Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 435: Orange Crying with Alison Rosen and Jenna Kim Jones

Episode Date: July 4, 2016

Alison Rosen and Jenna Kim Jones join Jordan for a discussion of reality TV obsessions like The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Vanderpump Rules and Bar Rescue, Jordan's transformative trips to Las Vegas, and the joy of eating carbohydrates while you're pregnant.  Spoiler alert: Alison is pregnant! Also: GARABA shirts are on sale for a limited time!  Get 'em! Get 'em! Get 'em! http://bit.ly/GARABAThisShirt

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. Jesse Thorne, out and about this week, doing, I'm gonna say, God knows what? I don't know specifically what he's doing, but if I know him, and I do, it's God knows what. But luckily, I have two very, very exciting guests. I think if you looked at the podcast description, you would probably know who they are. But if for some reason you just blindly hit play without looking, this is a huge reveal.

A beloved returning guest and a first-timer, soon-, soon to become beloved returning guest, I'm sure, unless she totally fucks it up. Two beloved podcasters, Alison Rosen and Jenna Kemp-Jones. Hey, guys. Hello. I feel so beloved. Yes. And I feel like I'm on the cusp of being beloved. So I'm a little nervous now.

What are you in between like beloved and what? Despised. There's no middle ground. No one's neutral. Yeah, exactly. One or the other. By the end, people will decide whether they beloved her or despise her. I'm excited.

I'm not the competitive type. And I want this to go well for you. So I'm going to do everything I can to shove, like gently and in a friendly way, shove you over into beloved. Okay, good. So you don't tip over into despised. You never know. But yeah, hard to say. A lot can happen in these 90 podcast minutes.

You know, it's interesting because I think there are a fair amount of people out there who are like, if you don't love me, I hope you hate me. Sure. Whereas I'm like, if you don't love me, I'm okay if you just forget that you ever met me. Yeah. I'm okay with that too. Yeah. That's like, oh, sorry. Go ahead.

No, no. That's like every reality show slogan. Right. You either love me or hate me. There's no in between. So get out of here. You know, it's all it's all every housewife is that way. Yeah.

I would love to see a reality contestant who does that aside. You know, they're in their ball gown or their bikini or whatever and just is like, if you don't love me, I'm fine with you talking to me at a party for 10 minutes and thinking I was nice, but maybe forgetting what my last name was. The most important thing isn't strong opinions. It's being plight. Yeah. Never say that. I'm okay if we go to a movie together in a group situation. I'm fine being that to you.

I say what I mean unless what I mean is going to bother you, in which case I backpedal. what I mean unless what I mean is going to bother you in which case I backpedal are you guys fans of this sort of reality show where you do the to camera I'm a bad bitch and I don't take no shit type of monologue

they broke the mold well it's funny you say that because up until I don't know how many months ago but I would say less than six months ago I would have said no I had been a fan a many months ago, but I would say less than six months ago, I would have said no. I had been a fan a long time ago, but then I stopped. And then I don't know what happened, but somehow I got mesmerized by Vanderpump Rules. Oh.

I have likened it to – it's like watching a screensaver, like that fractal screensaver. Because my husband would ask me what's going on because he also got into it but he wanted to like have a sort of intellectual analytical discussion about their personality disorders and i'm like i don't know they're just tan people arguing and i find it very hypnotic um but then so that's a spinoff from real housewives orange yelling i think is the genre of tv orange people. Orange people yelling. Oh, that's very Trumpian. Very different than the Boehner orange crying. It's a very different genre. Right. Yeah.

So. Well, they're the comedy and tragedy match. Yeah, exactly. That's good. Of orange. Yeah, the orange yin and yang. Anyway. Right.

So wait. So I don't know. Okay. So here's what I know about Vanderpump Rules. I know that it is the setting or at least one of the settings for the hilariously named restaurant in West Hollywood in the gay district called Pump. Which when I first drove by made me laugh out loud because, oh, my God, that is so on the nose. Right. It really is. But it's also her last name. Right.

She's cheeky. That would be her own British description of herself. So I'm sure she knew that there was a double entendre. So another, apart from, and then would you call Pump a gay bar? Yes. Okay. Okay, look, the way Lisa Vanderpump describes it. Sure. Sir, no.

She has three restaurants. Villa Blanca is where you take your spouse. Sir is where you take your mistress. And Pump is where you take your boyfriend. So is where you take your mistress. And Pump is where you take your boyfriend. So, yes, I believe it is a gay bar. Who is this man that's going to all three of these things? What's his secret? It's very complicated.

This sounds like it's just for the dear departed Prince and David Bowie. Right. Men have, omnisexual men who can have anyone. Pansexual. Where are today's pansexual men? Yeah. Who is the, right, who is the I've transcended gender and sexuality figure of our day? I mean, I feel like the figure of 10 years ago could have been Marilyn Manson.

Sure. But we're kind of in a different cultural period now, I think. Right, we're post-MM. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's a less spooky culture. Lady, post-MM. Right, yeah. It's a less spooky culture. Lady Gaga is that man. It might be Lady Gaga.

Yeah, Lady Gaga. There's that other singer. He's really tiny. He performed at the Super Bowl a while ago. Bruno Mars? Yeah, he's kind of. I feel like he's kind of, maybe. Yeah.

A little bit. Yeah, I don't know. I guess I consider Bruno Mars too, like... Too tiny? I was going to guess too short. Yeah, the prince is okay. Four foot nine prince is fine with me. I guess I consider him a little too, and I don't mean this as a total slam, but a little

too middle of the road. Yeah, I feel like he's... There's no challenging or threatening sexuality about him. No. He's like a masketeer. He's a nice man who you would like to go to a movie with in a group situation. Right. Ooh, that should be your Real Housewives thing at the beginning.

I'm a nice man who you'd like to go to a movie with in a group situation. Yeah, I'm pleasant to talk to for about 20 minutes. Right. I'll remember things you told me the last time we had a conversation about not very much. I'll say your first name when we shake hands. I make eye contact. Yeah.

So I think it's close, but I do think Bruno Mars is a little too... Here's my thought. He was playing a lot in Vegas when I was there last weekend. We'll get to it. I know. Why are we there? Spoiler alert. I was there last weekend. We'll get to it. I know. Why were you there? Spoiler alert. I'm a changed man. But I do want to talk about Pump for a hot second more. Okay. So there's a British woman. Yes. She's cheeky. Yes, she is. And she owns a place where you can take everyone who you are fucking. She owns, yeah, one place per person you're

fucking. Sure. Per type of person in your life. Right, sure, sure, sure. Okay, so I got into that. I began talking about it on the show. I don't know how many listeners I've lost. I'm sure I'm hemorrhaging listeners. But you're gaining another sort of listener. Well, I am.

That's the thing is I thought I'm going to indulge this by talking about it on Jordan and Jesse Go now apparently. Thank you, thank you. And there was a great response from people who also watch, and then just a few people letting me know they didn't like it. So then I did a Twitter poll, because I was like, I've got to get to the bottom of this. 55% of people like it. 45% of people don't.

We kind of had a debate on the show about whether that is a significant majority, in which case case go for it or whether those numbers are close what do you think uh boy uh i mean who boy i mean this seems like a it seems like a show for a very particular kind of person um and i absolutely do not mean that as a slam because i know a lot of very smart TV watchers who love those types of reality shows. Well, it's weird because, and now Jenna got me sucked into Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

So, like, the breaks, we've cut the breaks. Like, anything could happen. No self-respect. You know, I say no self-respect anymore, but that's just pandering. The truth is I don't care. I'm super into it. I'm glad these TV shows exist.

Yeah. Fuck it. I'm in. But I don't think we would think of ourselves as the kind of people who would watch. Oh, no. Yeah. And the only reason I got into Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, it's such a tongue twister, is because you were talking about Vanderpump rules.

And I'm like, who is this Vanderpump lady? So I had to get to the bottom of that, which meant starting the entire series from the beginning. Right. And it's been a journey that- It's like The Wire. You got to watch it from the beginning. Exactly.

And they're setting up things in season one. Oh, man. They're paying off in season four. Tell me about it. It's like that, but without all the craft and artistry. Yeah. Yeah. Right. But there's a lot, but without all the craft and artistry. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

But there's a lot of seasons. And more tan yelling. Yes. Yes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So the cheeky woman owns three restaurants. This is just kind of about the day-to-day operations of the restaurant.

She doesn't have to do challenges. She doesn't travel in an RV. No. She doesn't jump from heights or eat insects or anything like that. It's not like each time you tune in, there's one fewer person. It's just – well, Vanderpump Rules is about the lives of the bartenders and servers who work at one restaurant in particular, but then also sometimes they go to the other restaurants. But it's mostly SUR. S-U-R.

It stands for Sexy Unique Restaurant. True story. Which is terrible. True story. Sounds like it has the naming convention of a Korean boy band. Yes. Like, I feel like there's probably a Korean boy band named like, you know. KBB Korean Boy Band?

Yeah, right. Or like, or like, or like, P.U.B. Pretty Young Boys or something like that. Jenna grew up in Korea. Oh, right. Or like, pretty young boys or something like that. Jenna grew up in Korea. Oh, yeah. I didn't know that. I'm all over the K-pop world. Okay. So you love a group of freshly shorn Korean boys. I mean, if you want to talk kind of pansexual people actually there's a lot of k-pop artists that i

would say fall into that category too maybe not their music but their personas they're very the women the men there are a somewhat feminine looking i would say but but uh yeah k-pop is is uh it's all the rage in my house yeah so you that's it on your rotation. You will throw on PYB. It's been a while. Oh, yeah. I went through a phase where rain was like all that mattered in my life. Do you know me? He's a singer. He's a singer.

And the Wonder Girls were like huge for me for a while. But I've kind of fizzled out. I have to say I've kind of let it go a little bit. Now I've gotten older. Just Backstreet boys all the time. Well, that's where my true loyalties will always lie. My 12-year-old self demands it. Right.

So you love the pump. I do. But I'm getting into Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, too. So this is something Jenna turns you on to. Yes. Now tell me about the Real Housewives. Why do you prefer the Beverly Hills ones? or do you prefer the beverly hills one uh i've only seen like one season of the new york ladies one season of the new jersey ladies and that's when i lived in new york so

i felt like i should see what's happening in my town i mean you know yeah a realistic view of this town if i if i ever make it to these social circles i just want to be prepared sure i mean you know you could read the village voice you know no no no no no no i need to know what the duchess and ramona and all these characters are up to yeah so then i so when we started talking about vanderpump i turned on beverly hills and i can't i cannot look away these women have more money and more more anxiety than anyone I've ever known. Bigger lips. For people who don't do anything. Yeah.

I've never met more, like, that's kind of why I love it. Because they're constantly like, I'm just exhausted. But they're exhausted from the party that they planned like two weeks ago. But they didn't do anything for the party. Because all they did was say like, you're hired, you're hired, you're hired, you're hired. But everything, it's like, I really needed the spa day because I had to go to three parties in the last four days. Do you think they're just cutting out scenes where they're like running triathlon? Where they're like scrubbing floors?

Sure. Definitely not. Yeah. Definitely not. Have you noticed? There's all these beekeeping scenes that they're cutting out. Oh, boy. Have you noticed how many cake tastings they go to?

They all, this is the thing. I feel like a sign of being an adult is, this also sounds like a GQ or Esquire article, but like having your- Or, I mean, it would be a BuzzFeed article if you called it adulting. Yes. Yes. Oh, yes. I feel like an element of adulting is like having your people on hand that you can go to, like your tailor or your dry cleaner or this or that.

And by the way, I have none of these people. I don't even have – actually, I don't even have like a regular person I go to to cut my hair except I think I'm starting to. But in terms of like – Hey, I just want to give a shout out to my regular dry cleaner. Fair dry cleaning on Fairfax. They always do a nice job. They're always fair. And sometimes when I'm leaving, I think that the man behind the counter will very quickly and kind of softly say I love you. That's amazing.

Yeah. He talks very quickly. He's an older guy and maybe a little bit mumbly. And I will go into fair dry cleaning on Fairfax. They always do a nice job. And drop off my thing. And there's been a couple of times where I've been on the way out. And, you know, we're friendly. I'm like, oh, you know, his wife works there.

I'll ask how his wife is. We'll chat a little bit. And on my way out, I will sometimes catch something that sounds a little bit like, thank you, I love you. You should just say it back and see what happens. Yeah, but like look him in the eye, like right down the barrel. Hey, I love you too. I want to go there now. Dry cleaning man.

I just wish I had some clothes that were dry clean only. Because for me that's like, oh, that's dry clean. I can't buy it. That's too much work. It's going to be a real hassle. Yeah. So these housewives. These Beverly Hills housewives.

These adulting housewives, they all separately have their baker that they go to when they need a cake in the shape of high heels. Sure. Or chocolates in the shape of high heels. It's very important. It's a real thing. They all have like their chocolatier on retainer. The chocolatier is like a character on the show. Yes. Actually, actually.

Yes. Later in one season, the chef becomes a character. Oh, my God. He has a puss on his face. Yeah, he's trouble. He doesn't like Lisa Vanderpump. No, he's big trouble in town. Bernie.

Bernie. I think it's Bernie. Yeah. He's like the bitchiest of them all. He's the one going to all the tabloids. Oh my God. Apparently. Is that true?

Apparently. So that's, spoiler alert. No, please. Let's get into it. After all, this is the Vanderpump Rules fan cast. Oh no. Here on Bravo.com. We've changed you.

Yeah, it's a totally new show now. We just talk about Vanderpump Rules. We've been joking. Instead of my penis, which is usually the topic of the show. Probably for the best, honestly. Joking about calling it Daniel Pump Rules. Because my husband, Daniel, first refused to watch and complained loudly about how I was watching. And then, like, just really got into it.

Like, possibly more than I even am into it so i think he seriously would like to start a daniel pump rules podcast but i think he would also talk about game of thrones but anyway okay so one of the plot lines there it seems like i mean i don't i've never watched this program but i do watch game of thrones and from what you're saying they sound very similar i mean there's conniving there's power plays i mean bruno the chocolatier sounds a lot like a real little finger character yes working behind the scenes creating alliances this would honestly make daniel so happy right now what you're saying right i mean i think it would like nothing more than to see himself on the iron throne right well i didn't realize but there is

someone who is pulling the strings in a machiavellian like little finger fashion sure so um some information about one of the housewives marriage shows up in a tabloid um but it's like simultaneous with us the viewers finding out about what's going on in the marriage okay on the show she's's holding up an Us Weekly article, and she thinks aforementioned Lisa Vanderpump is the one who leaked it. And I'm watching it thinking, or couldn't it be like one of the myriad producers? But I guess, according to Jenna,

it's Bruno, the sourpuss personal chef. I think so. I mean, he comes up multiple times in those first few seasons. I'm well into season four already. Okay, I'm still in season two. Actually, this is the first time I've been outside for two weeks. So it's really exciting to be here.

The air is nice. Personally, I think it's Lady Tyrell. That's who I think is leaking the information about the housewives to the press. Can I ask you a Game of Thrones question? You may. I stopped watching. Yes. Did you ever watch it, Jenna?

I did not. It was really good. And then it just got so violent that I couldn't handle it. Even though I still want to know what's going on, I just was like, I can't do this. There's torture and there's just too much gore and it's making me uncomfortable. And I absolutely understand that criticism about it. Yeah. Has that continued? So here's what I think has happened this season with game of

thrones and this is not an original thought i'm having i am paraphrasing uh smarter people who have said this in that either as part of some sort of long game or because they maybe saw the error of their ways it is a less brutal show, particularly towards women. Okay. I think that was a lot of, you know, a lot of stuff they got flack for was, you know, I mean, it's a very brutal show in general, but there was a lot of, you know, icky stuff that would happen to the female characters. So, yeah, this season was a really cool big one for the female characters murdering everyone in addition to getting their comeuppance their good comeuppance just kind of being more fleshed out

interesting, well-rounded characters who we spent more time with and also they spent less time being brutalized so yeah, I don't know if that was part of the plan I have heard a lot of people saying that because they have heard this so much the show that kind of grossed them out and made them feel icky before seems a little more appealing.

So I will say as someone who felt a little icky about that stuff, you know, originally, this was a great season that, you know, I felt like I could just unapologetically love and didn't have to apologize for. So which is what it unapologetically love and didn't have to apologize for, which is what unapologetically means. That was very redundant. But yeah, so I think if you felt icky before, maybe give it another shot. But also, you'll be very lost. Right. Yeah.

Right. I go back and forth regarding the word unapologetic. I go back and forth about whether being unabashedly unapologetic is a good thing or not. On reality shows, it definitely is. Like, I just say it. I just call it like I see it and, you know, deal with it. If you don't like it, then take a hike, you. That's right.

Can I take that again? Yeah. It's a bad catchphrase. Anyway. And sometimes I think i wish i were more unapologetic but then i don't know i almost feel sort of like we were saying like how our actual beginnings to reality shows would be about being like plight and i just like to get along i think actually being an apologetic person is not the worst thing in the world what do you think

yeah no i don't think so either you're right I think, right. I think we are in a cultural moment where people like, they like an outspoken asshole. And I'm, of course, talking about Lady Tyrell from Game of Thrones. Which one is Lady Tyrell? She is the, she is Margaery's grandmother. Oh, oh, I do like her. I do like her like her. Yeah, and she's just a bad bitch. Yeah, she's got gumption. She has a great season, very funny. I don't know the name of the actress, but I think she's giving one of the funnier performances on the show. Very great.

Good one-liners. She's probably Dame someone. Doesn't she seem like a dame? You know, I think she was a Bond girl. Really? I looked at one of these. You'll never believe what Lady Tyrell looked like in the 60s. Was that one of the things that was like sponsored link below what you were actually reading?

Yeah, it was totally that. And then it was like – Number 17 will blow your mind. And local news nip slip. Right. It was – but yeah, I think Lady Tyrell was a Bond girl at some point. Okay. Don't quote me on that.

Don't correct me on it. Anyways. Internet, I will look that up myself later. Oh, yeah. So no, I will look that up myself later. Oh, yes. No, I. Yes, sure. I think an unapologetic, outspoken asshole is a bad thing to be. I think you should apologize, get wrong and listen to other people.

I would say that. And one more thing. I would say that people we our culture is like, OK, with it, but only because we like to watch it and hate it. Sure. You know, I think in real life, if we met someone like that, we'd be like, I don't want to be friends with you. Right. But if you're not like that on TV or on a reality show, we're like, why are we watching this? Right.

This is so boring and bland and I don't care. I want to despise you or love you. Exactly. Have you noticed in real life that no one ever storms out? Exactly. Have you noticed in real life that no one ever storms out? But I had a friend, well, I had a coworker who I was friendly with who had a flair for the dramatic. And I heard a story about how she stormed out.

There were three people at lunch. She stormed out. And then the other people just sat there and finished and she just hung out in the parking lot. That's the thing is in real life what happens after you storm out. There's practical considerations. Exactly. Do you drive with someone? Right. Are they blocking your car?

Yeah, I think I would even if I did like let somebody have it. I don't think I could do the door slam. I pray on the way out would just be like, well, okay. Have a good weekend. You know, text me if anything comes up. Are we cool? We're cool. Great. I'll see you later. I'll fuck you. A question about Vanderpump Rules.

Okay. It is concerning three restaurants, all of which I'm sure are within 20 minutes of your house. Not yet. Oh, yeah? Was that the question? Have I been yet? Yes. We've talked about it. Yes.

Oh, this is embarrassing. But I have no shame. We've done two drive-bys. Because I lead, like, a fairly boring life. It's fine. I enjoy it. But for people who enjoy fun, it wouldn't be for them. But occasionally on a Saturday, we'll be like, should we pick up food?

Sure. Maybe we should drive by Sur. And the first time we drove by Sur. It's either Sur or Quiznos. Right. Oh, actually, we drove by Sur and then we drove by Pump. It was almost like a tour. Are they in the same zone?

Yes. They're very close to each other. So we saw one. I'm hearing how earnest I sound. And that's okay. I saw one of the guys from the show outside. So that was like jackpot. But then this last time we drove by, we couldn't see anyone. So I've heard, unfortunately, that the food is not good. I've heard mostly it's sort of like a real-life amusement, that you just go there to stare at the people that are on television. Right. But I've done my research, and the food looks good on Yelp.

It does. The pictures look great. I tried to make a reservation there for us to go, but I couldn't find one that was going to not, you know, be past like 11 p.m. It was like our group, we don't go out at 11 p.m. What is this? I got sleep to get. So anyway, yeah, I tried to make an appointment.

We have a four in the morning spot. A reservation appointment, a reservation. And it was like nearly impossible. But I won't give up, Allison. We're going one of these days. I didn't realize. I mean, that would make sense, but I didn't realize it was that hard to get in. It was shocking. I really thought like, oh, this will be no problem at all because there were a couple

of reviews that were like, oh, we just stopped by and it was great. But the reservation thing is like impossible. So clearly and talk to someone. No, I use the website. Okay. Call people. I know on the phone. Yeah Actually, remember when that's how reservations were made? Oh, sure. Yeah, no, I was making dinner reservations not too long ago, and they did not have a link on the website. They were not listed on OpenTable.com. Do they even want business?

Yeah, and I had to call the guy, and I felt like I was being put out. And then when I realized that, no, until two years ago, this is just how you did this. Right. I had a moment when I was driving here. So I use Waze because I have a terrible sense of direction. And because of the time of day, it was like left here, right here, left here, right here, left here, right here.

It was like a million little turns to get here. And I looked down and all of a sudden I noticed on my phone that I had 1% battery. And I had it plugged in the whole time. So I like pushed the little car charger thing. And then I saw the little lightning bolt. So I guess it had like it wasn't connecting. But then for a second, I thought, oh, what if it's broken? I'm about to be out of power and I don't know where I am.

I don't know how to get here. And I also don't know how to get home. And I also don't have Jenna's number memorized so if even if I were because all my brain's like what the hell would I do like I guess I could like you know if I borrowed someone's phone I don't even have my husband's number memorized so I don't know what I would have done and I was pretty sure I was going to be stranded in I don't know where and then I thought I shouldn't be this helpless. How has this happened?

Yeah. No, no. Sure. I mean, and I will, and I think I know my way around LA pretty well. I was a PA for a couple of years where you just drive scripts around. And this was in the day where you had to have a Thomas guide. You had to list that on your resume that you owned the Thomas guide. And, you know, where you would get, where someone would go to map quest and physically print you

out a map uh like the cavemen did right um and now who goes to map quest um so yeah but i i i will just instinctively when i get in the car i will put my phone in its little phone holder and i will put in the address of where i'm going uh despite how close it is or whether i know how to get there or not so yeah uh yes I think we are all becoming adult babies. Right. Oh, definitely. I'm actually in that boat all the time because I have terrible cell phone service for some reason. We're in this giant city and my phone decides to not have service about 70% of the time.

So on the way here, several times it's like, can't find the satellite. Oh, I hate that. And I'm so terrified. I get so angry. I know. Hey, check space. Hey, you don't know where the satellite is? Hey, maybe check space, genius.

Usually where those are. I hate when it says in red, like, no. Yes. Connect, yeah. Not really an accurate location. Right. Ugh. Plus, I hate driving, so.

Sure. We got that going for us, too. Plus, I hate driving, so we got that going for us, too. My reality show indulgence, not so much these days, but I definitely had a little torrid affair with the show Bar Rescue. Oh, yes. Didn't you do something for that show? Yes. Matt Myra and I got to be the recon guys on an episode of Bar Rescue. It was a goddamn delight and a thrill.

How did you get to do that? And what, can you, I've seen the half of one episode or something. There were bugs in it. Yeah, yeah. Yes, a big part of Bar Rescue is showing, is going around a bar and showing where bugs are breeding

and laying their eggs. And sometimes liquor bottles that they swim in. That's so gross. Which is kind of cute, I think. It's like they're having a little bath. Right. So Matt Myra is a very well-connected and well-liked man and just happens through his channels to know the guy who does publicity for Bar Rescue.

And I think the idea is that they have a recon portion of the show where John Taffer, the host, a mean dad who owns one sport coat, will send in his recon guys to check out the bar and report back to him on- Like secret shoppers. Yeah. You're looking for bugs. You're looking for service. You're looking for overpouring.

If there's food involved, how quick is it coming out? Is it cooked thoroughly? Things like that. So you're his guys on the inside. And did you like how your cricket was prepared? Right. Exactly. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Your your vodka and roaches was a top shelf vodka. And so he, you know, said to the publicity guy, my my friend and co-worker Jordan, we are very, very big fans of the show. My friend and co-worker Jordan, we are very big fans of the show. We would like to come on, and they set it up.

We went to a place in, oh gosh, where was it? It's kind of near San Diego, Carlsbad. Oh, yeah. It's called The Poor House, P-O-U-R House. And yeah, we did the recon. It was a lot of fun. The bar was haunted. I don't want to spoil too much.

Has it aired yet? It has aired, yes. And it is currently airing every single Sunday for the rest of my life. Spike just reruns the shit out of those on Sunday. It's just a big bar rescue marathon. So wait, was it a total shit show though? No. You know, the bar was a pretty good bar run by nice people that was just clearly had a lot of internal problems and a ghost. So.

Sounds so fun. It was very fun. I'm all about the ghosts. So that would have been very exciting. Yeah. I did not see any ghostly activities, but maybe they don't show up. Were you open to it? I was open to it.

Yes. I have never had a ghost experience. No, me neither. And I think my feeling is that it is fake, but if a ghost thing happened to me, I would allow a ghost person to help me work through it. That's good that you have a plan. A ghost person? Yeah, like a ghost person. A ghost buster.

A ghost buster, yeah. But a male ghost buster. Oh! Sorry! Stop ruining my... Fuck, I'm sick of talking about this. Anyway, the ghost buster controversy. this. Anyway, the Ghostbuster controversy. Of course, yeah.

I have fatigue. So I love Bar Rescue, so I will, if I get a chance, go to the renovated bars. I've been to all the L.A. ones. They've all been a lot of fun, particularly Pat's Cocktails in North Hollywood, if you ever get a chance. I will. You should absolutely go to pat's cocktails when i was there mr belding was there the guy who played mr belding i i don't want to take away from your mr belding sighting please don't it's all i have that's wonderful um and also a lot of people have had mr be Belding sightings. Thank you. What's up? Is he just very social? Yes.

I think if you are in the kind of Burbank slash North Hollywood areas of L.A., Mr. Belding is out and about. He's a party animal. Yeah. I think if you're a lady, he'll buy a shot and sing a karaoke with you. And he was wearing Crocs when i saw him so he's stylish and hip yes stylish got pretty fat i mean what uh is he cashing in on the mr belding thing he probably is i don't know how much well i mean like socially yes i think he likes it when people want to do selfies and right when a when a young

lady wants to sing karaoke. It's like the perfect age difference that he's probably interested in. Yeah. Younger ladies, they know who he is. He grew up with you. Well, he used to watch me when you came home from school and I want to watch you when you... That's my Mr. Belding impression. It was.

Yeah. I felt like I was in the room with him. So yeah. I felt like I was at Rydell High or whatever it was called. Rydell High! I think that's the Grease High School. What was it called? Bayside. That's what I meant.

Bayside High. Go Bayside. Anyway. Oh, that's right. So I was, and maybe we'll take a break after this. I think this is a lovely segue. I've been to Vegas two times very close to each other. I'm coming off my second trip.

And at no point in either of these trips would anyone go to Bacon Bar with me, which is one of the bar rescue sites. Did they know that you wanted to go there because of your bar rescue thing? Yes. Because maybe that's why they didn't want to go. Yeah, I think that's a big part of it. They thought it was weird and gross. But I – Did you go anyway? I've still not been to bacon bar oh no well i'm sorry go ahead no no please i'm just gonna say i hope you'll enlighten us perhaps when we come back as to what all the vegasing is about sure yes uh vegasing that's coming up

uh my life and how it's, that's coming up. And me making you guys look through Bacon Bar's Yelp page is also coming up. I'm into that. When we come back on Jordan, Jesse, go. Hey guys, this is Adam Conover. You may know me from my la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Hey, guys. This is Adam Conover. You may know me from my true TV show, Adam Ruins Everything.

Well, guess what? Now we're doing a podcast version right here on Maximum Fun. What we do is we take all the interesting, fascinating experts that we talked to for just a couple minutes on the show, and we sit with them for an entire podcast, really going deep and getting into the fascinating details of their work. Find Adam Ruins Everything wherever you get your podcasts or at MaximumFun.org. It's Jordan and Jesse Goh. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, You have to remember that exactly the way you said it for the next segment. That's really good. Okay, I got it. I want to talk about this Vegas in my transformation. Please, please. From cocoon to moth.

Wow. I was a cocoon before, now I'm a beautiful moth. Wow, straight past caterpillar. Oh, yeah. No, none of that shit for me. But I do want to let listeners know that beloved recent running joke, Garaba, Garaba, baby, is now a T-shirt that you can get on Topatico.com. So if you want a Garaba shirt, go to Topatico.com. It is only available until July 15th.

So this is a limited time offer. After July 15th, it will go away forever, and you will feel like a chump until you die for having missed it. So go over there to Topatico.com, search Garaba, and get yourself that T-shirt. Is that G-R-A-B-B-A? G-A-R-A-B-A. Let me see if I can remember what it stands for.

It stands for get help. For an emergency. Oh. You're going to want to get help, assess the situation, read up on it, be kind to yourself, and abstinence. Garaba. I know. Very confusing.

You're confused. Well, I feel like- People looking at your t-shirt will be confused if you buy one. Yes. I like it. Please. No. Very confusing. You're confused. Well, I feel like – People looking at your T-shirt will be confused if you buy one. Yes. You have a concern. I like it. No. You know, I – but my concern went away in the time –

Okay. In the time where you just – you recognize that I did and then it's like my brain just wasn't etch-a-sketch and it just went blank. Because I was trying to like do the letters in my head and I had some question about it and now I don't care anymore. Okay. That's totally reasonable. Oh, speaking of beloved running jokes, before I get to the Vegas business, I want to ask you guys, we're polling all of our guests. Okay.

What's a chode? To you, when you hear the word chode, what- It is a short, wide penis. Jenna? Oh, goodness. I clearly did not, I have no idea. You've never heard chode Jenna? Oh, goodness. I clearly did not. I have no idea. You've never heard chode before?

Never. Okay. Yeah. So. I think it's a regional thing. I think a lot. Most people say. Is it like a Pepsi where you're from?

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yes. Give me a cold chode. We call all kinds of soda chode. It can be Fanta. It can be Coke. Yeah. It can be Fanta, it can be Coke, it can be a milkshake.

Let's get a pepperoni pizza and a pitcher of chodes for the table. And keep them coming. Keep them. Keep the chodes going. Don't stop. Bottomless chodes. Yeah. What a deal.

A lot of people think it is short, fat penis, that it seems to be the most popular definition. I grew up thinking it was a synonym for taint. Oh, I feel like I've heard this before. I've heard the some people think it's that. Yeah. And also, there's a couple people who think it's like a weed reference for a joint that's almost done. Oh, okay. That's more in the realm of what I thought it might be, like something like that.

Yeah, a drug reference. That feels more right to me. Sure I thought it might be, like something like that. Yeah, drug reference. That feels more right to me. Sure. Smoke that chode. Yeah. Right, but sucking on that chode, would that suggest more what I think it means? Yes. But the only reason I think it means that is because I've heard it described.

I've heard people say that's what it means. I would just think a chode is just like a jerk. Right. But kind of in a genital way. Sure. Sort of a dash of genitals. A real Richard type. Yeah.

Yeah. But yeah, no, I think that's when if you were calling someone a chode, it would be kind of a like, you know, masculine kind of duty douchebag. Right. Now, but it's definitely a pejorative, right? No one's like, check out the girth of my chode. No. I mean, listen, I mean, I think there, you know, obviously different, you know, different anatomy.

People are into chodes. Yeah. I mean, maybe, you know, perhaps if you are a lady or a gentleman who deals with penises sexually, you prefer a chode. We want to hear from you. What should they put as the subject line? Yes. A chode preference.

Chode lover. Ooh, I could do a Twitter poll. Would you please? Well, so we have this kind of silly running thing on my show, which is we'll come up with a, well, it's supposed to be a controversial topic. But last time it was cheesecake. It's also been moleskin notebooks. And it's also been the Grateful Dead.

So it's not that controversial. Are they good? Yeah. But it's you have to say, yes, please or oh, please. Okay. Except that everyone forgets. So they either say yes, please or no, thank you, which is not – that's not how it goes. But anyway, I could do a Twitter poll, Chodes, yes, please, or oh, please.

Oh, right. Whether you would just make sure to clarify. Which one is which? That you're talking about either a short white penis. Oh, right, right. Not a drink. Not the beverage. You're right.

Not a synonym for Pepsi. So I have weirdly gone to, and I know it's weird. I feel like we talk about Vegas a lot on the show. Just from two guys who aren't really like party animals, I think we talk about it a lot. Because I think it's just a novel thing. And when it happens, it shocks the system and you kind of want to talk about it. Even though it goes against their whole ad campaign because what happens in Vegas now happens on Jordan, Jesse Go. That's true.

Yeah. I don't think they accounted for podcasts when they came up with that famous slogan. Like, hey, assholes. Some of us have podcasts. Anyway, but I have a – like I go once a year with some some dudes oh you have it's like a whole thing it's a whole thing yeah we go to see there's an annual show called punk rock bowling it's a celebration of the punk rock of the late 80s and early 90s that sounds cool uh yeah so i have some dudes i go i go see that with every year and then do bands play or is it a

celebration of their cds uh yeah right it's like yeah you just it just flash it's a bit you stand in front of a big screen and it flashes album art right oh i love the dust off your cd collection yeah exactly there with you yeah you hold up your case logic binder oh yeah show everyone your descendants albums um no it's it's like a it's like a it's like a kind of a, it's like a scummy Coachella. Who played this year? The Descendants were kind of the headlining band. That's so cool.

But yeah, you'll get a Stiff Little Fingers. Buzzcocks played this year. That was a terrific band to see. So yeah, if you're into that thing, it's a lot of fun. And also if you enjoy being surrounded by scumbags, it's also very fun. Are you considering yourself and your fellow chodes scumbags?

Because I don't think of you that way. No, and it's nice of you to say. Thank you very much. I think that they're, well, I'm going to say within us all is a scumbag. Someone who. You should get it removed. You can get infected. Yeah.

Get pregnant. Sure. you definitely don't want a scumbag in the chode that's uh can turn deadly yeah uh so yeah i lost some of my closest friends that way yeah i think i mean i definitely have a part of me that just wants to scream and get drunk and smoke pot and wear shorts and lay down on the ground. So, yeah, I think there is a part of me that's a scumbag. And I think that I can indulge that part of me in specific circumstances. I think I can go into a controlled environment and be a real fucking scumbag. See, that doesn't sound like a scumbag to me. That just sounds like someone who's at a festival concert.

Yeah. And I think that's kind of what those are the, the you know those types of things serve that purpose in society it's kind of a way to just lay down in public lay down in public while drunk yeah yeah uh so yeah i think i have that within me and i think i can function in polite society it's not part of my identity to be a scumbag but uh i have the potential i think but see i would think scumbag is someone who's like talking about tits and stuff. Sure. Is that part of your repertoire as well? No.

Well, geez. I mean, I listen. I enjoy tits. Right. Who doesn't? I think they're terrific. Some don't. That's true.

But yeah. I mean, I guess even if you don't sexually enjoy tits, there's something to be appreciated. You could enjoy them in a platonic way. About them. Yeah. I mean, I guess I guess even if you don't sexually enjoy tits, there's something to be enjoyed in a platonic way about them. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, I guess I don't want my scumminess to go over into like sexism because I think that's just like a that's just a quality of a bad person. OK. But, you know, I can I can I can appreciate a pair of tits in the wild, I guess. But yeah, but, you know, but I also like to appreciate the person who they're on. That's nice. Yeah.

And if they're a Ghostbuster, that's fine with me. That's fine with me. But what about your childhood? Oh, that's right. It's ruined. Oh, I forgot that my childhood was ruined. Anyways. So just for whatever weird reason, I had this punk rock bowling thing that I do every year.

And then my work wanted to go on a work retreat. We've never been on a work retreat before. How fun. And so the show I work for at midnight, if you're not a regular listener to the show, we had Carrot Top on as a guest. Carrot Top had such a nice time he said if anybody's ever in vegas please be my guest at the luxor does he own part of the luxor uh he has a show at the luxor okay so we were to be his guest at the show so we oh i see we took him up on it i've seen carrot top and i am fundamentally different because of it how was it uh it It was great. It was really great. Yeah.

He, no, listen, Carrot Top, not a sophisticated comic. A lot of puns. A lot of props. But the man fucking goes a mile a minute. There are, in the course of a 90-minute show, I would say that there are 8,000 jokes that he does. A prolonged lip-s sync section at the end. Also, I was very stoned. Did you laugh a lot?

I did laugh a lot. Yeah, it was fun. And Carrot Top was very nice. He welcomed us backstage to his chill zone, poured us some drinks, and yeah, had a lovely time. Do you have a newfound respect for Carrot Top? Maybe you already had respect for Carrot Top. Yeah, I mean, I interacted with him when he was on the show and had a really good experience with him. He was a nice guy.

I thought he was really funny on the show. Polite, easy to work with, a good collaborator. And yeah, I really liked his show. And I kind uh have a new respect for him and maybe felt a little bit bad about what we as a culture have done to care about yeah uh to punch lining him uh because yeah he's a he's a talented dude and puts on a great show he does have it appears to me he does have a sense of humor about himself though which is great yeah there is definitely a portion of the show where he will play clips of people shit-talking him and then react to them.

Oh, nice. It's a lot of fun. Yeah, that is fun. Yeah. I've always been fascinated by him because I feel like I sort of – I don't know if there was a moment in my lifetime when he was very, I guess he is mainstream, but I don't know when the transition was that he sort of became someone everyone joked about. Well, that I feel like I do remember that part. Yeah. But I'll say, you know, when you prep somebody for at midnight, you do it in the dressing room, in their dressing room with them.

I've seen dude without his shirt on. He's jacked. Oh, yeah. That's not a secret, but I've seen dude without his shirt on. He's jacked. Oh, yeah. That's not a secret, but I've seen it up close. It is real. The amount of jacked that Carrot Top is, is... Hard to put into words? Do you know that...

I was going to say awe-inspiring, but yes, hard to put into words is correct. I don't think I know Carrot Top's real name. Yeah, I don't think I do either. Oh, I do know it, but I don't know if he... Does he tell people? His name is Scott Thompson. What? Yeah, like the kid in the hall. I didn't expect I do either. Oh, I do know it, but I don't know if he – Does he tell people? His name is Scott Thompson. What? Yeah, like the kid in the hall.

I didn't expect that. Wow. I expected like Ellery or something. Eustace. Oh, I wonder if my brain chose Ellery because it sounds like celery and I was thinking of carrots. Oh, yeah, sure. Like something within the vegetable realm. Things you would have with buffalo wings.

Right. Something within the vegetable realm. Things you would have with buffalo wings. Right. But it's so just everyday guy name. Yeah, I know. I'm wondering if you had to go carrot top. Sure, yeah. It's got to go completely the other direction.

Now, having had this retreat with your coworkers, do you feel closer to them? I've never been on a work retreat, but I've always kind of wanted to. Yeah, boy, it was a lot of fun. There was no – Did everyone go? No. A couple of people had to stay behind for other things. Did Chris Hardwick go?

Chris Hardwick did not go. But I'm sure we would have had a blast. He was not welcome. Writing staff only, asshole. All right, pretty boy with your makeup and your wardrobe. No, you know know it was not we are as a staff i think we we we party at very different levels we have a couple of sober people we have a couple of like people who have been through aa um uh people with kids uh and then some part-time scumbags uh so yeah we it wasn't a thing where we all got wasted and like

you know looked into each other's eyes and told each other we loved each other or spilled our guts or told anybody off. But it was a nice time. And I think we have a lot of good inside jokes, which I think for a comedy staff is an important thing. Yeah. So, yeah. That's good. Jenna, work retreat ever? Have you ever done one?

Or any kind of retreat? It depends on your definition of retreat. I have a loose definition. Okay. Well, when I worked at Daily Show. Have you walked to the snack machine with anyone and loaned them change? And I have a strict definition, like our founding fathers intended retreat. Oh, wow.

Okay. Yeah. Well, when I worked at Daily Show, we would go like a couple times a year, like either on like a boat to a beach or something that's okay like a day trip a baseball game one time um just yeah i think those are the big ones that we did i'm trying to think if we did anything else but i don't think so yeah so we we would do those and they were always really fun and would get people really excited because typically we would do it like the day before at dark week anyway.

So everyone's like, yeah, we're not working and we don't have to come back, you know, that kind of thing. So that was a, they were fun. They were good. I don't think it, I think it's that same sort of vibe where you go like, nobody's really partying that hard here because you do have such a wide variety of people. We do have such a wide variety of people. And so it really just turns into like a fun time with people. And you do get to know them a little better, which is fun, which is nice, too, for when you come back. You can be like, remember when we were on the boat?

Oh, yeah. That was so cool. Water. You know, that kind of thing. Remember? Yeah, it was so great. I have never done anything fun with people I work with. And it makes me wonder, have they done fun things and I just didn't know about it.

I feel like the most fun I had, like I worked at Time Out in New York, sometimes there would be bagels in the break room. That's about it. You would all like go to the bagels together. Yeah. Yeah. But even that wasn't camaraderie. It was just like who can get there first. Like, ooh, carbs. Yeah, exactly.

So it was more of a race or a struggle. Exactly. It was a competition. It was a challenge. Do like a free work bagel. Yeah. Yes. The unexpected carbohydrate is nice. It's nice, right? Yeah. The last time we talked, was I not eating carbohydrates? It's sad that this is, that I'm like, here's some interesting news about me to update you with. Please. Do you recall if I was not eating carbohydrates? Because I went through a long phase of not eating carbohydrates. You know what? I think the last time and I was thinking about doing a follow up segment for this show, but then got a little bit lazy.

I think the last time I was on the Thursday gang, we ate Lay's potato chips that have been flavored like a gyro. And I just smelled them. Maybe you did. Yeah, I think one time you licked one. Yeah, I don't think I tried any of the flavored potato chips. Okay. Well, anyway, I'm back in a big way. I went to dinner last night.

Oh, going to your house was kind of like a retreat. Heck yeah. You guys worked together. Yeah. It's a professional type relationship. Went to dinner at your house last night yep your husband made pasta it was delicious it was so pasta is the kind of thing where during my long no carbohydrate phase i was like i can barely remember when i would sit down to a plate

of pasta like i can't even imagine ever doing that ever again how do people do that well that's what i did last night at one point i got tired of twirling the pasta around my fork so i like face onto the plate almost yeah i like twirled it like three quarters of the way and i'm like this will work itself out put the fork into my mouth started biting and i think jenna saw this do you remember this moment oh yeah yeah so there were like all these noodles dangling out of my mouth and it was starting to hit the back of my throat and i was starting to swallow i'm like oh i this is not working itself out i don't know what to do and i had to bite down and just with with my paw

grab you are more animal than human at that moment i was beast exactly. Jungle beast. I just kind of had to grab the pasta that was dangling out of my mouth with my hand and then just put it back on the plate. But thankfully, Jenna, I think you kind of just shrugged like, eh, it happens, which made me feel so much better. I will watch you remove food from your mouth and put it back on the plate to eat later it was really i feel like that is my like mcbeth's tragic flaw was he was ambitious sure right hamlet was indecisive yeah i'm impatient and i'm always like i'm gonna skip this step and i think it's gonna work out the step where you actually like put the right size amount of something on your fork. And then I just end up in embarrassing situations. I think like Othello, you will probably choke on ravioli. Yes.

Yeah. That was a tragic ending. Jenna, have you ever removed something from your diet? Have you ever said, I'm not doing X, Y, or Z? Well, okay. When I was like 18, I decided I wasn't going to eat sugar at all. I mean, something I think I know about you is that you enjoy candy. Sugar is life. I'm sorry, all you people that tell me it's like cocaine. It's like... Well, look, I can say something pretty safely.

Please. It's like cocaine. It's like... Well, look, I can say something pretty safely. Please. It's not. The world that tells me, oh, I just wish you wouldn't eat that stuff. Get over yourself. I love it. But when I was like 18, I thought, I'm going to try no sugar. And I went so strict that I would read the labels on every single thing that I was eating. And if it had less than like three grams or something I could

eat it which really is surprising how much that limits everything you eat yeah I lost weight very quickly but I was also the grumpiest human that's ever existed uh so that lasted like a week or two I want to say maybe about 10 days and then I probably ate an entire pan of brownies and was like I'm back on track let's do this yeah I feel human again we're good I've had the pan yeah I'm back I've evened myself rehab didn't work on me kids what what made you go back on the carb train was it a specific dish was it so did you reach a goal um I just felt like the real I don't I feel like avoiding carbs is no longer really doing anything for me. So the reason that I started doing it was I was doing IVF.

I'm pregnant now. Sure. Congratulations. I said congratulations off mic. But as is our people's custom, I like to make things official by saying it on a podcast. Thank you so much. That is the way of our people's custom, I like to make things official by saying it on a podcast. Thank you so much. That is the way of our people, of our tribe.

So I've always had to watch my weight. And I used to be, growing up, I was always overweight. And then I went into my adulthood, and then I lost a bunch of weight. And I really have to struggle to keep it off. But I've always felt like I kind of had it under control by like being very controlled with what I was eating. And then I started doing IVF and for a while things were okay. Well, actually I started doing IVF and then, um, because you're injecting yourself with so many hormones and for portions of it, your body thinks it's pregnant. Like that's what you're, you're telling your body that, and just making it do all kinds of crazy things, I would gain weight.

And the first time it happened, gain and then lose, and then gain and then lose, and gain and then lose. And at a certain point, I realized, oh, this is just the way it works. You gain it, and then you lose it, and you gain it. But at the beginning, when I started gaining, and I'm not talking about a ton, like I don't know that other people could even see it, but I'm so attuned to that. I started gaining, I freaked out, and I was like, oh, you know, I'm not talking about a ton. Like I don't know that other people could even see it, but I'm so attuned to that. So gaining, I freaked out. And I was like, oh, you know, I'm barely eating like all the things that I normally do to not gain weight or to lose weight aren't working.

And someone said to me, it could be carbs. And I was like, I don't even think there's science behind that. But that really resonated with me. That sounds right. Yeah. That sounds like it might be right. So I'm like, I'm going to- Maybe you read that somewhere.

Yeah. So I decided I'm just going to give up carbs and see what happens. Because I had been doing a lot of reading and I've always known about the Atkins diet and stuff like that. So at the very beginning, I did lose some weight and I was like, oh my God, it's working. And I just, I don't know. I, like, I can really get behind a diet. Not currently.

But at the time, I couldn't. I think I liked the idea that it was so strict and so regimented. And, like, I've joked before that I would like to be buried in a bread basket with a ton of butter. Like, I love carbohydrates. Sure. So all of a sudden to go to a restaurant and to just be like, I just don't eat bread. Right. It was weirdly easier to not touch it if – and I don't eat dessert and all these things.

And I stopped even wanting them. I think it's – yeah. I think with those, I'm not doing X, Y, Z. Right. It's easier than moderation. There's this couple of weeks of hell. Yeah. You know, where you just want it more than anything.

And then, you know, your body adjusts, I think. So, yeah. Right. It's easier than moderation. There's this couple of weeks of hell, you know, where you just want it more than anything. And then, you know, your body adjusts, I think. Right. And so then at a certain point, I think I did it from June to December. And then in December, it's like I was the same weight that I had been when I started, having gone up and down and up and down and up and down a lot since then. And then I just thought, I don't I actually don't think this is doing anything diet wise for me yeah and i kind of miss specifically i missed like lean cuisines and healthy choice frozen dinners and stuff it's funny uh i did joe rogan's podcast he's like that's what you missed oh mean, who doesn't love a scrumptious, weird, beige chicken breast and slimy carrots? It really was, though.

So I just started eating carbohydrates again. And now that I'm pregnant, I've been having morning sickness. And small, constant meals that are kind of carbohydrate based are what is recommended. And here's the biggest kicker. You know how much I drink Refresh-A wild cherry soda. Oh, yeah. Did you have to give up Refresh-A? I had to give up artificial sweetener, which really was the cornerstone of my diet.

Yeah. I'm having, this is harder for me. You had a Refresh-A IV for a while i yes if i could marry it i would have sure um my blood probably smells like wild cherry i'm currently detoxing um but this is actually much harder for me than giving up carbohydrates is this no artificial sweetener because now i'm drinking water which which I hate. Sure. Sucks. Yeah. It tastes like shit.

It's gross. Yeah. Thank you. I know. I feel like I have a bad taste. You know how people are like artificial sweetener, there's like a bad aftertaste.

I feel like water has a bad aftertaste. I just don't feel right. It's not wild at all. I feel like I'm in nature, like I'm drinking like rocks or something. Right.

It's gross. I don't know what I'm going to do. I mean, I guess I'll get used to it. Yeah. And you have not replaced it with like, you know, a La Croix or a sparkling water or something like that. That seems to me like the, you know. That's where I went first. The opium from heroin.

Right. That is the methadone. That's where I went first. Yeah. Okay. But, sorry, i don't know why i corrected you i think no no that you're uh i think you i think you're right okay okay um let's agree to agree let's agree about this yeah listen as a as a famous heroin addict you of all

people would know it's my brand you love the junk thank you you love horse very much you love scoring that's right anyway that's i like chasing the dragon oh who doesn't no one that might be opium too anyway i don't even know what what is chasing the dragon i feel like it involves tinfoil i think that's when you smoke opium but again i don't know no um so i did try some of those flavored seltzers there's a ton in my cabinet right now um but i found, because I was having to like choke those down because they're so unsweet. I mean, I'm just used to things being very, very artificially sweet. So those were just, I was having trouble drinking them. And then I realized, oh, actually water seems to be the easiest thing to drink. Yeah. I mean, it signifies a kind of death of my soul.

Right. Sure. But it's worth it for the little one, I guess. Yeah. Sure. You've got his order. It's not forever. That's what I'll tell you.

What if my baby wants refresh A? Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I think you should, when you go to deliver the baby, I don't know if you're doing a home birth or not. Probably not. Probably not. I mean, I think you should at the, when you go to deliver the baby, I don't know if you're doing a home birth or not. Probably not. Probably not. I would, I would guess.

Just have, have the, have the nurse chill a refresh and just throw one back as soon as you get done. Well, yeah, I did that with Diet Coke. It was like, I had a baby seven months ago or something now. And I was like, dear husband, this is how it goes in the hospital room. I pop the baby out. They give it to me. Oh, cute, cute, cute.

You hand me a Diet Coke. And we move on with our lives. He's more beautiful than anything I've ever seen. Blah, blah, blah. Our life is different. Give me that, DC. Thank you. Yes.

Jenna, what is your pregnancy advice? I mean, I'm sure you guys have talked about this before now. No, it's never come up. It's never – oh, really? What is the pregnancy advice? I would say enjoy the carbohydrates now. Jenna and her husband have been very nice and supportive regarding like this – because I'm kind of freaking out about the way my body is changing. Sure.

And also about how tired. And you guys have both been like, this is the one time of your life where you can just like, if you want to rest, rest. If you want to eat a marshmallow, do. Yes. Because once the baby comes out, everything's different and you are very tired. And if you want to get back into your genes, you can't eat all the carbs that you were eating before. So I say this is the one time in your life where it is your job to indulge in being lazy and eating what your body wants you to eat or what your mind is telling your body what you want to eat.

Or what the baby is saying. That's true, too. You never know. Maybe the baby just wants to drink Pure Ranch dressing. I don't know. Yes. Oh, I meant me. I want to drink Pure Ranch dressing. Well, I meant me. I want to drink Peter Rance dressing.

Well, I think we've learned a lot about pregnancy. Vanderpump rules. Vanderpump rules. How Carrot Top will change someone. You have pregnancy. I have the time I saw Carrot Top. Yeah. I think these are equally important life milestones.

Rights of passage. There's many things to do when you're wanting to kick heroin. Yeah. So it's been informative so far. But when we come back from this little break, we're going to talk momentous occasions. We are going to talk moments of shame. Maybe a summer boy call. I don't know.

Depends on what Christian Duenas boots us up in the old phone machine. We'll be right back on Jordan, Jesse, go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Hi. Are you a fan of Star Trek The Next Generation? Well, that's weird because it's a corny show. But my friends Ben Harrison and Adam Pranica do a lovely podcast about it. It's called

The Greatest Generation and it's on MaximumFun.org. I thought that this podcast was a bad idea but I was wrong. Please listen to The Greatest Generation on MaximumFun.org. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective.

Allison Rosen, clever person. You may not be able to tell from that quick call. Jenna Kim Jones, sugar addict. That's good. That's for on brand. From time to time, and by from time to time, I mean every single episode, we like to go to our phone machine where our beloved listeners have called us with momentous occasions, important moments in their life. This is the period of the show where we listen to those calls, and we're going to do it now. Christian?

Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. This is Dave down here in Pennsylvania. I was just at a gas station that serves food and I was in there after the bars tonight and some guy had a shirt on that had a phone number on it that was 1-800 fuck off I decided I was going to ask him well have you ever called that phone number? And he's like, no, that's for you to do. So I decided to call it, and I put it on speakerphone for him so he could hear it, and it turned out to be a sex hotline. Well, that's all I got.

Have a good one, guys. See ya. I mean, I guess I could have predicted that, maybe. Yeah. That it would be a sex hot guys. See ya. Boy, this man was very bold to approach a guy who had this T-shirt, like the kind of man who has a fuck-off T-shirt that has, I guess, in a gas station in Pennsylvania late at night. Right. That's bold. This is not a man that I would want to go up to and do a bit with. No. That's like approaching a person that's got, like, how's my driving, 1-800-EAT-SHIT.

Sure. It's like following them to their home and then having a discussion about traffic safety. I don't know, though. We don't know what the caller was wearing. Maybe he was wearing a very provocative T-shirt himself. Oh, you're right. Ask gas or grass.

Nobody rides for free. The, like, I'm an asshole, deal with it T-shirt that I saw in Vegas while I was there. And I guess by t-shirt, I mean many articles of clothing. The phrase that kept coming up was, talk shit, get hit. I love talk shit, get hit. I think it's so funny. And I just don't, I just wish, I wish it were like that.

Yeah. I feel like there's so much shit talking and not. No one's getting hit. Yeah. People are not getting hit yeah people are not getting hit i'm not really not really saying i'm a fan of violence i'm just saying like i feel like shit talking sometimes goes unpunished sure i mean that gives you to get spiritually hit right you know hit with a fine do you think that person is just saying hey if you talk shit about me i'm

gonna hit you or are they just saying this is my personal policy because i bet like that person talks a lot of shit actually sure yeah and i i will i will say uh because we're in an in an honesty space here right it's the first place that i saw talk shit get hit was on a a woman's bikini bottom on her bottom so wow that is a a very particular kind of woman. We're getting married in July. And then after seeing it on this woman's bottom, I saw it on many t-shirts after that. You realized it was a thing. It's a thing. Yeah. I don't know.

Is that a catchphrase from something that I'm missing? I have never heard of it. No, I've never heard it. Anyway. Yeah. I would guess that the person who wears the talk shit get hit article of clothing means it about them and their like circle. You know, their family, friends. Right. Dudes.

Ride or die bitches. Bros. Ride or die. These are the people who if you talk shit about you will get hit. Let's talk about ride or die bitches. Please. Because I like to use the phrase, but what does it really mean?

Like, she'll be your ride and there if you die? Yeah. I can't parse it. Yeah, it is confusing. I think it's a reference to Fast and Furious. Oh. Which I haven't seen, don't tell anyone. Yeah, me neither.

We're real buzz kills. You've got eight amazing movies to watch. Should I start at the beginning or should I mix it up? Listen, if you're a completist and you want to get the whole story of Dominic Toretto, Letty, the whole gang, start at the beginning. I want Letty to be like a monkey or something. I want one of those to be a person and one of them to be an animal, but I know they're both people. I know.

I think that's what's next for the Fast and Furious franchise is talking animals. Okay. But they really start to get good at five. And I know that's an absurd statement. This is like the wire then, which I haven't seen.

But I feel like everyone's like, you just, you know, by season three, you're hooked. But I had to plow through a lot of episodes to get there. 20 hours of television. Fast and Furious, you know, there's some fun callbacks, some fun characters that return. But if you're just looking for some slam bang entertainment, Fast Five, start there.

Okay. But maybe also don't. Who cares? Is it just called Fast Five? It's inessential viewing. Or is it like Octane City or Night of the Dead? It's just Fast Five. It's Fast Five, right?

Yeah. The only time they've had the colon is Tokyo Drift. Oh, right. And we all know that was a mistake. Yeah. Am I right? Yeah. Thank you.

Yeah. Thank you. I remember seeing the trailers in the theater and thinking, that looks like a fun movie. I would like to see it. But I didn't eight times. Well, listen, you only have three more chances. Right. Okay. So ride or die bitch is from that. I think that's where it's from. I think right uh okay so ride or die bitch is from that i think that's where it's from i think maybe they would say someone is jordana brewster or

something described as that way i cannot say specifically here's something i would like to know and i usually don't like people to uh correct me online yeah but no one does you do know the entomology of ride or die bitches or talk shit get hit i want to know that so hit me up on twitter at jordan underscore let us let us know let us know this is the rare time that i will say correct me do you like when people correct you in real life um i mean i think there are there are ways to correct someone that make you not sound like an asshole. What's one of those ways? Just like, you know, not going, uh, before.

Okay. Don't go, uh. What is the equivalent of that on Twitter? You know, here's the thing. Anytime someone you don't follow on Twitter, so just a rando. They probably have an anime avatar. Every time they correct you, even if it's in the most delicate way possible, I always hear,

uh, yeah. There's a little lip smack. Uh, I meant that, but Melee Booster Gold came from Earth 2. Yeah, I mean, just, I think that is the curse of communicating online is if i don't know you i will assume that is your tone right right well i think that you meant etymology and you said entomology which is the study of estimates cakes right study of bugs i think study of delicious cakes yeah yeah but no i did not go uh no you didn't and

you did that in a nice way. Oh, well, thank you. That was, that was a lovely tone. And, and,

and, you know, you and I are friends, so I will accept that from you. Thank you. I recently referred to someone as an ornithologist, a person, a bird person.

Um, and someone corrected me. It's ornithologist. Actually, they didn't correct me. They just said, did you just say ornithologist and then hashtag OJ? And I actually had to, I wanted to be like, yeah, that's what I meant.

And then I realized, oh, no, I had it wrong. So I'm just saying even I make mistakes. Jenna, do you get online corrected? Oh, all the time. In fact, we talked reality TV previously, and I've had several people with the tone be like, you know it's all fake, right? Oh, boy. All that stuff is set up.

No, I have no idea. Really? Oh, my. What? Oh, what? I can't believe you even believe any of it. Yeah. They're dropping a bomb on you.

So condescending about reality TV. They do. Yeah. And I think that, yeah. I mean, I think we touched on this a little bit and I think that if you – there are people who will just lash out against someone who says they watch a reality show and want to like pound them down into the cultural ground because how could you and – Downton Abbey. The Wire. because how could you and Downton Abbey, the wire. It is this weird gut reaction that I'm a smarty people have.

I feel like I know tons of really smart TV watchers who have a couple of reality shows that they love. They're compelling. Sure. And it is peppered in with a diet of good TV and funny shows. Yeah, we don't just watch Vanderpump Rules. We also watch The Bachelorette. It's peppered in with a diet of good TV and funny shows. And, you know, I think. Yeah, we don't just watch Vanderpump Rules. We also watch The Bachelorette.

Exactly. You watch quality programming as well. Yeah, but Downton Abbey is just like. It's a. Soap opera. It's soap opera set in the 20s. Sure. Yeah. I mean, right.

I think their manor house was the original pump. That's right. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Christian, we got a summer boy call, don't we? Let's hear that summer boy call. Hey, Jordan. Hey, Jesse.

Hey, guest. My name's Dan. I'm a friend over at Can I Pet Your Dog? And in true summer boy style, I looked out my shorts and was getting ready to put them on. But I've been celebrating one month on testosterone and transitioning and been wearing a penis. And my penis is far too big for my shorts now. Now I have to go buy brand new Summer Boy shorts.

And I wanted to know, what color should I get? What style should I get? And that's about it. Thank you. Bye-bye. First of all, big hand for Dan. And being in the Dick Too Big For Your Shorts Club, welcome, Dan, as the ambassador of this particular club. That is a good question. So it's summer. It seems like maybe this is the first time that dan has had to buy a man's wardrobe can you explain to us the summer boy call oh sure the summer boy uh yeah for for noobs uh summer boy is a movement that we started last year

when a uber driver told me that I looked like a real summer boy. And it seemed like it was kind of a mantra, you know, or a way of being. It's to kind of embrace summer, chill, grill, buds, brews, maxing and relaxing. Sure. Brat. Brat. Yeah. Brat. Garaba.

Garaba. We have Brat. Brat. Yeah. Brat. Garaba. Absolutely. Garaba. We have too many dumb running jokes. Anyways, this is what I'm coming to realize. So yeah, Summer Boy is just kind of, it's a way of being, you know, appreciating summer and everything it has to offer. Although this year, we are spelling it B-O-I. That's how I imagined it. Oh, really?

Yeah, I did. Last year it was B-O-Y. Okay. how I imagined it. Oh, really? Yeah, I did. Last year it was B-O-Y. Okay. But now it is the more popular spelling. You're hip to the turn. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yes.

Skater boy. Yeah, yes, exactly. Yeah, you can be a skater boy and a summer boy. So, yes, that is the entomology of summer boy. So, yeah, shorts. Male shorts. Listen, I got a nice pair of khaki shorts from the Bonobos website the other day. They're pretty

versatile. I've been wearing them with t-shirts and collared shirts. Sneakers or sandals if you're going to the beach. So I like those, but also I love a pair of jean cutoffs. I think they're fun and also versatile. So that's what I would suggest.

These are my two favorite shorts. Jorts? Jean shorts? Yeah, they are kind of jorts. Yeah, yeah. How do you feel as the official summer boy? Sure. Listen, I have not—

I feel like the title is given to you. Own it. Own it. I think you should. If we go back to Game of Thrones, and why wouldn't we? I am kind of the high sparrow in that I am – maybe I'm the leader of this movement, but also I don't want to be above anyone. I want to – That's so – You're very –

Ethical summer boy of all the summer boys. Yeah. Right. It's more of a – I don't want to elevate myself above other summer boys. Right. You're very much like the Katniss. Thank you. Thank you.

Yes, exactly. Mockingjay. Yes, I am the Mockingjay of the summer boy movement. So how does the summer boy movement feel about shorts with like little tiny whales on them like the j crew type shorts you know that oh sure yeah i uh i mean i don't think it's something thumbs up just went i know i'm christian loves them i don't think i personally would wear those uh maybe not quite my personal style but i but i like them you support them i like a little yeah i mean i got my first uh aloha shirt of the season uh and I've been wearing it and getting some nice compliments on it.

Is that a Hawaiian shirt? It is a Hawaiian shirt. Or a shirt that says Aloha? Yeah. It's just a t-shirt that says Aloha on it. It's bold. Yeah. It's got some little fish guys on it.

Okay. Little fish guys are a lot of fun. Been wearing them with those khaki shorts I mentioned. I think I like the little will. I like them too. I like a little print on shorts. Have fun with your summer shorts, summer boys. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Are you guys, neither of you are wearing shorts now. No. You're each wearing gowns. We're winter gals. Formal. Yeah, you're very formal for this podcast.

I didn't realize this was not a dressy podcast. Yeah, I know most podcasts are. Yeah, I just wear my typical podcast attire. Sure. Do you guys have a pair of shorts that you have busted out for the season? I don't own shorts. Really? Yeah.

I haven't owned shorts since I was about 14. Okay. Although it has been so hot lately that I've thought to myself, I see the thinking behind shorts. I get it. I just haven't allowed that to see the thinking behind shorts. I get it. Yeah. I just haven't allowed that to translate into me purchasing shorts. Sure. Jenna?

The last pair of shorts that I owned, I actually bought in the men's section. I find that, you know, I don't like a short short. No. And that's all that's offered in the girls' section. Yeah, I mean, with a lady's short these days, you're seeing 40 to 60 percent of the butt yeah yeah yes beef and ass and i can't i can't handle that i don't have time for that so i the last pair i was not enough hours in the day oh no no no yeah it's too chilly once you know air conditioning and it's just too much if your pockets are hanging below the bottom of your shorts that is short short. Sure. That is, yes.

So the last pair I bought were from the men's section, and I thoroughly enjoyed them. And I think I wore them so much, I actually ripped them, and now I don't own a pair of shorts. Are they just a skirt now? Yes, which, again, too breezy for me. Right. So wait, what kind of boys shorts are we talking about? Were they jams? Is that a brand?

That's like, I don't know. It's just a reference to shorts from a long time ago. I think jams are kind of below the knee. These were just above, just above the knee. And did they look? Very comfortable. Like, did they look like girl shorts? Or was it like, look at her wearing boy shorts?

You know, if a real housewife saw me in them, she'd probably be like, those are boy shorts on a girl. But I don't think most people cared. You know what I mean? You can't live your life based on what a real housewife might say. Well, these days I feel like it's really in my head. But they're getting in my head, in my dreams. Into your car, hopefully. I feel like it's really in my head, but they're getting in my head, in my dreams. But no, I... Into your car, hopefully.

To quote the great Billy Ocean. So, no, I don't know if they were stylish, if I'm being honest. But I went through a phase where I was very, I dressed very much, very casual. I went through a phase where it was like those kind of shorts, sneakers, and a loose baggy t-shirt. Probably for about, it was like my summer attire in college. That sounds like a real summer boy look.

I was very much a summer boy with an I. Yeah, B-O-I. It sounds so cute. I did love Avril Lavigne for a short period of my life. She would have worn boy shorts. So it's possible I was channeling that. Do you keep up with Avril? You know, for a while I did, but now I have no clue what's going on in her life. She's been married.

Isn't she married to the Nickelback guy? Or they're getting divorced? It's one of those. I think she had married Canada's two most famous rock stars, the Nickelback guy and the Sum 41 guy. Right. I don't know in which order. I don't know which one she broke up with. guy and the Sum 41 guy. Right. I don't know in which order. I don't know which one she broke up with. She married the 41 guy first.

Right. And then his name's Chad Kroger, right? Something like that. I think that's the Nickelback guy. Yeah. That's what I mean. Yeah. Then she married him.

But I do think she's newly single. If I am remembering my Us Weeklys right. Oh, yeah. Well, Avril, if you're out there, we both love to smell boy with an eye. She'd write a song about you. It would be cool. You won't have to say, see you later, boy, to me, because I'll always be true. I don't know where this is going. I don't know any other Avril Lavigne lyrics. Do you have anything good?

Why You Wanna Be So Complicated. Remember that song? Oh, yeah. That was the real summer jam of my high school graduating experience. It's a good jam. What were the other lyrics? Why You Wanna Go and Make Things So Complicated. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Messing around.

Something, something. Something constipated. I don't know. I don't know the words. Sure. I think it was constipated. That was the weird out version. I think it was constipated. I think you're right. That was the weird out version. Yeah, it was, right?

Well, hey, congratulations to Dan. I hope you find those shorts. And to all the summer boys out there, keep chilling and grilling. We'll see you in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. It's Jordan, Jessica. It's Jordan, Jessica. I'm Jordan Morris. Talk shit. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jordan Morris.

Talk shit. Get hit. Allison Rosen. Person with swollen fingers currently. Yeah, that was not good. That was not good. I am so bad at these. Okay, first of all, you don't have to change them every time.

You can have the same nickname every time you're on the show. I am almost always Jordan Morrisse boy detective i changed it this time because i'm into talk shit get hit i think i might have been like sex pot well get go with it i don't know okay allison rosen sex pot there you go yeah uh jenna kim jones uh currently thinking about becoming a summer boy. It's a lot of fun. Join the club. Producer Christian Duenas out there on the boards informed us that Ride or Die Chick may have been popularized by Jay-Z and Beyonce. That feels right to me. And I guess it's just the crass culture that we're in changed it to bitch at a certain point. So then should I not watch Fast Five? No. Or should I still? No, no. then should I not watch Fast Five? No.

Or should I still? No, no. I think you should watch it now. Okay. I could go. Now more than ever. It's probably on. Right.

This is what America needs. It's probably on demand, right? Do you have HBO Go? Yes. They will pretty regularly have at least a few fast movies on there. Okay. So if you're looking for a high octane adventure that may or may not include ludicrous. That's exactly what I'm looking for.

You can do a lot worse. So thank you guys for being here on this Jesse-less program. Alison Rosen, you are the host of Alison Rosen is Your New Best Friend. Yes, I am. A podcast that includes an interview portion. On Mondays, yes. A chat segment. That's right. Yes, I am. A podcast that includes an interview portion. On Mondays, yes. A chat segment. That's right.

We chat about snacks. We do Just Me or Everyone on every show, which is where we talk about things we think or do that make us wonder, is it just me or everyone? For example,

one that for some reason I can't get out of my head, is it okay to put eye drops in in public? Because someone wrote in and their wife does that and they don't think it's okay well maybe we should like she thinks it's okay just her or everyone i you know i've never been an eye drop person i mean i mean either yeah so i've never

had contacts or anything so i cannot say i think it's okay i would not be grossed out right someone who was eye dropping in public i think the consensus at the table was maybe not like right in the middle of a gala, but then people wrote in and were like, look, I suffer dry eye. You don't understand. Sometimes I need to put in eye drops right in the middle. I need to drop everything and put in my eye drops. So we do stuff like that, fun stuff, not just about eye drops, also about the way people eat olives. I mean, all kinds of stuff. It's important to everyone.

Yeah, what a hard-hitting topic. Yeah. So interview on Monday with a celebrity. And then panel on Thursday, which Jenna is part of. It's a ton of fun. And you can find it at iTunes.com slash Alison Rosen. Or just go to AlisonRosen.com. That was a plug.

Was it okay? Was this the spot for it? No, that was the plug was it okay was this the spot no i didn't know that was the spot for it okay i was prompting the plug i thought yeah yeah by that was a plug i meant you did a great job thanks well very professional thank you i mean you know you you come to this portion of the show and you know hopefully if people didn't know you already they got to know you i mean hopefully they're already following me on twitter at alison sure there you go whoa hopefully they've they've tipped over into the beloved category. Oh, please.

I hope. And they want to find out more. And you had a very concise, interesting, informative plug ready. Oh, thanks. Personally, I don't like these. I'm going to get up on a high horse here. Please. Here's a soapbox.

Climb on top. I don't like these podcast guests. When you get to the end of the show, you had a fun time. Oh, I know where you're going. I know where you're going. You want to know more about this guest. Don't worry about me. I don't know nothing.

Twitter. I guess I'm on Twitter. No. Yeah. Do a concise, polite plug so I can find out more about you. That's right. So I don't have to go down some weird Wikipedia hole to find out the Netflix original show that you're on. Guest.

Right. I agree. Yeah. Be confident with your plug. Be unapologetic. Yes. This is the area of life that I think one should be unapologetic is the end of podcast. Yes.

Tasteful plug. Right. Don't go on and on. What is that? Oh, don't worry about me. I mean, I think it's just, you know. So if you're on a podcast, I am worrying about you. Yeah.

By the way, there's someone who used to be on my podcast who all the time would say, don't worry about me. And I feel like people, I'm talking now to like 34 people. But these 34 people are going to think I'm specifically talking about that person. I'm not. He was the sweetest and I loved that. I loved his bashfulness and his lack of Twitter presence. That's just my impression of someone who does the thing that you're talking about

and I totally feel you on that, Jordan. Jenicum Jones, in addition to being part of Alison Rosen's roundtable, do you have any other comedy projects or podcast projects people could check out? Oh, my goodness. Well, I feel like the pressure's on because Allison's was so excellent. But you can listen to me all over the place. I have a comedy special. Sorry, not sorry with Jenna Kim Jones available on Amazon or my website, Jenna Kim Jones dot

com. It's also playing on Sirius XM radio. If you have that, you can tune in to my comedy on various comedy channels. And also, I do have a podcast. It is called the same thing as my special. Sorry, not sorry. With Jenna Kim Jones. And it features me and my husband.

And we talk about life. We give a lot of advice. Most of it is unwanted, but we enjoy giving it. We talk about food. We have guests on the show. Usually our listeners as guests where we play games and try to trick them and fool them and it's a lot of fun.

You should check that out on iTunes and where other podcasts can be found and also at jennikimjones.com. That was a plug. And succinct. Two informative, fun, polite, tasteful plugs from two informative, polite, tasteful friends. We're never going to be on a reality show. I know. I already know that.

My life is too boring. If you want to watch me watch Netflix, come on over. It'll be the most boring show you've ever seen. If you want to watch me shoot Fat-Free Ready Whip straight into my mouth from the can, tune in for like the next seven months. Pregnancy sounds dope. Yeah. Pregnancy sounds super dope.

I'm Jordan Morris. Christian Duenas, butts on a butt, out there running the boards. Brian Fernandez, producing and editing the show from England. Wow. For The Absent Jesse Thorne, I'm Jordan Morris. Bye. Bye.