Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 488: The Mandela Note with Jon Gabrus

Episode Date: July 10, 2017

Actor and podcaster Jon Gabrus joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of Jon's   Chicken Nugget power hour where he ate a chicken nugget every minute for an hour, Jesse's run in with a real live bear at his cabin, and the phenomenon of everyone deciding to use the same movie as a punchline. Action Item: Call us and break your NDA! Tell us your legally bound secrets! 206-984-4FUN  

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jordan. Yes. You're not, you do not, I will, I will admit here and now. Look, all Jordan Jesse Jesse Go listeners know.

Jordan Morris is sharp. He's alert. He's handsome. Finely buffed. Yeah, like a cat who's been recently buffed. Like a recently buffed wild cat.

You know, I got one of those Ronco cat buffers and it works great. It is absolutely every bit as good as they show you on that infomercial. Yeah, you just set it and forget it. And then you come back home, you got a nicely buffed cat. But you look a little haggard this week. Yeah, okay. I'm just going to listen. I'm going to lay my cards on the table.

Please do. And if, you know. Because I've got three kings. Oh, boy. Onvd does it have director's commentary it does and interactive menus david o russell is as crazy as they say it has it has uh deleted scenes including when george clooney punched the director so uh you know cards on the table yeah getting you This is podcasting. It's all about being real raw and uncensored. We're taping this on a Sunday morning.

Right. Which is not usually when we tape, but some scheduling issues this week. So Sunday morning was the only time we could get together. time we could get together. I am coming off a open bar wedding from last night and am more hungover than I've been in years. Really? Years? So, you're just going to throw this out there.

Yeah. We've got a great guest and I hate to cut him short. Right. But what do you say we just make this sucker 20 minutes and we go eat Carl's Jr.'s in bed? I'm in i don't know if i get a vote but yeah i'm in our guest on the program this week uh he is himself a podcaster celebrated podcaster arguably yeah uh he is uh comic delight he's famous from his days on mtv too. Quotes. Almost exclusively to TSA agents, John Gabris.

How are you, John? Oh, thank you so much for having me, guys. What a joy to have you here. I'm going to do an awkward moment here and just let you know it's Gabris. Sorry. No, hey, it's not really a problem. I'm glad you swung the, like, I dealt with being called, having the word gay in my name

in the 90s in junior high in high school so i now have come through the crucible and i'm proud i own it now now you have now you have on a pride t-shirt i actually am wearing a pride t-shirt oh i'm actually gay now you know it turns out it's one of those naming things it's sure yeah names are very if kids just kill yeah he's like it's like well it's not my you know it's not my fulfilling normal yes it's sort of like a The Secret type situation. They were like, just called me gay boy or gay B or gay Bruce enough to just make me gay. Yeah, well, congratulations.

Thank you. Yeah, no, it's been a big upswing for me. It turns out I'm a huge hit amongst bears. Yeah. You know, some homophobes will say it's a choice. It's not. It's actually just repetition. You can just train your body to do almost anything.

You know, I didn't like broccoli rabe for a while, and I just ate it every day for a week. And I'm like, now I love broccoli rabe. It's the same thing with penises. John, what did you do on MTV2? I was on a couple of different shows called Guy Code, which was like a misogynistic talking head, best week ever type show. Slightly misogynistic. Sure. And then I was also on the Nick Cannon improv extravaganza Wildin' Out.

Oh. You wilded out. I was happy to be token white guy for like a couple of seasons. It was a nice little experience. Congratulations on being on i mean that is a cultural touchstone it is i know i can't stress enough how weird of an experience it was and that's what made i did it once because i was like oh i need money and this would be weird and fun and i'm an mtv2 person so i'll try it and then afterwards i was like i want

to do another season i did three seasons And then I wasn't invited back. I think I have been aged out. Oh, yeah. I think I've been aged out of like I remember having to put mascara on my little grays in my beard just to hang with the MTV kids. Sure. Yeah. And and a lot of your a lot of your disses were about the spin doctors who the kids don't know anymore. Like you're barely one prince.

And they're like, what? Well, if you're Superman, you better watch out because I have a pocket full of kryptonite. Thank you. One 40-year-old grip is like, I got you, dog. Capital. Capital zinger. Yeah. It was a really fun experience.

It's kind of like improv, which is what my background is in. And then on top of it, it's just like you do something that's like a silly short form game. And then at the end of the day, you're dancing on stage while Yo Gotti sings. It goes down in the DM. And you're like, what am I doing up here in a fucking do-rag dance? Wait, did they issue you white guy guy in a hip hop posse equipment? No, they just had like the best wardrobe department.

Like they're like, wait, we like your look, John, but we're going to have to cut a fade into your hair. Can we give you a Caesar real quick? It was really fun. Like I,

my friend James Davis, who was on the show, I was like, do you think I could get away with wearing a do-rag in an episode like i just need like the hood pass so i know i'm not fucking and he was like go ahead so i just wore a do-rag in an episode and what what i look like being surrounded by black guys who are smaller than me and some who are bigger is i look like an offensive lineman like i look like a guy who's like all right ox come on you can come with us to the hip-hop party.

And I'm like, you sure? I'm from small steel town. I got to dump some nerds' books on the way, but I could probably make it. Ooh, Ox is a good name. Yeah, it's really good. That's like the character I would have played for a decade in the 80s. Ox, Moose, Beef. You could have been that guy from

Parker Lewis Can't Lose who was on ER for a long time. Kubiak? Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Jesus Christ. Why is that Occupy Space in my brain? What is Kubiak up to right now? What would you say? Is he just living on his ER money? I bet you Kubiak is on like a procedural

that no one we know watches. Yeah, I bet you he's one of our aunt's favorite actors. Yeah, exactly. Or aunt's, if you will. Yeah, he's like one of the- You know, if you call an aunt an aunt enough, she will turn into an aunt. She'll just turn into an aunt literally. She starts drinking.

She's like doing a Woody Allen impression. He's like one of the white guys that has too many lines on Hawaii Five-O. Yeah, there you go. Sure. He's getting paid way more than Daniel Dae Kim. Sure. Jesus Christ. Did you?

Okay. So my take home from the Hawaii Five-O controversy, and for folks who don't know, there's two Korean-American actors on Hawaii Five-O who are the sort of third and fourth on the call sheet after Scott Kahn and another guy. It's James Kahn's son yeah um and hawaii 50 i was shocked to learn has been on for seven years um and uh so they weren't getting as but they weren't getting paid nearly as much as uh the two white guys and they quit is rob morrow possibly the other person wait from northern exposure northern Exposure? From Northern Exposure and Numbers? I don't think it's Rob Morrow from Northern Exposure, but it could be.

Yeah, that sounds right. Okay, I clearly am stretching. Yeah, yeah. It seems like. Or is it that front man from Spin Doctors? Oh, yeah. Alexi Lalas? No way.

I always thought he looked like alexia you could also tell exactly where i was at 13 listening to spin doctors and watching the u.s world celebrated for his colorful hair tony miyolo was the goalie alexi lawless played midfield my my take home from that whole situation i I literally read an entire New York Times article about it. And the whole, I'm reading about the like social justice elements of it and like the context in the show, all this different stuff. But the whole time, all I can think is the dude, the Korean American dude whose name you just said. Daniel Dae Kim from Lost. Dear God, is that man handsome.

He's like – He's so handsome. I can't even believe he's real. He was like the sleeper hunk on Lost. People were like, are you Jack or are you Sawyer? And then it's like, don't sleep on Daniel Dae Kim. The dude is like from Marble. I couldn't even – like seriously, the man's cheekbones are like, it's like someone took a hatchet and pointed it upwards in his face.

It's masculine pretty. Like I don't know how else to explain it. He's like a beautiful masculine person. He's gorgeous. Yeah. Yeah, he's gorgeous. Sometimes gorgeous guys look a little feminine, but it still works for them. Right.

Daniel Dae Kim looks like action figure, but also there's something cute and pretty about it. That was the disconnect I have. I had watching John Hammond, Baby Driver. Yeah. They try to scumbag him up in that, and boy, it doesn't work. No, not at all. Yeah. So pretty.

He's got neck tattoos, and they give him kind of a weird, alt-right haircut. And I think you're supposed to buy that he's this scumbag. He's just a crazy wild man. It feels like that scene where they reveal that, this is not really an important spoiler, but they say, let me guess, Wall Street, when Jamie Foxx kind of nails what Jon Hamm is, like a Wall Street. And it's like like they probably had to put that in it's like we should explain why this guy looks so like he's had his skin taken care of perfectly for 30 years leading up to becoming a criminal yeah um jamie foxx was very scary in baby driver yeah i thought he was

great i haven't seen him do like that much fun shit. Do you think Jamie Foxx is, among actors, the king of being good in a good thing and bad in a bad thing? Because I feel like there are movies where Jamie Foxx is so fucking good. What was that Michael

Mann movie with Tom Cruise? Collateral. He was amazing in Collateral. You're like, this might be America's greatest movie amazing. In Collateral, you're like, this might be America's greatest movie star. And then other times you're like, isn't that Jamie Foxx from In Living Color? You know what I mean? He can literally do anything. And he doesn't

always succeed at it. Right. But the guy is like comedy, drama, singing, dancing. He literally can do whatever he wants. Hosting Beat Shazam. People always say, you'll never be able to host beat shazam not you'll never be able to beat shazam but you'll never be able to host right the show yet to be uh invented right beach wait i can't even say it is beat shazam some sort of game show where you have to out magic shaquille o'neal no yes no genies are not involved this beat Shazam is about the app Shazam.

Oh, I thought it was where you have to spank Captain Marvel. You take your belt off and you whip Billy Blagg or whatever his name is until he says Shazam. It would be great if Billy Bragg was actually Captain Marvel. That'd be good casting. Takes a break from time to time from his folky polemics. Yeah. So, oh,

about Baby Driver. So I went in like a big group. Somebody got the tickets and like, you know, kind of organized this group to go see it. And one of the people in the group we learned after the movie until it started thought we were all seeing Boss Baby. It is the same universe.

Yeah, right, exactly. They're creating a shared universe, a Marvel-style universe. Did you stay for the after-credits scene? Right, where you think baby driver is out of the game. But just at that moment. He goes home and who turns around in his chair but the boss baby himself. I'm putting together a team. Isn't it fun when a movie comes out and it's sort of just like the society decides this should be a punchline for a month.

Right. Like when Boss Baby came out, I feel like a collective group of podcasters, comedians, Twitterers, film writers all were like, should we – how about this is the month where we just make fun of Boss Baby, right? Everyone's like, yeah, yeah. Sounds good. We don't have really – But we are going to stop next month, right? We're all going to stop at the same time next month?

This – I got caught on the butt end of that situation. I told – You did a late Boss Baby joke. No, it wasn't Boss Baby. It was much, much, much later than that. And I really fell on my face. I told a complicated story to some friends over dinner that was about the movie Kangaroo Jack. Oh, yes.

With Christopher Walken. Yeah. And I got to the end of it and they said, wait, what's Kangaroo Jack? And I was like, oh, no. I remember that month. That's all I know about. Right, that movie that no one you know has seen, but everyone knows about. Yeah.

That is not Kangaroo Jack anymore. Nope. No one present had heard about Kangaroo Jack. Is Kenan in it? No, it's Anthony Anderson. Anthony Anderson, that was racist of me. A different baby face. Yeah.

The deal with Kangaroo Jack was I took this class at Santa Cruz called Working in Film and Television where this guy would fly up from L.A. once a week to teach this class. And he was a psychologist who had invented the knob that you turn to the right

if you like something and to the left if you don't like something in a TV focus group. Very successful. And this movie marketing guy came in. And he was the head of marketing for a huge studio. Very big deal guy. Real hot shot. Very confident. And the thing that had made his career was Kangaroo Jack was like intended to be like an R-rated action comedy, like a buddy film, like a 48 hours type situation.

And they saw it and it tested poorly. And so they recut it slightly, but completely redid the marketing to make it into a children's film, marketing-wise. And all they did was they cut out a few swear words and a little bit of brain on the floor. Full penetration sex. Yeah, to get it down to PG-13. And then they took the kangaroo, the titular kangaroo from Kangaroo Jack, the one in the red hooded sweatshirt and the backwards baseball cap. Apparently, that kangaroo, has anyone seen, you guys haven't seen Kangaroo Jack, the one in the red hooded sweatshirt and the backwards baseball cap. Apparently, that – I haven't – has anyone seen – you guys haven't seen Kangaroo Jack?

Okay. I just haven't talked about it for a decade. Yeah, we know it's a punchline. Yeah, yeah. 15 plus years. Yeah. I haven't seen Boss Baby either, but I've been talking about it. Maybe that's – guys, maybe that's our new hit podcast is seeing the punchline movies.

Yeah. And then just defending how good they were. Yeah, we'll watch well i mean we'll watch shazam right because i am excuse me and then we'll watch shazam the one starring simbad that didn't actually exist in an alternate universe we'll hit the wormhole kangaroo jack the baron's from every every billboard for kangaroo jack had this kangaroo in a in a hoodie and a backwards baseball cap or whatever. And it had the smash it slogan, which I confirmed this guy had come up with, which was, he stole the money and he's not giving it back.

And it's pretty premium. Modline. There's ellipses there, right? Yeah. He stole the money and he's not giving it back. Oh, no. The amazing thing about this movie is apparently that kangaroo is not a character in the movie. That kangaroo just appears on screen briefly in a dream sequence and is not in the whole rest of the film.

It's just like a guy gets hit on the head and he imagines that the money was like that a kangaroo was taunting him. So it's not you think it's a movie about an animated kangaroo who like steals stuff from Anthony Anderson. Actually, it's just a buddy like action movie that has a brief dream sequence with the kangaroo in it. They built the entire marketing around this kangaroo, and the guy is like,

it was originally tracking at like $10 million for a $30 million movie, and it made $70 million because we tricked people into thinking it was a children's film about a kangaroo. I have an important follow-up here. You were told that, how long ago was that? 15, 15 years ago.

You were told that, and in the interim, in the 15 years that have passed, the decade and a half, you've never watched Kangaroo Jack? I can't, why would I watch, I can't. It feels like you have such a- It's like one of your party anecdotes. I've heard that story 20 times. You should, I think at this point you need to watch Kangaroo Jack. I think by the 20th time- What if when you watch it, you're wrong?

It's like 28 minutes of the kangaroo and you're like, wow. I've been telling people this kangaroo is in this for much less. It's one of those things where no one's seen it, so everyone's like, yeah, no, I believe you. This is my feeling about it, Jordan. You've heard that story 20 times. It's on you. You should have seen Kangaroo Jack by now. No, that's true.

I think, yeah, at some point I need to watch Kangaroo Jack. You've essentially violated the terms of our friendship by not watching Kangaroo Jack. I'm projecting. I feel like I should have seen Kangaroo Jack, but I wanted you the terms of our friendship by not watching Kangaroo Jack. I'm projecting. I feel like I should have seen Kangaroo Jack, but I wanted you to carry the brunt of that. I understand.

Look, at the end of the day, it's a burden that all of us in America share, except for the 7 million people who paid $10 to go see Kangaroo Jack. Those 7 million people have since died

in very mysterious circumstances. Here's what I... The Kangaroo Jack curse. Yeah, it's like leftovers. Yeah. What do these 1% of the population have in common? Right, they're in it. Right.

They watched kangaroos. This is my feeling, and I think this is... I don't mean to blow the lid off anything here on Jordan, Jesse. Go, because usually this is a really lighthearted podcast. But why won't the Democrats deal with the fact that in the aftermath of the election, we understand how crucial it was that Hillary Clinton never saw Kangaroo Jack. I'm sorry, you mean Killary.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like, I feel like they're trying to put the focus on Trump. Why don't they deal with their own problems? Why don't they deal with the problems with their campaign that Hillary never saw that movie? Bernie would have saw it. Yeah.

Bernie. Yeah. Bernie owns Kangaroo Jack on Blu-ray. Yeah. And he's seen and Bernie saw Boss Baby in theaters. Yeah. Bernie saw Kazam and Shazam. Imagine they just got him elected.

Yeah. He's like, I've seen Boss Baby in theaters. You all made jokes about it, but I actually went to see it. Oh, he's the guy who'll do it. Bernie Sanders just finished a tour of colleges where all he talked about was how in the 90s there was definitely a movie that starred Sinbad. Right. As a magical. Maybe we should explain that.

So I think I guess. That's one of the Mandela effects. We've talked about that on Jordan, Jesse, Go before, that there is a group of people who believe sincerely or semi-sincerely that there was a – wait. So the movie is actually – The Shaq movie is called Kazam. Kazam. And Shaq is a genie. Shaq is a genie. Right.

Yeah. And then people believe that a movie exists called Shazam with Sinbad as a genie. But I think people are just conflating the fact that he used to wear like gold lame outfits doing stand-up. Sure, just because Sinbad dresses like a genie. Honestly, I've only listened to a handful of Jordan and Jesse Goh episodes and the one I mostly recently just listened to mentioned Sinbad in it. It was the Seth Morris episode. It's just funny to have like – This podcast is just a rotation

of 15 stories. We put them together in different forms. By the time people give up on us, we have a whole new batch of listeners who are excited to hear these stories. Yeah, I mean, what do they say? There's only five stories you can tell. Man versus nature.

Man versus machine. Wait, never mind. I love that one. Man versus self. Man machine versus. Yeah. That's my favorite one. Man versus machine. Oh, wait. Never mind. I love that one. Man versus self. Ooh. Good one. And- Man machine versus law enforcement. And what Kangaroo Jack is actually about.

Man versus dream animated character. Right. Exactly. That's another big one. The Mandela effect, the thing that people believe is two different things concurrently, like the Berenstain Bears thing you mentioned, like Berenstainain or whatever but it's named for people who believe nelson mandel had died yes like well before he did right uh he was like um someone just they put out a news story and just enough people were like oh yeah he's dead and then like that's a very interesting yeah we'll get into that yeah like i think it is one of those one of those memes one of those ideas

that is spread on the basis of lightheartedness this story about this sinbad movie sure uh but named for something like so central to world history right it. It's essentially like we are, it's like as though Kangaroo Jack was somehow memetically connected to the protocols of Zion. They're like, yeah, well, it's like how they changed Kangaroo Jack around and sold it as a children's movie

or like how the Jews have a cabal that controls the world banking system. Like those things. Look it up on Urban Dictionary. It would be great. Like if you go to Nelson Mandela's wiki page, it probably has a link to See Also Berenstain Bears, which is very upsetting.

Nelson Mandela is attached to Berenstain Bears for the rest of his life. Yeah. When we talk about it in the lighthearted meme sense, should we just call it like the Kazam Protocol or something like that? Operation Kazam Protocol. Sure. And then we can forget the Nelson Mandela stuff. Right. Let's leave his name out.

That's three white guys talking about kangaroo jokes. Let's drop Nelson Mandela. Maybe we should not mention Nelson Mandela. three white guys talking about kangaroo jokes. Let's drop Nelson Mandela. Well, we'll be back with more talk about Sinbad, and we're going to focus in the next segment on his Caribbean funk fest, as broadcast on Showtime, I want to say.

It's Jordan and Jesse Go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Hello, Amita Patel. Hello, Sean David Johnson. What's going on? I think a friend of mine may have chronic pop culture deficiency syndrome. Oh, no. PCDS? What are the symptoms? Well, she doesn't know Wakanda from Westeros. Shameful. And she keeps confusing Aziz Ansari and't know Wakanda from Westeros. Shameful. And she keeps confusing Aziz Ansari and Riz Ahmed. Oh my gosh, so sad.

Kind of racist, too. But what did you tell her to do? I told her to listen to our podcast, Inside Pop, of course. Fantastic idea. A weekly dose of Inside Pop will help anyone discover the best in TV, film, and music. Suffer from PCDS no more. Inside Pop has you covered every Wednesday on MaxFun. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, boy detective. John Gabrus, human Labrador. Yeah, that's a charming nickname. I enjoy that. Oh, Jordan. John, drop the tennis ball. Drop the tennis ball.. Yeah. That's a charming nickname. I enjoy that. Oh, Jordan. John, drop the tennis ball. Drop the tennis ball. Leave it.

Leave it. Leave it. Leave it. Ooh, we got some good sponsors on this week's Jordan Jesse Go program, Jordan. We sure do. Can I just say, can I say about our first sponsor? Yeah. Can I just say one thing?

Say it now. Friend. Mm-hmm. Roman. Countryman. Mm-hmm. Roman. Countryman. Mm-hmm. Let me at them cakes. Jesse, it's Blue Apron.

Oh, our friends at Blue Apron. You know what, Jesse? I cooked with Blue Apron this week. Did you really? I was on the website. Yeah? Picking my meals, which is very fun. You go to the website.

You pick what meals you want shipped right to you. Click, clack, click, clack, click, clack. It's a meal service. So got a nice chicken thing. Bam. A nice beef stir fry. Bam. I'm looking for that third meal. You know what one of the options was? Sweet and savory.

Korean rice cakes. You know what I said? What did you say, Jordan? Let me at them cakes. I said let me at them cakes. They mailed me them cakes and they were delicious. I cooked them cakes. I said, let me at them cakes. They mailed me them cakes and they were delicious. I cooked them cakes myself. With Blue Apron. For less than $10 per person per meal, Blue

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Three free meals. Blueapron.com slash JJ Go. A better way to cook. Do it. Let me have them cakes. Let us have them cakes, please. We also have some sponsorship from our friends at Zip Recruiter. Yes.

Are you hiring? Do you know where to post your job to find the best candidates? Jordan, I'm a small business owner. Yeah. I need to hire people all the time. I just hired Casey O'Brien, who's running the boards this week. Yeah, what you do is you go to ZipRecruiter, and you can post your job to 100-plus job sites with just one click. A lot of their competitors will make you use many clicks. Yeah.

This is a one-click solution. One-click situation. Click, you're done. The end. This is a one-click solution. One-click situation. Click. You're done. The end. 100 plus sites, Jordan. You can find- Could be 103. Could be 122.

I don't have an exact count. It's hard to say. In triple digits. Yeah. This is a triple-didge situation. Three-didge. You can find the most qualified candidates, immediate results. For a free trial, you go to ZipRecruiter.com

slash JJGo. I don't care if you run Dow Corning or if you run a local bodega. Either way, you're going to want to go to ZipRecruiter.com slash JJGo to post your job listing to 100 plus sites. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash JJGo. One more time to try it for free. Go to ZipRecruiter.com slash JJGO. And of course, we are always supported by folks like you who go to MaximumFun.org slash donate. Our thanks to the thousands of people who support Jordan Jesse Go in that way. If you want to advertise on Jordan Jesse Go, you can always email Teresa at MaximumFun.org.

Or if you are a listener, you want to share your message, whether it's a birthday wish or an announcement of a creative project or whatever, go to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron for a super affordable one-time announcement. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. John Gabrus, inflated baby. It's two good nicknames.

I was going to say, you don't have to do a new nickname every time, but you're two for two. I mean, I would have just gone with Ox. Gabrus, on your podcast, High and Mighty, you do the occasional power hour. I do, yes. Which is what? Explain the concept of the power hour to someone who might not have gone to an East Coast college. To someone who may have graduated with knowledge. It's a shot of beer every minute on the minute for one hour. How much?

So that's 60 ounces of beer. minute on the minute for one hour. How much – so that's 60 ounces of beer. It's only five beers. OK. But in one hour, that seems like – That's a lot even just to drink in an hour. Right. Exactly. It's like 60 ounces of water in an hour is hard. But the hard thing is like when the minute comes around to have to take – you could probably drink five beers in an hour.

If you do it at your own pace. It wouldn't be that... Right. But you're just like... But you're forcing your body to do something that it should not. Yeah, it's like, I want to take a break now, but I can't.

I can't. Because the song just... The playlist just switched songs. That's the best way to do a power hour, by the way, at least back in the day. We used to make 60-minute tapes with a minute of each song

so when you knew when the song... And then you would be like, you knew when the song sweet and then you would be like you're building the ultimate mixtape at that point because you get to pick 60 one minute you get to choose which 60 seconds of the song you want that's a lot of audio editing to do in service of drunkenness well you'd be surprised how much free time newly drinking high school and college kids what were some of the oh – on this power hour playlist, what were some of the – what were the song fragments that you would use? Of course. Cut my life into pieces.

This is my last – also you can guess when these things were made. Sure, yeah. There was got to keep them separated for sure. Oh, sure. There was Gotta Keep Them Separated for sure, like a little moment in there. And then there was like Prince is Prince to adore you that's what I said now.

Yeah, of course. Big I almost called them Stone Temple Pilots. What the fuck are those guys called? Spin Doctor. Spin Temple Pilots. You had some of the singles

from the Spin Doctor second album as well. I don't know. Much past Two Princes. But yeah, the Power Hour is a great way to just really change the pace of the entire evening. Sure. So you're hungover. Yeah, I am.

How could you want to talk about alcohol right now? You instigated this conversation. No, you're right. It was a mistake. I feel bad. While you were talking about it, I was thinking about doing it. And there's a time where we talk about that and it sounds fun to me. It's not now.

Yeah. Right. It was like hearing a murder described to me. What were you drinking last night? Blah! It just throws up. Yeah. I stuck to tequila.

Oh, nice. Open bar. Clear? Yes. Oh, okay. With a little seltzer or just on the rocks? Yeah, with a little club soda. That's my summertime drink. Tequila and club

soda. Yeah, that's my summertime like, I'm going to drink a lot drink. Yes. Yeah, like I won't drink a bunch of beer anymore because it really fucks my whole GI tract up. Sure, sure. I think I might be But I mean, what if somebody starts to pop a roach? You gotta slam a brewski. Alright,

dude, let's crack a couple of highlifes and get nuts. Yeah, yeah. I've done a few power. I did a chicken nugget power hour on Doughboys, which was absolutely destructive to my body. That is instead of drinking a shot of beer, that's eating a chicken nugget. Yes. It's like 60 chicken nuggets. I actually ate-

That's like five pounds of chicken nuggets. I actually ate over 60 because I accidentally, like I forgot to wait for the minute to go up. At one point, Nicole Byers was just like, are you like four or five ahead right now? And I was like, oh my god. Did you dip each of those? Oh, yeah. You dipped each of those? I had like 12 dips open.

That was like a dream for me. Did you just dip them in a cup of water like a competitive eater and a hot dog? No, in hindsight, that's what I should have done just to stay remotely hydrated. I went to see Fate of the Furious after I ate 60 McNuggets. Oh, boy. And I was like in the theater like holding my like liver, I think. Or holding a mass of fucking chicken. Like I feel like I still have it.

Like it'll show up on an x-ray, the chicken nuggets I ate. I feel like that movie too, Fate of the Furious, probably has several moments that probably approach the tone of like the brown note. Right, right. The fabled note that will make people shit themselves. So I imagine being in the theater. Let's just call it the Mandela note. The Mandela note, exactly. Yeah, being in the theater while that's happening, full of chicken nuggets, is probably uncomfortable.

Yeah, right before the movie started, I was like, ooh, I should pee. And it was at the Arclight Dome, and I ran down to go to the bathroom. And then when I came back to hit the stairs on the way back up, I grabbed the railing. I was like, this is very hard. And I felt short of breath. And I was like, I'm going to die for a fucking Doughboys episode. I felt like short of breath and I was like, I'm going to die for a fucking Doughboys episode. Right now I'm picturing you like having to fly.

So let's say you're doing Comedy Bang Bang Live in Tucson. Yes. And you're walking through that TSA gate with, you know, Paul F. Tompkins walks through fine. Scott Aukerman walks through fine. Then you go ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. And they're like, I'm sorry, sir. Are you holding a massive chicken nugget somewhere in your body? According to our scans, you have a balloon of pink slime inside your digestive tract.

And aren't you John Gabrus from Wild and Out? Yeah, that's me. Oh, you guys don't know Comedy Bang Bang? The Venn diagram of CBB and Wild Out is very small. What's Nick Cannon like in real life, and how do you expect to pass that massive meat paste? To answer both questions, Nick Cannon is very cool in real life. He's a very nice dude. And to answer that second question was, I'm not positive I've passed it.

And I recorded that episode several months ago. It fucked me up. It broke my metabolism for a week. I normally just shit in the morning and then for a week after that I was just shitting at the most random hours. Oh boy. That's what you guys were curious about. We were curious when you were shitting, yes. The listeners gotta know. Did you shit around

five? That's what we all want to know. Did it be, at what point does it – because I kind of like – I'm not a fast food guy. But if I'm in a fast food situation, if I'm driving and there's no In-N-Out burgers available or if I'm at an airport, just those situations where you end up eating fast food, I will eat chicken nuggets. I'll go get some chicken McNuggets from McDonald's and I'll enjoy it. They're great. They're tasty. At what point does it go from pleasant to unpleasant when you're eating them once a minute for an hour? It's like at minute 20.

Yeah. Because a 20-piece seems like that's a lot, but that's – But it's fun. It's an indulgence. It's an order. It exists. They But it's fun. It's an indulgence. It's an order. They sell that like that. Exactly. Right.

And then when you get to fucking nugget 35 and people are like, I can't do it anymore. And you're like, well, now I really want to finish. And then you have 25 more nuggets to eat. Because you've got to be the nugget king. I have a real hard time saying no and not taking – I'm like McFly, Marty McFly. Sure. Someone's like, I've eating cont'm like McFly, Marty McFly. Sure. Someone's like, I've – eating contests, drinking contests, like silly stunts. I think a lot of people are like I'm a comedy nerd but I think my comedy gods are jackass.

OK. Where most people are like I came up on Kids in the Hall. Harlan Pryor. Me, it's like Knoxville Party Boy. Sure. Chris Pontius. The Wild Boys. Jeff Tremaine. Colin Pryor. Me, it's like Knoxville party boy. Chris Pontius, the wild boys. Jeff Tremaine. Just like that guy was the stealth stud of Lost, you have stealth members of Jackass that you feel are underappreciated.

Oh, yeah. Aaron Danger. I wish I didn't know all these people. Of all the challenges you've subjected yourself to, has anything fucked you up as much as those chicken nuggets? Yes. One thing has fucked me up more than that. And it was at Orochin Ramen. They have like that hot – big hot bowl. This was eight years ago.

So maybe the place doesn't exist anymore. But some Koreatown ramen place where it's super hot ramen and if you finish it, you get your like Polaroid on the wall. Yeah. And I'm – quantity is not as much of an issue for me. I have like an ability to not be full. Speed is not an issue for me. I can fucking eat and drink so fast. But spiciness is not my strong suit.

I like a little spice but this bowl – like I finished this bowl and it was tinted red. Like the white bowl. It's like – and it's the size of a fucking like you know epic like it's like a shared ball sure and I'm just eating and it's like visible giant green peppers and the guys like you gotta eat the peppers and I'm like gotta be he's just sitting there stroking the Polaroid reminding you of what you could win yeah and then so I I it all, and now you're curious about my shitting before. Let me get into it a little bit now. Let's hear about that shit. I was staying at a friend's house, and I was up until 5 in the morning with lava coming out of me.

Oh, boy. I got to a point where I would just take a shit and then get into the shower and run ice-cold water out of the thing and just out of the shower head and just blast myself in the ass with it in between sessions. I needed anything to cool off. And then in hindsight, my brother tells me, who pledged to fraternity, so you learn the shit the hard way. He's like, your best bet is to sit in milk. Did you sit in milk? No, I didn't know that. I like that there's a protocol for that, that there is a – listen.

If you get hot sauce on your dick for whatever reason, if a pledge brother decides to dump Tabasco on your penis, but you can put milk on it. I want to know if you knew that you were on television and could have just given them a signed 8x10 of you with Nick Cannon. You with Nick Cannon. Like, I think that's all it would have taken to get you on the wall of the Koreatown ramen place is something that says John Gabrus MTV2. I think you might be right. But in the same breath, it was less about the Polaroid and more about, like, the fact that they have a challenge that exists and I need to beat it. That happened to me. I drank an entire gallon of dry cleaning fluid. To get on the wall of the dry cleaning. Yeah.

And I could have just had something that says that I've met Robert Siegel from all things considered. That's why you have no wrinkles. Yeah. Exactly. Absolutely. You're wondering, why has everyone from the local news been drinking dry cleaner fluid? Yeah. Well.

Where did I find this fluid? They didn't give it to me. By doing it in front of them. I snuck into their establishment, caught them by surprise. I brought my own Polaroid camera. Had to work really hard to get film for this. Most of the films expired these days.

They don't, Polaroid doesn't exist anymore. There's a bar near my house, Tom Bergen's, that I like a lot. And they have... Weirdly, it's owned by Tom Bergeron. Right, exactly. That's the Shazam protocol. And Tom Berringer is the

bartender. Tom Berringer's seen better days. In between episodes of Numbers. He also is on Numbers. They're all on Numbers. Everybody's on Numbers. Kromholtz, the guy from Ally McBeal. Is Regal.

Will from Will and Grace. Will from Will and Grace. He plays Will on it. It's very complicated. Yeah, it's good. It's the shared universe. Everyone's trying to make money off it. They all meet the boss baby at the end.

Is that the Irish place that's known for their Irish coffee? Yeah, it's good. It's the shared universe. Yeah, everyone's trying to make money. They all meet the boss baby at the end. Is that the Irish place that's known for their Irish coffee? Yeah, yeah. I've been there a couple of times. I really like it. Yeah, just a great classic bar. I've been there forever. And they put the names. So they have two strange decoration quirks.

They have a wall that is like kind of beautiful, you know, kind of pencil charcoal looking drawings of high school football coaches. And then they have the names of regulars on shamrocks that are on the ceiling. And, you know, it would be cool to be, and, you know, the bar's been there since, you know, the 50s, so some of these things are old. And, you know, I feel like I go there enough, so I ask the bartender, I'm like, hey, what do you got to do to get a shamrock? And he's like, well, periodically, the staff will meet and we'll discuss uh who amongst the regulars should get a shamrock he was so vague he like had he had it it there's a

shamrock cabal and i don't know how to penetrate it i have the same problem when when i lived here in koreatown uh i was would regularly go with my wife to the HMS Bounty. I love that place. It's a nautical-themed restaurant and bar in the basement of an apartment building or in the ground floor of an apartment building. Great place. One of the last

few dive bars, right? Yeah. I mean, it's a genuine... It is very, very much what it is. And they have booths there there and the booths have plaques and the plaques had names that i didn't recognize on them but i i had always like all i wanted in the world was to get on one of these plaques and then one day i was sitting in a booth and i looked over and i noticed that the plaque was new and it was for Kate Flannery from The Office and The Lampshades.

And now I'll introduce this comment by saying this. Kate Flannery is brilliantly hilarious, not just in The Office, but in her comedy music group, The Lampshades. Yeah, I shot a movie with her called The Fourth Man Out, and she's fucking great in it. Yeah. And we hung out a lot in Albany, and she was cool as hell. Yeah, so Kate Flannery's awesome. Were people just putting up plaques everywhere she went?

Yeah, it was like, we just had Meredith from The Office here. But I was like, I am 65% as famous as Kate Flannery. Once The Office is off the air, I'm like, I got 60 to 65. Once the office is off the air, I'm like, I got 60 to 65. Like, I'm two-thirds of the way to Kate Flannery-level fame, but I have to convince these – I have to figure out how to subtly signal to these people that I'm on NPR. Like, that's my card. They don't know what NPR is. They don't care that I'm on NPR.

It's better that they don't know. Yeah, exactly. It's best that they not know that I'm by far the least successful person on NPR. Just hearing you are on it is good enough. But I just needed some way, like I wanted to go there and a couple times when I was there, like someone would recognize me and like come up to the, and I wanted when that would happen, which is not a regular thing in my life. When that would happen and they would apologize to me like, I'm sorry that I'm bothering you, but are you Jesse Thorne? And she's like, can you do this again when the owner is here?

Yes, that's exactly. You're not bothering me at all. Let's open up to the house. Sure. Can you angle outward and speak up a little? All I want is one of these plaques. Give me a plaque. And there was a sandwich place here in Los Angeles that was naming sandwiches after public radio personalities.

And I have not gotten a sandwich. I'm like, just name a sandwich after me. Who is the least famous public radio person that has a sandwich currently? I'm talking about fucking local NPR personalities. I'm national, baby. I'm national. America's sweet heart of palms sub. Yeah, exactly.

That's what we all want. A heart of palms sub is a heart of palms. Get those palms. Fresh out of the can. Some palms, some mayo. Yeah, there's a tiki bar in Van Nuys called the Tonga Hut. And they have a Order of the Drooling Bastard, which is like for people who have had like 80 – it's like 70 different tiki drinks over the course of a year. You have to get it in one year.

And I've had a couple of friends who were like, I think we should make a move on this. Yeah. couple of friends who were like i think we should make a move on this yeah and i think like we've we've had to cancel plans like twice because you're not allowed to make a run for it uh on friday and saturday nights which is the most ideal time to go to a bar and drink seven based drinks uh so we're trying to find a day to like get the or get cracking on it but it's like as you get older you have less and less time to be like, can you get together during the week and have seven Mai Tai adjacent drinks? So let's get our calendars and find out when we can drink rum at four. It's like, well, let's make sure we look at the next day.

Sure, yeah. I'm picturing you, John, and your pals renting a disused warehouse, like spreading some blueprints out on a table. Sure, yeah. Like circling things. Setting up a command center. Drawing arrows, stealing a car and switching the plates. Bringing in like racks and racks of Gatorade. Maybe you have a little earpiece where there's like a kind of a nerdy hot woman somewhere

and she's on a computer and she's giving you drinking advice. She's like, I've got eyes on this, but I got to enhance this picture. Right. Zoom in on the zombie. She's like, yeah, drink it. You're like, oh, boy. She's like, use the straw. Oh, thank you.

Good advice. Speaking of defying death. Yes. I was at my cabin this week. John, for your benefit, I have a cabin in the Sequoia National Forest. And this is for my benefit. I could use it whenever is what you're saying. I want to invite you to use it.

This is for your benefit. You and your wife can go up, have a lovely weekend. Sure. And if you're looking for a private place to have ramen shits, it's nice. It's like cool. Thank you, Jesse. There's a milk bath. You have a milk basin already

she can dunk your ass in it um you have to pack the milk up because there's not a store in town good to know i i was up there this this past week with uh my daughter's best buddy from preschool and her parents um and we you know you don't sleep that much when there's that many children under five so it was two five-year-olds a three-year-old and a baby there and there's a lot of action so you're pretty dazed all the time and my wife and i were asleep two nights ago and uh at like 12 15 12 30 in the morning we get a knock at our bedroom door and the heads of our friends, Ivan and Michelle,

appear in the crack of the door like, Hello. You know, like, Yeah, like I would say like fourth graders solving a mystery style, like one on top of the other, like a totem pole. Snowman style.

And Michelle goes, she goes, hey, guys. And we were waking up and I was in the deepest part of the sleep. You know, sometimes you're woken up by something and you're like reasonably alert. And sometimes you wake up and you're not sure where you are. You're not sure what's going on. And just the first words are sorry to wake you up guys but we think there's a bear and so i'm like oh you know like let's not wake a baby you're like this could be part of a dream this is this is a dream this is hands down

dream b well particularly with their heads on top of each other like a totem pole and I couldn't see their bodies. And then there was a guy there who didn't look like your dad, but you knew it was your dad. Exactly. He was in the shadows. He was still pissed about that Little League strikeout. So I roll out of bed. And be a penis. I'm naked.

I'm naked and I have to give an oral report. Right, yeah. So I roll out of bed and I'm like, it can't. What do you mean? There's no such thing as bears. Exactly. Not in this universe. You're thinking of the Mandela effect.

And they're like, come to our bedroom. So I'm like, okay. All right. Yeah. This dream is getting better. There's a bear attack. Can we sleep with you? Someone finally figured out what the cabin is for.

Yeah. Oh, for stab. It's the stabbing cabin. I thought it was for my benefit. We went to the- Well, if you'd like to do some stabbing in the cabin. It's the stabbing cabin, baby. We went to the bedroom, and on the way, I they're like, there's noises from where the garbage is and I'm like

it's fucking isn't it raccoons or something? Because the garbage is out back and it's below their window. Oh, okay. So we get into the bedroom and they're like, just listen. Just listen. And it's silence. Like, total

silence and this whole time I'm just thinking like total silence. And this whole time I'm just thinking like. Just listen. One of them lets a little fart out. Gotcha. Go back to sleep. And they cup it, throw it in your face. Good night, Jesse.

The song changes. Yeah, yeah. Time for another. So they're like, just listen. And I'm thinking like, this is fucking raccoons. Why am I awake? What's going on? Who am I?

You know, all these thoughts. But then I also have that kind of, I don't know if this happens body like the entire time, like until it's like 9 a.m. If I get up to 445 to catch an airplane, I'm crazy for the next four hours. Like I'm worried someone's behind me or whatever. Right. And I had that feeling and it was silence. And this whole time, it's like 30 seconds of silence. I'm just like, fuck this.

I don't get to sleep, and they just woke me up. What's going on? There's nothing to hear. And then you just hear this sound that goes... And I'm like, fuck, let's run. Let's make a, let's bolt. It was the most terrifying sound. Like, it might as well have been.

Are you outside at this point? No, we're inside. Okay. And we can't see anything out the window. All we hear is basically the sound a dragon makes. Right. Like, before fire comes out of its mouth. Like, that is absolutely what it is.

It's going through the garbage. Oh, God, fucking Babadook. And I'm like, okay. And in my head, I'm like, okay. You know, they wash, their Babadooks are very clean. They wash their food before they eat it. Yeah. I'm like, opposable thumbs.

Yeah, yeah. And they mate for life. I'm like, okay. I don't know what that is, but I'm on board for preparing for the bear hypothesis. You know what I mean? I am just in the same way that my opinion maybe is that, sure, we can't be certain that human beings are creating global climate change. But either way, we should be preparing for it.

Like the odds are good enough that we need to address it head on. We can't just stick our heads in the sand. Please leave politics out of this story. I'm very curious about it. So I'm like, I'm thinking like, what do I have to do? Because the immediate feeling that I have,

and this maybe is not a feeling you guys are yet familiar with. I don't know much about your personal life, John, is my children are going to die. Like immediately it goes from this is raccoons to my children's lives are under threat. And also my father was sleeping on the ground floor and my father is old and kind of confused. I thought you were going to say on the ground. Jesus.

My grandfather's sleeping on the floor. Let me just say this. The song had changed a number of times. Say no more. He doesn't do what he calls sissy camping. He just lays down on the ground. Underneath the garbage cans. This is how my father camped.

That's how I camp. If you could have read his T-shirt, if I had a photograph to show you, you would read that it said one tequila, two tequilas, three tequilas, four. Oh, man. Jesus. Someone's keeping Spencer Gibson. You know, the first time I read that shirt, I'm like, it's going to say four. Yeah.

And then it didn't. Yeah. It's a real surprise. So I'm like, okay, I got to go downstairs and close the windows because it's like 85 degrees in the day. So we have all the windows in the cabin are open. Yeah. And I'm like, if that's a bear, I have to close the windows. But in order to close the windows, I have to go to the part of the house that's most likely to contain a bear.

Sure. The honey room. Exactly. I got to close all the salmon windows. Why did we have these installed? We thought we loved salmon at the time. They return to our cabin every year to spawn. Is there a weapon available to you?

Is there a fireplace poker? It occurred to me afterwards that we actually have bear spray in the cabin. It's not bear spray that I had bought, but it's bear spray that the previous owners had left there. So I don't know if it's still effective. So not worth even trying. Yeah, but I don't have

like, I should have thought of like a kitchen knife or as you said, a fireplace poker, a baseball bat that's next to my bed, anything. But I was pretty defenseless, and I was also worried that my penis would come out of my pajamas in front of people that I don't know well enough. Yeah. Those are my two biggest fears, the penis coming out of the pajamas

in front of acquaintances and bears. So I can only imagine how you were feeling at that moment. I go downstairs. I close the windows on sort of the sides of the cabin. The bear sounds are coming from the back wall. So I close the side windows first. And I'm like, great. No bears are coming in there. And then I have to face the fact that I have to engage with the back or, in this case, bear wall. And so I go back and I get to the kitchen window. Kitchen window's open and I'm hearing raccoonish sounds, you know, like just regular raccoonish sounds. Food washing.

The sound of thumbs. Exactly. So I close that window and I'm nervous, but I'm fine. I close that window and then I remember, okay, there's a big window in my dad's bedroom. My dad is asleep, and that's right where the garbage is. The garbage is immediately outside that window. So whatever is happening is coming from immediately outside that window. Take a nice snooze right next to an open window with 90-degree garbage.

Yeah. This is your room, dad. Further context for this is my dad is 74 years old he uh is somewhat befuddled at this point as i said um not always but often he's a little befuddled especially when he's tired and he has severe post-traumatic stress disorder. So you shouldn't wake him. But at the same time, if he wakes, his behavior could be unpredictable. So I'm standing with my hand on the doorknob thinking,

do I try and sneak around my dad, who's asleep right now, like a cat burglar style, and save him from this bear? I feel like there was a board game that could help us with this. Or do I wake him and risk a PTSD freak out? That could be, not to make light of your dad's condition, but that could be helpful if there was a bear there. That's true. If he went into some sort of fight mode.

Yeah. I think that is probably the best argument for waking him up is that his military training plus his military trauma would sort of combine into something that could take down a bear. Yeah. And so I decided to just kind of open the door and go, hi, dad. It's me. Hi, dad. It's me. And just kind of repeat that for a bear. Yeah. And so I decided to just kind of open the door and go, hi, dad. It's me. Hi, dad. It's me. And just kind of repeat that for a while in the idea that, like, hopefully if he did, like, I wouldn't try and wake him up.

But if he woke up, the first thing he would hear would be his child that he loves saying, hi, dad. It's me. Rather than. There's a fucking bear. Dragons. And so the blinds are closed. It's like louvered blinds on the window. I definitely can stand this.

And I'm like, I have to take a look at the louvered. What can I say? I'm very successful. Excuse us. Someone had Chip and Joe visit. And so I have to see. The blinds are closed. I have to see if this window is open because I don't know if my dad opened the window.

So I reach for the blinds. I'm like, here it goes. And I open the louvers and there is a fucking bear 18 inches from me. Like a full on black bear. The ass specifically of a full on bear. Literally, if the window was, literally if the window was thank god the window was closed but if the window had been open i could have reached through the window and petted felt the ass headed the bear and it was this crazy like it was like that car accident

feeling like where time goes on forever but you can also like you feel like you could do anything but also that everything is going wrong at once uh all of those things happened and uh i i was like okay what i have to do is close the blinds like let's let this bear bear around yeah so i closed i closed the blind. I made sure the back door was locked. I wasn't sure if bears can use doors. Yeah. I was like – You're thinking of raptors.

Right. Exactly. But, I mean, you know, emotions are running high. Sometimes you confuse bears and raptors in intense moments. And then I was just – I just stood there at the back door with my father's bedroom door open as he slept. there at the back door with my father's bedroom door open as he slept and i thought if this bear wakes up my dad will my dad try to fight the bear like there is a 35 chance that if my dad was awakened by a bear he would go into full-on combat mode and fight the bear and i like, do I wake him up to tell him there's a bear, which will freak him out, but

I will have more control over the situation. And I decided, I was like, I'm gonna roll the dice, let him sleep, and see if my dad can sleep through a bear. He slept through the bear. We were all mauled. Yeah. Right.

Dad got a great night's sleep. Anyway, sat into this story. While I was being mauled, my penis came out of my pants. That was embarrassing. Last thing I wanted. Embarrassing. But I literally, like, my fingers were tingling the next two days at the prospect that around any corner could be a bear. Yeah.

Like, the idea of opening a window, like, and then could be a bear yeah like the idea of opening a opening a window like and then there is a bear like a bear is right there it was just walking around making bear noises yeah it was going through the garbage it was excited about the garbage and so i asked my neighbors like i was like i think there was a bear at my house yesterday. And they're like, yeah. They're like, did you have any garbage? And I was like, yeah. And they're like, that's a real bear magnet.

And I was like, well, what the fuck do you do with your garbage? Do you keep it in your house? And they're like, yeah. Okay. I'm like, oh. Good to know. They're like, you can get a bear box for your garbage. But otherwise, yeah, we'd pretty much just keep it in our house.

It was the most – I got a lot to learn about living in the country. Got to get some more of that spray. Now it's time for one of my favorite segments on Jordan and Jessica. It's Gabrus' Math Corner. Now the equation I want you to solve is what is the sum of the percentage that jesse's dad would fight a bear plus the percentage that he is as famous of kate flannery oh yeah that's a great little math question and we'll uh if you tweet at me the answer i will send you a prize no wait that's an exaggeration i'll dm you a picture of my genitals.

More of a punishment. It's almost like, why are you in this bar? If you're that much of a fucking nerd, you deserve it. Fuck you, nerds. Here's my car. But maybe they're a Wild N' Out fan. Right. And they've been thinking about that sweet dong. If they're a Wild N' Out fan, they already work at the TSA.

If they already work at the TSA, they've already been in the room where the bulletin board is just printouts of John Gabrus' dog from that machine where you do the Rockefeller diamond sign over your head and it scans you. Diamond Dallas Page for WWE fans. Okay. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse go. How many times has this happened to you? Oh man. If only I knew whether it was better to be too hot or too cold or who the best James Bond was, that girl would have gone out with me. Now you can with, we Got This With Mark and Hal, the podcast from MaximumFun.org every

Tuesday. Hey, Lois, it's Joey. The best James Bond was Daniel Craig, and it's better to be too cold than too hot. Thanks, We Got This With Mark and Hal. Only on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get fine podcasts. Or wherever you get fine podcasts. Hey, Jordan, Jesse Go fans. It's your old pal, Jesse.

And Jordan, a guy you like. Better than me, certainly. Ample evidence. Hey, guess what? We're coming to your town, Los Angeles and London. Yes, if you live in one of the world's finest state cities that start with l yeah we're coming to you sorry lisbon yeah you're out we're coming to you we'd love to come to lisbon if you uh you know if you own a theater in lisbon and want to fly us out we'd love to come shout out to fucking Lisbon. Yeah. Show LA and London who's boss.

I would like to do a Spain and Portugal tour. We could do a show with our friends, the popular Spanish language podcast Los Hematocriticos. In Barcelona or something. And then hit Lisbon. I hear Lisbon's a hot spot these days. Let's make that happen. Okay. But first. But first.

But first. August 12th, the Max Fun Beer Blast featuring Jordan Jessigo at Angel City Brewery. It's going to be an extravaganza. So fun. Cheap tickets about to go on sale. Go to MaximumFun.org for more information or follow us on Twitter. We'll announce once those cheap tickets go on sale. This is going to be, if you live in Southern California, you're not going to miss this.

You're not going to want to miss this. We're going to have some music from Open Mike Eagle. Yep. We're going to have celebrity guests. Yes. It's going to be an extravaganza. We might even have a PowerPoint presentation. Ooh.

And hey, if you're a brew drinker, some of the best brews in the world, they're at Angel City Brewery. So come on by. Have a pint. Yeah. Laugh. Glug glug.

Listen to music. Bottoms up. Get those cheap tickets when they go on sale August 12th. Speaking of tickets, you should also get tickets to our show in London, England at the London Podfest. We're bringing Jordan Jesse Go to town alongside Judge John Hodgman in the Beef and Dairy Network podcast. It's going to be a blast and a half. We had so much fun there doing Judge John Hodgman in International Waters last year. They specifically requested Jordan Jesse Go.

They said, we want Jordan Jesse Go to come out there. I don't think they knew how few listeners we have. Yeah. So we're going to need you to buy tickets wherever you are in the United Kingdom. And not just in the United Kingdom. And not just in the United Kingdom, in the Commonwealth. If you're in Australia, if you're in Canada, anywhere that recognizes

the sovereignty of the Queen, we're requesting your presence. You have to come to both these shows. You can find more information at MaximumFun.org in the live show calendar, including tickets, links to buy tickets. It is going to be so great and so fun.

We hope that we will see you there August 12th and September 15th in Los Angeles and London, respectively. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, like 70% or 75% as famous as Kate Flannery now. You've been in a movie with her. Yeah. You deserve that booth, baby. Yeah. I don't hang out there enough, though. Can we team up on it? Can the two of us just go there once a week until they give us a shared booth?

Sort of like- Because together, we're like 130% as famous as Kate Flannery. Rather than bringing six 10s to the club, you bring 10 6s. Exactly. Maybe they should call the booth ten sixes. Exactly. Maybe they should call the booth Thorbrus. Let's just get enough medium famous people in one room and see if we can get a booth out. Right. What about this?

Here's an idea. There's a restaurant right near my house. Great restaurant. I'm going to give it a shout out. La Abeja. Anybody who lives in northeast LA, you're going to want to hit up La Abeja. Tell them Jesse sent you. They got some nice booths there.

And because it's one of the only places besides my house that my children are willing to eat, I'm literally there 1.3 times a week. Right. Okay. You know, very friendly basis with the family that owns it, you know, everything. We're real regulars. They don't have plaques on the booths, but if I just brought a drill and a plaque. They wouldn't say no.

They wouldn't say no. It's better to apologize, beg forgiveness, than to ask permission, right? Let's just get a few plaques made up and say this is dedicated to Jesse Thorne. And just let's put them everywhere. Let's put them in trees and shit. Put them in other people's cars. Magnets you could just slap on the back of a car. I would love that. I put up –

Jesse, I know you're a big Sarah Palin fan. So, I mean, let's get those plaques in there and drill, baby, drill. Right? I put up the address number sign on my cabin this weekend, which is like, you know, it's like you get it from the fire department. Like it's a reflective thing so that if your house is on fire, they can find it in the woods. And I put it into a tree, and I felt like a king. I felt like I was really dominating Mother Nature.

You know what I mean? Like really giving it to her. And the sign on our cabin says Wanda's Chalet. And I put it right underneath that Wanda's Chalet sign. Why does it say Wanda's Chalet? A woman named Wanda owned it, and I'm not shitting you, three owners ago. And people just don't want to change it. Just no one has taken it down.

I think that's – you've got to leave it up at this point, right? Yeah, I know. And now Wanda's Chalet. Yeah, we named it after our dog. We call it in the family, we call it Coco's Cabin. And we're hoping to make a sign. By the way, if anyone out there is a sign maker, holler at me. But we're hoping to make a sign that says Coco's Cabin.

But, like, yeah, we kind of don't want, like, we were like, should we take the Wanda's Chalet sign and frame it and put it in the living room? It's so magical. You've got to leave it as part of the history of the cabin for when you eventually sell it or are taken down in a David Koresh type situation. Whichever one happens. You should just, when people ask who's Wanda, just go, oh, my late wife. Leave it and then stare off like you don't want to talk about it anymore and just create a mythos. Yeah. Okay.

When something momentous happens to you, give us a call, 206-984-4FUN. Staring down the butt end of a bear would be a good example. There you go. Put that telephone number. Yeah, why didn't you call? Well, I'm a host of the show, so we could have saved a lot of time if you would have just called. Called that in. Yeah, we could have saved a lot of time if you would have just called that in. Yeah, we could have combined the segments.

I can kind of expand it, but what's fun is I can expand it in a sort of narrative form. It allows you guys to interject some comic relief in this tale of terror. Yeah, I mean, probably artistically it was the better way to go, but I'm just – I mean, efficiency. I think that's what we need on this show. We're trying to get to the bed and get some Carl's Jr. Yes. Get in bed. Some of us need to get Carl's Jr. in bed.

Some of us need to find out where Jordan lives and share a bed with him for about an hour. That's why I voted for Rudy Giuliani to be the host of this show because I feel like he could really whip things into shape. Sure, yeah. Sometimes you need – if you've got a Democratic legislature, you need a Republican executive to make sure the ship is tight. Oh, yeah. You need a true vampire of a person who's been writing off something he did 15 years ago pretty well. Gamer, do you want to do a Western bacon cheeseburger power hour in bed? Oh, fuck yeah. You can only do that in bed. 206-984-4FUN, that telephone number.

Let's hear our first call. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, Sonny D, Christian, and guests. This is Sarah in Knoxville, Tennessee, calling to report the best day of my life. In December, after 30 years of single life, I met a man with two adorable daughters and fell head over heels. For the past few days, I've been taking care of him post knee surgery. Yesterday, he

was able to leave the house, no longer taking pain pills, so we got lunch, went to the comic book store, I showed him my favorite thrift store, and we both bought ukuleles at Guitar Center and spent the rest of the evening learning to play them we are both shy so we'd yet to drop the l word last night after we put away our ukes and were falling asleep he looked at me and said i love you you know it was the best day i've ever ever had thanks guys for making me laugh each week kisses from kn from Knoxville. Oh, come on. Give me a break.

Give me a break with this fucking call. Get out of Knoxville. Give it a rest, you guys. This lady is a fucking liar. That happened to me. That's my story. I had knee surgery. Yeah.

God, wow. Getting a couple of yukes. I mean, come on. I mean mean it was a very cute story i don't want to take anything away from kisses from nashville but that was twee af sure i mean listen truly amazing is this woman a parody of one of our listeners sure ah are we grateful yes absolutely I mean she really the secret is to make a to make a to make a shape

you need three points right you need at least three points otherwise you just have a line exactly so she starts it

I took him to the comic book store she pivots over to then I showed him my favorite thrift store then she finishes it off with we got a couple of ukes at the guitar center.

That's three, that gives you a field and what fills in that field? Love. It's love. They wrote a tandem bike from location to location. Right, they left that out and then the next day. Set to a Belle and Sebastian song. And spent the weekend at the Red Fair.

I am really happy for her I'm worried she's gonna stop listening to Jordan Jesse go in my mind to the extent

that we have listeners I mean there's the guy in Portland yeah can you think of anybody else that listens to this show I mean I've

that one guy yeah John listened to the one with Seth Morris right you have that dude in Brooklyn but he wasn't listening anymore yeah yeah after the Seth Morris episode sure yeah and have that dude in Brooklyn. John Gabrus. But he wasn't listening anymore.

Yeah, yeah. After the Seth Morris episode. Sure, yeah. And you just lost that one TSA worker from Albuquerque that listens that I just defended by accident.

Yeah, so I think in my mind, Jordan Jesse Goh sort of the reason to listen, and I know everyone has a different reason from coast to coast,

both of the guys. But the main reason is it sort of fills a love-shaped hole inside you. Right, because you're empty. Yeah. Something in you is empty. There's something missing from your life, and so you're so desperate that you're just clicking on things in iTunes randomly. So it's like, oh, give me Dave Ramsey. Give me Hardcore History.

Give me these fucking assholes in a go-kart. Is that a podcast? That's our logo. Oh, okay. Assholes in a go-kart is an Earwolf show. That's right. Stitcher premium. In a soapbox racer.

Lorelai gets good on everything. So I think once she has love, we're done. Oh, yeah. She doesn't need the same way. She has things to do. She has a man to take care of. Sure. Two kids.

I just in this moment realized that Jordan Jesse Goh is JJG, which is my initials, Jonathan James Gabriel. Do you know that we named this after you? Well, honestly, it's like I have definitely known the name of this podcast for a half a decade and never put together that it's jjg well when we initially started this show 11 years ago we said there's a young man named john gabrus who's a within six or seven years is gonna be is gonna be on wild and out with nick cannon i love the level of fame that I have. He's like so specific. How does Nick Cannon still look like a handsome 19 year old? He is buff as

fuck. He really does take care of himself. He's gotta be like 35, right? He's at least 35. He's at least 35. If not, I'm 35 and I feel like he was a little bit ahead of me coming up. And he still like him and Pharrell both look like gorgeous college students. And Nick Cannon has lupus too.

Really? Yeah. He's fighting lupus. And he is just very fit too. And has had money since he was 16. So I think that helps you stay looking young. Sure. Right.

Yeah. He's been sleeping in air conditioning his whole life. Is that the main thing? That's enough. That's the central. A good night's rest will really do you something. Man, I think the lesson here is we've got to get some of that lupus. Ooh, we've got to get lupus.

Yeah, the big takeaway from this is if I had lupus, I would be an insanely buff hip-hop rapper comedian. And married to Mariah Carey briefly still is? No longer. No longer. For a medium period of time. I think they were married for a little while, right? They have kids.

They have two kids. Yeah. Their kids are cute as hell. Well, you wouldn't expect them to be homely. Yeah. Right. Exactly. Yeah.

The Roy Dexter. Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey's kids are a real mess, you guys. Yeah. They come from good stuff. What a couple of uggos. The children of the two most beautiful people on earth are. Can I tell you something about Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey's kids? Yeah, they sleep in air conditioning, baby.

Oh, yeah. They're going to be fucking cool. Oh, yeah. They're going to look great. Cool as cucumbers. Cool as cucumbers. They have a guy who comes by and mists them while they sleep. Oh, yeah.

And they did not ask him to do that. Right. They're actually trying to find that guy. I wish this guy— He used to miss David Letterman back in the 80s. Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's take our next call. Hey, guys.

This is a listener in Wisconsin calling with a momentous occasion. Can you pause this, Casey? Think about all this stuff that people have revealed on Jordan Jesse Go calling in momentous occasions over the last 11 years or 12 years or however long we've been doing this show. All the crazy shit that people have called in from their three ways people have uh called in the first time they like appeared publicly in their uh gender we've had like i mean every kind of uh every kind of wild unusual amazing human experience has been shared on jordan jesse go including some real gross ones. Sure.

And all of them have had a name attached. And this guy calls in and says, hi, this is a listener. So this is probably going to be really insane. Then you're guessing by his desire for anonymity that he might be about to share a weird momentous occasion. Will this be our first murder?

Is this our first murder? I'm the DC sniper. Goodbye. Wait, what? I'm the Hollywood child mister. My first crime. And what has been misting all those Hollywood childs. Okay.

Go back to the beginning and play this again, Casey, because I feel like that is the context for this call. Hey, guys. This is a listener in Wisconsin calling with a momentous occasion. I'm just calling to say that I just successfully sued my employer. They did some fishy stuff, weren't paying me right, told me I wasn't eligible for overtime, things like that. At any rate, I finally finished up.

I'm just now holding the check. I'm not rich. It's a high four figures. But, it was a little intimidating, but it happened. And I can't tell you exactly who I am, because part of this is a non-disclosure agreement. Anyway, love the show.

Thanks. I like that. And then I murdered them. Come on. Where's the... We may have front-porched it a little too much. Maybe. That made it seem a little too low stakes once we've established the possibility. Can I... We'll fix that in editing. But a victory against the man?

Yeah. I'll take it. Can I make this a call-out? Sure. Jordan Jeshigo is your place to violate NDAs. Right, yeah. This week. If you were a PA on The Bachelor and you know who wins The Bachelor, call us.

Violate your NDAs anonymously on Jordan Jesse Go right now. 206-9844-FUN. I don't care what the NDA is. I want you to violate it on our program. Get it off your chest. You'll feel better. I had an Apple commercial audition is like the most recent NDA I've seen. Oh, and this is not John Gabers. This is a caller from Los Angeles.

See, you're already calling in at 206-984-4-1. You're already doing it. To tell us that you auditioned for the commercial for the new Apple Fleshlight that's coming soon. Violate those NDAs. Violate those NDAs on our program 206-984-4-FUN. Please,

if you're out there right now, any kind of NDA. It's just easier to use the iPussy because it syncs up with my laptop. Yeah.

Right. The other one doesn't have a lightning port. It's still got a USB-C Yeah But they're trying to trick you Into buying the cloud storage Yeah

It always feels like Yeah They'll On the other hand What if you end up That's where the semen goes It goes into the cloud Okay thank you

End up with testicular cancer Or something End up with testicular cancer You might wish that you had That cloud storage I've got five gigs Of cum in the cloud I don't know how to get it.

Sex tape too? Forgot my fucking password. 206-984-4FUN. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jessica. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, not just fat yeah you're a big man you're beefy yeah a lot of people when they meet me uh who've never met me before to say oh you're bigger than i thought and i'm like what and they're like no i mean uh tall uh because like every show you just look fat you know that's when you're fat everyone's just like oh you're fat but if you're also six foot two no one considers you tall well you're

not particularly fat i mean like you're overweight certainly but you're more but you're more a big guy than you are a fat guy. Yes, I carry it well. I'm over 300 pounds, but you would never guess that. But, like, on television, like, what it takes to be the fat guy on television is so tiny. Like, it really just takes, like, a slightly different jaw shape. When they called Pally fat on Happy Endings, I was like, oh, I'll never be on a sitcom. Yeah, remember when that was the joke about

Zach Galifianakis? I feel like those Hangover movies are just people calling him fat. Right. And he's like, he's not, you know, he's just not ripped. Ten pounds overweight, seven pounds overweight, maybe. He's the standard amount of overweight people in their mid to late 30s are.

Sure, yeah. He just looks like a guy at Disneyland. He just doesn't look like Bradley Cooper. Yeah, that is the way the show business is. Somebody tweeted at me today. I was tweeting about some soul music from the late 1990s. Oh, yeah. Well, Sunday morning.

I was... I had gotten... I had gotten home from my trip. I am a week at my cabin, so fucking chill. And I immediately read an article

about the band Haim in... Yeah. In the New York Times. I have no problem at all with the band Haim. They're a perfectly good band.

They rock live live by the way they really are fucking great live they're all drummers and they'll end a couple of stuff play a couple of songs at the end where all three of them are on the drums singing and three different drum sets it's pretty fucking good that sounds dope yeah so I have no beef with them but there was this

mention of that one of the things they were really into was 90s R&b and i for some reason i am like upset by indie rock people talking about how much they love 90s r&b which is a very very common thing for indie rock people to talk about and because i don't know what the fuck that means like what is this you just hang out listening to mary j blige or something like what is this? Do you just hang out listening to Mary J. Blige or something? Like, what is the meaning of that? And so I immediately got in a fight with myself on Twitter. Like, immediately I was like, I am too relaxed and happy.

I've been off the internet for a week. I have to get myself upset while I'm tired. So I started ranting about saying that your fucking influence is 90s R&B. Some good things came out of it. It's about time someone finally took this stance. Yeah. Some good things came out of it. I got a nice reply from the band Blitz and Trapper. That was nice.

Indie rock guys, they made a little joke about how they were influenced by R&B. I got a fave star from Craig Finn ofitz and Trapper. That was nice. And the indie rock guys, they made a little joke about how they were influenced by R&B. I got a fave star from Craig Finn of the Hold Steady. That was nice. Came out of it. But mostly I just upset myself.

And the main reply that I got that really earned it was, it was a like your big comment. It was, I don't really listen to your podcasts anymore, but you're still my soul brother. Thanking me for mentioning Omar, this British soul singer

from the 90s. And I was like, what do I do with this? Do I mute this person? Do I star this tweet? Do I reply thank you? Do I, and that in-between between world i find the longer i've been a very

minor public figure the the less i am bothered by people who hate me and the more i am bothered by people who like me and say something weird yeah yeah i think that's i mean that seems like that's why mute was invented for the for the unintentionally insulting. Yeah. I just love that Mute. Mute exists to be like, thank you, I guess. And then there you go in the pile with all my friends who are recently plugging pilots. Haim, I saw them at Gentlemen of the Road in Tulsa – no, in Guthrie, Oklahoma.

And that was like a festival kind of thing and I was performing at the after show doing some comedy so we got like VIP badges and I was just sitting on the side of the stage while fucking Heim rocked out with like three sets of drums and it was very hot it's very like nasty planes hot just nothing no shade anywhere and these women i was gonna say chicks 35 these chicks are just fucking jamming and it's so awesome i'm so into it and then when they walk off stage one of them just passes out and i was like these girls rock so fucking hard literally they walked off stage like at after the end the crowd was going apeshit and then they're walking back down and the one one of the women faints one of the heim sisters just passes out i was like holy shit this has been fun that's rock

i fucking yeah you pass out and it's not even because someone just uh put a cape around your shoulders on stage like james brown style like it's you wait till you get off stage to do the cape routine i i hope it is because of because of how hard they rocked it, not because of some condition. Right, right. Well, that's what I thought. I choose to believe it's because of hard rocking, and that fucking rules.

I recently told that story to someone. I'm like, and hopefully it wasn't just like low blood sugar or else that story. She's like, I need an apple. Yeah. They usually have a bunch of apples on stage, and I always try to figure out the symbolism of that. Sure, yeah.

Now you know the one is just – She's trying to keep her glucose. It happens to Sufjan Stevens. He passes out after he gets off stage, but that's just because he doesn't usually stay up past 10. Right. He's a sleepy man. He's still on album six of 50 for the United States. Our engineer this week is Casey O'Brien.

Thank you, Casey. Our producer, Brian Fernandez in London, England. You can hashtag it JJGo on Twitter. You can join us on Facebook in the Maximum Fun Facebook group. There's usually a fun discussion there or on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com. That, by the way, the perfect place to write a comment that is both complimentary and insulting in a weird, confusing way.

I kind of still avoid Reddit. The discussions in the Maximum Fun Reddit are so great, like so consistently like positive and interesting. Oh, cool. Yeah, the Maximum Fun Reddit

is like a really special corner of Reddit where nothing... I joined the San Francisco Giants Reddit and I keep wanting to quit it because it makes me so crazy. But yeah, the Maximum Fun Reddit is a really fun place with a lot of positive vibes. John, what's the name of that podcast you do again? I have a podcast called High and Mighty and then I also have a Patreon podcast called Action boys with a z where me ben rogers and ryan stanger review 80s action movies and sounds dope it's as self-indulgent as it gets i i is your is your podcast high and mighty uh named after the late 1990s underground hip-hop group no it's not though you're not the first

person to ask okay actually here's a Actually, here's the funny thing. I named it after, like, I love the double entendre of, like, I am a big, strong person who smokes weed almost daily. And then on top of that, I take bold stances and often am wrong but disagree with everyone around me. But one time I was at a bar in New York City, randomly, like a midtown bar. Recently, I was, like, shooting something. I was like, oh, I'll go grab a drink. And then as I was walking out bar in New York City randomly like a midtown bar recently I was like shooting something I was like oh I'll go grab

a drink and then as I was walking out someone just grabbed me by the shoulder and was like are you John Gabrus and I turned around and I'm ready to be like yeah so where do you know me from haha and he's like we're the high and mighty brass band and you have stolen all of our like we are now 50th on Google or whatever and I was like

holy shit I met cause I before that someone had told me about the – We do an action movie podcast. You're fucking killing us. Yeah. But it was just really funny. I was like, oh, you guys? I remember searching High and Mighty and they came up once and I was like, oh, all right,

whatever this is. And then – I'll go ahead and torpedo these losers. I'm also High and Mighty. And then I was like, holy shit. I fucking met the band. Well, the fucking High and Mighty Brass Band, if they have a bone to pick, it's with the song B-Boy Document 99 from Soundbombing 2. Oh, Jesus.

Come on, guys. Let's get serious. If you're already – there's already a High and Mighty. Right. But yes, to answer your question, yes, it's named after the 90s. Excellent. That's a long way to go just to explain that. Thank you, John. And thank you to all of our listeners who've already called in to violate their nondisclosure agreements.

206-984-4FUN is the telephone number. We'll talk to you next week on Jordan, Jesse, Go. MaximumFun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.