Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 413: Sexual Tent Flap with Sean McCarthy

Episode Date: February 1, 2016

Sean McCarthy from http://thecomicscomic.com joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of Jordan's foray into a new arena that is going to maximize his sexual power, Jesse's anger towards a new children's cartoon, and Jesse gets a Christmas present for Jordan and his cat.  

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Gotta admit, Jordan, I'm upset. Oh no. Oh no! Should we just call off the podcast?

You can go home and have a little nap? Get your juice? I don't know if... Get your num-nums? I think if we... Do you need num-nums? Do you have any num-nums? No, I mean, you're going to have to go home to get your num-nums.

Oh, man. I think I'm out of num-nums. I should have packed them. I got to go to Costco and get some more num-nums. What's the matter? That'll soothe me. Yeah. Well, my son was watching his favorite television show, The Octonauts.

What happens in this show? A team of bear men and one... Not octopi? No, sir. I do not understand what that has to do with octopuses. But a team of bear men and also

one pink squid guy. Okay. But mostly bear men live underwater. He's closer to an octopus. I mean, he's a cephalopod. That's true. So that's the same genus.

That's true. They live- Phylum? Don't correct me. They live in a octopod under the sea. Okay. That may be why they're called octopods. I guess I don't know what an octopod is.

Come on, Jordan. A pod with eight. You seriously not know what an octopod is? No. It's a place where bear men live under the sea. Oh, geez, man. What have I? The bear men have different accents representing different parts of the British Commonwealth.

Okay. So there's a Cockney one and a Liverpuevlian. Yeah, Liverpuevlian. Yeah. That's actually the liberal arts college that I went to. Oh. Liverpuevlian. So they live underwater and they have experiences with creatures.

Mm-hmm. Then they make creature reports. Okay. I want to go back to the Octodrome. Octodome? Octopod. Octopod. Does it have – is it segmented in eight? Where does the octo come in?

I guess that's where my hangup is. It looks sort of like a tree, like a big tree. Okay. And there's a lot of things on like ropes, like elevators. Okay. And it's got pods, probably four pods. Well, that's divisible by eight, so I guess this is making sense. If it was a prime number, would you be upset?

Yes. Yeah, I can understand that. I would need some num-nums. I know that. I would need some num-nums. I know. Then I would need some num-nums. So anyway, I'm just in the other room while he's watching, and I just hear one of the guys go, Quasi, that's not a cave you're in. That's a whale shark.

How the fuck did they even become octonauts if they can't tell the difference between a whale shark and a cave? Well, I mean, have you seen the mouths on those things? They're cave-like. They are somewhat cavernous. I mean, I had an underwater book as a kid, and I can vividly remember the illustration of the whale shark. Did it have a cavernous mouth? That shit's mouth looks like a cave. Really?

Now, granted, I'm not, you know, I'm not an octonaut. I don't work in the... People, presumably they've received special training. Well, was this a new guy? I don't know. Was there ample lighting in the trench where they were? I'm sure it was in the bottom of the sea. I mean...

They have lights on their fish submarine? Well, listen, I don't have all the facts. Okay? So I don't think I'm prepared to make a judgment. All I can say is that if there is one creature in the world whose mouth looks like a cave, it's the whale shark. It looks like a cave so that krill go in there. What?

Do krill love caves? I don't know i mean i think you know i think they like it more than being in open water they think it's safer do whale sharks eat krill yeah do they have baleen i don't think they have baleen although they probably do brian we're gonna i'm gonna need you to get on this brian can you prepare a creature report yeah thank you prepare a creature report? Yeah. Thank you. Call a pink squid to help you if you need. But yeah, so, you know, I, listen. What kind of fucking asshole becomes an octonaut and doesn't even know the difference between a mouth and a cave? Even a cave-like mouth.

Granted, a cavernous mouth, Jordan. Well, I mean, I don't know. And I don't know. I mean, i'm i'm devil's advocate here i'm on the side of the jordan bear that you don't like you get on the side of my fucking numbs all right here just hear me out now if we just look at this not as you know not as not as a naut let me put your comments in context here number one admits no expertise on the subject number two admits has no num nums sure that's the context for your thoughts on this matter i just think that we uh you know i don't think we need to be reactionaries i think we need to look at both sides of the story because people look to us for fair and balanced coverage.

We need a political revolution in the Octonauts community. Let me just, okay, if we look at this. Quasi is out and Bernie is in. If we look at this not from, you know, a nautical standpoint. What the fuck kind of standpoint? Well, a storytelling standpoint, Jesse. They're octonauts. They live under the sea. Now listen. What is a non-nautical context

for a family of bear men that live under the sea? Let me just... I have a theory here. Let me put it out there. You can tell me if you think it's plausible or not, because I think it is. If this is... I don't know where this falls in the story arc of Octonauts. If this was the pilot episode, a lot of times in a pilot episode of a TV show, you have a pre-established and especially workplace TV shows, which I think this counts as.

Yeah. So it's a classic like mary tyler moore sure you have a new person coming into this pre-established workforce where there are you know pre-existing relationships but you have this new person who needs to be shown around so the viewer also gets to learn about the old wkrp works for instance so if this was the pilot episode or the start of some sort of new arc, maybe this character who got caught in the whale mouth was some sort of, I don't know, some sort of neophyte. And he was there to learn about or maybe he was an aspiring Octonaut. So he's going to get into some trouble. For instance, mistaking a whale shark mouth for a cave. And again, the context on this here is, number one, you don't know shit about the Octonauts.

That's the first piece of context. This is my first time I'm learning about them. Number one, again, I'm just setting the stage here. I'm just framing the issue so the audience doesn't lose track of what's going on. Number one piece of context You don't know shit Number two You don't have a goddamn num num Not even one

I forgot your diaper bag So they're in there Our guest on this week's program He's the editor of the blog The Comics Comic He's the host of the podcast of the same name, Sean McCarthy. How are you,

sir? I'm good. Thank you for having me, Jesse. Do you know anything about these octonauts? No, I'm literally a fish out of water in this conversation. How appropriate.

Yeah. How appropriate are there? Uh, uh, do octonauts, do they have a line of toys and dolls that go with them? Oh, dear God, do they ever. I bet.

Oh, Jesus Christ. The only question, really, you know how in the Civil War, brother fought brother? In my home, Octonaut fights Paw Patrol. These are the two great forces. The Paw Patrol are a family of dogs with superpowers. I think we've talked about the Paw Patrol before. Yeah, sure. They're dogs with backpacks with special abilities, like a helicopter backpack or whatever.

Sure. Or a recycling arm backpack. The Octonauts, as I said, are a family of bear men that live under the sea. With a squid. With a squid guy, and they look for creatures. At least the Paw Patrol are American. God bless the USA. Yeah, geez, right?

The Octonauts are from God knows where, New Zealand or something. Oh, man, I'm sick of all these foreign cartoon characters coming over and taking our jobs. or something. Oh man, I'm sick of all these foreign cartoon characters coming over and taking our jobs. Exactly. Brian, did we get confirmation on whether whale sharks eat krill and if they have baleen or not? They don't have baleen, but they are filter feeders.

They don't have baleen, but they are filter feeders. Here's the... Okay. Here's the fucking follow-up question. If they don't have baleen, how do they filter the krill out of the water? I don't know. I'm guessing some sort of like – I'm envisioning a bone grate.

Really? Yeah. I guess I'm picturing – Filter pads. Filter pads. I was going to say screen door. Yeah, sure. That's the filter pad of the sea.

Yeah. That's only – When I bought my screen door, I bought it from a door-to-door screen door salesman. Mm-hmm. And the thing that really closed the deal for me is, well, the good news is it keeps bugs out. Mm-hmm. Keeps krill in. Man, you got to be careful of those door-to-door screen door salesmen.

They will fuck your wife. Did this happen to you? Well, I mean, I had a lot of trouble with the fuller brush man. Oh, geez, Luis. He really gave it to the missus. He really got it up in there. So the next time a salesman came to the door, this one was selling a door. Right.

I made sure to keep an eye on her. I mean, I said I was going to be in my garage working on my hot rod. Right, sure. But I was really keeping an eye on him. Sure. And he started to whip it out and i said uh i said you may go when you say whip it out are you talking about his uh i mean it could have just been a contract for a screen door okay like an order form or a delivery slip or what action

did you take at the time because i know the reason i mentioned is i know you keep your shotgun over in the garage yeah well i mean that mean, that's like a replica shotgun. Okay. That's not for, it doesn't actually fire. It's just meant to look like the one from Evil Dead. Oh. So that's a collectible more than it is a weapon. Were you in your garage or in your man cave? I mean, it's both.

Okay. Yeah. That's where I go to unwind. Well, thank God we've sorted all of that out. How are you, Sean? I'm good. Jesse, I had no idea you had all this anger seething under the surface. I seem like a nice guy, but the truth is I'm a cauldron bubbling with rage. You are very cauldron to me.

Yeah, I am. I'm a cordial man. I got Sean a drink. Iced tea. I didn't even bring up this Oct got Sean a drink. Iced tea. I didn't even bring up this Octonauts bullshit. I had no idea. It would be weird if you did.

No, Sean loves Octonauts. And garlic knots. All knots. Oh, yeah. Garlic knots are good. Celtic knots. He's got that Celtic knot tattoo. Sure.

Top knots. Sure. Don knots. Don knots. He's my favorite knot. Has anyone photoshopped a top knot onto Don knots? Sure. Don knots. Don knots. He's my favorite knot. Has anyone photoshopped a top knot onto Don knots? If they have knots, the internet is not doing its job. God damn it. What am I paying you for, internet, if nobody's photoshopped a top knot onto Don knots?

You're paying for the pornography, sir. Oh, yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah, Netflix. Yeah, pornography and Netflix. Yeah, both of pornography, sir. Oh, yeah. That's pretty good. And Netflix. Yeah, pornography and Netflix. Yeah, both of those are great. Yeah, yeah. Well, we'll be back in just a second with more on Jordan and Jessica.

I'm Bits. And I'm Teresa. And we host the podcast One Bad Mother, a comedy podcast about parenting. Parenthood. It turns out it is very difficult, but we all get up every day and do it again. It's like the sign says, if you're going through hell, keep going. So join us each week as we strive for less judging and more laughing. Find us on iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts when your children aren't around. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you Love you, love you, love you Love you, love you, love you

Love you, love you, love you It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. I'm Sean McCarthy, the internet's internet. He is. Can you get them on this top knot thing? Straight away. Okay, thank you. A nun. Thank you. can you get them on this top knot thing straight away Sean you've been on a

whirlwind comedy tour of our great nation your blog the comics comic is about comedy stand up comedy from an inside perspective long running blog what are you looking at 10 years 9 years at this point I started in 2007 before that I was a newspaper

reporter which is for those of you listening at home that's what your parents years uh nine years at this point i started in 2007 before that i was a newspaper reporter which is uh for those of you listening at home that's what your parents subscribed to and brought to your doorstep when you were a young child so it's how you tell your parents figure out what time movies start yes so you made the classic 2007 transition from a newspaper reporter to a blogger yes and now uh you're on well on your way to becoming a Snapchatter, whatever that is. I'm still learning, still learning. Yeah, I mean, that's a new frontier, I think. WhatsApp?

Yeah, that's the one. Yeah. That's the one. Where has your whirlwind tour taken you? Where have you been so far? Well, this week I was in San Francisco. I was at the end of San Francisco Sketch Fest. Lovely. And then I thought, well, I'm in California, a long way from my non-native

New York City. So why not pop on down here to Los Angeles, catch Riot LA. Sure. And see what's going on in Los Angeles, in the greater Southland. Classic festival to festival situation. Yes. What did you see? What was the best thing you saw at SF Sketch Fest, Sean? Ooh, I think that would have to be Iron Comic. Oh, with Nato Green. Nato Green and Moshe Kasher. The great Moshe Kasher. Host and produced that show.

I have not heard of it. What goes on on this show? It takes the elements of Iron Chef, which was a show that used to be popular on the Food Network, The Elements of Iron Chef, which was a show that used to be popular on the Food Network, where in that show the chefs are given a mystery ingredient and then have to prepare something for the guest judge chefs. Oh, and then a samurai yells at them. Yeah. Yes. I've seen this.

I think on the Food Network, Star Trek captain yelled at them. Oh, it's William Shatner, right? Did William Shatner yell at them? Hard to say. The main Iron Chef that I remember is the one, I remember in high school, my friend John King was obsessed with watching it on like the Asian channel. You know the Asian channel that shows different Asian stuff? Sure. I don't know why he was watching it. He himself was not Asian and spoke only English as far as I know. Maybe he was into those Korean soap operas, those historical soap operas. You know, I have been to a Korean spa.

And when you're laying in one of the mineral rooms, the jade room, the salt room, there are Korean soap operas playing on the TVs. And they're mesmerizing. There's a lot of graphics. There's a lot of slow push-ins to faces. I can understand how they, even if you didn't speak Korean, they would be captivating in a way. Yeah. Agreed. Yeah.

Did you know I was in a Salvadorian restaurant yesterday eating some pupusas, as I'm wont to do. They're still shooting Univision telenovelas just outdoors with a camcorder and available light. Sure. Like the camcorders are nicer so everything looks crisper. Right. But like literally just someone will be standing there delivering a line with like a shadow across their face. That's all. It's realism.

Sean. You don't get that on the Eva Longoria NBC version. Thank you. Too much sheen. Too much gloss. Yeah. Too much Hollywood. Yeah.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. I am so sick of Eva Longoria's bullshit. Yeah. Yes. You're saying. Sean.

And her insistence on being shot with a professional camera. Exactly. Iron comic. Yes. Iron Comic. Yes. Starring the fast-talking sass machine, Moshe Kasher, and America's favorite communist, Nato Green. What happens in the show? So for Iron Comic, they collect, before the show,

they have little slips of paper where audience members say one or two words of something they would like to see the comedians do. So you'd think it might be like an improv show. Oh, give me a suggestion, I'll create a scene. Instead, what happens is Nato and Moshe go through the suggestions and talk smack about the ones they don't like.

Finally find one that they... Wait a minute, Moshe Kasher talking smack? Yes. I don't know. It just doesn't add up. Picture it. Close your eyes. Think Moshe Kasher. Add snark. Yeah. Got it. Got it? Alright. So they find a topic

they like. They send the comedians away for eight minutes to write two minutes of material about chosen topic. In those eight minutes, write two minutes of material about a chosen topic. In those eight minutes, Moshe Arnauto delivers his stand-up routine. They come back. Each of the five contestants delivers their two minutes. Then they decide, oh, who wins this round?

They do that for a couple of rounds, and then they winnow it down from five comedians to two, and then those two comedians have a speed buzz around. Who won? Dana Gould. Yeah. I mean, if you're in that contest, if you're in any having funny ideas in your head contest with Dana Gould, you might as well quit before you start. What's the point? Jesus Christ.

Dana Gould has more funny things inside of his head. What are these? No, you seeing these shows going on this tour, is this for a larger piece that you're writing? Is this for podcasting purposes? Or is this just for fun? Oh, that it were. A lot of it's just to press the flesh and let people know that I'm not just an internet

avatar. I mean, I thought you were. I'm a real person. Until now. Right. I thought you were a little... I thought you were one of those news robots. I thought you were my little pony, but one of the new ones. There was a period in my career where I was being referred to by people in show business as the Nicky Fink of comedy. And so I had to let people know. I get out of my apartment.

I have recent photographs of myself. Is Nicky Fink a famous shut-in? Yes. I didn't know that. Told you. Infamous. I told you. I'm sorry.

It's her catchphrase. With a't know that. Told you. Infamous. I told you. I'm sorry. It's her catchphrase. With a J. Yeah. In all caps. So, okay. So you don't read Deadline.com? I mean, I'll go to it every now and then. He just goes to read the comments.

Yeah, exactly. I love those Deadline comments. That really is. For anyone who doesn't work in show business first of all kill yourself yeah get out

step one yeah just slit your throat right get a hey come at least make a web series

come on at the very least make a web series it's 2016 who doesn't have a web series you gotta quit your day job quit the day job make a web series

then then drive anywhere okay well I guess first of all pause this podcast yes right series. You gotta quit your day job. Quit the day job, make a web series, and then... Okay, well, I guess first of all, pause this podcast. Yes. After I finish this thought. Quit your job. What if they paused it already? What if they paused it in the pause in between when you said

pause this podcast and after I finish this thought? Foo boy. I mean, their lives are gonna be fucked. They're probably a fucking asshole. We can talk shit about them because they're not listening. Yeah. Yeah, that guy looked better a couple years ago, but now he sure looks worse. Rough.

Wait. I don't know if you know how podcasts work, but then when they hit pause again, they'll hear all of what you just said now. Oh, shit. I'm sorry, guys. Shit. I didn't mean, I'm just in a weird place. Don't.

I lashed out. My remarks were taken out of context. I use cocaine. Sure. To stimulate. Oh, yeah. So, yeah. So, Deadline is like, you know, it's like, it's where you go for showbiz news now that

no one, you know, has a hard copy of Variety anymore. But what's amazing is that it has this comment section where people – I mean I'll only click – like basically the context in which I see it is someone that I follow on Twitter posts a link that they got a pilot or something. Sure. Right. It's industry trade news. Exactly. So I click through. I'm like happy for Kumail Nanjiani.

It's mostly Kumail Nanjiani. If you're not like a guy – Congratulations to Kumail on your new pilot. On all of your roles. If you're not like a person who works in development, yeah, I think that's the most – that's where most of us interact with Deadline is someone we follow on Twitter posting about something that went well for either them or a close friend. So then the comment section is like a newspaper comment section. Like it has all the weird vitriol. And it's like reading.

Like sometimes I'll look at the comment section of a newspaper article in the San Francisco newspaper about the 49ers. And it's just different things about why Colin Kaepernick is lazy because he's black or whatever. Sure. It's that but with an added element of like knowing some show business words. Sure. So it's like you can tell it's like somebody that's sitting in a mail room at William Morris, but also has all the other qualities of a horrible person who writes comments on the Internet. What I love about those comments, too, is that you can tell half of them have an agenda. Yeah.

They have a rooting interest in the people who have the show. Right. Or against those people. Yeah, it's either right. It's either it's either. Right. Exactly. No one is just coming because they're curious about.

Or they're a fan. You know, America Ferreira's new show. No, they have a financial. A weird thing that I've noticed in that a couple of times is people insisting a movie was not successful when it was. That's like, oh, I can't believe this. I'm like, well, I don't know. It seems like that made a lot of money. I don't know.

Well, how do you define success? You know, that's a great point. That's a really good point, Sean. That's a great point. That's a really good point. I mean, it's purely a monetary thing for me. Yeah. I am artistically bankrupt and don't care about creativity.

For me personally, it's sexual. Like if a project that I do isn't necessarily financially remunerative, if it leads to like new opportunities, new avenues, so to speak. So you don't have to have sex during the podcast if the podcast itself opens up a sexual door later. Right. Sure. And that's still successful. And I think this is a great segue into me announcing that I'm going to quit everything else I've been doing. Okay.

This included. It's my last show. Really? And I'm just going to put all of my effort into being a pilot in the drone Olympics. Okay. Wow. Because, I mean, I think as far as... So you're quitting your job on At Midnight?

Mm-hmm. And you're quitting Jordan, Jesse, go? Yep. And you're quitting the occasional stage performances and stuff that you do? Yep. Will you be auditioning for acting roles? No. Will you be submittinging for acting roles? No. Will you be submitting writing packets to other shows?

No. So I will be- Pitching? Will you be pitching shows? No, gosh, no. Pitching movies? No, no, no. This is all wasted time. Will you be watching movies? No, absolutely not.

Watching Netflix? This is all, yeah, wasted time. Netflix and chill? I'm letting all of my streaming subscriptions lapse. Uh-huh. All of my streaming subscriptions lapse. And I'm just going to full time really just pound the pavement becoming a pilot in the competitive drone Olympics. Can we pause this podcast so I can either write something up about this or notify Deadline?

Yeah, would you please? Just let them know that, you know, beloved comic figure Jordan Morris is, you know, saying goodbye to the biz. You do have a bit of a comic figure. Thank you saying goodbye to the biz. You do have a bit of a comic figure. Thank you. Yeah. Comic sans. If you ask me, real women have curves. Sure.

And real men look like a wing ding. Yeah. But I think if you're looking to- Funtabulous. Funtabulous. And I have been looking to maximize the sexual doors that I've... Right. You know, to open. There's no doubt about that.

Why do you think you went to Burning Man? Sure. It wasn't to close sexual doors. They don't even have doors in Burning Man. It's more of a sexual tent flap, really. It's just a flap on a fuck yurt fuck yurt

yeah where's the flap on that fuck yurt yeah you're letting the yeah it was like were you raised in a fuck barn

Martha so I was thinking Brian's enjoying this one too I wanna Martha. So I was thinking. Brian's enjoying this one too. I want to. Either that or he got like an almond stuck in his throat. Man. He's trying to get our attention.

Let me know if he turns blue. Yeah. Yeah, let's let him die. So I was thinking I want to really maximize the amount of sexual opportunities that I have. And I was thinking about a lot of different things because, you know, comedy and podcasting, kind of a dead end. Right. You know, I was thinking of like, you know, like Grand Theft Auto mods. Right. Like really working hard to recreate a backstreet boys video with grand

theft auto characters because you know let's face it the only streets back and back streets back all right okay and i think that women look at those and they're like i need to find the man who made this elaborate grand theft auto mod where it looks like the characters are doing the dance from yeah that's true boys so that was a good you know, but I'm like, I can go higher than this. Right. Literally physically higher? Everything. Higher penis, higher on drugs, having sex at higher elevations, mountains, skyscrapers, things like this.

I follow. And then, you know, that kind of led me to, like, creating really, really hard levels in Mario Maker. Right. And also beating really, really hard levels, like doing videos of me speedrunning them. So would you speedrun the ones that you had created, or would you... Well, I would leave that to other... Create them for others and speedrun others. To other fuck machines on Twitch.

Got it. To the pussy-drenched Twitch community. Right. Who is doing Mario speedruns. Yeah, well, when they're not busy. Yeah. Crushing, yes. But, I mean, that seemed like, yes, that would be amazing.

That would be a deluge. But. A torrential deluge. A torrential, yes. A Hurricane Jonas. Blizzard Jonas? What's happening now? Super Storm Jonas.

Super Storm Jonas. Yes. So, but that kind of got me thinking like, that's yesterday's news. What's tomorrow? Right. Twitch is old news. There's no doubt about that. Drone Olympics, where men

build custom drones, outfit them with sexy men, outfit the drones with neon lights, and fly them through a stadium to dubstep music. And I think this is probably

going to help me reach my sexual zenith. Yes, you have a question. No, more of an epiphany. The floor recognizes Sean McCarthy's epiphany. Jordan, you saw this in your dealings with Ad Midnight. I saw a video of Drone Olympics. Yes, the first time I saw the drone.

I saw it this week. That's what convinced me to quit my job. I saw a promotional video for the Drone Olympics. Yes, the first time I saw the drone. I saw it this week. That's what convinced me to quit my job. I saw a promotional video for the Drone Olympics. Yes. And there was neon colors. It looked like rollerball without the balls. Yeah. Is that a concern at all at midnight?

I mean, there's tons of talented writers on that show. And, of course, our friend Chris Hardwick hosts the show. So I imagine that the group of you, like a big concern for producers of the program would be what if they find a subreddit that could lead them to a torrential deluge. Sure. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, I guess I've always just kind of been a high achiever in that way. Right.

And it takes a lot. I mean, it's a leap to get into show business. That's true. You have to commit to it. You have to say. You have to work hard. I'm going to give it my all. I mean, you were a PA on Ellen.

Sure. And I've never been one to half-ass anything. Right. And I think a lot of people will probably dream of becoming a competitive drone pilot. Maybe they'll do some competitive drone piloting like on a weekend. Maybe they'll take a class, but they won't really go for it. I'm going to go for it. Do you think, and I want you to remember, you're no longer the co-host of this show.

Yeah. This is my last episode you can really speak freely here um do you feel like i mean i'm giving you permission sure i mean and don't don't feel like you have to sugarcoat whatever it is you're about to say. I mean, I think now, you know, if not now, when can we be totally honest with each other? Do you think that I was the one holding back the deluge of pussy? Like I was the one with my fingers in the sea wall. Sure. The retaining wall.

Yes. Yeah. I mean, you weren't helping. So, you know, I think I just need to like, and it's not about you specifically. It's also Brian. It's also, Brian's a big part of it. Brian. Yes.

You know, Chris Fairbanks, Nick Adams, all our regular guests. Right. But I think it's just about. Karen Colgariff. Karen Colgariff. Oh, boy. Yeah. You know, Chris Fairbanks, Nick Adams, all our regular guests. But I think it's just about... Karen Colgariff. Karen Colgariff, oh boy. But yeah, I think it's just about getting to a place now where there's just no distractions. Right.

And I can just think about drone piloting, how to put better lights on it, the dubstep music I can play while I'm flying it. Yeah. And just how I can be the best goddamn competitive drone pilot I can be. Are you going to do speed runs or do you do tricks for points? Well, I mean, you've seen this video. Yes. I guess maybe I can just kind of open it up to you guys. Do you think it's more impressive if I just go for drone speed or should I do like you know, like freestyle, you know, style-based?

I recommend moguls. People love tricks. Sure. Yeah, that's true. That's a really good point. Okay. I think, yeah, I'll probably be competing in freestyle then. I'll start out then and just, but I'll see where, you know, my aptitudes are.

Do you have a signature move in mind? Yeah. I mean, something where I crash the drone into the audience. Killing them. Yeah, wow, killing them. Yes, not the whole audience, but just some people in the audience. You want to leave some people to spread the word. Sure.

And some people to fuck. Sure. You don't want to close that door. Yeah. Wow, Jordan, that is really amazing. Can I ask you this? Please. I mean, I'd be willing to continue doing this show with Sean.

Sean's an experienced podcaster. Sure. He's a former newspaper reporter. Yeah. He's got a lot. He's got that. I have a resume. He brings a lot of skills to the table here.

Yeah, I mean, I think so. He's delighted to be wearing shorts in January. That's why I'm wearing shorts in january that's why i'm wearing them um delight but would you mind sticking around for another couple segments we'll wrap this show oh so i can kind of just train him yeah like an on-the-job training yeah i think it's the least i can do okay and you know it's we are recording this on a on a saturday and the drone store isn't open. They take weekends off. So you haven't bought a drone yet?

No. I don't even really know what they are. Really? If I asked you to describe a drone right now. Couldn't do it. I know that you know. Might be a food. I know that you know about the lights and the dubstep.

Yeah. Have you seen a drone, or was this just described to you? It wasn't memorable to me. I saw it. I mean, as Sean mentioned, I saw this video. Right. Going around. Right.

Hyping people for the drone Olympics. I don't know where they could find this video. YouTube probably. But you didn't take note of it? I was just kind of caught up in the vibe and how sexually attractive this probably would be to women. Okay. So you were kind would be to women. Okay. So you were kind of one step ahead. Yeah.

I was just kind of thinking like big picture. Right. You know. What was the big picture of? Achieving my sexual peak. Okay. Got it. Well.

It's in watercolors. Well, I mean, given that the drone store isn't open right now, you're saying you'll be? Is it watercolor? Yeah. It's really beautiful. Who painted it? Thomas Kinkade? Yes. The fader of light.

It's me fucking a lighthouse. Well, it's a lighthouse fucking me if we're calling a spade a spade. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Let's be honest. We live in a world with too much media. You need a podcast on the front lines figuring out what's great. We're here for you.

We're Pop Rocket. I am Guy Branum. I'm a comedian. I'm Wynter Mitchell. I call myself a digital strategist. I'm Oliver Wang, academic and disc junkie.

Margaret Wappler, je suis as journaliste. And we watch, listen to, and read everything so that you don't have to. And then we tell you about all the things

that you'll love to love. Find us in iTunes or wherever you download podcasts. Pop Rocket, every Wednesday from MaximumFun.org It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, the voice of the millennial

generation. Jordan Morris, point detective. I'm Sean McCarthy, the podcaster's podcaster. Okay, Jordan, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, the voice of the millennial generation. Jordan Morris, point detective. I'm Sean McCarthy, the podcaster's podcaster. Okay, Jordan. Yes. I've got great news for you, and it couldn't come at a better time with you leaving the show. I'm glad that it came in the mail. So Jordan and I celebrate, just for your edification, Sean, a holiday called Christmas. Ooh, I've heard of it.

Good things. It's usually late December, around the 25th. And it's a gift exchange holiday. It celebrates the birth of the baby Jesus. And then the wise men and so on and so forth. The sheep, the different creatures, Joseph, the hay, a star, myrrh. All that. Everything that makes the season great.

Yeah. Hay and myrrh. Now, Jordan was nice enough to get me a gift certificate to Secret Headquarters, a great comic book store here in Los Angeles. I'm looking forward to going over there, being treated like a celebrity. Sure. over there being treated like a celebrity because they do listen to Jordan Jesse go there and being handed whatever the latest very classy graphic novel is. I'll just go in there and say

what is the classiest what's the classiest graphic novel you can give me and they'll set me up. Downton Abbey season 7. They're continuing in graphic novel form like Buffy I generally I'll just my plan right now is to go in there and say do you have classics illustrated i'm looking for nicholas

nickelby sure um because that's the one i'm missing i've read the rest i love them you have not lived i mean i'm sure you love dickens right who doesn't love dickens exactly. Dickens plus illustrations. You will, I don't want to say come, but I mean, if you don't get close. Yeah. I mean, at least a chub. Exactly. Chub at the least. So I was so bad because I ordered a present for you on Etsy. It's a great website for gifts and vintage items.

Sure. But only as I was clicking order did I see that it was like an eight-week wait because the item was so popular. Sounds like a pretty popular item. Yeah. Anyway, I didn't wrap it or anything. Oh, this is great. But I got it here. This is a tiny yarn hat that has horns on it.

It's a Viking hat for cats. A Viking hat for a cat. Thank you. This is wonderful. Because you have a cat. This is really wonderful. Yeah, and I mean, she's been asking to have more shit tied to her. So, this is perfect. This is a very cute Viking hat for a

cat. Well, I know that she loves Norsemen. Well, I mean, and she's a classic racist so she is all about the norwegian bloodline she's very mad that uh she also loves the ring trilogy loves the ring trilogy very mad that idris elba was cast in thor yeah uh because that character is supposed to be white yeah um you know i don't really see color but i mean she had a point. So yeah, this is great. Thank you. I will try and put this on her.

I've been wanting to try and put clothes on her, but haven't, you know, I've been so focused on my drone piloting that I really haven't been able to do this. But yeah, I think this will be a lot of fun. If she rejects it, you could always put it on the drone. That's what I was thinking. Oh, sure. That would look good on the drone. That's what I was thinking. Oh, sure. That would look good on the drone. Oh, and they could maybe make a blast of dubstep remix of Wagner's The Ring movement. Yeah, The Ring movement.

And I was meaning to ask you earlier, have you thought about sponsors? Mm. Yet. I have not. Uh-uh. That would help. Etsy would be a very hip happening sponsor for your drone. Yeah, I mean, I think there's a lot of overlap between drone enthusiasts and craft enthusiasts.

I do think it's very, very funny and very telling about Etsy that this was so popular, this Viking hat for a cat. I think it's the perfect size for her head, too. She has a very small head, and I think this will go on nice. This will go on nice. Speaking of the Ring Trilogy, thanks to everybody on the internet who spent the last week recommending fancy things that I should be interested in. Last week on the show, Sean, I talked a little bit about how embarrassed I am at the small number of high class shit that I'm interested in. Okay. Because I'm supposed to be a classy guy and everything. Put this on and so forth.

But I don't like symphonies or operas or long books. Long pants, yes. Long books, no. Someone did suggest that the best way to get over the fact that I don't like Shakespeare would be to watch the movie Ten Things I Hate About You. Hmm. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if that's how to do it. Great Heath Ledger performance.

Like, let's say I watch the movie 10 Things I Hate About You, and I enjoy it, which is very possible. It's supposed to be a pretty good movie. My high school girlfriend had a VHS tape of 10 Things I Hate About You, and every time I went over to her house, I felt like we at least watched 10 minutes of that movie. Was it a good movie? I don't know. I mean, hard to say.

I mean, I think it is. It's well regarded, right? Part of the teen comedy boom of our high school days maybe started with Can't Hardly Wait. Lesser hits like Jawbreaker. Clueless. Clueless. Oh, yeah. Maybe Clueless was the first thing to kind of bring that back. Yeah. I don't... She's All That.

She's All That. Sure. Perennial favorite. In that it's seasonal. Every Christmas, my family gathers around the hearth and watches She's All That. I don't know. Bowed it, bowed it, bowed it. I don't know. I have warm feelings about it

because I think I associate it with a time in my life where I got to kiss. Right. I was very excited about kissing. And usually we would watch the movie and kiss. Yeah, one time I went over to this girl's house and made out with her. It was awesome.

Yeah. It was so awesome. It's like the greatest thing that had ever happened to me. So yeah, but I don't remember. Oh, you know what I remember about that movie is that the, so it's about two. You weren't sure what to do with your tongue. Right, exactly.

So I just went, num, num, num, num, num. Num, num, num, num, num, num. So you do have num, num. Yeah, oh, sorry. I just have my internal num, num, num, num, num. Num, num, num, num, num, num. So you do have num, num. Yeah. Oh, sorry. I just have my internal num, nums that I make myself. I remember that the, so I guess it's about two sisters. Uh-huh.

And one is like a joiner and one is a rebel. Okay. Played by. Conflict. A woman. Mm-hmm. An actress. Claire Danes or whatever. Claire Danes or whatever.

Claire Danes or something. Julia Stiles? It's Julia Stiles. There you go. And you know, she's- Sean gave me a nod like, hmm. Yeah. Yeah, I had that off the dome.

Right off the dome. Yeah. I was a reporter at the time, so. And she was into alternative rock. She didn't like pop music. Very rebellious. She liked alternative rock. And they went to, in order to get closer to her, one of the characters went with her to a Letters to Cleo concert.

So let's say I liked the movie Ten Things About You. Ten Things I Hate About You. Sure. Which is based on The Two Gentlemen of Verona or whatever. Sure. The Taming of the Shrew, by the way. The Taming of the Things. Why would that mean that I then like Hitler?

Wait, I mean... What? Are you equating Shakespeare to Hitler? What an odd... I'm going to have to bring that up with my therapy yeah because apparently you have some unresolved issues about shakespeare why would that mean that i would then like shakespeare i well i think you were probably being trolled i don't think this was i think this was a no i think this girl legit loves 10 things i hate about you okay wants me to like it well if, if that is the case, yeah, maybe...

No offense to her, but she looked like she would like the movie 10 things. Okay, that's, I mean, sure,

I can see how you would see someone and you could, you're like, okay, this is... She looked like a fun 30-ish year old lady.

Okay. Who probably went to some Letters to Cleo concerts. Exactly. Did she also suggest the Baz Luhrmann musical version of Romeo and Juliet?

Several people suggested that. I saw that in the theater. That's like one of the worst things I've ever seen in my life. I would not suggest that. Yeah, maybe just her issue was that you were having a hard time following the plots of Shakespeare. And then if you had a fun, light example of the plot, then you could go back and just kind of enjoy the Shakespearean language and then map it on top of 10 things I hate about you and it'll be easier to follow. Fuck her. Wow.

I'm sorry I'm having to give people the benefit of the doubt so much today. This nice woman, the Cosmo Bears, Octonauts. You know what? I am literally, my ears are pouring rage onto my shoulders. Sure. Right now. And it's a white shirt. And it's a white shirt.

And it's red rage. Wow. Wow. Hmm. It was part of a time in, I remember, God, what did I watch? I, for some reason, watched, I thought maybe I would like The West Wing. So I watched the pilot of

The West Wing, and there was a dangerous character on The West Wing who was speeding through town in her convertible, listening to Letters to Cleo. And I think The West Wing always comes back to Letters to Cleo. The West Wing came out around the same time as 10 Things I Hate About You.

And I like it that there was a time in America where a tough, no-nonsense, modern woman rocked out to letters to Cleo. Anyway. There was not a sentence on the West Wing that could have been more associated with swells of emotional music. Yeah. Watched like an episode of the West Wing as an adult man. I was just like, Jesus fucking Christ. He's off the throttle, guys. As I said, rage pouring out of my ears.

Sure, yeah. The West Wing in my crosshairs. You think Shakespeare's basically Hitler. Not Josh Molina. He's been a guest on that show. Sure. He's great on the West Wing, just as he was on Sports Night. Shakespeare.

Hitler. Just because I was upset with Hitler for perpetrating the Holocaust. Everything else got caught in this wake. Yeah. West Side Story. Have you seen West Side Story West Side sure I do like West Side Story is that fancy

it's a very modern take on Romeo and Juliet but that didn't make me like Romeo and Juliet that's my point here like sure like

maybe I like Game of Thrones it's sort of about the War of the Roses it doesn't mean I like Richard III yeah wait Game of Thrones is about War of the Roses?

I think the lesson here is, listeners out there, fuck your suggestions. You're all a bunch of assholes. Know what Jesse will like ahead of time and recommend that to him. Yes, Boz Skaggs. Sure. That's what I like. Recommend your favorite Boz Skaggs songs, But only the ones from the era that Jesse likes. Let's start a thread.

We're going to start a thread on the Reddit. It's not fancy things that Jesse should like. It's Boz Skaggs songs that Jesse should like. Sure. But make sure they're the ones he already likes. And Boz Skaggs only. Don't try and give me like a Manhattan Transfer song or something. Sure. But make sure they're the ones he already likes. And Boz Skaggs only. Don't try and give me like a Manhattan Transfer song or something. Sure.

Boz Skaggs only. All Skaggs all the time. Is there a Boz Skaggs just subreddit we can just move everyone over to? R slash Skaggs? That might be something else. R slash the Boz man? Sure. Yeah.

God, we have to start a Boz Skaggs subreddit. R slash the boss man? Sure, yeah. God, we have to start a boss gag subreddit. R slash skags gone wild. Can we just move the entire Maximum Fun subreddit to reddit.com slash r slash boss skags? Yeah, you can also talk about throwing shade if you want to. Just confuse all the boss skags fans. I'm glad I got all that off my chest. I'm not really angry

at the people suggesting things to me. It was sweet of them. I like this cat hat. You think I should take pictures of the cat while she's in the hat?

Only if you want to be rich and famous on the internet. I do. I mean, again, it might be a distraction from drone piloting, but I could probably take a few

minutes to take some pictures of my cat in a fucking hat. Why don't you become a Snapchat celebrity instead? Again, I'm just forward thinking. That's yesterday. Okay. I mean, yeah. Would it be amazing to be a Snapchat celebrity or a Vine star? Hell yeah. But... All the Jordans you can drink.

What's next? Uh-huh. What's next? I think that... I'm sorry. drink. What's next? Uh-huh. What's next? And I think that. I'm sorry. What's app? What's next? What's app? What's app?

What's app? What's app? So, yeah. Hat on the cat. Monday, I'm off to the drone store. And then a new life. Well, Jordan, it's been really great being friends with you in the past. Yeah, it's been a lot of fun.

Now almost. Real hoot. Coming up on 15 years. Sure. Well, Jordan, it's been really great being friends with you in the past. Yeah, it's been a lot of fun. Now almost. Real hoot. Coming up on 15 years. Sure. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, just about 15 years now, Jordan. And you've been a really great friend and a really great collaborator. Sure.

I think you're so talented in so many ways. I don't know about the drone thing. Sure. We'll find out. It's going to be great. So I'm just going to throw myself into it like I throw myself know about the drone thing. Sure. That'll be great. I'm just going to throw myself into it like I throw myself into everything else.

You're such an incredible talent. I'm so happy that I hope I'll still get to see you sometimes. Maybe you can save tickets for me for the tournament. Yeah, I mean, you'll see me on ESPN or wherever this stuff is broadcast. It's probably going to be on ESPN. On regular ESPN.

Yeah. Yeah, certainly. I don't think I want to be on one of those sub-ESPNs. Fox Sports World. Yeah. Fox Sports in Espanol. That's just all drone-aligned. They love soccer and drones.

Who knew? Yeah, we like it. drones. Who knew? Yeah. Yeah, we like it. We can shoot it outdoors in natural light. Okay, let's do momentous occasions here, Jordan. That'd be great. When something momentous happens to you, we ask you to call us at 206-984-4FUN for our beloved segment, Momentous Occasions. You can also email us at jjgoe at maximumfun.org. Let's take our first call. Hey, Jordan and Jesse. My name is Ben, and I was driving home, and I live in Minnesota,

and you see a lot of dead deer on the side of the road. So I saw a dead deer on the side of the road, but this particular dead deer had a large shape on it. And I slowed down to see what it was more clearly. And as I got closer, I realized it was an enormous bald eagle. So I slowed way down because I wanted to see it because bald eagles are awesome. And as I got closer, the bald eagle heard me and he lifted his head up from inside the deer. His head was inside the deer eating. And he pulled it up and turned to stare at me with blood dripping from his maw. And he just stared me down with those hard eagle eyes. And he started to take off because I was too close to him.

It took off and he flew right at my car, right over the top of me. And all I could think was, America. All right, thanks car, right over the top of me. And all I could think was America. Alright, thanks guys. Bye. You know, I don't I don't. Now I'm going to be the negative one. I'm going to go ahead and call bullshit. This isn't something

this guy saw in person. This is a Ted Cruz campaign commercial. Beat for beat. This is playing in Iowa right now. Did you see it on 60 Minutes or something? Yeah. 60 Minutes. I love 60 Minutes.

I know you love 60 Minutes. And the eagle screams cruise as it flies overhead. Like, cuckoo. Cuckoo. Yeah. So I'm sick and tired of people calling in saying they saw something in real life when it was actually just a commercial. Wait a minute. I'm remembering this.

I saw this on Meet the Press. I watch Meet the Press every week. Sure. I love it. I love Morley Safer. It's my favorite. Yeah, he's the best. Ed Bradley.

Oh, yeah. All those guys. That cranky guy with the commentaries. Mm-hmm. Anyway. I saw it. Yeah, and it's amazing. The eagle says cruise.

It flies over the car window. Mm-hmm. Then you hear the national anthem play. The red, white, and blue, the funny things you do. His name is Cruise. His name is Cruise. Vote for Ted Cruz. So, yeah, I mean, it's a really beautiful commercial, and I'm sorry this guy feels like his life is so empty that he has to call in and just describe amazing commercials to us.

I mean, he lives in Minnesota. What does he got? He's got Lakes, Prince, Kent Herbeck. Yeah. You know. It's pretty good, I guess. Yeah, I guess. You know what? Wow, that's pretty solid. When you get Herbeck. Yeah. You know. It's pretty good, I guess. Yeah, I guess. You know what?

Wow, that's pretty solid. When you get Herbeck. Yeah. You know. You can't go back. I mean, they can't say that in South Dakota. That's what Kent Herbeck always says. Once you go Herbeck, you can't go back.

He says that in the local car dealership commercials that I'm sure he's in in Minneapolis, St. Paul right now. Former Twins first baseman Kent Herbeck. And he slam ducks a basketball? You think Herbeck does a commercial with Doug Minkiewicz? I think probably so. I don't know. Look, we both used to play first base for the Twins.

Sure. We both had complicated... We have more in common than just playing first base for the twins and having difficult-to-spell surnames. We both love 0% APR financing. Exactly. Let's take our next call. This is Jessica in Switzerland.

I had a moment... Hold on, pause. Pause it! Did she say Switzerland? I think she in Switzerland. I had a moment. Hold on. Pause. Pause it. Did she say Switzerland? I think she said Switzerland. I heard Switzerland. Yeah. So this is an expensive call.

That's kind of sexy. The Swiss? Sure. Yeah. No, it's sexy that she called all the way from Switzerland. Yeah. Long distance. She could be eating milk chocolate right now.

Yeah, sure. Skiing. Having a knife with many uses getting insurance sure making a watch being neutral being a cow so yeah it's great i'm i'm glad i hope i hope that the call is as sexy as the premise of long distance fees yeah okay let's let's go back to the beginning brian because i want to I hope that the call is as sexy as the premise of long-distance fees. Yeah. Okay. Let's go back to the beginning, Brian, because I want to fully appreciate this.

This is Jessica in Switzerland. I had a momentous occasion. My surgeon just told me they will be removing my butthole. So that's pretty momentous. Get him, get him, get him. That is the slogan for 2016. Get him, get him, get him. You got it right, Jessica.

All the way over in Switzerland. Wow. That can happen. I wonder how one poops. Now, hold on. Hold on. And what one does for one's husband's birthday. Jordan. I don't know that this woman is married or even heterosexual.

I'm just speculating. Hold on, Jordan. I have a concern about this. Just one concern? Yeah, I have one concern. concern yeah i have one concern so we ask people for your benefit sean to call in when something momentous happens to them and i think sometimes they might hear a story see a show something and they want to make that their experience they call it in to kind of solidify it and get themselves the points. And frankly, the sort of fuck power that comes with being on air on Jordan Jesse Go.

This story about the butthole removal, this is a Hillary Clinton commercial. Yeah. You know what? Now that you say that, you see the woman on the operating table. This is a Hillary Clinton commercial. Yeah. You know what? Now that you say that, I can – you see the woman on the operating table. I saw it on Dateline. Yeah. Ted Koppel was there. The whole gang.

And yeah, no, I see it. And the doctor says we're going to have to take the butt. Yeah. He says, Madam, we're in Switzerland. Yeah. As you know, the country you live in and we're going to have to remove your butthole yeah and then the young woman turns to camera a single tear rolls down her cheek like that famous litter indian from the 70s and she says hillary

2016 and then the national anthem plays yeah Yeah. I'm the king of rock. There is none higher. Sucker MCs should call me sire. Yeah. No, I know. It is a shame that people are, people lead such sad, you know, sad, uneventful lives. And Hillary says, I won't stop rocking till I retire. Drops the mic.

Yeah. Does a dab. I have to say, I'm very impressed with both of you that you will not get trolled by these people. No, you have to be vigilant against this, Sean. Brian fell for this shit. Brian screens the calls. This guy is as dumb as a rock.

There's an advice columnist, Ask Amy, who has now been famously trolled at least twice with advice questions that are essentially the plots of TV shows. Oh, yeah. The most recent one was someone was asking a question that was a plot line from Seinfeld. Oh. She got the room, too. Yeah, and the room was the other one. That was the original. Yeah, boy.

Those are pretty good choices. Yeah. I mean, it's not that funny of a joke, but those are two of the better choices you could make. Sure. So, yeah, I mean, I guess we just don't want to be in that, you know, in that shit storm. Right. So I think we just have to, you know, keep our eyes open, keep our ears to the ground, nos ago, the southern guy who was in Aspen, Colorado, Van? Sure. Now that I think about it, that's a plot line straight out of Fibber McGee and Molly.

Oh, my gosh. It's a classic episode. Well, even where – you know, it happens to the best of us. Did you follow the script or did you give an alternate plotline? No, I followed the script. I sent in for a script after I heard it on the wireless. And. Well, I mean, even the, you know, sometimes even the troll experts can be trolled.

No one's immune. Man, I thought I was immune. Like, what are those people that can't get AIDS? No. Uh-uh. We can get AIDS, my friend. AIDS in this case. Oh, I know I can get AIDS.

AIDS in this case is... I learned that one the hard way. Sure. When you use Charlie Sheen's toothbrush. That's not how it... Jordan, that's not how it... I don't know. No, that's not how it, Jordan, it's not how it. I don't know. No, that's not how it.

Come on. Okay. Do you know where his toothbrush has been? Sure. All guys are toilet seats. That's not how it spreads. It's not how it spreads. It's not how it spreads.

Educate yourself. These are ugly rumors from the mid-80s that we're alluding to. Educate yourself. These are not things we believe. We're alluding to ugly things from the mid-80s that we're alluding to. Educate yourself. These are not things we believe. We're alluding to ugly things from the mid-80s. We're spreading awareness. Now each joke requires a minute of apology. They were pretty grotesque jokes.

Oh, boy. Well. One to one. One joke, one apology. Yeah. Well, if you have a momentous occasion to share with us, let's say you use the toilet at Magic Johnson's house. Give us a call at 206-984-4FUN. That's 206-984-4FUN.

And we, of course, salute his courage. Salute to you, sir, Magic Johnson. Sure. The great Showtime Magic Johnson of the Los Angeles Lakers. Slam dunk artist extraordinaire. 206-984-4FUN or JJGO at MaximumFun.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio Jesse Go. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne,

America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Sean McCarthy, the comics comic. We got to wrap this thing up. We're going to see Don Rickles, Jordan. The great Don Rickles.

Hockey puck is what he says. Oh, hockey puck. I hear he sings. I'm excited. Excited for all of it. Do you think he's going to sing in this show? I should hope so.

Yeah, I hope so too. If not, I want my goddamn money back it. Do you think he's going to sing in this show? I should hope so. Yeah, I hope so, too. If not, I want my goddamn money back. What do you think he sings? Probably a national anthem. Yeah, the theme song to America's Funniest Home Videos. Oops, I did it again. I'm American. I live in the city.

Hotline Bling. Probably Hotline Bling. Hotline Bling. Yeah. You know what? But he's so old, he calls it Landline Bling, right? Hotline Bling is a good song. Hotline Bling is a great song. That bling is a great song that's a jam that's why that is a goddamn jam i i fucking hate drake like i hate drake so much yeah he boy he drake is i think what a great i think i've said

this on the show before drake is such a great comedy target he's such a funny thing to make fun of he's yeah and i just yeah i just can't stand Drake, but he's very good at the thing he does. And the fucking Hotline Bling is a great song. Totally. I feel like every time I hear it, I'm like, God damn it. Yeah, that's a great song. That's how I feel about Hotline Bling. It's undeniable.

Exactly. It's a really good way of putting it. It's undeniable. Exactly. That's a really good way of putting it. It's undeniable. Thank you. You're welcome. Were you ever a journalist like a reporter? Like a newspaper reporter? Like a real life, yes.

That's probably why you're so good at diction. Selecting words. I wore bow ties and pants. You know, I remember... Had a notebook? I remember a time when dicking on Toby Keith was at its height. And I think this was maybe like a couple years after he had famously sung that he was going to put a boot in the ass of anyone who opposed America. Yeah.

And he came out with a song called Red Solo Cup where he and his famous friends, in the video, he and his famous friends, like Carrot Top and a couple of the, you know, blue-collar comedy guys were goofing around and having a party, and it was the, you know, it was the thing du jour for the, you know, comedy literati to be making fun of I'm like alright I'm gonna dig in I'm gonna watch this red solo cup I kinda

liked red solo cup yeah to this day if I am in a restaurant and red solo cup comes on I tap my foot a little bit Toby Keith will write a real kick ass country radio song oh boy yeah he'll put a fun song on the radio I have not eaten at Toby Keith's Fuck This Bar and Grill, but I hope to someday.

And I bet whatever they're serving up is probably pretty tasty. Probably put a boot up the ass of those nachos, my friend. Yeah, that's right. Am I right? Mm-hmm. Sean McCarthy has been our guest on the program. Sean is the editor of the Comics Comic, a great blog about comedy. And he's also the host of the podcast of the same name.

What kind of guests are we looking at on the podcast lately? Just had a great chat with Hannibal Buress about his new Netflix special. We talk about his life and career. One of the funniest guys around. I spoke with Guy Branum this week in Los Angeles. The great Guy Branum of Pop Rocket. One of the other funniest guys around. A Maximum Fun team player.

Yeah, Maximum Fun team player. Thank you very much, the great Guy Branum. So check out the comics comic. I want to note, by the way, Jordan, I don't know if you've looked on the head of our producer, Brian, but that is a hell of a baseball cap he's wearing. Yeah. That's one of the new put this on ball caps, Jordan.

We got New York ones. We got California ones. We got ones with a cool star on it. They're all at putthisonshop.com. Sounds great. Use the code FULLCHART. You put on the star if you live elsewhere. Exactly.

Sure. Or if you live in those places and you would just want to color coordinate differently. Sure. Navy and gold for California. Navy and gray for the Empire State. White and navy for the Star. There you go. Another good reason to buy the Star hat, if you're a Norteño.

Sure. So if it's a gang affiliation thing, if you want to fly colors. Got it. But you want to do it in a classy way with a beautiful leather band and wool flannel just throwing it out there great we got to go see Don Rickles we're on reddit

maximumfund.org no reddit.com slash r slash maximumfund or maximumfund.reddit.com we're on facebook you can follow us on twitter at jesse thorn at jordan morris i'm not trying to brag we're on Facebook. You can follow us on Twitter, at Jesse Thorne, at Jordan Morris, Jordan underscore Morris,

specifically. I'm not trying to brag, but I got retweeted earlier this week by confirmed genius Lin-Manuel Miranda. Hmm. So, you could get in on that, guys. Sure.

Hashtag at JJ Go. And this is the final week of the Get Em, Get Em, Get Em T-shirt. Better get in there and order it. Yeah, right. Because it's going to be gone forever. Order them, order them, order them. Yeah, exactly. MaxFunStore.com is where you can get those.

We'll talk to you next time on Jordan and Jesse Go. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.