Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 490: Teetsio Charm with Kliph Nesteroff

Episode Date: July 24, 2017

Writer and host Kliph Nesteroff joins Jordan and Jesse as they take a break from their usual deep dive on philosophy to just have a fun chat.  They get into Kliph's interview with Michael Winslow, the bizarre world of Christian comedy, and Jordan delights everyone with the story of Teetsio, the world's smallest DJ.  Action Items: • Break your NDA!  Call us at 206-984-4FUN and spill those legally bound secrets! • Get your "it me, i'm that" shirts!  On sale for a limited time: bit.ly/itmeimthat • Get tickets for The Max Fun Beer Blast at Angel City Brewery in Downtown LA on August 12th!

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Every week on Jordan Jesse Goh, we take an hour or so to look at the big questions. Questions of faith, morality, philosophy, and more. Serious interrogations of serious ideas. Hey, philosophy, and more. Serious interrogations of serious ideas.

Hey, Jesse. Hold on. Yeah. God, I am sorry to be this guy. No, it's not a problem. Because you know there's no one I hate more than this guy. Right. I mean, I was going to get straight into this stuff about how many- Like, I have a picture of this guy on a dartboard, and I don't just hurl darts.

I hurl knives. Really? And in that way where you hold the blade- a dartboard. And I don't just hurl darts. I hurl knives. Really? And in that way where you hold the blade and huck it. So like a serious knife thrower, not like a casual weekend knife thrower. Yeah, a real knife dude. Right. That's how much I hate this guy. Right.

But I'm going to be this guy right now. I'd hate for you to be this guy, but I'm going to give you the opportunity. So as much as I hate this guy. now. I'd hate for you to be this guy, but I'm going to give you the opportunity. So as much as I hate this guy, you know what, or this woman, or this person, because Lord knows there's assholes of both genders,

and there's even assholes who don't subscribe to either gender. Right. To be this person. Right. My faith has been shaken recently. Uh-huh. So instead of going deep on issues of faith and morality.

Right. Which is what I was going to do this week. Until I. As we do every week. As we do every week. As people know, that's what this show is about. Right. And that's why you've tuned in.

Right. Can we just fuck around a little bit until I get my moral bearings? How much, how long are you thinking? An hour, an hour and a quarter? For the fuck around, or how long until I get my moral bearings back? Well, for the fuck around, and then you can let me know how long

until you get your moral bearings back. Yeah, I think the fuck around should be between 60 and 80 minutes. Right. Depending on if we have ads or not. Right. And yeah, the search for purpose could lead me up until Death's Door.

Okay. Great. Yeah, no, I'm on board for that. Thank you. Thank you so much. Oh, boy. Should we have, like, a guest on to help us fuck around? No, that would be really, really cool because, yeah, I mean, as you know, most of, you know, what I do is, you know, dive into texts, sacred texts, ancient texts.

I mean, we had this whole Sir Francis Bacon thing planned for this week. Oh, boy. Yeah, and that's great. And we can hold it. Yeah. Let's hold it. Okay. It's what we call evergreen.

Right. The business. Right. Well, I think of it as particularly timely. I think some of the ideas that he was thinking about are particularly useful in our moment. But in the sense that most of them were considered five or so hundred years ago then i think i mean what's a couple more like a week or two would be yeah yeah um yeah so i think a guest would be great just so you know to give us something to bounce off of that would be really

neat i don't know if you have anybody in mind maybe the guy who's sitting here well i i there's a guy sitting here so we might as well sort of check out what his deal is. His name is Cliff Nesteroff. He is the author of the book The Comedians, which is a comprehensive history of stand-up comedy in America in the 20th century. He is also the host of a brand-new television show on Viceland, or a series of specials, technically, a collection of specials. I mean, we could just see what he has to say about stuff. And I could shelve this.

Oh, I hate to shelve this, Francis. I got to tell you, you're kind of being that guy right now. And you know how much I hate that guy. I have so much Francis Bacon material. You know how much I hate that guy. But I'm being him. I'm playing my that guy card. Okay. This guy.

Excuse me. Cliff Nesteroff. Hi, Cliff. Hey, boys. How are you? Well, thank you. Can you help me find purpose? My morality has been shaken to its core.

Yeah, sure. I can hook you up. Thanks, man. Great. It's either a sense of purpose or some lewds. I don't know if you have either of those. Well, no, it's not lewds. I was thinking psychedelics.

Yeah. Oh, that might. Which go hand in hand with a sense of purpose if applied correctly. It's either salvia or stevia. One of those two is the one where you get a sense of purpose. I think stevia goes hand in hand. It's a sugar substitute, right? It goes hand in hand with that guy.

Yeah, that's true. That guy. Excuse me. Can I get some stevia? I'm sorry. I don't. Can I have some stevia, please? Yeah, what the hell?

A little salvia. Mix that in with your morning joe. Man, wouldn't you like to open the newspaper one day and the big news is that someone accidentally put some salvia in the stevia? I mean, that would be kind of amazing. People enjoying lattes across this great nation are instead staring down the barrel of their own insignificance over what seems like hours to them but turns out to be only about 20 or 60 seconds in the real world. What is that ailment where you mix up letters? You're talking about – you mean like when you read things backwards and frontwards? Yeah.

That thing that everyone is yelling at the – come on, help us out, Cliff Nesteroff. Help us out. It's a common thing. You know what we're talking about. Being dyslexic. Dyslexia. Being dyslexic. I thought that that answer was too obvious.

So I thought you're definitely not talking about dyslexia. You're talking about something that I don't know about. Honestly, Cliff, yes, you're right. That is too common a word for me not to know. You're at that perfectly reasonable, Cliff. I thought I was being tricked into sounding stupid. So I did not say dyslexia out of fear that I would sound stupid. But I will ask you, Cliff.

A lame-o says what? A lame-o says what? You know, I did my audio book and there's reviews on the internet. You know, when you do something, people comment. Oh, interesting. I'll have to check those out. I bet those are cool. On Audible, there's a comment that says great book but he pronounces

everything wrong and i was like oh fuck what words am i pronouncing i'm sure he's correct yeah because i don't know how to say did you do any follow-up no god no i just stopped reading comments forever yeah the the the pronunciation slash grammar people are some of the worst commenters. I mean, I think – But isn't pronunciation like regional? Like why would you judge or gauge somebody's pronunciation as incorrect if you understood what they were communicating? I love that you're saying pronunciation. Why, is that wrong?

It sounds fine to me. I'm going to be quiet. No. Our friend Helen Zaltzman, who's been a guest on this show a number of times, hosts a podcast about words and etymology. I sincerely... I'm dyslexic, so I thought it was words and etymology. I know that's not what dyslexia is. I sincerely can't imagine. I would rather be like work at a garbage dump as a dump. Not as like a human dump.

Just a receptacle for garbage. I would rather be a garbage receptacle. There are some fetishists who would pay good money for that. Yeah, well, I mean, that's why I mentioned it. I saw this on gigs on Craigslist. Okay. But, like, I cannot imagine a worse job in the world than hosting a podcast about words and grammar

because there is sincerely no online comment worse than a words and grammar online. Does that qualify as a job? Is that her job? Oh, she earns human money for it. How much? Thousands.

I don't believe it. Various pounds. Yeah. I would imagine. Yeah. Those pounds are worth one and a quarter dollars. I think your friend's a liar. Oh, well, that's also possible.

This whole thing could have been a snowball job. Could be. So, Cliff, as a – so you – OK. So you have – you've been doing a lot of projects where you dive into comedy. Yeah. What sorts of nerds do you hear from? The biggest nerd that I hear from, and I'm going to hear from them this Sunday because there's another TV show I'm involved with on CNN called The History of Comedy. The biggest nerd I hear from, and they are correct, but I still don't want to hear from them, are people who say, you know, Woody Allen didn't write for your show of shows.

Everybody says that. He never wrote for Sid Caesar. But he says that he never wrote for Sid Caesar. And with deep comedy nerds, especially guys who have been to every Comic-Con since 1972, they are the ones that I frequently hear from. So that frequently happens. Even in my book, there was a caption in the photo. I wasn't the one to do the initial captions on the photo that said that. I had a photo of Woody Allen with Larry Gelbart and said, your show of shows. I said, you've got to change that so I don't get hate from middle-aged men or older men now.

I like that your show of shows fans are like the real serious nasty assholes. Sure. Like everybody hates your show of show fans. Even fans of Caesar's Hour. Yeah. No, the worst nerds are the original nerds, the pre-internet nerds, the nerds that were nerds before nerds were nerds. Yeah, there is a male

correspondence nerds. Yeah, yeah, exactly. These are fellas that... We communicate in the letters section of comic books. Yes. Like our communication... Bang on, you nailed it. Exactly. And they're not superhero comic books. No, no, yeah. This is about And they're not superhero comic books. No, no.

Yeah. Yeah. This is about – Men's romance comic books or something. So, Cliff, you – for this special advice, you have done – the press release mentioned a couple of different things that I'm curious about. Oh, what did it say? I didn't read it. Well, you don't write your own press releases. No.

Come on. I remember when a man would write your own press releases. No. Come on. I remember when a man would write his own press releases. Don't you? Sorry. Sorry to get on my high horse. No, no. As long as I'm being this guy. Which guy?

The guy who complains that people don't write their own press releases? Right. This guy. Oh, that guy. Yeah. This guy. I remember when you'd get down and dirty. Use your hands.

Sorry. I like to touch a press release. I like a physical press release. I remember when you'd get down and dirty. Use your hands. Sorry, I like to touch a press release. I like a physical press release. I'm so tired of people being on their phones. Making notes in the margins. Why are they always sending notes on their phones? Write your own press release. What'd it say? What'd it say?

What'd it say? So it mentioned that not only do you talk to police academy sound effects man Michael Winslow, but also you dive into the world of Christian-only comedy. Christian stand-up comedy, yeah. Not to be confused with comedians who may be a Christian in their private life. Sure, but comedy for a Christian audience. Or even comics who might do a little material mentioning their faith. Like a Jim Gaffigan will talk about being Catholic, but he is not doing Catholic comedy. But that's how he started.

Really? Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. A lot of transubstantiation humor. I mean, he did both. Like a lot of Christian comedians, and we talk about this in the series, do both. They'll do secular crowds and Christian crowds. Gaffigan did both.

And I remember- I guess you just switch Body of Christ for Hot Pocket. That's it. That's a pretty easy one. He recorded, I think it was like a CD-R before he was famous. Somebody gave me, when I was doing stand-up, a stack of burned discs that comedians would sell at their shows, but you couldn't get online or anything. And Gaffigan's first CD, I tried to find it for this series, couldn't find it. It's from the 90s.

It was all about being a Christian. It was all about the Bible. And I think it had one routine in it that became non – that was non-religious and it was about the manatee. But everything else was Christian-related. It turned out on that CD-R, he accidentally found a million-dollar bill. Yeah. That manatee routine. But, yeah, we profile comedians that do like a church circuit who perform.

Well, we profile the two levels of Christian comedy, those who make a great living. We followed a woman named Shonda Pierce, who I was not familiar with before, but she has her own tour bus and sells out theaters and has a documentary that played in 600 theaters across America about her life and her career. And then we profiled the low-level guys who were doing like a church circuit where there's like 20 people in the audience. They get stiffed on pay, and then they drive to the next gig. Wait, the church stiffs them? Wait, the church stiffs them? Well, in the episode that we have, we profile this guy, Leland Clausen, who I don't want to say he was blindsided by this sort of promoter. But he said, we're going to sell a lot of tickets. So it's up to you.

Do you want your fee or do you want to go in on a percentage deal? Because we're going to sell a lot of tickets. So he went in on the percentage deal and they did not sell a lot of tickets and they he went in on the percentage deal, and they did not sell a lot of tickets, and they gave away most of the tickets on a Christian radio station, and so he made nothing. He lost a lot of money on this tour. Wow. What was the promoter's name? I forget, but the name of the company.

Judas. The name of the company was— How much did those tickets cost, Jesse? 40 pieces? I think you'll appreciate the name of the company. It was Extreme Faith. Oh, boy. Now, EX or X-Stream?

I didn't really study the poster. I think it was just spelled regularly. It's an important distinction. You're going to be a journalist. Everybody was wearing a helmet, knee pads, and elbow pads for some reason. Oh, good. Yeah. A lot of rollerblades.

They all had their teen Bibles. Yeah. A lot of rollerblades. They all have their teen Bibles. Yeah. Yeah. So I grew up in Orange County, and there is a big extreme Christian – Clansman? Yeah. A lot of like chill clansmen. Like that kind of like, hey, we're cool Christians kind of scene was very big there growing up. I think probably still is. Right.

Orange County is the home of a couple of the biggest big megachurches. Yeah, yeah, where your pastors will come out in a Hawaiian shirt. You get a handsome tattoo sleeve guy who will play a song that you can't really tell is a Christian song until a minute into it. Right. And I had this really, really vivid memory this week. Like one of those like, oh, my God, this happened. I was thinking about, you know, how when something becomes popular, there is the slightly worse Christian version of it for the kids.

And there was like those bands were like huge, you know, in my area. There was a lot of like finding the popular thing at the time. They all sort of sounded like a Christian no FX, right? Yeah, exactly. That was the sound. Exactly, yeah. Or, you know, like a Christian tool was very popular. Yeah, there was a lot of like, or a Christian, even, I mean, I feel like I even went to see

some Christian Slayers. One of them was called Living Sacrifice, which I still think is a very good name for a Christian Slayer. Interesting, the front man of that band, Christian Slater. That was a little too on the nose. I will give those Christian subcultures this. They were great at naming things with an appropriate pun. If you went into any Christian bookstore in the 90s,

at the checkout, you'd find Testaments, which were breast- Oh, yeah, I saw Testaments recently at something. Yeah. Yeah. They're still out there. I like to go to Christian books. So, I mean, it's kind of hard not to appreciate whoever came up with Testaments.

And I remember being at one of these things in high school, and it was around the time that like rap rock was breaking. And, you know, of course, there was the the Christian version of that. And I don't remember who the band was. I can probably pretty safely say it was mostly white guys with maybe a Latino guy or an Asian guy in there. For some reason, the chorus of one of these songs popped into my head, and I've been kind of like, not exactly hate humming it all week, but like, you know, like chewing on a cold sore feels kind of good? Yeah. I've been, in my head has been this chorus. Let me hear you say gratitude.

Let me hear you say gratitude. And then the audience would say it. How could they not say it? Yeah. It's so catchy. I don't know. And it popped into my head. I'm like, oh, remember that?

But now I'm kind of like, now it's kind of a soothing mantra. I have always had an interest in these Christian subcultures where they try and do their Christian version of, like you said, amazing thing. One of my favorite movies, period, for camp value is The Cross and the Switchblade. Have you ever seen it? I've never seen The Cross and the Switchblade. 1971, it stars Pat Boone and the film debut. Really at the peak of his power. Yeah, yeah.

And the film debut of Eric Estrada. Wow. Who had maybe only been on chips up to this point. Is that where? No, no, no. This is pre-chips. Like 10 years before chips. Oh my gosh. And his first two movies were christian i don't know when chips christian action movies really movies yeah but this one they didn't invent chips until the 80s yeah it was all

fries oh wow even at a deli you got fries i had no idea crossing the switchblade has a great soundtrack composed by this guy ralph carmichael who had previously done the soundtrack to the blob steve mcqueen and a movie called 4d man which was made by american international pictures and the soundtrack to the cross the switchblade is like something that could be heavily sampled in hip-hop the drum beats there's a famous scene in the movie where there's a race riot the movie's about this preacher david Wilkerson, who... Played by Pat Boone? Played by Pat Boone, who brokers a piece between black gangs and Latino

gangs in East Harlem, and Eric Estrada is the leader of the Latino gang. But there's a big race riot in the park where everybody's beating the shit out of each other with pipes, and this music is playing like it's a blaxploitation-type soundtrack. And that whole movie is one of the most violent movies of its era.

And then it ends with when it says the end. He gets converted to Christianity. And then at the end, I can't remember if it either says the end, question mark, or if it says the beginning. One or the other. One or the other. Oh, wow. Both are good.

Yeah. Both are good. The one guy who always intrigued me, and we talk about this in a bonus clip that they put online for Viceland, is a guy named Mike Warnke, who in the 1970s was the Christian comedian. He had best-selling comedy records that sold into the millions. You can find his records in almost any Salvation Army or Goodwill to this day. And like a lot of these Christian-based comedians, they do an act, but they also have a sermon. Usually they have an intermission,

so they don't have to close on the sermon, but they lead into the intermission with their sermon. And Mike Warnke would do material. He would do jokes. He was a Jesus hippie guy, long hair and a big mustache and sort of talked a little bit like Tommy Chong. And he did this sermon where he talked about how he used to be a Satanist. He used to sacrifice goats and cats, drink human blood, eat human fingers.

And then in the 80s, after 10 years of him selling out concert halls and churches, these two Christian journalists were doing a profile on Mike Warnke and dove into his background, found out that he was lying, that he had never sacrificed a cat or a goat or drank human blood. How do you prove that? How do you prove that? But because it was exposed that he had never sacrificed a cat or a goat or drank human blood, he was ostracized from the Christian community.

Bearing false witness. So I say in the clip, if you're a budding young Christian comic, make sure you do sacrifice the goat. Yeah. That's amazing. I guess if you're playing a long game where the end goal is success in Christian comedy, just sacrifice that goat. Do a couple of years of debauchery. Blow prostitutes, you know, some other – arson. Maybe do a little arson.

That guy's career never recovered, but he was a giant. He was the only Christian stand-up comedian. And talking to these guys who were much younger doing the circuit, they all know who Mike Warnke is. They all know the story that happened. Their parents had the records, you know. Sure. And he's asked for forgiveness, but he never recovered. But he was very wealthy, very wealthy, like Jimmy Swagger wealth.

Sure, sure. You know, multiple homes kind of thing, you know. So let's talk Winslow. Yeah, Michael Winslow. Jordan and I booked Michael Winslow on our old college radio show. Where was this? Here? Santa Cruz.

Okay. Where college radio means something. He's on the show. Not in L.A. where they're like, oh, I need points on the back end. Nobody's talking about college radio, but up there it meant something. Jordan, you're kind of being that guy right now. Sorry. I hate it when you're that guy.

Sorry. And he didn't, we missed him. We lost him. Yeah. I know he didn't call. He was supposed to call and he didn't call. Something like that. We have a pretty prestigious, when we look at our cancellations on our college radio

show, it's pretty prestigious. And I mean, I think anyone who canceled on our college radio show really just saw through our smoke screen. They did it early enough that they could get to the point where they don't call. What year was this that he canceled? This would be the early 2000s, like maybe 2001. September 11th, 2001. How dare he?

It was. Yeah. How dare he? He was. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people don't know that Michael Winslow was a first responder on 9-11. Oh, boy. They ran out of real police officers.

Sure. They had to bring in the folks from the academy. And he can really mimic the sound of a control bus. Yes. So you never got to talk to him at all? No, we never actually got to talk to him. And then later on, our show started interviewing people. I don't want to say on merit, but...

Yeah, I mean, you know, I think... It was something that we took a flyer on. He was going to be appearing in Santa Cruz or San Jose or something. Right. And we thought, well, yeah, I guess we'd like to talk to Michael Winslow, see what kind of guy he is. It worked out really well. I don't know if it sounds – We talked to Screech from Saved by the Bell for that reason.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, you were saying that we had a while where it's like maybe we should talk to like weirdos who people would be like ironically into. Yeah. And then we sort of abandoned that after the Screech incident and a few. And so for anyone who hasn't been a longtime Jordan Jesse Go listener, when we interviewed Screech, it was horrible. It was one of the worst 30 minutes of our lives. He did jokes from his act that included racist street jokes. Yeah, and jokes about people in wheelchairs.

Street jokes about people in wheelchairs. Yeah, I mean, that's who Dustin Diamond is. As it turns out. We didn't know. This was before everyone knew. This was before he had stabbed and so on. Right. This was before he got cast and saved by the bell.

Right. he had like stabbed and right this was before he got cast and saved by the bell right we we heard this hot young kid who has had a great audition for a high school show that might turn into something so anyway michael winslow is a real guy in the real world that you've met so i want to know what kind of guy he is i loved him i love it i loved him so he is uh you know did he talk about like feeling bad about canceling or what he was doing or if it was like a publicist thing or they put it in his calendar well he didn't talk about it but he sounded it out yeah right okay yeah what's the sound that yeah got it um but he uh he's a guy who, when I was a child, with Police Academy movies I loved because of Police Academy movies. When you grow into an adult –

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Is that the music? Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Okay, now do Citizens on Patrol. Do the Citizens on Patrol rap. Oh, I can't. Oh, God, I wish I could. Citizens on Patrol.

I don't know the words. That's pretty good. That's about it. Let me hear you say gratitude. I, God, I wish I could. Citizens on patrol. I don't know the words. That's pretty good. That's about it. Let me hear you say gratitude. I think that's where that comes from. I can do whoomp, there it is, if you guys need me to. How much of whoomp? The whole thing?

At least the first verse, because it was the song in the aerobics class that I took in middle school. Okay, hold on. I don't think we want to hear the whole thing, but I'm going to time you. I want to see the aerobics moves with it, though. Oh, yeah. You have to do that. So you're going to do 15 seconds of whoomp. There it is.

Tag team. Hold on. I didn't say start yet. You can do a little aerobics, too. We'll describe it afterwards. Okay. Ready, set, go. Tag team back again.

Check it, direct it. Let's begin. Party on, party people. Let me hear some noise. T.T.'s in the house. Let me jump for joy. Party over here. Party over there. Wave your hands in the air. Shake it down. Check it. Direct it. Let's begin. Party on. Party people, let me hear some noise. TT's in the house. Let me jump for joy. Party over here. Party over there.

Wave your hands in the air. Shake your derriere. And stop. Oh, stopped on derriere. That's good. Yeah. It was great. Wow, I didn't realize they used to.

I didn't even get to taking it back to the old school because I'm an old fool. Who's so cool? Sorry, your 15 seconds are up. You're doing this. I don't know. Judges discount that last few seconds. It's like Andy Warhol said. In the future, everyone will have 15 seconds of tag teams.

Womp, there it is. I didn't recall any French in that song, but there is. How about that? My memory is... So you went to his house... You had the Canadian single, right? Yeah. So they had to do some of it in French.

It was CanCon thing. Was that a Canadian song? No. Was that a Canadian song? No. So they did used to play it whenever somebody hit a home run at the Toronto Blue Jays. If Joe Carter hit a home run, whoomp, there it is, was immediately being played as they rounded the bases. So for a second there, you had me thinking it was Canton.

Got it. So you went to Florida to meet Michael Winslow. Michael Winslow is a guy who, when I was a child, I loved. And in comedy, when you're a comedy fan, there's certain people, when you grow up as a comedy fan and now are an adult, you're no longer allowed to like. And you're not allowed to like Michael Winslow. You're obviously not allowed to like Carrot Top.

There's certain people that have a stigma associated with him that becomes... I've seen The Top live recently. That's a show. I don't know what that is. It's Carrot Top. I call him The Top. He calls him The Top. I've seen The Top live recently. That's a show. I don't know what that is. It's Carrot Top. I call him The Top. He calls him The Top. I've seen him in Vegas recently.

Oh, you've seen The Top live. I thought it was a show, The Top live. I've seen The Top live. It comes out after The View. It's called The Top. With Alexa Chung. Yeah. That's what it sounds like.

I'm just changing the subject randomly. But there's people that- Right, sure. Ernest. I'm just changing the subject randomly. But there's people that... Right, sure. Ernest. I loved Ernest. Yeah, I have no idea what Ernest is, but I certainly couldn't watch it and blow all my credibility. Jim Varney, at the Comedy Store in the late 70s, Jim Varney was considered one of the

best acts. He had 10 different characters that he did. They killed. The Ernest one was one of those 10. But there's certain people you're not supposed to like and it's weird because we call a carrot top a hack or whatever but it's a hack joke to make fun of carrot top you know that's more hack than carrot top sure and head carrot talk is terror top is in part hack only because he has defined his own set of hacknesses

that other people have run into the ground. I mean, he is the definitional Carrot Top type comedian. But there's far worse comedians out there than Carrot Top. There's racist comedians out there. I saw a guy who was a prison guard comedian one time. Oh, I literally had to leave. It's the only time I've ever left a comedy show. It was a San Jose improv.

Wow. Oh, it was brutal. You've only left a comedy show. It was a San Jose Improv. Wow. Oh, it was brutal. You've only left a comedy show once? You're like left a show, yeah. I've walked out of at least 100 stand-up shows. Wow. But it's not so much indignancy as, okay, I got to. Yeah.

Yeah, I guess there's two kinds of walkouts. There's this offends me in some way or I feel like my soul is evaporating a little bit from watching this. And then there's this comedy show is too long, which is the most comedy show. I mean, there's like I got to put some change in the meter. Sure. Yeah. But Michael Winslow, this was the premise of the episode. Comedians on their way up and comedians on their way down.

So we profiled like a young, budding amateur who was going to showcase for the first time for a late night show and was auditioning for a thing and had a lot going for her and was really excited. And then, this is true, we profiled Michael Winslow because Sinbad said no. Oh, wow. So he went to Orlando. But the first question was,

why is Michael Winslow living in Orlando instead of New York or Los Angeles? To be clear, it seems like Sinbad's doing fine, isn't he? So he went to Orlando. But the first question was, why is Michael Winslow living in Orlando instead of New York or Los Angeles? To be clear, it seems like Sinbad's doing fine, isn't he? Yeah, he's on the rebound. He's on the rebound. Yeah. Sinbad's a lot of fun.

But Sinbad's another guy that's not cool to like. I have also met Sinbad recently. Guess who's funny as shit? Sinbad's funny as shit. Oh, that was my first guess. Yeah, yeah. I couldn't get it out. I had it on the tip of my tongue.

He's another person that it's like you're not allowed to say out loud that you love him. I've met Sinbad recently. You know who's funny as shit? Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. Bazinga! Anyway. I used to see Sinbad on Arsenio Hall. I thought he was hysterical.

I used to see Sinbad on Letterman. I thought he was hysterical. And Norm MacDonald tells a great story about Sinbad. When Norm was doing his first Just for Laughs, he was very, very nervous about doing it. And he was hanging out with Sinbad during the day. And they were going into like some store in Montreal. And there was no cashier. And then that night, Norm goes up, does his gala.

Sinbad goes on stage. He goes, what's up with Montreal having no cashiers? And just starts destroying, riffing off the top of his head. And he was like, this is superhuman. But he is that guy just full confidence yeah in his comedy it is like it you know it's it's it's weird to go back and watch some of that stuff that like 80s stuff that like stand-up boom stuff because like you know like there was so much of it and i think that you know a lot of the stuff that really

played well then just got run into the ground so So it is hard to like see the material. It's fresh. We're also distracted by the fashion and the way it is shot. Yeah. The brick wall that they're in front of. A saxophone theme song. There's so many things going against it. The talk show footage holds up the best.

If you go back and watch those comedians on panel, that actually holds up way better than their stand up for whatever reason. comedians on panel, that actually holds up way better than their stand-up for whatever reason. But Simbad, obviously the jokes that he was doing became joke premises that got run into the ground a little bit. But you watch Simbad and you're like, fuck, this guy is great at stand-up comedy. He was a supernova. There's strength of material and then there's being great at stand-up comedy. And he's probably friends with the entire Gap Band. Sure, yeah. There's strength of material and then there's being great at stand-up comedy.

And he's probably friends with the entire Gap Band. Sure, yeah. Well, I'll tell you about Michael Winslow. It was, no matter how much of a snob you are, and I didn't approach it with snobbery, just open mind or whatever. And I did love him as a child. So there's part of me that is like, this is kind of cool for me to think that when I was four, one of the first comedy movies I ever saw, probably one of the first things that ever really made me laugh was this guy. And now we're doing a thing. So it is impossible to stand next to Michael Winslow when he's doing all those sound effects and noises with his mouth and not be impressed by his ability to do so. Yeah.

You can watch it on TV and say, oh, this is stupid or this is corny or this is a gimmick, but there's nobody else that really does that. And so we were in a studio with him where he was improvising with a soundboard and an audio engineer who was mixing and piping it in and distorting things with pedals and stuff, and it was fucking cool. And then I heard him say one thing. I had done a little bit of research,

and this gave me a new level of respect and should give everybody a new level of respect. He was booked at the San Francisco Sketch Fest, Michael Winslow, and there he met Reggie Watts who told him, I do what I do because of you, Michael Winslow. Winslow. And I thought, huh, we think of Michael Winslow as a square act and we think of Reggie Watts as a hip act. And here is one completely influenced by the other. And now Michael Winslow is doing things with pedals and soundboards because he feels inspired by Reggie Watts. So I was really impressed

by that. It is a genuinely amazing thing to see. I mean, like, I feel like I went to a lot of Roots shows when I was in high school and college. And it was at the first... Originally, they were touring with Razel, the godfather of noise, with the Z.

Then they were touring with a guy called Scratch, both of whom were, like, beatbox slash noisemakers. And, like, Razel came out with an album. Like, he left the Roots to pursue a solo career, and he came out with an album. You listen to the album, a solo career and he came out with an album you listen to the album you're like oh i guess he's not really good at making music at all like he can't really like but to see him do the thing like to see him like make a beat and then make

sounds from a record you know and like all these things to see that in front of you is fucking mind yeah it is and there's a it's so brief i wish it was longer but in the episode right at the end credits they play music over the end credits and if you didn't know if i didn't tell you it's all michael winslow we were in the studio with this uh dj i forget his name but they were uh laying down different beats and different sounds each one one Michael Winslow, isolated. Was the DJ Deadmau5? No, it was a guy named Tiesto. I think it's Tiesto. Is it Tiesto?

It was a well-known guy from Argentina, actually. I just don't remember the name. Okay. If I talked about the DJ Jazzy Jeff, have I talked about us right? It was. It was DJ Jazzy Jeff. Cool. And the song is about how parents sometimes don't understand? No, it was called The Girly Has a Mustache. Okay.

I would love it if Jazzy Jeff, by the way, immensely respected producer, et cetera. I'm not making fun of Jazzy Jeff here, but if Jazzy Jeff and Michael Winslow just went on tour as DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, like sort of like replacing the lead singer in The Persuasions or something. Yeah. Like you don't like in the ads, you don't, that doesn't show them. Yeah. It just says DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince. And when you go out, no Will Smith and just see how long before people.

Well, Michael Winslow does tour now. He doesn't really do comedy festivals. He does electronic music festivals. Really? And he's highly respected. So when we met with him, he was preparing for Moogfest in North Carolina, I think, Moogfest.

And so it was really interesting. And then when we heard this played back where they laid everything over it with a beat and with a bass track and then with different sounds, there was like 14 things on a soundboard going at once. I wanted it on my iPod. It was like this amazing, beautiful song.

So do teens pop Molly and roll to Michael Winslow? Yeah. That studio, I would say yes, in that studio that we were at. But is Moog Fest, is that like a, like I know somebody that works with Just Blaze, the hip hop producer Just Blaze. And like Just Blaze was a huge, like maybe the biggest producer in hip hop, maybe along with Kanye in the late 90s, early 2000s. And I'm like, what does Just Blaze do? Because you don't hear Just Blaze beats, like even on like unsuccessful records. just plays beats like even on like unsuccessful records like and he's like oh yeah he just goes out twice a month and does an edm festival as a dj slash edm guy and gets paid 50 or 100 000

will william morris has a whole division just for electronic music djs so is is michael winslow playing the rolling on molly edm fest or is he playing his Moog Fest like a bunch of dudes with Moogs? No, it's called Moog Fest because it just does a salute to the inception of electronic music. But he does different electronic music festivals all over the world where he improvises on stage with a bunch of different DJs, pedals and patch cords and whatever. I haven't seen it. But watching him in the studio, it was with all young kids. And his son is involved. His son is like a producer.

And so this was like his next level. And when I interviewed him, I was like, so Bobcat did those Police Academy movies. He's sort of embarrassed about them. What is your perspective? And we thought going in that the girl who had all this stuff going for her. When you say bobcat you're talking about bobcat jazzy jeff uh yes okay yeah uh the young girl fresh prince dennis miller yeah the young girl who is who was uh budding in uh her stand-up career we thought

that would be the a story or the happy story and then mike michael winslow in the year 2017 would be the sad story turns out it was exactly the opposite this young girl was so ashen every time she was rejected she was so unhappy about her state things weren't coming to her career fast enough michael winslow was the most mellow zhang guy he goes no that those police academy movies gave me a career i could buy a house i could what I want. And right now I'm having so much fun sort of not doing comedy clubs, but doing these festivals, traveling the world. And so I was kind of very impressed by his attitude, you know, like he didn't. And we even talked about that. Like, do you feel that you are disrespected by people in comedy? Do people kind of look down at you?

He goes, yeah, sure. But that happened since the first day I ever went up at the comedy store. Like, who the fuck is this guy doing fucking sound effects instead of jokes? He goes, I've had to deal with that with my whole life.

It doesn't matter. So I found him to be a very, uh, compelling, uh, person. And I really, I could not not be impressed by what he was doing in front of my face.

You know, you guys ever text each other? Every day, but it's just beep, boop, bop. It's fanatic. Yeah, it's a beep, boop, bop, wop, wop, wop, wop, wop, wop. On the subject of celebrity DJs and Roland, I was at a wedding a few months ago. Do you feel like that's all my story? I was at a wedding a few months ago. But you feel like that's all my story. I was at a wedding a few months ago.

That is a solid 70% of the stuff I talk about on this show. You've been married 19 times. I have, yeah. It just never works out. Yeah. They try and tie me down. When you're the most beautiful woman in the world, it takes a lot to keep you locked up. Sure, yeah.

I'm sorry. I'm thinking of Elizabeth Taylor. Okay. After David Bowie died. Right. I'm Iman. Yeah, got it. So this is like, so it was a wedding in Vegas, and this is like, this is post-ceremony, I'm still with people and we're drinking.

Right. And we see a billboard for Tiesto, and someone says, that looks like, oh, I read it as Tizio. And then it led into a bit where we were being Tizio, the world's tiniest DJ. Yeah. Sounds fun so far. And he was saying things like, oh, let me, I'll ride to the show in your pocket. Whee! You know, like, and I have tried and we, and it's like the hardest I've laughed in recent memory.

Yeah. You could sell that in a heartbeat. From this Tizio bit. You could just sell that as a cartoon. You just need one meeting with Rob Schneider. Yeah. I'll tell him there's also an offensive Asian character you could do in this movie. You wear a rice patty hat.

And I have announced – so there are a lot of Tiesto billboards in LA and every time I drive by one with someone I try and recreate this Tizio bit Tizio the world's smallest DJ

it fucking dies every time and I don't know what happened I don't know how to like get that back I feel like I'm

chasing this high I want to laugh at Tizio again yeah the world's smallest DJ. I mean, when you're driving around Los Angeles and you see those billboards, are you drunk after a wedding at all? Yeah. No, I should be.

That's the X factor. Are you high on the majesty of human love? Right. I guess I should be. Yeah, maybe that was it. Maybe it was just the residue of the, like, open bar. You know, love is real. Look at these two beautiful people sharing their lives together.

Oh, my God. Tiesto looks like Tizio. You know what I can suggest? Call your management and see if they can get you a guest week as a writer on SNL. Okay. And then pitch Tizio. Yeah. And see how it goes.

Oh, yeah. And then we'll know for sure. If Bobby Moynihan's still on the show, I think he'd be a good Tizio. He would yeah. And then we'll know for sure. Is Bobby Moynihan still on the show? I think he'd be a good Tizio. He would be. He would be a great Tizio. He's got that Tizio charm, that signature Tizio charm. Yeah.

And thank you. I feel like you guys kind of politely laughed at Tizio, but I honestly didn't feel like you were feeling it. How does Tizio talk again? It's me, Tizio. Whee! Does he have any little outfits he wears? Does he have a little hook?

I don't know. I don't really remember. Is it just that he's really little? He's tiny and he rides in your pocket. Got it. I don't know. I'm picturing an episode of The Littles, the cartoon. Oh, The Littles had little donkey ears, right?

Donkey ears and tails? Yeah. Maybe they were more like mice. It's me, Tizio. I've got little donkey ears i don't hate it i don't hate it i think what's gonna work is he a scratch and cut dj or just a mixed dj he's like a he's like an edm dj got it wait for that beat to drop oh there's not a lot of turntable is it would be hard for him to work the fader really at his size. Unless he, does he have tiny decks?

Oh, that would be cute. Maybe they could be little overturned acorns. Oh, yeah. Now, see, now it's funny. Yeah. That's why Cliff's laughing so hard. We're going to turn down your mic because you're laughing so hard and we feel like we don't want it to blow out people's earbuds. Yeah.

I think TCO is pretty good. Yeah, but maybe this is a lesson for me in nothing lasts forever. Can I ask you- Maybe it was just a moment that I should try and I can keep close to my heart, but I should stop trying to remember. I'll say that I've had the good fortune or the good misfortune to be in many, many interesting Hollywood meetings, and this sounds just like a real Hollywood meeting. So you got something is what I'm saying.

You got something. I don't mean to give you show business advice. No, please. I need it. Look, you're the professional comedy writer in this room. I'm just some asshole from NPR, okay? However, have you written it down on a postcard then mailed it to yourself? Oh, I should.

Shit. Somebody's out there stealing Tizio. Okay, if you're out there and you're thinking of writing Tizio, don't write Tizio. No, don't. Don't write it. If you're out there writing it, guy who directed Night at the Museum movies. Please don't write it. Yeah.

At least give me a story by credit. Yeah. I just want a story by credit. I had a meeting at Brett Ratner's production company two years ago right before my book came out. Oh, cocaine and company. Yeah. And I went in there and the guy behind the desk who was head of production. People just call it Coco.

Yeah. These guys were pitching. It was interesting. Coco, Coco. Anyway. They were pitching to me. I wasn't pitching to them. They're like, we could do this with your book, this with the – at one point, the guy – this guy in the meeting goes, guys, how about this?

How about this? We get old comedians, Jerry Lewis, Don Rickles. They're estranged from their families. And right at the end of every episode, we ambush them with a family therapist. Oh, boy. Jeez. And then he leaned back with his hands behind his head. I love the idea of ambushing.

And he went, I'd watch that show. I'd watch that show. That's why I said it out loud. Yeah. Because I wanted to watch it. Yeah. Things can't be good over there at that Brett Ratner production company. Sure.

You almost ruined X-Men. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The movie where Eddie Murphy steals that safe is pretty good. Oh, yeah? Yeah. You should probably watch that movie. Yeah, that's good.

And Ben Stiller in it too, right? Ben Stiller's in that. Ben Stiller always does a great job. Matthew Broderick. Matthew Broderick. Talk about pros. I mean, right? Matthew Broderick could sell water to a well.

Cabaret Sidibe. Oh, she's fantastic. She's a breath of fresh air in everything she's in. I love her on Difficult People. No X-Men, though. Oh, yeah. It's free of X-Men, so you're not getting a Nightcrawler. You're not getting a Cable. That's probably what I would have liked to see out of an Eddie Murphy heist movie. Yeah. Just a little Jean Grey.

Oh, Alan Alda's in it. God. He's an inhuman, though. He's not an X-Man. He's an inhuman. Would you say that Alan Alda's in it. God. He's an inhuman, though. Would you- He's not an X-Man. He's an inhuman. Would you say that Alan Alda- They have alien DNA and it mistransforms them. Sorry, go ahead.

Would you say that- Wait, he's in the X-Men movie? No, Alan Alda's an inhuman in this movie. It's like an X-Man. Oh, Alan Alda is an inhuman in- Legally dissimilar from the X-Men. In the office building heist movie. Yeah.

That Eddie Murphy was in. Yeah. So I guess it's in the Marvel Universe at large. Is he an X-Man on Scientific American Frontiers? Yes. Is that right? He's X-Man villain Mojo. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Got it. Thank God. He hosts as Mojo. Got it. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. La, la, la take all the interesting, fascinating experts that we talked to for just a couple of minutes on the show, and we sit with them for an entire podcast, really going deep and getting into the fascinating details of their work. Find Adam ruins everything wherever you get your podcasts or at MaximumFun.org. It's Jordan, Jesse Go.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Well, have we got a couple of big pieces of news for you. First of all, do not under any circumstances forget that August 12th we will be at Angel City Brewing live in Los Angeles

for the Max Fun Beer Bash. Beer bros, ba comedy, ba music, ba ladies, and ba ladies. Ba-ladies. And ba-ladies. Daniel Radford's going to be there. Riley Silverman, Open Mic Eagle, other special guests. Special guests from the MaxFun universe.

So if you're in Los Angeles, make sure to come to that. And don't forget, if you need a new Jordan Jesse Go teaser, we got you. Yeah. The It Me, I'm That. The It Me, I'm That. The It Me, I'm That. That's available right now at maxfundstore.com for a very limited time. Your time is about to run out. Yeah, don't sleep on this.

We are but sands in the hourglass of life. And they're drip, drip, dropping like so many water drops, I guess, through the hourglass. It's more of a mud glass than a sand glass. Sure. There's mud. There's water and sand. Yeah. more of a mud glass than a sand glass. Sure. Because there's mud, there's water, and sand. Yeah. Does it make mud or cement?

I think let's just clean it out every now and then and replace it with fresh sand. Right, exactly. Because otherwise the turtle's going to get sick. Yeah, I know. That turtle loves the shit in that hourglass. He's going to eat his own shit. We've got something up on the Jumbotron this week. It's from Megan from Melissa.

I hope you're having a good day at work. I'll try to get home a bit early today and maybe pick up some beer. I love you, and I'm excited to be married tomorrow. Maybe we could clip this out so you can play it after I die. Wow. She's probably going to die of happiness from that marriage, huh? Yeah, boy. I mean, if there's any day of your life

to keel over from pure joy, it's at that wedding, baby. Or to invent a new hit character. Who's that? Milizio? Tizio! The world's smallest DJ. Oh, that's right.

Milizio's the guy who taught the study hall at my high school. Yeah, you're confusing the study hall guy and the world's smallest DJ. Oh, that's right. Malizio is the guy who taught the study hall at my high school. Oh, yeah. You're confusing the study hall guy and the world's smallest DJ. To be fair, he also taught Filipino stick fighting. Oh, okay. Malizio was a pretty cool dude, actually, now that I think about it. He's a man of many talents.

Yeah. Study hall. Mm-hmm. Stick fighting. Something else. I feel like he had a cool ranchero, too. Man. Oh, boy. Malizio was pretty awesome. He was always carrying a cool ranchero, too. Man, oh boy.

Melizio was pretty awesome. He was always carrying around a saxophone, also. Oh boy. I wonder what he's doing right now. Maximumfun.org slash Jumbotron, or if you want to advertise on Jordan and Jesse, go email Teresa at Maximumfun.org. We'll be back in just a second. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, boy detective. Cliff Nesteroff, guest. Cliff, what a joy to have you here on the program. Thank you for joining us. Hey, my pleasure. Two weeks ago on the show, we had someone call in to, and in the course of relating a momentous occasion to us, revealed to us that they were also violating an NDA,

a non-disclosure agreement. Now, here on Jordan, Jesse, go. We have a bit of a bad boy vibe. Mm-hmm. I don't know if you've noticed that about us. I have not. I have not noticed this, no. Yeah.

We're kind of the bad boys of ethics and spirituality. Exactly. Normally when we talk about ethics and spirituality on the show, we're kind of... We sort of live raw and on the edge. Yeah, like Lemmy. Yeah, exactly. Just a couple of Lemmys. Yeah. Lemmy from,

what's that from Despicable Me 2? You're thinking of Gru. Got it. You're thinking of Gru, I'm thinking of Hawkwind. Got it. Okay, good. The surprising hippie band that Lemmy from Motorhead was in before he was in, yeah. That's the one. Yeah, so like we sort sort of you know

we like there a minion named lemmy is that what you were getting at no no i was just saying i was just i was just portraying a character who doesn't know who lemmy is he thinks maybe that's a guy oh okay about me too um that's a cute thing about i'm sorry that like you have regular guys yeah my b by b joke was trumped by your reference to Hogwarts. Sure. Lemmy's first band. Very influential in their own right. Very influential, sure.

A big deal in their own right. Great band. So, anyway, we like to sort of spit in the face of the man. One of the ways that we are doing this this week on the show is by inviting our listeners to call in and violate non-disclosure agreements. We have two listeners who are calling in to break the law, break a contract signed in their own blood, as all contracts are, or e-signed in their own blood. Let's take a listen. Hi, it's a listener calling from New York City to anonymously violate her NDA. I ghost wrote a picture book series in the voice of a real life popular Internet pig.

That's all. Who is the most popular Internet pig? And why was a NDA necessary? Yeah, like, well, I guess probably they want it to maintain the illusion that it is writing. Wait, was the popular Internet pig Wilbur from Charlotte's Web? It's really also it's great to hear hung up on the why the pig. Are you sure it was children's books and not spider webs? Right. I've heard that's some pig. Yeah.

Yeah, it is weird that you wouldn't want even just like, you know, from, you know, who is the most popular internet pig? That's blowing my mind that that even exists. I feel like I know all the internet shit. I feel like I know all the- If Christian Dwayne was here right now, he would be telling us who the most popular internet pig is. Let's just say the pig's name is Lemmy. Yeah.

You would think it would say, oh, you know, a day on the farm by Lemmy with help from his friend, Joyce Carol Oates. Or at the very least, they wouldn't be embargoed. Like Lemmy would be able to go to a party and say, I wrote that pig book. Like even if his name isn't on the cover, Lemmy from Hawkwind and Motorhead would be able to reveal that he wrote the book, right? Maybe the disclosure agreement came after the fact because the pig was so difficult to work with and you have to say you're not allowed to talk about what happened. Yeah, sure, sure. I get that. Right.

Or maybe our caller was behaving publicly in a way that reflected badly on the internet pig, and they had to sort of scrub their association from the records. Like she was drunk in public or stabbing. I'll tell you, I've ghostwritten three and a half times. I'll never do it again. Oh, boy. And it's always a nightmare. I don't know.

Now, you wrote the Grumpy Cat book, right? That's right. Yeah, and also the, what is it called, the Nan Cat. Yeah, sure, sure. Most of the cat meme books, yeah. And they're always – you end up covered in scratches after the fact. Fuck it. Yeah, I get it.

Not worth it. Such divas, huh? Yeah, no, it's brutal. I can't right now. I have to sleep in this sunbeam. I have to run to the other side of the house for no reason. But ghostwriting is truly a thankless job because you're dealing with a person who doesn't know how to write, telling you how to write, and it's their ego that you're trying to implement. So it's always just a guy yelling at you that you're making him sound like an idiot.

A guy or woman or pig. I would think the toughest part would be shuffling off this mortal coil. Sure. Becoming a ghost in the first place. All right. Leaving your body and then reentering your body maybe with the help of a crystal. Entering a ghost in the first place. All right. Leaving your body. And then reentering your body. Maybe with the help of a crystal. Entering the spectral plane.

Like even just operating the keyboard. Yeah. You'd have to really. No, no, no. I guess there's dictation software now. Exactly. It's just a voice memo. Got it.

It's just a voice memo. But I guess that's tough because. Chapter one. I guess it's tough because the voice memo, it picks up your speech, but also the rattling of your chains. So probably you have to go back and spell check it. It's a little confusing for Dragon naturally speaking. Yeah, that's tough. Okay, let's break another NDA.

Hey, Jordan. Hey, Jesse. Hey, guests. This is a listener calling from a place who is violating my NDA right now, as per your request a few minutes ago. So I debated calling you about this when it happened and would not have if you hadn't said specifically that you wanted some violations. I work for a place that does racial justice work.

And recently helped to get my boss fired for saying the N-word in public. Because a white lady in charge of a racial justice place, saying the N-word in public, is just so very Bill Maher. So fuck her and fuck Bill Maher. And great job, guys. Love your show. Get him, get him, get him. I'm sure I'm real late in the day with that one, but that's what I remember. All right.

Thanks. I need more context for what happened because maybe she was buying a Richard Pryor record what happened maybe she was trying to start a racial holy war yeah you know noble cause but you know what

that sounds good if that information is all sound that sounds like that probably should have happened. But again, why did he have to sign a NDA in this case? Because they don't want a scandal there? But who decides now you've got to sign a thing? Because it sounds like you had to sign a thing again after the fact, not before the fact. I feel like as a white person, I've signed an NDA where I can't say the N word. Sure.

It's just words. Yeah, it's just a word. It's just a word. Sorry, I don't want to be scared of language. I love language. I love words. English. How they roll off the tongue.

You're the original rapper. Yeah. When something, okay, so. I used to be that guy. Yeah. Do you have a momentous occasion for us, or you want to violate an NDA? The number is 206-984-4FUN. We've got a couple of momentous occasions lined up as well.

Let's take our first one. Hi, this is Shane from Omaha. It's a moment of shame. I was leaving the post office and went to get in my truck and accidentally got in a passenger side seat and had to play it off like I was waiting for someone to drive me away until everyone that saw me do this left. It was bad. Bye. Wait, hold on.

Can you explain to me what happened? I feel like I didn't catch it. It's his moment of shame. Okay. He went into the post. I parked his truck, went into the post office, came back out of the post office, and accidentally got in on the passenger

side, and then tried to play it off like he was waiting for somebody to drive his truck. That is really good. It's very good. That's my favorite moment of shame so far. What would lead you to get in on the wrong side? I don't know.

Maybe you like share the car. Maybe it's a shared car and sometimes his significant other drives. Maybe it was his chauffeur's day off. Going to be chauffeur's day off. I like the guy who has a pickup truck and also a chauffeur. No, that's a marijuana-induced incident. Yeah, that's fair. I mean, I do love to get blazed and go buy some fucking stamps.

You would think that if he has a chauffeur and a pickup truck, at least he would have a crew cab, right? Sure, yeah. He could just lay down in the back and let a soda can roll around and hit him in the head. That would be very fun. Here's our next call. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and and guest i'm just calling in with a momentous occasion it's pretty old but i'm a relatively new listener i got a call pretty recently for uh an understudy position in a in the play hamlet for my local theater group and i

took it and i went to a rehearsal that I was told by the director to go to, and it turned out to be an intervention for the cast member that I was to understudy for. I sat through the entire hour and 45-minute intervention alone in the auditorium as it took place on stage, and at the end, I was called out to light a fire under his ass. So thanks for listening. And I don't know how to take it to this day. Bye, guys. Thanks. Okay, this is great. First, just before we get into it, before we dig in, how about a hand for being a new listener, huh? Yeah. And people say this show doesn't have new listeners. It does.

This guy. Every few years. Who's involved in the theater. Every few years, a true artiste like this guy discovers Jordan, Jesse, Go, and latches on. He's going through his big brother's tapes. Exactly. You have Metallica, Ride the Lightning.

Yep. And then you have classic episodes of Jordan, Jesse, Go Ride the Lightning. Yeah. And then you have classic episodes of Jordan and Jesse Go issued on tape. Yeah. And the first season of Never Not Funny with Mike Schmidt. Yeah, yeah. Probably is in that tape collection. Is the tab ripped off of those tapes? Oh, absolutely.

So you can't copy over them. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You know what we're talking about. God, it would be horrible if you gave that tape to your little brother and he recorded right over Mike Schmidt's gym story. Right. That would be terrible. There were times at a Wolko bargain bin where I bought cassettes, bought, purchased, factory manufactured cassettes that did not have a tab ripped off.

Oh, wow. So you could tape over them. Yeah, but they were like commercially – you knew it was the bottom of the bargain bin barrel though. It was just such a weird thing. And I did accidentally tape over maybe Gino Vannelli perhaps if that's a name that means anything to – Sure. Probably my favorite musician of all time. Love Gino.

Gotta love – hey, it's Gino, baby. That's his famous catchphrase. Gino Vannelli's famous catchphrase. Anyways. So yeah. Let's Vanali's famous catchphrase. Anyways. Let's head for the middle of the road. That's where Gino comes to play. Yeah. Yeah, this is great.

So this guy, so to recap, a man got a coveted understudy spot in Hamlet. Which, by the way. The melancholy Dane. Can I say that? Who's the melancholyy spot in Hamlet. Which, by the way. The melancholy Dane. Can I say that. Who's the melancholy Dane? Hamlet. As a former professional actor, by which I mean I was on Comedy Bang Bang that one time. I have to say that I cannot imagine a worse job in all of theater.

Right. Than understudying a local production of Hamlet. You have to memorize all of the. All the Hamlet lines. Right. thought they were there to see a nursery rhyme-themed musical featuring song parodies of the music of ABBA. What's that? Okay, I'm going to change it. I'm going to say, you hope that one day you'll get to go on stage for 12 people who thought they had bought tickets to a production of an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Those are great.

Especially if it's the musical one. Gotta love that musical one. Yeah, gotta love that musical one. Did you know there's a musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Those are great. Especially if it's the musical one. Gotta love that musical one. Yeah, gotta love that musical one. Did you know there's a musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer? And there's a silent one, too? It's a really audacious show. Exactly. They really broke lots of molds.

Yeah. Yeah, and I was going to ask you guys if either of you have ever been to an intervention, but are you supposed to talk about it? You're probably not supposed to talk about ever having been to an intervention, right? You could probably talk about it generally, right? Sure. Generally what it was like. Why would you not talk about it if it – you want to talk about it if it succeeded.

Yeah. If it failed, keep it under your hat. Sure. Because, yeah, you dropped the ball somehow if you failed. Yeah. I've never been to an intervention. Have you ever intervened? I once sold heroin to Dr. Drew.

Does that count? Yeah, I mean, sure. Yeah. He's a great-looking guy in person. Oh, very handsome. Taller than you'd think. Very handsome. Taller than you'd think.

Very handsome guy. More addicted to heroin than you would think. Yeah. Yeah. You never know from looking at him. Yeah, he doesn't bring it up much on the show, but it's sort of once you know about it, it's kind of a subtle thrumming in the background. Like you hear him talking about different stuff and you realize what he's really talking about is how he needs a fix of heroin. Sure.

Or as he calls it, junk. Unless you're into it, you don't know that street lingo. Yeah. He goes, I need to paper it down after the show. What does that mean? Yeah, exactly. What does that mean yeah exactly what does that mean exactly i have a co-worker an ex-co-worker uh-huh who we were talking about dr drew uh-huh in the office and she's like who's dr drew and everybody's you don't know who dr drew is oh you know he's on love line didn't ring a bell guy does the celebrity rehab type show. And then she's like, oh, you mean Drew Pinsky.

So she knew Dr. Drew's real name but didn't know his name was Dr. Drew? Wow. I've only learned who Dr. Drew was in the past year. Oh, OK. And it was because Fred Stoller, the comedian, sometimes does live events where Dr. Drew analyzes him on stage. And that's my only knowledge of dr drew interesting other than references when i did stand-up it was weird because i i knew about things in popular culture because every shitty comedian was referencing the

same thing so i never knew who the crocodile hunter was but i knew he had an australian accent sure and said bye crikey all the time yeah. You were focused on the important shit, like the films of American International Pictures. I do not appreciate that laughter over there. And yes, you were quite accurate. Have you ever been to an intervention? No, I've never intervened. I don't guess I barely knew that interventions were real. Yeah, they just seem like comedy sketch premises.

Yeah, exactly. I think that's a fair way of describing them. But I'm sure they've helped a lot of people. Yeah, and not helped a lot of people probably also. Sure, maybe driven people away from their families. Yeah, but anyway. Hard to say. I don't think so, though.

An intervention, if you were the subject of one, it would make you feel like shit. And I don't think making somebody feel like shit is ever really a cure. Yeah. Maybe the good ones you're not supposed to. It's supposed to be we love you. We're here for you. We want you to get help. Yeah.

Oh, is that how they go? We're introducing you to Dr. Drew from Lovelines. Right. I guess the comedy sketch one is that Mr. Show one where it turns out to be a roast. Oh, yeah. Don't do that i think i think i can funny i think i can understand why someone would know dr drew as drew pinsky and not as dr drew i knew my aunt laura ingraham uh as as aunt laura for many years before i found out even was a doctor. Yeah, so in this scenario, he showed up to his first rehearsal and it turned out to be

But he was there as kind of a reverse honeypot. Right. He was there to tell the actor. I'm assuming they were playing Hamlet. Do you think they picked this guy because he was intimidating? I don't know. Maybe because it would be insulting to be replaced by him. Like how- Intimidating? I don't know. Maybe because it would be insulting to be replaced by him. This guy's going to play you.

Like how Wallace Shawn got the start of his acting career because he was the one guy they could find who was plausibly a more goofy boyfriend than Woody Allen? Yes, I think so. If it was his first time, why would they trust him with fire? Yeah. so why if it was his first time why would they trust him with fire yeah i think it was a metaphorical fire lighting a metaphorical fire under his ass to get clean so he doesn't have to be replaced by this joker because it sounded kind of literal yeah what does fire represent metaphorically i don't know i'm probably uh like a clean slate right sure or because you would think that the other hamlet's all consuming ambition right

but his ambition is like if it was a metaphor why wouldn't it be left up to all those other people who already knew the guy to light the fire why is it left to the new guy to light the fire sure sure could it be yeah a sexual fire like in uh my favorite song light my fire by the doors could be by the great american poet doors guy uh love love that door i visited doors guy's grave when i went to paris and between not i did a shot i blazed a dupe dyslexia dyslexia and jim morrison i really plunged into that sentence thinking jim morrison would come to me but it sure did not Have you guys ever seen the movie that he made when he was in art school, Jim Morrison?

He made a movie? No, I guess I was too busy watching The Crocodile Hunter. It's on YouTube. Crikey, mate. I can't do the voice. I can't do the voice. It's on YouTube. It's about 50 minutes long. It's him wandering through the desert and filling up his car with gas

in several scenes. So there's several scenes of him at like a 76 station just pumping gas. You know, I find – It sounds overrated. Anyway. I find deserts to be a really powerful metaphor for community theater actors who need to get clean. Yeah. Yeah.

That's how I saw it. I mean, when I watched it on YouTube, that's what it reminded me of. Well, hey, take the hint. Yeah. We're here to intervene. Oh, geez. Do you think this applies to guys who were on Comedy Bang Bang one time? Ooh, maybe it does.

Is this an intervention? Yeah, it is. Jesse, sorry. Boy, we love you. Yeah. We're your friends. I love you, too, especially you, Cliff. Cliff would have worse.

I mean. I thought who better to come here and tell you that you've been. Well, you and I have known each other since we were 19 years old. Sure, yeah. Sorry, Jess, you've been replaced by your understudy until you can figure stuff out. Oh, wow. So Joe Rogan is right outside. He's building a fire in your office.

Oh, jeez. He's building a fire in your office. And if you don't get your shit together, Joe Rogan's coming in here. And the show is going to be all about how the moon landing was fake. Well, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. I've got to get straight. Thank you. Completely fictional, imagined podcast for the beef and dairy industries. It works for me. The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is the number one podcast for those involved, or just interested, in the production of beef animals and dairy herds. Don't worry, it's funnier than it sounds.

Find us at beefanddairynetwork.com or maximumfund.org, or wherever you get your podcasts from. Oh, God, there's the rat. Oh, God. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Cliff Nesteroff, boy spot welder.

Yeah. Because they got those little hands. They can do finer work. Rivets, nuts, metals. When can we watch Cliff Nesterov's show on Viceland? Apparently, according to an email that was relayed to me from a publicist. Technically, Cliff Nesterov does not even know that he hosted a show for Viceland.

It's a Truman Show kind of thing. Yeah. They filmed him walking around. That is how we did it. Talking to Michael Winslow. I will tell you this much. We improvised the series. And I had a meeting in New York with the head of production there. We had already been in production for like a month.

We had flown around and filmed things. He goes, so how do you guys write it? What's the process? And in my mind, I was like, don't say you make it up. Don't say you make it up. I said, well, we write a script and we kind of base it on that. And then we kind of improvise off the script because you can't say you don't write a TV show. But that is what we did.

And then it was pieced together in the editing room. That's how we found the narrative, the arc about, you know, the ABC kind of storyline. So we shot like 25 hours for 22 minutes in each episode. And it was the editor who really wrote these shows. And like I say, going in with the premise, with the idea that Michael Winslow is going to be the sad end of the story. And this other person is going to be the happy end of the story. And having that concept shattered and coming to the opposite conclusion at the end was sort of created in the editing room. But yeah.

I think when you're at a meeting at Viceland and I – It's Viceland, right? Not Viceland. Viceland. Viceland. Just like I don't want to give Jordan any advice on show business, I don't want to give you any advice on show business. Yeah, please don't.

Cliff and I are both very successful. If you'll permit me a moment to be that guy. I've got this tizia that's about to take off. I mean you're your own man. I do not permit you, but please. When you've got a meeting at Viceland and they ask you how do you make your show, I think what you say is I do some PCP, get on a plane to the Gaza Strip and try and buy some guns. Yeah, that's what they want. Yeah. I think that's what they're looking for.

You know, I bet the PCP trip on the plane would be worse than being on PCP in the Gaza Strip. Yeah, that seems like the ideal situation if you're trying to buy guns in the Gaza Strip. Unless the in-flight entertainment is a couple episodes of The Big Bang Theory. Oh. Have you ever watched The Big Bang Theory jacked on PCP? That's right. You're so jacked up, the catchphrase changes slightly from Bazinga to Gazinga. Who is the black actor in Miami Vice?

Before he was famous, he did a great PCP made-for-TV movie. Really? Yeah, and I don't know how well you guys know Los Angeles. The guy who's not Don Johnson. Yeah. The other guy. I don't know how well you guys know Los Angeles. Jamie Foxx from the movie.

That's right. That's right. On La Brea and I want to say Washington Boulevard, there's that 24-hour restaurant Lucy's with a big yellow – you know that place? Sure. A very famous location in many things. This PCP movie takes place in the garage next to that restaurant. Oh. And there's like a mechanic shop there that's still there.

It has like a very stylized 70s logo. It has like a very stylized 70s logo and the actor in the PCP movie wears the uniform of that real mechanic shop with the logo on it and drives their company van while he's high on PCP in the movie. It's the little details. The little details. Was Helen Hunt famously on PCP in like a television movie? In an after school special. Yes, she was. She was also in Girls Just Want to Have Fun with Sarah Jessica Parker.

There you go. I actually am on PCP. Oh. Which is another little show business fun fact. Boy, we're going to have to add some steps to this intervention. I thought we were just trying to get you off crank. Yeah. No. The thing is I had to lift a car up off of a baby.

Okay. That's an excuse. Addicts. If there's one thing I know about addicts, they make excuses. I did a little angel dust. There's a baby under a I did a little angel dust. There's a baby in your car. A little angel dust. I was in a gang war in 1970s New York, so I did a little, little bit of angel dust.

That's how it starts. If you want to watch Cliff's special, they're marathonin' the thing on Viceland, July 30th, 8 p.m. Set those DVRs. On Viceland, July 30th, 8 p.m. Set those DVRs. And Cliff's book is called The Comedians, blurbed by none other than my colleague, Mr. John Hodgman. Also blurbed by Mel Brooks, your other colleague. Yeah, so Mel Brooks is sort of like the poor man's John Hodgman.

I think so. They kind of stole Hodgman's stick a little bit. They call him the Jewish John Hodgman. Yeah. John Hodgman may literally be the least Jewish person in the entire comedy industry. Cliff Nesteroff, what a joy to have you on the program. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. Daniel Baruela on the boards this week.

We are going to be live in Los Angeles, August 12th at Angel City Brewery. Not just us. We're going to have stand-up comedy from our Max Fund colleagues, Riley Silverman and Danielle Bradford. Two of the funniest. They are going to be so brilliant and hilarious. So, Jesse, let's get you some music.

Let's get you some tunes. Maybe what if we got open Mike Eagle to be there and do some music? I'd love that. Great. Well, then that's all coming up. Get your tickets now. They're cheap. They're on sale.

You can find the ticket link at MaximumFun.org. Our producer, Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. Hashtag it JJGo on Twitter. MaximumFun.reddit.com if you want to chat about it. You can like Jordan Jesse Go on Facebook. You can also follow us on Twitter, at Jesse Thorne and at Jordan underscore Morris. Am I forgetting any of the things we're supposed to say?

I think that's all the things. Go get those t-shirts, okay? Get those shirts, MaxTownStore, it me, I'm that. If it you, if you are that, I don't want any false advertising. Sure, yeah. Just take a good look at yourself and think, is that me? Am I that?

It me? I'm that? Right. If so, get the shirt. Get shirt. Our thanks to Cliff Nesteroff. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. Maximum fun.org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported.