Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 429: Send Nudes with Randy Liedtke

Episode Date: May 23, 2016

Comedian Randy Liedtke joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of how both Jesse and Jordan may be too full to podcast, Jordan's @midnight premise dreams, and the monk named Burrito who lived at Jesse's dad's house.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. Hi, it's Jordan Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Uh, Jordan Moore, Sport Detective. Oh no, what's wrong, Jordan? Too full to podcast. Oh, what have you been eating? Beans again? No, I wish. Jesus Christ.

have you been eating? Beans again? No, I wish. Jesus Christ. We have a little pocket between when I get off of work and our record. Yeah, like a nice tight window. Yeah, and it's a little, it's not quite long

enough a window to go home. Yeah. But it's just long enough to stop and get a bite to eat. Sure, and it's the perfect time to get a bite to eat. You're talking about's the perfect time to get a bite to eat. You're talking about dinner time, right? Exactly. Man, I stopped and I ate. I got Korean chicken wings.

I got them. Oh, wow. And I got the wing sampler, which means you get three of every flavor of wing. How many flavors are we looking at? Four flavors. That's a dozen wings. Yeah. Did you make it a baker's dozen?

No. That's your mistake. You get. Did you make it a baker's dozen? No. That's your mistake. You get a little stack of French fries for good measure. Do you think they don't know about baker's dozens in Korea and that's the problem? Yeah. Well, I think it's illegal to be a baker over there. Oh, got it. Baking's illegal.

Yeah. Is that a legacy of something about the North-South conflict? I mean, I don't know too much about that area of the world. Sure. No, I wouldn't accuse you of being a Korean studies scholar. No, I'm pretty good at Starcraft. That's about as far as it goes. Right.

But yeah, no, I think there is something there about how cakes, pies, and other baked goods are doorways for spirits. Also, if you leave a fan on when you sleep, you die. Yeah, these are all... I'm pretty sure all this is true about the Koreas. I'm like 60%. 60% confident that that's real facts about Koreas. So you have... Oh, and ducks will spit nightmares into your mouth.

You got 12 wings. So three of each flavor. What flavor is it? Soy garlic. Let's see. This has a jalapeno. Okay. So three of each flavor. What flavor is it? Soy garlic. Let's see. This had a jalapeno. Okay. Butter coconut.

Oh. She had some little shaves of coconut on top. Got it. Like some sort of hot pepper. Right. And then traditional crispy. Got it.

So no soy garlic at all? No soy garlic. Hmm. I am so full. And I drank a height. Hmm. Hmm. I am so full. I had a drink of Height. Huh. He noised disapprovingly. I had one of those Heights, too, which I'm always worried I'll mispronounce when I order it and just seem like the whitest white.

Is it Heate? I think it's Height. Height? I said it, and the guy didn't make a face at me like I was wrong. But, I mean, he could just be a nice guy. He could just be a nice guy, but usually I get a little face because I want to say hite. Right. I want to say it.

Yeah. When I'm ordering it, I want to say it. You know what I want to say? Chan Ho Park. Former Dodgers pitcher, Chan Ho Park. I think that's the way to pronounce it. But I am so full. Oh my God, I'm full.

So you just took out those 12 wings, but you also had a side of French fries. A little stack of fries. I wouldn't call it a full side. It's more of a little stack. Okay. It's like an after dinner mint, but it's fried potatoes with a little white drizzle on top. I don't know what the drizzle is. Like that handful of colorful herbs that you get at the end of your Indian meal?

Exactly, yeah. But it's French fries in a stack. With a little white drizzle on top. Palm frite in French. I don't know what the drizzle is. Palm frite. Oh, boy. Yeah.

Anyway, so that's where I'm at. I just want you and the listener to know that I am so full. Well, Jordan, I've got bad news for you, my friend. And bad news for the listeners to this podcast. I, too, am too full to podcast. Oh, no, I've got bad news for you, my friend, and bad news for the listeners to this podcast. I, too, am too full to podcast. Oh, no. I know. Here's what happened to me, Jordan.

Yeah. Well, first of all, at lunchtime, there's just a few people around the office. A few people are out of the office. And I think to myself, you know, you're a big man, Jesse Thorne. You know, you're a titan of industry. You're a leader. You're a thought leader. And you're very affluent.

Let's treat these little people to lunch. So I'm not ashamed to say that I've got the scratch to go to that taco truck and say, whatever you want, guys. Go nuts. Go apeshit. And you know what? Even Ibarian X, our production fellow, he said to me, I'd like four carnitas tacos. Now, number one, four tacos, that's not an unreasonable order, but that's a serious order. Sure, it's hearty.

Yeah. You're hungry. I said to Ibarian X- Make it a baker's dozen. I said to him, would you like an avocado on that? I mean, not an entire avocado. No, no. That would be amazing.

If you could get your tacos with an avocado on top. So I had a torta. And so I was already rolling pretty full. Yeah. Normally, I don't go home between work and when we record this program. But for the same reason as you. This podcast is really going to be big with all the scheduling nerds.

Oh, yeah. People who want to like, all right, we know about this funny thing that happened to you, but let's hear about this. Break it down. Day to day, five to six. What are you doing?

Happy Secretary's Day, folks. Sure. Administrative Professionals Day, Jordan. It's all... Okay, I want to get into this when we introduce our guests. Right. Did you know it's also Send Nudes Day? I did hear it's Send Nudes Day.

It's international. I don't know if it's international or if it's just an American holiday. It could just be. Definitely a bank holiday. It could be Western and it has yet to reach the Orient. Anyway, so finish your food story and then we'll talk about Send Nudes Day. Anyway, so finish your food story and then we'll talk about Send Nudes Day. But this morning, I had gone to Costco and purchased some gorgeous – what do you call these?

Drums of suntan lotion? Just some – so, well, I did buy myself two inflatable boats. That was a little treat for myself. Yeah. But I bought some short ribs. I bought some of these gorgeous boneless short ribs. And then I'm like, I got to cook these short ribs. So this morning before I went to work, I'm like, I know what I'll do.

I'll get them ready. I'll put them in the slow cooker. I'll get to work. Did you need to cook them so fast because like the Koreans that you think the refrigerator is a gateway to the land of the dead? Yeah, absolutely. Of course it's a gateway to the land of the dead. Yeah, absolutely. Of course it's a gateway to the land of the dead. And these short ribs, they're not alive. No.

They're going to trot right off. Sure. So... Can't put them in there. Off to the other side. I put these short ribs in the cooker, but then I'm at work and I realize, holy shit, I got to do Jordan Yosemite tonight. I'm going to be home for dinner.

So you know what I did? I turned up the pressure. I said to my employees, I walked out there, I said, ladies and gentlemen, hold your applause. You're welcome for lunch. $24 it cost me, Jordan. But I said, hold your applause. I paid for Diet Cokes. I even paid for a full liter of cola for Christian Duenas. He said, I want a Coke. I want the bottle kind. They only have the one liter bottle, not that 16 ounce bottle. I bought it for him. Maybe a little too much Coke, Jesse.

Tell that to Christian. I'm just saying, as the BMOC, big man on campus, and the guy paying for the lunch, shouldn't you encourage healthful choices? You know what, Jordan? the lunch, shouldn't you encourage healthful choices? You know what, Jordan? How about instead of a liter Coke, he gets to eat a handful of whole grains? I don't think it's my job to police the choices of my employees. I just encourage them to fulfill themselves and follow their dreams, whether it's spreadsheets or colas okay well now i know a little bit more about

your mo i turned up the heat i said let's get this let's get this shit handled by 4 p.m i want to track my hit national public radio show bullseye on more stations than Marion McPartland's piano jazz, the late Marion McPartland's piano jazz. That's how successful my NPR show is. And they did it. They came through for me because they know on what side of the bread their butter comes. Sure. So I went home and I fucked up some short ribs, Jordan.

Yeah. I cooked a nice pasta. You just grabbedums. Sure. So I went home and I fucked up some short ribs, Jordan. Yeah. I cooked a nice pasta. You just grabbed them. Okay. I was going to say, if you really wanted to kind of like make it efficient, you wouldn't even eat it with anything. You would just grab it out of the slow cooker with your hand and put it right into your mouth.

Jordan, I've got a correction. Did you consider that? I've got a correction for you. If I wanted to make it efficient, I'd get my face down in there and eat out of it like a trough. Oh, yeah. Could you maybe. It's a perfect trough size. It's a full-size slow cooker.

Could you rig up a belt or a strap to strap it to your head so you could also drive while you ate? Like a feed bag? Like a feed bag, yes. Well, I mean, I have one strap rigged up. And it is rigged up to the slow cooker. But it's rigged up to shake my tum-tum. Oh, sure, like an old-time reducing machine. Exactly, and that way I don't gain weight when I'm eating these short ribs. Should we introduce our guest?

I'd love to. What were we talking about? Oh, why we're so full. Yeah, and nude day. Mm-hmm. And nude day was also came out. Send nudes day. Yeah, so I think we're both too full to podcast, so apologies to the audience, but I say we

muscle through this thing. Yeah, I mean, I might leave to poop. Brian's. But if you guys would just carry on. Yeah. Or I could maybe bring, I don't know what the range on this cord is. I could just bring this guy in the bathroom with me. I don't like that.

Nah, I mean, I think the people that are annoyed by Brian's laughing and the occasional chewing noises would love to hear the Korean chicken wing poops splattering into the toilet while we chat. I don't like anything about even discussing this. All right. I don't like it at all. I'm just saying that I think what people love most about this podcast, it's two things. It's scheduling talk. Number one is scheduling talk. Two is ancillary noises. Right.

And I think we can really kick it up with some poop splats. So ancillary noises, like our producer Brian laughing outside the booth, but he laughs so loud that it penetrates the booth. Sometimes when we eat something and we chew on microphone. And now? Do you think we could, how about this? Can I pitch you an alternative

and then we'll introduce our guest? Okay. He's been sitting so patient. Yeah. He's a nice man. How about this? Spoiler alert, the guest is a man.

Yeah. We make a new podcast that's just you pooping and we pitch it to the ASMR community. I think they would love that. I think they would too. And then I'll go show. They get that, they pitch it to the asmr community i think they would love that i think they would too and then i'll just get that they call it a brain orgasm i'll softly whisper while

i do it you know what i usually do too you know what i call a brain orgasm completing the latest best-selling literary novel and contemplating its themes nice but then, my NPR show is more popular than the late Marion McPartland's piano jazz. I've heard that. Our guest on the program is a beloved stand-up comedian. He's wearing New Balance sneakers, presumably to avoid a narrow path. I've never met the man until 15 minutes ago, but I tell you what, Jordan, I like this guy. I like this guy's vibe, Jordan. He's a great guy.

He seems like a good dude. And I think the audience is going to enjoy him, too. Yeah. Randy Litke. Hi, Randy. Hey, guys. How are you, friend? I'm doing great.

Are we friends? Absolutely. Thank you very much. Oh, handshake. Thank you. Thank you very much. Hey, Randy. Yep.

How full are you? Actually, that's the thing I've been thinking about this whole time. I'm too hungry to podcast. Really? I don't know if we're going to get along. You want me to regurgitate into your mouth like a mommy bird? Something. We need to figure out some sort of balance.

I'm willing to regurgitate into your mouth like a mommy wolf, if that helps. Oh, shit. Two different styles. I'm into it. Depends on what you're into. Yeah. Ow. Bird noise. Two different styles. I'm into it. Depends on what you're into. Yeah. Ow. Bird noise.

Yeah. Sure. Why did you not get a chance to eat? Why are you so hungry, buddy? Just always hungry, man. Oh, okay. Oh, you're talking about a sort of existential hunger? I'm hungry for success.

Hungry for truth? Yeah, yeah. No, I ate not too long ago. I'm not super hungry. I went and ate with a girl, so I didn't want to really eat as much as I wanted to. Right. I couldn't do the dozen wings and the stack of fries. You didn't want to seem like a monster.

Yeah. What did you have during this girl meal? Had some sushi. Classic girl meal. Classic girl meal? Had some sushi. Classic girl meal. Classic girl meal. Happy hour sushi meal. Yeah, listening to some Mariah Carey. That was at like three or so, and then I went for a walk.

Okay. So. So that burned some of it off. Yeah, all of it probably. I don't know how it all works, but I walk once every couple weeks to burn off everything. Sure. And I think that'll do it. I think you can burn off a week's worth of calories

with just a jaunt to the mailbox. Certainly it was just a bunch of fucking girl meals. I know. I thought we were inviting men only onto this podcast. That's the rule that you and I agreed on, Jordan. Men only. None of these whiny

feminists and their Ghostbusters reboots. I go crazy. Listen, guys. I'll eat over the sink with the water running. Wow. Is that to wash away your sin? Yeah, that's just like, that's the only or the shower or the woods.

Those are the only places I like to eat. God, it would be amazing to eat wings in the shower. That would be real. I have an idea. You wouldn't have to have your face into the shower the whole time. You could turn your back to the nozzle, munch the wings, drop the wings just on the fucking ground. Whatever. The housekeeper could take care of that.

That's not your issue. Dunk them in the shampoo. What if instead of, how about this, Jordan? You know those big pump containers of shampoo? Sure. Just put blue cheese in there. Oh, man, that would be so efficient. Yeah.

That's a good idea, yeah. That would be really efficient. Oh, and also the shower shoots beer at you. Yeah. That's what you're bathing in. You got it. That's going to be a- A little brewski.

A little brewski. A little brewski. A little brewski. A little brewski. a little bruski strangely steamy a little bruski i have an idea for a wing because like i love wings but i just hate eating them near people me too it's like it feels shameful oh god you got a beard too i had a beard yeah my beard i ate wings the other day and it was it was a fucking situation yeah it's a mess so my idea is it's like i don't know what it's what it's called but basically everyone has like a voting booth that they eat in basically. So you close the curtain and you go in and you eat your wings.

A little shame shack. Yes. That's solid. Yeah. Think we can get on Shark Tank? Got to. Yeah, I think that'd be the way to go. You know what? If we don't get on Shark Tank, let's take this to Dragon's Den. Sure. The lesser known. Yeah. It's the way to go. You know what? If we don't get on Shark Tank, let's take this to Dragon's Den. Sure.

The lesser known. Yeah. That's the British Shark Tank. That's the British Shark Tank. Yeah. I don't know what- You know what? How about this?

If it doesn't go on Shark Tank and it doesn't go on Dragon's Den, I say we take it to UK Antiques Roadshow. Sure. Or we could do the Gila Monster's Hole, which is the shark tank of the Galapagos Islands. You know, when something like that is- That was the original name. It just wouldn't translate over here. When something's developed on an island, it really develops in unique and remarkable ways.

Yeah. Their Mark Cuban is really beautiful. The good news about- Such beautiful plumage on their Cuban. The good news about that show is no natural predators. Right. So yeah. Did you guys celebrate Send Nudes

Day? Did anyone send nudes? I guess I should say we're taping this on Thursday. Yeah. By the time you hear this, all you'll be thinking about is something from June. Yeah. Probably. I know, right? Like Juneteenth. All you guys will be thinking about Juneteenth. Yeah. Probably. I know, right? Like Juneteenth.

All you guys will be thinking about Juneteenth. Sure. Celebration of African American history and heritage. One of my favorites. Yeah. What else happens in June? I got Juneteenth already. I feel like I've made my contribution.

It's like a movie coming out. Anyway. Very bad with months. Yeah. This guy. Me. Me. Pointing to myself.

You're pointing at us. These guys are bad with months. Yeah. This guy. Me, pointing to myself. You're pointing at us. These guys are bad with months. No, just notoriously bad. Bad at remembering birthdays, months. You've achieved notoriety in the field of being bad at months? It's just a self, I don't know. But where? Like at the movie theater, the concessionaires are like, Randy stopped by today.

Sometimes I don't know what month is next. Right. I can't recall. If I tried to name all 12 months, I'd leave one of them out. Probably April. I had to take a – Where did all these May flowers come from? In April?

Yeah. There had to have been some showers at a certain point, but when did they happen? I had to take a neurological exam recently. This is not uncommon occurrence in my life. I got migraine headaches. So when you go to a new doctor, they have to administer a neurological exam to make sure that you're not. A nude doctor? Yeah, when you go to a nude doctor.

I went actually earlier today, so they sent me a nude doctor. So you were ready for send nudes there. And they ask you questions, like the sort of questions that you would get asked in a field sobriety test. So there's different things you have to do. You have to stick your fingers out

and then touch your nose. Stick your fingers out, touch your nose. Stand on one foot. Different scratching things. Anyway. You do a lot of scratching. They check your scratching, your mixing, your crossfading. Yeah, hell yeah.

It's dope. But then they ask you those kind of questions. Like they give you five words and then they ask you to repeat them back at the end of the quiz. Yeah. They ask you who the president is and what the date is. Like shit, the kind of basic shit that you should be able to answer like the kind of questions that they ask a football player who's been dazed on the field before they put him in despite the fact that he definitely should not go back in. Like questions so easy. And I fucking – I think that this – it was for biofeedback for my migraines.

I think that this psychologist who did these tests may think that I'm developmentally disabled. You got them all wrong. I did so – Randy, I can't even begin to tell you. I think of the five words – What did you miss? I don't even remember. So if the questions were what questions did we ask you, you would also get that wrong. I did not know what date it was.

Oh, yeah. And initially- I don't always know that. Before correcting myself, got the month wrong. I was like, he said, what's the date? I said, I genuinely don't know. Not off the top of my head. And he's like, what month is it?

And I'm like, April or- No, it's May. It's May. It was May. month is it and i'm like april or no it's may it's may it was may so if it is unusual that the last part of the quiz is just about the first two seasons of castle yeah that was a little but luckily i love nathan fillion sure so i'll watch anything fillion and i remember any i actually have you ever read the book uh how to win friends Influence People by Dale Carnegie? I think judging by the amount of friends I have and the people I've influenced, the answer is no.

So in that book he talks about how to remember people's names. And this is a secret. I don't know if you know this, Randy. I don't. I'll just let you know that. But like, Randy, I just met you in the elevator. It was great. It was really fun to meet you, Randy, I just met you in the elevator and it was great. It was really

fun to meet you, Randy. Yeah. Thank you. That's an example of the techniques in the book. Did you say my name back to me? Is that part of it? No. So what you do is inside your head, you take the person's name. So in this case, I met you, say Randy, and then you associate it with Nathan Fillion. Sure. From Firefly and Castle and Gumball Rally or whatever that – Death Race 3000. I don't – what was he – wasn't he in like a rally car movie? Oh, I don't know. I don't think so. I mean, I don't – I – What was he in?

What was his movie? He was in a movie in between Firefly and Castle. And I remember because you went to interview him at a thing and was like, you know who's a nice guy? Nathan Fillion. He was Slither. Slither. Yeah, it might have been Slither. Slither's a hoot.

So, for example, like if I met Randy, I would say, Randy, Nathan Fillion. So now I remember when I look at him, I see Nathan Fillion. He's about one and a half castles tall. Exactly. So I see Nathan Fillion. I'm mildly aroused. And as the blood goes to my veins, it goes into the, you know, circulates in my head. I find, oh, Randy, Nathan Fillion.

And I also take ginkgo biloba. Oh, that's great. Now you have two things to remember. You have to remember Nathan Fillion and Randy. And Ginkgo Biloba. I'm constantly forgetting to take my Ginkgo Biloba. That is a real problem for me. When you think Ginkgo, you have to think Biloba.

That's a good point. Yeah. And neither of those are words. So you're just thinking of a nonsense word and then another nonsense word. But it's good to know that you're out there and you're hungry, Randy, because I think that if you stay hungry, I think that you can achieve a lot of this business, Randy. Oh, really? And we haven't known each other for a long time. But when Jordan said that we booked you on the show, I watched your set from Conan.

Oh, great. Jordan said that we booked you on the show. I watched your set from Conan. Oh, great. And I think between that and what I know about your hunger and the fact that you're not just going to go around and take food from out of anybody's regurgitation, I think you've got star quality. Thank you so much. That's great. You saw my Conan set.

You know what you remind me of? What? Nathan Fillion. Yeah. I'm just happy that I didn't wear the same shirt that i wore on conan very few shirts it's like oh there's that guy he wears he's like bart simpson he wears the same thing every day you do have kind of a scampish quality to you yeah so i like the great I like that how austere nudes is. That internet speak is usually so crass. Totally, yeah.

The fact that it's not like, you know, send me those titties. Yeah. Or hashtag them titties. Yeah, let's see that dong. It's send nudes. Yeah, it's very. Like it's almost like a Botticelli or something. It's send nudes. Yeah, it's very... It's almost like a Botticelli or something like that. Send nudes.

Yeah, it sounds like a drawing test advertisement in the back of a Rolling Stone magazine in 1974. Right, send us a nude pirate. Send nudes today. Yeah. We will evaluate your ability. You could become a commercial artist. If your nudes are nude enough. Yeah. Yeah. We will evaluate your ability. You could become a commercial artist. If your nudes are nude enough.

Yeah. Yeah. I didn't send any nudes. I didn't always send nudes day. You should pay attention more. Yeah.

To the Twitter trending topics. What are you? Not a producer on the Today Show who's in charge of calendaring things? No.

Sorry. I mean, again, bad with calendars. Yeah. Very bad with calendars. Probably, very bad with calendars. Probably not a great job for you. Probably not the best invite onto our show given how many calendar enthusiasts listen to our program.

Well, I'm sorry. His poop noises are great. Okay. I know. That was supposed to be on the ASMR show. Oh, boy. Well, now I'm confused. You're hungry.

Do you have food plans for after this? Do you want to talk it out with us? Oh, maybe. I don't know. I don't have any specific food plans, no. Do you have food plans for after this? Do you want to talk it out with us? Oh, maybe. I don't know. I don't have any specific food plans, no. I figured I would get done with this and then go eat. Yeah, for sure. How do you feel about Korean chicken wings?

I like Korean chicken wings. How do you feel about Korean chicken balls? Wait, what are those? It's like a Korean chicken wing, but it's a ball and it's dope. Oh, okay. That sounds good. Actually, I used to – so there was a period of time where I wasn't doing much, sitting around a lot, and I was like driving to Koreatown and getting chicken wings like every day. And I was like this is –

Sounds like a sweet-ass life. Oh, it was so good. But then I started feeling really ill. Yeah. And I was like maybe I'm just eating terribly. And I started getting a pain in my stomach. And I was like, man, something is wrong. And for like a week, I was very uncomfortable.

And so I started to, I was like, I'm just going to drink juice. You know, I'll fix it the L.A. style. Sure. So I started just drinking juice. If I did eat something, it was just like, you know, grilled vegetables, something very clean. And after like a week of doing that, I was like, I still feel terrible. I have a pain in my stomach. I guess I don't know what's wrong with me.

I'll go to the doctor tomorrow. But tonight there was a pork eating event that I wanted to go to. Someone had given me a free ticket. A pork eating event? Yeah, yeah. What are the details of this? Where was it? Welcome to the annual convocation.

I forget exactly what it's called, but it happens every year. And they start with multiple cities. And what they do is they take five chefs and they give each chef a different heritage breed pig. And then they have to create a handful of dishes from this pig. And then it's like a tasting menu event. Like you show up and you just go to each table and you eat a bunch of stuff and you vote who the best person is in L.A. And then they move on to the national one. I would prefer this event if instead of giving a different heritage breed pig to each chef, they have the same heritage breed pig and the chefs have to fight over it.

Yeah. So it's half fighting, half cooking. Yeah. And it's like sword based because then you can cut up the pig that way. That would be great. Yeah, that's what's up. Sure, I think they've kind of given the toot of the celebrity chef these days. Celebrity chefs

are full of toot. They got tattoo sleeves. Of like carrots. Yeah, they don't take no shit. Razzmatazz. Sure. Of like carrots. Yeah. They don't take no shit. So great. Yeah. Razzmatazz. Sure. Big old beards.

I bet these guys, it would be very on brand for them to sword fight. Yeah. Can I tell you something about my big beard? Mm-hmm. Randy, you've got a carefully trimmed beard. Yeah. I have a somewhat unkempt beard. Uh-huh. I was filling up my car at the old service station.

Sure. Earlier today, you know, down by the holler. That's near the crick, right? Yeah, you got it. And this homeless guy locks eyes on me, and I'm like, oh, I'm in for it. Now, of course, I'm a big-hearted man. I've got nothing but love for the homeless. But, you know, I'm also from inner city San Francisco, and it was always just bred into me to never help anyone, basically. And this guy sees me from probably 25, 30 feet away, and he locks eyes on me, and he says, hey, man. And I'm like, hi. And he goes, like feet away. And he locks eyes on me and he says, hey, man. And I'm like, hi.

And he goes, like that beard. And I'm like, thank you. And he says, you know who that reminds me of? And I'm like, no. And he says, who's that man off the television? Hmm. And just waits for me to answer. Yeah.

Pierce Brosnan. Yeah. I said, I don't know. And he goes, yeah. Sting. That man off the television. You know, Sting. Yeah.

Famous television personality, Sting. Does Sting have a beard these days? Gave him $2. Okay. I don't know. I don't know what the fuck Sting have a beard these days? Gave him $2. Okay. I don't know. I don't know what the fuck Sting looks like now. I bet Sting is just a ball of energy. Like he's transcended his mortal form.

Right. He's fucked his way out of his body. Right. And now he's just kind of a ball of light. Would you say that his... That flies around playing the lute and pleasing women. Do you think his soul, glow, energy, no pun intended, came out of his urethra? Yeah, or butt.

I don't know what Sting's into. Presumably he's into both, so pick one, Jordan. Yeah, I think a little bit came out of each and they met in the middle. There were two strands. And may the circle be unbroken. Yeah. One was bright white and the other was black as midnight. Uh-huh.

The white one shot out of his wiener. Uh-huh. The black one shot out of his butt. Okay. They did a beautiful minuet around his body. Sounds good. And they met in the air above his head. Right.

They made a yin-yang. They made a yin-yang. His body crumpled to the floor, was immediately burned. Yeah. And now that yin-yang is just traveling around, playing the lute and pleasing women. is just traveling around playing the lute and pleasing women. Do you think Sting plays

the Red Witch on Game of Thrones? I don't think so. I think that's Sting. No, I don't think that's Sting. Sting doesn't have a body anymore. But do you remember when she had that pussy demon that came out of her box?

Yes, I remember the pussy demon. And it killed somebody or something? I have a gif of that. That's my porno. Got it. You know that's my porno. Got it. My porno is just Sting's dead, lifeless body being burned immediately upon his pure energy being released from its corporeal form.

What's your porno, Randy? I like interracial porno. Oh, cool. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

Oh, hey, what's up? It's Randy Lidke. I'm big tall guy. Yeah, it's true. He is. He is big tall guy. Hey, we got something up on the Jumbotron, Jordan. It's for Joshua Landis from Amanda and Katie.

The message is as follows. Happy birthday, Josh. Lots of love from your wonderful fiance and your fabulous big sis. Hope your day is the best. They teamed up on him. Yeah. They double teamed him. I will say when I first glanced at this ad,

we're looking at it on smartphones. We are. We get these via email. I thought it said, lots of love from your wonderful fiance and her fabulous big ass. That does sound like a great fiance. From your fabulous big sis. Yeah, I mean, if you're gonna

marry somebody, might as well have a big ol' ass. Yeah. I don't know the size of your fiance's buttocks. No, it's mid-sized, but the sister. Oh, yeah. Quite a dumper. You just see the turd cutter on sis.

It's just a nice someone gave us a hundred dollars to share a nice birthday message with a kind young gentleman named Joshua. Yeah.

Just poor Joshua. He spent the last four years traveling the country, digging holes and planting apple seeds. You're thinking of Johnny Appleseed. This is some guy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That is a classic tall tale. It's a great American folk story about Joshua Landis who traveled the country.

Looking for a big old ass. Digging holes and texting them titties. Yeah. Oh, jeez. I want to apologize on behalf of Jordan to Amanda and Katie. It's reasonable. want to apologize on behalf of Jordan to Amanda and Katie. It's reasonable. Just

know that we're probably going to use your $100 for something moral. Yeah. Like a Bible. Yeah, or $100 Bibles. He probably got his Bible for a dollar, right? Maybe there's a VR Bible. Oh, God, that would be awesome.

Immerse yourself in the word. Even if it was just Google Cardboard, I'd still be pretty into that. Even if it was just one of those 360 degrees. Really get into the word. Yeah. Okay, I want to mention a couple of things real quick. Number one, MaxFunCon East. Tickets on sale right now at MaxFunCon.com.

We do not announce the lineup until the show is there, but if you're a Jordan Jesse Goh listener, you won't be disappointed. I'm willing to say that. I think that's a reasonable tease. We got a lot of amazing people coming to Max Fun Con East. It's going to be a real blast. Also, you may know that I'm also the second banana on the Judge John Hodgman podcast. And we are going on tour in September. We will be up and down the eastern seaboard and in London, England at the London Podcast Festival where we'll also be doing an episode of Bullseye. So you can find all of those dates at MaximumFun.org.

And you should get yourself some tickets to all of those things. And Jordan, Father's Day is coming up. Sure. I think there's only one real place to buy a gift for your father this Father's Day and that's at the gift card counter at Outback Steakhouse.

But if you don't have access to an Outback Steakhouse, let's say all you have is Chili's 2, the airport Chili's. You live in an airport. I would recommend. One of those airport kids. Jumping over to PutThisOnShop.com where we have lots of beautiful things that I've hand-selected my very own self. vintage items, vintage clothing, scarves, pocket squares,

lots of beautiful things no matter what kind of guy that dad in your life is. And you can use the code FULLCHORT and get free shipping. That's it. Okay. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, hey, it's me, Randy Lidke. Whatever. You're not that tall, Randy. What are you, a six-footer, six-two? I'm six. Here's the deal, guys.

I'm six-five, technically. I'm a bit of a slouch. Oh, okay. I'll admit it. Maybe if you stood up a little straighter, you'd be the old 69. This world has built for people who are shorter, so I've conformed. You're slouching to everyone else's level. Yeah, my Corolla makes me that way.

Randy, can I suggest something to you? I'd like you to check out a book called How to Win Friends and Influence People. It's by an amazing man named Dale Carnegie. Here's something about me that you need to know is I can't read. Really? Do you just bluff your way through reading situations? Yeah. I just, you know.

Wait. Oh, sorry. No, that's it. Okay. You go. I was going to ask you, is there more to that pork contest story? What happened? You were going to the doctor.

Oh, yes. To see what was the matter with your stomach, but instead you went to a pork contest? I had to get my appendix out. That's what they had to start with. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had my appendix out recently. Really?

Yeah. Yeah. Mine was very like atypical. The pain was in a different spot and like I was, spent all day at the hospital and then they finally were like, yeah, we're going to take your appendix out, but we're not completely sure that's what it is. Like basically like three different layers of, all right, you're going into surgery and then some doctor would come out and be like, listen, you don't have to do this if you don't

want to. Like maybe you should just hang out for a day. That's what it was like when I had my appendix out. I was there for like 24 hours. Yeah. Well, they didn't. Just hang out for a day. Go to a shrimp contest.

I don't know. Yeah. Then go to a gout contest. Yeah. Yeah. Then go to a gout contest. When you got your appendix out, do you feel like all your insides are all different and you're kind of confused by it? Afterwards?

No, not really. They must have messed up my appendix. My appendix removal. Appendectomy is the word I was looking for. Yeah, that's the one. I feel like my entire insides are different. Really? Yeah. My main issue was, so they did like a laparoscopic, you know, little tiny hole.

They stick a camera inside of you. Right up through your butthole. Yeah. Yeah. Doctor sticks his dick in your butt and like, you know. You got a camera glued on there. Was this at a hospital or? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. No, it's hospital back in the central Oregon where I'm from. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, no, it's a hospital back in Central Oregon where I'm from. Okay. Yeah.

But one of the scars was, like, right on where, like, my jeans hit. And it took forever to heal. I thought, like, and there was, like, a little bit of calcified blood. Like, it felt like there was a bump in there. And I had, like, meetings and stand-up shows after that. And I was, like, having a really hard time wearing, like, official pants. So you just wore tokens. Yeah, yeah. I would, like, wear shorts. And then, like, right before I would go on stage, I wearing like official pants. And it was- So you just wore tokens. Yeah, yeah.

I would like wear shorts. And then like right before I would go on stage, I would change into pants and it would like really hurt. I mean, that is a great opportunity to go caftan. Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying you have to go caftan, but if you're going to go caftan, that's the time to do it. Say, I can't have anything chafing. I got to go caftan.

Just any kind of resort wear. Do you ever feel jealous of somebody that's wearing a caftan? I will be honest. I can't quite picture a caftan. I think when I am picturing a – when you say caftan, I am picturing something that – An afghan? Yeah, I'm picturing a kind of dog.

Yeah. I like it. I'm picturing like a 50-year-old woman at like a Mexican resort and she's got a drapey dress on and she's having a marg by the pool. You're not that far off. It's like the thing with a head hole in a front and a back and they're connected on the sides. It's like a classic type of garment that is worn in many cultures, especially where it's hot. I don't think it's always called a caftan. I think caftan must be culturally specific.

It's a men's long belted tunic worn in countries of the Near East. Or a woman's long loose dress. So here's some caftans. I'm going to show you some pictures of caftans. Yeah, let's just, Jesse did a Google image search for caftan. Okay, this is basically what I was picturing. Okay, so. Randy, do you want to look at these pictures of caftans?

Sure. Sure. Do you ever. Whoa, stop masturbating. Oh, yes. Do you ever see somebody. Nah, go ahead. Continue masturbating.

I'm sorry I judged you. Okay. Do you ever see somebody in a traditional garment and you think to yourself, like, man, I could get into wearing that. We've got a kilt guy at work now. Yeah. Really? I know his big beard.

Yeah. He keeps talking to me about my beard. And he's like, oh, we got a – I had like sunglasses on. He's like, oh, put sunglasses on me. We look the same. I'm like, easy, buddy. I'm not wearing a kilt. I'm not wearing a kilt.

Wow. What kind of guy is this kilt guy? I presume he's a highlander yeah yeah he's got a big giant beard like that there can be only one kilt guy who works at everybody's work uh yeah i mean i think there can be only one until a rule is made right you got to get unions involved you got to get the kilt guy union involved uh but yeah he's just kind of like a beard guy. He always wears a kilt and a nerd shirt. I think today's nerd shirt was, oh boy, something about how good his hugs are.

Something, something, I'm good at hugs. Or something, something, got to get those hugs. I said something about a situation similar to this on Judge John Hodgman once. And I learned an important lesson, which is I should never say what I think about a situation like that publicly. Yeah. And to a mass audience. Sure. And I think that the kilt guy, I mean, I think it's a lifestyle.

I think you do it because you're passionate about it. I'm maybe told that if you're a bigger guy, which I think this particular kilt guy is, that it has – there are certain advantages, certain big guy advantages that maybe a non-big guy wouldn't know about. Like a medium or a small guy? Yeah. I like how politically correct you're being about that. I think he might be a big guy. He might be a big guy. He might be.

He might be. Classic PC police bullshit from Jordan over there. Sorry, guys. You gotta cover the bases. Yeah, I'm just concerned about WOCs and kilt guys. These are the two groups that I think need my support. So every day he has a kilt on every day? I think so. I've seen him just a couple days, yeah. Does he wear Dr. Martens? It's one of my favorite

early Elvis Costello songs. Every day I wear the kilt. Does he wear, like, Doc Martens with a lot of lace holes or does he wear sandals with socks or does he wear toe shoes? I have not taken note of his footwear.

You're always looking at the kilt. Yeah. Yeah. Your eyes are drawn to the kilt. Because you're hoping his dicks can come out.

God, man. When? Let me see that donger. Drop something already. Let me see that big guy dong. Yeah. Gotta check out

that big guy dong. Drop it. Yeah. Anyway. On the topic of work. Yeah. I wanted to relate a couple of stories.

Oh, wow. Are you having trouble at work? No. Here's what's happening. Are you having trouble fitting in, Jordan? Yeah. Nobody likes me. Randy, just so you know, Jordan is a comedy writer.

Okay. He writes on a television show. You probably haven't seen it, but it's really a lot of fun. Yeah. you probably haven't seen it, but it's really a lot of fun. Yeah. And Jordan has a lot of coworkers who, I'm not going to say they're like jocks, but they're sort of alphas.

Oh, okay. Sure. And Jordan has a tough time. He just has a tough, he's kind of what I call a shy guy. Oh. So sometimes he has a hard – he's kind of what I call a shy guy. Oh. Yeah. So sometimes he has a hard time connecting with them, especially if they're – Yeah. If they're throwing around the pigskin or –

Exactly. Talking about their sexual conquests. Yeah, yeah. Or like, catch the football and say something about pussy. That is exactly how they are. Yes, work. I know it. Yeah.

Like if somebody like brings in a fish they caught. Yes, work. I know it. Yeah. Like if somebody brings in a fish they caught and talks about its pussy. Yeah. There's still – yeah, yeah. Next day bringing in a fish. That's very popular. Got this yesterday. Don't know what I'm going to do with it. Yeah, still got the vest on.

Something probably. Hey, man. Filet that shit. I guess Randy and I, we're kind of co-workers. You are. We definitely are. You were sort of a At Midnight special projects man. I don't know how to describe what you do there.

I can't even describe it either. Is that like demolitions or hacker? Technically, I'm an associate producer. But that's like a bullshit title they give people to make them shut up. I definitely – I have – most of my show business career has been in like super deep cable and the internet. So I have been an associate producer a lot. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that is the – yeah, that is the – we don't know what to call you.

Also, maybe we don't want to give you health insurance. I don't know if you get health insurance. No, no. Yeah. We don't know what to call you. Also, maybe we don't want to give you health insurance. I don't know if you get health insurance. No, no. Yeah. At first we were like consultants and then now – I don't know. Yeah, we're just creating some content for the show that's not necessarily for the TV show day to day but it's some long-term stuff. Ancillary things.

Yes, definitely. Content. Yeah. You know, that thing that everyone loves. It's a weird job. It was created for a friend and I. So, like, it's very specific. You can use industry lingo here.

Just say it. Oh, okay. Webisodes. No, that's the thing. My friend Brendan Walsh and I have created a lot of kind of pranky is a word to use, but sometimes the wrong word, but kind of social media pranky kind of long con content. And on our own, just for fun, spent our own money, created some weird stuff. So now people have started hiring us to try their hand at that world. And it's very fleeting.

It's very, you know, it's hard to really. But they're like, you're the guys to do it. And we're like, yep, we are. We'll see. Can you tell us about some of the successful long cons that you've done to get these sorts of jobs? Yeah. Well, see, I did two things that got me a lot of attention. I did – I created a Twitter account for Pace Picante Salsa years ago and I ran it for six months as if it were the real account.

And then eventually... So wait, so what was it when you were just tweeting in earnest? Yeah. What were some of the Pace Picante tweets that you would do? I would tweet recipe suggestions. I would run fake contests. I would retweet people saying nice things about Pace. I would address issues that people had with Pace. I bought a bunch of fake followers for it. So I ran it as if it were real. And this is back when, like, you know,

there were a lot of real accounts that weren't verified yet because, like, why would you follow Pace Picante on Salsa, or on Salsa, on Twitter? I mean, if you're on Salsa.com, that's where you want to be following. Pace is one of the first, yeah, that's one of the first places you go.

So then eventually I got kind of bored with it. My goal was just to have some people in an office building for a whole day being like, who is running this account? And like after a day of asking everyone in the office, them having to reach out to me and be like, please stop even though you're doing a decent job. So you were not doing anything gross or weird with it. No. You were just pretending like – Yeah, yeah. And I had a few other corporate accounts that eventually got shut down.

But that one lasted the longest. And then eventually a comedian, Kyle Kinane, who's a friend of mine, he tweeted something negative about Pace Baconte. And I was feeling kind of like brave and bored with the account. So I faved that tweet. And then he screen grabbed, hey, Pace Baconte just faved this negative tweet. He screen grabbed it, tweeted that. I faved that tweet. Hey, Pace Picante just faved this negative tweet.

He screen grabbed it, tweeted that. I faved that tweet. And then it started this whole thing where he would just say all these negative things and I would fave each one as if a robot were running the account at Pace Picante. And then it turned into an all-day back and forth through direct messages. And it turned into like a national news story where it's like PR implosion. And you'd have to look it up because it would take a really long time to explain it. But that got a bunch of attention. And then a week later, I did this thing where I made these cookies that looked like iPhones and drove around and acted like I was talking into them and tried to get pulled over.

That way I could be like, oh, it's just a cookie. And that turned into a national news story. So within like eight days of each other, these two things that I just happened to do for fun. So wait, did you get pulled over? Yeah, yeah. And that's something you have to look up too because it's kind of a long story. But yeah, it turned into this really big thing. Like the next day I was at work and I was getting phone calls from like Good Morning America, ABC Nightline News. I went in to do an interview at Inside Edition.

They canceled at the last minute. And I made them feel bad because I skipped work that day. So they wrote me a check for $100. Hey. Pretty good. They talked about me on The Real Story with Gretchen Carlson on Fox News. Whoa. Lou Dobbs said I was beyond counsel.

Wow. For the iPhone thing or the pace thing? Legal counsel, psychological counsel. Legal counsel. For the cookie thing. The cookie thing kind of blew up. Luke Dobbs just goes, all people have a right to a fair defense, but not this man. Throw him in the gulag.

So those two things led to a lot of attention. And then my friend Brendan Walsh had been doing things like he put a big sign up on. There was a big empty Circuit City and he put a big sign on it. It says, coming soon, Whole Foods. And made a whole neighborhood think Whole Foods was coming there. And jumps up on billboards and like adds himself to the cast of Top Chef. And we added a text message. There was a Metro PCS commercial where it had a big cell phone on a billboard. and we added text messages inside of it that said, like, hey, last night your mom died.

What? Yeah. And then people would just be like, why would they put that? So just weird social things. And then we ended up getting hired by Adult Swim for a big chunk of a year, just creating, you know, we created this weird calendar, which is funny, I'm bad with months, and different products and things like that. Now we're at midnight trying to do some of the same stuff. So, the thing I wanted to talk about is when-

Let's do it. When you're playing football. When you're playing football, and you're like, when can I score this final touchdown? Yes. Toss me that fish. So I can get in that pussy. Yeah. Let me get at that bass.

Yeah. In that bass pussy. Like when work kind of invades your brain in a weird way. Like the other night I had a dream that I was reading a newspaper and I was reading a story about how- Now, this isn't unusual because you're a news hand. I love it. I love news, info, opinion, comics, sports, arts, and leisure. Yeah.

And of course, JCPenney underwear. Gotta love those fine ladies. Yes. JCPenney und underwear ad. Gotta love those fine ladies. Yes. JC Penney undies ad. I was reading a, in the dream, I'm reading a newspaper about how McDonald's

has a dating app and it's called Quarter Pounder with the E dropped. So like the, the spelling convention of Tinder and Grindr, but it's just called Quarter Pounder.

Oh, not Quarter Pounder. No, no, Quarter Pounder. But I think that was part of, you know, I think in the dream they thought that was kind of cheeky. Your fucking dream copywriting is pretty solid. Yeah, I know. That's a pretty solid idea. But then I woke up and I realized, oh, I'm just dreaming at midnight premises. Totally.

Like it's just something that exists purely to have three little jokes made about it. Yeah. I'll dream like stand-up jokes that I'm like, man, I was really killing in my dream. And then when I really break down the joke when I'm awake, it's like, that is not a joke. Like, you can't. Yeah. You can't pull that off. Everybody, you got to get a blimp.

But I don't know how. Wow. I like that guy. That guy's great. I'm as hungry as a goat. That's it. Every day, but not today. What?

That's it. Every day, but not today. What? Yeah, I can't imagine what you go through because it is very – the premise is you have to come up with it at midnight, very repetitive. Sure. And could be a little bit nuts. Yeah, and you just go into work each day praying that McDonald's will have started a dating app called Quarter Pounder And there will be a huge chunk of fun jokes to make about it. So, yeah, I guess I was just like, oh, what would make my day at work really easy if McDonald's would do this? One step ahead.

Anyway, Jesse, have you ever had like, do you have like work dreams? I had a dream last night, actually, that I was fucking the shit out of Marion McPartland's ghost. Oh, sure. The ghost of the late Marion McPartland. I probably shouldn't say that. Did she have to submit to you sexually because your show is more popular than hers?

I guess she probably would want to. We literally, in the office the other day, I was upset, as I usually am, about how few public radio stations carry my show. And Colin, our senior producer, said, oh, but we do have more stations than Marion McPartland's Piano Jazz because he had just gotten the ratings report. And I explained to him that Marion McPartland died a few years ago. And it really took the air out of that achievement. So you are beating reruns of a show from a deceased woman. And I'm getting thoroughly thwomped by reruns of

Car Talk, which is also the show of a deceased person. Is her show just her playing jazz piano? No, it's a really lovely show, actually. She was a very gifted jazz piano player, a well-known jazz piano

player, and she would do interviews with other jazz piano players and she would do interviews with other jazz piano players and then they would play and also they would play together it was a really lovely show and I'm sure she was a very lovely woman quite old by the time she passed

she had a full life and I never actually fucked her congratulations on destroying her in death really trouncing her memory. Like really kind of taking a shit on her beautiful grave. That's, yes, exactly.

Thank you. That's, you're, you're better with words than I am. Yeah, well, you know, that's why,

that's why they gave me the least successful national public radio show in America. Um, I had another instance of like, oh, work is too in my brain. Like I'm having trouble getting it out of my brain i uh uh this is maybe like last year like a year and a half ago i was i went with some buddies to it to a music festival an outdoor music festival uh and we uh this was we we

drove we did a little road trip up to San Francisco, and we realized, hey, unlike other vacations that you take, our weed cards work here. Oh, yeah. So it's within the state. Right. Got these sweet weed cards. So before we go to this show, I'm going to stop and get some dank, a little dank. What did you get, Nugs? Well, we went to this place called the Apothecaria.

And this is a place unlike any weed place I have ever been to. They have chandeliers. Oh, man. They're guys. They're weed guys. Is that a drug term or are you talking about chandeliers? I don't smoke weed. Oh, yeah.

No, no. This is like a fancy ceiling light that a rich man has. Okay. And all their, you know, usually the person, I mean, the weed shops I'm familiar with, it's usually a weed bro. Yeah. Or like a babe. Mm-hmm. Like a stony babe.

Like a guy who could be in Cypress Hill. Yeah. Or a lady who would be like the centerfold in a High Times magazine. Yeah. These are, yeah. These are, yeah. That's a good description of the types of people. But these were all little bow tie fellas.

Ooh. They had little bow ties, little suspenders. Did they have sleeve garters at all? I did not notice sleeve garters, but they were definitely the weed versions of the craft cocktail guy who muddles and will fire the little orange peel for you. You can tell because of how clear the giant ice cube they gave you was. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah.

And then I look on the bill. There's an ice cube charge? Anyway, but then you're like, you know what? I kind of liked that ice cube. So we got these little gummies, these little circular gummies. We thought that would be a nice way to – this was pre-vape. Okay. The vape did not exist, which would maybe be the easiest way to smoke in an outdoor concert.

Little gummies. It's maybe like my third time ever eating any kind of pot food. They call these edibles. Edibles. I call them gummies. Okay. Whether it's a brownie or a... It's how you eat it.

I just call it a gummy. Yeah, I use my gums. I try not to get any tooth on it. Like Haribo gummies. I just smash them against my gums with my tongue. And I had half this gummy. Right. And by three o'clock, I felt like i was in a three in the

afternoon i was so fucked up i thought i was in a giant pill oh like maureen dowd does she fit in a giant pill uh she is a giant pill she invade against the she wrote a column invading against the legalization of marijuana because uh she had tried some legal marijuana or medical marijuana and she'd eaten an edible and freaked out. Yeah. And so she said it was bad for everyone. I was straight doubting. I was having a real doubt trip. Were you feeling kind of dowdy?

A little dowdy. And I was having this notion that I was so fucked up and that someone there was probably filming me. And then I have to go to work on Monday and make fun of the video of myself fucked up at this concert. And it would be titled something like concert asshole can't handle his shit. And then I would have to goof on myself. Yeah. Two days later. Anyway, I got to find a way to leave it behind.

That's with every every it behind, guys. That's with every field, though. It was just for two weeks, even. I worked a Christmas break. When I'd go back during college, I would work for UPS. And as a driver helper, I would sit.

They have a little chair on the side that you can't see. It flips down. And then you would just run packages up to the doors. Like during the busy season. Yeah doors and there's so many. Like during the busy season. Yeah, there's just so many Christmas packages. And where I'm from in Oregon, it snows. So it was

just like, it had taken over my brain this job. So at night I would dream about stepping on a frozen puddle and slipping. That's the stuff I had to deal with at work every day. So I'd be woken up, jarred awake, thinking I was slipping, trying to run a package. Yeah, the night slips.

Yeah. And then, like, in the morning, because also you had to put your seatbelt on and off every stop, even though it was just, like, a couple feet. Yeah. And so I would, like, be eating my breakfast cereal, and before I would stand up, I would reach to unbuckle my seatbelt. I'd be like, no! Oh, yeah. It was taking over my life. In a day, you probably unbuckle and buckle, how many times?

300 times? Yeah, I became very good at it. Wow. Yeah. I don't like your braggy tone. They were considering having a Vegas show about it. I'm the braggart. I'm the braggart here.

Yeah, okay. So what, wait, hold on. So what was the Vegas show going to be? It was five bucklers, and we would buckle to Rat Pack tunes. Oh, Fly Me to the Moon. Yeah, yeah. But then halfway through, it would go, and then it would turn into house music, and then there'd be bottle service. Oh, wow. Because that's the New Vegas.

It was old Vegas transitioning to New Vegas via bucklers. So really, at the end of the day, you're a storyteller. Yes. You're telling the story of Vegas through rhythmic seat. That's what I would call it. But the casino owners, it's all about the dollar. So, yeah, right. Yeah, sure.

And the dollar is the dollar is bottle service and house music. Do you want to hear do you want to know what the soundtrack is? If the casino owners have their way? Yeah, yeah. Cha-ching. Yeah. That's right. Those guys are all about the time.

The sound of a cash register. You got it. Totally. I was just in Vegas. I just went there for a day to have fun. How'd that go? It was pretty fun, man. I've never done Vegas for only a day.

I have done like like two days and i think that's perfect any longer than that yeah two is about the max this time one was pretty good it was like got there you know i'm trying to think what time i probably got there by two or three had to leave by 11 a.m it's perfect that's pretty good too much driving for that amount of time but still was good what are you what are you do you – when you're due in Vegas for only a scant amount of time, what are you cramming in there? Well, I have a friend who has a show in Vegas. It's a show called – Her name is Judy Tanuta.

Yes. No, it's a show called Absinthe at Caesar's Palace. This sounds like a fancy weed store. Yeah, I know. It's a show with like circus acts and burlesque. And then my friend is this character that hosts it. I think he's a circ clown technically, but he's super funny. And he just kind of distracts people and gets them disarmed.

And then they see these crazy circus acts. And it's in a tent or what's made to believe a tent. Kind of a false tent. Yeah. I think at first it was a tent. And then legally they had to build a structure because it's been going on for like six or seven years. Okay.

And now, this is my fourth time seeing it. So if I'm ever in Vegas, maybe once a year, I'll call them up and I'll be like, yeah, I want to see your show again. It's super fun. It's worth it. It's a really good show. Okay, we get it.

I'm sorry. For fuck's sake. I'm sponsored by Absinthe. You have to mention it on all podcasts. This is the first time I'd seen it where – so him and his – I don't know if it's his girlfriend or his wife, but she is his sidekick in the show. And they're these extreme characters and they have stand-ins for them because they've been doing it for so long that they're like, yeah, I'm taking the month off. This is a lot of work doing the same thing twice a week or twice a night, Tuesday through Sunday for seven years.

And so it was the first time I saw it where it was people pretending to be them. Oh. And they had their voices down almost. I was blown away. They didn't look exactly like them, but their voices sounded exactly like them. So it's funny they had to have stand-ins for original characters?

Mm-hmm. Oh. Because they're characters created by these people. Like, the casino didn't create these characters. They were characters they were doing before. So, Randy, I don't know a lot about your lifestyle. Mm-hmm. I know you're a funny man.

I'm bi. Oh, okay. I know you're a funny bi man. Thank you. Who I work with. And it's nice and fun to see it work. Mm'm bi. Oh, okay. I know you're a funny bi man. Thank you. Who I work with. Yes. And it's nice and fun to see it work. Mm-hmm. Two questions.

Got it. Are you a drinker? And two, how do you, because the point of going to Vegas if you're a drinker is getting fucked up. Yeah. How do you effectively drink when you have to get in the car in 10 hours or something? I do drink. I'd say I used to only drink maybe once or twice a week.

Lately it's been a little bit more. I went through a breakup. I moved. I got my own place. I live closer to a friend of mine. You have a drinking problem. I have this full-blown drinking problem. What I did was I got there and –

You moved into the – we should mention you moved from your apartment in – I think it was like the Silver Lake area to the Cabo Wabo Cantina. Yeah, yeah. I have a bar back there and they let me sleep in the bar. I ate lunch when I got there and then I started just drinking. And by the time the show – the show was at 10 p.m. By the time the show was happening, I was ready to be done drinking. Okay. So I was like exhausted by the end of the show and went to bed.

So it was perfect. It's like I got to drink and have fun but I didn't stay up too late. When I was last there, it was a public radio event. And I was hanging out with Roman Mars from 99% Invisible, a good friend of mine, wonderful guy. And he's straight edge, as am I. So the two of us were just kind of wandering around. We went and had, you know, like $100 steaks. And we're like, well, sure.

Neither of us gamble-y. That's the other thing. Not gamblers, not drinkers. So just like, well, $100 steaks it is. That went great. Sure. Neither of us gambly. That's the other thing. Not gamblers, not drinkers. So just like, well, $100 stakes it is. That went great. Sure. But by far the highlight of the trip was spending like a happy hour with Glenn Washington from Snap Judgment. Snap Judgment public radio show. Glenn is the host of the show. He's a very lovely, lovely dude who grew up in some kind of weird farm cult in Michigan. He's a trip, Glenn Washington. Glenn Washington had one of those drinks like with the curly straw and the giant –

Oh, it's like a yard of something. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Glenn Washington, grown adult man. I mean Glenn Washington is 45 years old or something. But Glenn is a public radio host, professional storyteller, just drinking a drink that like should only be drunk by people who are wearing sunglasses that say what year it just became. Sure.

Yeah. Like a full on. And he was so fucking hammered. Yeah. Sure, yeah. Like a full on, and he was so fucking hammered. And it was the most amazing thing to be with. Because normally, like when you don't drink, you get used to people being super self-conscious about drinking in front of you. And you don't really care.

I mean, most people in the world drink. So you're pretty used to the idea of someone drinking in front of you. And so normally, like if it was two people that don't drink and one person that does drink first of all that never happens uh so that was exciting but uh also uh just glenn as he is on his show is so utterly without shame uh that he was just having a blast being fucking super hammered and chatting with two completely sober people. Oh, man. It was great fun.

I recommend in the future when you're in Las Vegas, you go to $100 Steaks with Roman Mars. You walk around the thing that's fake Paris with one of the hosts of Radiolab. I did it with Krulwich, but it'd be fun with Jad too. And then I recommend getting hammered with Glenn Washington, only Glenn Washington's hammered. Yeah, those drinks are pretty cool. Yeah. Those long things.

There's ones that you can strap to your neck because they're too heavy. Do you get to keep the crazy strong? I'm sure. Yeah, I can't imagine they want those back. You put strap them to your neck because they're too heavy. Do you get to keep the crazy straw? I'm sure. Yeah. I can't imagine they want those back. You put a deposit in them. That's filthy. Yeah.

$5 deposit on the crazy straw. Yeah. You get your license back when you bring this. I also don't like the thought that I have to drink out of a crazy straw that another Vegas person had or several other Vegas people had. Yeah. They sterilize them with lights. Yeah.

It's got to be like bowling shoes. Yeah. They sterilize them with lights. Yeah. It's gotta be like bowling shoes. Yeah. You gotta like give it a, give it a hearty spray down. I guess my concern would be that would be that guy from pond stars sharing a straw with me. Yeah. That's a chumly.

Yeah. Not ideal. We'll be back. Ideal. We'll be back in just a second. I'm Jordan. Jessica. My name is Jonathan Van Ness, and I host Getting Curious.

Getting Curious is a biweekly exploration of things that I really want to know about. What do you not know anything about? I know for me, there was too many things to even count. It could have been from Anastasia and the Romanovs, or it could be internet security. What's Bernie Sanders' deal? Sometimes I might have an in on an expert who I knew from a while ago, but then other times I end up in a studio with a total academic who is really smart, and I am smart in a different way, and we have to figure out how to make our languages meet together,

and that's why you gotta listen to Getting Curious. Come on in. Take a seat. You, me, and an expert will figure something out and it's gonna be really fun

and illuminating and we'll get a little smarter, I hope. You can find Getting Curious on iTunes or on MaximumFun.org. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne. I'm the voice of the millennial generation.

Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. I'm Randy Leakey. I'm running the cusp of being a millennial. Really? I just found that out, yeah. Are you 36 years old? 32.

You're a millennial. I know, but like I looked at it. You're squarely a millennial. 1983, like that's like the first year you can be a millennial that I thought.

1980. Really? I took two quizzes recently, two online quizzes. How millennial are you? Uh-huh. And which Harry Potter

house should you be in? Do you guys want to guess what I scored on each? I don't know anything about Harry Potter. I'm sorry. Harry's house? And then how millennial are you? I'd say what is it, a percentage? Percentage. Like 80%?

Okay. So I'm going to put you at 65% millennial and I'm going to say alpha house. Okay. 70% millennial. Oh. Gryffindor. Okay. I've heard that before.

Gryffindor is known for their bravery. Oh. Damn, girl. Yeah. Is that because of your cowardice, and it was sort of ironic? Yeah, yeah. It's like calling a fat guy tiny. Got it.

Like, hey, Gryffindor. Have fun being brave. I have not read the Harry Potter books, nor have I seen the Harry Potter movies. But I think when they say Gryffindor is known for its bravery, they're kind of selling you a bill of goods, Jordan. Oh, yeah? They're known for having uncircumcised penis. Oh. Well, I should definitely not be in Gryffindor. I got two of those bad boys. Circumcision, then I'm like, hey, go again. Hit her again, rabbi.

Oh, I thought you meant you had two uncircumcised penis. Oh, no. I just have the one penis, but it's been circumcised twice. Got it. Randy, tell us about your penis. Oh, it's a, it's a, I'd say it's about 80% millennial. It's a Hufflepuff. And it's a Hufflepuff. Hufflepuff.

Yeah, in the right circumstance. Well, when something momentous happens to you, like that second circumcision, we ask you to call us at 206-984-4FUN, that number 206-984-4FUN, for our beloved signature segment, Momentous Occasions Hi, this is Lisa in Emeryville. I just got back from a week-long meditation retreat, and this is the most I've spoken in a while. There were many momentous things that happened, but the one that I thought that you all would enjoy the most is so the retreat was led by Buddhist nuns with the shaved head and the robes and the whole deal.

And each day at lunch, we would offer food to them and that was their meal for the day. And they would put it in their special bowls and then chant a little thank you. And then one of them would, they would all look at their food and one of them would say a little something about the nature of impermanence and how the food is a reminder of that. And one of the nuns, who was the oldest of them, but mostly just observing the retreat, so we hadn't really heard her speak much yet, she, instead of giving a rote little invocation,

she ad-libbed, and I wish it was verbatim, but it was something to the effect of, I look at this food and it reminds me of the nature of impermanence. This food that is so beautiful and attractive now soon will not be once it has gone through the body. And then there was kind of a beat, and then everyone, including the other nuns, realized that she had just made a poop joke in the dining hall,

and it was amazing, and we all laughed. Thanks so much. Bye. Humor standards are low with the meditation retreat. But also, I don't know if I like her too. I mean standards are low with the meditation retreat. But, I mean, but also I don't know if I like her too. I mean, I personally think poop is beautiful. Really? Sometimes I think more beautiful than food.

Are you leading some kind of poop pride movement? Yeah. I mean, if we've got to call it that, yeah. The people united. If poop jokes kill at a meditation retreat, I would destroy. Maybe that's a new circuit you could start working. I'll have all sorts of sound. I can't talk, but I can still play a soundboard of farts.

That's the whole Emeryville deal. Yeah. At the meditation retreats, you get that nice Ikea there. Got a Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Yeah. So you've got the trifecta of perfect venues for your poop humor. Just get a little double tree in Emeryville. Yes.

Do a night at the Ikea, a night at the Buddhist Meditation Retreat. What's the other point of pride there? You mentioned a third thing. Bed Bath & Beyond? Bed Bath & Beyond. mentioned a third thing. Bed Bath & Beyond. Bed Bath & Beyond. You'll probably middle at Bed Bath & Beyond. Yeah. Probably can't head there.

They got some heavyweights there. Yeah. Earthquake. Ngayo Balaam is over at the Bed Bath & Beyond doing some of his pot jokes. Yeah. See, that's not my world. So you can have it. Yeah.

Have you guys ever been on a Buddhist retreat? Either of you? Yeah, see, that's not my world, so you can have it. Yeah. Have you guys ever been on a Buddhist retreat, either of you? We went to that Buddhist temple for RA training once. Did we? Maybe that was one of the years I was an RA but you were not. But I remember there being a don't kill bugs sign. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Well, a Buddhist monk lived at my house for a while. Okay. Did he kill bugs? I can't imagine he did. Yeah. He was a Lao monk. So there was also a no sex sign in addition to not killing bugs. It's like, come on, what's not really selling this monk? This is an R.A. retreat. Yeah, I know, right.

One of the primary college fuck fests. No, I don't think there was a lot. Yeah, I think you're jesting because of how dorky everyone was. The monk's name was Benito. My brother Brendan couldn't say that, so we called him Burrito. That's good. Disrespectful, but pretty funny.

And he was really into the Women's World Cup. Probably too into it. Yeah. I guess if you're a monk and your sexual titillations are limited, that's probably one of the main ones. I don't know how limited his titillations were, but I will say that I believe him to have been titillated by the Women's World Cup. I mean, they do have some lovely thighs.

How did this monk end up living in my house? I don't know. You're asking the wrong guy. I should really take this up with my dad. He just had a spare room and he's probably renting it out. No, we didn't have an extra room. Where did the monk sleep? I don't remember.

Atop of you? Yeah. My room? He might have. I couldn't tell you where this monk was sleeping. I'm thinking to this, I remember the house. There's two bedrooms in this house. One of them is my two brothers.

The other is my dad and my stepmother. I split time with my mom. When I was there, I slept in this room in the basement that slugs would come into. So I don't know where the fuck, where was,

where was fucking Burrito sleeping? Probably in your room when you were at your mom's house. Right. And then. He can't even kill the slugs,

the poor guy. And then, yeah, right? Can't have sex. Can't kill the slugs. Maybe monks can have sex in general, but we were not supposed to have sex on this retreat. Yeah. And then, yeah, I think Can't have sex. Can't kill the slugs. Maybe monks can have sex in general, but we were not supposed to have sex on this retreat. And then, yeah, I think probably when you were at your dad's house and needed to use the bed, he would just become a ball of energy.

Got it. He'll become a sting orb. Oh. Float around playing the lute and giving pleasure to women. A storb. Mm-hmm. Yeah, he would become a storb. A sting orb. So, yeah, I think we a storb. A sting orb.

So yeah, I think we solved this mystery. Great. Well, the great mystery of burrito is solved. Let's take one more call. Hello, Jordan, Jesse, Sonny B, and guests. This is Patrick from Pleasanton, California. I'm sitting in traffic, and I just looked in my rearview mirror and there's an unassuming small Ford car and in it are two people in full rodeo clown get up and they're having a very heated discussion, possibly an argument. Hopefully I'm not going to see confetti flying out the windows

from their confetti cannons. Love the show. Have a great one. Get them, get them, get them. Yeah, using our slogan for 2016 isn't going to cover up for your lame-ass punchline. Just describe the fight. You don't have to say confetti from the confetti fact. The whole

point of this is that you're... You're punching up this guy's moment of occasion? No, he doesn't need to punch it up. He just needs to describe the fight. Describe the makeup. Give me concrete details. Don't go on a quote-unquote comic flight of

fancy as you described it. Sure. I wouldn't describe it that way. I found it to be leaden. Wow. Yeah. Harsh criticism. Well, that's what Pleasanton gets. Anticipation was so high for this momentous occasion, but you

just swatted it down. I'll tell you another thing. With your analysis. I was going to tell him that Pleasanton was a great place to get pho. Then I remembered that Sunnyvale. Now you're like, get fucked. Yeah. You got it. Randy, you know.

That's why we're such good friends, Randy. Yeah. Hey, how do you call into this? This sounds really fun. I want to be destroyed by somebody. 206-9844-FUN is the number to call. Usually we have a really positive attitude. Yeah.

I would say if we take two calls in a show, one we're nice about and one we're just kind of mean to. Yeah. We try to pick on the dudes mostly. Yeah. You can't. If you only pick on the girls. Because they've had it for, yeah. Yeah.

They got male privilege. Well, if we don't pick on the girls, because then they would know that we like them. They would know that we like them. Yeah. That's how we show it. Jordan just hid his face behind a nose gay. Mm-hmm. Now I'm writing my future name in my notebook.

What's the name? What's the future name? Mrs. Sunnyvale. Jordan Morris hyphen retreat lady. Or Jordan retreat lady hyphen Morris. Or just Jordan retreat lady. I'll take her name. Yeah, get rid of it.

Because you know what? I'm a feminist and I'm an ally. You know what my notebook says? Ikea Bed Bath and Beyond. Oh, that's going to be you changing that to your full name? Changing my name to Ikea Bed Bath and Beyond. That's good. Bed Bath and Beyond is one word? Yeah, Bed Bath & Beyond. Oh, that's going to be you changing that to your full name? Changing my name to Ikea Bed Bath & Beyond. That's good. Bed Bath & Beyond is one word?

Yeah, Bed Bath & Beyond. Okay. Is that an ethnic name? Berry. Yeah, it's Thai. Oh, yeah. Originally. There's a little slash of the O that you're not sure what to do with.

Yeah. Well, it's in their letters. You can't even. It's hard to read. Hard to say. For me. What can I say? I got a's in their letters. You can't even – it's hard to read. Hard to say. For me. What can I say? I got a coupon in the mail.

Head down there and change your name, I guess. With it. Okay. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jessica. It's Jordan and Jessica. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Twitter.com. And, yep, that's it. And all that's you. Most of it. All the Trump stuff.

All the Kanye stuff. Yeah. Ghostbuster stuff. Ghostbuster stuff. Both pro and con. Mm-hmm. Yep. That's me, the Twitter guy.

But we love it all. We love this stuff. You know what? I love your work. I love social media. Thank you. MySpace, Snapchat, love your work. I love social media. Thank you. MySpace, Snapchat, Friendster, Grindr, Tumblr. Quarter Pounder.

I love all that stuff. Thank you. Can I give you a bit of advice, though? Yeah. Because I'm a bit of a tech geek. Okay, let's hear it. And I love helping people with their tech quandaries. Okay. So I know you've been working a lot on Twitter.

You're going to need a new machine. Yeah. Can I give you some advice? Yeah, yeah. You've got to get Adele. Got to get Adele? You've got to get Adele. Okay.

She's got such a beautiful voice. Yeah. Oh, Adele. Yeah, you've got to get Adele. Oh, Adele. Yeah, you got to get Adele. Oh, okay. And do something like make her sing one of her songs inside a car or with children's instruments. Yep, that's the way to the top. Or whatever.

Yep. It's my favorite genre of comedy. Yeah, just. It's my favorite genre of music. Yeah. Yeah. I like to listen to and laugh at the same thing, which is a celebrity singing a song I know in a little bit of an unusual situation. Not quite comedy, not quite music. In a somewhat different context.

And everybody just comes off real well. Love it, man. Love it when someone comes off well. World is good. Randy Licky, folks can enjoy you on your podcast. That's called The Bone Zone. That's true, yeah. What kind of stuff is going down on The Bone's called The Bone Zone that's true yeah what kind of stuff

is going down on The Bone Zone The Bone Zone is me and my friend Brendan Walsh good friends yeah we get it you're friends

with Brendan Walsh that's really cool that's not really a brag I think I'm cooler than he is but yeah it's just very silly we

I'm trying to think the last episode this coming episode we call Drew Carey on the phone talk to him about a cool story he's friends with

Joe Walsh he tells a cool Joe Walsh story other than that we usually call bra stores is it all is it all Walsh stuff

yeah all Walsh all the time Brendan Walsh is there stories about Joe Walsh Joe Walsh yeah Bill Walsh

the Hall of Fame NFL head coach. And Walsh's grape juice. Just love Walsh's grape juice. Not as good as Walsh's. More likely a common occurrence is we call a bra store and we go, they go, hi, bra store. I won't say the name of it.

Victoria's Secret probably. And they're like, can I help you? And we say, hi, what's the biggest bra you have? They tell us. Go on. And then we say, what's the biggest bra you've ever seen? And then they hang up on us. That's how it goes.

About 30 times in a row, that's how it'll go. It sounds like a really fun show. Yeah. It'll go differently if before they say anything, you say, please don't hang up. Okay, my doctor is here. And then they'll stay on for another minute. You say that there's a doctor present. Yeah.

Okay. So this is sort of like a premise-less Crank Yakkers without the puppets? I guess. I don't know. I mean, whatever. We found recently that if we don't want someone to hang up, because like every once in a while we'll do a prank call. It's not like a prank podcast. But we've started calling phone sex because they won't hang up.

Like they're getting paid. So we'll call. We'll call phone sex. That sounds like an expensive podcast. Yeah. It's cheaper than you'd think. It's not a very popular form of sex anymore. Yeah, but phone sex prices are at an all-time low.

They are. Not a lot of people are doing it. Now that OPEC's out of the picture. Yeah, right? But there's some, it's not all highbrow on this podcast. There's also some good old yucks, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Once in a while, you'll just rub your dick on The Economist.

Yeah. Yeah. We'll just, yeah, we'll tap our dicks on the microphone and do the whole thing in Morse code.

Sounds cool. Yeah. Sounds like kind of the same vibe as your short-lived seatbelt buckling show. Yeah. Yeah.

Very successful. Well, Randy, it's been a joy to have you on the program. Thank you so much for having me. I wish you so much luck with your special projects. Are we being sarcastic?

No, sincere. We all thank you so much, guys. No, really. I had a great time. Hey, Randy. Yeah? You were really great. Yeah, yeah.

So happy to be here. Super welcoming. Jesus Christ, Jordan's had a stroke. Help me. Do you smell toast? Do you smell toast? Yes, but it's in my pocket, so I'm not sure how to interpret this. I always keep toast in my pocket in case I have a stroke.

You never know. It's sort of like you can jettison it to balance things out. If I think I'm having a stroke, I just throw the toast far away and see if I can still smell it. Like a ballast situation. Jordan Morris, my co-host here. The great Brian Fernandez, Sonny D on the boards. You can hashtag it JJGo on Twitter if you want to go visit our friend Randy here.

Hashtag JJGo. You can follow – oh, can I mention a new Max Fun Show? Well, we got a great new Max Fun Show. Our friend Ben Harrison is the host of this show. Long time Max Funster. Directed many videos. A lot of folks might know him from Max Fun Con. It's called The Greatest Generation.

It's a discussion show about Star Trek The Next Generation hosted by two guys who maybe are a little uncomfortable with the fact that they have a podcast about Star Trek The Next Generation. Do you think the – I can't see that there will be any internet interest in this program. No. So far, there's been no interest in this. We simply threw this out there and folks out there – and I'm not going to say what demographic group I'm talking about, but I'm talking about jocks. Jocks said, I'm interested in this. I don't know how to use the internet. And then the internet users, people like real power users of the internet said, why would I be interested in Star Trek The Next Generation?

Oh, boy. So this is just for nobody. Yeah. I mean, it's sort of like how you see what a big failure like Patrick Stewart's been on Instagram and that kind of thing. Sure. People just aren't interested. It's basically literally- It's like he's goofing around with Ian McKellen in a void.

Literally the only listener to the show right now is Whoopi Goldberg. Just waiting for her season to get there. Yeah, they're just doing it for Whoopi. Do it for Whoopi. It's what it is. You know what I mean? It's what it is. Greatest Generation, New Max Fun Show. We're very proud of it. And thanks to all

the Jordan Jesse Go listeners who've been listening to the Beef and Dairy Network, our other new podcast. Both of those shows, big successes right out of the gate thanks to folks like you. So thanks, everybody. We're on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com. Our producer, Brian Sonny Fernandez, Sonny D. Fernandez. Join that Jordan Jesse Go.

Join that MaxFun group on Facebook and like Jordan Jesse Go on Facebook. And we will talk to you next time on Jordan Jesse Go. group on Facebook and like Jordan Jesse Go on Facebook. And we will talk to you next time on Jordan Jesse Go.