Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 485: Clowns in Washington with Brent Weinbach

Episode Date: June 19, 2017

Brent Weinbach joins Jordan and Jesse as they take a break from talking about hummel figurines this week to take a deep dive into the Captain EO revival at Disneyland.  Plus, Brent shares some insight into Michael Jackson's role in the Sonic 3 soundtrack and Jordan reacts to another one of Brent's visceral videos.  

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Of course, every week on Jordan Jesse Goh, whether you are a dealer, a collector, or somewhere in between, we cover the entire world of porcelain Hummel figurines. We'll get news updates, in-depth interviews. Hey, Jesse.

Yes. Real quick. Yes. I know that today we were going to devote the whole hour to Violin Cutie. I love Violin Cutie. Incredible detail on those hands. Yeah. And the fretboard.

And there's a lot of interesting history behind Violin Cutie too, which... I'm bursting at the seams with Cutie history. What do you think we take a little break this week? This seems like a bad week, Jordan, because I have almost all the Cuties. Right.

But I think, you know, we should give our research department a little bit more time to look into this rumor that Violin Cutie is haunted. Right. I think it's something that, you know, as the script stands now, we kind of touch on. There are rumors that Violin Cutie inspires people to murder. There are rumors that the ghost of a Civil War general lives inside Violin Cutie. Right. So why

don't I say let's give the research department let's let the boys down in a cult work on this for just a little bit longer. Okay. You know incantations. Should we are we going to talk about a different Hummel figurine? Well what if this week we just we put the Violin Cutie stuff on the back burner for now.

Right. We focus on Timpani Cutie. That's the one I'm missing. Yeah. Well, I mean, that one's up my butt right now. So it's probably going to take a little while to get her out. Right. Fair enough.

Excuse me, get them out. Right. I didn't note the gender when I put it up my butt. Right. You just noted that it was a tune drum. Right. Yeah. Why don't we just shoot the shit?

We chat. I mean, people know us for our expertise regarding homels. Yeah. I don't think they know who we are as men. Give them a flavor of what it's like to be a younger, middle-aged white man in America today. Exactly. And I think that's a perspective that's sorely lacking in the media landscape. So why don't we chat?

Maybe we... People are afraid to speak up because of PC culture. Exactly. And there's a comedy celebrity sitting in here now. We could turn the mic on him. I think he was just here to listen to us talk about Hummel figurines. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, I think, you know, he talks for a living.

Right. So why don't we give him some agency? Right. Turn on his mic and we'll just chat and people will get to know us. I mean, obviously, Hummels will come up. Sure. Because, I mean, if you get these two guys started, Hummels are going to come up. I got Hummel passion pouring out of my ears right now.

Sure. I have a veteran infection. Could be both. Yeah. So why don't we just gab? Uh-huh. See where things go. Right.

Free-flowing, real, raw, uncensored type talk. Right. And, you know, take a little break from the, you know, from the grind that is Hummel talk. Okay. Just for this week. Just for this week. Just this week. We'll never do this again.

And then next week we'll go back to having a format. Right. And talking about a thing that there's a group of people care about. Yeah. Specifically, is Violin Cutie haunted and is it inspiring a slew of murders? I say yes. Right. Sorry. I mean, I'm getting into it.

I'm going to need to talk to my producer while driving around in a car a little bit to help me figure it out. Yeah. That's the kind of real in thethe-field audio that people want from podcasts. Yeah. Let's introduce our guest on the program this week. One of my favorite stand-up comedians in the entire world. One of the funniest guys I know. An old friend of ours, a brilliant performer. He's got a brand new special on the CISO Digital Network. S-E-E-S-O. His name is Brent Weinbach.

Thank you. Brent Weinbach, great to see you again. Great to see you as well. I was talking about this earlier, but the office is bustling here, and I'm impressed with the energy. Yeah, well, thanks to the support of our donors and, of course, to the kindness of the recent bump in that Hummel market. And not to get you guys started on Hummel Talk, but what are Hummels? Hummels are collectible. What are Hummels?

And I take it that Violin Cutie is one of the hummels. Violin Cutie. Violent? Violin Cutie. Violin. Violin. Okay, yeah. So I'm glad you brought that up.

I don't want to get too deep into it. No, no, no. Sure. What are hummels is a question that each of us faces at some point in our, whether it's our professional career. You're speaking in very broad strokes here. I think he just specifically wants to know what we were talking about for 15 minutes.

Right, right, right. So whether you're a dealer of Hummels or a collector of Hummels, at some point you come to a sort of crossroads. This is a really, it seems like you're dealing in very big questions here. A bridge you have to cross. Just answer the question.

They're these little figurines that grandmas have. They're these little porcelain kids. I've dedicated so much of my passion and energy to these porcelain figures. They're porcelain figures. Yes. And they've been around for a long time. They've been around for a long time. Yes, they have a rich history.

They're animal things. Yeah, animals, little kids. Oh, kids. But what are they really? No, I don't think he wanted to know that. Are they somewhat translucent sometimes? Well, like All Fine China, kids. But what are they really? No, I don't think he wanted to know that. Are they somewhat translucent sometimes? Well, like all fine china, yes. Sometimes. Is there a translucent porcelain? Yeah, porcelain can be, is translucent, I think.

It can be? I think it typically is. Okay. Brett, what did your grandma have in her house? Well, she had these kind of like these dancer type people. You know, they have like big ruffles on their arms, you know? Yeah, sure. Like a cha-cha. Sort of, yeah, cha-cha type people.

Yeah, there was two porcelain cha-cha types. Cha-cha. But they weren't like super small. They were kind of bigger, but they were on the shelf. They had those cha-cha people. They were sort of darker people. Complected. Complected people.

Perhaps the south of the border or... I don't even know. I don't even know exactly where, but they were just... They definitely had a sort of... They'd been out in the sun, perhaps. They could be anything. I don't know, but they definitely had a ruffled look. They could have been Greek.

They could have just been Greek people who liked... They just were roughly and dark. And those were in my grandma's house, yeah. That's cool. So are those Hummels? Probably not Hummels. Hummels you're usually looking at. I don't look.

We already said we're not going to talk about Hummels. We're not here to talk about Hummels today. We're taking a break to take off our belts. We're not talking about Hormels either. That's my chili podcast. It comes out on Thursday, Hormels. We're not talking about Gumbles. That's my podcast about sports and news anchors.

Right. Not talking about Humboldt either, right? No. That's your podcast about marijuana cultivation. Yeah. In one specific area. Yeah. The marijuana of a particular region known for area. Yeah. The marijuana of a particular region. Yeah. Known for marijuana.

Yeah. Well, in my grandma's house in Mission Viejo, California, which is a town you might be familiar with. Oh, yeah. Travel soap. That was the primary. That was the travel soap? I would get sent home with so much travel soap. I guess I don't know what travel soap.

I guess I'm thinking of a tiny bar of soap. Like a tiny soap. Hotel soaps. Like a motel. Hotel soap. I guess I don't know what travel soap. I guess I'm thinking of a tiny bar of soap. Like a tiny soap from like a motel or a hotel. Okay. And my grandmother would send me home with them back to my father's apartment in San Francisco. And I would feel like the richest man in the world. Like I could buy and sell every person in the town of San Francisco because I had so many soaps. Helpful if you ever went to prison. You should put those bad boys in a sock, beat up everybody in the yard.

It doesn't leave a bruise. Exactly. And I feel like at some point my dad said to me, I said to my dad, can you believe that grandma has so many of these little soaps? To suggest that it was like a grand and magical thing. And my dad said to me, yeah, I guess they steal them from motels when they stay there. How many motels do you think your grandma stayed in, A?

Yeah. And B, do you think she was doing it so often because she was a prostitute or a drug mule? And I haven't met her. I bet she's a lovely woman. She's passed on now. Drug mules can be lovely too. Yeah, absolutely.

She's gone to drug mule heaven where you don't even need to use a condom to put heroin up your butt. She could just go bare bones. Sorry, Grandma. Yeah. Yeah, I think they traveled a fair amount. She also would use like a TWA shoulder bag. Okay. You know that kind of bag I'm talking about?

Yeah, yeah. Like it's red vinyl. It has a TWA logo and you just got it for buying a plane ticket. I guess there are those like retiree trips. She really did those things fully. Like talking Hoover Dam. We're talking. She also always was wearing a muumuu.

Okay. I thought you were about to say she really did those things for me. Yeah. For me. For the soap, you know, to give me soap yeah i mean they traveled like i don't want to go to yuma but what am i going to give jesse when he comes to get him some hotel so i have to yeah he's and i can't go to the same hotel i gotta switch it up yeah he wants a double tree my my bar from a double tree my My paternal grandfather, my dad's dad, got encephalitis, a brain infection, when he was like 50 and could no longer work.

You could talk to him, interact with him, and he seemed fine. He just seemed kind of taciturn. But he couldn't work at the level that he had been able to work at before. He would get confused with numbers and he was an accountant. So they retired and he at that point was – he was very successful I think. And they like traveled the world and I seen their books of pictures of traveling the world and they went everywhere and never not on a package tour with matching outfits with the other people on the package tour. Like there's no exception. And they're not like luxury trips either. It is just classic 1977. Sure.

Like slideshow vacation. Slideshow vacation. Just purely. It's just like them. We're going to Boulder, Colorado. Them sitting on a wooden cutout of a camel in front of the actual pyramids at Giza. Like that is every photograph

in the entire. I guess I was thinking more local travel. I was thinking a lot of national parks and stuff. Well, they did that too, but they really went. They went to places across the world, but only on affordable package tours. Wait, so are you saying you got little hotel soaps from Egypt? I most, I probably got some from exotic places. So these are exotic hotel soaps.

The most exotic thing I got was a T-shirt that said, my grandma and grandpa went to Australia, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt. Wow. And then with that, I got an Australian joke book, which had a joke in it that included the word Chinaman, which I did not know was not an appropriate word. Sure. Probably should have known when I told that joke at the dinner table at my friend Tony McCauley's house, who was half Chinese. Wait, why is Chinaman not a good word? Because isn't Englishman like okay and a Frenchman?

And so if someone's from China, they're a Chinaman. Yes, but it's tainted with a long... I think it has a history. ...racial history. I think it's how you say it, though. A history of oppression. How you say it.

Well, I said it gleefully in the context of a joke from an Australian joke book. I bet there were probably all a lot of jokes about Maoris in there, too, that probably you didn't get as a kid. Yeah, like Maoris, huh?

Wait, did the shirt at least have a pouch on in the front of it? Yeah, it did. A mucus-filled pouch. What was weird? So you could carry your baby.

The tiny little pink kangaroo that was in there. It was a real-life kangaroo fetus. Yeah. I guess creepier if it was a human fetus.

Like this is your human pouch. Or it's supposed to be you. It's like made in the likeness of you. Produced in the likeness. We sent the t-shirt man your picture ahead of time so he could create this fetus to wear in your t-shirt pouch. Through genetic engineering. Yeah.

It's real, you know? This t-shirt costs $800,000. Yeah, no, it's interesting. I guess I have never seen a my blank went to blank and all I got was this lousy T-shirt in the wild before. Oh, I had one. Did you get some wear out of that? The things that I got out of my grandparents as a child that were treasured garments, got that. One time they visited San Francisco and we went to some shitty thing like Pier 39 or something. And somebody was selling karate suits.

They got me a karate suit. Nice. Not like a real one you would use to do karate. My grandparents went to San Francisco and all I got was this lousy gi. Was there at least like a pouch on the karate suit? Filled with ninja stars. Fugimukasi ninja stars. It was a bread bowl attached to it.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. With clam chowder in it. And I also got a Los Angeles Rams sweatshirt that I treasured very deeply. But the karate suit was the main and a glow in the dark. One time we went to Disneyland and I got a glow in the dark

Captain EO sweatshirt. That one, if I had that right now i would rock it yeah yeah it would probably be small on the small side but yeah at least use it as a scarf yeah i would probably use it as a scarf or a head wrap i know you know like you know vintage t-shirt is is a is a pretty youshirt is a pretty out fad, but I would absolutely rock a Bart Simpson underachiever and proud of it t-shirt. If I got a threadbare Bart Simpson underachiever. I used to have a sweatshirt that was a Bart Simpson genius at work sweatshirt where he's reading a comic book, but it's inside of a textbook. Fucking classic Bart. That is so Bart. You know what also is kind of classic now? Those bootleg

Bart Simpson shirts. Yeah, sure. Sticking the middle finger up. Probably wouldn't be Bin Laden. Rasta Bart. You know, he had the dreadlocks and they're sticking up the middle finger. My holy grail of my travels from vintage show to vintage show. And by the way,

while the kind of vintage T-shirt that we are imagining is a little passe, a 1990s vintage T-shirt is the furthest thing from passe. Extremely expensive. Extremely hot. You can get you a... If you're in the thrift store

and you pick up a vintage cross-colors T-shirt, you got $200. Yeah, yeah, we were talking about that. Is that true? $200. Too expensive now for that? Yeah, absolutely. But my holy grail

is obviously is Air Bart. So if you're out there, Air Bart. Yeah, it's Bart Simpson doing the Michael Jordan dunk and also Bart Simpson's black. Okay, it's a bootleg. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, I like that. I bought, when I went to Ireland as a 10-year-old, so that would be 1991, with my dad, I remember the most amazing thing in the world to me was that they had $5 Bart Simpson t-shirts. And I think I bought like four Bart Simpson t-shirts, so they were clearly bootleg Bart Simpson t-shirts. If you're out there, I know we have a policy on this show. Don't send us your shit just because we have a policy on this show don't send us your shit just because we talk

about it on the show yeah don't mail us your garbage yeah just because we talk about it on the show if you do have some

vintage Bart Simpson shit out there mail it on in I know forget the last part of this where we said it was valuable and you could probably

sell it on eBay mail it to your old buddies at Max Fun huh can I tell you bootleg or otherwise Bootleg or otherwise. Bootleg or otherwise. Yeah, real Bart.

Original style, yeah. Fake Bart. Island Bart. I look on eBay for... Bart with fat woman sitting on him and his head poking out of the butt crack. I look for Air Bart periodically on eBay. I haven't successfully found it,

but the one Air Bart thing that I do find is Carnival, like a mirror that you would win at a Carnival. That would say Bart Simpson or Guns N' Roses. Those probably would be your two choices. Those are the two things. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and I've thought about getting you one before. But then I thought, I don't know if Jordan needs this in his life. No, you gave me one of those.

I did? You did. You gave me it for a birthday one year. And it fell off my wall and broke in an earthquake. Ah! So. Oh. What one was it? Was it Bart or Guns N' Roses? It was Bart.

It was Bart dunking. It was great. I cherished it, and I was very, very sad when it fell. Dunking? I think that shows how much I thought about it. Yeah. I thought about it for so long that I forgot that at some point in thinking about it, I actually bought it.

Yeah. I loved it. I was very sad when it- Was it it, I actually bought it. I loved it. Was it expensive? I don't know. It wasn't super expensive. I spent a little bit of money on it, but it wasn't a three-digit investment. Maybe I spent $25 or

$30 on it, all told. That's fair. That's a fair price. It seemed like a fair price at the time. I want to be clear. If you have any AirBart merchandise that might fit me, go ahead and send that to me. Send it over. When you say AirBart, I think of the AirBart at the Oakland Airport or whatever. I will also say this.

have anything related to the bus or train that travels between the Oakland Airport BART station and the Oakland Airport itself, or the Oakland Airport slash Coliseum BART station. I call it Coliseum BART. I'm more likely to be going to a sporting event than traveling. Hey, if you have anything out there of that train dunking or with a fat woman sitting on it and its train head poking out from the butt crack. I look at Captain EO t-shirts on eBay too. I think a lot about that glow-in-the-dark Captain EO sweatshirt I had.

I loved the original Captain EO. I didn't like what they did to the re-release. Do you remember that? What did they do? Did you notice differences? Did they make it so that Han Solo shoots first or whatever? Han Solo? Yeah. He's not in that, is he? No, that's what they did when they changed Star Wars.

That's what George Lucas did to Star Wars when they re-released it. He made it so Greedo shot first. Oh, got it, got it, got it. Han Solo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. All the Star Wars characters are in it on this new one. Yeah, right.

And Star Trek characters too. What did they change about it? So here's what they did. For those who don't know captain eo was an attraction at disneyland in the 1980s that was a collaboration of like george lucas steven spielberg i think coppola directed francis ford coppola yeah like 17 like 17 of the greatest filmmakers of all time collaborated on this and it was a 3d short film, like maybe 20 minutes long, something like that. Yeah, 15 maybe.

Yeah, 15, 20 minutes long. A musical starring Michael Jackson as the leader of a group of- Angelica Houston as well. Angelica Houston, great in that. Obviously Star Wars inspired space creatures that were, well, let me put it this way. They were here to save the world. This is a great film. Yeah.

And the music is great. One of the songs is from Bad. Bad. Part of me. Another part of me. Another part of me. But another one was. I'm Space Bad.

Space know it. Another one was, it seemed it was written for this movie. Don't you want to shoot me right into space? Who's space? And it's really good. Good special effects. Good, great choreography. And I love it.

It's really good. And here are the changes. So it went away. It went away and they replaced it with Honey, I Shrunk the Audience. Honey, I Shrunk the Audience. And then it came back after Michael Jackson died. Brent, are you a theme park fan or a scene-y-ast? A scene-y-ast?

Yeah. What's a scene-y-ast? A fan of fine film. Oh, I'm a fan of both. Okay, great. And Captain EO was just that. Yeah. The intersection.

It was the intersection right there, yeah. So when it came back, I am a fan of theme parks. I used to go to theme parks more often. I know a lot about Disneyland, too, actually. Because my cousin worked there. Anyway, that's a whole other story. So they brought it back after he died, and they made some changes. Some of the changes were they put moving parts to the seats so that the seats would move

to the music. That's neat. And I don't like that. Because it was distracting. They forced you to dance. Well, it was distracting. I want to sit there and watch the thing, and it just was taking me out of it because the seats weren't even moving to the beat.

They were just kind of moving around. And you're full of churros. I didn't like that that the problem is the seat is making you do the lombada that's a forbidden dance okay i wasn't supposed to be doing that 18 and up warning on this thing yeah and um they also um uh there was i i kind of forgot some of the other things but i just remember i didn't like it but the seats stood out the most, you know? They were the most distracting thing. I even want to say that the seats moved. Okay, they moved to the music, but they also moved during some of the action sequences, too, to sort of get you in, you know, immersed more.

They wanted to add. It sounds like they wanted to add a fourth dimension. Yeah, I guess that's what was going on, I guess. You know what the real fourth dimension is? Love? It's not moving seats. Is it love? Yeah, sure. Cool. Why not? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I was going to say I guess. You know what the real fourth dimension is? Love? It's not moving seats. Is it love? Yeah, sure. Cool.

Why not? Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say fun, but those are the two. You know what the fifth dimension is? What's that? It's a group from the 60s and 70s. Oh, yeah.

Lots of hits, you know, like the Up, Up and Away song. Up, up and away in my beautiful balloon. Space balloon. Space balloon. Okay. Most songs were originally about space. Yeah, yeah. And then when they redid them, they weren't anymore, and that's why they wasn't. But there was also a cool thing that happened in the original, as I recall, where there's these lights that were in the auditorium or in the theater that lit up with the stars that were in the film.

Do you remember this? There were lights that were on the screen somehow. And I don't know. There was this cool effect with all the lights. Anyway, they didn't have that. But anyway, whatever. You know what? It's kind of bullshit.

Captain EO? No. That they changed EO. They should have preserved it is all I'm saying. Sure. I think so too. They were trying to make it better. I hate it when they update stuff at Disneyland because there's so many classic great rides

like the submarine ride and then they updated it with Finding Nemo and these hologram projections and that just cheapened it I think. Have we talked about how definitely the submarine was my favorite ride at Disneyland? I think so. Yeah. I don't know why that is. Submar submarine was my favorite ride at Disneyland? I think so, yeah. I don't know why that is. The submarine was great. It was one of my favorites. You get to see a mermaid.

You get to see a sea monster with googly eyes. It was one of my favorites. I really enjoyed it. And now it's not as much a favorite. You're not a big Finding Nemo head. It's not even about that. It's about the cheapness of projected holograms. It clashes with the cool, actual stuff that's underwater there. Sure. I think to me the thing that was exciting about a submarine ride

is that everything else is a ride, which is great. I mean, did I have a good time with my close personal friend P.W. Herman on the Star Wars ride? Sure. That's a ton of fun. But the submarine ride, you're like like is this a real submarine i think i'm underwater yeah that's amazing as long as you don't turn your eyes slightly up and see the top as long as you don't look slightly up it's a nice simulation though it is nice it does it just feels

like you are in another but you are underwater right you are yeah you are actually underwater you're legitimately underwater yes and um also you know that up until the 80s, they had real live women as mermaids there. Oh, I didn't know that. That were in the water. Huh. I mean, not underwater, but they were in the top of the water. Wow. They were underwater with scuba diving gear on.

So they would just hold their breaths, and then when the thing would come, they would dive, wave, wink at daddy, and then head back up to the top. You gotta wink at daddy. But anyway, one unchanged ride that is one of my favorites because it is such a time capsule

is the Enchanted Tiki Room. Oh yeah, sure. Almost perfectly unchanged since 1964 when it came out with the exception of the omission of one of the songs. But that's it. This may be probably a little racist. Is that why it was taken out? No, no. I think it was just to make it a little shorter.

I don't know. Sure. Just give it a little zip. Yeah, yeah. But it's fine. I'm fine with that. The British Invasion. Yeah, yeah. But it's fine. I mean, I'm fine with that. The British invasion. Yeah.

And then, of course, heavy metal. Sure. Had to deal with that. Right. The rap revolution. Sure. Changed music forever. Got to deal with that.

Then what do you do with Detroit techno? Oh, my God. Those hard-driving electronic beats drive dance floors wild. It was the one song that wasn't about space. And to keep up with the times and when everyone was starting to do space songs, they had to take it out. Exactly. And then the Challenger disaster, of course. Sure.

We all remember that. Right. Because they do have that weird, you know, in the first, when the Tiki Room first came out, there was that song, a spaceship can never explode. Yeah. Exactly. And then it did. And they're like, what do we do? Where are we as a nation? They said to themselves, exactly. And then it did, and they're like, what do we do? Where are we as

a nation? They said to themselves, ooh, you know? Brent, as you said, you at one point knew a lot about Disneyland. You had a cousin that worked there. Is there something that lay people might not know about Disneyland that someone who knows a lot about it would? Is there

a fun fact you can blow our mind with? I'm trying to remember now. I wish I remembered everything. If I was there, it would. Is there a fun fact you can blow our mind with? I'm trying to remember now. I kind of, I wish I remembered everything. If I was there, it would all come back to me, you know, but there's like cool rooms

and things like in the fire, like the firehouse, you know, there's like some cool stuff there, but I kind of forgot all of it. I feel like if you work at Disneyland, oh, you know the most sexual locations. The most sexual,

like where people go to do it? Yeah. I remember the OC Weekly as a kid printed a list of where to get busy at Disneyland. Tom Sawyer's Island. Tom Sawyer's Island, that's one. Jordan, did you ever make out at Disneyland? I did not. Late bloomer, afraid of girls when I would have been making out at disneyland age something

just came to mind the the presidential car do you guys know about the presidential car on the train no so it's the last car it's the caboose um it's special you can't get into it normally you can't wait in line and get into it you have to kind of know somebody or have some sort of special connection to get into the presidential car and And my cousin got us into the presidential car, the caboose. And what's funny is when we were in there, I think it felt like we were special needs people that were in there. Because it's like, why else would we be in there? And we kind of, I don't know,

I felt like our group sort of looked that way naturally as well. So anyway, but yeah, that's one little i think presidential car my my father is disabled i think that ruined disneyland for me sure yeah going without the uh you know the front of the line type privileges that come with yeah it seems like garbage is a weird world right yeah but like the fact that i could that previously i could just go from ride to ride enjoying myself, and then now I would have to wait an hour. I don't like the ride that much. That was the problem. I do like Dole Whip.

Pretty good. Dole Whip's good. Dole Whip's something they'll tell you about at Disneyland. Yeah, Dole Whip is pretty good. I like the mint julep in New Orleans. Can I tell you that I thought I really liked the mint julep in New Orleans Square, and the last time I was at Disneyland, I was like, we should go to that restaurant in New Orleans Square. You get those mint juleps.

And I got it. It was one of the worst meals I've ever eaten in my life and one of the worst beverages I've ever had. You didn't like the mint julep. I mean, I can't vouch for the food, but I like the mint julep. So it's non-alcoholic? Yes, correct. What's in it, I guess?

It's just a minty, sugary kind of drink. It's like a mint lemonade sort of deal. It's not even lemony, though. It's just purely mint drink. Yeah. You know, here's my advice. You add a little water, dilute it a little bit with some water. Really interesting.

This is what you do. You get one, spread it. Brent, what. Really interesting. This is what you do. You get one, spread it. Brent, what's your advice? This is what you do. You pour half of it into another cup, share it with somebody else, and you just add water. So I should share it with a friend? Yeah. That sounds like a lot of fun.

Can I share it with a lover? If you want to get risky. Yeah. If you want to get freaky. Are you concerned about being too horny in public? Yeah, that is always a concern for me. Especially at theme parks. You better watch out, man.

New Orleans. That is horny. Next thing you know, you're lifting up your shirt. Jordan, you know what they call New Orleans? Horny town. Oh, I thought you were going to call it. I thought you were going to call it. You know what they call New Orleans.

I thought you were going to call it New Horlands. New Hornlands. Hornlands. New Hornlands. call it i thought you're calling you know what they call new orleans i think you're gonna call it new horlans oh new hornland hornland new horn new hornlands uh or horn orleans horn orleans um hornlands horny town qualens qualens if you live there you call it qualens It's me, celebrity chef Paul Perdomo. And I'm horny. I yell Zatarain's when I come. My dick is as hard as a diamond. I did, by the way, I have a review of the mint julep. You can watch it online. Oh, yeah? Yeah review of the Mint Julep on, you can watch it online. Oh, yeah?

Yeah, just a Mint Julep, Disneyland, Best Kept Secret, Mint Julep review. And there's a follow-up video, which is a Dole Whip, you know, the Pineapple Dole Whip review as well. So check those out. Was the Pineapple Dole Whip review, was that positive or negative? Just watch the video. Okay. They are positive, actually. They're positive for both of them, I would say, yeah.

For hepatitis C. For HIV. In that OC Weekly article that I remember so well from my youth, the number one place to get it on- Oh, it wasn't Tom Sawyer. It was the Splash Mountain, because the way you sit in Splash Mountain- You get all wet. Well, yeah. First of all, you're getting wet.

You're getting wet one way or the other. Folks, we've got a comedian with us on the show this week. So you're getting wet. And, hey, I guess if, you know, again, some casual racism from another time. Right. That'll get you nice and horned up. From another time. Right.

That'll get you nice and horned up. But the way you sit in it is, you know, it's this kind of long bench that you straddle and the other person kind of leans back into you. And the idea is you can, if you're sitting like that, you can grab some goods. Oh, yeah. Sure. You can grab some goods. Sure. But it's also like, you mean, like, it's also someone's like kind of butt area is kind of going up against your crotch area. Of course.

So there's something going on. Like you can catch some goods in that sense as well. Like from your butt can catch someone's goods. I call that a little bump and grind. The old bump and grind. The old New Orleans bump and grind. But also if anything happens, if there's any accidents, you got the water to camouflage it. Yeah, sure. It's like, oh, i just got wet on the ride yeah anyway just like yeah i took a nap i didn't pee my pants that's

the accident that i had i just peed my pants i got stopped on in uh splash mountain once uh in the middle of the ride really on our way up uh the first like incline or whatever in the middle of it ride stopped and we had to get out the ride shut down for a while and we got to walk through the sets and stuff and that was kind of neat and then they took us to this back area of the ride and beat the shit out and um it was okay though because i was all wet and stuff so they couldn't nobody could tell yeah you're like j Jesus Christ, dogs! I was back. We were back.

It was interesting. There was all these old logs stacked up or these unused logs that were stacked up in piles. And you could see the freeway, which was really crazy because in Disneyland, they make a specific effort to hide the outside world from you. And to be in Disneyland or on Disneyland grounds and see the freeway and see cars and stuff,

that was really weird. And- Billboard for a strip club. Yeah, right. There are the, you know, see the discount sign for the Mongolian Steakhouse across the street. Yeah. Rock and gem collection at the Holiday Inn.

Right. It was just really weird to see this other side, almost this David Lynchian other side of Disneyland. Where it's these stacked up logs and things were kind of just crummy looking. But anyway, and gates. I think there was, I don't want to say that, I might be embellishing to say there was barbed wire on the gates or whatever and stuff. But I don't think there probably was. Maybe there was, I don't know. But there was definitely a chain link fence.

There were gun turrets. Weren't there gun turrets? Yeah, probably. Yeah. Now that you mention it, yes. And the hounds. And anyway, the point is we got free pass. We got to be like you back in your glory days.

We got to go back on the ride when it didn't have to wait in line. That's living. But anyway, it was kind of cool to see that. That also happened on Space Mountain, too, the same day. We got stopped on Space Mountain also. You got some sort of ride jinx on you, Weinbach. Something, yeah. And we stopped.

That where I just stopped in the middle. We didn't have to get out. But have you ever seen the lights on in Space Mountain? They turn the lights on. There's like all these pipes everywhere. It's kind of interesting. Interesting. I wouldn't have thought there would have been a lot of pipes.

There's all these pipes everywhere. Can I give you a fun fact about Space Mountain? Please. The original name of Space Mountain when they were conceiving of it. Right. Bad Mountain. Which is Mountain. Mountain.

Bad Mountain. That's all. So I had always wanted to, because of reading that article, I always had fantasies of someday grabbing some goods on Splash Mountain. Sure. With your butt. With my butt. But the last time I went to Disneyland, that ain't happening anymore because there's individual

seats now. Oh, really? Oh, wow. It's never going to happen for me, guys. You know what other ride was kind of like that? It was Matterhorn. Yeah. Which they changed also, but they used to have a thing where you sat in the crotch

of somebody. But now it's individual seats. Sure. Well, maybe we could write Walt Disney a letter and ask him what's the most crotchiest

ride on Disney? Sure, yeah. Well, it was definitely one of those, right? Yeah. Because Matterhorn, God, if you farted,

you could fart right in between someone's legs in that one. It was a real situation. That's amazing. That's so beautiful. Yeah. My cousin said one time he was riding.

It's weird because they paired you up with strangers, too, I think. Sure, yeah. You would sit in between strangers. Maybe I'm embellishing, but I think that my cousin Kevin had to sit with someone and then claims that when the ride was over, he heard the guy go, with someone and then claims that when the ride was over, he heard the guy go, while he was sitting in between his legs or something like that,

or vice versa. You know, you're shaking around up there on the horn. Okay. You're going to get a fart jostled out of you. We'll be back in just a second. I'm Jordan. Jesse go. Are you tired of getting your world news from reliable sources, often with no puns or sexual innuendo? Why was there a butcher's hat haunting Coronation Street? What's Coronation Street, and why is Dave Holmes obsessed with it?

International Waters pairs a team of comedians in L.A. against a team of comedians in London in a pop culture battle royale. Join us once a fortnight to hear the best comedians in the world trade jokes and stories and maybe even learn something at the same time. world, trade jokes and stories, and maybe even learn something at the same time. International Waters with me, Dave Holmes. Find it at MaximumFun.org or wherever you download podcasts. It's Jordan and Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Brent Weinbach, guy.

Okay. We have sponsors on this week's program, detective. Brent Weinbach, guy. Okay. We have sponsors on this week's program, Jordan. I'd love to hear about them. That's great news because they pay us to say these words. And I love it. I love to say the words. I love to collect their muns. You got it.

Well, let's talk first about our friends at Squarespace. Yes. Or as the Italians call them, Squattis Space. Jordan, Jesse Goh is supported in part by Squarespace. Squ. Or as the Italians call them, Squarespace. Jordan, Jesse, go. It's supported in part by Squarespace. Squarespace. Make your next move with Squarespace. Yeah.

It doesn't really matter what you do in life. Yeah. Okay. You could, maybe you make candlesticks. Yeah, maybe. You can sell candlesticks. Maybe you have a one-person show. Maybe you're Rihanna.

Yeah. Right. What is Rihanna but the Maybe you have a one-person show. Maybe you're Rihanna. Yeah, right. What is Rihanna but the world's most successful one-person show? Exactly. Maybe you sell bootleg copies of Trap Penguin Activate. Hey, these are things you could do with Squarespace. You create a beautiful website with one of Squarespace's award-winning templates, an all-in-one platform. There's nothing to install, patch, or upgrade ever.

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Give them a call. Give them a call. Give them a call. For a free trial and 10% off your first purchase, visit squarespace.com slash JJGO. That's an incredible value. Hey, we got another sponsor here on the program. This is Zip Recruiter. Are you hiring? Do you know where to post your job and find the best candidates? Well, of course, Jordan, the internet.

Yeah, but more specifically, ZipRecruiter. You can post your job to 100 plus job sites with just one click. That's called a century trick. The whole ZipRecruiter century. Find out today why ZipRecruiter has been used by businesses of all sizes to find the most qualified job candidates with immediate results. Well, Jordan, I don't want to pay for it right now. Yeah. Well, why don't you try it for free by going to ZipRecruiter.com slash JJGo.

You can try it for free. Wait. ZipRecruiter.com slash JJGo? Yeah, that's where you go. One more time. To try it for free, they should go to ZipRecruiter.com slash JJGo? Yeah. To find the most qualified job candidates with immediate results.

Wow. That's a true century trick. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, Go. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, Brent Weinbach you've probably been coming on Jordan Jesse Go 10 years now well I first came on your radio show in Santa Cruz probably in 2004 I think yeah

right that sounds about right or maybe even 2003 actually no no no I think 2004 is when we officially met but we'd been in touch

prior to that I think a little bit but I think anyway 2004 yeah Brent Weinbach yeah I just wanted to share with you guys something you know I think a little bit, but I think... Anyway, 2004, yeah. Brent Weinbach. Yeah.

I just wanted to share with you guys something. You know, our colleague Christian Duenas sometimes runs the board for us. He loves games and fun. He's got a desk full of video game consoles, including that Sega Genesis that you got for me as a gift, Jordan. I was just playing Bulls vs. Blazers in the NBA playoffs on that. Good to hear. Getting my butt kicked by the computer.

And he ordered on Amazon something called, and I'm holding the box here. It's like a thin ice type of game. Is thin ice the one where there's wet paper towels? Oh, yeah. Or is it the one where it's like a punch-out? Where it's like a punch-out and you have to punch the... I don't know. I mean, I remember...

Thin Ice definitely had like a sheet of something that would fall through eventually. I don't think it's Thin Ice. Danny, tell me what is the name of the real one? I remember the theme song to Thin Ice. You run Thin Ice? You run Thin Ice? Danny, tell me, what is the name of the real one? I remember the theme song to Thin Ice. You're on Thin Ice? Something like that. Brent, you're very good with the theme songs of our youth.

I feel like you're good with TV theme songs. Oh, definitely TV. I love TV show theme songs. That's my favorite kind of music. I need an answer for you, and we'll talk about Penguin Trap in just a second here. Did Michael Jackson make songs for Sonic the Hedgehog 2?

Yes. Part 3. 3. Yeah, absolutely. Not Sonic 2. I'm connected to it, too, in a weird way. How's that? Well... You have had a video game music podcast? I still have. Legacy Music Hour? Yeah. So you are an expert on these matters yes um okay well here's the thing

uh for one thing it was speculated for a while that michael jackson there was a rumor that michael jackson had been working on sonic the hedgehog 3 and then left there was rumor that he left because of the molestation allegations and um and then but then there was people could hear his music in the game for example the credits music sonic hedgehog 3 sounds like stranger in moscow michael jackson song and then there's other elements too like the carnival music the carnival zone music sounds like jam you hear the and you hear glass break sounds like jam and then there the da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da and you hear glass break sounds like jam. And then there's other elements too that sound like Michael Jackson.

So it was speculated and then people were pretty sure Michael Jackson's music was still used in it. Finally it was confirmed. I think 2011 a producer that he worked with a lot named Brad Buxer confirmed it in a French magazine that he did indeed work on

Sonic 3 and they did use some of his music that was used in it. And the reason he left was because he wasn't happy with the sound quality that was coming out of the Sega Genesis. Now, can you imagine how unhappy he would have been with the sound quality had it been on Super Nintendo? Sure. The Sega Genesis had much better sound, stereo sound on the Genesis. Yeah, I mean, it depends on who was working with it, but, I mean, you know, it depends on the sound designer.

Well, in this case, we're talking about Michael Jackson, the king of pop. I mean, the sound definitely can be really good on the Genesis, and then sometimes on the Super Nintendo it can be really good, too. Okay, I'm done with this topic. Daniel, what's the name of this game in real life? Don't Break the Ice. Don't Break the Ice. So Thin Ice is the paper towel game. Don't Break the Ice. Don't Break the Ice. So Thin Ice is the paper towel game. Don't Break the Ice is the game that this is.

He ordered this on Amazon, and he told me he paid something like $10 to $15 for it. It's called Funny Game Penguin Trap Activate. Active or activate? Activate. Activate. Funny Game Penguin Trap Activate. I like that this is definitely from america by the way i still need to give you guys a little bit more of that connection

please no no right thing real quick brad buxer the producer he has often frequent collaborator and you can see him in the halftime show he did at the super bowl he's the guy wearing a blue shirt playing keyboards he rented a house from my dad that my dad built that was my next door neighbor's house. It was the house that was next to me. And I used to collect rent checks from him, from Brad Bruckner. And I was collecting rent checks around the time that they would have been working on Sonic the Hedgehog 3.

So in some small way, I might have had some tiny bit of influence on the Sonic the Hedgehog 3 soundtrack just in that I showed up to collect the rent checks and who knows what that effect Sure, maybe you were humming a little tune. Maybe you were going like, da-da-da-da-da, here to get the rent. Or even my presence, you know, might have had some effect on his psyche that it influenced the music. When a butterfly flaps its wings, something else happens. I'm just trying to say, like, I worked on Sonic the Hedgehog 3 soundtrack along with

Michael Jackson. As a guy who cares a lot about video game music what do you think of the soundtrack to Sonic 3 it's not as good

as part 1 and 2 okay part 1 and 2 are really good anyway but part 1 has I mean there's some great music

that's a classic Green Hill Zone yeah gotta love Green Hill Zone Penny Funny Game Penguinrap Activate. This is what the box says. It says, the one who makes the penguin fall off the...

will lose this game. Motherfucker. Okay, so this is like a poorly translated game or something? I want you guys to know that I did not... There was no audio glitch. It says, the one who makes the penguin fall off the, we'll lose this game. Don't fall into the trap of the opponent. See who can get the final victory.

Wow. Can we play? Or you don't, it's over there. Yeah, it's over there. I mean, basically the gameplay is use blocks to build, install the four pillars. The penguin is placed in the middle position, beating any color at the start of the game. Okay, I get it. It looks fun.

Yeah. So it's a pretty simple. He has hammers, a penguin who looks like he doesn't give a shit that people are hammering around him. I think the company that made Thin Ice, by the way, also made the Cooties game. Oh, right. They had similar packaging. Yeah, and it was the, the Cooties game

were these creatures that you put the, like the legs in and stuff. I was wondering, because when Christian said he bought it on Amazon, I don't know how he got to it. On it.

I don't know if he was searching Penguin Game. Sure. Funny box words. I just want to laugh at a box. But I just went ahead and searched for Penguin Trap on there. First of all, there's like seven different sellers with listings for the Penguin Trap. Makes sense.

All of them exemplary reviews. That's good. Just spectacular reviews. So I opened one of them. This one is just sold by a woman named Teresa Wong. It says, Ships from and sold by Teresa Wong. She seems nice. She does seem nice.

She seems like a nice young woman. It has this section called Features and Details. It says, About this section called Features and Details. It says about this item, features, exercise visual, bright, not dazzling color is conducive to the development of the baby's discernment, appreciation, beauty of the sensibility. Oh, so this is for developing babies. Yeah, sure. For developing adults. Anytime you're... Presidential object permanents. Also like presidential car riders. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think a lot of times what you're looking for is something with small parts so that they slide easily down the baby's windpipe. Yes, yeah. Because anything too big could get stuck. But if it's got a nice small part, they slide easily down the baby's windpipe. Yeah, and you want to get one right. You want to just get right in the nose, but then turn just slightly so it's hard to get out. Right. Other features of the game, sports skills through a small hit action to let the baby move up.

So that's good. I mean, can you imagine, Jordan? I know you played a little bit of Little League. I don't think you played sports in high school. But can you imagine? You might have even gotten an NCAA scholarship had you had the sports skills as a baby from playing this game that is for 10- or 12-year-olds. Yeah, I mean, I think just the thing I always had a problem with was the hit action. Right.

Well, you need a small hit action if you want to move up. That's what my dad always said before he left. Another feature, hand-eye coordination ability, the combination of the way the game disc to develop children's hands-on awareness, training children's hand flexibility, promote the coordinated development of children's hand. They are really making some big claims about this $10 game. Yeah. And finally, I mean, probably most significantly, brain development, so that the penguin fall in the process of percussion to enhance the children's ability to respond to the child's

brain development exercise. So are you getting one of these for your family? Yeah, I think I am. To raise a kind of an army of super children? Well, it's recommended for six months and up. Okay. Hey, that fits. I don't know if that...

I don't know. I'm looking at the reviews. The average review is 4.4 out of 5 stars. That's good. We've got Penguin Drap is one of the most cheaply made games I've ever seen. I feel cheated having paid $10 for this product. This game would be better suited to carnival handouts to children that catch those little magnetic fish. That's specific.

But did his small hit action improve? That is the thing that he doesn't say. I bought this as an impulse buy. Well, God, I am going to get myself a penguin trap today. I'm going to cheat on my diet. I got to look at consumer reports and see which one they recommend. I actually could see buying that on an impulse, actually. Like at the store at Rite Aid.

You're at Rite Aid. You're browsing. You got an ice cream cone. You're just eating your ice cream cone, browsing products. And you see this. And you see, oh, this looks kind of fun. You hit little blocks out of a thing. I'm thinking, okay, I'll buy.

How much is this? Oh, $10? You know what? I'll split it with you. You and your friend go in together on a penguin trap. This looks like a pretty funny game, you might say. It looks kind of fun, even, actually. Not just funny.

It looks fun, actually, to me as a developing person. The penguin itself looks like a deformed radioactive version of a penguin, which probably does not want to fall... does want to fall through the icy floor and die. The game... No, there is a little... I did see it out there. There is a button that you push on the back of the penguin where he just says, kill me.

Yeah. End me. My favorite sentence in this review so far is, the spinner that comes with this game is a joke. It's a joke. And honestly, this game isn't all that fun. Yeah. Sorry.

I said it. Wow. No sacred cows with this guy. Truth to power. Truth to power. I know spinners. I have spun spinners in my day, and this is not one. I think one time I really found myself engrossed in the game.

One time. Just one time. Okay, well, for 10 bucks, that's pretty good. This, by the way, a three-star review. Oh, out of four or five? It sounds like a buy, actually. It kind of does. Yeah, I kind of want it now. I actually kind sounds like a buy, actually. It kind of does. Yeah, I kind of want it now.

I actually kind of want it now, actually. Yeah, I'm in. By the way, another one of those games that was made by Thin Ice, the company that made Thin Ice and the Cooties game, Don't Spill the Beans. Don't Spill the Beans. Remember that one? Who made Don't Wake Daddy?

That's a different company. Different company. Different company. But the components to those games, Thin Ice is up there. Oh, come on. All right. All right, Jet. Lay off, Jesse.

Put the claws away. That's not inappropriate. It's okay. The components were always very tactile. They're nice. They felt nice in the hand. Somehow, one of them earned the distinction Amazon's Choice. That one just says,

Fawzen, crashed ice game, puzzle table games, penguin ice pounding, penguin ice cubes. This is just words associated with the game. So maybe it's just like a best of Craigslist style thing. Wait, wait, wait. It keeps going. I feel like if you just say, I feel like those are the words you say to like activate an assassin. Ice cubes. There's a guy who doesn't know he has.

Is it possible that they're, you know how they had those shortwave radio signals that were just a woman's voice saying Wisco tango, Fox Toronto, whatever. saying Wisco Tango, Fox Toronto, whatever. Like, do you think that now spies get their information through Amazon listings? Yeah, I mean, it would make sense. Because listen to this. Ice Cube, Safe Penguin, Knock Ice Blocks, Wall Toys, Desktop, Paternity, Interactive Game. Yeah. Six Grid Turntable. Mm-hmm.

Wait, that's the review, huh? Maybe they just thought that was the tag section, you know? Yeah. And they're like... I think somebody just swallowed a microfilm when you said that. It will not only develop your child's mentality, but also increase the fun of parent-child interaction easily. That's pretty good. Was easily all caps or something? Yeah. Easily. That's pretty good. Was easily all caps or something?

Yeah. Easily. It seems like the guy who was complaining about it, the bad three-star review, seems like he wasn't playing it with kids. This product has 16 reviews, including pictures. This person has like four pictures. Several of these people have multiple pictures, including Wise Mommy. This is what Wise Mommy says.

The Fawzen crashed ice game puzzle table games, penguin ice pounding, penguin ice cube safe, penguin knock, ice block wall toys, desktop paternity interactive game six grid turntable is fun playing games with my daughter and hubby taking turns. Love it. And my daughter doesn't want to stop playing with it as soon as we receive this toy. Although this is so tiny. Recommended for four up kids because of the small parts on it. This is real. I am real. I am a real person, and all of this is real.

Not a GoBot. Not a GoBot. Yeah. I don't know. It's fun, though. It's a pretty fun game. You played it already. Yeah, I played it. It's pretty good. Oh, it is good. Oh, take it from you. Yeah. I don't know. It's fun, though. It's a pretty fun game. You played it already. Yeah, I played it.

It's pretty good. Oh, it is good. Oh, take it from you. Yeah. It's one of those games where you have a bunch of blocks and you have to knock out the blocks with a little hammer and make it so that it doesn't all collapse. Yeah, yeah. It's pretty fun.

I'll say this. The spinner is a real joke. There I said it. Whoa. There I said it. Truth to power. I said it. Brent Weinbach, how it. Truth to power. I said it. Brent Weinbach,

how are you doing, buddy? You got this new special on CISO? Yes, I got a new special. Please check it out. If you don't have CISO, there's a seven-day free trial. You can see it for free

and then you can just cancel it after seven days. There's a lot of other stuff on CISO, too. Yeah, McElroys are on there. Tons of stuff. Jonah Ray has a show on it. Yeah. And you got specials from people like Rory Scovel Yeah, McElroys are on there. Tons of stuff. Jonah Ray has a show on it.

And you've got specials from people like Rory Scovel. Yeah, I'm very fond of Rory Scovel. Just all kinds of stuff. Lori Kilmartin, our friend. Her amazing special is on there. All of Saturday Night Live is on there, most of it at least. This isn't the CISO show, Brent. I need to ask you something serious.

Last time you were on this program, we watched a video. Oh, yeah, yeah. That was called Ultimate Drumming Technique. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, so this was, if I remember correctly, let me know if I'm getting any of this wrong. Ultimate Drumming Technique was a parody of like those, you know, like a VHS tape you would buy to learn to drum. Yeah, I'd say, yeah say something like that, yeah.

Can I just say, if you're listening to this show right now, you haven't yet seen Ultimate Drumming Technique, pause the show and run right out, grab your computer, grab your phone, and don't watch it. So it is a parody of a video that would teach you how to play music, and a guy is teaching you how to drum while simultaneously, he's drumming with one hand and not jerking off, but he's stroking his penis with the other hand?

Correct, yes. Okay. Erect penis, yes. It's erect. And every stroke is a snare drum hit. There's no snare drum. But that is the snare drum, basically. Right.

So every snare drum hit is that, yeah. This was new when you were on the show. Yes. The last time you were here, you were, like, about to release this or had just released this. I want to talk about the legacy of ultimate drumming technique in the, you know, year or whatever since you were last here. What has happened with it? Is there a sequel planned? Well, there's not a sequel, but I did recently make a video that is, I feel, in sort of the same vein.

Sort of a spiritual sequel? Spiritual sequel, yeah. In kind of the main vein. Oh, yeah, certainly. And now that you mention it, I feel like perhaps you guys should watch this video. It's pretty hardcore, and I actually think Jesse might have trouble with it. But I think you might be able to just go for it.

I don't know. Well, yeah, here, let me get out my phone because I think we had a lot of success talking about Ultimate Drumming. Rather than watching it on a phone, should I just put it on a screen? That would be great. Or should he just react to it and you don't see it and then if you're intrigued enough, then you go for it? It's a two minute video. Yeah, I would prefer that you

make Jordan watch it first. Okay, I'll watch it first because I am morally bankrupt, and I have— Well, I think it's because, Jordan, if I'm honest— Please, be honest. Brent's bringing out his computer now. because your work requires you to engage in a level, a sort of deep and full level of depravity. Sort of like how you would add a pickled fish sauce, fermented fish sauce, to get a certain fullness. Yeah, you're correct. Of flavor. Yeah. An umami. Right. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you're correct. Of flavor.

Yeah. An umami. Right. A fifth taste. Sixth taste? Yeah, no, sure. I guess I do day-to-day, we'll look at the internet's weirdest. So, yeah, I have a high tolerance for this kind of content.

Now, this is just released. Okay, just released. Don't worry, you won't get freaked out by the first thing, Jesse. Okay. But you might want to look away once I hit the space bar. Okay, just released. Don't worry. You won't get freaked out by the first thing, Jesse. Okay. But you might want to look away once I hit the space bar. Okay, you play. But I'm just trying to think if there's anything I should say to set this up. But yeah, I don't know.

Spiritual sequel, maybe. In the same universe. It's something in that. There's something there that's similar in some way or another. Oh, you want to see it too? Brent Weinbach is what we call an idea man. He's full of ideas. So this is an example of the kind of great ideas that he comes up with.

Sure, yeah. Are you ready? Yeah, push play. Ready for this? Okay. Maybe I'll watch it and we can cut out the time in which I watched it. No, no. We're going to want to get you.

You want me to describe it? Yeah. No, no. Don't describe it. Your reactions will be good, I think. Okay. What are you seeing? I kind of need to know a little bit about what you're seeing.

It's a man and his legs are in stirrups, and he's in some sort of garage, and there's like doctors all around him. This is something that Brent Weinbach probably paid for. Oh, I think I know what this is. Oh, you've seen it? No, someone described it. Okay, go ahead. Yeah. Okay, so now we're seeing the man's penis.

It's healthy bush on this guy. Don't give it all away yet. Because I think listeners should watch this video. It's important. It sounds like they shouldn't watch it. It's important to feminist culture. Brandon, I don't think that people should probably watch this. Yeah, go to see Wonder Woman if you're worried about feminist culture.

I'm not looking at it, but I still don't think I want people to see this video that you made, Brad. It's on Vimeo. Maybe they should just watch your old Super Deluxe show where... Oh, no! Oh, no! Maybe they should watch your stand-up special. Or maybe they should just watch... Oh, no.

Remember when you had that Supernot show where it was you in elementary school, but then it was just you playing yourself in elementary school with your children? That's right. Weinbach and Wonderland, it's called. Actually, Weinbach and Wonderland, you can now see that as one just complete short film on Vimeo, my Vimeo account, which also is hosting this video as well. So. Oh, no.

Oh, my God. Wait, open your eyes. Open your eyes. Jordan. Jordan, keep watching. Keep your eyes open. Eyes open. They're open.

They're open and I'm watching it. And I wish I wasn't. Oh, shit. Why? They're open and I'm watching it And I wish I wasn't Oh shit Why What is going on Okay it is a very specific Take on what if a man had a baby It's a very

Particular Think about the ways in which a man Would have a baby this is one of them It's called man Gives Birth. You can find it on video. Okay, that was harrowing. Well done. Very well done.

There's a title that says, World's First Ever Man Birth Success. Yes, thank you for funding this story. I looked back. I mean, you looked back at the tame part of it. Wow, yes. What's the budget on a video like this? Okay, I didn't pay for it, actually. Right.

It was made for a show, and I'm not really supposed to say what it was made for. Right. But, yeah. And it was made for a show. It was funded by a show. And, yeah. Is the show? As an internet supplement thing to the show.

Can I guess what the show is? Is it This Is Us? Real tearjerker. Every episode gets me. Every episode gets me. I'm like, this is the one that's not going to get me. But then it does. Yeah.

This was made for the – have you heard of the show called The Bachelorette? I've heard of it, yeah. It's a supplementary – Pretty racy. Supplementary. Pretty racy. Material. Wow, Brent. That was something else. I mean, of it, yeah. It's a supplementary, pretty racy material. Wow, Brent,

that was something else. I mean, it was well done. It was well shot. Thanks. I'm pleased with how it came out. Visceral?

Yeah, very visceral. I feel like I've experienced something. It's kind of neat, right? Yeah, it is kind of neat. It's very well done. It is hard to watch, but you did a very nice job

with it. Thanks. I mean, I think that was also true of Ultimate Drumming Technique. Sure, absolutely. I did see, speaking as someone who did see Ultimate Drumming Technique, which was a drumming instructional film in which a man stroked his erect penis every time he would otherwise be playing a snare drum. That was very well executed. Thank you.

But, yeah, do check out the special. Appealing to the Mainstream is the name of the special. And it's not just available on CISO, but you can get CISO on Amazon Prime as an add-on service, or you can get it on Xbox or any streaming outlet. A lot of fun ways to watch CISO. You can get CISO and you can watch it. or any streaming outlet, you can get CISO and you can watch it. Man.

How long, Brent, have you been making supplemental content for the new Zach Braff sitcom, Alex Inc.? I just was hired to do this one. Just fun web extras, and they put a little graphic on the screen. Want to see a man give birth? It was kind of like that. Just like how Zach is giving birth to new ideas at his podcasting company. It was meant to be a messed up video that you could only see on the dark web. Right, yeah. I like that Brent Weinbach is operating in that liminal space between innovative stand-up comic and guy from 1983 who created and sold through ads in the back of magazines faces of death videos.

And really, really dancing across that line, Brent. Like, is this a faces of death video or is this a successful stand-up comedy? Well, you know, that's, yeah. Keep them guessing, I guess, you know. Multitudes. Keep them guessing, you know. You also, okay, so also new at the last time we saw you was you were working on a thing called, you had just created a thing called Gangster Party Line. Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah sure yeah yeah great

great video oh yeah thank you thanks very hilarious uh call in very hilarious parody of your late night uh party line yeah chat line yeah and that led you to a job working for kevin hard yeah basically yeah it was uh He's starting a new digital network called Laugh Out Loud Network. Oh, that's really fun. LOL. I'm going to probably shorten that. I'm going to talk about it a lot, so I'm probably going to need to shorten that. I'll work on what it is later.

I'll probably just call it the Laugh Net. Out Loud Net. Yeah, Out Loudies. I'll figure it out. Loud Net? Mm-hmm. Maybe that's already something in Terminator in the Terminator movies

Sky net that's where you by conscience I hate to break it to you but they beat you to it they actually did abbreviate it and they do call it

LOL for short that's clever they call it LOL for short why do they call it that because it's like an abbreviation

for laugh out loud so they call it laugh out LOL oh because each of the what each of those letters is the first letter that's right yeah that's clever that's how they do it yeah it's kind of cool i like it i like catchy they do the third word first then the second word then the first word why do they do that why do they do it backwards you know keep people guessing you

know is this his face is a death thing or is it you know what am this you know got it um so uh yeah you know uh the person who runs the company uh who's not kevin hart um the or he's one of the people who runs it's kevin hart's big brother um he uh you know he really liked gangster party and the original and he wanted to do more uh hotline videos and so um yeah there's there's basically did five new hotline videos recently um one of them is a direct sequel to the gangster party gangster party line part two and then there's um some other ones that are different themes like one of them is a dad hotline where you can call different dads if you need advice or you need discipline or something you can call different dads. If you need advice or you need discipline or something, you can call different dads and talk to a dad.

You know, when I usually call the discipline hotline, I rarely get a dad. Yeah. You usually get a mom. Luck of the draw. Yeah. And then there's some other ones. This is one where you can like call different rich people and ask them for money. You don't get money, but you can just ask.

If you want the experience of asking for money right you can call the the money hotline and it's 4.99 a minute if you want the experience of asking for money um and uh there's one with snoop dog in it it's a snoop line which sounds like snoop lion because it sounds funny um and in the director's cut version we it's the narrator says, call the snoop line. And then you hear a lion growl. But they thought that people wouldn't get that. So they wanted us to take the growl out. So there's no growl.

When you're watching the video, imagine a growl. Or play your own growl. Yeah, when they say snoop line. Because it sounds like snoop line. It does sound like that. Snoop line. Does he still call himself that? He doesn't.

No, but I just thought it was funny that it sounded like Snoop Lion, kind of, you know? But you had to count out of the executive producers of that one, the 42 players on Snoop Dogg's youth football team. Wait, had a what? They got the credit. They got the EP credit on that, right? And they get a final cut? Yeah, Snoop Dogg is a very popular youth football team. Yeah, so his youth football team, I think they usually get final cut when he does comedy that was probably who was giving me notes yeah um the uh then there was a there's one that's

a hunk chat line for like ladies only i'll leave it at that i don't want to like actually i want to show you guys that one too actually but that's enough yeah yeah i've already been through an ordeal and then um and then uh there's – what was the other one? There's – yeah, I think I named all five, I think. Anyway, and then so – yeah, wait, is that it? Yeah, anyway, so those are coming out in August, I think, on Laugh Out Loud. So people should check out – it's called Skynet. It's in the movie Terminator.

Terminator 2. Almost certainly never becomes sentient. Right. So let's not worry about that. Seems unlikely. I'm excited about that. We should give it full control over our nuclear arsenal. I think. Brent, I mean...

Better Skynet than this clown we got in the White House now. Am I right? Jordan. Skynet is president for president? Yeah, Skynet. Skynet 2020. Can I ask a favor of you, Jordan, and I'm going to extend this out to you. Do not get me started on these clowns in Washington. Yeah.

I will get. Oh, boy. I will get so. In fact, I can feel it coming up right now. I am so mad at these clowns. I am so mad at these clowns. These painted face, big shoes. Jesse, you're getting a little worked up.

Tiny card. I'm trying to think of another word, but the only word that's coming to my mind is clowns in the District of Columbia. You want to take a little break? We're getting worked up. You want to take a little break? Clowns? I know. I know. These clowns that we send to Washington to do the work of the people.

Legislation. Now you're just describing a politician. I don't think this is helpful. It's not commentary anymore. These are the things that are the responsibilities of the patient, disciplined, brilliant people.

We would hope would serve the greater good, but instead what do we have? The answer is clowns! Clowns in Washington! Clowns! You okay, bud? We'll be back in just a second.

I'll join Jessica. Hello, Internet. I'm your husband host, Travis McElroy. And I'm your wife host, Teresa McElroy. And together we present Schmanners. It's extraordinary etiquette. For ordinary occasions. We explain the historical significance of everyday etiquette topics,

then answer your questions relating to modern life. So join us weekly on MaximumFun.org or wherever podcasts are found. No RSVP required. Check out Schmanners. Schmanners, Schmanners. Get it? It's Jordan, Jesse, and Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, boy detective. Brent Weinbach. I guess I'm just... Here's the thing, Jordan. Yeah. It's about the clowns. The reason I'm upset is I care so much about America. Yeah.

All she stands for. The sound of young America. Exactly. Freedom, et cetera. Yeah. So if I take a look at a group photograph of the people that are supposed to be leading my nation. You just see a bunch of clowns. I see a bunch of fucking.

Yeah. Pagliacci's up there. Sure. These Pagliacci's. Yeah. In Washington clowning around. You know. Oh, here comes Mitch McConnell. These Pagliacci's in Washington clowning around. You know, here comes Mitch McConnell with a, he's carrying a two by four.

What's that? Something behind me? Oh, pow. He's knocked Nancy Pelosi right on the noggin. I don't want to see that. I get you. Thank you. I don't want to make that. That's not what the show is about, obviously.

The show is about Hummel figurines. It's not about what's going on in politics or what's going on. And I just want to say that I'm going to be fine. It's going to be fine. I'll call my mom. I'll talk to my mom after the show. But I did get upset. We said at the top that we were going to get real raw and uncensored.

And that happened. That's what happened. This is the kind of thing. We're at the top that we were going to get real raw and uncensored. And that happened. That's what happened. That's what happened. This is the kind of thing, you know, this is the kind of thing. We're working without a net here, people. This is comedy without a net. That's what happens when you just chat. Chat it up.

Sure. You know, break from the format. Well, thank you. Emotions run high. Brent, thank you so much for your patience with that because I did get very upset. I am going to talk to my mom. I'm going to talk to my family doctor. I'm going to check in with my family doctor.

Call the dad hotline. If I can find, if you guys know a really good green grocer. So those are the three people I'm going to talk to. I'm going to talk to my mom about sort of the emotional part of it. I'm going to talk to my family doctor about if there's anything I should be doing physical, a chemical imbalance or anything that I have to do. And then the green grocer to find out, well, just sort of what fruit is in season, the fruits and vegetables.

Are these bell peppers any good? Are they local or, you know, what's the difference? How firm should it be or how soft should it be? Sure, sure. Yeah, exactly. So I want to thank you guys for your sure. Yeah, exactly. So I want to thank you guys for your patience. Yeah, no problem. The audience for their patience with this.

I know it's an unusual thing. We get off into that stuff, but I appreciate your forbearance and I appreciate Jordan, you've stood by me for 10, 12 years. We've had some of these problems. Yeah, I mean, it's over now, but right. Sure. Right. Well, I mean, that's also, I mean, to some extent, that's a relief.

Yeah. For our audience, particularly. As the child of clowns, I just couldn't handle that outburst. I found it insulting. Right. I don't know that I'll ever get over it. By the way, do you guys remember last time I was here, we talked about bonkers, and bonkers maybe coming back. Do you remember that? Oh, the

Disney cartoon bonkers? No, no, the candy bonkers. No, uh-uh. And they never came back. Oh, I'm sorry. What? Update. I'm sorry, buddy. They were talking about how in the next year or so they were going to come, they were going to re-release them and try to maintain or preserve the original recipe and everything, but it never

came out. Aw, man. I know you wanted that. Yeah. Anyway, I just thought I'd update anybody who remembered. It's just i don't is this gonna turn and make you wanna let's make you think of clowns it's this bonkers thing you know bonk i really believe that those bonkers were coming back yeah you know there was a time in america when you could really believe things when you've been told. Now, there's fake news. There's legislation, executive actions. Emails.

Yeah. Co-fefe. And at the end of the day, when you look down the end of that tunnel, what do you see? There's clouds and what must you do? I know. Okay. Keeping our bonkers in a warehouse somewhere. Release our bonkers in a warehouse somewhere. Release our bonkers.

Anyway. Give me my bonkers and give me my ecto-cooler. I think the ecto-cooler did come back. Oh, it came back for the new Ghostbusters movie? I think so, yeah. Okay. If they bring back ecto-cooler, can't they bring back bonkers? Get on the horn with Big Snack.

Seen a lot of New York seltzer around for there not to be any bonkers. I have a connection to New York Seltzer, the original. I used to carpool to school with the daughter of the guy who started New York Seltzer. You're a real, like, Forrest Gump of these minor cultural things. Yeah, exactly. The guy who did the music for Sonic 3. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell me a little bit

about your relationship with Slap Bracelets, Brent Weinbach. Oh, Slap Bracelets? Oh, yeah. I have a connection to that. Or Babysat by someone who was the writer's assistant

on Carolyn in the City. I want to take this opportunity. Before we go, I want to give a dedication on this week's program. Yes. Is that okay? Please. I want to dedicate it to those we go. I want to give a dedication on this week's program. Yes. Is that okay? Please.

I want to dedicate it to those fucking clowns in Washington. All right. Do you like them or not like them? Well, I'm dedicating it to them as a sort of twist. Look out. It's sort of like a wink, like, I'm on to you. I'm on to you, fuckers. Sure.

I know about your, speaking of seltzer, your seltzer bottles. Keep your long hankies in your pants, fellas. And ladies. Yeah. Ladies can be clowns, too. It's true. Brent Weibach, you have a special on CISO. CISO special.

I think that your audience would really like it, one. No, I guarantee that. I guarantee. If you're listening to this show, you're going to love Brent Weinbach's special because it's funnier than this show. Brent Weinbach, really, truly, I cannot highly enough recommend the brilliance

of the great Brent Weinbach. I was just walking down the street the other day thinking about how much I like Brent Weinbach. That's a true story. I'm talking about five or six days ago. I'm walking down the street thinking, man, Brent Weinbach is great. I'm glad about how much I like Brent Weinbach. That's a true story. I'm talking about five or six days ago. I'm walking down the street thinking, man, Brent Weinbach is great. I'm glad he's around.

I thought you were about to say five or six years ago. Five or six years ago. I was thinking that. That was when you were doing your best work. Yeah, it's really been downhill since then. But, you know, you're still replacement level at least. I don't want to – I'm not trying to say anything or like, I think you guys have the kind of audience that I think would maybe get more out of it than the average viewer. That's all I'll say.

All right. All right. All right. Consider us teased. I'm teased. Yeah. I'm as. I've been thoroughly teased.

I'm so hard. I'm ready to teach drumming technique. Guys, I'm just joking. I'm just joking, you guys. So Brent Weinbach, his brand new specials on CISO. Feeling to the mainstream. Go watch that Gangsta Party Hotline video. That shit's hilarious.

Yeah, I mean, you know, it's coming out. I mean, I will say. Don't watch the Ultimate Drumming Technique or this other one with Man Gives Birth a Baby. Do not watch those. Yeah. Well, and the ones in August that come out on Laugh Out Loud Network, they are the sort of like, we had to cut a lot of stuff because they didn't want the director's cut. You know, like there was. The lion growls.

The lion growls. But there's other cuts and stuff that were made that hopefully one day I'll be able to release the full versions of them. But they should be good nonetheless. Brian Weinbach is an artist. Absolutely. Daniel Baruela is an artist. Absolutely. Daniel Baruela is on the boards for us this week. Our producer is Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. We'll have, look, we'll have more momentous occasions next week.

We're out of time. Yeah. We had too much fun talking Captain EO. The clock has ticked. Yeah. Tick tock, tick tock. Time is up. We'll see you next week.

Chopping block. We'll see you next week with momentous occasions, probably. Yeah. Hashtag JJGo on Twitter. I will mention before we go, I have a brand new podcast. It's called The Turnaround. It is where I interview the world's greatest interviewers. I interview the world's greatest interviewers.

It only runs this summer, twice a week, starting on Thursday, but it's in iTunes or in Apple Podcasts. It's in your podcast application. You can subscribe right now. I'm going to tell you who I spoke to for this. Barbara Walters. Ira Glass, Mark Maron,

Errol Morris, Werner Herzog, Katie Couric Larry King Jerry Springer Really Jerry Springer? Yeah Wow cool

Oprah Winfrey Susan Orlean We couldn't get Oprah We gotta Barbara No Barbara Walter She's retired

Okay Doesn't do press anymore She's retired Doesn't have anything to promote Besides her dotage Among numerous other brilliant people She doesn't do press anymore. She's retired. Doesn't have anything to promote besides her dotage. Among numerous other brilliant people. I mean, that's like just a cross-section of the totally amazing, brilliant people that I talk to who are much more talented than I.

And I think if you're out there, you might enjoy it. We're not running ads on it. We're not raising money for it. It's just a thing I did to make the world a better place, hopefully. And so, yeah, listen to it. Recommend it to a friend. It's called The Turnaround, running twice a week just this summer. Maximumfund.org or your favorite podcasting application. Boom.

Boom. Hashtag at JJ Go on Twitter, at Jesse Thorne, at Jordan underscore Morris. Brent, you on tweeters? Yeah, I'm on Twitter twitter but i don't really i don't really use twitter in the way that people use it if you want to go online stuff you can go to youtube.com slash brent weinbach to see my videos that's the thing i would direct people to youtube.com slash brent weinbach i'd i'd recommend getting yourself an eyeful and an earful brent weinbach while you have the okay? Because this is a special gift to you and from God to him.

It's a special gift from God to him that he is sharing with you. Okay. I didn't want to just be so greedy about it, you know? Let your light shine. Let your light shine. And if you're very serious about video game music, you should listen to his video game music podcast. Legacy Music Hour. Legacy Music Hour. This is not a comedy show about video game music. You should listen to his video game music podcast. Legacy Music Hour.

Legacy Music Hour. This is not a comedy show about video game music. This is a serious podcast. We joke around a little bit, but it's about the music. It's about the music. That's what I like to say, too. It's about the music. I do it for the music.

Okay. We'll be back with more Humble Figurines talk next week on Jordan, Jesse, Go. Okay, we'll be back with more Humble Figurines talk next week on Jordan, Jesse, go.