, it's obviously something people can kind of relate to. I mean, we all had a reaction to it. And, you know, I don't know. I think this was good. This is a step in the right direction.

Interesting. I'm learning a lot about momentous occasions. It's so much. But we've been doing it for a while. Yeah. So, you know, it's a fine wine at this point. Sure, sure. And could you heighten it anyhow?

Is there any one more element that you would have wished you would have applied? Yeah. I mean, you know, obviously I think that was a good length. Excuse me. But, yeah, I mean, you know, maybe some sample dialogue. Oh, my God. That's perfect. Yeah.

Maybe some sample dialogue. Oh, my God. That's perfect. Yeah. And I think that's something that we know as writers when you're pitching someone on a story. They don't always have time to read the full script. Sure. Or a full sketch or something like that. So they'll say, give us the concept and some sample dialogue.

He said, I'm so small. You're right. No, you'm so small. You're right. No, you're not small. I'm tight. This is great. This is great dialogue. Perfect. Pretty good.

So, yeah, I think, you know, that's just, you know, a small note for momentous occasion callers of the future. A little sample dialogue. Wow. I like it. I'm on board with you. I agree. So two solid ones. One was way better than the other one.

But one had a dog, so we're not bad at that. That's true. One did have a dog. So if you yourself have a momentous occasion that is not about a goofball in your town, give us a call at 206-984-4FUN. And we'll see you in just a sec on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. I'm Allegra Ringo, recently recovered from a coughing fit.

I'm Renee Colvert, condom swallower. Wow. Oh, my. Oh, dear God. When you were joining the circus. There you go. Right. Exactly.

Precisely. Step right up. See the. There you go. Right. Exactly. Yeah, you worked for the circus. Precisely. Step right up. See the famous condom swallower. Oh! It's not that hard, guys. So thank you guys so much for being here in Jesse's absence. I think we had a delightful program. A question I wanted to ask you guys, as dog experts, you, of course, are the hosts of the Can I Pet Your Dog podcast.

You can find that on iTunes or right here at MaximumFun.org. We're coming to the end of the holiday season. Have you discussed on the show, and if not, what is your position on putting Christmas sweaters and other costumes

on dogs? Oh, good question. And in general, dog costumes. I'd like to know what you guys think about it. Sure. Well, I think if the dog is miserable, let's maybe not do it to him that long.

Sure. I love a boot. I love a boot that makes him walk funny. That's so cute. It's my favorite. Yeah. Not for extended periods of time.

If it seems like you put a sweater on your dog, you go outside, the dog is like, hey, you know what? This is more comfy. This is better. I'm not as chilly now.

Then I like it. But otherwise, put it on? This is more comfy. This is better. I'm not as chilly now. Okay. Then I like it. But otherwise, put it on. Take a quick picture. Get it off. Okay. That's very humane. I mean, we all want a nice picture for the Grams or the Facebooks or what have you.

I agree with Renee. Generally speaking, put it on if the dog is comfortable with it. If they hate it, take it off. But I actually think more so than Halloween costumes costumes i think sweaters in the winter are like way more of a thing that can actually be really comfortable for the dog sure um my my mom bought my dog pistachio a little coat for christmas oh boy and uh she actually seems to like it so far because she has very short hair and i mean she gets cold when he goes out when we go outside so uh i'm i'm pro it's very cute and i think it keeps them warm. But obviously if they hate it,

like anything, if they hate it, stop. What's the style of this coat? Can you describe it? This coat, okay, this isn't quite a Christmas sweater, but it's so cute, you guys. I should have brought a picture.

It's like a little bomber jacket for dogs. It's ridiculous. Ugh, Renee has watery eyes. It's so cute. It's so cute. Yeah, I'll put a picture to you guys.

And what did Pistachio think? Is she a fan of it? She likes it. I think the key is that And what did Pistachio think? Is she a fan of it? She likes it. I think the key is that I've given her jackets before that she has to squeeze her legs through and she just hated it. So I don't do that. But this one just Velcros kind of under her neck and under her belly. So it's just like putting on a harness.

So it's much easier. So cute. It's great. Now, Jordan, what do you think about it? Oh, I like it. I always like seeing a dressed up animal on Facebook or something like that. I think it's a lot of fun. You know, you worry if they don't, you know, are they uncomfortable?

Do they think this is weird? As a cat owner, I think dressing up a cat would be a horrible ordeal. It sounds like a death wish. Yeah, yeah. Have you ever tried to put anything on your cat? Bug, bug, bug, bug. No, I mean, I think I talked about on the show trying to scare her with a cucumber. Oh, that thing.

Yeah, that didn't work. It didn't work. No, but I've never tried to dress her up. She's had a lot of different collars, some fancier than others. Oh, that's cute. True. And she doesn't mind having the collar on. That's fine.

But no, I've never tried a hat or a, you know, smock or whatever. I don't know. With cats, it seems like they would really hate that. Yeah, I think so. But if you can get a photo of one, boy, it's fun. Ooh.ock or whatever. I don't know. With cats, it seems like they would really hate that. Yeah, I think so. But if you can get a photo of one, boy, it's fun. Ooh, that's fun.

I bet. That's cute. I bet. Yeah, maybe little reindeer antlers next year. I don't know. Real cute. I don't know.

That might be fun. Your Guys' podcast is a delightful dive into the world of dogs, but it's also a very funny comedy chat podcast, and even if you're not a dog fanatic I think you'll find a lot to like about this program so

check it out maybe when you're done with this one that's my gift to you this holiday season listener we will be taking next week off to celebrate New Year's I know that undoes my whole spiel at the top of the show about caring about you guys.

We will be taking a proper week off next week to New Year's, New Year's Eve, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But back with a vengeance in 2016. I think our – if I'm not mistaken, our first guest of the year is going to be John Hodgman. So I think that will be a fun program. If not the first episode of the new year, very soon into the new year. Of course, we recorded our donor episode, JJ Go Gross Lake, this week. This is a fundraising stunt we pulled during the last Max Fund Drive where if people donated enough money, we would record a special episode of the show from a Craigslist boat in the middle of MacArthur Park Lake.

Of course, MacArthur Park Lake is a famous cesspool where a body was found last week. Oh, it was just last week? Yeah, it was last week. Oh, right there. Oh, my God. So, yeah. So, we took a Craigslist boat out and recorded a special donors-only episode. We took a Craigslist boat out and recorded a special donors-only episode.

If you are a donor to MaxFun, that will be in your donor feed shortly if it isn't already. And if you're not a donor and want to hear that episode and a lot of other great exclusive content, you can go over there to MaxFun.org and click on Donate and get all that cool stuff. So we will see you in 2016. Allegra and Renee, do you have anything you'd like to plug are there Twitter handles other than the podcast live dates special crafts that you're selling

I was hoping come on Jordan you know about my crafts or a chance to plug the crafts no I just have Twitter I'm at Renee Culver and then Lex what else do you have? I'm on Twitter at Allegra Ringo. I do not have any live shows to plug right now, but I'd love it if you checked out the podcast. We are also at CIPYD Podcast on Twitter.

And we have a fun group on Facebook you can join with lots of dog photos in there. It's super, super fun. Sounds like a blast. You don't even have to listen. Just send me pictures of your dog. That's all I want. Just send me pictures of those dogs. It's really cute. Lots of dogs in Christmas sweaters, guys. Thank you. That sounds like a blast. You don't even have to listen. Just send me pictures of your dog. That's all I want. Just send me pictures of those dogs. It's really cute.

Lots of dogs in Christmas sweaters, guys. Thank you. Sounds like a lot of fun. Of course, Brian Fernandez, the producer this week, Christian filling in for him on the boards. We will see you guys in 2016. Bye. Bye. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.